Religon in Dating
 

So I was talking to a friend today and she told me that she'd never date anyone that doesn't have the same religon/religous beliefs so this led me to wonder.

Would you or would you not date someone that has the same religous beliefs? does it not matter to you?

Me, personally, don't see the big deal. As long as its not one of those, as soon as we become serious you must believe in everything I do. I acknowledge there being a higher power(s) but I don't believe in the whole "if you don't do this you will die" type of stuff.

And don't turn this into a religous war. If you plan on doing that, don't. No one wants to hear it nor read it.

What the poll means
Would you date outside your religon?

Yes--
No--
Don't Care --

My cousin was suppose to come to United States for a visit this year, because his mom (my aunt) find his girlfriend to be unacceptable. Reason being? His girl friend was a none-Christian. There was talk that my cousin was suppose to come here just so that he could get away from her for a while.

Sometimes religion isn't the direct cause of problem within relationship, but what your friends, family, or parents has a preference. This might go the same also to ethnicity, language and nationality. However, it is pretty ridiculous situation in my cousins's case in my opinion. Although I think it all depending on how big a role that you want religion to play in your life, and the type of experience you want with the person that you spend time with.

This is actually a big part of my dating criteria, religion. I'm agnostic, at most Buddhist so it's a huge part that the guy has to go along the same lines as me. That's why I usually find it easier to date within my race and guys whose parents share the same background as my parents. That usually means religion-wise, they were raised roughly the same as me (no religion but some Buddhist undertones).

I guess if you want to say, religion is a big dealbreaker for me. A year or two ago I was going somewhere with a guy I met but when I found out he was a Christian, that pretty much ended it right then and there.

Let's say a bit about history. In the past, race X only marrys race X, but now it's a mix of races. So, I think those who thinks different religions cannot marry IMO have an older mindset. Not trying to be a racist, but I think I will only marry someone of my race, because of culture. In my opinion, marriage is not only affect two person. It's kind of fustrating if in-laws arguring because of cultures and religions.
Example in Singapore. The three majority races are Chinese, Indians and malay. Majority religions are Buddhist, Taoist, christians, muslims and some others. Imagine a Buddhist and a muslim married, they had different lifestyles and it's a little hard for them to live with each other.
Imagine this. A Hindu Indian marries a malay muslims .Hindus cannot eat beef while muslims cannot eat pork. If you are the Hindu husband/wife, you will surely not be happy if your muslim husband/wife eats beef after marriage and vice versa. And even if both argee not to eat beef AND pork. What about their relatives. Going to another relative house and see beef/pork canned food or in plates is a little unsuitable.
What about the religion of those couples after marriage? If one agrees to convert, their relatives/parents might not accept. And there are a lot of problems.
So, IMO, those people who thinks different races and different religions cannot marry each other are those with a little bit of traditional minded.
And this isn't the first time I heard about people breaking up because of religions matters.

Edit: Sorry. This thread is on dating, I went to talk about marriage.

oops, I accidentally voted 'no' ^_^;;... my bad

any-hoo, interesting this has been brought up... the relationship I'm in now is strangely contradictary when it comes to religion

My girlfriend is a non-denominational christian and I am an agnostic (starting to lean towards Paganism). I doubt her family would be very happy with my religious beliefs (or lack there-of) so we haven't brought it up just yet, but both of us are very supporting of each other's faith.

I would definitely date someone of the same religion as I am. I married someone of a different religion and it was hell for awhile. He constantly battled me about my beliefs and things. It was horrible. I never want to go through that again.

If you think it's tricky when you're dating, imagine how difficult it would be once you get married and have children. I'm not saying it couldn't work out, but I would imagine that if one person was Christian and the other Jewish or Buddhist or even Agnostic or Athiest, it would be a constant sticking point within the relationship, what with trying to come to an agreement on how to raise the children, whether or not to observe certain religious holidays, etc. I also think it would be very confusing for the children if mommy insisted on going to church, reading the bible, praying, etc. and daddy was always rolling his eyes or having nothing to do with it.

As far as my personal opinion goes, I am very traditional in that I believe the man should be the spiritual leader of his family.

Fuck that noise, man.

I could never, never date someone who has a hardon for their religion, whatever that may be. I ignore the whole lot of religion - I want it no where near my kids, my family - nothing. I expect my man to be equally as oblivious to the whole thing. In fact, its manditory. I won't humor a person who allows religion to run their life.

Thats not to say we cant DISCUSS religion. I'm all about having interesting conversations - I just don't want some boogey man making any of my life decisions for me.

I would want someone similiar to myself, naturally.

So what you're saying is that you absolutely refuse to be in a relationship with a religious person. Therefore, you should have voted "yes" (I think).

I was under the impression that a "no" meant that religion didn't factor into the relationship at all.

But I could be wrong.

I know this girl. Sweet girl - a touch too into herself and looking good around guys - but she is a sweetheart. However, she comes from a pretty stringent Muslim upbringing - she skipped high school in the US to go to the Middle East and get "brain washed" (her words).

Now shes this fucking horrible cocktease to any guy thats into her but she won't bring them home or tell her parents because they're not Muslim. Now, I've never been into her but I can see why a guy would want to hit it. However, someone who's that strict about her religion needs to get the fuck out of America - not because she's Muslim but because she's intolerant of other people's religions/races if she's willing to tease but not date.

First of all, this depends on what kind of dater you are: if you're just dating to have fun and have no long-term thoughts about the future, then hell no it doesn't matter.

However, if you are thinking long-term, then to me it is NOT important that the other person has PRECISELY the same religious beliefs, however it IS important that the other person truly has a lot of respect for your beliefs. As my girlfriend says, "the person can be in a different religion, but if that religion dictates that I'm going to hell because I'm not in it, well... that's just fucked up."

Lately I pretty much make it rule to not date Christians. It’s not so much the religion that turns me off than it is the idea that usually a typical Christian women – that I come across at least – is so fundamentally different from me that there’s no point in trying to relate to them anyway. I was open minded before. Tried it couple of times. Usually somewhere along the road it’s going to boil down to them looking down on me because I don’t follow their traditions and other bullshit versions of thinking. I get pissed, call out their blatant closed mindedness and sometimes outright stupidity. They get offended, shit goes to hell from there.

I don’t have much experience dating anybody who’s religious outside of Christianity. Expect for one girl who was wiccan. She rocked. So essentially, I guess if as long as they’re open minded I don’t care what religion they practice.

It was very unclear. I thought it meant "Do you want religion in your relationship?"

If someone wants to change my vote for me, I would appreciate it. =/

Yeah...I think I screwed up on the Poll..it is supposed to be

Yes -- Same Religon
No -- Do not want to date same religion or something
And dont care is well..don't care.

okay, after thinking about it again I now remember what the poll is

Would you date outside your religon if you have one.

Yes -- Yes
No -- No
Don't Care -- Don't Care.

I mistakenly voted "no" as well, for the same reason. I'd post a detailed summary of my thoughts, but to be honest, it would be just a cut-and-paste of your post above, with all gender-references reversed.

Hell yeah I would date out of my religion. It doesn't mean that much to me, and there aren't enough good looking jewish girls, anyway.

Are you a devout Jew? What if you end up marrying a Christian and you have children? Would you pitch a big fit about celebrating Christmas? What effect do you think it would have on your children that you disbelieve in the very core fundamentals of their mother's religion? What if she cooked shrimp on Friday or whatever (I'm not all that familiar with kosher regulations, sorry). Would that be a problem?

I'd rather not date outside my religion, 'cos I think lots of issues might crop up along the way and I'm not about to change my beliefs or anything and if someone tried to impose their religion on me I'd probably end up fighting back, so I would rather date someone who shares my beliefs or who can accept whatever beliefs I have.

I'd prefer to find an atheist, but chicks are more prone to being religious than guys, and I'm in the South, so I've got slim pickins.

I wouldn't continue to stay with a chick who thought she could convert me, but if they can show my beliefs respect (by not constantly questioning them), I can respect theirs.

Doesn't matter to me. I'm not religious, so if my significant other is a little religous it'd be okay. Technically I have no religion so everytime I do date someone I'm dating outside my religion.

Just as long as she isn't trying to convert me, or isn't trying to exterminate the Jews or something. I can't see any real problems. I'm open-minded enough to respect another person's religious practices.

You should've tried to convince him that Jesus was a Buddhist. There's a whole philosophy that goes on to describe the connections in Christianity with that of Buddhism (at least, as far as some of the things Jesus supposedly said). And as far as I know, most Buddhists are OK with the idea that Jesus was a Buddha :)

I agree. I've found that the South is a poor place to look for mates period, let alone ones smart open-minded enough to see things the way they are I do.

No, I'm not a devout Jew and I don't keep Kosher (except for Passover.) I wouldn't marry a hardcore gentile, either. My parents (my dad mostly) would be the one pitching a fit if I married someone out of the religion.

Maybe in the past it didn't matter for me, but now, if she's not a Christian, it's not going anywhere (I'm engaged so I guess it's moot anyway).

What about dating inside a religion. Specifically Christianity. Do alot of people see it ok to date someone who is Christian but one is Catholic and the other Baptist?

Joseph

I probably would never date muslims or atheists. Atheists mostly because the people that like to make it a point that they are atheists are usually ridiculous and assholes. I would date one if I just sort of found out eventually that they were.

And muslims, well, I doubt the muslim culture would accept me so much. Outside of that, it doesn't matter. Though I probably wouldn't date any extreme fanatics of any religion, be it Christian or some other.

I'm a Muslim, and I would not have any problems marrying or dating someone of another religion. I was, after all, raised here in Canada in a typically lax (religion-wise) environment.

However, I think my mom would kill me if I ever did. For her, my single choice is a Muslim Bengali girl from a nice background. She was telling me about how she wants me to go to Bangladesh when I'm older and find a wife. Uh...

Also, Islam permits men to marry Jewish or Christian women, but I'm pretty sure dating is forbidden unless it's serious courting.

It's pretty simple.

If you plan on having kids, you had better agree with your mate on everything that each of you considers important. If someone is religious, chances are, they are going to consider it important. Even if you're both completely open to each other's beliefs, you're going to confuse the hell out of the kid when he can't get a straight answer out of either of you.

If you don't want kids yet, then do whatever you want. I don't think relationships between two people who are culturally different have much of a chance to work out, let alone two people with differing religious beliefs, but as long as you're not bringing a kid into this world so you can fuck him up, go find out for youself.

I don't know about traditionally, but personally I'd be willing to compromise.

I try to keep as much of an open mind about girls and other religious, but the sort of beliefs and ideals I grew up with WOULD affect my thinking when it comes to a serious relationship, or marriage.

The whole thing about your kids and what they'll turn out like is a bit factor as well. So it makes sense to keep as open-minded as possible.

Everyone in my family has married to a catholic vietnamese person.
However, my cousin's husband used to be a buddhist, but he converted to catholicism just so he'd be accepted into the family by her parents. How sweet.
As for my aunt, she married a white aussie guy, who at this point I think is Catholic, but more of an athiest that anything.


There is a certain level of acceptance in my family, but I think in all seriously they would PREFER if I married some nice vietnamese girl, who was also catholic.....
I asked my parents, jokingly, what if i brought home a muslim girl, covered from head to toe in that traditional dress. They said they'd die from shock.
Jokingly, of course. But I'd guess that that IS what they'd actually do.

However, I think that as long as the girl I'm with is catholic, no matter what ethnicity she is, then they're fine with that

Wow. Surprising that I managed to pass over this thread for so long.

To me, having very a similar religious belief with someone I am dating is very important.
To begin with, I do not like to date, except as a means to an end, which is marriage. Thus, if there is someone who is pretty much not at all marriage material, I not date them.
Building upon that, it is also taught in Chrsitianity that it is not good for 2 people to be unequally yoked in life. Meaning, it is not very healthy for a believer and a non-believer to be married.
Therefore, I will not date anyone who does not hold to Christianity. I will however accept someone who is within the whole realm of Orthodox Christianity, whether Pentacostal or Catholic. In fact, in some ways, I would prefer a gal who has differing ideas of doctrinal nuances than I do (so long as they are well thought out). This will hopefully help keep us balanced in regards to certain perceptions and views.

So you wouldn't date a Protestant?

********

I would date people with different religious beliefs, but I couldn't date someone who is really radical or tries to force me to believe in his religion.

Being an Atheist, if I shunned people with other religions, my potential dating pool would be crippled. So I don't let it. I've spent nearly 19 years of my life pretending to respect religious beliefs (Catholic in my case), I can spend more of my life pretending to believe crap to keep other people happy.

Normally I'm a stickler for honesty in a relationship, and I make it a point not to lie to someone I'm dating. Religion is the exception here, because most people get SO FUCKING NUTS (tm) over their religion that it's not worth telling them the truth.

Maybe you should move to Manhattan or something.

So not only are you a lying sack of shit that cannot be trusted, but you lack the conviction to tell people you're atheist. Good job.

Well, Protestants, last I checked, are within the realm of Orthodoxy. Like I said, Pentacostals to Roman Catholic. That almost covers everything.

Also, LOL at Arainach.

Yeah, the woman would have to convert to Islam and the children would be raised under islamic law. Also, the rule for muslim men being allowed to marry jewish or christian women doesn't lie true for muslim women.

Having been raised as a somewhat lax muslim, my parents insist on me marrying an asian muslim, I think it's supposed to act as some kind of atonement for not having lived the perfect muslim life (praying five times a day, all that jazz.) However, I'm a pretty hard-headed girl - I don't see myself going down that road - I'm agnostic and don't really have a problem dating people of other faiths, so long as nothing is imposed on me.

Actually Orthodoxy is a separate branch of the church. There is Catholicism, Orothdoxy and Protestantism. What you said sounded like you meant you wouldn't date a Protestant.

I would and have dated people outside of my religion, however I can’t date a person that wants to change the beliefs that I have worked so hard to gain. I believe that religion is a very powerful and personal decision that should not be looked upon lightly.

So I guess I am on the fence a little even though I voted ‘yes’. The one thing that I have to have though is the willingness to let my children make up their own mind on what they want to believe in.

Well, not really.
There is orthodoxy, which is essentially the basic, undeniable doctrines. The things which, if you deny, make you not a member of that group. In the case of a Christian: if someone says that they believe in all the basic ideas of Christianity, except that they think Jesus was just a man, then by definition they cannot be considered a Christian. Get my drift?

There are other churches which have, as their title, orthodox church, like the Eastern, Greek, Syrian, etc. But that is not what I am referring to. Context my friend, context.

I still don't get why people in these days still need to believe in some imaginary god or something. I wish everybody would just erase religious stuff from their heads. If I'm worried because of something, praying to an imaginary thing won't make it better, because it's fake and my mind's creation. I mean, if someone would grow up without hearing about religion and such, I think that person would never care about such things. We should worry about being good to each other, and not about being good in order to go to heaven.
But hey, I'd date someone religious, but only if that person would not restrict me, like not eating meat. That's just absurd.

Discarding the possibility that a god exists the way you do is a pretty arrogant affirmation, don't you think?. :juggler:

Morality is more important to me than Religion. As long as you have the same general ideas of right and wrong that I do, it's fine. The only group I'd consciously not date are super-Christians that praise God every 5 seconds. And now a days there's more and more Christians that are pretty liberal as far as Religious preference, so I'm fine dating one of them.

I would definitely prefer to date someone who is religious, preferably Christian, and as close to Catholic as possible. At the minimum someone I date must be open-minded about such things. I'm somewhat religious myself. I attend mass at least once a week. I've gone to private school all my life except for college. I've been in a youth group forever. So, to answer the poll, I'll date outside of my religion for sure, but I will consider religion.

Please, don't get me wrong. I respect people who are religious. But I didn't say it doesn't exist. The truth is that no one knows if it does exist. That's why I say it's nothing more than something imaginary. So why praying to something we don't even know? :) People find it easier not to face reality and instead gain hope in "God". That's what I've been realizing with my mother, for example.

Anyone else laughing at all the people who said, "Oh, religion is fine as long as the person doesn't try to push their beliefs on me"?

I don't know about Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc, but you guys do realize that a big part of Christianity is evangelism, right? If you're involved with a "Christian" who never tries to help you accept Jesus, they're not much of a Christian. So what you're really saying is that you don't mind dating people who claim to be Christians although they don't practice the teachings of Jesus.

You could say "nondenominational" or as CS Lewis puts it, "mere" Christianity. Saying orthodox really is confusing.

Yeah, it's kinda like saying, "Hey, I don't mind if you're Mexican, just don't eat beans around me." 'Cause you know, the farts. Could end a marriage. Etc.

Even though I chose "I dont care" its not exactly my answer. I dont care when it comes to dating, but a relationship is quite a different matter. If things get serious, then people should really analyse what it is thats important to them.

As another poster implied, all's well and good until children come into the picture. What tends to happen then is that people somehow return to thier roots (be it becuase suddenly they want to do the "right thing" or becuase grandparent get involved, etc.)

That being said, I dont expect anything serious unless I could come to an understanding about religion with the other person. If they persisted with the attitude of "well do what you want just keep me out of it", I would end it.

Sorry, but I prefer to use the proper terminology. =p
Read G.K. Chesterton's book "Orthodoxy." Granted, it is a bit more of a Catholic bent, but it is still a good and insightful read.
The thing about "nondenominational" is that, for example, the Unitarians claim to be Christian, but they most certainly are not. I don't think I could put up with someone who believes in so much relativism and new-age mumbo jumbo, not to mention theologically unsound ideas. This is why I say orthodox... to separate those who are doctrinally sound from those who are not.

Well, that's what nondenominational means. Your doctrine is the Bible. Simple.

A Bible that was compiled to represent and support specific doctrines while neglecting others, I might add. That's one thing that gets me about Christians. They depend on the Bible as if it's the origin of doctrines, but neglect to mention that the scripture which makes up the NT was chosen by those who were the majority denomination at the time (and became majority, I might add, by means of killing off the followers of other denominations and destroying the gospel/scriptures they used). Let's not pretend the NT compilation is an unbiased account of the history of Jesus.

Uh, they were the only denomination at the time. It was about 300 AD. Plus, it's not like they wrote the book, they just anthologized other books that had been written a couple hundred years ago.

No they weren't. There were lots and lots of various sects of Christianity after His death, each with their own interpretations on His life and His purpose here, etc. Check out the book "The Gnostic Gospels" by Elaine Pagels. What we call "denominations" today are baby-step differences compared to the differences between demoninations that existed after His death.

I can't see myself marrying someone who is a devout (insert Western religion here), but dating someone casually would be fine. I've had bad experiences with Christians, mostly those who push their beliefs onto me, and I find that disrespectful, especially when I make a polite point across that I appreciate their thoughts but no thanks. I believe Muslims are the same with evanglical preachings. To date a devout will definitely not work out with me since we can't even have a firm standing to being with.

With raising kids on the matter, I would prefer my children be raised without pushing one particular religion towards them, simply because I want them to be open-minded about everything.

I've run into this one head first the past couple of years. My fiancee is a "stated" Jehovah's Witness (as in she says she's one but doesn't really practice many/any of their beliefs) and I'm a Catholic. Now I'm not as devout or religious as I "should" (read: I don't go to mass that often) be but I do practice/follow most of our beliefs.

Over the course of our relationship we've had a few discussions in regard to our children's religions and upbringing and the result is something like a tolerant neutrality although I think I'd be more comfortable with them being Catholic also. But that's their choice.

So my answer is still it makes no difference in my dating but I admit that differing religious views is one of the biggest killers of relationships.

It is important to me - if my b/f kept putting down my religion i'd be pretty pissed b/c religion is such an intergral part of my life (so important that I would miss an annual Range Competition to go to church..haha).

On a more serious note, I guess if you share a faith you can pray for one another and come to understand one another on a deeper level (spiritual level). Not only can you discuss and help one another through daily problems but also kinks in your spiritual life. One sunday school teacher discribed love as a triangle. God is on one vertice, you one one and your significant other on the other - the closer you move toward God, the closer you move toward one another.... or something like that.

If it isn't a long-term thing, then I don't think it really matters. However, in choosing someone to marry I would want a person who believes in the fundamentals of Christianity. I wouldn't be able to stand someone who over spiritualizes everything. If you're constantly relating every situation to God,(which is what the church encourages) then it leads me to believe that you can't think for yourself; and personally, I place high value on being able to make your own decisions without being heavily influenced by other people. In a nutshell, I wouldn't want to get into a long-term relationship with someone who lets the church run their life for them.

I totally agree.

To some people, having the same religion may be a big deal and something important; but to me, personally, I don't see it as that big of the deal. You're being with the person because you love him/her, regardless what religion the person that you're with believes in, if it made the person the way he/she is and you like it, well... You can't suppose it's something bad, right?
What's more important is that both people in a relationship should respect what the other believes in, and be understanding. Do not try to deny the other's religion in front of his/her face, because it'll only show that you're close-minded. Just be understanding that if there are different cultures in this world, then there must be different religions and beliefs and tales in this world. Others may not believe in the same thing as you do, because they may be born and brought up in a different country and culture.

Yeah. They anthologized selectively, leaving out any books which didn't agree with their own viewpoints. In other words, the bible leaves out as much as it includes in terms of good quality writing about Jesus and early Christians.

I don't see a problem with dating someone of a different religion. It's marriage that can make things complicated (as I'm sure many of you have stated before). You have to choose a religion to follow, just one. By allowing each spouse to keep his/her religion, if you plan on having any kids this is where the problem lies. Which religion do you raise you son/daughter under?

And then there's complication with family: "Why did you turn Christian?" "Why did you turn Jewish" etc.


Dating is fine really. My friend (a Catholic) is dating one of my female friends (Jewish). They schedule all their plans on Friday (Saturday and Sunday are obvious) and sometimes my friend forgets the whole kosher thing. *Shrug* He wants to marry the girl though (in the future...sometime), and I have no idea how that will work out. More power to them though.

Good point. In fact, that's exactly what I was thinking... I'm not a religious man (in orkut-talking, I have a spiritual side independent of relligions) either, but I do respect people who are, as long as they're not fanatic and they don't try to convert my... soul. :p

Love is, in my opinion, way above those matters. And the society's opinion about who I'm dating and/or about my preferences is, sincerely, nothing.

No one will tell this guy here who I'm supposed to date, what political party I'm supposed to follow or what religion I'm supposed to profess.

:edgarrock:

I'm atheist and my girlfriend is Catholic. It doesn't bother me that she goes to church and prays every night, and it's never been an issue that I don't do the same.
I voted that I would, 'yes,' date someone outside of my religion, because I obviously do. That said, I can see that in many cases, where it is a major issue for either partner, it could create a severe rift in the relationship.
But as it stands for me, my girlfriend has said that she knows that I am an intelligent person and respects my ability to come to my own conclusions. She has yet to try and force (or even suggest) her beliefs on me. I'd be lying if I said I don't think about how this will progress as we get older, but I'm also not worried.

If I said NO, I wouldn't date much...
 

The original question refers to dating, not serious relationships... so I'd say YES.

Religion isn't a problem to me, if the guy is religious that's okay, as long as it's not a fanatic. Seriously, I have a classmate in college who's from something called "Evangelist church" and the way he put it: evangelists *have* to try to convert everyone to their religion. Don't countries have a law against that?

I wouldn't know about the raising children thing, though... My father was Roman catholic and my mother Greek orthodox; me and my brothers weren't forced to believe in either religion as we were growing up. Could that be a solution good enough for everyone? :)

:doh: Didn't see the "doesn't matter" option before hitting "yes".

Anyway, as an atheist, it's 99% likely that anyone I date will be not share my religious beliefs.

It may be a rather black-and-white way of looking at things, but I believe that either you're devout, or you're not religious at all. One thing that's always bugged me has been half-assed Christians, etc. So I wouldn't go out with someone who "casually" follows a faith, because I don't believe in such a thing.

I also think a big part of religion is the way you think. Talking to an idealistic Christian when I'm a cynical Nontheist is pretty difficult, because our thought processes are so different. For that reason, I'd probably never go out with someone who's really into a religion.

So, considering both those cases, I think it's safe that I'd never date outside my faith - which is actually the lack of one. Go figure.

Edit: Shit, the poll confused me. I should have voted "yes". =/

I agree with Lee-chan on those casual believers. They seem to take a pretty convenient approach to something one should either take seriously or just leave alone. It also says a lot about what kind of commitment such a person is willing to make to a supposely large aspect of her personal life.

Now, since I'm an atheist, I'm not getting along very will with all-out believers (at least not on such an intimate level) and I have to say, I'd really prefer a partner who shares my profound disbelieve instead of someone with the aforementioned "commitment issues".

So it's "no" for me here and I might add that I'm speaking out of varried expierences.

Whoa!
 

That someone isn't a religious fanatic doesn't mean they have commitment issues, Cyrus. :S Without "casual believers" there'd be much more confrontation between people of different religions.

If everyone was so serious about religion, every country would be like Iran!

I voted yes mostly because my girlfriend is a Christian. She's not devout, but she does go to church occasionally and has a love for Jesus and God. However she's not very strict and definitely seems to have an anti-thesis of what the Bible says and such. She hasn't tried putting her views on to me, mostly that it should be my decision and that it wouldn't be me to begin with.

I'm an atheist, so religion has no part of me. I have an interest it, all of them including Christianity, though most of the beliefs that the religion and others have don't interest me, or I just pick and choose what I want.

As far as concerning kids, if I have them with her, I'd like our kids to choose their religion. If they want to be Christians, fine. Buddahists. OK. Satanists, that's fine. Whatever they want to believe in and makes them happy. If they do become Christian, and perhaps more devout than my girlfriend, and they accuse me of being a heathen, so be it. Though it would hurt to have your own kids not love you for that reason, or disown you.

I believe that there's a difference between practicing your beliefs to "sufficient" extent and being radical. I think it's like difference between a person who's pro-life but doesn't do anything, a person who's pro-life, keeps up with the issues and votes, and a person who's pro-life and blows up their local abortion clinic.

Also, while I'm not too familiar with some religions, a lot of them do preach religious tolerance. While evangelism is a part of Christianity, I think I remember verses that talk about leaving staunch non-believers to their fates, or something to that effect. I also think that the Koran encourages tolerance (to the "People of the Book" at the very least). But then again, I'm no expert on these things... =/

Oh, yes...
 

Well, if you're seeing someone who's religious to "sufficient extent" then it's likely that person will disagree with you very much if you don't believe in the same things. I don't want THAT kind of world. :(

Besides... *who* says where's the line of your "sufficient extent"? To the fanatics *that* is sufficient, so it's for those casual believers. It might not be too easy to define... don't you think?

As for the tolerance thing... the Qu'ran might encourage it... but where do you see it in practice? Oh, I just imagine, what if I were to date a muslim guy? No, wait. That would never happen! I'd have to be muslim myself! @_@

I don't understand why you would say this. I think if you looked, you'd find a lot of people who are atheists - especially in our region up here in GREEN NEW ENGLAND.

I also think that if you really find yourself having a hard time finding someone who shares your belief, you're EXTREMELY likely to find someone who just "doesn't care," or finds that "it doesn't matter."

I completely disagree with everything Alice said here. People can still believe in God and Christianity and follow his teachings without preaching their beliefs to others. Not everything set down in the Bible needs to be followed for someone to be a good Christian. It says, in the Old Testament, that sacrifices should be made. How many of you "good Christians" do this? I hope to hell none of you do. Times change. People change. No one wants beliefs pushed on them. Let them choose their own damn religion. Besides, some of the worst exploits in the history of the world involve evangelism.

I wouldn't care what religion my girl was really. I'm kinda agnostic myself. The problem comes when other religions act xenophobic towards every other belief on the planet.

Although I've said this multiple times in the past, I really don't care what religion a girl is. And no matter how stupid and contradictory it may seem to Alice, I just don't want the girl I'm dating to push religion in your face. To me, religion is a very personal thing, that everyone should take their own way. Don't just follow the masses because you think you're going to get a better place in heaven.

I beg to differ. A person actually abiding seriously to the teachings attributed to Jesus of Nazareth and the basic moral code from the Old Testament (read: the Ten Commandments) would qualify as a peaceful individual that wouldn't dream of harming anyone. Theocracies like Iran or the atrocities commited by the Catholic church for instance are more based on outright hypocricy than on any spiritual doctrine whatsoever.

You shalt not kill ... well ok, if you don't like your next man's face, you can make something up, deem it the Lord's will and slay away."

Hmm... yeah, well... that's impossible. I mean, getting everyone to be an ideal Christian. Also:
Why are there so many branches of christianism if they all believe in the same god? Everytime they disagree on something a new branch is born. It's such a convenient religion...
Why all of them think *they* are the right one? Wouldn't the *first* christianity be the right one? What's its name?
Are they planning on unifying as one church any day soon? Wouldn't THAT be something!

Now about the second part of your post:

What atrocities? The Crusades or the Inquisition? And I don't know what's hypocrite about Iran. I bet the Qu'ran allows death penalty against non-believers. See? In Iran you won't have trouble finding someone from your own religion! :D All the others are dead.

It doesn't you idiotic, fucking moron. That's why all this suicide bombing is so dumb. No where in the Koran does it say you'll get the 100 virgins (I think it is) if you kill as many non-believers as possible. That's a modern "interpretation" gone horribly wrong.

I wouldn't know, I don't have a Qur'an. That's why I said "I bet..." instead of "I'm sure...".

If that's just a wrong interpretation, why aren't there exploding zealots based on the Bible or other sacred texts? Yes, there have been crazy cults before... but nothing that inspires a "War on Terror"! :/

Well you lost the bet stupid, congratulations for offending approx. 1.5 billion people. As for the Bible and its respective faith: I'm sure a US president bent to the will of his country's christian right, who actually makes use of the word "crusade" in the 21st century and severely threatens world peace with an aggresive, war inciting policy is disturbing enough.


Btw, wasn't this about relationships? Slash didn't want this "which religion is worse?" thing, let's respect that, shall we?

For an atheist like me, it doesn’t matter. If she’s religious, whether she tries to make me convert or not is inconsequential. I’d be genuinely flattered if anyone cared enough to try, although experiences suggest to me that these are the sort of people who wouldn’t enter into a relationship with a non believer in the first place.

The value I place in the relationship in question would depend on what kind of compromise I’d be willing to make. If you’re with someone you love, you support them in their endeavours and accept them for what they are. That involves not undermining them either: for instance, it’s not my position to casually tell them her about the scandal her formal Sunday school teacher was involved in (local churches have plenty of politics and scandal, and word gets around in a small community).

Of course, if someone claims to be Christian and isn’t able to live up to “expectations” by being unable or unwilling to convert her partner, it doesn’t necessarily make her a bad person. If she doesn’t want to convert me, I’m prepared to view that as an acceptable form of compromise, not an inherent character flaw or misguided religious beliefs on her part. Simply, it boils down to, ‘If I can accept you, you can accept me’ and if you can’t, their’s a need to reevaluate the situation and decide whether we’d be better of not being together.

Religions:

Shi'a Muslim 89%, Sunni Muslim 9%, Zoroastrian, Jewish, Christian, and Baha'i 2%

Right. I'm sure the 1.4 million people in Iran who aren't Muslim all agree with you on that.

Ok. I didn't mean to let this slide off-topic.

I banned you for that. Carry on~

Good one ... had me scrambling for the ban rules right away. :doh:

Religion shouldn't be crucial in dating. Well as people respect each other's beliefs and don't end up bashing each other or start generalizing about religion because of a person.

Although it's kinda sad that it's really a major issue in contemporary context. I've actually seen people fallen in heavy disagreement because of religion. The reason also happens to be a variation within a particular religion (i.e. Protestant - Christian) rather than from religion to religion.