The Best Things You've Learned From Your Parents
 

During my time working away and keeping busy. It does get incredibly hard and incredibly lonely. I'm proud to say that I have really great parents that are there to support me and get through all the rough times that come with working up here especially my dad.

I consider my dad to be one of my very best friends because the knowledge that man has attained through all of his experiences that he has had in his life has played a very important part in the person I am today. My dad was the only person in my family that truly respected all of my individual interests. Even if it seemed obscure or different compared to what was considered normal at the time.

I use to be a real depressive teen. Always whining about how life was unfair and that I could never get a break. My dad always made himself available to talk especially through some of the most horrible times I've ever had to endure in life. A lot of the things that I believe in right now are the things that he told me. His words of wisdom have helped get through any challenging time in my life because he taught me that it is the very challenges that go through in life is what defines you.

My dad has never had it easy, he always worked hard for everything that is important to him and it is through his experiences and my future wife that I look upon for inspiration while I continue to work up here.

I'll share you the story and the lesson that I still believe in to this very day because of its value in my life right now. My dad had lost his job in the early to mid 1990's. This was due to cod fishery closing down in our province and unfortunately a lot of people in the entire province had lost their jobs and this happened back in 1992-1993. He had an opportunity to have a really good paying job but he had to move his entire family to the other side of canada to vancouver island. He was against it because he wanted to keep his family home. They gave him this other option that he had to go away for 4 to 5 months at a time. When I was between the ages of 12-15 I didn't have much of a fatherly presence and he had to go away to places such as china, russia, equador, costa rica, and taiwan. He did that to keep his family home, and so that he had the rest of his life to look forward to and as hard as three years were he never had to move away to work again. I truly commend my mom for having the patience and love for him to endure that as well as hard as it was for me and my other siblings.

The lesson he taught me from this experience is that life is not based upon conveience. If your not willing to work hard and sacrifice for the things and the people that mean the most to you; your not ready to make the most out of your life.

That is absolutely one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned from my parents.

To the GFF community what are some of the best things you've ever learned from your parents?

My dad taught me how to be an asshole.


My life ROCKS!@

My dad thoroughly enforced the notion of staying away from drugs, cigarettes and alcohol to me as a kid. I'll always be forever grateful for it. I have never smoked a cigarette or did a drug in my life. I also have never drank a beer in my life. Now drinking is a different animal all together unless you are driving while drunk. But I am still glad that I never got into alcohol.

Also since he was a cop, he always was on me about being a good kid and not getting myself in trouble with the law. I've always stayed free getting myself in trouble in that regard.

My parents taught me that being a subservient member of the Catholic church is a great way to kill hours upon hours a week scraping your knees and also provide a great way to fool yourself into thinking that things happen simply by saying pretty little poems and making grand grand wishes. By their example, I have learned to steer VERY FAR FAR AWAY from what they are.

Don't get me wrong... I love my parents to the death but I sure as hell don't want to BECOME THEM.

Same here. I've also learned that church is a great place to compare clothing.

I don't blame my parents for wanting to believe in something, it's just not where I am right now.

No one wants to become their parents. They are too dorky, too outdated... but we end up following in their footsteps regardless. :)

Speaking of religion, my dad isn't very religious, but my mom is pretty religious. My mom tried to get me into it, but even as a kid I never really bought it. To me god was sort of like another version of the Easter Bunny.

I guess some things stick and some don't. Ultimately we have to be our own individuals.

My dad taught me not to wear his socks just because I was too lazy to fetch my own from the basement.

My mom taught me which fork goes with the salad.

Not all lessons are required to possess deep philosophical implications.

The most important thing either of my parents have taught me is that bubble wrap and helium are ALWAYS funny.

Well...they taught me how to argue with an annoying person in the 'right' way...
My father taught me how to be patient.
My mother INSISTED me on religions (though I don't go that way).

But basically, they taught me how NOT to be like them. That's the best part.

EDIT: And how NOT to be up-to-date. Sucks.

I've realized, disected, and become aware of some of the worst failings of both of my parents and ... somehow I've adopted all of them.
Just as perplexingly, I have started to pick up some of their most admirable character traits: patience, maturity, charisma, doing the right things, doing proper things when it's very difficult to do.

As for the failings, well, my mother's failings, as few as they are, I am comfortable with. Furthermore, I am glad I haven't picked up the worst of my father's failings but some things have definitely crept up in there.

It's strange to think of me in terms of who they are. What do you suppose they were like when they were my age? Did they ever think they would impact someone else they way they have? And will I ever -- how will I impact my children? What kind of nasty character traits will I pass on? What kind of nice things will I teach them?
Far as I see, I am damned lazy and very hard to get going on a proper matter. I give up easily and I don't stand up for myself enough. But at the same time, once I start working, I work hard and I become a perfectionist. I put my family very seriously, extremely seriously. I can easily get lost and I can't hold a grudge very long.

The way I look at my father now, the piece of shit I think he is -- will my son look at all the shitty things about me that way?
God. That would really suck.

Most important lesson:

To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.

Truly a very good thing to know.

My dad taught me that it's okay to be gay... if you're a woman.

Oh, that's fucking rich. Maturity, charisma and patience? Please. You're like a 10 year old with tantrums on the board, all while being thoroughly unlikeable.

So... you haven't picked up the worst of them, but you've adopted all of them? Impressive.

The rest of us do, why shouldn't he?

Unfortunate for you that you're all man.

Uh...huh? And why is that?

That family is overrated.

More from my mother than my father. I was aware of my father's shortcomings but he acknowledges them himself and doesn't hold any illusions about infallible moral rectitude or anything.

My mother, on the other hand, has been spiralling downward ever since she remarried and it's truly beginning to grate on my nerves. She's finding religion again and now her husband (ex-seminarian AND ex-military, how's that for a recipe for self-righteousness) has her all but completely brainwashed into believing in his warped worldview wherein her "failure" to take my brother and myself to church as we were growing up represents a serious failure on her part as a human being. It's sick watching what he's doing to her mind but sicker still to hear her parrot it and go right along with it. He actually once told me that he and I were at war, but that it was "a moral war" and that he couldn't possibly lose. How she can possibly defend him to me, in anything he does, after that episode is beyond me.

But I've stopped caring. She knows he's on a one-strike system wherein after his first fuckup, he is never again permitted in my home and that I'll call the police on sight if I see him. Scorched-earth? Maybe, but like I said, I've stopped caring. My brother goes off to college in another year and I'm confident I'll be able to maintain my stellar relationship with him, especially when he's no longer stuck sharing a house with the two of them.

I'd probably have a lot of bad things to say about my father too, but since he moved out to PA (we're in Chicago) the lack of day-to-day contact makes things much easier. I'm sure a lot of it is my borderline-LeHah level of disagreeability that can sometimes exhibit itself (less here than in real life), but you can't tell me that you don't get jaded when your mother (formerly the godlike, infallible, ultimately reliable paragon of stability in your young eyes) marries a complete and utter cocksucker and is totally blind to the error she's made.

Oh, but they were old high school sweethearts, reunited in their hometown. So that makes it all okay or something. Whatever.

Edit: Oh, wait, it says "best" things. Ummmmmm...get back to you on that?

Because her dad was a perv, duh.....

Angel of FUCKING LIGHT MANNNNN.....call this place GGF.

Who the fuck is GGF, and does your fiance know about her? I am so telling on you.

Well, I kind of took what I saw and heard from my parents and learned how not to do certain things. My parents got divorce when I was 3. My dad moved out. My mom left me with my relatives, she came to visit a couple of times until I was 6 (last time I saw my mom), until I moved to live with my dad. My dad left me with my uncle's family when I was 9 (last time I saw my dad).

My parents fought with each other, they don't talk about the hard things to each other and to the kids. I used to get really angry and I still do get angry when I think about it but everything I've been through really made me think about the kind of person I want to be to myself, others, and maybe someday when I have kids. I don't concentrate on not wanting to be like my parents BUT for me I want to follow my heart, be a good person, be true to myself and be liked by people because of it than being liked by people for pretending to be someone deep down inside I feel I am not, and to live an honest life.

You know, I'm sure my dad's taught me other more important things, but I keep coming back to landscaping skills whenever someone asks me a question like this.

I'm not really an outdoors person, so the only reason I know how to work with concrete, or repair sprinkler systems, plant trees etc, is because of my dad. I'm actually quite grateful for that.

You never loan money to family, it's always a gift.

Also, you'd be surprised how cheaply you can eat if you really had to.

I didn't only learn bad things though. I learned the importance of fairness, and to put myself in another person's shoes before I call them a dumbshit fuckface.

Mother:
Money skills
Planning
Perfectionism

Dad:
How to spot good weed from bad
How to shotgun a beer
Hunting/Fishing
Engines

God, you would think my dad is cool as hell, but in the end he wasn't all that much of my dad.

From my mom:

- Choosing clothing that looks good for cheap.

Me and my brother were practically raised by shopping at Target, Wal-Mart, Old Navy, Gap, and all those places when they had sales. The funny part was that we'd buy this cheap clothing at a reasonable price and still look better than someone who wore clothing from Armani Exchange and paid almost three times more.

Dad:

- Anything that involves DIY work.

My dad is extremely handy with tools and extremely cheap when it comes to money. His belief is, when you can do it yourself for ten times cheaper, go and do it yourself. We recently switched our closet and computer room and now we're working on our kitchen. We've probably saved hundreds of dollars just doing it ourself instead of getting a contractor to work on it for us.

My father taught me first that nothing was beyond my abilities if I worked hard enough. Then he taught me what it meant to have integrity and how to take responsibility for myself. Then he taught me ambition. Currently he's trying to teach me wisdom.

My mother taught me faith.

Well uhm... I'd say the best experiences are the ones that were left untold. You'd learn a lot faster and its rather more profound impact on yourself. I was left without a parent when I was 11, so I learn a lot about the importance of managing your life early on. She fucked hers up pretty badly.

Really, she didn't have to tell me anything, just a simple look back into all that shit we (my brother and I) went through then was incredible. Its near impossible to forget because it became a major life lesson from then on.

But I know this though, the most important lesson she ever taught me before she died was just DON'T EVER fucking sugar coat a lie to your own damn kid.

You know, this is sort of like when Fire on Ice posts in a "what's the hardest lesson you've ever learned" thread. There's no more to be said. She wins. No one tops this. Lights down. Curtains down. Thank you Cleveland, there will be no encore.

Yeah, sorry about that. I've been cutting myself up too many times.

But you know what! LET ME FIX IT.

I learned how to talk. I guess that's important.

Clearly more important for some than others.

How to treat my potential future kids. My parents found a good balance between strict and relaxed, but when I don't step out of line we have a great type of relationship. It's casual, I can talk to them with ease about anything even though I don't confess all my thoughts and feelings with them. I have a lot of respect for my parents, we're not a lovey dovey family but we all love each other a great amount. It's all good.

Hard work doesn't always get you ahead but it at least pays the bills


and while watching University of Alabama football games, never leave before the end of the game.

Work hard when you are young, reap the rewards once you are done.

Suffice to say, I'm reaping the rewards now: I recently bought my first car and a snowboard =)

Still looking at a PS3, but meh.

A snowboard, huh?

I guess they educated you pretty well!

I really admire my parents, especially my mom, for being the way she is despite coming from the parents she had. Not because her parents are bad, but because my grandparents were always very Right-wing, very prudish and very Republican. My mom is everything they are not, and is very supportive of all the ideas that my grandma considered "wild" and "foolish."

My dad always made me pay for my own stuff, even when I was 6 or 7 years old. No free toys from daddy... if I somehow acquired money from birthdays or Christmas, I had to save it and buy things with that. Did I really want that giant T-Rex with stomping sound effects? Or would I rather save that $40 and put it towards something larger, like a Sega Nomad? :eagletear: (yes, that was the decision I made one Birthday...) So it's not that I bought things that were important necessarily, but I did learn to be selective with what I spent my money on. Now that I'm older and more independent, it's definitely a useful life skill -- especially since I have friends that lack that kind of selective spending, and it affects their quality of life.

I think my 'down to earth' trait was something I picked up from my mom... if I wasnt taught that by her, then I certainly learned it by watching her life. I will always be grateful to her for passing on her dark sense of humor, including her sarcasm, to me. And something she had to tell me before I really completely noticed it for myself... she sarcastically remarked one day, "Oh the HORRORS, I've raised my daughters to be INDEPENDENT WOMEN!" I'm more than grateful to her for that. <3

My dad... well, he taught me that a check doesnt always go as far as you'd like it to (or need it to), so budgeting is always good. And his unintentional lesson was keeping a watchful eye on how much I drink.

When thinking about my parents and what I've learned from them, a couple things stand out. Mostly from my father, but anywho...
My father told me that I shouldn't be hurt if I can't have something since I didn't have it in the first place. And of course there's the whole "knowledge is power" thing...
He's also told me to do the (class) work because it's gonna help me in the long run. It's another way of thinking. This is in response to me failing a class I hated(but needed for my major).

My mother has taught me to be a hard worker and share. And I do well with those.
Outside of home.

I learned to persevere from my mother. I have never seen anyone as hard working or determined as her; no matter what shit life throws her way she just keeps going. Admittedly with a kind of desperately chirpy optimism that irritates me, but then I'm quite cynical myself.

From my dad I learned a good sense of judgement and tact with most things. He was always the one who stood back and evaluated situations, then dealt with them appropriately. My friends tend to look to me to help them with difficult problems and I hope I've managed to give them that.

I think my parents have just given me a lot of emotional and spiritual guidance. There is a cultural and generational gap between us, so they're not great at teaching "life" issues. But I've definitely learned character and morals from them.

I figure I've learned far more from the shitty example my parents set throughout my later childhood and adolescence than anything either of them actually sat me down for a talk about. Everything I picked up from them is a result of their own shortcomings - of which there are many. Hell, I was never around them long enough to pick up on anything.

Without bitching and moaning too much, long story short: I spent ten years in a place I hated and only realised towards the end of that time that I should have been questioning my circumstances all along. A shitfit I threw at eight was the full extent of any defiance I showed in the face of the situation, and a consequent hide-tanning taught me to not bring it up again. I did my best to play by all the rules throughout, but during the last two years of school, a few things occurred which caused me to so thoroughly change my perspective that I found it hard to accept my surroundings. The main lesson learned as a result of all that was to be assertive and perceptive from the beginning - and I'll be damned if those years didn't bolster my resolve something solid.

Oh, yeah, and when I was fifteen mum taught me how to iron things.

Hold my word. Once, when my father was angry at me, he still agreed to copy some cassettes for me because he promised it. He may be a mountain of pride, but he is a man of honour.

Responability. He had a rather rude manner to show it to me, but my father taught me to be responsible for my actions.

I learned not to have kids at a young age thank god! but seriously, my mom had to raise me and sister on her own and we don't always get along but no matter what's happened in our lives or whenever I was struggling personally, even when I didn't think they loved me at all, they were still there. I guess what I learned is how to survive. Things are constantly changing, you don't always get notice of it, and falling down won't make it any easier.

My dad, I talked to him once, I learned that sometimes ppl deserve second chances. He made mistakes and wasn't around but I still love him and I know he was doing the best thing for me. I really should try and talk to him again but he has a new family now and I want him to be good them and be there for them since he couldn't with me.

The best lesson I've learned from my parents' mistakes: Nothing in life is permanent.

I learned never to sleep arround with strange women. My dad went on a business trip to mexcio and came back with crabs.

If you're going to fuck before marriage, be a little bit more assured in your methods of birth control :)

DO your research! My mom always taught me this and a teacher did as well. one of the best lessons of my life. I see this in different ways now that I actualy do my research instead of listening to what anybody tells me. Especially the damned media. I was always one to judge and say things without knowing the whole story. I regret it but now I know better. Boy do I ever.

I learned from my parents is simplicity, courage, fearless and respect the old people. Also to stand in my own interests.

how not to be like them

I finally learnt not to wear gym pants in public.

I think I've taught them more than they have me, though. =o

My Mum taught me how to read. She taught me not to complain, to work hard, and to not assume that I am entitled to something just because my friends have it... that we all come from different situations and the truly meaningful measure of success is not so much how far we get in life but how far we have travelled.

I had a number of fathers growing up, never knew my real one, and only ever had a real relationship with the last one. He taught me that I was worth saving. That alone has kept me going, methinks. Knowing that no matter how much I screw up he'll still think I'm worth something makes the mysteries of life that much less intimidating.

My mom never taught me about shame or modesty. My pop taught me how handle a pocket knife and to keep a roll of dimes in my pocket, in case i ever wanted to punch a dude... Yeehaw... sigh. :twitch:

I've learned about never giving up from my dad. people always know me as extremely persistent....and in the end I usually get my way.

if you never give up, you will eventually succeed. for the most part. and yes, even with women (kinda) lol

Not to be like them. Obviously, an implicit lesson, but one of the most important ones I've gained over the years.

It's funny because my parents always told me to look at other people as a marker of who I should be and how I should develop my own personality, and I turn it back on them and see the way they both are and how I never want to be.

My Father has always been a hard worker and when he wants something he works hard for it. However, I have not always picked that up. I am not as ambitious as he is, but at the same time when I really want something or believe in something, I work hard at it.

My Father taught me how to communicate with people. He taught me that the most important thing in life is to be as honest and trustworthy as humanly possible. It is through this lesson that I have been able to live my life with as much fairness to others as possible. Yes, sometimes I deviate from it, but when dealing with the public and with many, if not all my friends, I have always been straight up and honest. I have been brought up with the ideology that being honest creates a reputation that people believe in.

My mother: "Growing up means learning that you can't have everything you want."

My dad was nice to everyone. He made friends from the window washers, janitors to the commissioners and everyone in between. He would get invited into their offices for coffee, folks would give him stuff just for the asking.

Never look down on anyone for their job - it's just a job - it's the person behind the job that is what counts.

My dad taught me that it's not where you go, but it's how you get there. Also, why make a new wheel if you can copy and improve one?

My mom taught us table etiquette and how to be polite and nice to others, basically how you present yourself to other people.

My parents taught me how to survive - by trying to kill my soul. I was abused through out my entire childhood. I don't know who I've been without them but I don't grief the person I've become either.

Learning how to save money and always be prepared for that rainy day. Growing up, my mother seemed like the cheapest person to ever exist. But looking back, she was a single mom making due with much less than I understood, and I was a brat who had no concept of why we couldn't spend money. The constant concern/nagging over money put a bit of a strain on our relationship for a while, but in today's current climate, I have never been more happy she taught me how to live on nothing. It paid off in the past too, letting me live abroad without a job far longer than I really should have been able to.

I, like other posters to this thread, didn't learn what to do or how to live from my parents. I learned what NOT to do. Don't be an abusive drunk. Don't lie to my kids constantly. Don't do cocaine or marijuana. Don't accidentaly shoot guns in the apartment and blow holes in the concrete walls. Don't take so many sleeping pills that you fall over and break two VCR's. Don't run off and have kids with other people, then deny it, then move in with that other person and stop calling your first (well, technically, second) child. Don't promise you'll be home then not come...on Christmas. Don't support a man who steps on your throat when he's angry. Don't beat your kid so bad on the boardwalk that people threaten to call the cops. And many other great lessons on what NOT to do as an adult.