Dealbreakers
 

I guess most of you will remember the dealbreakers thread from about a year ago. I decided since we lost everything and it had been a while anyway, I'd start the thread again.

In this thread, discuss the things that are absolute dealbreakers for you in a relationship. For those of you who don't know what I mean, a "dealbreaker" is something that a person does (usually in the very beginning of a relationship, but not always) that causes you to break it off with them for good.

I'll post mine later, but an example would be you're out on a first or second date with someone and you catch them picking their nose and are so horrified that you never go out with them again. Or it could be something less obvious, but still something you just can't handle, like finding out that someone is extremely rude to servers.

What are your dealbreakers?

I don't like girls that don't smile. Girls with a long face all the time is a no-go.

Put simply, ADD affliction is a terribly negative trait; one which I cannot stand.
If a gal says she cannot read books because she just can't pay any attention to them, or they are too big, or whatever, then I figure I have no business messing with her.
This of course excludes a lot of girls. But hey, that is a good thing. At least I don't have to worry nearly as much about all of my "options."

I like to keep things loose and act sort of silly a lot of the time, so a girl who doesn't "get" that or isn't receptive to that is pretty much not worth the effort since I wouldn't really get to be myself around her without her thinking I'm retarded or something. So not "getting" my humour would be a dealbreaker. Most girls I've met enjoy it though, so I'm alright.

Aviator sunglasses. I mean, like, HELLO??

When a guy sticks to me like velcro and calls me 6 times during a 24-hour period. It's awfully hard to get things done when your phone is ringing off the hook because the guy has too much time on his hands.

Girls who suffer from the "hedgehog syndrome" are a turn off for me. Whenever you say something that seems to violate their personal space, the spines shoot out and they start barkin`. I usually joke around a lot so I get a lot of people getting offended by me for whatever reason because they think that I`m being serious. I`ve noticed that the people who take it "the wrong way" are usually people who didn`t like me much in the first place, so why bother? If they don`t get my humour, then screw `em. Life`s too short to waste on people who take themselves too seriously. Everyone who has a even a little sense of self-distance will know that I don`t mean any harm with my jokes. Hey, they might even think it`s funny, laugh, and make a similar joke about me.

To sum it all up; I`m not very fond of people who get offended easily. Dealbreaker #1.

Edit:

Adding hairy legs and armpits as dealbreakers in the event that the girl refuses to shave them. Dealbreaker #2.

Adding girls who call themselves "feminists" when they really just want to subdue all men on the planet for "what we've done against them in the past". Plastic feminists.. *urgh* Dealbreaker #3.

Adding really, really bad breath. Dealbreaker #4.

Adding big hands and feet. Dealbreaker #5.

A woman with no life of her own. Any girlfriend of mine needs her own network of friends to have a good time with. I'm not always going to be around to be the life of someone else's party and/or daily life. Girls who seem to sulk when I'm not present and then expect for me to single handedly make up for their entire day's worth of self pity are a bore. I can take some responsibility for her emotional well being, but not all.

A woman with no aspirations. If my girlfriend isn't going somewhere with her life academically or professionally, I just won't deal with them. Not for very long, at least. I don't want a woman to become financially dependent on me in the long run. I want her to have options so that I have options if push comes to shove. I've seen too many married couples (to include my own parents) stay together for the sole reason of survival.

This reminds me of a poem by Maynard James Keenan.

If she presses charges and tries to get a restraining order after the first date.

Because then I'm legally committed under the threat of the law to never see her again!

:p

Inability to get an erection, I guess.

I haven't dated at all, (>_>) so my scope of dealbreaking is kinda small.

But, if I were to date, I wouldn't be able to handle a guy who:

Is overly clingy
Doesn't understand my need to practise. (I guess one way to solve that is to date a musician. lol)
Is rude.
Thinks he's funny, but isn't.
Doesn't like to read.
And.. is overly religious.

OK, the last time I posted my dealbreakers I got in big trouble, but here goes:

- Having no self-confidence...biggest turn-off ever. That's even worse than being stupid, IMO, which brings me to the next item:
- Stupidity. I could never go out with anyone who wasn't intelligent. (When my husband and I first started dating, I wasn't all that attracted to his looks, but he was so smart. <3)
- Smokers. I can't kiss a smoker.
- Cursing a lot. You just don't do that around a lady - call me old-fashioned.
- Bad skin and/or teeth. I'm not extremely picky about looks as long as a guy is comfortable in his own skin, but I draw the line there.
- Rudeness to servers - that says a lot about a person.
- Being dirty. If a guy's hair is greasy or he has long, dirty fingernails, I lose all respect.
- Poor grammar. I don't care if your IQ is 155. If you can't speak properly, don't bother.
- Excessive drinking. Seriously, what kind of guy gets drunk on the first or second date?
- Aviator glasses

Keep in mind that my dealbreakers only apply to brand new relationships. Some of these things (like being dirty) are inevitable. But on a first or second date? Nope.

My deal breaker? Alice. Seriously. Just Alice. Personality-wise, we would never ever mesh. But this is hardly a new revelation. However, the people I don't get along with are people who make lists of "deal breakers" and include stuff like aviator glasses. OMG SENSE OF FASHION, HORRIBLE. However, if my girlfriend looks half as good as her at, what are you now Alice, 50? I'd be happy.

Shut up, Deni. If I liked big, hairy rude guys and you liked uptight old chicks the planets would align and the world would forever live in harmony. Can't we just get along?

But seriously, I have this thing about aviator glasses.

P.S. I'm not 50. ;_;

Girls who don't laugh and just say "That's so funny!" instead. Man.

P.S. I know. Therein lies the joke. :poke:

No, we can't just get along, because the planets would align and everyone would live in harmony. Then what would I do for fun?

Confidence, intelligence and cleanliness all seem like pretty universal must-haves to me. A good attitude (as vague as that is) is another must-have. I mean, who wants to go out with an asshole?

Disproportional build. Ugh. I saw this chick the other day and she was probably 3 feet wide at her shoulders and a foot wide at the hips. NO.

Horse faces. Call me superficial, but I've seen some gorilla-lookin' bitches that I wouldn't touch (let alone fuck) to save humanity.

Hairy women are just no-noes. I mean, c'mon.

Excessive laughing. I'm not dating 12-year-olds (I hope), so don't act like one.

I'm fairly laid back about these things but if someone was incredibly stupid, or had no drive or determination to make something of herself, i'd quickly lose interest. Additionally, if she was rude or callous towards others, that'd piss me off too.

For lack of a better word, I'll use the crude one, posers. The guys who like to act like they're tough and hardcore and all this jazz when they really are not. I, frankly, find it hilarious, kind of self depreciating and a bit patethic. I'd rather someone be a bit awkward and gawky but genuine and sincerely themselves, I find a lot more attractive.

Also guys who don't work hard. If you're complaining about school all the time and not doing your homework and talking that the professor has it out for you and your manager at work, it shows me you're not a real go getter and just like to complain when things don't go you way. Stop bitching and start doing something, it's frustrating when men act this way.

Otherwise if they are themselves and genuine, no amount of nose picking would bother me. Well, maybe a little. And sweaty hands. And messy eating. Otherwise, everything is peachy.

Why? The better you know what you don't want (even if it's arbitrary stuff like aviator glasses (which are great, by the by, but I guess I already went over that in the previous thread)), the more likely you are to get exactly what you do want. High personal standards are nothing to be ashamed of.

The lack of a sense of humour and intelligence are big no on's for me. Also Being uptight and or easily offended as I tend to piss those sorts of people off within 5 minutes and I can't really stand them either. Converty religous types are bad too but people can be whatever as long as they don't badger me and everyone else about it.

They can get a little naive though.

And uh, "the pickier you are, the more likely you are to get what you want" is startlingly naive.

Well, being naive is working out pretty well for me, so I won't argue with that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you like and dislike in a mate. Also, there's not a lot you can do about it if you don't like certain traits. Sure, you can try to supress your preferences and hope for the best, or you can just spend the extra time finding someone you don't have to work your ass off to like, which is (I believe) a better option.

If you happen to be pickier than most, well that's your problem. You'll just have to be happy with the fact that it's probably going to take you longer than most to find your ideal mate.

EDIT: I really didn't want to turn this thread into a debate of whether dealbreakers should exist. It's a thread where you LIST your dealbreakers. And if you don't have any, then you're a pathetically desperate loser with no standards who will take anyone he can get.

Uh, threads that consist of nothing more than lists are consider spam, so... are you sure?

I'm not saying you shouldn't have standards, but if your "must have" list is 100 entries long, then you're in for some disappointment. I live with a guy who can't be satisfied by anyone he meets. He's single and in his mid-30s and he can't stop saying how much he should have stayed with this girl he was engaged to 10 years ago who he broke up with because at the time he didn't know what he wanted.

There is no working relationship without compromise. And yeah, I guess if you're picky it is your problem. But it goes without saying that people would do well to learn to tolerate others as much as possible, whether you're speaking of romantic relationships or otherwise.

You'll notice that everyone's list includes an explanation of why they hate that particular thing, so that rules out spam.

And yes, there's definitely such a thing as being too picky. I can personally tolerate a lot more distasteful characteristics in someone I'm not going to be having sex with, but that's just me.

Also, I have two more things to add to my list, and I can't believe I forgot these:

- Someone else already mentioned it, but someone who is too clingy/calls too much/dotes on me constantly/seems obsessed. It's too icky.
- I couldn't date someone with a "grill." (Wow. I sound really white.)

Here's what I think. Why don't people focus on the positive? Instead of having "dealbreakers", why don't you just figure out what you want and deal with the rest? That is basically how I am, and it's working out pretty well.

You're missing the point.

The point of a dealbreaker is that it's something you can't overlook. Of course it's important to focus on the positive, and it's a fact that if all you concentrate on in a relationship are the negatives it's never going to work, but dealbreakers are basically hurdles YOU PERSONALLY can't overcome enough to get on with a relationship in the first place.

Are you honestly trying to say that there's nothing a girl could say or do on a first or second date that would make it so that you had no interest in dating her again?

No, I understand perfectly. I just think indulging pettiness is not particularly constructive or inducive to true happiness.

You didn't answer my question.

That's because you edited after I posted.

No, I'm not saying that. But none of my "dealbreakers" are petty. She can wear what she wants, scratch her ears, use whatever language she chooses, etc. I'll judge her by her personality.

And before you open your mouth, looks are not a dealbreaker. You're not even going to start a deal with someone you're not physically attracted to, so that doesn't count.

So you do have dealbreakers. Yours just aren't as "petty" as mine. Also, I already said that (to me) looks aren't necessarily a dealbreaker.

The point of this thread is to find out what everyone's are. If yours are so much more meaningful, that's fine. But for heaven's sake, post them and stop bitching about mine.

I'd like to get back on subject. I've thought of another Dealbreaker.

The silent type. I'm constantly expressing ideas and feelings and openning up to feedback. I can't be with someone who isn't capable of the same openness, honesty, and trust. Heh. I took my last girlfriend to see 'Corpse Bride' to hint that she was being limp with me. It turned out to be pretty good. That was the last thing we did as a couple before breaking up.

I love to know what's going on inside a person I'm with. That's what being 'more than friends' is about. That's my biggest hang up of all. She just wasn't confident enough in herself. She would always tell me that it doesn't matter what she thinks or that it's pointless to talk about her feelings or views. I did everything I could to become comfortable with her isolated intellect. Now I know better than to bother at all.

Wow people have quiet an eclectic taste but this itself is good...for you can't just always be "free for all"

Personally, I can't stand constant swearing or too much make up all the time (I wouldn't mind make up depending on the event or such)

I don't know, these things seem to bother me for some reason. Guess it is just me

I can learn to love a person with just about any traits, but I can't feel attraction for anyone who is shallow. If all they think about is themself, the television, and supper .... then they disgust me. My siblings are like that. They drive me nuts. They spent their evenings chowing down on potato chips and watching movies, it was revolting. I still love them. But if a guy has no depth to him .... that's the dealbreaker.

My guy picks his nose and has bad breath, but I can forgive him for that because he is so intelligent ... which is like the biggest turn-on ever.

You must be so proud.

I get the feeling that you've never had a dry nose before, Alice. I mean, at some point, blowing just doesn't do much, and you gotta pick it, whether you have a tissue handy or not.

#1. Women who like to feel empowered at the expense of everyone else. Examples of this would be the raucous little troupe of commentators at your local theater. If I wanted to know if you were feeling tense, or if you hate this movie so far, or if you don't like this part or if he shouldn't look behind that door I certainly wouldn't ask you to tell everyone within 20 yards of you. And if hints at this kind of obnoxiousness result in "I didn't talk at all! What are you talking about?" you can fucking forget it.
Another example would be the woman who thinks that she will date me so that she can change all the things she doesn't like, because obviously she knows what is best/is perfect/does not need to change whatsoever. Whether or not I have bad habits is not the point. It's the way you go about it, trying to control me rather than enter into a partnership with me.

Aaaand, that's pretty much it.

Edit: Intelligence I would say is a pretty big part of what I want in a woman too, but since I usually look for women who have a reasonable amount of intelligence in order to go out with them in the first place, it's not really a dealbreaker so much as a requirement.

Hrm, lessee.

Unfounded arrogance. People who are arrogant just because they've got a nice body, or alot of money, or they go to a good school, or what have you. Arrogance especially based on looks is a huge turn off. I'm ok with being mildly arrogant because of your intelligence, though. I'm always attracted to incredibly smart guys, and it's rare to have great mental capability without having some sort of pride attached to it.

Lack of intelligence is naturally a dealbreaker. If you're not at least as smart as I am, forget it. I'm just not attracted to people who can't challenge me mentally.

99% of the time, being shorter than I am is a dealbreaker. It's not a conscious choice, but I'm so self-aware around shorter guys that I can't imagine getting over it enough to date long-term.

Drug habits, alcohol dependance, connections to organized crime--all deal-breakers. Really terrible personal hygene, dealbreaker. Formerly a woman: dealbreaker.

That's all I can think of.

Extra points if you wear aviators and aren't a little poser bitch.

You do know that models are generally required to be 5'9" at the least, which means they're going to have big hands and feet, right? Would you turn down a date with Heidi Klum just for her feet? I doubt it.

Haha big hands and feet. Damn that's shallow.

Double Post:
I guess I should add that I don't really do well with girls who don't say a whole lot. I'm not the most talkative person around, but I am really talkative if I've got someone around who is somewhat talkative.

I'm talking hands that match the hands of men and feet that match the feet of Bigfoot here. I'm not very fond of models either. And, quite frankly, if Heidi Klum had man hands I would turn her down in a heartbeat. I like my women short anyways(not too short though).

I have a right to be shallow when choosing my mate, good sir. :biggrin:

Someone who generally doesn't have a sense of humor. I enjoy conversations that have a lighter side to them. The level of humor may not be identical to that shared by close friends and I, but it should at least be there.

Someone with an excessively foul mouth. There's no reason to let out swear words when simply engaging in everyday conversation.

Well, I hope you're happy! You just ruled out Denicalis!

My list keeps getting longer and longer...how I ever found a husband is beyond me, but I just thought of another one:

Someone who isn't a gentleman. For instance, if we went to a restaurant and he walked ahead of me and didn't hold doors, or ordered before me, or just dropped me off without walking me to the door afterward. That might not be a dealbreaker, but I PROBABLY wouldn't go out with him again, unless he was pretty much perfect otherwise.

Alright, guys. Last night, I courted a nice young woman I fancy. She was extremely receptive. She's everything that I'm aware that I look for and has none of the dealbreakers that I'm conscious of. She is very refreshing after a five month stretch of singlehood. She's a Christian-raised girl with an established set of morals and values; something I never cared for until after my two last girlfriends respectively cheated on me and did coke.

I'll let you know what breaks this one, in the event. :love:

Has anyone thought about what might be a dealbreaker about you? Anyone here have unbearable hygiene and know they need to change? Not to derail the topic of course, but as a footnote.

Wow this might be a fun twist...hmm

I am too quiet, I guess. I don't really start talking much until others talk.
Even then, I hardly give my opinion. Though I am not shy, just a tad err polite I guess? (I prefer letting others talk before I do)

HOW ABOUT YOU Hydra? (You brought it up hahah)

I'm hyper. I pounce. I have situational humor. If you don't like high energy and randomness, I'm not for you.

Girls that are too serious and stressed about everything.
One time, I was with my girlfriend in the kitchen, and I used a fork that had touched a piece of raw meat on a cooked bit of meat by accident, and she just went friccin' mental about it! Now that's the sort of nonsense I can't stand! Little things like that lead to an eventual break-up : )
Oh, and if a girl is as tall as I am, then that would be VERY bad, for me.

You know, if this were real life, your obsession with him would undoubtedly end with you two fucking. Large amounts of conflict usually lead to large amounts of sexual tension.

Ooooh, fun! Yes, I've spent a great deal of time thinking about that, and I am guilty of tons of things that some guys would HATE.

I am horribly old-fashioned, I'm vain, I overspend, I flirt with other men, and I probably talk too much.

Now that would be hilarious, although I'd have to turn off every light in a 10-mile radius and he'd probably smother my bitchy ass with a pillow afterward.

It's interesting that you think you can determine personality without having to understand anything they're saying. Also, clothing and physical habits help build the picture of what that persons personality is, don't dismiss it as irrelevant.

You must be so proud to be such a cunt.
Honestly, that was the cuntiest move I've ever seen.

"This thread isn't about debating." "It's a thread where you LIST your dealbreakers."

Big deal, his/her girlfriend/boyfriend picking their nose and having bad breath doesn't bother them. Who cares if it bothers you? You're not dating her.

Stop being a snide cunt.

What movie?

I guess my only real dealbreaker would be if whoever I'm dating was a drug addict. I don't know why, I know plenty of people or have had friends in the past who were regular pot smokers, shroomers, probably into crack and saliva, and they were all fine people... But my ex (ha ha!) did pot and I just put my foot down on that shit. "YOU'RE NOT DOING THAT WHILE I'M DATING YOU SO PUT THAT PIPE AWAY FAGGOT"

Otherwise, nothing really bugs me too much. I'm sure my passive-agressive behavior, feigning of ignorance or general lack of opinion probably drives people nuts, but it's not like I'm not an independant individual. I just don't speak up unless my opinion is wanted or needed.

Mostly I just hate listening to myself talk so, you know, I won't.

Apparently you're not only a cunt, but you're dumb as AIDS.

I said "MOVE".

Go up and read my post. Maybe put on your glasses, you crotchety old hag.

Requesting split for the Sewers, just to see more of this.

You've sure got a lot of rage.

I hear that for some people, frequent displays of intense rage would be a dealbreaker.

Oh shit. My bad. It's past my bedtime and apparently I've lost my ability to read.

FYI - I am crotchety and old, but I'm not a hag. Get your facts straight if you're going to insult me.

Dealbreakers for me would be---
1. Bad hygiene. Sometimes the smell of your partner is very attractive, but there's a line, and that line connects the shower head to the water supply!
2. Lack of self confidence. I like a girl who is bubbly and talkative, likes to have fun and generally is very forward and approchable.
3. Smile. If she hasn't got a nice smile, I'm not attracted!

My own dealbreakers... Really it's all about finding a girl that just likes/loves you AND your flaws. But I suppose, from the general jist of the thread mine would be---
1. My drug use and drinking. I'm not an addict by any means, but I do take Pills, Coke and MDMA, and I do drink when I go out, and sometimes get very drunk! But saying that, I only really do drugs when I go to big Drum & Bass nights, and that only happens about once a month!
2. My swearing. I swear quite a lot, but it's not like I'm incapable of having a conversation without swearing. I just like to use swear words because I see them as an extension of the language. Also because when I make a point I quite often want to put as much fucking emphasis on it as I shitting well can. :D
3. Some people find me a bit overwhelming (so I'm told) and I have a tendancy to be very excitable and over the top, but really I'm just a playful little thing!

Russ, baby.

Girls love the rage in the bedroom.

Intense and passionate. Who could ask for anything more?

Double Post:
Maybe you shouldn't post if it's past your bedtime. Senior citizens need all the rest they can get. I wouldn't want you to trip and fall and break your brittle old hag hip.

Do you think I care about what you are or aren't? Do you think I'd honestly take the time to get to know you?

Psshaw, you're worthless.

Why are you here again?

I'd like to ask you the same question.

Reznor, either fix your attitude and stop being a whiny little shit or leave.

HAHAHA! As if I'd let you get to know me if you wanted to.

This is LeHah's schtick, and you're going to have to come up with some other insults besides "dumb cunt" if you're going to keep up with him. You've worn that one out, dickless.

Now post your dealbreakers or GTFO.

Kudos, madame. Laughed out loud at that, I did. Though nadi is right. We're clearly secretly in lust.

P.S.

Who is this guy and why is he biting off LeHah and myself like this?


P.P.S.

ALICE. GET THE HELL OFF MY LEHAH MOCKERY BRAINWAVE.

I guess you're right, Styphon. I'll quit before I get StyphOWNED.

I like how people can be so ruthless to the new people like Reznor for example.

It took me an entire year for me to build up my rep.

It's not easy being new.

So which dupe is it? Any takers?

Try, I've been here just as long as LeHah.
You know who I am, trust me.

I'm not ripping off anybody's schtick.

A name change does not make me a noob.

Do you think Tails or TEAM AWESOME would've made a thread (in memorial) about my banning, if in fact, I was a noob?

Think again, you have a brain, use it.

As for dealbreakers,

I can't deal with somebody who tells me they'll do something and never follows through. This is a major. Even if it is a minor thing, like say, giving me a call, I get annoyed. My friends know not to tell me "I'll give you a call" and instead say "I'll probably give you a call" if in fact they don't know if they'll call for sure.

Double Post:
Deni, you know who I am, exactly who I am.
I've been here as long as you (IIRC) and you'll think to yourself "Why didn't I figure that out" when you find out who I am.

I'm not biting off anybody.

I would say Rasputin, but he didn't hate me. =/

Anyway, if you're openly admitting to being banned, why are you still here?

Well I can't think of anybody who is near as much of a dick as my boy LeHah... so I officially lose interest until the truth comes out.

I was banned when GFF came back up. Check the banned members thread.

Double Post:
Depends, Deni. Can you keep a Canadian secret?

EDIT: Just thought of another dealbreaker, extreme immaturity. I cannot deal with that either. Hyperness is fine, as long as the girl isn't always hyper. If I wanted to date somebody that reminded me of a little girl, I'd go out and date a little girl.

Of course I'm right. What else would I be? =p

I kept the secret of our secret stores of maple syrup powered hockey-rockets hidden under Halifax harbour, didn't I?

...

Fuck.

Almost... Thank God you kept the secret about our glorious women and how American women pale in comparison.

Sup VG.


A dealbreaker for me is a woman who is closeminded in the area that is my career discipline at school right now. A girl who knows nothing about music and likes crappy boybands would drive me to distraction since I couldn't deal listening to that all the time.
Another dealbreaker is IQ. It's shallow, but I like a girl with her wits about her.

It's definitely not VG. He's my home fry.

(I think it's Ritley? <<)

Are you sure you don't want to be oozing irony when you list your "dealbreakers" there, Sparky?

Who the shit is Ritley? I think I would have at least heard of someone with this much hatred toward me.

Why would you think Rasputin or Ritley?

What is it with people thinking anybody who's names begin with "R" are Retarded.

Double Post:
Don't ask me. Never heard of the guy myself.

Besides, I don't believe I ever said I hated you. That would be giving yourself too much credit.

Is this Pom~?

I'm pretty sure it's Pom guys. Isn't it obvious?

Maybe it's S&M. I heard he hates everybody.

Come to think of it, you're both probably right. No one could possibly be this condescending to the point of thinking that his hatred is not worthy of ANYONE.

It is a sad day for narcissists everywhere. :(

How is it obvious? Pom was waaaay more eloquent and articulate than this dipshit.

lol that's a lie.

You're not underage.

I think it's TV's Patrick Duffy.

Anyways, enough about me guys. I love the attention and all, but we have a thread that needs to be put back on topic.

What about stories of girls that you dated, that ended up CONCEALING your dealbreakers 'till later on in the relationship?

Pom? Eloquent? What?

I don't recall POM ever being this much of a dick, at least in passing.

That's how I know I'm safe!

Sorry, VG.

There was this one girl that I went out on a couple of dates with. She was cool but she kept on harassing me on MSN and crap all the time and this was when I was extremely busy with university stuff. She just didn't get it and it drove me up the wall.
I guess someone who demands a lot of time is a dealbreaker for me just because of how hectic my life can be.

Dealbreakers, folks.
Or stories of CONCEALED dealbreakers.

Double Post:
Man, I had a girlfriend who ended up being CLINGY as fuck.
I dropped the hints left and right. She fantasized about marrying me and even told me we'd get married. I told her "No, we won't." She became clingier after that, as if that would make me love her.

I planned on breaking up with her...

Anyway, I ended up telling her "I love you. I want to marry you." We had sex, she fell asleep. I stayed up all night and when she woke up, I told her, "I lied. I think we should see other people."

Sure it was a dickish move, but hey, it got rid of her.

Hmmm one thing that bothers me is unnecessary swearing. That is one turn off hahaha forgot to mention X_X

I went out with this dentist a few times who I wasn't at all attracted to but let's face it - he was a dentist.

Anyway, he had this SUPER annoying habit of dropping brand names. Like he'd call me and say some cheesy-assed line like, "What do you say I drop by and we'll take a little spin in the Miata?" or "I'm just gonna go home and change out of these scrubs and into my Tommy Bahamas and I'll be right over."

Dumpsville, population one (him).

To me, namedropping is this arrogant way of trying to pick someone up. It's like say "Hay baby, I may be a dick, but I have money.".

As if any self respecting girl wants to be an expensive prostitute.

I don't get these people who are all about not being with people who use drugs every now and again. "Oh. My. God. He did marijuana once last month. What an addict." However, nastiest concealed dealbreaker ever? Girl and I go out for six months. We get together, we fuck, no real commitment... it's awesome-town. And then one day her cel rings, she picks it up and answers it. She has to go. That's fine, I figured she was dating someone else because of how on the DL she kept the two of us. Yea, I hear about three days later that not only is she married, she's married to my english prof. Railed her even harder after that. Fucker gave me a 79.

Hahahaha. HOOOOO BOOOOOY.
I don't think I'll ever have a story to top that one. Not even on my deathbed.

You good sir, win 500 internets.

Let me guess, she had no ring?

I hope "demands a lot of time" is beyond the scope of her trying to message you on MSN, because if it isn't it was probably just a case of you not really liking her in the first place.

Which brings me to my next dealbreaker actually. No offense to you, because I have no idea how your relationship was compared to mine. I can't stand people who are too busy for their significant other. I can understand the need for space, and how being clingy isn't so good, but when a girl tells me "sorry I just have so much homework (etc), I can't hang out" for the fifth time in a row, why the hell is there a relationship in the first place? If you don't have the time for the person, why pretend like you want to be in a relationship with them? If they were a priority in your life, you would make time for them, period.

I'm a 100% believer in the idea that you make time for the things you want to do. You can always trace what you spend time doing down to a motivation; a motivation that you feel is more important than the motivations for things you don't spend time doing. For me, relationships are an equal if not greater priority than school or work. I'm not saying this is the wisest of choices, but it's what I intrinsically value in life.


I can't tell if you're lying or not. For your sake I hope you are.

Hey, it's just as valid of a dealbreaker as not dating someone who wears aviator sunglasses is!


ALIIICCEE >=U

Yeah man. Marriage is kind of a dealbreaker for me too. I dated this girl from Bakersfield for about 7 months too and then one day she just wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me, "Charlie knows about us."

???

"Who the fuck is Charlie?"
"My husband"

You. Have got. To be. KIDDING!

I left that night and I never so much as stop for gas in Bakersfield on my way to L.A. anymore. That town left a bitter taste in my mouth... In more ways than one. :/

Double Post:
Whether he's lying or not, it's fucking genius and you can't deny it.

She started wearing the ring after I found out about the marriage. It worked for me. Like I said, I really hated that prof. As such, seeing his wedding ring blurred as his wife worked over my dick? Fucking genius.

Were you at least tempted to yell "HOLY FUCK! CHARLIE IN THE TREES!"?

You know... Right about now, anything else to say would have been better than, "Wait... Are you serious? I um... Gotta... Go."

I went out like a punk bitch. :(

Seriously. In that instance, you just bust out the "Hory Fuck! You must be Kidding. You are one rame chick." Engrish is the ultimate diss.

Deeply seeded anger issues much? Seriously, it sounds like this story should end with "Then I strangled the bitch to death and poured her blood into my profs coffee one morning as I said with a smile, 'This is how your wife said you like your coffee."

No, I liked -her-. She was fantastic. I didn't like him, so fucking his wife made me happy. It's not like I raped his daughter for revenge. I just didn't stop fucking his wife after I found out they were married. Apples and oranges.

That's because it might've been incest. :love:

O SNAP. Fall brings the funny to this party, I see. And no, she never got pregnant. Literally. Not even with him.

However, another dealbreaker story. I go to a party, I get hammered, I go upstairs with this girl and we start fooling around. I rock out with my cock out, she jams out with her clam out and we get it on like Donkey Kong. Two days later, it happens again. Third day comes around and, with my tongue buried inside her she says "I think you should know, you'll always come second to Jesus Christ in my life." I fucking laugh. Har har joke, right? NO FUCKING JOKE. SHE PULLS OUT THE BIBLE AND TELLS ME SHE CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE LIKE SHE DOES. My classy reply? "Wait, what? I know Jesus chilled with prostitutes, but what the fuck?" And that's why Deni is the Casanova of our age. His ability to sweet talk the ladies.

Funny story. A buddy of mine married that girl three months ago. He thought she was a virgin. She'd fucked two of the guys in the party. We don't have the heart to tell him.

LOL. I don't even know what I would say to that shit. Something like "I hope Jesus Christ is your name for my penis."

Seriously, people who are desperately Christian are a sad folk.

You mean the fact that you'd already reamed her three ways from Sunday didn't cross her mind before she pulled the "Jesus" card? Oh that's fucking classic.
:tpg: :tpg: :tpg: :tpg:

You know, a chick who will pull out a bible while a guy has his tongue in her twat is just plain scary. And would surely be a dealbreaker for me if I was giving a guy a bj and he whips out the good book.

Good lord, that just blows my mind someone would do that in the middle of sex.

No, people who say they are Christian and have no idea what it means are sad folks.

I think that's what he meant by "desperately christian", oh ye crusader of Christ.

Exactly what scared me. Not that she was religious. That's fine. Religon is great. Keen, even. Jesus is my homeboy. But when it's all "Do you know we have a common friend? Jesus Christ?" That shit is FRIGHTENING.

Yea, that's basically my definition for desperately Christian, they're in it for Heaven, not for how to live their life. The mentality is "Oh shit Jesus is watching this guy eat me out, he'll be angry and not let me into heaven. I better make it a threesome with the Lord! *gets Bible out*"

See... It's posts like this that REALLY make me wish that we had a thread specifically dedicated for "Quotes out of Context" from the boards themselves, not IRC. :tpg:

Pure heretical hilarity gold. XD

If the girl mentions or hints to the fact that they dislike videogames... The connection is pretty much over right then and there.

Oh man girls who like to participate in stupid activities that guys like (i.e games) are truely solid gold...for it shows flexibility and willingness to accept new things.

You do realize that the majority of girls don't like videogames, right?

Where exactly are you getting your impeccable figures and percentages, oh wise one?

I think Google.com.
I believe he used his fat fingers to look up these statistics.

Yes, the lack of actual numbers only adds to the integrity and credibility.

Definitely not a breaker, but I've just come by the fact that my gf is the 'never been kissed' type. She claims to have been but the pudding is a different flavor. This makes my life a speck more interesting. What do I do, guys and gals? I've never been in this situation. How might I go about this nonchalantly?

Are you saying your girlfriend claims to have been nailed, but doesn't seem like she has? Did you ever consider she may just be awful at whatever it is that tipped you off?

I said kissed, not nailed. But a virgin she is, which is off subject and something I won't discuss. I'm wondering if I should stop diving in and wait for her to come out of the box. I think that might give her the impression that her lack of experience has caused me to lose interest, though. But I don't want to keep embarrassing her when I do move in. All in good fun, we laugh it off (but she doesn't seem to be improving).

Wow. That's the soundest possible advice, coming from a woman. Appreciated and set in motion.

Double Post:
Heh. I was just taken by surprise. I spoke too soon. :p

The ultimate dealbreaker for me is when the women I go on a first date with expects me to pay for dinner simply because, “I am the man.” I hate this, a lot.

Why, it's just money? Typically when I've dated girls, we just alternate who pays for what. I could care less if I have to be the first one to pay. Although, I don't really do this official date thing, where you go out all fancied up and then if it went well you go on another date. It's more like, "hey you wanna hang out and do something tonight?" I like stuff more laid back.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the idea of paying for a date I don’t like. It’s the attitude of the female in this scenario. The way I see it, if I barely know a person, why the hell should I be required to pay their expenses? If a female agrees to go on a date with me, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that she wants to get to know me. As far as I’m concerned, unless there’s already some type of history between us where we willingly do things for one another, a woman expecting me to pay for the entire first date is roughly the equivalently of me expecting them to give me head on the first date

We’re not even on that “level” yet.

One time I went on a date and the waitress asked us, should I split the bill? And I said "of course." Then the bitch gave me this look. Never bothered talking to her again.

I have to agree...when a girl like, expects you to pay, its not something I like because, if its a first date, you aren't commiting to anything, you're just spending some time together to see if something clicks. If its like a 10th date or something and you two are going out then why not treat her, just don't make it seem like you're trying to get something out of it, which, now a days is a bit hard.

I just thought of another dealbreaker. A guy who asks me out on a date and is then too cheap too much of a progressive thinker to pay for the thing.

I'm so glad that I repulse you Alice.

But for the hell of things, what if you asked some guy out to dinner? And yes, I've had girls do this before.

In that case, I would fully expect to pay. But I'd never ask a guy out.

Oh and also, you don't repulse me. It just seems that we have completely different opinions on everything.

So you basically think the initiator of the date is responsible for the bill?

Then, what happens when there’s no clear cut initiator? More than often, when I end up on a date with a girl, it's not a clear cut "hey can I take you out" kinda deal. More of mutual agreement that we should get to know each other better. Also, what’s so ‘progressive’ about expecting someone – that you barely know – to handle their own weight? I’d replace progressive thinking with flat out common sense, but I might be retarded.

You do realize that traditionally men have paid for dates, right? I believe this practice originated back when men were pretty much always the breadwinners, but it's still something that a lot of the more traditional women expect. I'm of the opinion that whoever asks the other person out is responsible for paying the bill. If there's any uncertainty at all about who did the asking, I think the man should step up and pay. It's just good manners. And just because you didn't technically "ask" someone out, doesn't mean that you weren't the pursuer.

Keep in mind that I'm only talking about the first few dates. In an established relationship where both people have jobs, I don't think it's fair that one person has to always pay for everything.

My rule is that if I can't afford to take a girl out to dinner, then I shouldn't be going to out dinner with a girl. If I can't afford to pay the bill, then I am not in in a financial position to be dating anyone. Regardless of whether the girl asked me out or I asked her out, by god, I'm paying for everything on the date. That's just how it is and how it should be. I mean my god, what kind of person would I be if I squabbled over 15 dollars for a meal or 10 dollars for a movie ticket or whatever amount for whatever activity?

Yes, as a relationship progresses and both parties are capable of footing the bill, then I don't have a problem letting the girl take me out occasionally. But even so, I still end up paying for things more often. That doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother me.

You do realize that it was also 'tradition' for women to submit to and obey men, don't you? It was also 'tradition' and 'good manner' for us black folk to not even think about touching a white women. You don't just go and fucking keep the stuff that benefits you when they don't make any damn sense.

My problem is with the utter lack of any reasoning, not paying for something.

I still believe that. I wouldn't be married to a man who didn't respect and ask for my input on things, but most of the time when we disagree on something, I defer to him since he is the head of the household. There are times when I dig my heels in, and when I do that he knows I mean business, but as a general rule, I trust his ability to make decisions. It's one of the reasons I chose him.

I don't think interracial relationships are such a great idea, and not because one race is better than another. More for the same reasons that I don't believe that having a relationship with someone outside your religious faith is a good idea. Too many cultural differences.

Basically, you and I have COMPLETELY different beliefs. There's no point in either of us trying to change the other's mind. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

fixed.

And Alice, I will let this go one day, I'm sure... but right now, too good for me not to milk.

Though inbreeding might account for your daughter's taste in men. She may be borderline retarded.

I have considered the possibility.

As far as the inbreeding goes, my bloodline is just too superior. I couldn't risk tainting it with inferior blood by marrying outside the family.

Dealbreaker: Try to make me into a cake daddy and you may as well get ready to find a new guy the next day.

Personally I think it's good manners for men to pay for the first couple dates, I was taught its the mark of a good gentleman. Because I always associate when I'm out with my guy friends, we'll go dutch but when I'm with a possible boyfriend or on a date, he pays for me to show interest, that's he's different from a "friend". I'm more traditional that I like a guy taking care of me. Some girls hate it when guys pay for dates, not matter what the circumstances, I have a friend who always insists on paying for everything to impose her sense of independence right from the start of a relationship. These are the same girls that don't like it when guys open doors for them. Because it's just so offensive.

My dealbreaker: I'm compulsive. I can't stand it when my boyfriend comes to my house and moves my shit around or makes a mess. I'll start fights over it and I have. I'm also so really moody, a small little thing could mess up my day and I'll be awful for the rest of it. It is managable if the guy knows how the manage it and not make it worst, but 80% of the guys I've known have not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to change how you see things. I’m just pointing out how mine actually makes sense while yours do not.

Since Alice won't/can’t, can you enlighten me on why its good manners? I can’t seem to figure it out.

At least outside of "I just want things to be like that logic." Which I find sickening.

Can't you read? I already explained that traditional women still believe that it's primarily the man's job to pay for things/be the primary breadwinner/take on the role of the head of a household or leader of a family and WHY THEY STILL HOLD THOSE BELIEFS.

As Kat explained, not all women expect those things, and some are downright offended by that sort of behavior.

I happen to be very old-fashioned. Why is this so hard to understand?

"Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to change how you see things. I’m just pointing out how mine actually makes sense while yours do not."

Like russ said, if a guy can't fork over $20 for a dinner, then how can he afford to be in a relationship. I'm no good digger but I want to know a guy can take care of me, or more so willing to. This is just ME, some girls don't like so it's not some universal conspiracy. It's personal preference more than anything else.

Just like some cultures think it's good manners to take off your shoes when you go into someone's house, some cultures/people think it's good manners for a man to pay for the woman. My mom taught me that way, I agree with it, the end.

And Alice, is your husband your first cousin (parent's sibling's kid) or is it a more distant.

Alice, if you can read, you would realize that I don't understand the WHY DO THEY BELIEVE THAT part of the traditional women. “Because it’s tradition” is not reasoning, or should I say, it’s very very bad reasoning. But I guess I just have to accept that some people don't incorporate reasoning into their beliefs.

Kat, let’s assume for hypothetical purposes that you go on a date with a guy like me. Remember, money isn’t my issue at all; it’s more so a personality conflict that’s my problem. IE, avoiding women like Alice.

And no Alice, I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way. Let’s get real here though.

Does the idea that the guy doesn’t want to pay for the first date has any realistic connection to his ability to provide for his potential family in this instance?

In the context of first dates, it is "fair" to go dutch on a date but I don't think relationships are necessarily about what's fair and what's not fair. It's always a give and take, and I want to make sure that the man is willing to GIVE as well as TAKE. The question isn't of his ability to provide for any potential circumstance but more his willingness to. I hate to say it this way but I want to make sure that he has his priorities straight. You can have money and the ability to give your family everything you can, but if you don't have the heart for it, then there's no point.

That's why this isn't about dating a rich guy and knowing if he's rich on the first date and having him treat me out on a lavish dinner, but if you're dating a good, decent guy who is there for you and wants to take care of you, even if it's giving you the bigger half of the cookie. Because that's what you do when you like a person, possibly even love. Most women want the comfort of knowing that they come first for a guy. A way to verify it is if he pays for the first date, he shows you that you're important and you're special and that he sees you differently from every other girl he knows.

That's my take on it. I've had guys not pay for me and it's not the end of the world. Although ironically, I never got into a relationship with any of them. So I figure, hypothetical you and I would never make it.

Beautiful. For all I hate everything you stand for, I appreciate your sense of humour.

Also, that guy sucks. Seriously.

To be serious for second now, Alice and to actually make a decent post...

You realize that a lot of men that I know, that are around my age, were raised by women. Our fathers either left, parents split, or the father was never around. This poses a MAJOR problem for men my age. I do believe this is the sole cause of metrosexuality. We grew up being men, raised by women.

A lot of girls are put off by this it seems. Who wants to be with a man who's more feminine than you? It's kind of sad when you get beauty tips or clothing tips from your BOYFRIEND or your HUSBAND.

Women my age are NOT traditional (generally speaking) and do not like guys doing anything for them or something along those lines. I'd say (from experience), 1 out of every 3 girls my age are damaged goods. I'd wager on that one any day, even to go as far as betting my bottom dollar that 1 in 3 girls has been hit by either her father or her boyfriend(s).

I come from the generation where children were handed Ritalin and anti-depressants as if it was some magic candy. I can honestly say that I don't know anybody my age (a few years younger or a few years older) that ARENT derranged or have some form of disorder.

I can understand where you're coming from, but not to SOUND rude, the younger generation is a lot different than yours. Everybody in my generation is fucked to the core, it seems. I don't know why either.

I've had a lot of girls expect me to be the Nice GuyTM. I'll admit, I'm an overly nice guy, but the moment you take advantage of my generosity, I will snap and bear fangs waiting for the taste of blood. In today's world, the best way to get by, is to be a dick. Niceness gets you nowhere fast these days.

Eventually it will be seen in the same vein as women giving beauty or grooming tips to men. Equality in the sexes will be earned, one plucked eyebrow at a time.

Truth. My girlfriend plucks my eyebrows. :O

She's also hellbent on being the one to propose in teh future... I told her if she proposes, I'm taking her last name and she doesn't get mine.

She stopped that shit.

That’s fine and I can perfectly identify with your train of reasoning here. However, I think the fatal flaw in this reasoning is that, considering the context of the date is “we barely know each other,” do you really think a guy’s wiliness to pay for a date is the equivalent of his willingness to give, specifically to you? Do you not see the compromise of sincerity here, considering the guy barely knows you?

I think you should put yourself in a male’s point of view to understand this better. As a guy, you come across so many females who simply expect you two behave this way that eventually it simply becomes protocol. Thus, the genuineness is destroyed. After you go through this, so much, it doesn’t become a matter of “I care about this girl I want to do something for her.” It simply becomes a routine of the game. With your male vision in tact, keep in mind that this gets so bad for some men that they would rather just pay a hooker, hurry up and get their dick sucked, and not be bothered with all the other crap.

Point being, as a guy who has been through the whole dating game time after again, how much money I’m willing to spend on you – when I barely even know you – is completely separated from my care for you as a person. This is why I told myself I’m not doing that shit anymore. It’s only genuine when I want to pay. Not when I feel like I’m coerced into following proper protocol because the chic is going to dealbreak otherwise. And let’s face it; rarely do I click with someone so instantly on the first date that I earnestly want to start giving them stuff. Personally, I think only the inexperienced do.

Reznor, wow. I completely agree with you, and I'm not so old and far-removed from reality that I don't realize that what you're saying is true. It worries me, though. I personally think (and I know I'm going to get flamed for this), that when women decided they were equal in EVERY way and determined that men were unnecessary in a family, our boys started turning into either whiny emo pussies or thugs.

I think there are more traditionalists out there than you think, though. Sometimes in our youth we convince ourselves that we believe things that, once we get tired of proving that our parents are wrong about everything, we later decide we were wrong about. I'm not condescending to you; I'm just speaking from experience.

Actually, I find ol' Rez to be awfully cynical. I can't help but wonder if he is talking about his "generation" or his neighborhood/family.

I'll be the first to say I have more of a relationship mentality, I don't find dating strangers to be particularily enticing because it is most of the times, hit or miss and bad dates are bad dates. That's why most first dates I've been to are with friends that end up asking me out. That means that I know them fairly to very well on a friendship basis and they want to take it to the next level. By him paying for the date, it's an indicator that I am special, he's sincere about pursing me and that he sees me as more than a "friend". Sure we can split the bill but how is this any different than the other times we've been out to eat. Because we're in nicer clothes and it's only the two of us?

Even with the few I've been with non-friends (IE: guy I worked with, someone I met in a coffee shop, etc.), when a guy asks me out on a date and I barely know him, I hardly consider buying a person a meal is the same as "giving them stuff". It's thanking them for taking the time out of their busy day to spend time with you, it's saying thank you for a nice evening, thank you for saying yes for the date. It's not, I love you and want to give you babies, most of the time it's just the classy thing and courteous thing to do. It's a thank you, in it's simplest form.

And to add, I can understand how that is a flaw because paying for the girl has become such a social norm, some men do it simply because they feel they have to do it to be responsible. But to be honest, it's not a problem for me because that at least shows me he has some recognition of responsibility. Sincerity in a relationship can be shown in more ways than one, responsibility is a smaller scope.

Obviously you and I don't think along the same wavelength. Let's just simplify this and sum up what I think when a guy asks me out (regardless of how well we know each other) and he doesn't pay. Cheap or just wants to be friends. I don't think "Oh well this is a moral stance and he'll become more generous once we get serious." I'm sure some girls think that way, I'm just not one of them. You're not giving her a diamond ring. Paying for dinner is not commitment, it's not I love you, it's not a gift of any kind. As said, I really do consider it just as a simple "Thank You".

I've never really had to deal with any 'deal breakers' because I've never really dated anyone that I wasn't friends with first. I have always got to know someone a little before I would even think about dating them.

That isn't to say that some 'deal breakers' haven't come into play after dating for a month or two. So mine aren't really on a 'first' or 'second' date matter.

I hate it when people are not as open minded as they at first tried to believe that they were. It bothers me when people make comments about a group based on race or religion even in jest. It has come up a lot and it is something that I do not tolerate very well.

I am also not very found of men or women for that matter that lie to me when it is very obvious that they are lying. I've always been rather good at finding things out because I'm a snoop one of my own 'deal breakers' I am sure. However I believe that people are better served telling the truth. You think this other girl is hot, fine with me just don't lie about it. I tend to think people are hiding things from me when they lie about those types of things. Such as when I was having my husband quit smoking he bought a pack and left the receipt out. So I called him up and asked him about it, he tried to lie at first and then thought better of it. I just hate finding things out that way.

My third ‘deal breaker’ would probably have to be the way a person treats me, I have been around a lot of people and I like to have someone around that acts like they like me no matter who they are around. I hate people that treat you one way in private or around a certain group of people to only change how they act towards you in a different situation or around different people. It becomes very confusing to me and makes me feel like I’m just a game.

This is the ultimate deal breaker for me, they must love animals and hold them in as high regard as I do. Anyone that cannot be kind to an animal cannot be with me period. I relate to animals more than I do people so they will always be a part of my life.

Other than those things everything is game.