How do you ask out a girl...
 

...over the counter?

There's this real cute chick who works at the best bakery in town (this place is wodnerful even if she dind't work there) and yeah, she's really cute. I think we've met once before, a couple of years ago applying for some job togethor (neither of us got it) and we really clicked. Her name might've been rebecca but I'm not sure.

So yeah how the fuck do you ask someone out over the counter? this is a brave new setting. I pretty much do not see her out of her workplace.

I've been out of the dating scene for quite a while now, but if I were to try something like this, I'd at least get on a first-name basis with her first. Next time you spot her, just say "I've seen you a lot here, my name is ____. What's yours?"

It's better than "I saw your name on your tag, Rebecca. Let's go dating~" Or so I would think! Stay on a first-name basis, get chatty whenever you visit. A few visits after you have her name and she knows you a little, just ask her out. "Asking her out" sounds pretty vague, but there are only a few ways to do it in words :3

Ive tried a couple different ways and found there are two effective ones...

1.) Open with something like "Look, this is kind of weird but..."

Generally if you lead in with something like that they can brace themselves for the rest. Be brave because women don't like weak men.

2.) Get drunk

Beer muscles go a long way, kid, believe you me.

I don't know how kosher a drunk at a bakery would be. If the place is open all-night, then it's cool. Bakeries expect drunks after midnight anyway. Well, drunks and the occasional super-fan who wants the freshest stuff that's prepared for the early morning rush of donut and danish buying.

But yeah, being drunk to ask a girl out while she's at work might not fly so well.
Maybe one beer would work, but more than that and your potential to look like a douche bag increases exponentially.

No need for the liquid confidence... just stroll in there and tell her how it's going to be. Be confident, and maybe a little sarcastic. But definitely don't start with "Look, this is kind of weird but..." You're a guy and she's a girl, and you wanna ask her out. Why would that be kinda weird? It should be the most natural thing in the world.

If she gives you the "I have a boyfriend" bit, don't despair. It's merely a small hurdle.

I hate, hate, hate drunk guys. Not only would I say no to a date with someone who asked me out while drunk, I'd probably tell him off for good measure.

I do think the confidence thing is where it's at. There's nothing more attractive than confidence. Period.

Just walk up to her, and ask her out. If you can find out a little bit about her and use that as a way to start conversation. Just ask her out to lunch or dinner, maybe to a movie, something simple.

Being drunk will just get you thrown out and starting off with some pickup line or "this is kind of weird but..." probably isn't going to fly real well, depending on the girl.

Definitely. It's important to realize that what works for LeHah probably wouldn't work for anyone else.

Lehah also told me on AIM that If I tell her I like blueberry muffins and we fuck on the shitter then she'll be mine for life.
He's made similar connections between anal sex and marraige before invovling other women.
I really want Vestin's opinion on all of this.

I dunno, as someone who works behind a counter (diner/restaurant place), I'd think that if a guy customer started off with 'this is kinda weird but...', that would just make it something more to laugh about. Its hard to describe, but at least with a line like that in the front, it lets the girl behind the counter KNOW that you know you're going out on a limb, and its not terribly awkward afterwards. And I dont think that line takes away from the confidence factor at all, because you're asking out this girl you dont really know... thats confidence right there.

Granted, I've never been asked out at work, and I doubt it will happen any time soon.

But yeah, I'd say get to know her by showing up as a regular customer (not too often, thats just sketchy) and chatting with her. Maybe even ask if you know her from that job interview. It'd be a great starting topic.

Oh yeah, and the drunk thing? Not a chance in hell.

I remember last time when I was working part-time job in a restaurant, I received a little note from a frequent customer and a cute hair-clip with some crystal things on it. He just dropped in the note and the hair-clip in the morning to make it look like he made time for it even when he was busy and was on his way to work. Then I remember I was telling him how the boss wanted me to put my hair up while working there etc.

I thought that was kinda sweet. And I thought about it for a few days until he came back to the restaurant in the weekend. So when he asked me out to watch movie, it was easy.

Maybe you can think of something to give her, a token, something meaningful to give her, not extravagant, just something small. Try to talk to her to see what she likes or what she needs. I think girls like to have something (no matter how little) to hold on to, so when she sees the thing you give her, she remembers you. It makes you a little bit more special than the other customers.

I agree with what she says. I think the "This is weird, but..." line would be endearing and help break the ice a little. Sure girls want confidence, but not to the point of arrogance (which you guys are not careful enough about... Arrogance is a HUGE turn-off). Saying this line will show your human side a bit--it's kind of cute when a guy sees a girl he really likes and gets a little nervous--but at the same time, she's not gonna doubt that you're gutsy if you're asking her out over-the-counter.

That sounds unbearably cute joeymui and while I am impressed with this guy's move, that is just not a RABicle thing to do.

RAB, if you want to avoid being cutesy, you could always just tell her she's a fistworthy chick and you'd like to take her out for a double-fisted date.

In all seriousness, whatever you do, don't say something like, "We should hang out sometime." It's really awkward when you're not sure if you've been asked out or not. I like it much better when someone just comes right out and asks me for a date. That way there's no confusion.

YES. It's really frustrating too, if the girl likes you back and you say something ambivalent like that. I *hate* when I can't tell the difference between "friendly" and "interested." >_<.
Just try to be a 'regular' in the sense that you talk to her a lot, and once you're on a pretty friendly basis you can ask her out to lunch or coffee or something. Coffee might be the best first step, but what the hell do I know.

You guys seem to be talking fairly longterm in the asking out process. I was thinking of asking her out next weekish.

I have to do everything megaspeed since I leave town in two months.

How long of a day does she work? If its a pretty long ass time then why don't you offer to take her out for a bite or something like that, It'll make it WAY easier to break the ice than risk getting shot down...especially when there is a chance for lots of people to see it.

Yeah I havent been stalking her thoroughly enough yet to determine her working hours. I'm pretty sure she is there fulltime though, and I've noticed she it not there towards the end of the afternoon so I think she starts earlyish.
I mean, I visited Thursday at 2 and she was tehre. Tody at 4, not there.

Hell, if you've talked to her before and it seemed to gone off well why not try? Just mention it to her, see if she remembers. If she doesn't she'll, at the least, remember the job you were both applying for and you can work from there. THIS is the part that always gets me thinking before I act, but once you break that ice you're in. Unless she doesn't care for you in that sense, of course.

Why post on the board and ask for advice if you're leaving in two months? Bite the bullet (I'm a hypocrite, but I learn from my mistakes!). Say, "Hi, what's your name?" followed by "Are you free this weekend", "Would you like to have lunch with me sometime?" "Here is my number"... seriously, there are so many ways to ask a girl out! And remember to be nice and smile. Good luck.

I said "in the shitter" not "on the shitter"

But your version is infinitely more hysterical.

When I first read your post I imagined you fucking someone while in this huge toilet. Now every time I read one of your posts I'm going to think of that because it's such a hilarious mental image. :(

Christ sakes! The problem with her working at a bakery is this; everything i cn possibly buy is within arms reach from her, so I have mere seconds to chat. And there is the other big problem thatshe's like, not just working at the till but she spends a lot of time preparing food out the back. I mean yesterday when I went in I saw her making stuff out back.

Tomorrow, if she's in, I'll ask her out. I'm thinking of leading with the line "Hey, I know I don't know you that well but, would you like to go out some time?" And we'll see. Also I think if I order a coffee from them they make it up tehe behind the counter, which gives me precious added time. I should've done that todfay but I only got the idea today after some other customer ordered one.

Yeah, do it man. I wanna see two threads in this forum reach resolution. Just don't overanalyse/overthink things.

Over the counter? My favorite approach requires them to ask "is there anything else?" cause then I can respond "yeah: your phone number. Write it on the back of the receipt there." Or something to that effect. I don't like asking a girl on a date outright, I like to at least get her digits first.
But if she doesn't ask, I go for the next best thing - ask if she has email, she'll say yes, I say "Great, write it down for me... and go ahead and put your number down too" while she's writing it down.

But, since you're going right for the jugular as it were, I suggest being straightforward but laid back. As Omi-Cron said, don't overanalyse or overthink things. Just walk up, ask her out, set a time and a place, and be done with it. It helps to be uniquely funny and charming (whatever your definition of that may be) so you don't come off like every OTHER guy who might ask her out. I like insisting that we meet in a public place "so that I can run away if you're a psycho" ... but just do your own thing, man. Don't even wonder "what if she says no" ... just assume she'll say yes. No point in even trying, otherwise.

Haha good one Ayos. Yeah I was considering that "anything else?" one but I'd ruin it by laughing too hard at myself. About to drive down now. It's liek the whole world is against me though, went to have a quick shower, WATER IS CUTOFF. Dad even works for the water corp, thanks for the help dad!

(and I have slammed down one beer already, considering a second for the road, but I can hear sirens.)

KISS HER, YOU FOOL


User was banned for this post

GAH! FUCKING STONEWALLED
"oh sorry I have a boyfriend"

Fucking fucking I SHOULD'VE KNOWN. Seriously why woudl an intelligent, attractive 20 year old girl still be around in this fucking dump of a town without a reason to stay? GAH FUCK!

Gunna have to find this bastard and stab him or someshit. That'll learn him.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT GAMINGFORCE! ARGH!!!


(we had a bit of a chat after she turned me down, when I said I worked at a petrol station she commetned how she liked the smell of petrol…
Yeah I wasn't ready for that)

Additional Spam:
Time for another beer.

Aww, that sucks... I'm sorry. :\

Yet, I get worried that the longer I stay single, the longer all the "good ones" will be snatched up. IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING.

Don't worry about that blue. All the "good girls" get snatched up by "wankers" and "dickheads" pretty much exclusively.

Sorry man, that sucks. Though, I tend to blow off the whole "I have a boyfriend" thing, cause I've found that half the time, it's a weak excuse that girls use to see if I'm persistent. But that's only half the time, and only the girls around here (which, I might add, are crazier than the usual bunch.) My motto: stick around and show her how awesome you are, she might change her mind. If not, heck, not like you lost anything, right?

I'm sorry to hear that man. But try and keep in touch with her. This fucker, more than likely, won't be with her for the rest of her life. Does it seem like she'd be interested in you if she were single?

My dream is to one day see one of you guys score these broads and bring her BACK HERE to post. =o!

Yeah I'm not going to abandon this ship completely. Hell there's nothing else to do in this town till August than tune a woman's frequency.

Fuck facts though, although she never recognized me from our first meating, she did remember without promting when she learnt my name. And the otehr funny (AND AWESOME) bit to learn is that she lives like, 300metres from me. not on my street but one adjacent to it. That's cool.

And im not fussed about her not recognising me. I look totally fucking different now than what I did two years ago. People I went to high school with take a while to realise it's me these days.

A lot of our memories work in different ways. She didn't recognize you physically but simply mentioning your name brought it all back for her. And having her close to you can either be good or bad, depends on what sort of guy you are I guess.

http://members.westnet.com.au/rbelfo...es/licence.jpg
Top one is me January this year.
Bottom one is January 2005, I met her in May 05

RABicle...I feel your pain. I got the 'haha, I was up last night talking to my boyfriend' ...-_-

Perhaps the better approach would've been, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Take it as an experience. At least you know that asking out a girl isn't like climbing the Himalayas.

I prefer asking "are you single?" rather than "do you have a boyfriend?" because the first is just a straight question with a simple yes or no. The latter has all sorts of implications behind it - for most girls, anyway.

I wouldn't mind seeing it. For future reference.

And somehow your reply became irrelevant? Come on man!

If it makes you feel any better, she totally sounds like a glue sniffer.

Be happy she's taken. She COULD have said:

"I like the smell of petrol and I like to get HIGH on petrol ... wanna' get high on petrol with me sometime?"

What I wrote was for this specific situation, but I don't really think there is one set way to ask out a girl. Each situation and girl varies and you need to play it by ear. IMO it is always better to get to know the girl first though. She very well could have lied about the boyfriend because she doesn't know you and didn't want to hurt your feelings.

But again, the situation varies. For situations like this it is tough. It isn't like it was a bar and you could sit down at on a stool and strike up a conversation. She has customers to deal with and it would be kind of rude to do it when she has work to do. You'd have to wait until she would be alone with no one in the store and buy something and then strike up a convo. After a handful of visits, you go back and buy something and then talk for a bit and ask her if she'd like to go to a movie some time or something. She'd probably get the picture from the get-go if you go in there often to chat with her. She'd most likely know you liked her.

But ultimately, I don't think anyone on this board can give you universal advice on how to ask out the girl. Each situation is completely different, and you also have to get a read on the girl's personality and what might work best. Whatever you do though, just be yourself when you ask out a girl. Don't do something out of your character because then you'll have to start trying to be a different person just to fit what she wants and that is not something you want to do. Also, to prevent nervousness, just remember that logically there is nothing to really be nervous about. It isn't like you are doing high-risk brain surgery and if you mess up someone dies. There are a million girls out there and if the girl says no, then it is for the best anyway.

You know, I've known and loved one girl for about a year, but she has some boyfriend twenty miles away who's a year younger than her (in high school it matters). I've always wondered what she thought, and I was almost set off when she invited me to drop by her workplace...

Well, I'm still waiting.

tell her this.

we should wear matching jerseys, casue we make a great team!
but yours would look better cause your out of my legue!
jk

man just be your self and if thats not good enough, dont fret it wasnt ment to be. but just tell her shes cute and if she wanted to hang out or something. thats what i would do.