Friends with Benefits... Yay or Nay?
 

Has anyone ever had any good or bad experiences with this type of relationship?

Only good can come of it.

FACT.

The only time bad comes from a no-strings-attached fuck-o-rama is when the woman gets attached and starts to get all emotional. And then she tells all your friends, making you look like a complete shit-bag, and by then it's too late to re-cast her despite how pissed you are at her for being such a drama-slut.

Other than that, Skills is teh correct

I've never heard of a bad experience, and I haven't had any bad one's either. But if she does get all emotional about it... I guess that's when it goes bad...

Damn, what percentage of people go through relationships like these at least once in their life?

Joseph

First off, stop signing your posts. It makes you look stupid.

Second, no-strings attached relationships work great, so long as they're exactly that. And actually, in my experience, a lot of times it's the guy, not the girl, who gets jealous and possessive and fucks everything up. The second you feel the slightest inkling of emotional attachment, or even just jealousy, you have to tell her. It's part of the deal. So long as everyone is constantly aware of just what the status of the relationship is, it'll never be a problem.

These relationships, even more than traditional ones, demand open communication.

It's definitely usually the guy. The few times I've been in this experience *I'm* the one who fucked it up. =D

I had a friend with benefits. I ended up knocking her up. :(

Listen to Denicalis. The man speaks truth.

Are you trying to tell me that an actress turned out to be a massive drama queen? You must be joking, because that is simply inconceivable.

I kind of get the feeling that little Joey here would probably do well to avoid this kind of relationship. He's kind of got that naive kid aura about him.

russ, he's only interested for ten years down the road.

Incidentally, joe, stop listening to the seasoned pros around here: these kind of situations, like Sassafrass said, require a lot of open communication. They also require such a large amount of maturity levels on both/all sides (taking other types of "beneficial" relationships into account) that if you're considering one as a kid, it's time to drop the idea. At this point, just have random one-night-stands, instead.

Sassafrass hasn't posted in this thread, you putz. You clearly mean me, and you'd do well never to confuse the two of us again.

random one night stands, friends with benefits, arent they the same thing?

No, not at all.

Not even remotely, mate. One night stands are generally with a non-friend. A friend with benefits is regular sex with no relationship, usually with, you know, a friend.

The yay or nay really depends on you and the person you are with, I had a relationship like this years ago, I had a crush on him and told him that I really liked him, so it went from on and off.

Now that I am happly taken he and I are still good friends and he now has a girlfriend too.

Both are large, loud and obnoxious, bearded, and have sex with people they met on the internet.

Easy to get them confused, I guess. I know I've made the mistake more than once.

So do you think that a friends with benefits relationship stems from two people with a strong sexual attraction for each other but two different lives (in their focus)?

I think friends with benefits stems from two people who want to cum on each other but don't want to date. Whether because they know it won't work, or because they're not looking to be tied down.

Look, this isn't rocket science.

lol @ deep explanations for wanting sex.

There are drama queens, and then there's this girl. I've worked with plenty of actresses who keep the drama to a minimum, or keep it to themselves. This girl drags EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHE KNOWS into it. It's uncanny, you'd have to see it to believe it. Even in our film/acting circles, this girls is widely-regarded for being abnormally fucked in the head.

So far I have only had one successful friend with benefits, and one failed. I quickly learned that you need to lay down the ground rules very openly, nothing assumed. There are no emotions... this is strictly sexual... etc. Not only that, you have to keep remind them. But it's so worth it...

Been there, done that. First I started to get attached her and then I just got completely bored with her. I think shes started to get attached to me though which is tough since I totally do not want any sort of relationship right now.

I'd advise against it unless you're really desperate.

Ditched her for the yaoi? :tpg:

It can be good. As long as it isnt your ex your doing it with. Because when I did it...we got back together lmao.

I've only ever seen it end badly... but then a girl will probably only say something if it does end badly.

I do think it also depends on how emtionally attatched you need to be to have good sex. I mean...If its bad sex whats the point?

Friends with Benefits is a bad idea. I won't deny it, but I'll say that only bad experiences came off of it. They were mistakes in the past that I'll keep buried in the past.:eagletear:

I've seen it happen with a few of my friends. I personally haven't had any experiences with it. I probably would of had opportunities to do that kind of thing with a few people, but I'm one of those guys that would probably get attached if ever involved with a friends with benefits type of situation.

To avoid all the drama, if I can't love you then I'm not going to have sex with you; plain and simple.

As people have said before it takes a lot of maturity and a lot of open communication to have this kind of experience. If you don't have at least those two things then there could be a lot of drama headed your way.

It's not just something to be cautious about, here. This is really one of those things that you should be absolutely certain that there will be no feelings involved. For example, if both parties are already emotionally connected with someone else, and all four+ people understand that there is nothing emotional, and purely sexual. That might work. The problem is that even with total maturity and understanding an unwanted surge of emotional attachment might/will come up eventually, and that's when it's got to be put down.
But you both are so similar, so I forgive myself.

I would agree completely. Not loving a person and just having sex with no emotions is very awkward. There's just a gap.:dover:

Ok, first, stop using stupid smilies in every post. It severely undermines any point you're trying to make.

And no, having sex with no emotions is NOT very awkward. It's very awkward if you need emotions for sex, or if one person is emotionally invested and the other isn't. You're talking in bad movie terms. Love = sex. No love = no sex. That's not the real world. To consenting adults can have many wonderful orgasms and not need to make a federal case out of it. Your morals are not the world's morals. So no, it's not awkward. It's awkward for YOU.

Personally, I'd never feel comfortable having a friend with benefits, but that's just my own morals. As for what I think of it, well it's perfectly fine. Naturally, like anything, it can be easily fucked up if people are fuckwits about it. I've seen enough of these relationships end badly simply because one of the sides decided to take it too seriously and get jealous.

In fact, just recently, a couple in my circle of friends stopped talking to each other because of it. The girl decided she didn't wanna share the guy with other girls anymore, and cut him off. He got pissed off about it, and like a fucktard, started spreading rumours about the girl. Basically, it was a reenactment of a typical highschool. That's an example of it turning bad.

But now take for example another friend of mine. He'll fuck anyone. In fact, he has a supply of t-shirts that say 'I fucked *insert name*' and he hands them out to any girl he fucks. Him and one of his friends have been fuck buddies for quite awhile. Anytime he doesn't pick up a girl at the bar, he calls her up and she comes over, or he goes over there and they do it. All it is, is sex. In a group setting, nothing is awkward between the two, and they're rather open about state of their friendship. Neither one applies any kind of emotions or meaning to what they're doing. It's just pleasure. lol.

Anyhow. I'm getting long winded here. As long as the sex is merely sex, then yay.

They're good in my experience. I did however have one that ended strangely. The girl just called me up one night and said "I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm using you", and promptly hung up!

I didn't really question it as I wasn't particularly desperate, and we're still really good friends to this day, but I do sometimes wish I had said something because it was really good sex, and as far as being used goes, frankly I didn't mind!

If your not looking for a serious relationship, than its fine. But when either of you get over-emotional or jealous than it can screw things up.

From personal experience good does come from this but it usually only lasts for a short period of time. Sooner or later one of the party members becomes attached to the other person.

This usually complicates everything..

Mine's doing good so far, but I think she's getting a bit attached. She's started sending me these text messages...

TIME TO RE-ASSESS SITUATION.

Well...There is a problem with friends with benefits. Each person could have multiple sex with many other people b/c neither feeling committed to each other. And with all the oozing of pelvic goo beware the mighty gonosyphilherpalaids.

http://www.courier-journal.com/blogs...red-702455.jpg

Yeah, sex with lots of people. No way to take precautions there.

Whoops sorry I forgot a condom is like holy barrier and no one will get a STD while wearing one. My-bad.

Internet sarcasm. Ha ha.

Condoms are pretty fucking good at stopping the transmission of STDs (something like 99.9%?). Of course, what really helps is the fact that I, unlike you, don't put it in dirty fucking skanks.

Yes, because let's avoid anything with a .1% risk involved for fear that something bad could possibly (very unlikely) happen. Best get back into lying in bed and staring at your ceiling in horror.

I just had more satisfying orgasms from porn and my hand than I did with her. She was pretty ugly, a bad influence and she was a board in bed.

I figured I was better off without her around. I was right.

Failed in establishing ground rules or at least making sure that there was an understanding of these ground rules. The whole thing went Kaput and ended up like some guilt trip.