I need to do something.
 

This morning, all my work was taken from me. All my commissions, all my quotations, all my customers. People I have been working with and providing with service for 2 years.

Cheryl bitched at my father because she noticed I was making substantial commissions on my work, and now, he's given her MORE than half of my pie. Because she's jealous. And he bent to her whim.

He wrote an email in response to one of the leads I forwarded him this morning. He said "Cheryl can take this and all future TP leads."

I almost had a coronary. I wrote this in response to him. I know I didn't fuck up since he just DEFENDED me the other day when Cheryl attacked me for making money on these things. He's not the kind of person to hold back if I fuck up.

I am sorry to post this here, but I AM REALLY stressing about this - to the point of TEARS. I feel really back-stabbed. Someone console me. ;_;

I guarantee she'll see this email within the next 24 hours. I am fully expecting WW3. And peeack will be thrilled to know this is the closest I've come to quitting my job ever.

And if it comes to WW3, I am totally busting out. I will rage like there has been no rage before. I don't think anyone quite understands how long I've been harboring this anger inside of me pertaining to this workplace.

Man, that stinks. I can commiserate on a small scale, with my cousin/roommate being my boss and creating a tense work environment for me both in and outside of work at times, but he typically only threatens my job, he doesn't take away my work (well, other than writing the program to do aspects of my job, but I help him do that =P). It's really tough to work with family mostly because all actions taken in one aspect of life will typically affect other aspects, if inadvertantly. And either way, taking your projects and customers and whatnot just because another employee whines is bad work ethic.

Good luck with WW3 if it comes to that. Hopefully it won't and your dad will see your side of the argument.

Usually I can muscle him into the "right" thing to do.

And I am not saying MY way is the right way because *I* benefit. I am saying I will refuse my commissions if it comes to that.

I just don't want her to take something from me that I've been working on so hard when she can't lift a finger to do ANYTHING. She is the shittiest worker I've had to deal with, and I'm going to burst. BURST. And I really REALLY need help keeping this anger under control, here.

I am SHAKING in anger. Moreso in feeling really really betrayed. You ever wonder if I get hurt? This is about the time. I take my work seriously - ALL my work, in both personal and business facets. I do things as quickly and diligently as I possibly can.

This feels like the last straw. I feel like I am being shit on big time. (Keep in mind she's my father's pseudo-girlfriend. They're either on or off.)

This has happened to me all my life. It feels like I am 10 again and I have no say in anything - including my own work. Which makes me feel like being employed here completely defeats the entire purpose.

I think working with your family is a bad idea. I also think working in a small company is a bad idea. You're doing both at once and you obviously are not enjoying it. Just find another job.

Yeah...we have a guy in the workplace that basically took over all the customers of the CEO when the CEO didn't have time to deal with it anymore (at the time the business was very young - now it's just young). He flourished for about a month, then didn't produce anything on his own for about 4. When he was kicked out of the corporate side of things and made local-only, he did next to nothing for a month, but now he seems to have started to find the motivation to get some work done. I honestly don't know why he's still with us, though. I think a majority of the business partners would do him in, but they're too kind-hearted and willing to give multiple chances. Of course, I'm sure that's a big piece of why I still have my job.

I'm sure that didn't help at all. Ah, well.

As for the anger, I always have to find some way either to vent my anger (and posting about it online tends to help sometimes) or to make it dissipate, typically through music and relaxing my body. While I was on my mission for my church, my mission president (guy in charge of about 200 missionaries in a geographical area) gave us this spiffy meditation/relaxation technique. When you're first starting it, though, you need a place you can relax (ie bed, sofa, or comfy chair or something) and like 15 minutes. Basically you get a focus word or thought that you can keep your mind on - one that won't keep your mind really busy, but that is enough to keep your mind off of other things. Then you focus on one part of the body to the next, typically from the feet up, willing yourself to relax. This way you get both the physical and mental relaxation for at least a small period of time. Eventually when you get good enough at it you can slip into it at will. Quite useful. I don't know if you're in a position to really relax right now, but it's one of the best ways I've found to quell my anger, and especially the physical side effects of my anger.

Working with my family is great. I love working side-by-side with my father. Cheryl, however, is NOT my family.

Thats not the issue, here.

And you know I won't give it up until I just can't take it anymore. (Which has never really happened to me. I can take A LOT.)

This is more of a PERSONAL issue than anything.

Drex - I appreciate your input a lot. I am glad you can sympathize in a way. The meditation I AM SURE would help, if I had the time right here in the office. I could maybe lock myself in the bathroom, lay on the floor, and just vege out for 15 minutes. But I'd see her face and go right back into anger.

Well not thrilled at the circumstances love, but a change of scenery could be good for you. Unfortunatly, I don't really have any advice for you. Mostly because I can't really comprehend how your Dad could be that much of a twat not only to his daughter but to one of his employees. Does he not give a shit about you? Does he not want to run his buisness efficiantly? Fucking French!

Fuck 'em Sass. Let them both have it with both barrels, then get the fuck out of there. I don't doubt you're qualified enough to gain employment elsewhere. It's not giving up, it's being AGGRESSIVE in that you're DESTROYING their workplace. Think of it that way, and it doesn't rrreaally seem like you're throwing in the towel.

One thing that I've always been confused about ... is Cheryl actually your boss? (literally, as in she has authority to hire/fire/review you, not figuratively as in she has power because she sleeps with the company owner.)

The biggest problem with working with family is that if you nuke the workplace and jet, you still feel the results, and now it's personal. I think an argument a la WW3 can work out, but not as much if it turns entirely emotional and then you try to bail - it looks like you're letting it all loose and then trying to avoid the consquences. At least, that's how I would see it.

Luckily, I think you already think along these lines, for the most part, and it's everyone else that's giving the conflicting ideas. Ideas are good as long as they're applied correctly to your circumstances. Don't be silent about it, though (I know you won't ^_^), because bottling everything up is bad for you, plus they won't know what you're thinking and will likely take you to a new level of hurt unless they're informed.

Ahaha, I love Peeack. You made me feel better. ^_^

I don't want to do anything malicious. Thats not morally RIGHT and its not the way I do business.

And I USED to be qualified to manage hotels. My name hasn't been out on the wire for years, though. I used to be recruited, but I think I've been out of the game too long to play anymore.

That, and I am in a really TOUGH spot. I go to school fulltime and I expect to work fulltime as well. One of the benefits of this job is they're paying for my education. They allow me to attend classes during work hours, since I am going to school for my work here, because I/they figure I have a future in it. I have invested a lot here. Its too soon for me to just give up. Besides. I don't "give up" at ANYTHING. ^_^

I've seriously considered sabotage, too. Which is COMPLETELY immoral, but I almost feel like I am resorting to survival, here.

I figure I just need a shot of whiskey and a good conversation with my father about it.

SS - She is technically the "office manager." But I also hold positions above her ranking. It's kind of fucked up. We all wear a million different hats. She relies on me on some things, I need her for others.

Depending on who you ask in the company, we could be either peers or she could be my superior. No one would consider me to be her superior, however. I think when I first started working here, she was deemed my superior. Since, my father has seen that she has misguided me in some areas and told me to think for myself and do what I feel is the PROPER way. If I have questions, HE is my superior. He specifically instructed me NOT to take orders from her.

Drexxxx - My family is a creature in and of itself, and we get over shit really easily. I am sure the three of us (sister, father, myself) could work in harmony with each other with few tiffs - there would NEVER be a WW3 between the three of us.

The problem lies (and I admit) that I have a serious issue with CHERYL as his girlfriend. Because I don't like what she does to him in his personal life, I have a really hard time working with her. I can play nice REALLY well (I even bought her coffee today) just because I have to work here, but I HATE her as a person.

Its hard to keep things professional when you know so much about our lives OUTSIDE of the office.

And honestly, I know I should not know ANYTHING about their relationship. Thats how NORMAL people would work, right? But unfortunately, she's SABOTAGED me, she's tried to take whats my family's outside of the office, and she's generally a conniving, gold-digging BITCH.

This make me distrust all her motivations here.

Oh aye, I forgot about the school thing. Would you still be able to do that, work a different job, and cover all your weekly / monthly expenses?

Knowing you can be the fat, heartless bitch upon which smaller, less angry moons of anger revolve around, may I make the strong suggestion and completely pulling the rug out by calling in a third party? Better Business Bereau or OSHA or something?

Shit needs to be done. Your father is a spineless twit that I'd enjoy yelling at for not having any balls. The cunt in your office, however, deserves to have her stomache nigger-stomped so hard, she vomits blood upon first strike.

I'm in a vaugely similar situation since last night for much smaller reasons, but it did end up with screaming at my mother's voicemail and calling her all sorts of foul words that begin in 'f' and 'b'. So I'm familiar with this scenario, I know what its like to have some douche come in and start marking their territory.

I suggest putting on some rubber gloves and wiping a streak of dog shit under her car mats. Believe you me, come the warmer weather, the interior of her car will start smelling like someone shoved horseshit into her trunk.

Theres also gotta be various things you can do to her at work, like hide all her pens or wipe your ass with some money from her purse or something.

Dang, you make me hate her too. =P I certainly wouldn't trust her motivations, especially if she's proven herself to be not the most hardworking person in the workplace as well as a jerk outside.

I learned in history class that one way to dissolve class tensions is to declare war on an outside force. Therefore, I think you should declare war on another small business. It will dissolve the tensions and give you a common goal, then you can enslave the people you conquer and there's a whole new lowest class that everyone above benefits from. =D

EDIT: It's easier to just use milk rather than dog crap. You don't have to wear gloves, it doesn't stain, and it's just about as hard to get out with similar smelly results. Sour milk smell interactions with carpet cleaner smells are wondrous. I've been in enough cars with little kids to know this.

The trick is to find a dog who's passing worms.

Peeack - No, I would not be able to maintain school AND work if I were to quit here and go elsewhere. Since my school doesn't really BENEFIT any of the companies I would go to out of choice, they would neither PAY FOR nor TOLERATE my school during business hours/expenses.

One MAJOR reason I am sitting here right now.

LeHah - I'm not calling a third party because I feel hurt. Thats fucking retarded. I'll take care of my own business in time - I am just ANGSTING (appropriately in here) about how I feel backstabbed.

Though I rather like how you referred to things. I admire you sometimes. I wish I could have the balls to do horrible things to her.

I've since talked to my father via both email and phone. He stands his ground, but he sees my point. He's made excuses for himself, none of which are satisfactory explanations for his decision.

Drex - its totally true that "declaring war" on a third party works. Too bad she is no help in love OR war.

Now, after I've given her the templates to the quotes, the price list and formulas for the quotes, the explanation for all the details of said processes, SHE NEEDS ME TO INSTALL ADOBE ON HER COMPUTER. Because she "can't figure it out."

And I have no authority to tell her to go fuck herself.

Thats weak shit. You should get your dad to lose his fucking business.

I concede the point.

Though that's not the wording I would use, since when does it take authority to say something like that? :p

Seriously, though, just keep it as mounting evidence for that chat you aim to have with pops.

(EDIT: heh, the word "not" sometimes completely changes the meaning of a sentence =P)

Install your fist in her face, Sass. Jesus christ. She's so infurating, and I'm not even involved.

So? =D You have no authority here either, doesn't stop you from telling us to fuck our selves, if the situation warrents it.

Sir, this is a "professional" (ahahhaha) environment. (I mean the office, not GFF. ^_^ )

I need to be able to control myself. Not all things in life are resolved with "GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU HORRIBLE CUNT."

LeHah, I would never do that. I love working with him and he's awesome at what he does. Its just when he plays politics with me that I get hurt. I am not half as vicious as you are. I don't want to hurt anyone.

http://www.knifton.com/images/yoda/yoda.h1.jpg

"That... is why you fail"

You feel backstabbed because you have been backstabbed. I know you love your dad, but let's face it. He gets sex from this woman. She's going to win out every time.

Think about how many hours a day of your precious life you spend at your job. You may love your dad and your job, but this bitch continues to cause you serious stress, and who needs that? I'd seriously get the hell out of there. History has proven that your dad is usually going to side with this woman. You're too smart and life's too short to have to deal with her crap day in and day out.

And telling anyone to go fuck themselves isn't going to help the situation.

That's my two cents.

Go fuck your self. =D

You could always go to the butchers, Sass, and get a pig's spine or something. Bring it to work, chuck it on your Dad's desk and suggest he use it occasionally. Testicles could be substituted also.

THAT would be pretty sweet.

One thing's for sure. You will have to do something other than get upset all the time. Get some leverage against them. I don't know the situation well enough to tell you what to do, but I'm sure you could think of something. Stupid pranks aren't going to help and they'll only make you feel better for 5 minutes until you have to deal with the aftermath.

That, actually, is completely inaccurate. I hate to brag, but I am thinking you have no idea what I have done to horrible women in my father's past.

I usually win out. But the same techniques I use here on GFF - EXHAUSTION. My resolve and determination is borderline mentally ill. I have fought many women out of my father's life - this woman is weaker, dumber, and much less USEFUL in his personal life than any of the past ones.

And don't ask me why I know this, but I guess she refuses to put out for him anymore. OR WAS refusing. Until they broke up because she was neither listed in my father's will nor would he allow her to get her hands into the ownership of this business.

Did you miss the part about school? ;_;

You're absolutely right about this one. ^_^

I agree with you.

And I have leverage, in a way. I've already threatened him to quit in an email about 15 minutes ago. He didn't like that, considering the plans that are upcoming (which I can't talk about. =/ ) and he was relying on me to do things.

Its just hurt, you know. I hate it when I do everything I can for a cause and WHAM, I get it in the ass. ;_;

You feel hurt bause you've been treated unfairly, correct? Soooo... this is more than about feelings. I'd be pissed, and I'm not related to the boss.

I don't see why she should get your commissions anymore than she should get your work, either. If YOU worked for them, YOU deserve the benefits of YOUR work. Point blank.

(Fuck, Alice already said that. :/)

I didn't miss it, but you do realize that the vast majority of people don't get their educations paid for through their jobs, right? I mean, some people do, but my point is that there are ways around it. Student loans, scholarships, etc. People do it all the time. Plus, if you let them pay for your education you're just going to feel more indebted to them and might feel pressured to stay at a job that could possibly get more and more frustrating if she is successful in getting her claws deeper into your dad.

Actually, a lot of companies will pay for college. Undergrad as well as grad. Mine does. You just have to convince them that it's worth it. But you could bring that up during the interview.

I am not putting myself in debt, and not playing that bullshit college game. The reason I even agreed to go back to college was because it was an all-expense-paid-trip to Degree Land.

I think the negative personal emotions at this point are not enough for me to give up what I am doing. I can't "give up" on everything in life, you know? Not everything is a walk in the park. I will get what I need. Once I have nothing to lose in leaving, I will leave. If it comes to that.

Besides. I am struggling with the EMOTIONAL part of this, you know? The workplace and the politics are just that - workplace politics. It's just that my father slapped me in the face with his bitch again. Probably UNINTENTIONALLY, but even then. He should know better.

And Eks, yea, I am more personally, emotionally hurt by it than I am about some woman taking my work. In most cases, I'm thrilled to have someone take work off of my desk for me.

I just don't like it when it goes to someone like her.

Minion, your company paid for your education? Did you WORK for them while you were in school? How does that work? You need to tell me so I can consider it.

They didn't pay for undergrad, but I know they do. Check around. I'm sure other companies will.

Well, the military does it (undergrad, that is). So do many hospitals if you're interested in a nursing degree, and most states offer grants for would-be teachers. I didn't say that it wasn't done, I just think it's not all that common for a company or organization to pay for a person's education.

There ya go, Sass. Join the military. =D

Ahahahha. ha. ha. HA. NO.

No offense, of course. But you know how I feel about the military. Buying men like they were apples for sale.

Nursing is completely and utterly out of my range of interest, frankly. But originally, when I first went to college years ago (and eventually left), I was going for a degree in education with a minor in mathematics. ^_^

Thats why CARPE DIEM, Alice! You see an opportunity - TAKE IT!

How realistic is the option of quitting? Considering that you don't really wanna do loans for schooling, you'd pretty much have to secure a gig at some company that'll pay for it like Alice mentioned. Also, how,do you think, that would effect your relationship with your dad? Would he understand or take it personally? If these two matters are taken care of, then maybe you should just work someplace else. Even if you do enjoy working with your family, it's just really tough just cause when situations like these occur, the general unpleasant attitude of everyone and intesity are always ampliphied just cause it's family. Things are taken a lot more personally.

Also, I don't suppose talking with this Cheryl person in attempt to settle the matter is an option?

I can see your situation Sass, but I truly think it comes down to you being reluctant to take the necessary but extremely painful steps to resolve this. You have to realize that it's going to hurt no matter what you do, so there is nothing to be gained by letting things remain as is.

Essentially, you have two options: quit, or declare open war on Cheryl. By that I mean active, out-in-the-open sabotage. You're going to have a break down if you're forced to tolerate this woman any longer, so you have to force your dad's hand - it's her or you. Harass and undermine her, to the detriment of the company, until he has no choice BUT to fire someone, or let the business tank. But either way, you must FORCE a decision out of him because he's too wishy-washy to do so of his own volition.

You may not regard the emotional trauma as worth quitting over, but the fact of the matter is, it's making your life a living Hell. You'd complain about this bitch every other day in your Chocojournal, and things just seem to be degrading over time. Emotional abuse alone is recognized just as much as any other form of abuse by the law, and letting this situation fester as is just exposes you to more needless abuse. You wouldn't let your father physically beat you, so why are you letting him emotionally beat you?

Right here:
The classic abusive husband always cries and apologizes every time he looses his temper and hits his wife, but he never stops doing it. Is this the cycle you want to be stuck in?

In actuality, I think you have a really good point. Thinking about it, I think he INTENTIONALLY does these things, just to keep a balance of sorts.

After talking to Pang for a while, I think I have an interesting plan. I know what he'd say if I threatened to quit. I need to have a fallback for it.

Yea, I know. I don't mean to bitch about it so much and I know its annoying. I just need to talk to SOMEONE about it. It makes me feel better (and less angry) to let it out here.

And, you know, this is why I am unemotional. Or try to be, anyways. Because it makes less target room for my father. But I REALLY think he doesn't know how much he hurts me sometimes.

I think its a little extreme to SAY he's emotionally abusing me, but hey. I think rape is silly. Who am I. ^_^

I understand his motivations, though. We're father-daughter, first of all. Second, this is a business - not the home. I can usually fight my own fight at home, but I am kind of at his mercy here.

But rumor has it she HAS been fired. There's a twist in this story. One I was unaware of.

Fired as in "shes jobless as we speak" or fired as in "shes lost jobs in the past"?

Can't really say. She'll be working for another company really soon. Take that as you will.

Out of sight, out of mind. Do you think your dad would stop mickey mousing the situation if the flat-faced leech of a woman was not working under him anymore?

He has already admitted is was a huge mistake on his behalf. He hired her because he was involved with her, not because of her ability.

First and last, he said. And I believe it.

May I just say, I've missed hearing about Cheryl. We need Chocojournals back.


And I have no advice that hasn't already been said. Maybe just find someone to be your safe place, but that's difficult. And not for everybody.


TRANSCEND

It sounds as though she may be moving on, in which case your problems will be greatly reduced, but the main problem is your father. Chasing away all the bitches he ever dates is OK but they're attracted to him like flies on shit. If he wasn't such a pussy then the sewage wouldn't always be washing up on your shores. Firstly, from what I can tell, you're the greatest asset that company has. It's just a shame you don't realise it and don't use that fact as leverage. He'd be lost without you. You're the perfect employee in that you work your ass off and take any amount of shit from this Cheryl at the same time. Actually, not so much her shit as that from your dad. I know you're incredibly loyal to your family and your father but when are you going to realise that just because you're related it doesn't give him the right to fuck you over? It's not your duty to help him and his company come hell or high water.

Your skills and work-ethic could get you hired in a considerable number of places, and with people who won't treat you like the office doormat just because they're "family" either. Then it'll just be the rules of the workplace without someone close to you being able to bend them and expecting you to tolerate it. Misplaced loyalty and pride and bottling up your rage hasn't fixed your problems thus far. I really think for your own good that you have to leave that place. That'll make them suffer more than anything, without the need for childish pranks or anything else. I don't mean that you should completely ruin your dad's business but he sure as hell needs one almighty kick up the ass. Cheryl isn't really the problem; if it wasn't her, it'd be some dumb bitch by another name ad infinitum.

And don't think that leaving would be backing down or admitting defeat, that you couldn't drive her away or something. It's just being smart, because it'll make your life a lot less stressful and teach them a lesson to boot.

Guys, I'm not going to quit. I won't let her beat me. Sometimes, life is miserable. I can deal, so long as I can explode now and again.

Yea, I miss them too. You guys could have ignored all this if I had a journal up. ;_;

This is precisely what I need, really. Pang can only listen so much.

And I won't let you beat me. Quit! Quiiiit =D

p.s. requesting an update.

UPDATE:

Well, I come into work today and I find an email with a decidedly different tone from my father. He's very upset and "doesn't like my tone."

So essentially, he's really pissed off because as an EMPLOYEE, I filed a grievance with him. Because that never happens. Ever. Please note the UNPROFESSIONALISM of that email. ^_^

So he's resorted to threats, which are completely empty coming from him. I CHALLENGED him to "resolve the issue of Danielle being a whiny and insolent employee" by firing her.

Unfortunately, we are BOTH the kind of person who will cut off his nose to spite his face. So this COULD be war. Who knows. Its a lot better for me to argue in text than it is in reality because he does a lot of yelling, shouting, and insulting. But I plan to assault the issue verbally next I see him.

I responded to him with a 3 page paper, extremely critical of him. I won't respond to any further emails from him, as everything turns into a personal-attack-athon with him. I said my piece. We'll see where it goes.

So, basically, he's saying you're a tough employee to handle?

Why is that? Is it because you're hardheaded, you don't listen, or because you're better than your "superiors" or something else?

That's seriously confusing.

What a wondrous situation. =/ It seems like you have things pretty well in hand as is, though.

I often wish I had someone I could implicitly trust with anything that I could talk to on a normal basis. Anyone I have that I could complain to in real life is too interconnected with my frustrating situations to give an objective view, and things would inevitably leak out to those more intimately involved. Such is life.

I still think you should leave tacks on Cheryl's chair and open spam e-mails on her computer with an unpatched Internet Explorer. If you know your dad's not gonna fire you, what's stopping you from being openly hostile to the point of Cheryl being unable to actually get work done? Prying at your dad doesn't seem to be accomplishing much of anything, since no matter what, he eventually waffles back in favor of Cheryl.

Ahaha, you sound exactly like Pang. "You know you're not going to get fired. Fuck with her as much as you can!"

Thats not my way. I just want it resolved. I am not that malicious, guys. ;_;

Ok, so I'm guessing that this move is a step down from what you usually do, right? Is there anyone higher up then your dad? I know that it kind of breaks the chain of command and your father would probably be pissed about this but you are trying to get answers from him and nothing is coming from it. This has happened to me in the past at work and I have gone straight to the district manager due to the fact that I'm S.O.L. if go to my direct manager.

Also ask for reasonable explanation for the actions. Records of maybe what would lead to such a dastrict move.