Perverted Thoughts
 

*may offend those with a weak stomach*






First off, this is my first post in this forum, and I've never even bothered to lurk through the topics here. But I was told to post here to ask for help.

Anyways...

I have this serious problem regarding my pervertedness, but it's mostly an issue of masturbation. For several years I would get off daily, sometimes twice or three times a day. But after recently hearing about how much better it feels to wait off for several days at a time (2-7 day intervals), I have been trying not to fap to it each day. My problem is that I often keep failing and my drive for pleasure is too strong for me to hold back. It certainly doesn't help my case when, as of lately, I've been reorganizing my porn collection.

Now - a close friend of mine offered me some advice but everything this person offered doesn't seem to work. He has said that I try to focus on something else and do other things instead. Unfortunately I get bored a lot of the time. And when I'm bored, sex is the very first thing to enter my mind. Doesn't seem to matter where I am either, be it when I'm in class not doing anything, when I'm in a car ride or when I get into bed and try to sleep.

A girlfriend is out of the question for me. If I get one it only gives me less time to be doing the things I need to get done, and it also prevents me from getting as good a mark as I want to in school (everyone in my school is a bunch of chatterboxes, but that's for another subject). Please don't bring up getting a girlfriend as my solution.

I haven't tried these out, but maybe one of these options could be my answer?

a) take up drawing art,
b) start taking up exercising (it's something I seriously need to be doing more often anyway),
c) a combination of the two.

I'd really love to have some help on this. Keep the fapping jokes to a minimum if possible. I'm really not in the mood for humor right now.

I don't really see how any of those options could substitute for sexual release. I wonder why it is so important for you to limit your natural urges unless there is some religious or cultural motivation behind it.

I had this same problem. It took years to overcome and every now and then I might experience a bit of recidivism. What I started to do was getting off the computer. I find it when I'm alone and on the computer, the temptation to jack off is irresistable, therefore I just leave the damn house and find something to do. Be it to go to the library, a cafe, a bookstore, run around the park, etc, just choose your poison and go with it. When you come home, it's less likely that you'll feel the urge.
I also know for a fact that I feel absolutely drained and unable to do my daily tasks after a bout of this. I'm sure too much of the release of hormones during an orgasm is bound to change the chemistry of the brain over time. Sometimes I feel unable to feel any other kind of pleasure, irritable towards others, etc. You talked about the same things so I'm sure you know about the "side-effects" of masturbation first hand.

Tips:
-I know you have a folder with at least 10 gigabytes of porn in it. Trash it.
-Call up a girlfriend. It sounds simple or nerve-wracking depending on your mood, but try it sometime. It's soothing to be talking to a girl, hearing her laugh, etc.
-Hang out with friends. Go to the movies or something with them, just hang out and enjoy yourself.
-Yes, start exercising. Not only does physical exercise release these feel-good hormones so your mood is far away from the thought of jerking off, your health in general improves as well. I would start off by running, doing some push-ups or pull-ups if you have access to a bar, and maybe some lunges up a sweep hill.
Last but not least, don't feel self-conscious about improving your situation. A lot of people go through these but don't share it on a forum or anything. Just go at it with confidence, and I'm sure people will be noticing the change in your behavior. If it's positive stick around with them, if it's not just move on.

I think I can sum up this entire post with a simple, delicate image:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1.../turnyouon.jpg

A lot of friends (who are into artwork) have told me that drawing helps them relax from a stressful day or whenever they're worked up over something. I figure exercise would make me less lazy and that it would get me off the computer more. Being active with something (physically or mentally) takes my mind off the subject of sex and onto something more productive. I don't know if either of these methods will work, but it doesn't hurt to try.


SemperFidelis - there's not a whole lot of places to visit in my city, and I don't have a job yet, but I guess a change of attitude is on order. Thanks for the tips, I'll be sure to try out your recommendations sometime.

I know that the only solution for me has been to make sure my day is completely busy with mandatory activities. It's waaaaay too easy to sneak it in, even at the slightest moment of idle time. On days I go to work, am at school until nighttime, or am at a friend's place are the only surefire occassions that I don't do it (throughout or after the activities at least).

Make absolutely sure you get up out of bed right when you wake up, and move straight from the toilet to the shower if that's part of your daily routine. Those are the two most dangerous times. Also make sure you never sleep absurdly late, and maybe wear clothes for going out instead of house clothes.

A big help would be to make sure you're always in a room where there is someone else. You can't sneak off by yourself or else you'll get the urge.

What would you be doing with the toilet that would be at all erotic? :(


You could always take up a religion. For instance, I imagine it'd be hard (lol pun) to think about getting off and at the same time meditate on infinite compassion for all living creatures, unless you're really kinky. It's a serious suggestion. The idea of achieving the cessation of desire worked wonders for me, back when I actually cared.

It's also possible that you're making a big deal out of nothing and so empowering your bad habits to overwhelm you. In the end it's all about choice.

When you realize that you can make your own pr0n, it really doesn't help. :tpg:

There, I said it.

Isn't this what you yanks invented baseball for?

I have to agree with Ulysses. What is the problem, exactly? Is the ten minutes a day you're spending in the bathroom really cutting into your productivity that much?

And I'm sure everyone's going to think I'm coming at this from some religious or motherly standpoint, but I'm really not. Porn is bad news for a young person. I think it's fine for adults who have had and/or are having plenty of real life sexual experience, but I think with young people who - to put this bluntly - aren't getting any, it just leads to extreme sexual frustration and a completely unrealistic view of women and sex in general.

If I had to diagnose your problem, I'd say it's probably the porn.

Hm though, an interesting digression, do you suppose that pornography would also be unhealthy for a marriage as well Alice? Typically porn exhibits a more "exciting" and "thrilling" illustrations of sex which may diminish the interaction between a married couple. Perhaps the man may find that his sex life is extremely dull in comparison to porn. Thus, he may soon find sex to be all that unappealing with his wife in regards to his fantasies with pornography.

Sorry, I had to do this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azYQT5bZOaQ
(No more jokes after this, I promise)

No, I don't think it's unhealthy for a marriage if it's used sparingly. If the couple depends on it or otherwise can't enjoy themselves without it, then I'd say it's a problem.

It's like anything else. If you overindulge, it's a bad thing. Enjoyed in moderation, I don't see a problem.

Wiser words were never spoken. Anything in moderation is good.

I always tend to sleep in in the mornings, but I see why you're saying that since there's morning wood and all. Also, does 12AM/1AM on weekends sound absurdly late to you?

Nothing. It's the cleaning up after you take a piss that provokes touching yourself, I assume.

As for your other statement, I already go to a Catholic school so I guess that makes me a Christian. Our family doesn't follow the religion as much as we should, though (and I'm aware that fondling yourself is going against it, so all the more reason to be holding back... or to not do it at all. But the latter would be impossible for me and I don't think that not doing it at all is good, as the occasional fap can make you feel better emotionally and psychologically as well as physically).

Like I said in my initial post - holding off for anywhere between 2-7 days provides better pleasure since the prostate gland has to build up proteins for the next ejaculation. There's a wiki entry on it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm

I can agree with you on the fact that porn for minors is bad. True, I still am one (16 years old) - but I don't think porn is a problem for me if it's not making me want to actually have sex with someone IRL. I can contain myself; and as for porn making women look like sex objects - I certainly don't view them as mere toys for me to jam my dick into. That's just how the media makes them out to be (and the media, in most cases, is wrong, IMO).

If you really need to stop beating it, get a job working long hours. You can't jerk off at work :)

Personally, I don't think that porn is all that bad for a person, sexually active or not. Sure, it paints an unrealistic picture, but then again so do movies, novels, and video games, so whatever. Look at porn as sexual research. When the time DOES come for you to be sexually active, you will have had enough research to be a good performer ;)

I know this might be a little hard to do given the context, but what if you just completely deleted your entire porn collection? I actually did this not too long ago and it can be difficult - as I understand it you do take an amount of pride in the size of your archive and the accumulation of it - but when I actually emptied my Recycle Bin I really felt much better and oddly liberated in a way.

The best cure for perverted thoughts is music. Especially music that takes your entire attention and emotionally involves you. Rips the perversion right out.

Lie Cellius, I used to have quite the pr0n collection, but I deleted it some months ago and changed my obsession to collect things over to aural pleasures. And it works bloody wonders.

The Music Exposure Club (free admission using the gff multipass!) is a most excellent place to start a collection of aural sex. Get to it!

I don't have as much porn as many may think. Nowhere near ten gigabytes, I probably have one gig of porn at the absolute max. But the reason I'm going through my collection is so that I can delete the majority of it (95% of it is mere images that are drawn like shit) and keep the best only.

Truth be told, I actually have over 200, maybe 300 gigabytes of VGM and film scores and I try to listen to as much as I can. I'd be interested in the MEC if there was more than just heavily underrated/unheard of mainstream albums posted =p But that's the whole point of it so I have no reason to complain.

Just schedule yourself, it's what I do. Try doing it everyday-every other week, or just 2-3times every other week. Might be impossible on somedays when you suddenly get a high level of horniness. Doing it too much will put your body in a constant state of fatigue. I deleted about 750MB of porn 2 years ago, only to DL 3GIG worth a few months later. My HDD that crashed took 4.5GB with it - I was very addicted to porn, partially the fault of being able to have easy access to it. Now I just keep the vids I like the most(only 4) and stick with that. IMO Porn is just good for learning positions(besides the unrealistic ones your average couple wont do).

Since "anything" includes poison, and "anything" in moderation is good, so, poison in moderation is good. Right? :p

You're 16. Thats when the sex drive for men really starts. So I wouldnt think of it as a horrible horrible thing, unless its really interfering with your life.

Otherwise... hot sauce on the hands. :)

My suggestion still stands.

What do you think alcohol is, dipshit? How about marijuana or cocaine? Poisons. In moderation, they're not that troublesome. In fact, most poisons, with certain exceptions obviously, used within controllable doses, with build up a resistance to said toxin, not unlike how anti-venom is distilled from actual toxins. Where's your smartass reply now, waste-of-space-newbie #2048?

Here, smartass waste-of-space-master #1 :deadhorse:

So, let's make my point clear.
Since "anything" includes "drinking gasoline", and "anything" in moderation is good, so, drinking gasoline in moderation is good. Right?

If you don't have the slightest sense of humor, that's your problem, sir.

Jeez, Deni. Overreact much?

Welcome to being adolescent and male.

Now, if your problem is boredom, which leads to gratuitous masturbation, then I might suggest a hobby or finding something outside of sex that interests you.

Also, whoever suggests girlfriends as a substitute for chronic masturbation is an idiot. You need sluts for that, they're on every high school/college campus. Their goal in life, or at least, in this stage in their life, is to have as much penis crammed into them as possible. You don't even really need to do anything more than say "Hi." So, if time is an issue, sluts are your best bet.

Sir, I have a sense of humour, which is why you offend me. The joke was tired, the attempt was weak, and you aren't funny. Crawl back in your hole.

Quote from the Wikipedia - "Flaming (Internet)"
Crawling? Hole?...ROFLMAO. :rolleyes: Good try. It didn't work.
Looked at the Wikipedia quote above? So, stop flaming before this thread ends up in the Sewers.

Yeah, mate. I'll get right on that whole listening to your opinion bit. Right at the top of my list. And you mean did I look at your internet opinion based quote? Yeah, it accomplished exactly nothing. I'm sorry your joke was shite, but you should move on and try again in another Quiet Place thread. Maybe you can run into some sad little emo kids who don't think you're a waste of time.

"Unfortunately I get bored a lot of the time."

"A girlfriend is out of the question for me. If I get one it only gives me less time to be doing the things I need to get done"


Pal, you're in high school. Do you have ANY IDEA of just how much free time you have right now?
See that first quote above? About boredom? Boredom doesn't exist with any regularity past high school. If you're 19 or older and still get bored frequently, you're either a 1 in a million supergenius, or you're doing something wrong. The boredom will stop happening frequently in a couple years.

Now, if you honestly don't want a girlfriend because you think you don't have time for one, here's a very straightforward answer for you: you're wrong. You definitely have time for a girlfriend right now. How can you say you get bored frequently, then turn around and say you don't have time for a girlfriend? High school relationships are NOT highly involved. I 100% guarantee that your life WILL get much, much busier in the years after high school, so I don't see how that's a good reason, unless you seriously plan on remaining a bachelor for your entire life. (not that you can expect a LASTING relationship to develop out of high school... which is why I didn't care for high school dating, myself).

And I know you're indignant about someone coming in here and telling you that you're not busy. You're probably saying to yourself "but I work hard for good grades and I have lots of homework and and I have lots of chores and I have to do lots of work for student group X and sports team Y." Don't worry... I hated hearing it too. But it's true: you're not as busy as you think you are. Seriously. You only get busier as time goes on.


But even with the girlfriend thing aside, your problem is simply your boredom. That's really all it is. There's no one or two special things you can do to prevent frequent masturbation... just fill up your schedule with ANYTHING. Student groups, after-school activities, academics, reading, videogames, art, working out, ANYTHING. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's INTERESTING for you, and stays that way.

Don't worry about it too much. The problem will likely go away soon after you're out of high school.

I can say from experience that the problem doesn't go away after highschool. If its truly something you find yourself needing to do, you'll find time. Pretty much any free time is filled up with viewing of porn. Simply because after awhile, you lose interest in lots of other things. I know I've deleted my porn collection several times. But with highspeed internet, its not hard to regain it. Even if you manage to quit for a little while, somehow you manage to slip back into it. I think what it takes is for someone to really wanna stop. Once you have yourself in that mindset, it will probably be easier. All I can really suggest is to delete your porn, remove temptation and fill your time up with other tasks. The rest is pretty much pure will power.

Man...you're complaining this as an effect of 'bored' and 'having nothing to be done' whil you're still 16? Wow...you're pathetic.

16 heh? So it means you're still a first-year student, if I don't mistaken. Shouldn't first years be the most pleasant times in high school? That means you should have a huge load of things to be done. Try taking up things you like that takes concentration and dedication in it. Interact alot with others; this MAY keep your mind off those pervert thoughts...as long you don't hang out with slutty girls.

Discarding ALL porn stuff might be a good idea, as long as you aren't trying to get a new one. Try to think positive things, and try to avoid nasty thoughts. You may even try yoga or meditation; these helps improve your positive aura. But what I've mentioned above and all other advices posted here (yes, all!) won't even work if you don't have the true intention to stop. Just ask yourself, do you really wish to stop all those nasty stuff? If you do, and only if you want to so badly, then take extreme actions.

Above all, it's all in your hands.

Well, I should have said that I don't have time for a girlfriend because it's simply inconvenient for me to talk to people during/inbetween classes. I've got a lot of homework recently and not a moment to spare, because my main concern regarding school right now is to get the best grades as I can so as to open up more possibilities for university and/or a carrer that I'd like to take. But I admit my fault about being bored. It seemed like ages ago that I wrote that initial post and nowadays my schedule has filled up... but I guess that's a good thing.

Nah. I don't plan to remain single my entire life, but I'll most likely stay this way for a few years yet. It seems there's a lot of breaking up going around in the journals today, ironically.

I'm in second-year high school, in Grade 10, actually. I don't know what that is in American terms... I'm guessing sophomore.

The first years are great, I agree, but not in the same sense as yours. The only real time a person gets to slack off is when they're still a kid. Enjoy it while it lasts, I guess - I can only imagine the workload piles up more and more as the years go by.

I take up CD/video game music ripping as a bit of a side hobby right now, and so far that seems to be working... of course, I'll be getting a job later on, but I'll keep myself busy with that in the meantime.

Good... that should make things easier. And there'll be even more interesting stuff to keep yourself busy with in college. Then your problem should be slightly lessened, and it'll be easier to get away from. :)