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-   -   You're a douche ass-hat! (http://www.gamingforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=19079)

Trigunnerz Feb 21, 2007 11:42 AM

You're a douche ass-hat!
 
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/interne....ap/index.html

OH NOES!

I think 90% of you guys would get arrested.

Thanatos Feb 21, 2007 11:45 AM

Another stupid regulation, I see.

Sigh~

Vestin Feb 21, 2007 12:15 PM

I thought this thread was going to be another thread like the one I started in the Sewers. I was about to say I take NO responsibility for this one.

I think this is ridiculous. Instead of punishing the ones who are doing the "bullying" they need to offer therapy for the ones that take it so seriously they kill themselves.

starslight Feb 21, 2007 12:25 PM

Dad's in some serious denial if he thinks his son killed himself because some kids called him gay on AIM.

Dark Nation Feb 21, 2007 03:43 PM

This article ignore the real issue: we need to eliminate the stigma of being homosexual. I bet if no one cared about your preference, this sort of idiocy wouldn't have happened. That just my two cents though.

YO PITTSBURGH MIKE HERE Feb 21, 2007 03:53 PM

I think the "bullies" may have hit a little close to home.

rocketdog Feb 21, 2007 04:05 PM

I blame the parents. Obviously it seems like the kid informed his folks... who did shit. Or maybe they let him die cause he actually was gay and they couldn't handle it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trigunnerz (Post 396633)
I think 90% of you guys would get arrested.

Death sentence more likley. Visit the sewers lately? :psyduck:

Paco Feb 21, 2007 04:14 PM

So now we're all going to be held accountable for the day when that little shit Simply Majestic kills himself? (Because you know that day's coming)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocketdog
Death sentence more likley. Visit the sewers lately? :psyduck:

Well it's a good thing you stay out of there, don'tcha think Matthew (Shepherd)?

Matt Feb 21, 2007 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin (Post 396802)
Did you guys read the article? It's about putting in place some discipline/laws for kids who do this to fellow classmates. There really isn't anything about internet randoms insulting each other.

I'm wondering if the OT read the article.

Here I was thinking that this was going to be about that other article in the New York Times about Flaming due to "an inflated sense of self, and anonymity on the internet."
I could throw up a link but that'd be hard. :(

Gechmir Feb 21, 2007 05:13 PM

lol. It'd be funny if it was blatant hunting down of e-bullies. Call someone a fucktard one day, police are kicking your door down the next =O

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING A POTTY MOUTH AND A NINNY-HEAD.

o no ;__;
Quote:

Originally Posted by Article
States from Oregon to Rhode Island are considering crackdowns to curb or outlaw the behavior in which kids taunt or insult peers on social Web sites like MySpace or via instant messages. Still, there is some disagreement over how effective crackdowns will be and how to do it.

Weird reinforcement... They should totally make Myspace and what-not an 18+ sort of thing. I know it won't stop it, but it'd deter these 12 & 13 year olds from toting their worthless school drama online.

Anyhow, I think daddy on this here article needed to pay more attention to his kiddo. I seriously doubt that IMs were the root of his trouble. The kid could've -- I dunno -- GOT A NEW IM NAME?

pengudeus Feb 21, 2007 05:17 PM

"Cyberbullies"? Who the hell coined this term?

You're always going to get some "ass-hat" who wants to express his idiotic opinions to the rest of the world and that causes someone to be "offended." Learn to deal with it.

I poked it and it made a sad sound Feb 21, 2007 05:21 PM

Jesus CHRIST. Enough with the babying.

If you're called "gay" or whatever in school, you better get used to it. Don't take shit so seriously. This is what school is ABOUT. Mean names shouldn't denote it's time to KILL YOURSELF.

NAME-CALLING. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

It's nothing new. Kids have been doing this since kids were...well, kids. Its just NOW, they can use MySpace and AIM to do it too!

Interrobang Feb 21, 2007 05:31 PM

Shouldn't that this kid had the stupidity to kill himself over the Internet not being nice to him be of greater concern than the that kids called him gay? I know it hurts losing your son, but come the fuck on.

brknredcrayon Feb 21, 2007 05:43 PM

"The Internet allows students to insult others in relative anonymity, and experts who study cyberbullying say it can be more damaging to victims than traditional bullying like fist fights and classroom taunts."

what ? somone plz explain this one to me !? i would think with the ability to use something like a "block list", it would be easier to get away from.

Quote:

I think this is ridiculous. Instead of punishing the ones who are doing the "bullying" they need to offer therapy for the ones that take it so seriously they kill themselves.
How does this make any sense ? Essentially, your validating that those bullying are ok and should continue, while it's those that take offense that are in the wrong and should change...?

I poked it and it made a sad sound Feb 21, 2007 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigHairyFeet (Post 396863)
I'm sure you have a much tougher exterior and interior than alot of these young elementary school kids, noone is debating that.

Thats how I actually GOT a tough exterior/interior. I got picked on a lot in high school for not shopping trendy or whatever.

The point is: Suck it up. Kids are cruel. You'll never make it in life if you can't handle petty name-calling. If you're having a hard time coping, maybe you should talk to an adult or a guidance counsellor if it's getting to be too much that you can handle as a kid.

Additionally, once again, no one is monitoring these kids while they're online. I'm sure parents are in denial about THEIR kid being a big, bad cyber-bully.

Bernard Black Feb 21, 2007 06:12 PM

It's a bit late for the P.S love, maybe you should've checked the Media section.

I personally take Sass's side on this one. I don't mean to be disrespectful in any manner but being called gay over the internet wouldn't be on my list of reasons to die. I've had worse and I know people who have had a lot worse, but we're all still here. I've never understood why cyber-bullying is so traumatising. So some faceless cretin is throwing names at you; why do you care so much? They're more pathetic than you just by using the internet to do their bullying. Try being physically stalked for months. That's enough to scare the crap out of you.

Leknaat Feb 21, 2007 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassafrass (Post 396859)
Jesus CHRIST. Enough with the babying.

If you're called "gay" or whatever in school, you better get used to it. Don't take shit so seriously. This is what school is ABOUT. Mean names shouldn't denote it's time to KILL YOURSELF.

NAME-CALLING. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

It's nothing new. Kids have been doing this since kids were...well, kids. Its just NOW, they can use MySpace and AIM to do it too!

And kids have killed themselves or gone ballistic and took guns to school as a result.

Remember Columbine? Those kids were picked on, and they had had enough--so they decided to take matters into their own hands.

I was picked on in school, and I wanted to kill myself, but I didn't because I realized it would piss them off more if I lived. That's what parents need to tell their children. Parents need to pay attention to their children.

And as far as the kid in the article goes: They were his classmates. So, I'm guessing that he not only had to deal with it online, but he heard it at school. Sure, it's easy to block a person on AIM, but is it as easy to block the person standing in front of you?

I poked it and it made a sad sound Feb 21, 2007 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leknaat (Post 396942)
Remember Columbine? Those kids were picked on, and they had had enough--so they decided to take matters into their own hands.

With all due respect Lekky, Columbine isn't a COMMON thing. Statistically-speaking.

Gechmir Feb 21, 2007 06:56 PM

We all know video games were behind the Columbine shooting =o

Omnislash124 Feb 21, 2007 07:17 PM

Jeez, what a load of bullshit.

Seriously, I doubt anybody kills themselves because of IMs and messages they've received from "bullies". Much less "Cyberbullies". I don't think anybody's that hypersensitive to what other people say, and I certainly don't think people are that ridiculous as to take such drastic measures.

I think it's clear and safe to say that the parents must not have been very good at all to let this go on for so long. Either that or the child is unbelievably quiet and didn't bring up a word about it. Either way, the parents should have figured that something was up.

Seriously, this kid reeks of "emo-ism". Who the hell in their right mind takes death willingly?

Douche indeed.

CelticWhisper Feb 21, 2007 07:20 PM

The cycle would go something like:

Bullying-->resentment-->pressure-->explosion-->Columbine-->fear-->misunderstanding-->paranoia-->reaction--
-->bullying-->resentment-->pressure-->explosion-->Columbine-->fear...

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Of course, what would help is for schools to actually PUNISH BULLIES for starting shit and support the kids who they're currently having too much fun expelling on grounds of sticking up for themselves. "Zero tolerance" laws are a great, big, steaming pile. But noooooooooo, we can't expel the high school football hero two weeks before the regional championships, can we? What ever would Coach do?

Honestly, though, cyber-bullying? Gimme a fucking break. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of XHTML can put together some shitty website ragging on a classmate. Anyone with a knowledge of CSS can do the same and it might even look less shitty.

Of course, anyone with a knowledge of port scanning, buffer overflows, and other exploits can turn the tables in a heartbeat, so I guess I shouldn't bitch too much. REVENGE OF THE NERDS, BITCHES.

Seriously, though, it bears mentioning that what kids do on their own time in their own homes is NONE OF THE SCHOOL'S GODDAMN BUSINESS. I remember laughing to myself when I had to attend a "mandatory" meeting for all first-years at my high school about their extracurricular disciplinary requirements. Basically it said that you weren't allowed to partake in any extracurricular activities (clubs, sports, etc.) if you were found drinking, using illegal drugs, etc. at any time, on school grounds or off. Of course, to those of us who just wanted to take classes at school and had better things to do with their day, like work or study more academics, the entire thing was a huge joke. Quote me studies on emotional duress, developmental psychology, or what-have-you until you're blue in the face, but as far as I'm concerned, anything that extends the power of schools into the home even one iota is unwelcome and needs to be shot down like a Titan missile headed for your favourite pub. Schools can do what they like on their own grounds, but once my kids are home, they are MINE and school officials can kindly fuck off.

Of course, while on the topic of my (would-be) kids, this all is to say nothing of the hell that will become their lives if I ever find them on the giving end of bullying, and my wrath is a thousand times worse than that of any high-school counselor, therapist, principal or other official.

...Damn. Now I see my lady's point about not wanting kids.

Leknaat Feb 21, 2007 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassafrass (Post 396951)
With all due respect Lekky, Columbine isn't a COMMON thing. Statistically-speaking.

My point is, those kids had had enough and did something about it. Some kill themselves, some kill others, some decide playing practical jokes work. But, they DO something that is NOT normal for them.

Like I said, living was the best revenge I could come up with.

I poked it and it made a sad sound Feb 21, 2007 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leknaat (Post 396987)
My point is, those kids had had enough and did something about it. Some kill themselves, some kill others, some decide playing practical jokes work. But, they DO something that is NOT normal for them.

Well, I mean, I hate to say this, but shouldn't the parents kind of communicated with their kids about school?

At the same time, some kids WILL take it to another level. But thats not the norm. The majority of us realize "yea, this is stupid" and get over name-calling and cruelty. I mean, how many of us look back and say "HOLY HELL, I AM GOING TO FIX SO-AND-SO for calling me a cum-guzzling FAGGOT?" I hope none of us.

And yea, these are kids. But name-calling (be it on the internet, in the classroom, on the schoolyard or on the bus) should not be taken as seriously as some kids take it.

Those kids should communicate to their parents (ESPECIALLY elementary school kids, since they're not rebellious teens who HATE their parents) that they're having some trouble in school.

Quote:

Like I said, living was the best revenge I could come up with.
Revenge is necessary for name-calling?

Skexis Feb 21, 2007 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassafrass (Post 396992)
And yea, these are kids. But name-calling (be it on the internet, in the classroom, on the schoolyard or on the bus) should not be taken as seriously as some kids take it.

Used to be if someone started shit with you, you'd just pop them in the eye, and then they'd leave you alone.

But kids aren't allowed to do that anymore. It's grounds for being expelled now. Which makes verbal abuse all the more tantalizing to a bully, and efficient as a form of ostracizing someone.

Leknaat Feb 21, 2007 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassafrass (Post 396992)
Revenge is necessary for name-calling?

I never said it was over name-calling. I said it was over being picked on. This included physical contact like spitting. Ever been spit on? Not only is it disgusting, but it's meant to degrade a person's self-esteem.

Which didn't work because I knew that I would leave them behind. I would live my life as I wanted, where I wanted. I am nowhere near my hometown. In fact, I'm 2 states away.

So, when I say I have my revenge, I mean I didn't let what they said get to me.

PS: I couldn't do anything to anyone because my mom was the truant officer....

I poked it and it made a sad sound Feb 21, 2007 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leknaat (Post 397014)
I never said it was over name-calling. I said it was over being picked on. This included physical contact like spitting. Ever been spit on? Not only is it disgusting, but it's meant to degrade a person's self-esteem.

I have. Not by classmates, though~

Quote:

Which didn't work because I knew that I would leave them behind. I would live my life as I wanted, where I wanted. I am nowhere near my hometown. In fact, I'm 2 states away.

So, when I say I have my revenge, I mean I didn't let what they said get to me.

PS: I couldn't do anything to anyone because my mom was the truant officer....
Physical fights aren't going to answer to anything these days, though. Skex is right - usually a throw down would work (in the old days), but its usually the weaker guys and gals who get picked on.

Depends on your maturity level, though. I mean, seriously. You see people calling others a fag, a dyke, a WHATEVER in school, you COULD stand up for them and risk being cast out yourself (have done). If you're the one being picked on, just ignore it - there's an entire "cast out" table in the cafeteria at lunch time. I am SURE a lot of folks here have been through this, since it's a huge community of huge NERDS. <3

But, I mean, if you're a little kid, why don't you tell your parents?

Leknaat Feb 21, 2007 08:04 PM

And let's not forget that the boy in the article was 13. In some states, that's middle school/junior high. In others, it's elementary school, eighth grade, and you're king of the school.

He was a teen-ager. By the age of 13, most kids are out of the "Mom! Johnny's picking on me!" stage, and try to deal with things their own way.

And Devo's right.

"Your mom talked to my mom. I'm grounded because of you! You think it was bad before? It's going to be worse!"

For all we know, the kids could have threatened him.

Interrobang Feb 21, 2007 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin (Post 396991)
I love how threads like this just turn into "suck it up" because really we're all e-badasses here on GFF. :rolleyes:

What exactly do you want us to say? Generic denouncement of bullies? Sympathy for someone who commits suicide over something that's ultimately trivial?

Are we supposed to all parrot out your opinion or what?

Skexis Feb 21, 2007 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Interrobang (Post 397027)
What exactly do you want us to say? Generic denouncement of bullies? Sympathy for someone who commits suicide over something that's ultimately trivial?

Are we supposed to all parrot out your opinion or what?

I don't think it was ultimately trivial, or he wouldn't have committed suicide to deal with it. There's a reason he was affected by this, and I don't think "Different strokes for different folks" covers it.

Interrobang Feb 21, 2007 08:08 PM

Quote:

I'm wondering where this attitude comes from that everyone has to suck up being treated like shit. It's this type of attitude that pertetuates kids being general assholes to each other.
I'm not sure I see the connection. Ignoring insults suggests only apathy for the opinions of other people to me.

Quote:

I don't think it was ultimately trivial, or he wouldn't have committed suicide to deal with it. There's a reason he was affected by this, and I don't think "Different strokes for different folks" covers it.
I imagine it depends on what you think is trivial, I suppose. I don't consider insults and social ostracizing important enough to stake your life on, but I can see why somebody else would, I guess.

Interrobang Feb 21, 2007 08:16 PM

I'm not sure what you're saying here. Does "sucking it up" lead to kids being assholes to each other or having breakdowns?

Radez Feb 21, 2007 08:23 PM

I think they covered this case on E! about the horrors of the internet not two days ago. The kid had a huge number of different screen names. The parents thought he was fine because he always spent a lot of time on the internet. So when he comes home and then gets online, no big deal. They didn't know there was a problem until after they read his chat logs, after he died. I know parents nowadays aren't exactly the most aware species on the planet, but I think it's going over-board to expect them to regularly invade the privacy of their children to the point where they monitor their conversations?

The problem (not saying it was a big one) was that these people at school were spreading rumors to the rest of the school. It's not like he was taking shit from just a few people, and given the number of screen names he created, it's reasonable to assume he WAS trying to avoid the harassment.

Another aspect that wasn't covered in the article was that this kid was trying to get some from the girls at the school. One in particular led him on and then basically told him he was a worthless shit. So, you know, not only is he being called gay, but now no girl will talk to him. He just hit puberty. I can see how that would suck.

Of course, I'm not exactly defending him. Just throwing some more information out there for all the snide comments about how easily this kid could have fixed things or how terrible the parents were for not paying attention to their kid.

Dark Nation Feb 21, 2007 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capo (Post 396785)
I think the "bullies" may have hit a little close to home.

Well that's to be considered as well, he may well have been gay and was confused or something about it.

... I'm sorta at an odd stance with this, on the one hand, he shouldn't have become an hero over some punk calling him a fag online, but on the other side, if there was a greater tolerance or acceptance of other sexual orientations, this probably would have never come up in the first place.

One clear factor that might have prevented this was parental supervision. A kid who just grew pubic hair and is cracking his voice does not know the finer nuances of internet trolling, nor would he probably realize (and this case IS different as it is also a problem for him IRL) that Trolls feed on pain, anger & all that.

Well, chalk this one up to Darwin I guess.

starslight Feb 21, 2007 08:43 PM

Nobody kills themselves to escape bullying, whether at school or on the computer. This kid did not kill himself because some assholes he knew were calling him gay. There is undoubtedly much more going on with this kid, just like there was with the kids who shot up their schools.

I'm not saying that bullying doesn't make things worse, but anyone who kills his or herself, or someone else for that matter, is dealing with bigger problems.

Skexis Feb 21, 2007 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starslight (Post 397054)
Nobody kills themselves to escape bullying, whether at school or on the computer. This kid did not kill himself because some assholes he knew were calling him gay. There is undoubtedly much more going on with this kid, just like there was with the kids who shot up their schools.

I'm not saying that bullying doesn't make things worse, but anyone who kills his or herself, or someone else for that matter, is dealing with bigger problems.

Junior high and high school seems like the world when you're at that age. You can try to make an argument that he should have been able to cope with it better (for whatever reason), but I don't think you can make the argument that it wasn't important to him, unless he was just grossly maladjusted to begin with.

Suicide is a way of dealing with situations in which people think there's no way out. If the only consistent locations in your life are home and school, and one of them is hostile, well...

starslight Feb 21, 2007 10:04 PM

Right, if his school life was hostile (and following him home in the form of "cyberbullying"), then his home life (his parents) should have been there to help him cope with it. Or maybe he had some mental health problems that went untreated. Who knows?

My point was that he didn't kill himself solely because of bullying, as people who accuse him of "emoness" or whatever ridiculous shit are suggesting. No one who actually goes through with suicide does so because they got dumped or because someone made fun of them. This whole "kill yourself, emo kid" thing is a load of bullshit that gives people an excuse to trivialize suicide.

Skexis Feb 21, 2007 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starslight (Post 397121)
My point was that he didn't kill himself solely because of bullying, as people who accuse him of "emoness" or whatever ridiculous shit are suggesting. No one who actually goes through with suicide does so because they got dumped or because someone made fun of them.

I'd like to think that everyone can take things in their proper context, and never become emotionally distraught over relatively small stuff, but the point I was trying to make was that it's possible for people to crash when all the small stuff adds up to seem overwhelming.

Quote:

This whole "kill yourself, emo kid" thing is a load of bullshit that gives people an excuse to trivialize suicide.
Agreed, though.

FLEX Feb 21, 2007 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassafrass (Post 396880)
Thats how I actually GOT a tough exterior/interior. I got picked on a lot in high school for not shopping trendy or whatever.

The point is: Suck it up. Kids are cruel. You'll never make it in life if you can't handle petty name-calling. If you're having a hard time coping, maybe you should talk to an adult or a guidance counsellor if it's getting to be too much that you can handle as a kid.

Additionally, once again, no one is monitoring these kids while they're online. I'm sure parents are in denial about THEIR kid being a big, bad cyber-bully.

Nuff said.

Most parents wouldn't even know their kids were cyberbullies and e-badasses.

Muzza Feb 21, 2007 11:14 PM

Cyberbullying, huh? It seems as if the father is just looking for a way to blame the internet for this, perhaps due to past cyberbullying? Ah, the troublesome circle of cyberbullying.

I think that kid was pretty unstable, as were his parents. They must have noticed something was wrong. And furthermore, if this kid suffered bullying at school as well...what the fuck are the teachers doing. Granted, most teachers handle bullying well, but there's a select few who do nothing.

Bullying sucks (never happened/happens to me, though). I hope this kid's life story has given all of those people around him a bit of a "wake-up call". Yes, he seemed a bit unstable mentally but you can't really blame him for that i.e. you can't really blame him for his own death.

Karasu Feb 21, 2007 11:31 PM

I think the big issue is this: Children need to stop fucking bullying.


This archaic form of arrogance and childish-ness needs to end. These schools need to push up the 'Zero Tolerance' rule to almost nuclear-like levels. To let these kids that do bully think that they are BETTER than another kid is appalling. Quite frankly the "kids will be kids" line is old, and if kids are like that then, well it needs to stop at an early age immeadiately, before it becomes a problem.

I'm not advocating what this father is doing, my real point is all forms of bullying needs to end, and the school and the parents need to ride these children who bully and teach them "You're not more special than that kid over there" Put those children in their place is what I say, instead of shrugging it off as 'adolescant behavior'. It's those kinds of kids who push on the little people, that become powerful fatcats who control the little people, and keep pushing them around even when their adults.


I'm sorry i'm sounding like i'm ranting or whatever, but the bullying stuff in every grade of school is really just something that needs to die off. We need to teach kids how to be fuckin' humble and learn to be equal...not be fuckin' arrogant and shit.

Such a Lust for Revenge! Feb 21, 2007 11:46 PM

I like how so many of us, with our comfortable lives (and being older and more experienced this this 13 year old) forget so easily what it was like to be that age. How much smaller your world seemed and how some us being tormented by bullies felt that was all there was to life. Imagine finding an escape on the internet from all this drama and shit directed at you just to find the same harassment online. Can you imagine what it owuld feel like to think you have the entire world closing in on you?

And fuck you and your "keep your chin up" spin. People that get bullied either grow up to be meek and timid or they're fucking pissed off all the time and will flip out on a person from time to time. Can you imagine what it would be like to be always angry like a shark that can't sleep because he'll sink?

Lizardcommando Feb 22, 2007 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leknaat (Post 396942)
Remember Columbine? Those kids were picked on, and they had had enough--so they decided to take matters into their own hands.

But those two were already fucking crazy to begin with. They planned their massacre months ahead of time. Bullying was one of the factors that fueled their hate towards the world.

The Plane Is A Tiger Feb 22, 2007 12:32 AM

I know he couldn't dodge them on MySpace, but why didn't he just keep messenger names that his peers couldn't know? It seems like cyber-bullying wouldn't be very hard to avoid that way. Still, I feel sorry for the kid. Having to deal with that at school all day is bad enough without coming home to find the same people making your online life hell too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karasu (Post 397208)
This archaic form of arrogance and childish-ness needs to end. These schools need to push up the 'Zero Tolerance' rule to almost nuclear-like levels. To let these kids that do bully think that they are BETTER than another kid is appalling. Quite frankly the "kids will be kids" line is old, and if kids are like that then, well it needs to stop at an early age immeadiately, before it becomes a problem.

That's a great thought, but ridiculous in execution. When I was in 8th grade, my last year of middle school, our principal was fired and there was a power grab between the three assistant principals. They took the zero tolerance policy to the extreme. You could turn another student in for making a veiled threat, ie saying "I'm gonna kill you for that" out of frustration, and it was likely they'd get in-school suspension. It didn't even have to be that much. A little teasing that even the teased person didn't care about? Suspension if certain teachers overheard it.

The result wasn't any sort of drop in fighting and bullying, it was just an increase in people suspended. If anything, bullying increased. The phrase "zero tolerance" became a complete joke to both students and any of the teachers that payed attention, and that only caused more problems in high school when the principal saying "We have a zero tolerance for violence or the threat of violence," received nothing but laughter every morning. If anything, it caused more people who were usually compliant to scoff at the administration.

Parents are the real source, and unfortunately there's only so much the government can do about bad parenting. Even if most people raise good kids, they can still learn the bullying behavior from from the others.

SouthJag Feb 22, 2007 04:15 AM

I don't recall the article mentioning how long this bullying (cyber or in school) was going on, but it likely became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. What the article doesn't mention is the language that was used by the bullies. It's one thing to be called a fag and that's that. It's another thing -- and this is something that 13 year olds don't truly understand yet -- to use the full power of words.

"Hey man, you're a fag and you should die." That's the kind of shit that'll make someone commit suicide. Hear that enough times, and kids going through that time in their lives will start to believe it. Also regarding the power of words and language, the Internet seems to be a far greater tool for retaining negative stimuli as opposed to the actual spoken word.

That old adage "get it in writing" applies nicely. To request something in writing means to have it permenantly engraved as fact. You write up a contract, those conditions are for all intents and purposes categorized into a "do it" or "don't do it" dichotomy. In the boy's case, having to see these words repeatedly (lest he closed the chat windows, but then they'd obviously just pop back up) reinforced what may have been written. In the most extreme case, which may very well be true, "fags should die" was probably the one recurring thought he could never banish.

Whether or not he was actually gay made little difference. It goes back to the self-fulfilling prophecy and the labeling theory. He was labeled as a fag for whatever reason, and after enough repetition from his classmates he began to believe it. Step one. His classmates, ignorant to how strong their words can be to someone who's insecure and already broken in, continually hound him with "fags should die" or something akin to that. Step two. The last step is simple and sequential -- he was labeled, reinforced, self-fulfilled and executed. The fag died.

As for what should be done? What can be done, really? When Jack Thompson hears about this, he'll be all over Rockstar's Bully saying that it caused the behavior of these children and made poor Ryan Halligan kill himself.

The article is correct about a couple things, namely the topic about norms. You can't really legislate these kinds of norms -- norms of politeness, courtesy, and nonjudgment. You certainly can't legislate them over the anonymous sector known as the Internet.

Shiny McShine Feb 22, 2007 05:32 AM

Quote:

The Internet allows students to insult others in relative anonymity, and experts who study cyberbullying say it can be more damaging to whimpering little pussies than traditional bullying like fist fights and classroom taunts.
Fixed.

Bullshit. If some guy punches me in the face at school, I'm gonna feel a hell of a lot worse than if some dude calls me a "faggit lolz" on MySpace. It would be more accurate if it simply said depressed emo teenagers shouldn't kill themselves because they can't deal with being made fun of.

Edit: Also, for anyone who uses the defense "they wouldn't leave him alone" or something to that effect, that's also bullshit. Any kid who spends enough time on the internet that he kills himself due to the sheer amount of times he's been called a fag, sure as hell has a grasp on common technology and can close a window and block a contact here and there.

Leknaat Feb 22, 2007 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starslight (Post 397054)
Nobody kills themselves to escape bullying, whether at school or on the computer.

Really? How about a few examples?

http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/cases.htm

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articl...28/ai_17382263

SouthJag Feb 22, 2007 06:01 AM

I don't get it, Shiny. Do you think that just because you can close a chat window you can end all insults coming at you on a daily routine?

In fact, it seems kinda backwards to say that. I'm calling bullshit to your argument entirely. For one, physical pain can be overcome. No big deal, right? Get a black eye? Just wait a few days and it'll be good as new. Broke a leg? S'cool, just get a cast and you'll be fine.

What seems to be misunderstood is the whole "fag" issue. Regardless of what the bullies called him, the kid was still being hit multiple times on a near-daily basis with negative reinforcement. If you go in to school and everyday someone punches you in the arm, you'll eventually not feel it anymore. Doesn't work the same way with verbal insults, at least not for all teenagers. Some have emotional wells that run infinitely deep, but hear this -- they're in the minority.

I don't know how well this example'll work, but here goes. When I was 13, which was 11 years ago, my parents divorced and my mom and I moved from the north part of the U.S. to the southern part. I started 6th grade in a brand new part of the nation (to me) with brand new people in an environment I was wholly unfamiliar with.

For me, 6th sucked ass. I was constantly hounded about being from the North, so much so that the mere location of my birth became an object for insulting me and it wasn't very fun. Granted, I didn't threaten to nor kill myself, but still the fact remains that for no other reason besides my place of birth, I was made fun of immensely. To the same degree, I think they were jealous because I still had all my teeth intact, and still do. Ftw.

Times have changed dramatically. Boys, especially teenage ones, don't have the same size emotional well as teenage boys did back in the 70s or 80s, or hell even early 90s. Whether or not this kid was in fact homosexual is not the issue -- reinforcing a negative stereotype on someone is damaging.

Shiny McShine Feb 22, 2007 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthJag
I don't get it, Shiny. Do you think that just because you can close a chat window you can end all insults coming at you on a daily routine?

Okay, let me try to make my point a little clearer. From what I read of the article, the kid killed himself because bullies from school were calling him names on the internet. So, he was called names on the internet as well as at school. Next...

Quote:

In fact, it seems kinda backwards to say that. I'm calling bullshit to your argument entirely. For one, physical pain can be overcome. No big deal, right? Get a black eye? Just wait a few days and it'll be good as new. Broke a leg? S'cool, just get a cast and you'll be fine.
Touche. However: Have you ever broken your leg? It's less of a "Throw a cast on the bitch and it'll be fine" and more of a "Holy fuck my bone just cracked this is the worst pain of my life". Also, emotional pain can be overcome as well. Maybe not as quickly or as healthily as physical pain, but I know that there are some things in my life I thought I'd never get over and I did. It may have taken a couple of years but depression is something that can be worked out of, if you've got the willpower and strength to pick yourself up and move on. This kid obviously did not posses that willpower.

Quote:

What seems to be misunderstood is the whole "fag" issue. Regardless of what the bullies called him, the kid was still being hit multiple times on a near-daily basis with negative reinforcement. If you go in to school and everyday someone punches you in the arm, you'll eventually not feel it anymore. Doesn't work the same way with verbal insults, at least not for all teenagers. Some have emotional wells that run infinitely deep, but hear this -- they're in the minority.
I realize that everyone is different and we all have our own tolerance levels to certain things, but please don't try to seriously back a kid who killed himself because people were making fun of him. He obviously needed help and wasn't getting enough attention. It's obvious this "e-bullying" was going on for some time, unless somebody wants to tell me next that he killed himself after a week, which at this point wouldn't entirely surprise me.

Quote:

I don't know how well this example'll work, but here goes. When I was 13, which was 11 years ago, my parents divorced and my mom and I moved from the north part of the U.S. to the southern part. I started 6th grade in a brand new part of the nation (to me) with brand new people in an environment I was wholly unfamiliar with.

For me, 6th sucked ass. I was constantly hounded about being from the North, so much so that the mere location of my birth became an object for insulting me and it wasn't very fun. Granted, I didn't threaten to nor kill myself, but still the fact remains that for no other reason besides my place of birth, I was made fun of immensely. To the same degree, I think they were jealous because I still had all my teeth intact, and still do. Ftw.
Well it seems like you and I have been through much of the same. There's a town slightly smaller than the one I live in, about 9 miles south of here called Mendocino. I went to the same district of schools my entire life, Fort Bragg Unified. Born and raised here. The kids from Fort Bragg and the kids from Mendo don't particularly like each other, and while it's not quite the same as dealing with it at school every day, living that close can change that quickly. It was not uncommon in grade school to be walking down the street and be called a "Fort Fag" and have something thrown at you, be flipped the bird, or, in the absolute worst of situations, get a full on shot of somebody's ass hanging out the window. And yes we'd get irritated, and yes, our feelings would be hurt; but we would not kill ourselves over it.

Quote:

Times have changed dramatically. Boys, especially teenage ones, don't have the same size emotional well as teenage boys did back in the 70s or 80s, or hell even early 90s. Whether or not this kid was in fact homosexual is not the issue -- reinforcing a negative stereotype on someone is damaging.
The point I'm trying to make is, no matter which way you slice it, bottom line is this kid killed himself because he was being bullied. Whether he was being bullied a little or a lot is irrelevant. Being bullied is a big part of growing up and so is learning to deal with it. Apparently some people just weren't equipped to handle it.


Anyways, it's 3:30AM and I am extremely tired. I hope I got my point across without sounding like too much of a douchebag.

Leknaat Feb 22, 2007 06:36 AM

Hasn't anyone here ever heard of the phrase "mental cruelty?"

In divorce filings, mental as well as physical cruelty can be listed as reasons for divorce--since it's a form of abuse.

If this happened to a woman and she killed herself because she wanted to end the pain of the abuse her husband was causing her, we'd say--"She should have killed him. It would have been justified."

Sorry, folks, when you suffer repeated mental abuse, your self-esteem goes out the window and you do the only thing that makes sense to you. To end the pain, you remove the source--yourself.

JammerLea Feb 22, 2007 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthJag (Post 397398)
In fact, it seems kinda backwards to say that. I'm calling bullshit to your argument entirely. For one, physical pain can be overcome. No big deal, right? Get a black eye? Just wait a few days and it'll be good as new. Broke a leg? S'cool, just get a cast and you'll be fine.

Just because I also found the "cyberbullying worse than physical bullying" part to be hilarious, I have to disagree with this. Just because it's physical, that doesn't mean that there's no psychological damage. If it hurts and was done ON PURPOSE, there's likely going to be a fear of it happening again. Even abused dogs who go to better homes may still cower in fear if someone just raises a hand, it's not something that's easily forgotten.

I don't happen to find one or the other to be worse (though I probably lean more towards physical since, y'know, people can be killed and stuff). Bullying freaking sucks, and if they can't control the physical/verbal bullying, I highly doubt they'll be able to control this cyberbullying.

The main problem here is that the kid did not know how to deal, nor could he find a method to escape, which shouldn't be that hard to do on the internet IMHO. It's a pity, but what can one do if the kid wouldn't talk about it? And I do agree that that's the age where (most) kids don't want to bring up this stuff with adults. Eh, it could be a number of reasons.

It should be a part of growing up and learning how to deal with the world, but it doesn't work out that way with everyone. It's sad for those of us who made it past that and onto better things because we know there are better ways to handle it. It's really frustrating to hear when someone else can't.

This is definitely something that the parents should take more interest in for their children's sake, and talk to their kids about it. Like they do about drugs and sex. As if bullying ONLY happens at school. Pfft. I really don't think it's the school's fault.

Omnislash124 Feb 22, 2007 07:16 AM

Bullying Physically and Bullying on the internet are COMPLETELY different. Physical Bullying can only go so far, but come on, if you get agitated easily over bullying online through IM or MySpace, you already have problems to begin with. First of all, you're taking the world online WAY too seriously. What

Sounds like the kid took it into his own hands anyway since nobody else seemed to be aware. The most logical thing to do would be to talk to somebody about it. I assume this kid had some friends or something. Talk to them, parents, teachers, counselors, whatever. I'm sure it would have avoided suicide.

JammerLea Feb 22, 2007 07:31 AM

Yeah... I'm not gonna say that cyberbullying and physical bullying are the same, it's just... hard to say which is worse. It really depends on the individual.

For me I'd personally find physical abuse to be worse, because I've learned not to care about what some asshat says to me. But I can easily see where it can be the other way around, especially if all one wants is acceptance.

Logic... if only more people had some of that. Lawl.

Such a Lust for Revenge! Feb 22, 2007 09:33 AM

I just want to say that if I got a lot of shit IRL from people and then came to, for example, Gamingforce just to have some more shit happen it would get to me. Me, personally now, I'd just leave if it was that bad and not take it too much to heart. But I can't expect everyone, especially a 13 year old, to think like me and it does become more of an issue then just "leave the places they are bothering you at or change your name." At some point people in those positions begin to question why the fuck it is they have to be the one to get fucked with so much and they either do nothing, they kill themselves because maybe the world is right and the world doesn't need them, or they lash out.

starslight Feb 22, 2007 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leknaat (Post 397397)

I've said this more than once: yes, bullying makes things harder for kids. Most kids get bullied at some point in their lives, and VERY few kids known to be bullied kill themselves. My point, again, is that bullying is not the sole reason for their suicide. It is absolutely a problem, but if a child is mentally unstable enough to commit suicide then it is not their biggest problem.

Every kid gets bullied, and every kid needs a support system (their family) to help them deal with that. The children that kill themselves either lack that support system or have some serious mental health problems that go unnoticed or untreated.

Skexis Feb 22, 2007 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shiny McShine (Post 397413)
The point I'm trying to make is, no matter which way you slice it, bottom line is this kid killed himself because he was being bullied. Whether he was being bullied a little or a lot is irrelevant.

ô_ô

No, I think that's the whole point, here. He felt like nothing he did made a difference in how people were going to treat him. Otherwise he wouldn't have committed suicide. Obviously I can't tell you why he wasn't able to get away from them online, but it seems clear that he wasn't. His body in his grave is proof positive.

If someone calls you a failure/fag/etc occasionally during your developmental years, you might shrug it off. If someone (or in this case, many people) do it constantly, it starts to seep in where it might not have bothered you before.

Bottom line: I don't think any one of us takes suicide lightly under normal conditions. It's much easier to underestimate him in this case than to question why he might have thought it necessary to end his whole existence.

JammerLea Feb 22, 2007 05:41 PM

I hate when some jerk gets new screen names just to see if anyone blocked them.

Maybe this poor kid tried changing his screen name, but had crappy friends who ratted him out? Who knows, it's possible. Sometimes people who you think you can trust have no respect for privacy.

Omnislash124 Feb 22, 2007 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin (Post 397674)
I think it's obvious by now the kid had multiple name changes, and it didn't matter. It's not like it was just cyber-bullying. As many have said, imagine getting shit at school, then come home and chillax on the internet, only you can't chillax because the same assholes are hounding you. And for every time you block someone, they register a new name. Or for every new name you register they find out about it.

Those who proclaim he could have just ignored it are probably ignorant to his age, the amount of harrassment and the degree. It's so easy to sit here on GFF of all places (the bastion of negativity) and say "oh just ignore it." Anyone who is going to sit here and tell me that they were secure in their identity as a person at 13, is frankly full of shit.

That may be so, but still, to contemplate suicide because of it is definitely not natural. Maybe I too, don't understand the degree to which this kid was harassed and bullied, but still, suicide is not a common solution among 13-year olds. There was certainly something else that also contributed. Most kids by this time have usually fit into a group of friends somewhere at school, which, personally, for me, was refuge from wherever bullies may have struck. And if nothing else, the parents should have been there or, if it struck at school, the staff surely would have done something about it.

This is assuming that the kid had the courage to talk to somebody about his problem. Now if he didn't, then I don't know. I also have to wonder how long he put up with the shit thrown at him already before he finally snapped.

As for being secure in my identity at a young age, I'll admit I wasn't, but I was still able to shrug off verbal punishment thrown my way by bullies. If you just ignore them, bullies lose interest and find another victim. To be bullied for an extended period of time means they got a kick out of it and continue to do it, which usually boils down to the kid attempting to argue with the bully.

Whether or not that's played a part in my current state of introversion, I don't know, but still, bullies bully others because they find enjoyment in doing it, or they're getting something out of it.

Bernard Black Feb 24, 2007 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin (Post 396921)
They aren't faceless, they're his classmates. Seriously, do people just skip over the article or what? They're getting away with abuse they can't get away with in class.

I was talking about the general idea of internet bullying; I did read the article otherwise I wouldn'tve bothered making a post. Also, I'm talking as someone who has never had any experience of cyber bullying. No one every specified what it is.

Shanks Feb 24, 2007 08:54 PM

.............................

splur Feb 26, 2007 02:41 PM

Kids are weak these days. And it just seems to get worse and worse. Even though back in the day it wasn't any better, kids wouldn't commit suicide but rather grow up to become serial killers or rapists.

I hate going into the suicide argument because people always say "It's depression! He was unstable and he had no choice. Family problems, bullying, personal problems. It's a chemical unbalance, it wasn't his fault!" Fuck you with your bi-polar bullshit, that's no excuse. I've been through all of that and back, I'm not 6 feet under am I? I'm just afraid for the next generation of children because suicide rates seem to be soaring, not only in America and not only due to bullying, but all over the world. It seems to be the "new escape".

And bullying doesn't only happen in elementary school. It happens constantly and kids need to learn to deal with it properly. What good does it do to make it against the law in school? It's just sheltering kids from the real world and what will happen when they get bullied when they're adults? Walk into work with a sawed-off? Or "oh no!" maybe he'll commit suicide later when he has a family.

Snowknight Feb 26, 2007 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splur
Kids are weak these days. And it just seems to get worse and worse. Even though back in the day it wasn't any better, kids wouldn't commit suicide but rather grow up to become serial killers or rapists.

Right, because we need more serial killers and rapists in our society!

Quote:

I hate going into the suicide argument because people always say "It's depression! He was unstable and he had no choice. Family problems, bullying, personal problems. It's a chemical unbalance, it wasn't his fault!" Fuck you with your bi-polar bullshit, that's no excuse. I've been through all of that and back, I'm not 6 feet under am I? I'm just afraid for the next generation of children because suicide rates seem to be soaring, not only in America and not only due to bullying, but all over the world. It seems to be the "new escape"
You do not possess the authority to speak for another person's emotions; your triumph over your own emotional issues does not permit you to show disdain for those who are, for whatever reason, unable to do the same. In the boy's mind, that "bi-polar bullshit" was sufficient cause to kill himself. Again, one cannot know or explain the emotions of another unless it becomes possible to become a perfect copy of that person.

Quote:

And bullying doesn't only happen in elementary school. It happens constantly and kids need to learn to deal with it properly. What good does it do to make it against the law in school? It's just sheltering kids from the real world and what will happen when they get bullied when they're adults? Walk into work with a sawed-off? Or "oh no!" maybe he'll commit suicide later when he has a family.
I agree that children need to learn to cope with bullying after a certain point, but I fear that you are overlooking the age of the student in this case: this could've been the result of bullying over all of his past education--"something's gotta' give" eventually: one can only ignore something like that for so long at the age of thirteen. Does that mean that I feel suicide is justified? No, but the "suck it up" argument does not work.
Furthermore, plenty of people that have "walked into work with a sawed-off." For the third time, you cannot control the emotions of others.

JammerLea Feb 26, 2007 04:10 PM

What ARE the rates for suicide these days are compared to the days of other generations? I'd like to see the research on that just to see if it is/how drastically different it is now.

Hydra Feb 26, 2007 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splur (Post 400982)
...people always say "It's depression! He was unstable and he had no choice. Family problems, bullying, personal problems. It's a chemical unbalance, it wasn't his fault!" Fuck you with your bi-polar bullshit, that's no excuse. I've been through all of that and back, I'm not 6 feet under am I?

Bi-polar bullshit? Go educate yourself. If you'd really been through "all of that and back" you'd know better.

splur Feb 27, 2007 01:40 AM

Actually Snowknight, you're right. I was out of place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydra (Post 401505)
Bi-polar bullshit? Go educate yourself. If you'd really been through "all of that and back" you'd know better.

Yes, I do know better. And people use being bi-polar and/or depressed as an excuse to other things more than just suicide. It's gotten to the point where people find reasons to BECOME depressed or BECOME bi-polar. So not only suicide, but being classed as depressed seems to be an escape as well. "He became extremely violent towards family and tried to kill himself. But he's depressed so it's OKAY." No, it really isn't okay. I'm just sick of people using it as a scapegoat in arguments. I won't go into personal examples because you'll just bash it down like you so swiftly did with my previous one.

munchkin13 Feb 27, 2007 01:12 PM

It seems like an ok thing in theory, but I don't see it working out. It infringes on freedom of speech.
Sites like myspace and that could be made to 18+ sites, but then kids would just lie about their age to get on to it. Sure there are ways round it, monitoring their age etc but would a company go along with it?

It is wrong that cyberbullying occurs and it is sad that the boy killed himself over hurtful taunts by fellow classmates. Wonder how they feel about it.

However I don't think cyberbullying should be on top of the list when it comes to sorting out internet problems, child porn etc should be delt with first. In my opinion anyway.

roko-dono Feb 27, 2007 08:01 PM

The father's actions were heart-warming but honestly, cyber-bullies? Who the hell came up with that? Sounds like something from Arthur or like...Magic School Bus.

The Wise Vivi Mar 1, 2007 11:29 AM

Lol on the Magic School Bus. Anyway, yeah... I understand his pain, but guess what, it just another thing that life throws you. People seemed to have gotten so used to being protected that when something bad happens, they look for anything to blame. Its kinda sad. Life is a hard thing and can be very unfair. I think his child had more problems than just internet bullies. If he didn't like the bullies, he didn't have to use the net, or he could just clean his old identity and start over...


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