Partners with lots of history!!
 

I just started dating someone, and its been just over two weeks now and i just found out that he at the ripe old age of 17 has had 42 previous relationships!!! which makes me number 43 and I have had 4 before him. For one I am the jealous type so immediately I was jealous for things I didnt even know about for some reason he keeps on bringing up his past 2 exes and there is some dark stuff in his past that is just hard to listen to and he just says it in passing "oh thats the spot where i got handcuffed" "thats the police station where I was nearly stripped searched" "this time last year I nearly Over Dosed" I guess i feel a bit innocent i mean he has had a LIFE and what I went through high school got average grades then passed. And when i see his friends I always feel like they tread softly when they talk about him there are pauses and eye contacts and "well I better let him tell you that...." The truth is I dont want to know. Is that selfish?? I mean its been two weeks I dont feel like carrying the burdens of his life. And is is it reaaly that important to know every minute detail of somebodies past to be able to have a healthy and long lasting relationship with them? cause I am scared that one day he will sit me down and tell it allllll to me, i dont even know how to react to hearing things like that am I supposed to comment? to just sit quite and look at them with a :( expression. And to top it off there is a slight tone of superiority when he does bring up some of the bad stuff hes done, like I havnt experienced anything.... but I reaaally like him hahaha

43 partners? Sounds like bullshit to me. Infact most of that stuff sounds like bullshit or the guy's a complete retard. He's probably trying to impress you.

I was getting ready to say the same thing. Guy's a liar. Don't do it.

He sounds pretty desperate to get you to like him too.

I'm not trying to insult you, because I can TOTALLY see myself when I was your age in you. Always going after the bad boys. But seriously, does this guy have anything going for him? I honestly can't even see why you're even interested in someone like this. He's been in trouble and has the audacity to believe he's somehow better than you because of it, he doesn't have the good sense to stop mentioning his exes, plus, he's obviously a liar.

At your age I would have had fun with this guy and thought about the consequences later, but being older and wiser I can tell you that this guy is throwing up some serious red flags. I'd run for the hills if I were you.

43 partners and he's 17?

Either he's a HUGE fucking liar or he really has had 43 (including you) partners - which is a good indicator to get the hell out.

Are we talking sexual partners? Because that right there says one thing to me: If you plan to do anything with this guy, make sure you get some tests done beforehand - the both of you.

If he wants to brag about 43 partners, maybe he should get checked. Turn it on him.

I work with a guy like this. Every shift I have with him he's telling us about some new chick he's banging, and how naaaasty she is. How baaaad she is. How aaaaawesome he is.

He's full of shit, just like your friend. Either that or, from the way you tell it, he's an unsavory sort of character, far from through with his evil ways. The two of you need to be disillusioned from the idea that going through people like they're fruit snacks is something to be impressed by. I'm an echo, but run for the hills girl.

Edit: Remember, Grease is a story. Don't expect your Zucko to join the baseball team for you.

Yes, because all people who have multiple sexual partners (not necessarily at the sametime) are all nasy, unclean, unscrupulous, filthy, dispicable people. Not only should you distance yourself from them, but you should also leer at them, look down your nose at them in public.

Fucking Christ, give me a break.

You know, coming from some of my experiences in life, especially in a large city with a huge "underclass" it's really not that hard to believe that he could have a few run-ins with the law. As for 43 sexual partners, he's probably exaggerating. His stories are more than likely exaggerations, but whatever.

I'm not advocating irresponsible, frivolous sexual encounters, but there are ways to do it and keep yourself safe and clean. I get regular check-ups and blood draws, as the military has a vested interesting in making sure that all of its property remains undamaged and clean. Also, trimming/shaving helps against the transmission of certain diseases. Condoms, the pill, there're tons of reasonable contraceptives available to people under the age of 18.

As for a relationship with this guy: If he's had 43 partners at such a young age, what makes you think he's gonna stick around for long? Also, if he's lying, he obviously has no self-confidence. As for his supposed criminal activity: what kind of things does he get busted for? Is he abusive to other people? If you're not comfortable with that, then I suggest moving on.

Leonheart, I think we need a bit more info before coming to a conclusion. Are you a gay guy?

ROTFLMAO 42 partners. Hilarious.

Generally, one should try to not think of the background story of one's partner. It's pointless and also quite painful in my opinion. In my current relationship my girlfriend has "been with" some of my friends previously, even. That's pretty hard to deal with to be honest, but the best thing to do is to think of the present and the future rather than the past since it can't be changed anyway.

43 isn't 100% IMPOSSIBLE NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

Just because YOU guys don't get laid doesn't mean that this guy doesn't.

Saaaay he started dating at age 13 that's just over ten partners a year. Not that unreasonable considering when kids are that young they tend to go from person to person fairly quick. I mean, he's probably exaggerating, but 43 isn't exactly the world record for homeruns.

Well, either way, if you still consider going out with this guy have you tried talking to him? Let him know that you aren't interested in his past partners as he is going out with YOU not with THEM anymore. And let him know never, ever, compare them with you. I remember I mentioned about my exex to my ex bf before and he got helllllllla mad >___> ever since that I never mention about my exex anymore. <.<

Leonheart, got one phrase for you:

"Why are you wasting time on this guy?"

MetheGelfling, yeah I am a gay guy and hes clean Ive seen his test results haha. I seem to be getting mainly negative responses from this forum but i kinda hinted that I dont wnat to hear about the exes and yeah he didnt bring them up for the first time which was a welcome relief. And yeah i was also wondering how long he expects this to last and its febuary now and hes saying I should help him plan his birthday party which is in OCTOBER ive never even dated anyone that long. And i think we was mainly busted for substance abuse... maybye I will take the shallow route and just have fun with him, but i really wanted something long lasting...

You can't take the "shallow" route if you want a long lasting relationship. It just doesn't work out.

Feelings will eventually attach themselves and you'll fall for him like ditz. You either cut him off now or never.

You can't change the past, but it sure is helpful in predicting the future. There's so much you can learn from someone based on their past. Certainly, people can and do change as they mature, but usually not so much that they become a completely different person.

And how the hell can you people scoff at 42 partners? That would be nasty beyond belief for someone my age. THIS KID IS 17. I stand by my position that it's either a bold-faced lie or this is the nastiest, most disease-riddled whore who ever wore socks.

If this guy has really had 42 past relationships then get the hell out. Theres no way that your relationship is likely to survive. You could just be another notch on his belt. Plus think of off all the stuff he could throw in your face if you decided you didn't want to do something. "My 4th relationship girl would've done it" it's not fair on you to have to rey and put up with this crap.
But seeing as he's only 17 it does seem a tad strange for him to have had 42 relationships. They obviously can't have been serious ones. I think he's more then likely lying about almost everything he's every told you just to impress you. it's not right or fair to you.
Get out of it and find some one else whose not such a liar/ whore.

For what it's worth, I also think he's lying. His behaviour is inconsistent with his story: he's asking you to do stuff for his birthday which is 8 months away! That really doesn't sound like someone who has an average of more than one partner per month (assuming he started at age 14, just under 1 per month if he started at 13).

Could you actually remember 42 separate people?

Hmmm, now that RR reminds me of it, I actually can't remember much about 42 separate peoples, unless they all happens to be clones of each other on some level.

You must have a shitty memory.

It's a relationship that lasts one night, kind of like a single serving friend! :tpg:

That is true. But it's very easy to get hung up on details which serves as little more than to make you depressed (of course I can only talk from experience). So while the past shouldn't be ignored (personally I'd stay away from anyone who has had 42 partners, regardless of age actually) it shouldn't be dwelled too deepily on either. :S

Most of the gay guys that I know have had a number of partners before they reached the age of 18 or 21. I knew a guy who was 19 who would date guys in their 40's who would bring him to swinging parties and orgies. I'm sure he racked up a large number of sex partners. From what I've seen (and I don't mean to be offensive in any way) gay men have a tendency to be a lot more promiscuous than heterosexuals.

The most important thing is that the guy's clean. If that's the case, and you trust him, then go nuts I guess. Although I can't imagine anybody gay or straight who's had 40+ sexual partners looking to settle down. Past behavior (especially since he seems to kinda brag about it) is the best way to predict future behavior. I wouldn't get your hopes up about taming this guy.

In the words of Ice Cube:

"So chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self
[Ice] Cause big dicks up yo ass is bad for yo health"

Be careful.

Thats pretty much what I was gonna say. While it is concievable that he might have had 42 other partners, the fact he knew he had exactly 42 is unlikely at best.

I just wrote another 2 paragraphs and then realised I'm only reiterating what others had said. So, er... go with them. :eagletear:

Heh. Chickity-check yo self... :eye:

Okay I am gonna confirm that 42 number since he did tell me that when he was drunk. But now I realise that hes been hurt alot and been cheated on heaps so that could explain the high number... But yesterday we went out with a few friends and he was like genuinely sweet and there was no mention of his past and he was concerned that i was gonna cheat on him (he told my best friend) and when we are the festival 2 of his exes were like right near us!!! And he just wanted to get away from them, I think initially he was trying to impress me but now he knows that i dont wanna hear stuff like that. Im enjoying being with him more and more and i kinda lost my virgnity to him so i wouldnt want it to end yet.

Looks like you're not exactly the type that can take advice. Wahaha...

He was "like genuinely sweet?" And how did you "kinda" lose your virginity?

I guess he only "kinda" popped his cherry, considering males generally lack a hymen.

Unless they consider popping your cherry to be tearing your asshole and thus bloodletting.

42 partners or relationships? Because to be honest, i went through women like water during my HighSchool days- Date a girl for a few weeks then "meh"..

But 42 sex partners... He's a huge liar. I'm a whore and I haven't reached that number. I'll tell you that much. He's trying to make himself seem over experienced. I would say, if you want to really be with him... Tell him.. "I want to know if you what you say if true or not... b/c it sounds pretty out there"

Or just drop him.. if he's lying to impress, who knows what else is he will lie about? Right?

Its Over
 

Okay i ended it, and of all days VALTINES day!! We had a few drinks and then I asked him if he was a slut and he said he was a whore and said the night he met me there were 2 other people he was considering leaving with and ONE of them is one he has repeatedly told me he doesnt like and does not find attractive but that he was going to sleep with him that night!!! It just made me sooooo mad as if i am gonna feel special to him at all if thats the way he lives him life and i asked about the 42 figure and yes he still stands by that number of relatiionships and on how many ppl he has had sexual encounters with he claims to be over 110!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay if its true YUK and if its not what a bastard to keep lying to me! So thanx for your advice cause i probably would have stayed with him haha if i didnt have this nagging feeling "but all those ppl said...." so you have saved me from heart ache cause im happier now!!

Thanx for caring!!

Shouldn't it be 43 now?

I'm not surprised he has 42, or more gfs, since how he's playing u naive little girls so nicely.

I think the guy is just trying to impress you, either that or just trying to start a conversation to find out how many relationships you had.

I almost lost "it" to a guy who, the next time I visited him, said that he had had over 100 partners before.

I've decided that if a guy can't count his "partners" on one hand, I'm gonna boot him out the door

43 relationsihps is a lot when you are only 17. But only if they were monogamous relationships, which considering the way the guy sounds, is probably the case.