Why not to kill yourself
 

I have no personality, im boring
im fat
im in a foreign country where i meant to learn a language i dont know
i was just recently dumped by the love of my life becuase "im not a person"


What do I have to live for?

Making a new life for yourself.

Yea, only you have the ability to change and make a better life for you. Killing yourself is pretty absolute, and you would regret it.

Suicidal feelings now? Kind of ironic, given your nick...!

You have a super ego, so USE IT!

superego refers to Sigmund froids id, ego, and superego model.

this is the story...

I've been in a case of unrequited love with this girl for the past few years. We would hang out every day, acted very affectionate towards each other, but remained friends...we had what I'd like to call, a "romantic" friendship. So on the side i've been trying to solve the puzzle at what i could have done to have gotten her to fall in love with me, or crush on me. Her best friend, who knew her inside out and had an iq of like 147, trained me. He told me things i did wrong, said he was pretty sure she liked me but wouldn't admit it yet, etc. around Christmas he says its not going to work, i flip out, go online and curse her out (very immature, i know, at the time i guess i was a little dumb). She "dissociates" all her feelings from me, so it's like she doesn't even know me, so for the next three month i beg for her forgiveness. I couldn't do it all day of course, so i would spend a lot of time with me friends, and to be honest had a great time. I started going to the gym, eating healthy....i was pretty stress free for the first time in awhile.

Then I took acid. My friends were all big druggies, not me so much, but one night i decided to take acid, i was going to use the drug to think about things in a way i normally couldn't. it was a terrible night, i sat in the corner of the room and just stared, i don't remember what i thought about and i don't remember much after that either. I know it was all about me and all negative. Something happened to me after I did acid, or so I believed, because for the first time in my life I was falling asleep at night without thinking about anything, people like my brother and my friends would tell me "you're jacked", which was something I never got before. I was also very quiet around my friends, something im usually not. I don't know how this happened, but the girl I liked for so long came back to me, not only that, but wanted to go out with me( i didn't know yet). She said she thought about me all the time blah blah, etc. I didn't really think about her that much and wasn't obsessed with her like I've been for years. When I heard stuff like this I told her straight out, ok, we can chill once in awhile if we are going to be friends again. And she was like...I can't have that. I asked her why not and she said she just wouldn't be able to deal with it. Little by little things happened, and one day I just said, kiss me, and she did. Then we went out for like 3 months. We did a lot of making out, but nothing more, and every day it seemed like she got a little farther away from me. About two months ago I knew it was coming to an end..she wouldn't even touch me, she barely talked to me, i was consumed. I told her " I know what's happening, let's just be friends, I can't take this pain". And she was like, I can't just go back to being friends. 5 days later she dumps me and has a hickey on her neck, that she got from a girl. She hid it from me too...Then she tells me things like, I was more of a person back then and she didn't trust me. So about a week after getting my heart, confidence, and mind, ripped apart by this girl, I'm on the plane headed to France, to learn French and study abroad with my dad's side of the family...who I've never really known or felt comfortable around. On the same note, I can't escape my mind, my insecurity, and the feeling that I was once an amazing person...amazing enough to make this girl really like me...because of a drug that temporarily altered my personality. Now I'm in France, can't talk to anyone, and if I were, what would it be about, myself? it's all I think about, I feel like my mind is a prison and I can't escape. I'd die to spend my day either not thinking, or thinking about something interesting, not questioning myself and my past.

-So did acid really change my personality, to allow this girl to like me?
-Did she like me because she came out of dissociation, felt closer to me than ever, and was rejected?
-Was I calm and relaxed because for the first time in years I wasn't thinking about her or what to do, and was just chilling with my friends and eating healthy with exercise? or was it acids doing?

I feel like my personality changed, became amazing because of this drug, amazing enough for her to go out with me and for me to be calm and get jacked, and then slowly the acid effect wore off and i became fat again and she didn't like me as much(i also wasn't working out and was eating junk food because i spent all my time with her). I fucking feel like acid made me into the person i ALWAYS wanted to be, then took it away...and if that's the case, living the way I used to again is way too painful.

So was it acid? or lack of this girl + friends + a healthy lifestyle. They both happened at the same time so i don't know.

It wasn't acid. You stopped being a fat, slovenly piece of shit so she liked you. Also, how old are you, like, 16? A girl isn't worth this crap. Grow up and get on with your life.

Darn. Do acid, get chicks...why hasn't anyone ever told me aboutt this?!

Because even that wouldn't help.

I recommend reading this and growing a pair of these.

Doesn't fit my ideal standard? He's asking about killing himself over a girl. If that doesn't deserve a slap upside the head and a grow the fuck up, nothing does. Anyone who's been through anything even remotely resembling the real world knows that. Certain behaviours aren't acceptable and need to be corrected before someone hurts someone else with their bullshit.

I'm sorry you're too simplistic to understand that this sort of behaviour is infantile and stupid, and nothing but teen angst. But maybe you're around the same age bracket and haven't yet learned that Romeo and Juliet wasn't really about love, and that crying because your 3 month girlfriend left you, and considering killing yourself over it, is fucking childish. Grow the fuck up.

Well yeah it's a teenage relationship, I'm only 18. The thing is, what makes you so sure it wasn't acid? That's my biggest problem, I feel like acid made me into an amazing person, and now I'm nothing at all.

and what's bothering me isn't necessarily that I'm not with her anymore...the relationship wasn't that good anyway. it's more of how paranoid about my own personality I've become, BECAUSE she dumped me.

Because I've taken acid a fair amount in my time, and I promise you, acid didn't get you into the gym. It might make you think in a different way (read some Huxley if you want some information on it) but it isn't going to make you motivated to change your life like that.

And seriously, get back in the gym and distance yourself from an obviously parasitic woman. You'll feel better. Hell, the current depression might even be your body telling you it wants the hormonal release of working out regularly again.


And Karasu, if you're the shining example of human, I'll pass. Not fond of your personal brand of idiocy, thanks.

When youre older..dont date anyone under 25. Or while you're in college. Dating in college is nothing but distraction, and if you're an engineering major, pre-med, etc..it can murder your GPA.:cool:

You want your points touched on? I don't cater to people who are obviously begging for pity. The entry screams about it. You know who doesn't bother asking why they should stay alive? People actually going to kill themselves. So shut the fuck up. And you want to know why I'm acting like I'm right? Because I am. Keep playing soft touch if you want, but your bullshit doesn't impress anyone.

That's what I'm saying!! What if acid made me think differently...not just during the trip but after too, and that appealed to this girl. But then the long term effects slowly started wearing off and I went back to "friend" mode because of that.

And I'm telling you, that isn't how it works. Acid doesn't change your personality. And even if it did, then she clearly doesn't like -you- so you should move the fuck on. You know what I see in your situation? Whenever you really want her, she loses interest. When did she come around? When you weren't paying attention to her and had an actual life. Then when you went back to worshiping the ground she walks on, she got bored with you and split. Do the math.

No. You're just using something as a crutch and that's going to hurt you far more than it could ever help you.

WHAT?!

Alright, I didn't even read your little sob story. I skipped right down to this question, and I can't believe you actually asked it. "Durr, is drugs good?" Psycadelic drugs can be amusing, for a time. But a good lifestyle, better friends, and a great girl are definitly the equation that equal success. Though I get the feeling that instead of answering that for you, someone just needs to smack some sense into you.

Honestly, 18? You haven't even started your life yet, why the hell would you end it? There's too much angst in here for me, get over it, put down the chips, and move on with your life

Edit: Karasou, you know, you've come in here to specifically target Deni while at the same time completely ignore the question asked by our poor little boy here. I'd say you're the one trolling, so get the fuck out already. Asshole.

I love you.

That's what I wanted to believe but couldn't....I had this terrible feeling like acid did something to me that lasted beyond the trip.

No, the acid had nothing to do with it. What you did was move on with your life and stop obsessing. The girl probably doesn't like that sort of attention, or she's just the masochistic type who doesn't like the boys who like her back. There are tons of them. I really think you should just take some time, grieve, and get over the chick. She clearly wants something else, so it's time for you to move on.

Well, the point of acid really is to alter psychological function. With that in mind, its a lot easier to become aware of how it may affect you. I would advise you against taking it in the future as it doesn't seem to be helping you.

Acid doesn't ruin peoples lives, neither does alcohol, cannabis, ecstasy or any of the other myriad of drugs. Addiction is what ruins peoples live.

Totally depends on the person and their willpower. Saying as a fact that it will ruin your life is dumb, saying that it CAN is much more accurate. Plenty of people know the risks and can deal with it just fine. This person obviously isn't one of them though if he thinks it made him a better person just for taking it.

(Nice to see so many people on the same page anyway.)

I don't think Smelnick is talking about your case Deni. Acid is not for everyone. You know that. Only the strong willed and psychologically balanced need apply.

So that's like.. what? 1% of the world's population?

Damn 99%, ruining it for the rest of us.

Bogart was in the 1%, you fucking communist.

Gonzo probably took enough LSD to "feed" a few hundred communes.

No, of course it isn't. It's not about drugs in the same way that the NRA argues that guns don't kill people. They say it's people that kill people. Maybe this is true, but the guns aren't fucking helping. [/Izzard]

So maybe, just maybe, the presence of the drugs in this equation isn't exactly doing him much benefit. He thought he was amazing while on acid, but compared to that experience, now he feels he's nothing. Obviously, the potential to be awesome was in there and the acid brought it out, but the schnook is too wrapped up in his own drama to realize this. So, yes, the drug argument has some relevance; instead of relying upon a crutch and whining when life isn't perfect, he should think about what elements were brought out by the acid, then maybe try to capture some of that while sober.

I'm not saying that will be simple, but it's worth an earnest, valid attempt before resorting to suicide.

Fuck, a valid attempt before resorting to suicide would be to get on all kinds of drugs. That would be simple, and while an argument on his drug use may have relevance, the simple statement of "drugs r bad, ur stoopid" does not. Continuing with a line of rhetoric that merely revolves around that statement does nothing for Ego, or his lack thereof.

Now, if he had gone and shut me down like you just did I wouldn't have a problem.

Edit: Pun intended. Yeah, shoot me.

Yeah, I agree that it's far too late for the "drugs are bad, mmmkay?" approach.

I don't endore the rampant use of many drugs as a solution to Ego's problems, only because each experiment will inevitably lead back to the crash and he'll be in the same boat he's in right now, only the feeling of inferiority will likely be reinforced.

All in all, losing the girlfriend is enough of a catalyst to make anyone feel pretty low, and I suspect that's really the crux of his problem. But the drug use is distorting his vision and his ability to perceive the problems for what they are. That he's had a comparitive high to which he holds himself as the standard for excellence, he's established goals that are unattainable without the drugs. On one hand, that awesome person was in there all along, so the acid was merely an enabler. On the other hand, that person might be a gross exaggeration and an unhealthy ideal. None of us can make that call.

Honestly, a path of moderation is probably the best. Avoiding LSD would be smart, but partaking in marijuana now and then, to relax and feel better about things, that might actually bring him out of his funk. Drugs aren't the answer, but neither is total abstinence and self-flagellation. We're talking about building some esteem, here, and anything that helps is worth consideration.

This thread has made me realize that we humor confused children far too much.
Thinking back to my own angst periods, I think I would have loved nothing more than a firm male figure telling me to shut the fuck up.

The better question is "why kill yourself?" if you ask me.Think about it, killing yourself means putting an end to the finite life you have. Unless the Buddhists are right, and reincarnation is the way of the universe, this is the only time you will ever get to spend on Earth. If the Christians are right, you get to spend all eternity in an afterlife, but that's not the same as being here on Earth. You might even end up in the bad place, because suicide is a mortal sin according to Christian dogma.

While you are here there are always possibilities, things you can do and things you can experience. To kill yourself is to put an end to all those possibilities. Don't do it. You've got all the time in the world to be dead. You've only got a few decades (barring accidents) to be alive. Even if what you choose to do with your life is to take every kind of drug, that's something that only the living can do.

1st of all , how old are you? Life doesn't end at the end of a relationship. Stop being an emo kid. Self Loathing will get you no where fast. Trust been there and I got the same advise I just told you. Stop being Emo.

If you are in another country... Think of it. You get an opportunity that most people don't ever dream of getting. Most dream of getting of this country and seeing the world. You are doing that. There you got 1 up over half of the world population.

So what if you're fat? Do something about it. Workout, diet, stick to it and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Stop being self-centered... killing yourself.. Geez, think of the people that would suffer from you dying. I had a friend that kill himself and I felt at fault for it for years. Nearly killed myself for it b/c I was so guilt ridden for not noticing earlier. Just because you die, it doesn't mean that people are gonna go "So it goes."(If anyone get that reference, awesome) You might think that people give a rats ass but trust me. People do, even though they might not show it.

Also, if you are Buddhist, they look frown upon suicide from my understanding.

Denicalis> Much props for saying what you said. Babying self pity gets you nowhere. When I was in my emo stage, nothing got more out of it more then someone telling me to "grow the fuck up. and to get over myself"

And if you wanna try a drug.. Fuck Acid. Try Xstacy! At least you'll be happy for once in your life and not give a rats ass. At least you won't be emo, right?

Of course. The point I was trying to illustrate is that you probably don't get a second shot at life. This is not a rehearsal. If reincarnation really does exist, I would expect someone who killed themselves to not get a great deal in their next life.

Oh shut up. Get off your high horse and laugh at language once in a while.

I look at it this way: a girl just told me that she doesn't like me an hour ago. I've had her on my mind for a while, and now I'm sad. Am I going to kill myself over it? God no. If not her, someone else, and I'm definitely not going to start altering my personality (or considering such) just to please someone else. Killing IS absolute, and I simply cannot ever see any reason why I would do this, even in a partial state of depression.

Deni's treatment is right on: a good old fashioned slap in the face, which is what most of these advice questions need.

I think it's more about who you do drugs with than what you do. That is to say, with the exception of the highly addictive drugs like crack, heroin, and their like.

I've met cool druggies before. They all seemed like pretty upstanding types, fun to joke around with and hang out. They mostly smoked pot, some dropped acid or took shrooms, but they didn't seem to let it affect their lives.
Then I met a few druggies at the bar and it was pretty dismal. Sure, most of them were "artists" so they have an excuse for being vagrants who can't do an ounce of real work, right? No but seriously, they were borderline pathetic. This one guy was wearing a raggy t-shirt he must have gotten from a thrift shop 7 years ago, with a giant wool thing covering his unkempt hair (that looked full of dandruff).

But honestly, it all depends on who you get high with and why you get high. Some people do it to enhance their life, while others do it to try and fill a void in their life.

Alright, ladies... Let's keep this on topic and try not to let your hard-on for Scrabble concoctions and each other ruin a semi well-meaning advice thread go to shit. Karasu and Elixir, you guys can get out now. If I see you in here without sound advice for the boy, I boot you both off this forum; end of story.

All I gotta say is this....

It's a girl - she dumped you, so fuck her. She's not worth a fuck. You had the willpower to lose weight and get in shape, so apply that same willpower to learn French and get on some decent looking French hoes.

The best way to forget old pussy is new pussy. You're 18 - you got a lot of living to do. If you honestly think that dumb bitch was the best thing that ever happened to you, take solace in the fact that YOU ARE WRONG.

In short: Get a new bitch. Fuck the shit out of her. Repeat until you find one you're comfortable fucking on a regular basis until death or divorce.

I can't possibly agree with NP more. Though, I believe our young intrepid hero has already stated he plans to do just this.

haha, oh wow, there's totally some new song material in there. xD

haha alright, after Denicalis' ass kicking and Night Phoenix's philosophy, I've decided to stop being a bitch. I realized that if theres ONE thing to live for, it's jerking off. I can't do that in hell. Things better than jerking off? well Night Phoenix explained that to me, but jerking off will do just fine.

btw, Denicalis, wtf does your name mean? I'm only curious because I love you for talking the most sense in this post. Like...your a fucking dick. An absolute cockhole. But your smart and contribute more than a lot of people, making it acceptable.

You do what you gotta do to grieve, player. However, If a year down the line you're still doing the same thing then I think it'd be safe to say that you have a problem; and not one solved by lubricants and/or homosexuality. <__<

http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/7LDIL7Ry.png

He's (North) American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.

It's latin. It has several translations, but the one I like is "purification through fire/trial."

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh, because it is strangely true. also, the fact that it means purification through fire, and the fact that he always tells me to die in a fire makes perfect sense.

Good job superego for dealing with this maturely. Remember, nothing is so horrible that you can't just suck it up and keep going.

Man, all LSD does is show you to yourself. That's why your first trip was so nasty, because you were low on the food chain and knew it and, for the first time, you got to examine the causes in great detail. You figured out what you had to do, saw that it had to be done, so you went out and started being the person you wanted to be.

So you're this awesome new person, who is really just the same old person with more confidence, and suddenly this chick, whom you probably discovered in a fit of acid frenzy to be bad for you, decides that you're the cat's meow all of a sudden, and away you go back down the spiral into Otaku Territory.

Running the gauntlet of one's inner demons (Denicalis whut?) is something everyone should do at least once. Now that you've taken that first step, though, you should look at making those changes last. I hold LSD sacred because of this potential that it has to show the user to a deeper side of reality and a deeper side of self. However, if you keep going back to the well, my friend, eventually it will run dry.

If you want that intimate look into your own psyche that you got from LSD, I suggest you learn to meditate and start doing it somewhat regularly. If you can get into the habit of re-examining yourself often, you'll stand a much better chance of making the changes that you need to make in order to live the way you want.

And yeah, no chick is worth your life, bro. I think it's dumb as hell to jump into a new relationship until you're comfortably over the previous one, but that's just my opinion, and nobody ever said you had to be in a relationship to get laid!

(Well, some people say that, but they are the ones that you don't try to have sex with. :P)

Well my confidence was boosted today. I went to my first class here in France, and I met this Mexican-French girl. We talked for like 10 minutes and she left to go take this test thing we were waiting for (to evaluate us). When she got out, she pulled me to side, took out this notepad, wrote down her number, and gave it me. I don't think it necessarily means she likes me, maybe she just wants me to hang out with her and her friends or something, but it was a nice confidence boost.