Age Barriers in Romance
 

I've been single for a while and after approximately nine months of time spent enjoying the single life, I recently decided to renew the hunt for a girlfriend.

It is, however, seemingly more difficult now that I'm a good seven years older than I was when I began dating my ex. I've entered another age bracket, so to speak; I'm now in my early thirties and I've discovered that it's not quite the same game I was playing when I was in my twenties. The rules haven't changed but the attitudes of the players have.

I have plenty of social contact with young women in their late teens and early twenties. They're fresh out of high school and have experienced a bit of college. While many of them are nice and physically attractive, I find myself having little desire to date them. They haven't acquired enough maturity and perspective, I'm concerned that we'd find it too difficult to relate to each other's world. Their daily experience is no longer my own and I doubt I'd have the patience to entertain the insecurities that I now, in my wisdom, know to be trivial.

I'm not interested in older women either. I can accept someone who's one, two, maybe even three years older than me, but anything more feels innately awkward. If there's no possibility that we could've simultaneously attended the same high school, I tend to think of the woman as simply too old for me. Once again, her world and mine may not overlap well. I'm likely overthinking that one but I still can't deny my basic feelings on the matter.

On both sides of the coin, there's also the subject of acting in a socially acceptable manner. Set aside all the rhetoric about not caring what people think, because I often don't. Yet, I also see no reason to purposely invite strange stares or jeering comments - I'm not looking to date someone for the shock value. If you date someone who's too young, you risk being treated as a cradle-robber. If you date someone who's perceived as too old, you're treated as a weirdo (or if you're a woman, a golddigger). This is someone who might be with you for a long time; the disapproval of friends and family can drive a wedge between an otherwise happy union.


So I ask, how far above and below your own age are you willing to date? How young is too young? At what point does dating an older person stop being sexy and start being creepy? Do you react negatively when your friends date someone who's way too young/old?


Me, I'm 32. My cutoff seems to be 25-35. Girls below 25 are still inexperienced in many aspects of life and haven't yet acquired a full sense of themselves. Women over 35 are heading toward middle-age and sometimes become very oversensitive about their age and appearances. If they haven't been successful with romances, they might be inclined to "settle" and I wouldn't enjoy knowing I was the next-to-the-sort-of-kinda-okay-guy who came along. I require someone that likes me for me, not for merely having a pulse.

The youngest girl I dated was 19 when I was 26 and, for me, that was a fucking gargantuan gap. Girls at that age are barely mature enough to not giggle when they see Orlando Bloom with his wavy golden locks in The Lord of The Rings and yet, there I was, trying to make a relationship with this broad who was still very much a fucking child in her own head.

Last year I was dating this girl who was 21 and I was already 29 which makes that about an 8 year gap. That seemed a little more manageable since we got along great and even though she could be quite immature sometimes, she was mostly level-headed enough to be called a full-grown woman. Still, the whole thing fell apart because I caught her making out with (get this) HER HUSBAND after work. Live and learn and all that jazz.

Having said all this, my new acceptable age gap for dating is 4 years and not a day younger. Perhaps when I have someone closer to my age it won't be such a disparate mess to deal with.

Then again, it's not like I'm actively searching for a girl at the moment but I figure that a 4 year difference is acceptable for most people.

This subject is actually kind of a big deal to me. All my friends are anywhere from two to ten years older than I am. It's not that I care about age all that much and refuse to be friends with people that are younger/the same age. It just turned out like that for whatever reason, "naturally" if you will.

However at the same time, I always find myself romantically attracted to girls younger than me. Not way younger, but a few years. I've dated up to four years younger than me. And it's not really a physical thing I think--I like fully developed women, big breasts and whatnot. But I think it's the youthful energy that I like in younger girls. Well, rationalizing it doesn't matter really, the fact remains that that's how it is.

But it seems that my relationships are doomed because of this--I may be attracted to the girls, but beyond that there is nothing. So there is no way that tension will develop into a full relationship where I can get along with the person, which is really all that matters. Even my longest relationship (over a year, I guess that's not all that long but it is for me) was little more than sexual/romantic.

Even the girl I like now is two years younger than me. To be fair though, she's very mature for her age, she's got her life together more than me. But we'll see.

Anyway, I don't judge people for dating in different age categories than their own, short of lolicon/cradle-robbing.

As for "hard" age limits, I don't particularly care about age, but my rule is I don't date anyone who's still in high school (grammar school? Dunno how it works in the US exactly) or who's got memories from the year I was born. So it's something like 18-28. Similar to you Crash it seems.

A lot of the time in my twenties I would end up dating people younger than me. The last of them was a girl who was 21 while I was 28. We dated for about three months. I generally didn't find these relationships particularly stable for the precise reasons you've stated. I didn't really recognise it as such at the time, though.

My current girlfriend is much closer to my own age. She's only 2 years younger than me, and we have a much better connection. She's that much more realistic about relationships, for one thing. She lost the stars in her eyes a long time ago, as did I. We both understand that it's not supposed to be perfect or transcendent. It's enough for it to be pretty good.

I never went out seeking younger girls, but due to work and whatever else, my social circle always seemed to include more 20-25 year old girls than any other age bracket. I guess it still does.

The biggest gap I've had has been 10 years difference: I was 22, he was 32. Needless to say, that was an insanely short-lived relationship.

Like so many people, I wondered if it could work between us, despite the age difference. The answer was conclusively and resoundingly "no." He wanted to get super-serious. I was not ready to have anything serious at all. That was the major issue, really - everything else was just personality differences. (I'm an aggression, liberal person. He was a relatively passive, "emotional" guy - which I can't deal too well with)

In retrospect, I don't think I'd date someone so much older or younger anymore. I'm 26 - that gives me a range of 16-36.

I think 5 years is good enough gap. I probably wouldn't cross that boundary again.

How young are you talking about? Breasts are usually done growing well before the age of majority.

As for me, I have a younger sister who's 18 so I'd be pretty wigged out about dating a guy close to her age. Maybe like 21 or something would be okay. As for an upper limit, I really haven't thought of it much, as my current boyfriend is only a year older than me. Maybe like 35.

I have a girl who is way too young interested in me right now. It's actually rather shitty because she seems mature, but I've made that mistake before thinking someone was "mature for their age" and it turns out they really weren't. (I guess all that really means is they aren't idiots, which isn't really good enough.)

She's 16~17, and I won't bother. I just feel shitty avoiding her entirely, but at the time I met her I had no idea she was that young and the moment I found out I got really uncomfortable. :(

I guess even when someone may seem mature there is still a large difference in what someone in their mid 20's (or older) will want out of the relationship and what the younger person is really ready for/wants.

I realize this, and also that some girls don't develop big breasts no matter what their age is, so I guess I'm just saying that that's not my thing. So it's not like I'd want to date a 14 year old just cause she's all loli and undeveloped and that's what I'd go for, is what I'm saying. And don't try to pull that "thou protest too much" shit either. :tpg:

Like I said, with younger I mean at most a few years. It's mostly compared to my friends, since they're all older than me.

I was about to make a thread similar to this, so I'll give my input. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years last May. For a while I didn't really feel like getting into a relationship, but like you I'm starting to look now that I'm out of that stage where you just want to be single after a break up. Anyway, I met some girl that works at a local restaurant and we made a connection. The thing is, she's 17 and I'm 22. I know she's a minor, but before she told me her age, I thought she was in college since I'm in a huge college town. Anyway, I don't really know if I should pursue it now that I know how young she is. Dating her wouldn't be illegal, but I'm not naive to what could happen. So I guess the lowest I'd go would be 19 (maybe 18). 3-4 years doesn't seem like too much to me once you're in college.

17 - 34. Those are my limits. Entirely arbitrary, sure, but there you have it. But that being said, I highly doubt I'd be willing to date a girl under 19. I mean, I'm willing to fuck a first year university student or a high school senior, but I don't really want to date them. (Unless their name is Capo and they share my love of music... then we can talk.) I think for me the age limits are largely based on an attractiveness thing. I just don't meet many women over 34 who are hot, and girls under 17 are, you know, children. Either way, I don't feel like fucking a child or an old broad. That's just how I roll.

The last seven women I dated were 18-21-19-26-18-22-20. And they all worked out fairly well. Youngest I ever dated (since I turned 18... I dated a 13 year old when I was 14, but I don't think that counts.) was 16. Oldest was 32.

I don't really have any advice to offer, just a few stories.

One of my close friends sister dated a guy for 8 years, just recently getting out of the relationship. They began dating when he was around 21 and broke up when he turned 29. She is 19 at the moment. I'm not sure how dysfunctional their family was/is, but to allow your daughter date a 21-year-old at the age of 11 seems very irresponsible. I'm not even sure how he got away with it for 8 years.

My first girlfriend (subsequently the girl I lost my virginity to) was 18 when we started dating. She was a senior and I was at the end of my freshman year at the ripe age of 14 years old. Of course my inability to take her out, drive and get a job got old quick and she broke up with me. She was very brutal and blunt about it. "Look. You're a kid. I like Matt (some dude I didn't know). He's got a car, a job and he takes me out. We've only been dating for a couple months but I need someone mature who doesn't spend all his time playing video games with his friends."

My friend Angel is 20 years old and is dating a 30-year-old. I find this creepy and for the life of me, I can't get along with him. I've already passed a judgement in my mind and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to like the guy. It's very obvious that he's older (by his looks) but he ACTS like he's my age. He hangs around with a crowd that's my age, goes to clubs, lives with his parents, doesn't have a car, and can't maintain a steady job for the life of him. Apparently she's all :hearteyes: over him because he "treats her well". Now, obviously that's a very important aspect in a relationship but for some reason, she can't seem to look past the fact that he's a complete loser.

/end rant

I usually set an unofficial buffer zone of about 3 years in either direction. That's not to say I wouldn't break that 'rule' if a decent enough person came along and she was either a little older or a little younger than that age gap. I've found, in interactions with people that are significantly younger, or significantly older, there is a huge difference in attitude and all that. Opinions and ideas are different and other such things. It's simply alot less hassle when you date closer to your age.

I'm pretty liberal when it comes to other people's dating lives. As long as both partners are over the age of 18 (and with a cut-off point of about 40), I don't see why they shouldn't give a relationship a chance. My views get hazy after the age of 40, become more circumstantial. I'm pretty strict in my own life though.

I've never seen the attraction of dating a guy who was younger than me. Maybe it's got something to do with my current age group, perhaps a preference that will stick with me, who knows. As for someone older, at this juncture in my life I wouldn't date anyone who was more than 3 years older than myself. The difference in our lifestyles would completely alienate me. I also feel intimidated by the thought of having a partner who has far more life experience than me; it's as if I have far more to live up to in the relationship.

I'm not quite sure why, but I'm entirely UNCOMFORTABLE with the idea of dating a guy younger than me. I just cant contemplate doing it. I mean, dont get me wrong, it MAY happen in the future, but it would take a LOT of getting used to. As for my upward age-gap, I probably wouldnt want him any older than 26 or so... I'm 21. Fives years seems enough for me. Again, who knows if it could change, but I think that's what I'd be most comfortable with.

My best friend from home was 19 when she started dating her 28-year old boyfriend, and I found it disgusting. Maybe it was because of who HE was (is)... a 28-year old guy who she met because he was attending a college party, with no steady job, and who leaves hickies all over her neck... but I dont think I would have liked it either way.

Mine's about 3 years in either direction. Part of that is legality's sake - I am really uncomfortable dating a girl younger than 18, being 21 myself. I haven't exactly tried pursuing anyone over 24 (though I've had some make out with me unexpectedly) but I don't see why I would, really. I know I'm not at that level of maturity yet, and I wouldn't be the best choice for them.

However, the widest gap ever for me was about 4 years. Technically it was still legal, but also a very, very bad idea.

That's messed up. Here I felt bad when I was 22 and I tried to ask out a girl that was 15(While I thought she was 17).

I seem to always like girls that are 5-6 years younger then me. Most recent girl I liked is 21 and I'm 27. But it's not that I have a particular thing for girls that young... they just seem to be the only ones I can actually stand being around that are single. Course this is all fairly irrelevant since I've never managed to get a single girl to date me. Girls my age or older always seem to be married already or they have kids which can be an intimidating factor when I've never even had a girlfriend.

4 years is my gap in both directions. I'm 22, so, 18 and 26.

I once fell for a girl who helped out on my movie who I was completely convinced was 18, and it turns out she was 16. That was rather depressing because not only is she incredibly cute, but she's extremely mature and witty for her age. Never seen a 16 year old like her.

Anyone more than 4 years younger than me just seems odd at this stage in life. If I'm still single in a few years, I'm sure I will be a little more lenient with the age gap considering everyone is essentially fair game.

I tend to be attracted to older guys as a rule, and really for anything serious I consider 3 years older than me to be the youngest. If I met a guy who was my age and acted fairly mature, then I wouldn't completely rule him out, but in my experience guys my age (22) still don't seem to know what they're looking for. Heck, even some of the 25 year olds I've been interested in are indecisive.

I think 8 years would be my limit, though. That's already more than my parents' age gap of 6 years; I find there's not enough common ground to have anything except friendship past the 5-8 year mark.

I seem to attract older women. The largest gap I had was 6 1/2 years. She's 31 and I'm 25. She was 25 when I was 18, when we met. We don't 'date' anymore but she left a large positive impact on me. Anyway, I think I will not go no further than 6 years..but it really depends.

Still a bad idea if you actually KNEW she was 17.

You believe 'legal' in New Zealand is 16 years old?

As for age ... 6 up, 3 down. Since I'm 20 though, the 'down' side will probably go up as I get older. Unfortunately, a vast majority of the girls that I meet around campus are too into the "I'm the center of the universe" attitude, and the ones that are mature, intelligent, and appeal to me on both mental and physical levels are either already taken or aren't dating.

Then again, I live in a city with a 1million population, so there really ain't that much choice.

Age of consent varies from country to country, so yes, I do believe it. In Mexico it's as low as 15 in some regions. But this cat I quoted lives in the US (if his country of choosing is correct) so why would he think it's OK to ask out a 17 year old girl when he was 22?

Actually, in most states in the US, the age of consent "varies" depending on how much older the adult is than the minor. In Utah, for instance, if the minor is 17, the adult can be up to 9 years older (26). If the minor is 16, the adult can be up to 5 years older (21), and if the minor is 15, the adult can be 3 years older (18).

Supposedly. They'll still try to nail you with a misdemeanor charge if the girl or her parents come after you legally, but no felony charges ever.

Because I didn't particularly care about sex. I just wanted to actually date a girl and she seemed nice at the time. Course the whole situation was made worse by the fact that she thought I was 30 and she told a blabbermouth about it.

Wow, you are jumping to some serious conclusions here. Cutting off all women who are more than 3 years older than you because of the reasons above is ridiculous. Not to mention that in your 30's the differences in experience become less significant as the gap widens. And, yes, I will admit there can be some sensitivity about getting older, but most of the women I know don't make it the number one topic or issue in their lives. You deal with it and move on.



And, Deni, women over 34 are "old broads"? You can fuck right off, sir.


To answer the question, I have dated, and will be dating, someone significantly younger. That's as far as I'm willing to open that can-o-worms though.

Yeah. Sorry, but you're old. Alice is old. That old broad who used to come around here and forum mom people, Julia? Old. I'm 24. You people have a decade on me. I've no interest in dating middle aged women. I'm sorry that upsets people.

http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/2795/31565006vc9.jpg

^5

One thing I don't get it the whole sensitivity thing towards age in women over 30.

Why be sensitive about age?

I look forward to the day that I can have wrinkles, gray hair, and scars from my youth. It signifies a certain wisdom in life and experience, and it's something I think a lot of women overlook.

Trying to maintain a certain youthfulness beyond your years indicates - to me, anyways - that you're more interested in being attractive than going with the flow of life.

Being attractive can get you more of what you want regardless of of what it is. Beauty is not an entirely superficial thing. Being attractive certainly shows that you at least care about yourself, and not in a selfish way. Yes, people can sometimes be too selfish and display an overwrought amount of narcissism, but the majority of people who do try to make themselves look better are not the people who stop at every reflective surface and say, "damn, I'm hot."

Even if you're old and beautiful, age can still throw off a lot of people. Hell, I've had trouble dating men five years older than me. I can't imagine that a 20-year old and a 30-year old would have a lot in common. I think experience absolutely plays a huge role in determining compatibility. The larger the age difference, the less common experience you're going to have. How can a relationship like that work?

I've only really seriously dated two girls. One was 18 and I was 22.

The other relationship I was 24 and she was 22. For me I really haven't had much experience in terms of age barriers since I haven't really dated much. At a very young age I was ready to settle down and from my experieces from my first relationship I didn't really want to date anybody below the age of 20.

In essence age really doesn't matter that much to me, if I can find someone that I share great chemistry with that age is not going to mean a hell of a lot of difference unless there is like a large age gap such as anything over 7 years. I'm going on 28 now, and if I was single I would probably go out with someone between the ages of 21-35.

To be honest though, 17 and 22's really only a 5 year age gap. That's really not that massive a difference, so I guess the taboo is much rather that people are 'afraid' because the girl is 'young', and possibly 'innocent' and dangerous situations might arise.

I think it really depends on the mental maturity of the girl in question though and maybe it's just me, but I'm not one into social-casual-dating thing. I'd much prefer wait then hit off with someone that I could potentially see being with me when we're old and wrinkled. Meh.

You'll be slightly eww'ed though .. a friend of mine dated a guy that was something like 25 when we were year 10 .. which I think is the equivalent of freshmen High School (?). That was creepy.

A five year gap between 31 and 36 or even, like, 24 and 29 aren't that noticeable.

But between 17 and 22? Two totally different points in life. It's not because a girl/guy is considered "young" or "innocent" - it's because a seventeen year old is at a completely different maturity level than a twenty-two year old. Unless, of course, you're dealing with a particularly stunted 22 year old, which I have certainly seen.

I don't believe in this "mature for 16" shit. It sounds like a huge excuse to me. I can't imagine too many sixteen year olds in high school being as mature as a twenty-two year old, and I don't give a good goddamn what anyone else says.

Having worked with the teenaged weekend staff in a few jobs, I can safely say that I agree. It's just a huge gap in most cases. I have no problem working with people in that age group, but I just couldn't have a serious conversation with 'em, even when I was 22 myself.

Three years down, five or so up. I don't mind dating women who are older, but going beyond three years younger is just awkward as hell with my sister being that age. Nothing gets you some weird looks like bringing one of your sister's friends home haha

Heres how it works:

1.) Is She Of Legal Age To Fuck? If Answer Is Yes, Go To Number 2
2.) Do Her Tits Sag Yet? If Answer Is No, Go To Number 3
3.) Are You Sure You Can Stand Her Outside Of The Bedroom? If Answer Is Yes, Go To Number 4
4.) You Have Covered All Possibilities.

(The idea that people have an "age range" is nice... if you're trying to say you won't rape your friend's 11 year old sister. Otherwise, stop trying to be Dudley Doright by saying you have limitations and simply be Dudley Doherintheass by saying what you mean - "As long as its legal". This place is getting to be too moral intensive.)

@LeHah: I practice monogamy. The kind where you don't sleep with a girl unless you want to marry her, and stay married until you're dead. Personal choice, not being moral intensive or politically correct.



Hmm .. fair enough. I'll have to /nod to this one on the vast majority of the populace. But, from what I understand to be truth is that maturity is something arises out of life experiences, and while 90% of teenagers at that age are bloody drama queens, there were and are still quite a massive number left that are more 'mature' (I put that loosely) simply because of what life has thrown at them. This can be either/or broken families, poverty, lower social settings, illnesses, racial prejudice, etc. The world isn't a happy place really; I know.

This is just food for thought, so I'm deviating massively from topic at hand just 'cause I can. Thoughts?

I know someone that fits most all of these descriptions and they certainly weren't mature beyond their years. If anything they were less developed than many other people since their life had been so weird while growing up.

No, I agree with Midna. It's not unreasonable to be 25 and feel that 35 is too old for you. But a dude in his thirties saying women in their thirties are too sensitive about their age, and then says they're too old? Hilarious, Crash.

That's fair, maybe mature was the wrong word for it... She's smarter and more sane than the average 16 year old. Does that work?

So how old are you, exactly?

"Bad life experiences" doesn't really ever mean to me that a person is mature. I had some of those very early on. Doesn't mean I was mature at 18. It can help in the speediness of maturing, but it doesn't mean that some nasty shit in the past can make you "mature" at 18.

When I was 16, there were a couple of guys I considered getting into relationships with that were older than me. They all described me as "mature" for my age and you know what? They were all wrong. I still have some conversations saved from that time, and I was incredibly immature. But guess what? So were they.

When you're thinking of getting involved with someone that is still a teenager (or possibly even in her early twenties) I can see a large age gap being a problem. I'm 19 and definitely not mature enough to date someone in his mid-twenties.

When I was 19 I was getting attention from a 35 year old guy from church and I was attracted to him. He was in the military and he had an R-1 motorcycle. When I was 20 I was attracted to a 33 year old, he was athletic and I liked that. When I was a freshman in high school, I dated a senior, guess I've always liked the older guys. Zephyrin, my husband, is the only guy I've dated younger than me and we are only three months apart. Guess this really doesn't help, but I wanted to put in my 2 cents. :)

I only date 65+



I'm all about retirement checks.

QFFT. I've been on BOTH sides of this - the younger one being told he's more mature, and the older one telling the girl she's more mature. In both cases it was because the older party was comparatively IMMATURE. Seriously. I don't care how well-put-together a younger girl may seem. Age always makes a difference that has no substitute. On the flipside, sometimes it's not a big enough difference.

That's better; I think I was sort of looking in the wrong direction when I went with "mature", so that's probably a better way of looking at it then I was.


I won't answer that just yet, since I'm sort of curious as to what age you think I might be.

Of course, I won't deny that I'm young, and there is far more in life that I have yet to see and understand. And of course, I agree to what you say about the speediness of maturity, but from my own life I have numerous examples to counter that.

A friend suffered from cancer, which kind of gave her a spin on life that was far more 'mature' then others. She took it in stride, and achieved well in both her social as well as academic life. Did things that would be considered 'mature', and approached her relationship and actions with others with a fair level of tenderness.

Another was from a family that wasn't so well off. Even with donations and charity from church, they struggled. She opted to leave school and work hours that would've killed most of us to get her siblings through school. Did all the things that was required to get her family through life and never grunted a single complaint.

I know countless stories of people around me that have suffered, lost, and gone through periods of their lives where they had nothing to rely on, and survived and came out the other side a 'mature' person, if the phrase is apt. I'm not doubting the vast majority of teenagers are immature and crazy, but having worked with and heard stories of so many kids I can't help but say something when generalizations are thrown around.

Now I've just deviated off the topic so much it ain't funny ^^"

Your perspective sounds like a young one.

It sounds to me like some have called you "mature," despite your young age, and you're defending the idea that youthfulness doesn't go hand in hand with immaturity.

Who's to say I'm not one of these people?

Everyone can bring up shitty stuff that's happened to them in the past. It's a sane person who takes those bad experiences and heals after time. Not a mature one.

"Maturity" is not something you get through bad experiences at a young age. While you can cite good examples of people growing up more quickly through bad experience, I can cite examples of people who took their pain and never grew up because of their experiences. Bad things happen to a lot of people, fair or unfair, justified or not. That doesn't mean that every person who had a shitty childhood is mature.

Bad experience does not equate to automatic maturity. Bad experiences can develop character, instill a sense of morality, and teach a person.

It is. And funnily enough, I actually haven't any body call me mature. Philosophical, maybe, but never mature (you'd have to know me in RL to understand that one).


Awesome conclusion.

But, with that said, I do also have to point out we may have different ideas of what maturity is. From what I can read out, you're from a western society, while mine is Asian. There are different culture influences working at a deeper level, so we may have perceptions based on separate ideologies concerned, especially when various religious and theological doctrines are ingrained within. Of course, there's also the fact that I'm Christian, which in itself might say something.


But anyway, don't mind me blathering my mouth away. It's half 4am, and I should really be asleep :P

O, christ on a stick. Dragging in the religion to explain the definition of "maturity?" Sigh.

Where's Denicalis.

We're talking about modern society, civilized people, and dating within a certain age gap. Not about the philosophy of child-fucking 'cause the church needed more followers in the old days. Be real.

Stop being a cunt, sass.

I'm pretty sure I have a valid point, RR.

EDIT Eh, nevermind

That's not monogamy, buddy. That's celibacy... And celibacy can kill you.

That's right. Your NUTS WILL EXPLODE.

Agreed his Christian point is pretty stupid, but I don't see the problem with the rest of his post. Also, I imagine he isn't Catholic, as your child-fucking comment would seem to suggest.

We're talking about dating within a certain age range. Not about philosophy of civilizations and customs.

And I wasn't making a Catholic-exclusive statement. Religion generally has a pro-reproduction stance on their followers, in order to up the number of people following the path of that particular religion.

Some religions allow for the marriage of underage children to an adult. That is, in my book, "child-fucking." Not that I was accusing the guy of doing this at all - or even being a part of a religion that condones this behavior - but that religion really shouldn't be a part of this thought process at all, not to mention the topic at hand.

It's amazing how my stupidity from 5 years ago sparked such a debate by accident... Here's something that I found particularly odd. Alot of people found out that I asked that girl out and even knowing what our ages were, no one seemed to think there was anything wrong with it. I thought for sure everyone was going to think I was a creep after that.

So you're saying that people from eastern, latino, black, native american, and any other group you can think of have the same exact pressures and interpretations of what "mature" mean as WASPy New England?

vs.




I also imagine "child-fucking" was more acceptable in the old days because people didn't live as long. I don't imagine many women would have been able to bear kids into their mid/late 30s, so if they were going to pump out enough babies to help work on the farm they needed to get started pretty darned young (of course, the irony is how now girls are starting puberty younger than back then).

This maturity discussion is stupid and poorly placed.

First off, yes, teenagers can be significantly more mature than their contemporaries through merit of personality, the rigors of a shitty childhood, or the drive of their educations.

But learning the valuable skill of delayed gratification doesn't make you ahead of the curve in other areas. By this I mean; how is having a savings account going to help you develop a Boyfriend Bullshit Detector (BBD)? How is being well-read going to tell you what career you'll build for yourself? That's what I mean by being misplaced. Just because a kid can pass as an adult in certain situations doesn't make them dateable to adults. Don't be pissed off at that.

But feel free to continue the debate re: old decrepit people telling kids that they're kids; kids replying 'nuh-uh'

Are you saying that my ideas of "maturity" are centered from "WASPy" New England?

I'm pretty sure I used the dictionary for my definition. Maybe it's me?

No, you're right. But it's still endorsed by many religions. Hell, out here in "WASPy" New England, I had a friend who was Hindu who got married off at the ripe age of 15. She had to drop out of high school for that marriage.

My point, however, remains that religion has no place in a conversation about "maturity." While some cultures may not all be on the same page as to what "maturity" means, there is a general standard.

And I can't think of a better place for the standard than in a conversation regarding dating and what each person considers a good "age gap" therein.

Age / 2 + 7

Christ on a stick.

Yay, I can date 17-year-olds!

Well, in what may be a vain attempt to get this thread back on track, my own range would be about 4-6 years either way. I'm 28 (soon to be 29) and a 22 year old woman is about as young as I can go. And they'd have to be a mature 22, at that. I could see myself dating a somewhat older woman, though - I just wonder how loudly her biological clock would be ticking, given that I want to be a bit more settled before entretianing the possibility of becoming a parent. So there it is.

So you're saying some white college guy on the internet is able to make statements about WASPs from New England?

(See, I can play ball and sound like a conceited asshole too - but I'm not on staff, so its not tolerated.)

Thank you.


I've dated women much older than myself, they still melt and giggle like women my own age when you know what you're doing. Doesn't matter. Might if I was going to get serious or get married, but for dating? Nah.

I didn't even think it was legal to drop out of high school when you're that young. Yeah, I know some states allow marriages at ridiculessly young ages, but I thought most of them forced you to stay in school till you're a certain age.

Hey, no need to get prissy about my religious views. It's not like I'm yakking my mouth off about God or something, merely a passive statement (albeit stupid in your eyes) that might have an effect on thought. That is, unless from what I read your hate for Christians.


I didn't drag in religion to explain maturity, more as an added possible element to an already complicated question. Choose and discard at your whim.

Definition: Monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple.

I'm sure I'm sticking pretty close to that one.



edit: screw that wall-of-text. It started to look more and more like my paper for class. New question: what's too old? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?

You're misreading the definition, mate. Monogamy is only fucking the person you're dating. Not only ever fucking one person all the way until you're married. It means you don't cheat in relationships, not that you wait until marriage. So you're actually using it wrong, the word you want is celibacy, not monogamy. I date girl A, I fuck girl A. I break up with girl A. I date girl B, I fuck girl B, I break up with girl B. I date girl C, I fuck girl C, I break up with girl C. I've been monogamous with all of them. See the difference?

Now, you all know I'd love to just wade in here swinging with ethnographic content about maturity and concepts of the young bride phenomenon, but it's really sort of out of place in this argument. The question at hand is about how old or young a person must be for you to date. Not whether it's acceptable or decent or even if it's remotely rational. Take a deep breath people, you're arguing morality and religion in a thread about not wanting to fuck cougars.

P.S.

Stop throwing around terms like psychological and social. They hint at a definite definition, which you aren't using at all here. You're just flailing to make a point, and it isn't working.

Cougars. Seriously. Let's move on.

Well, thats the problem with religious people. Everything you say or have a thought on is based on your religious beliefs and everyone else perceives it that way.

Like Bruce Hornsby said "Thats just the way it is".

Ah, right. My fault then.


Well. Shit.

Actually that doesn't sound normal at all. It sounds like you are a repressed square. Please seek help.

Two people as boring as you and your girl (must be to like you) are most likely going to have a successful, turmoil-free relationship no matter what the age difference.

Really that bad, huh?

Pretty much. Two praying mantises trapped in the same jar won't fight if they're already dead.

It's not exactly as if I have no interests ... I do go snowboarding, I'm in a band, regularly attend tactical paintball games .. and various other crap.

Ugh ... sounds like I'm placing myself in a love column advert.

Where did you use the definition out of the dictionary?

You know, come to think of it, has anyone actually defined what "maturity" actually is? I mean, I understand how one can become "more mature," but how do you actually decide when someone is "mature enough?" If you ask someone that's 70 years old how mature someone should be before X do you really think it'll be the same answer as someone that's 30?


But, see, if someone's religion gives them strength and helps them do whatever a 'mature' person does, then shouldn't their religion be pertinent to their level of maturity?

Maybe maturity is like how only those that understand how wise they aren't are truly wise.

I'm a white college guy from the North East that grew up in a town where him being half-jew made him one of the most diverse students in his graduating class of 750. I think I have experience living with a bunch of WASPs.


crimsonsabre, some people just don't mesh with the more laid back lifestyle.

I didn't....? I define "maturity" in a general sense much like the dictionary (which doesn't particularly take into account cultural diversities and all that shit), especially in the context of this thread. C'mon. Now you're just arguing for arguments sake.

Chances are that 18 year olds are less mature than 25 year olds. Chances are. I mean, I am sure we can agree there, can't we?

Religion has no place in this thread at all. Why do you insist on talking about it, RR. Is it just because you know I am atheist? Or maybe you're doing it just because I'm me. Who knows.

It seems silly of you, though.

But what do you know about New Englanders. (Red Sox fans alone can explain a lot about us. ^_^)

WHAT?
http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/7096/32968835eu1.jpg

http://doglotion.com/sites/default/f..._1.preview.jpg

COUGARS

Move. the. fuck. on.

Deni, this thread was not originally about cougars. Crash is 32 years old for fuck's sake. No cougar would be interested in him because he's too damn old. And before you go there, not all women who wind up dating a younger guy are cougars.

I play video games, attend weekly pub crawls, kill kittens for sport, steal wheelchairs from senior citizens and I'm the Mexican ambassador to our local chapter of the KKK... Still doesn't explain why you think "not fucking" is the definition of monogamy.

Look, Midna, just because you don't like the term doesn't make it true. You, my dear, are a cougar. Wear the badge with pride. I smoke pot. I don't get offended when people call me a pothead.

Midna's on the prowl

also do cougars rape and pillage? you should look into it midna it's pretty sweet

I wonder what it's like when two people of similar age regard each other as too old. I should pitch this idea for a sitcom! twist: they're both black gays.

HAHA. I KNEW that all single nerds played World of Warcraft!

Well, I'm feeling mighty confident now!

It wouldn't be a very interesting sitcom. The two protagonists would barely interact. He'd sit in the corner diner all morning and moan about dem crazy broads. She'd stay at her apartment and feed her nineteen cats.

:tpg:

Anyway, fuck this noise, underneath all this bickering lie two very simple truths:

1. Legal age + hotness = "dateable" material.
2. If you disagree with the above, you're either old, a prude, a woman, or too self-righteous to admit that you would shove your happy stick into a hot female even if she didn't have the brains or maturity to be someone you'd want to spend any more time around than is absolutely necessary.

You're right, Deni. From now on I am going to embrace my "cougarness", wearing short skirts, cleavage baring tops, and as much makeup as can stick to my face. I'll go to school next week with an improved attitude and see how many of the guys on campus I can round up.

You're next, sweetheart.

Crash, I think it's pretty obvious I don't think you're old. My point was that this thread wasn't started to argue about cougars since from what I understand you are out of range age-wise to be cougar prey.

I am having a laugh that you chose that one thing I said to respond to and ignored my first comment. Are you feeling a little sensitive about being referred to as old, Crash? =P

PIXPLZ~

That's my girl.

I've gone to a bank, I guess that means I know what every Jew in the world is like.

I've gone to the ghetto, I guess thats all there is to black people.

I've read your posts on GFF, its a safe assumption theres nothing more to you than chestbeating. :rolleyes:

how u doin :shade:

I want to know what virgin propped this post. Might as well come clean now, or else I'll just ask blah to tell me.

I don't think you have to be a virgin to prop a post by Ayos. On the other hand, I think you do have to be a total numbskull.

For the past 8 months I've been dating someone who is 10 years older than I am. I didn't know this until we'd been dating for awhile. Even knowing the age difference it still feels natural. I'm only 23, she's 33 (34 at the end of march). I think that it's quite possible that you find someone younger, even considerably younger, who has qualities that are enduring and that has maybe matured past the stages of insecurity you speak of.

When I think about it, it's really no wonder she and I get along, aside from both having unusual childhood experiences, we both have similar goals, responsibilities in our daily lives and interests. She owns her own business and still goes to school, I'm in the process erecting a corporate shell in order to legitimize the business I've started ( I hope to be done with this once I am discharged from the military) and I plan on returning to college with a renewed vigor.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can't always assume that because of someone's age they will lack the same experience and maturity that you've gained in a slightly longer period of time. Then again, the early thirties age group seems to be the best dating pool around, when it comes to single women.

Also, you might be surprised, some women seem to keep up their appearances very nicely. I honestly couldn't tell my girlfriend was the age she is, even after dating her for several weeks. That is, until she started reminiscing about her "college days" and mentioned going to see The Cars live several times, at a time when I would've been just barely school aged.

I detest the term "cougar." I checked it out on urbandictionary and just as I always thought, a cougar is quite a different animal than a MILF. Apparently, cougars are called cougars because they are constantly on the prowl for unsuspecting younger men. An older woman who happens to end up going out with a younger man is not necessarily a cougar, Deni.

I seem to find myself more attracted to younger men. The person I've been seeing on and off for the last six months is...quite a bit younger. I have no issues with dating someone ten or even fifteen years younger (or older) than me. As long as you're both adults, why does age matter at all?

Yes because it's totally a good idea to date someone you can hardly stand just because you want to have sex with them. Oh wait one of my friends did that and is getting divorced because his psycho wife cheated on him.

Dating someone for sex and marrying them for sex are two COMPLETELY different things.

Sorry, I forget that most people don't think like I do. I personally don't want to date anyone if right off the bat, I know I couldn't stand being around them in the long run. I can't understand the mindset of dating someone for sex and then dumping them when you can't stand them anymore. I don't like using people like that, maybe I'm too nice.

I suggest finding smarter friends; their obvious stupidity will eventually rub off on you.

Next time I will make the quotation marks much bigger so that you get the idea. Let me spell it out for you.

"Dateable" = hot enough to sleep with. Sometimes, you must go on at least one date in order to sleep with a woman. Hence the term dateable.
Relationship material = someone you'd want to spend time around, get to know, establish a connection with, maybe eventually marry.

Sometimes, the two come together and make something wonderful! Sometimes. Most of the time you just fool yourself into thinking that they have, and end up sad and lonely and divorced. Someone told me that once.

The term dating doesn't really mean too much.

Then again, you haven't had a girlfriend yet either so I dunno man. :\

oh jesus christ just stop talking

'relationship material' = 'let's have babies!'
'dateable' = 'I like you enough to spend time with you, talk to you about shit, and fuck you'
'fuckable' = WHAT YOU WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT

you of all people have no right to get butthurt about people misusing words

Frank, come'on dude you're like posting your face everywhere.

That's the point, wasteofspace.

Frank I think you're fuckable. :(

So, what's the point of posting his face everywhere?

And the two people who came running back to defend the cougar concept are the two middle-aged broads who are both dating young men. I'm sorry, you've disproved my theory... how?

I've never really had a set age range. Arbitrary age limits just seem silly to me (besides, of course, legality). The oldest person I dated was 8 and a half years older than me. The youngest was a year and a half younger.

More important than age, I think, is the sort of space you're in at that point in your life. If I were looking, I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone younger than me because they were younger, but more because they'd probably be still in a college mentality, and I've moved beyond that at this point. Hell, there are people older than me still in that mentality, and I would eliminate them for that reason as well.

As far as the upper limit goes...I've never been opposed to the idea of dating someone older, even significantly. As long as they're still reasonably attractive and able, I don't see the problem. But then I've not ever been in that sort of May-December relationship, so I don't know how it actually works out.

All that said, I've always had the best luck with someone right around my age.

"What's the point of this movie? All they do is spray each other with seltzer and attempt to poke each other in the eye."

I tried to post something but all my non-sewers posts get auto-deleted. Conspiracy.

Yeah, but see, thats funny.

Do you think that if either of you had been aware of the 10 year age difference before dating, would it have hindered things at all?

I hate to bring this back up, but it's kind of interesting. People where questioning the fact that I asked out a girl that I thought was 17. Well I didn't know this, but apparently in Michigan(Where I live), the age of consent is 16.

Age of Consent only applies at that age if you yourself are 17 or 18. Otherwise, you have to wait until shes 18 to sleep with her.

That may be the case in some states, but from what I've read just to see if you're right... that's not how it works here. I did a google search and everything I found basicly said the age of consent here is 16 with no restrictions. The age gap thing only applies if someone 13-15 has sex. I actually find it kind of odd and at this point it doesn't really matter to me anymore.

I only even brought it up because one of my friends told me that it was 16 here and I don't think most people who live here even realize it.

It all just depends on how much we have in common, if we get along well, and if he matches or even surpasses my level of maturity. I recently accepted the idea of dating someone younger than me, and I don't think it's as undesirable as I once thought. 3-5 years younger than me is too young at this point, but that preference may change in the future. The oldest person who invited me out was 7 years older, and he honestly acted like he was only 2 years older than me or so.

I don't really act negatively if someone close to me dates another person who is too young or old unless I can clearly see that the person has other motives. That's when I usually step in and gently question my friend or family member's decision to date the person who is either too young/old. Mostly too old.

Since this entire thread boiled down into some maturity debate I figured that I'd add my two cents.

I myself don't subscribe to the 'age = maturity' point of view. I'm not really the same person I was 5 months ago (prior to me moving). I believe age might be a factor in the maturity equation but not the definite answer.

I also believe (now) that certain factors also add in to the maturity equation. As, in 4-5 months, I've grown more as a person than I probably have in 22 years.

As for my age limit? Legal to dead (and then some, rawr baby).

And as for he whole cougar thing, Midna and Alice are both cougars on the prowl for younger men but unable to realize or even own up to it. Deni had the best analogy.

Just as older men will always want younger girls, older women will also want to get with younger guys.
Maturity? Bah. Money? Sif. MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS? You're kidding yourself.

It's all to do with wanting to feel sexy and fuckable, which is a trait that both genders are guilty of.

So Sugar Daddies, Cougars, MILFs, Toy Boys and Candy Girls unite.
And if in the event there is some genuine chemistry and it is some sort of true love, BOO-FUCKIN-YAH.
Everyone will still call you names.

Get over it, stop denying it.

I'm willing to date anyone up to the age of about 35, but I'd have to admit that I couldn't see any relationship with a 10+ year age difference going anywhere. Ideally, I'd like to marry someone right around my age so we can grow old together.

But as for just dating? I wouldn't mind going 35/36. I probably wouldn't cross the 40 year old barrier though.

Hey, nothing like a younger girl to keep you active and alert. if I could afford to go out with a 18 year old girl I would but socialy you do run into problems.

Her friends might not feel comfortable doing certain things arround you, parties, mall shopping etc.

Your family might be upset when you don't produce grandchildren because shes not ready. She might never go to college to help pay off that house you just put money down on. Now if your well off I would suggest you try younger girls, theres a lot more to them than empty sex.


You can shape, train and mold that perfect mate.

Maybe you're joking. I hope so.

Because that is the most ignorant thing I've ever fucking heard.

Jesus christ this entire thread is just a bullet train to creepy town

I think any mate I shaped, trained and molded would fair about as well as my ant farm. I never sent for my supply of ants for my ant farm.

I am the worst person in the world. :(

Convict 27B-661 agrees with you and will meet you in the hydroponics lab tonight at 3 am to mold your asshole into his pleasure canal!

4 years in both directions. Any further is stretching and awkward me thinks.

When I first met my current girlfriend, I thought she was mature for her age, but I'm starting to wonder about this. (I'm 18, she's 15 and we've been "together" for over a year, but things haven't been great lately as a result. Now that I've finished high school I feel like I've "moved on", but she's not in the same zone as me. To further compound issues, her dad is an asshat and she refuses to stand up to him. (Another story for another thread, probably)

I don't think I'll date quite this young again. As for older, I'd potentially date up to about 23-24.

So... you're basically dating a child, her dad doesn't like it, and you think the problem is... his?

That's balls.

Everybody, this dude's got balls. HEFTY ones.

I'll say, he bumped a thread that got killed by boring fucking squares in the first place.

GARGANTUAN BALLS.

Nobody objected when I hit on a fourteen year old.

Oh, but I was in Canada then, wasn't I?

Age of consent, motherfucker.

Also, I'm not objecting to his fucking a 15 year old. I'm objecting to him fucking a 15 year old and expecting her dad to be cool with it.

Yes, well, this is the kind of pseudo-edgy crap we've come to expect from you. Its like seeing the same episode of Loonatics Unleashed over and over and over and over.

Alright chief, I'll bite. It was an inside joke, though I'll admit a poor one. Hell, calling it pseudo-edgy is probably giving it too much credit. So look at that, you're right! I hope you didn't make a mess when you read that.

But I gotta ask... Ever been to central Canada, LeHah? You ought to check it out, you might even be able to find a girl to put her lips on that tiny dick this tough-guy shtick is undoubtedly covering up.

It doesn't take much to point out you were in Canada for that very reason? See, with no effort, I can be internet clever like you.

And again, this is typical crap from you. I mean, I come off as a tough guy on the internet because I talk that game in real life too. You can ask anyone we've both met. On the other hand, you come off as a third-rate impersonator of Bill Murray in Where The Buffalo Roam. Maybe its life experience or being a little older but anyone worth two-bits can see your act isn't even a good one, let alone an honest one.

I'm not siding with Frank, because I think you're both making idiotic arguments, but you really need to stop insisting that you're the very same person in real life as you project on these forums, LeHah. First of all, that doesn't justify a thing. Second, do you honestly expect any of us to believe that this guy freely pontificates his condescending bullshit to a soul while commanding any sort of respect?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y16...ce/GFFNE22.jpg

You both look silly putting on this act. It impresses no one, makes for a less agreeable place for the rest of us, and, most of all, is just plain childish. We have a perfectly ripe subject for brazen, unrestrained ridicule right here in this very thread and you're ruining it with your prissy little slap-fight. It's enough already.

So, the guy who claims I'm getting in a slap fight is the guy who's posting a picture of me about sixty seconds after I woke up in the morning. Thats like punching someone to prove how non-violent you are.

Further, why is it that you have a problem with me poking that guy in the eye - but everyone agrees to gangbang on him in chat, with exactly the same things I brought up here? You can't have it both ways, kiddo.

I'll half-agree with this. Frank is something of a black/white arguement. There ARE people who handjob this guy's ego, though. They shouldn't, you don't feed the animals and you don't enable the stupid - but people do it anyway, no matter who tells them what.

Point one: It was a last ditch attempt to deflate your ego. No go.

Point two: I am not chat.

Point three: Always obey the rule of threes.

I was going to type something long and expository but decided it was in everyone's best interest if I didn't. So heres a picture of Anna Paquin's fat ass.

http://beautifulassettes.files.wordp...paquin0005.jpg

I'm so disappointed by the diffusion LeHah offered for this stupid argument. SADFACE.

I was going to jump all over that Fireman guy until I read what Deni said, and I got upset because he beat me to the punch. AS USUAL.

But yea, "her dad was upset with it" is a hilarious argument. I wonder WHY he'd be upset! And damn that girl for not standing up to her father!

Can I also comment on how great it is that he's "moved on" now that's he's graduated high school? Like once you exit high school and turn 18, you're suddenly a LOT MORE MATURE. God, fuck those 15 year old babies. They're so yesterday once you graduate.

Well, to be fair, being a college guy going out with a highschooler is a bit more of a social stigma than being a senior going out with a freshman in high school.

Why are you disappointed I posted a picture of a woman's fat ass? :(

I'm not entirely sure I agree with this. While, yeah, the age thing is a huge gap due to social circles - but I do know we heckled the shit out of a friend for dating a Freshman our senior year in high school. (Yes, okay, so she looked like a dog. Thats not the point.)

That is to say - college buddies would high five you for picking up a 17 year old because she likes "older, more mature men" while your friends would snicker and jab you in the ribs for taking out a freshman while in high school.

Maybe your college friends were considerably more creepy than mine.

My friends were too busy screaming about Walter Truett Anderson while drunk to care about picking up the prom queen.

I would have to second that. Although graduating high school doesn't turn anyone into the mature adult they want to be, there is - socially - a GIANT difference between being in high school and dating someone in high school and being in community college and dating a junior.

Oh, and actually, her dad REALLY COULD be a crazy prick. If he's just angry she's dating an 18 year old, it's KIND OF understandable. But really, eighteen and fifteen aren't that different. If he was twenty-seven, it'd be laughable that he is amazed at a father's reaction, but this couple was dating when they were both minors. It's not exactly bizarre.

Really, everyone, do you just LOOK for the worst possible scenario so you can boast about how TRULY worldly you are?

If you think a father isn't going to be pissed because an 18 year old senior is fucking his 15 year old baby girl, you clearly haven't dated much, Hachi boy.

I should set a few things straight here...
As much as I'd like to be, I'm not sleeping with this girl. She's not ready and I'm cool with that.
She hasn't actually told her parents that we're dating, for fear of her father's wrath. (He hits her and shit sometimes)
Her parents are "conservative Christians". =/

One one hand I wish she'd be honest about the nature of things and just tell them, on the other, I'm concerned for her safety (and perhaps my own) if they really do get pissy.
Either way, we've kept it from them this long (13 months) so at this point I guess it could go on indefinitely.

My sister, at sixteen, is dating an eighteen year old, and my parents don't care too much.

I can see some parents being a little annoyed with the situation. But the kid (I think) isn't some drug addict and is (I assume) going to school. As a father, you get a little annoyed; you don't bring the Wrath of God down on him.

I always dated my age or older, for the record. *insert obnoxious smilies*

That's curious. Is it her ((fifteen year old)) personality you're interested in then?

Ever consider that they may have valid reasons for their concern?

If I had been 15 dating an 18 year old, my family probably would have been a bit concerned as well. And my family isn't "conservative Christian" nor did they hit me.
So you started dating her when she was 14. Just out of the gates.

Wow. I wonder how much you can enjoy a 14 year old when you're 17-18 and have no sexual intentions.

Looks like you're trying to attack my character there and impose your own morals on me, Sass.

Sure, things aren't perfect (what relationship is?) but we're good together. I'm more than happy to give the relationship the time and patience that it deserves. We share a lot of interests and enjoy each others' company. If I didn't like her personality, why would I stand by her for this long?
Of course there are sexual thoughts on my mind- I won't deny that, but I'm plenty capable of maintaining self-discipline. This is a non-issue.

Yes, I suppose that when an adult is observed dating a 14-year old, we may indeed make judgments on their character.

You are perceptive to notice this!

We might say, for example, that the person's character is "pathetic" or "deeply infantile" or "lacking in any basic self-respect".

We might say these things, by way of attacking that person's character.

No one is imposing their morals on you, you arrogant priss. This is common sense. I mean, I understand that with a lot of you kids it's not as common as one might think but a guy can dream, can't he?

I don't think you're reading this properly, chief. See, you're are 18 years old and are dating a girl who is 15. You started dating her when you were 17 and she was 14. You admitted that she's not "ready" for... well, anything really. Do you know what this means? You are dating a child. A CHILD. You are an ADULT.

ADULT 8===D Child

Do you see the difference? I mean, even my students in elementary school have their little hormonal crushes on each other but their classmates are all the same age and they're supposed to grow up together. Perhaps when they get to high school and are 14, 15, 16, etc. they can start to date each other as well and that'll be fine because they're all of comparable age. When you start robbing cradles and get uppity because daddy doesn't like it, I think the issue might be lying a bit deeper than we think.

Of course I'm attacking your character. It's not a very good one.

Interests like hanging out at the mall, lip gloss, and Nickelodeon?

I'm sure they have long, interesting discussions about the most recent episodes of DeGrassi!

If my brother is any indication, it's The Secret Life of the American Teeanger, actually.

What's funny is if we got someone in TQP complaining about how their parents are being too restrictive or something and they turn out to be 17 and still in high school, people wouldn't be calling them an adult.

I don't think this kid's an adult. Hell, even if he -was- fucking the 15 year old, I wouldn't have any moral qualms with it. Most 15 year olds I know have the ability to figure out sex. I just think it's funny to expect her pappy to be okay with it.

You're not a very good judge of character if you've come to such a conclusion after only a few forum posts.

and no. I hardly need to justify myself to people on the internet I don't know, but to put your cynical mind to rest, we like to play music together (she plays viola, I play cello), we both like sci-fi and anime, etc
Some of her other interests include archery, history and geology. Quite obviously a far cry from most 15 year old girls. I can always have an interesting conversation with her. The only doubts I'm having regarding her maturity are about her fear of her parents, other than that, things are just fine.

I entered into this thread with the intention of contributing to the discussion and possibly receiving some advice regarding dealing with her parents, not the intention of being attacked. It's served as a reminder to why I don't post often. :rolleyes:
If you're all quite done, I'll be taking my leave from the thread.

Sass may say shes not a good judge of character - but here you are saying "I don't have to validate myself to you but I will anyway".

Probably not. It's hard to answer that question. Even knowing now, it really doesn't make things that awkward, because I don't notice the difference.

Actually, I think the only thing about the relationship that btohers me is that she's "religious." I don't know if that's even the word to use.

Wow, this reply is like 5 months late.

"I hardly need to justify myself to you! BUT LET ME DO IT ANYWAYS."

I don't particularly care about the interests you share. I am sure she is "very mature for her age" and you will be together for "a long time."

That is, of course, until her parents find out!

O you poor, poor thing. You wanted advice for your relationship with a fifteen year old and you didn't get it.

Here's the schtick: Her Pops isn't going to be cool with it. She's going to avoid telling him. And you're going to continue to pressure her to "stand up" to her father, despite her being essentially a child (in the eyes of the law and family).

You're all kinds of hilarious.

While you can't get in trouble unless you try to hook your nosepickers into her gorilla slit, the parents can certainly tell the police whats going on between you and an underaged girl and then put up some kind of legal restriction.

Age is just a number. Although I would hardly settle with a man proportionally as old as my father (22 years or more in difference), I think older men are usually more mature.

My boyfriend is 19 years older than me. He quickly got over this issue; we love each other and that'S all that matters. However, my mom still feels uneasy that her son-in-law-to-be is 8 years younger that she is...

I see you lack a great deal of life experience, young padawan.

HOW old are you?

Too old to still believe this crap.

I think it all comes down to who you're attracted to. If you have stuff in common great but if not then it probably won't work out or the opposite will happen and you'll end up with someone who can show you a fun time and have lots of adventures with. Now that I'm getting older though, I'm looking for more of a relationship. I wouldn't mind dating around or something kinda causual if I like the person but my family is always moving around alot and it'd be nice to find someone to come home to instead of more ppl you meet who you like and just end up leaving all the time ya know. It gets old.

If the guy's older I don't mind it but not too much older than me. Maybe 3 or 4 at the most.

Yeah, no kidding. I'm curious as to how bad of a cradle-robbing kiddie fiddler your "boyfriend" really is.

25. It was 2 years ago...

I never tried to hide it :p

let me live the illusion while I stil can :p

25 year old was/is dating a 44 year old.

He's old enough to be your father.

So. How much "allowance" does he give you weekly?

I'm not interested in your retarded "age is not a factor" argument, here. You clearly have some issues if you're dating someone old enough to be your father.

Using your logic, dating anyone 10-12 years older could theoritically be one's father

When I met him, I thought he was 35, he thought I was 28. When we figured ou age, there was a period of uneasiness

Either you just condoned pedophilia or you're worse at simple arithmetic than a kindergarten student with autism. For your sake, I hope it's the latter.

But I doubt it.

Age is a factor for some and a non factor for others. Although some say age does not matter it does when you look at the long term picture.

My mother was 23 when i was born and my dad 67 so yea it does matter. My dad died when i was 24 years old which is hard for any one to deal with. I won't have a long term relationship with any girl younger or older than 10 years despite getting real person with a few youngers girls in my late 20s.


I think girls who go for older guys typicaly have had bad relationships with their fathers. I think fat men ( especialy fat american men) who import women from 3rd countries have issues with their self esteem thus go for women who will pump their ego and OH cater to their fat laziness and inability to get a girl here in the states.

I think boys who go for older women tend to have had bad relationships with their mothers. There was a peroid of time I had a thing for older women and yes I had a very bad relationship with my mother. When i was 12 I watched her kill 2 people and shoot two others..

So to wrap this up age is a factor always, its just ignored and shunned by some while they pretend its not a factor.

Additional Spam:


I don't know that the older guy could be a pedo as long as the girl was over 18 legaly.


However if she was in her mid 20s + I don't know that I would consider him a pedo at that point.

For someone I find a constant bore, that was one hell of a funny.

Janus is a male.

And yes, it's legal.

The question is: what does it say about the person?

That's not exactly my logic, but thanks anyhow. And it's "theoretically," for future reference.

19 years is a big difference. I can't possibly imagine what a 44 year old would share in common with a 25 year old, but it's the same old argument. There's something psychologically askew if you ask me.

Double :frankgonk:

Fuck me sideways but that is just.. wrong in all angles. Shively, is that a joke? Do you even have proper medical attention if it were real? Shrink maybe?

And no, I know of some "boys" who go for older women, and they have perfectly normal mother-son relations with their mothers.

hey man I'm not saying always here, just sometimes. I know some younger dudes like older chicks to show them the way, that was most certainly my view point however I got to take into consideration my mother and fathers age difference and the fact my mother had a bad relationship with her father.

With my expericence in life and what i went thru I can only relate that with my viewpoints on age difference, its most certainly not the know all tell all but where I'm comming from.

I'm very sure some younger chicks like older guys who seem more mature, settled and done fooling arround versus the guys their own age who are not done planting their man seed in every hole possible.

As far as getting mental health help I pride my self on never having to talk to any one about anything in the mental health field, I've always worked my way out of any issue / problem I face. I am however meeting with the victims of my mothers crime after almost 20 years of no contact with any one in the area where my mother did her crim.

I plan to visit them on the way to my move to cali and have been in touch with them for about 4 months now. Its my way of dealing with my feelings and it helps.

Getting back and staying on topic I would say that it does tell a lot about a person when you have some older man with a young chick and yes it seems a little dirty but to be honest if it works for them than who am I to talk smack about it? I

learned that lesson when I used to debate gay anal sex. Now granted this is way different than a romp in some mans poop hole, I still think that if the girl is over 18 it should be ok, sure the man may be a perv and feel the need to control a young impressionable mind and yea it does piss me off seeing old sick pervs import 3rd world girls because their fat old asses can't attract a girl thats not in dire need of a better life but I can only hate it so far... After all it was that old man who humped a 23 year old women that produced me, with out that I wouldent be here blessing this forum with my presence.


The blessing the forum part was sarcasm, please don't take that part serious.

...I assure you, we didnt. Much like everything you say.

Well thats great because I understand my reputation ( for you old timers from 2001-2005ish ) remember me arguing politics, let me say this much, theres a reason why last time I looked in 06 in the politics forum they had something about No debating homosexuality etc.. However I am pretty open in person and on the forum which is nothing more than an extension of who we all are.


While personaly I get sick at gold diggers and the crusty old men they marry, thats not always the case. My mother had more money than my dad which later in life lead me to believe her attraction to my rather old father was in part due to her bad relationship to her father ( my grandpa ) While that is different than the OPs question with regards to how far we will go

it might play some part when addressing an under age girl ( under 18) and lets say a guy in his 20-30's Typicaly I would say she might have a bad relationship with her father OR she thinks it will help her mature faster?

While the guy just gets a fresh piece of ass that no other guy has enjoyed yet ( some guys get off on the whole virgin thing ) Personaly I'd prefer a girl I do not have to teach how to have sex as I prefer a women who can give as much as she takes with out guidence.

The best piece of advice is if you are serious about her and are not going to take advantage of a younger more impressionable mind that more power to you.

Someone crashes a car and you kind of feel bad.

Someone backs the car up and purposely hits the wall dead-on a second time, you stop to watch and wonder why in the fuck they're doing that.

Someone backs up the car and smashes it repeatedly into the same wall over and over, you just walk away.

Which one are YOU, Shively? The reactions you're getting should answer that for you.

What ever one it is I could care less dude. I already made my point on this thread.


Your analogy did not make sense either, I'm going to say what ever I am going to say regardless of reactions, outbursts etc. Just not going to break any rules doing it.

Shively, your straightforward persona and uncompromising ideals have earned my respect. I think we can do business together. Here's my card:

Well, you have me there.

Just don't get bent out of shape because you gave everyone here good reason to deride you unerringly until the end of time.

thanks for your worries Freud, but I don't think i've live a trauma strong enough to intentionally look for much older men. As I said, I thought he was 35, which was a ''reasonnable'' difference

So ... you look for them unintentionally?

Yes, I see.

I don't worry about you. I don't give a shit about you.

I just kind of laugh at you. You're too dumb to recognize what's going on, and you're old enough to give it thought.

One of these statements is wrong.

Can you, the viewers at home, see which one it is?

Well, I mean, age is a "technicality." Obviously it shouldn't actually mean anything, but it's pretty clear that stupidity can touch anyone of any age!

I think we can agree on the idea that intelligence is what some people are "touched" with, while the sweeping majority of people are made and remain stupid.

I know that; I'M playing with you:cool:

O, I am sure it was all a part of your big plan.

This was just a social experiment for my sociology class!!

Spiffy card there we can do luch sometime.

Can't deride me I typicaly bend ( and with bad habbit ) conversations to fit in what I would like to say. Might I suggest you give up your stuck up pseudo intellectual attitude or take it to someone you can upset. I gave up getting pissy over any forum back in 02ish when I was banned the first time. Thanks :)

Enough, Shively. You're not helping yourself, here. You don't have to break the rules for everyone to get tired of you and throw your ass out for being a worthless irritant.

You've already managed to make a few game forums almost universally loathe you, so why pick up that ball and run with it here? This isn't you being crazy and strong in your opinions, this is you coming off like a lack-wit child throwing his toys around.

Take a step back, take a deep breath, and shut the fuck up for a while.

Few game forums? Yea one forum ffshrine and I left there when their admin asked me for nude pics of my self... Fine though I already said what I wanted here..

http://www.moviecritic.com.au/images...-fortress1.jpg

PREPARE FOR THE TUNING

SHIVELY REQUIRES STREETS F THROUGH L TO BE CLOSED

PREPARE THE DEVICE

Just my luck, I run into at least 4 people who are on the rag lol this is just too funny...


http://thumbnails9.imagebam.com/1024/c8824410238482.gif


I swear I'm the fat dude in that pic with regards to this thread... have it your way....

The cycle of ovulation can be easily influenced by the presence of somebody as fat as the fucking moon yes

Banned from this forum the first time?

O golly, that would be marvelous.

Together again - for the first time!

Well this thread has gone back to being stagnet with out me so lets just jump back on track here. Speaking of older guys with way younger girls why not address Hugh Hefner owner of Playboy magazine. That old goat has 3 girlfriends all 30 something while he is 82. Is that considered sick or make him seem like a pedophile? The girls are in their early 30s or late 20s and its not like they have the mind of an underage girl..


I'm sure he pays them to be his girlfriend but then again no one paid anna nicole, she was just banking on getting a piece of the will.

Correction. It had quieted down without you and now you brought it back to life like a pseudo-intellectual Messiah resurrecting armies of rotting corpses.

Bitch, you must be trippin'! Hugh Hefner is my personal hero. Don't you EVER disrespect that man in my presence or I will smack the taste out of your ass so hard your kids will inherit the bruises.

WHAT? Marrying a rich fart to live off him?

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/6...anstalktw0.jpg
INCONCEIVABLE!

Yes Marrying a rich fart to live off him, what else you think they are going to do at 80 something years old, I bet the guy shoots dust. I'm not dissing him, ( other than the shooting dust part ) he has worked hard all his life to build wealth and deserves what ever he can buy / rent with it ( including snatch ) Oh and I guess you did not see the " ? " when I asked does that make him a pedophile.. Its ok next time Ill make it bigger like this " ? "



Additional Shit:


Stop living

The best part about this post is the fact I can picture you delivering it to some chump on the street--verbatim--perfectly.