Awkward things strangers have said to you
 

Today I was sitting at a bus stop when some weird white lady hobbled over and sits next to me.

Lady: You have beautiful hair!
Me: err thanks
Lady: Are you malaysian?
Me: ...no
Lady: What are you then?
Me: Im puerto rican and hatian
Lady: Oh....
Lady: .....
Lady: ..... you spanish people are everywhere now
Me: uh yeah
Lady: Your kind are fertile
Me: :eyebrow:
Lady: Do you have any kids yet? I bet you do.
Me: err no ;(
Lady: Theres lots of black people down in the south.... so much crime down there
Me: .... ;(
Lady: The spaniards are what you people come from right?
Me: *ignore* *ignore*
Lady: No wonder you people are everywhere...the spainiards have adventure blood.
Lady:....
Lady: ...do you have change for a dollar
Me: :gonk:


Bonus for best pick up line Ive ever heard, while walking my dog
Drunk guy stumbles out of a bar and says to me:
Id fuck both you bitches. :doggy:

While I lived in Manchester i'd occasionally wander past people who were mentally ill, though not deliberately of course. Some of them would be homeless and wandering the city. One time, a guy was just walking past me and suddenly raised his voice saying "Little Johnny fucks Mary!" or something like that. I think he had Tourettes' syndrome.

Hahaha "Adventure Blood"

Once, while waiting outside for a concert, a homeless guy who was also standing around there just started talking to me. He said something like "You here for the show?" and I'm all "Yep." He replied with "Awesome, well have fun and get laid for me!" And then he hugged me. Wierd wierd wierd, super wierd.

I don't seem to have any real akward moments though it was pretty strange when a customer asked me as I finished making her sandwhich, "Do you go to church?"

Me: No... but I'm baptized Lutheran if that counts for anything.
Lady: I'm going to get you a bible. What's your name?
Me: (This lady can't be serious... can she?) My name is 'X' (censored for privacy).
Lady: Ah, How do you spell that?
Me: *spells name*
Lady: It's a nice bible, it'll have your name on it.
Me: Thank you (I guess?).

Sure enough about two weeks later, there was a nicely gift-wrapped package for me containing cards with prayers, a study bible with my name on it and a 4 page later addressed to me about how wonderful it was to speak to me and how she hoped I would enjoy God's word (or something like that). I later learned this lady does this all around town and most people don't humor her. I honestly believe the "personalized" 4 page letter was premade and she only changed the name and where she had met said person... If not, that's a wee bit creepy.

The other day some angry road rageaholic called me an "ass blaster." I guess that's supposed to mean i'm gay. I'd never heard that one used before in that context, and i tend to laugh at things i find even slightly funny. It was all i could do to keep from bursting out laughing.......... well it was weird for me.

I was scanning some magazines when this american walked up to me:

Dude: Isn't it ironic?
Me: ?
Dude: English isn't the primary language in this country, and yet everything I see is in english.
Me: ?
Dude: So, I don't have to learn your language because you can understand me anyway!
Me: ?
Dude: *walks away laughing*
Me: sup /b/

I was in London travelling alone so I always had to get other people to take me pictures.

I asked this portuguese on his early 50's guy: "Sir could you please take a picture?" He didn't say anything but he gave me one of the most cold looks I've ever received in my life, as if I just were insulted him or his mother. To this day I cannot figure out what went wrong.

As awkward as it sounds, probably the strangest thing a stranger has said to me is my name. I was walking by and suddenly heard my first and last name, I turn around and I discover this humble looking girl of no more than 15 y/o, making an attempt to flirt with me.

Apparently I'm liked by this girl that sells fruit at street. By the time I did not know her I thought it was very creepy. However, she kept doing it everytime she saw me, giving me her femme fatale looks everytime she could. She has stopped by now, which is cool for me.

One of my classmates in my anatomy class actually said something odd to me today.

Him: I heard you Asians have great pelvic girdles. Perfect for giving birth.
Me: (smiles awkwardly)
Him: I want to marry an Asian so she can have my children.

I don't know why but this topic reminds me of that part in Dodgeball where Vince Vaughn is like yea, whatever crazy guy. Then Patches is like I'm not crazy, and I ain't a guy.

The first thing I can think of is when I walked into Wal-mart a few weeks ago. It was a particularly cloudy day, and just when I was approaching the entrance doors, some guy comes out, looks at me, then at the sky and screams "COME ON, SUN!!!!!" Like he's encouraging it and all it needs is a little coaxing to bring it out of hiding.
Yeah, like I'm going to acknowledge that embarrassing display. Next please.

Just the other day at the Big E (a large fair here in New England) I was walking with my family and some random black guy comes up, puts his hand on my shoulder, leans in and whispers "they're French, aren't they?" I imagine he must have heard me translating for my grandmother and a vendor.

But the sound of CONCERN in his voice was rather startling. I'll never understand.

God the Big E is the most depressing place on earth.

COME SEE WORLDS TINIEST HORSE
COME RIDE THE SAD ELEPHANT
LOOK...SHEEP!

Strange things happen to me all the time, although usually I'm on the giving end rather than receiving. For instance, yesterday my friends and I were all lying on the ground, using each other's bellies as pillows, forming a Belly Chain (as we called it). We asked passing people to come join us, and it started out really nice and endearing, but within ten minutes we were threatening them and calling them cowards.

One time I was driving along and a black man ran into the road, shirtless, swinging his shirt over his head in one hand and holding up his pants (which were unbuttoned and falling off) with the other hand. He was the most distressed black man I have ever seen.

I also have a bad memory, so I can never remember as many as I'd like. Let's see.

I worked as a dishwasher, and I'm about sixteen. A fellow employee, a fifty year old woman I hardly know, came up behind me one day, put her hand on my shoulder, and said, "You're gonna make a woman happy one day. . . with those dishwashing skills."
Luckily, the place burned down a month and a half later.

Unfortunately I'm not a minority, so I don't have any weird conversations concerning that. Unless I start them :P

Oh man... I remember I was drug tested (:tpg:) when I applied to work at Jostens and the nurse told me the one thing that qualifies as the strangest thing anyone has ever asked me.

"Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

No... I'm not... Really...

Sadly enough, I think I skipped class the day they taught that and proper ass-wiping techniques in Life Science. This is the reason why you see me walking around with a colostomy bag and a catherer RIGHT NOW YOU DUMB TWAT.

Oh boy. Some years ago some pigs caught my cousin, a friend of him and me walking drunk on the streets doing some minor scandal (and by minor I mean it). Before entering the cell, each of us had a separated interview with the resident doctor.

The doctor asked my cousin what time it was. My cousin proceeds to check his watch and the doctor says: "Hey, don't look your watch!", my cousin's temper exploded: "WHY THE FUCK I'M NOT CHECKING MY WATCH, YOU'VE JUST ASKED ME THE HOUR!"

Of course, the doctor wanted to test how drunk we were, but didn't considered my cousin's cleverness.

I have super long super curly hair, and for some reason it is a rare thing because I always get looks and comments like 'you have such lovely
hair'

I was standing in line to a check out at a department store and felt a tug on my hair. Natually I had a fright and quickly turned around, I saw this little old lady, she smiled at me and said "I am sorry dear, I just wanted to see if it was real"

When leaving my campus, I bumped into someone on a crosswalk, and he proceeded to exclaim:

"Watch where you're going, Columbine. We've got Columbine right here! He's gon' shoot everybody."

I think I was wearing mostly black that day, but not, like, a trenchcoat or anything. Sheesh.

I get the odd comment from customers at work every now and then.

They especially like to comment on my weight. Once, I had a woman come up to me (she wasn't even buying anything) and asked if I was 'anoresis'. I just gave her a look that could kill. I also have people (mainly women) ask how I stay so thin. I also just give off a not-so-nice look.

Last month my cat tore my neck up and customers were being really nosy about it. One guy asked if it was a hickey. Yeah, several deep scratches = hickey. Wtf.

I was wearing my old school greatcoat (long, black) on the tube around eight months ago. Some girl who looked around a year younger than me started taking the piss (lol wearing black makes u a goth!!!) from halfway across the carriage with her friends, so, naturally I walked over there. They looked pretty rough (this was central London mind you), but I was a head above them, so they looked somewhat intimidated when I approached and gave them what I'm pretty sure must have been the most vicious deathstare I've ever given. They turned totally timid and awkwardly apologised. One of them then pretended to like my coat, and even had the nerve to ask for my number :tpg:

I also have awkward (but nice) conversations with the homeless street vendors in Canterbury on occasion. They tend to ask if I've been to Sheffield or Cardiff or x british place and that's just about it. I know a few of them by name now.

Thankfully no one has just grabbed my hair, but I've gotten random compliments for its appearance (Apparently really long, straight hair is amazing to some folks, esspecially when they learn I haven't cut it in years O_o ) I don't mind the compliments, it just gets wierd when they start to carry on about it... esspecially to their friends as I walk off.

Im 19 but i look like 16 and im kinda short but anyway, end of semseter and we are having this japanese class party. So im talking to this fatass and i tell him that im a boxer and he says "arent you too small to box lol?" (he actully said lol). It was the way he said it that made me think "should i smash your face in and you judge?". some people.

I remember being in a bar in Oquwka for quarter beer night. I thought it was nice to drink as much as I wanted at barely any cost, but I forgot I was in a town where all their is to do is drink, do drugs, and...

A lady sat down next to me at the bar, grabbed my hand, and said "Meet me at the boathouse."

...

I was a statue.

I downed the rest of my beer, left a $10 on the bar, and said "Sure. I'll see you in... The boat house... Sometime... Tonight..."

I got up, walked home, and watched some adult swim cartoons. Now I just have a distrust towards any boathouse in Oquawka.

I was on the train getting home from school and this guy walks all the way from the other end of the car, comes up to me and asks:

Stranger: Hey there... Do you happen to have any soap?
Me: No?
Stranger: UUUURRRGGGGGG... (scratches scalp profusely)
Me: Uhh... Are you okay?
Stranger: UUUUUUUAAAAAAAGGHHHH FUCK YOOOOUUUU WORLD!!

And he runs out of the train.

Happened to me just yesterday, this drunk turned around and faced me in a stairwall at the station:

Drunk: "EXCUSE ME!! What's the color of yellow?"
Me: "I guess that would be yellow, isn't it?"
Drunk: "You have the situation under control!"

I bet I made his day.

I haven't had many awkward experiences, but someone once said this:

Lady: You look like the girl.. off that tv show.
Me: What?.. huh?
Lady: You watch Tv?
Me: Sometimes.. yeah.
Lady: You know.. The Osbournes?
Me: ooooh. Yeah.. Ok.
Lady: Yeah.. you really look like the girl off that show.
Me: Well uh, thanks.

I don't know whether to take that as a compliment, or a complete insult. Either way the lady must have been in her 60's so I can't be too hard on her. >_>

haha I just remembered another awsome one

I was talking on my cell phone walking my dog when it went dead so I sat down for a bit.

This guy with only one hand and an army hat comes wobbling over to me and has that "I want to pet your dog" look
Guy: Hey there little guy! Hope your mommy doesn't mind me petting you! Awww you like me! I hope you're this nice to your mommy at home! ...say what kind of a dog is this?
Me: Well he's a daschund but I don't think he's a pure bred.
Guy: *takes my dogs face in his hands* I guess not even little doggies can be pure of race.
He then looks up, gives me the weirdest look and walks away.

what the christ people, honestly ;(

Last summer I was shopping in a Giant Eagle (local supermarket chain) around 11:30 PM or so. So, yeah, the store was pretty much be and a bunch of creepy people. At one point I'm standing at the bread section trying to find the cheapest brand that'll still taste decent when this guy comes up to me and says, "Man, those breads sure are tricky, aren't they? You've really gotta watch out for them!"

I then grabbed the closet loaf infront of me and walked to the other side of the store to continue stopping. :(

The dog or the phone?

R I P
SQUALL

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/8...sfleecehw8.jpg

2005-2006

I'm the spitting image of my father (when he was young, I suppose...) and have his same mannerisms and voice. So obviously I frequently get complete strangers coming up to me and asking me whether I'm his son. I never know how to answer nonchalantly... I always end up being awkward and mumbling something stupid.

Once however it was really funny... I was walking in the street, and I see a car pull towards me and the driver lowering the window. I politely stop and wait for him to speak. He's going to ask me something, but I actually see him change mental gear and instead of asking me his original question he says "Are you... his son?"

-_-' I don't know how I managed not to say "You stopped to ask THAT?"

Then he said that he had actually stopped to ask for a direction, but when he noticed the similarity he just couldn't resist asking me about my old man.

So... how much does complete facial plastic surgery cost?

I was walking with my friend (a girl) one day, and then we saw this old man walking towards us on the sidewalk. He sort of made a gesture at us, but I just kept going and my friend stopped. He looks directly at my friend and says with an Italian accent: "Can'na you-a help'a me? HEY!! Excus'a me sir!", and note how he was looking at my friend who was a girl (clearly identifiable as one too). My friend caught up with me and then the guy pivoted in place and gave her a weird stare.


Also, there was one time where I was at a bus and a guy didn't quite seem to be in a right state of mind. He stopped a bus and apparently asked if it was heading where he was going, and it wasn't, I guess. The next "wrong" bus passed by and the guy screams at the top of his lungs: "FUUUUUCK THIS!!!"
When the "right" bus came, he hastily got onto the bus before me and then he got off at the very next stop (which any bus passing by would have went by), and start yelling random syllables as he got off the bus.

One time I was at at urinal and an elderly Irish gentlemen came and started pissing next to to me. Suddenly he turns round and says loudly 'Isn't it great to be young! :confused:

Another weird thing that happens to me quite frequently is that total strangers will greet me in the street. Apparently this happens beacuse somewhere in my town there is someone who looks and acts exactly like me. There have been loads of time when my friends have yelled at me for ignoring them when they see me in town, only to discover I wasn't in town that day. Once one of my friends actually ran the guy over, and when they asked if he was all right all he said was 'Oh, not again!'. The next day my friend asked if I had an older brother.

I was working when a really old customer came to the store...

Man: Excuse me...are you vietnamese?
Me: um...no sir I'm not.
Man: Oh...(awkward silence)...Can you speak Vietnamese?
Me:....Um no
Man: I know Vietnamese...(awkward silence)
Me: Oh...that's nice.
Man: Well good bye.

We have one. My mom calls it "Big Bird" since it used to be Big Bear.....

Anyway....

I've had this:

There are four women in town who look like me, and one day at work I had a man come up to me and yell at me for all the things I did to him at the bar the night before. I told him I had been at work, but he didn't belive me. I finally had to show him my time card AND my name tag--since he kept calling me the wrong name.

He just gave me a weird look and went away.

A few weeks ago, a guy told me I should quit my job, due to my looks. With a puzzled look on my face, he realized I missunderstood. He explained I looked like a guy on tv and that I should be in that buisiness instead.

There was one event I worked, its was for the 'brown's family' which just so happened to be black. If that wasn't enough, when serving the food, one large lady asked if we had any fried chicken. It was so hard to keep a straight face.

I say crap like that to people :3
I always find it greatly humorous... even if the other person doesnt :x

So we went out for supper on a friend's 18th birthday the other day. When the people found out it was her first step into adulthood, they let us order her two drinks on the house. When they came to sing for her, this one guy (who wasn't our waiter, he was just dragged in to sing for her) found out it was her birthday when he got there, and the first words out of his mouther were "Are you liqoured?" As he snapped his head over to her in a wide eyed, creepy smiled, stare.

We all had a good laugh.

O fuck~

I went to San Francisco last December for an American Geophysical Union conference. There were a number of hotels that cost a fuck load. But my buddy and I found one about a mile away from the site where everything was going on. We got a room online and came over to stay there. It turns out that the mile or so walk was literally RIGHT ON THE EDGE of the "wrong side of town". I'm talking about a fuckload of homeless folks. Smelling like shit and hiding all around. Lots of embarassing folk.

But finally, after a week of that hellhole, we were headed home. It was 6am or so. My buddy had to handle the checking out. I dawdled around outside. Then he called me in. Now, this hotel wasn't an indoor type thing. Two levels with room entrances being on the outside, on walkways. The front desk was behind some magnetic security-locked door. I came in to help with some questions, then noticed something outside through the glass door I entered from.

Some homeless guy was near our bags, staring at them. I opened the door and stormed out, pointing at him and I said "back off. Get the fuck back."

This was a black fellow in ragged clothing... And his pants down and around his ankles. He was wearing some boxers and kinda staggered back as I walked outside. Now, I'm not a short, beanpole fellow. I'm big and I'm built. I literally scared the piss out of him with this outburst. He stumbled back and into a parked car, holding his hands up.

Bum: "Hey man. Be cool. I just... I just need a comb..."
Me: "And what makes you think that gives you the right to go near our bags, huh? Go away. I saw a police cruiser parked across the street. Don't make me go get it."
Bum: "Look, man... I just need a comb!"
Me: "NOW."

He backs up and takes a few steps away, acting like he is leaving. He stops and admires himself in the reflection of a nearby parked car's window. Preening his hair. Pants still down around his ankles. I stepped inside to my buddy Shane and told him we had best hurry up. As the freaks were showing up >_> The Hindu guy behind the counter leaned to the side and said "oh geez... Not him again."

Shane and I hurried it up and went out to the edge of the street. No cabs around. I told him I'd phone one. Now it was HIS turn to brave the hobo.

I came back a few moments later to find Shane alone.

Me: "What the... That's no fair. He left you alone and bugged me?"
Shane: "No. He approached me. Asked if he had something in his ear."
Me: "... You didn't look did you?"
Shane: "Oh hell no. I told him that the lady in Room ___ had a mirror and some q-tips. He didn't seem to question why I said that or the validity."

I turned around to see the now pantsless man climbing the stairs, headed along the walkway to the room Shane mentioned.

Me: "He lost his pants... Well. That's one obstacle that has been overcome."
Shane: "And here comes the cab. Let's hurry out of here."

The room he pointed him to was a room of a rather. Well... On and off tempers. There was a couple staying there. We came back one day to find one of the windows to the room broken. Heard the woman having her brains banged out one night, and a loud argument the next. I wonder how our friends hit it off... :'D

A few years ago when I was in McDonald's, a guy who obviously had some mental health problems told me off for not respecting my mum, as I was talking to her at the time.

The guy was almost shouting at me when he said it, which made it both awkward and a little intimidating.

Oh man, I always run into homeless people here, and I think they're all pretty damn crazy with what they say for example.

I was casually walking down the street to get some coffee, when a homeless guy stops me and tell me to hold his guitar.
I had many other great occasions with bums, where they would block my path, drop something and have me pick it up, not only does it disturb me why they did that, but I would rather not know what was going through their mind.

TODAY. This guy in a store in the video game aisle commented on the Neopet plushies on my purse. Then asked me about what video games I liked. We talked for a bit and then I mentioned I want to illustrate comic books. He took my hand and pulled me aside and was like, "I love you." (jestfully I hope). I'm pretty sure I just stared back like an idiot. AWKWARD MOMENT.

He's probably on some forum right now telling all of his e-buddies how he met the person he's destined for.

Well, it's not something awkward that someone said to me, but it was kind of an awkward situation.

So, I was in a store today getting some stuff like toothpaste and all that 'cause I ran out, and I figured since I was in the area I might as well check out their video game selection. See if they had any deals, or anything.

Then I saw her. The most dazzling display of beauty I've ever seen. I'm telling you guys. She was amazing. I wanted to talk to her really bad, but I didn't know how to open conversation, so I ended up saying something about her Neopets plushies that she had on her purse.

She responded, and I thanked god that she didn't just ignore me or hit me with her purse scream rape like the other girls. We talked a bit, I asked her what video games she liked (we were in the game aisle, I figured it was a safe bet). Jackpot! She mentioned she wanted to illustrate comic books, and I felt my heart skip a beat. She was perfect.

I took her hand, and told her I loved her. I don't think I've ever meant anything more in my entire life. I didn't know how to contain my emotions. She stared back, and I could see my love returned in her eyes.

Alas, I fear I may not ever see her again. Woe is me.

The funny thing is that I was going to make a post just like that, except I knew if I did everyone would just go, "but ur gay" and lame it up so I decided not to.

I'm killing you. In your sleep. Somehow.







Okay, I do admit that's rather funny.

I don't sleep. I watch. You.

Red-Neck Americans are funny ^^...

Redneck: Welcome to (insert name) Hotel!
*Looks at me, my dad and my bro
Redneck: Er... Um... Koney-ee-chew-wah!
Us: ...
Redneck: How are you?
Us:... Err.... *interrupts*
Redneck: HOW! *points* YOU! *gesture* FEELING!?
Dad: (In relatively good English) Very good, thank you very much.
Redneck: *Asian accent* Oh! Goot! Goot! Nights, HOW MANY?
Me: Mate, we understand English, you know. Can't you speak normally?
Redback: Ya, ya! America, English-speaking!
Bro: Dude, we're not dumb.
Redback: ? Oh, okay. Um, so how many nights will you be staying here?
Dad: About 8 days.
Redback: 8? *Puts eight fingers up*. Okay. You guys from, like, you know, Japan?
Me: No actually. We're from Australia.
Redneck: *EYES BULGE* What? What? Er... um... WHAT! PLACE! YOU! FROM?
Us: ...
Redneck: YOU! KNOW?! er... MEE HON JIN! You MEE HON JIN?
Me: No seriously, we live in Australia.
Redback: NO! As in WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
Me: Er.. we're Chinese.
Redback: Where? Where's Chinese?
Us: .................................................. .........-_-'

Memories.

Me and my coworker were waiting at a traffic light, and this drunk man comes over to the passenger side of the van and goes:

Man: How are you?
Coworker: Doing fine.
Man: Hey, got anything good on you?
Coworker: Pack of gum.
Man: That's not good...
Me: Uh, the light's green, got to go...

And I sped off.... (Good thing he moved away from the vehicle....)

the most akward thing people have said to me... or asked actually is "didn't that hurt?" in reference to the 6 guage piece of metal hanging from my septum.

Typically I don't even answer and just grab it... pull it down a bit and wiggle it back and forth. Most folks are grossed out enough by that point that they walk away more disturbed by the piercing than when they first saw me...
Mid-life crisis? Hell yeah... more metal for me ^_^

So today I was in Tesco looking at biscuits when a slightly deranged man started talking to me about how much he loved custard creams and that ginger snaps were horrible and I was only buying them to fit in with the cool people.

It was like some kind of horrifying, bizarre nightmare.

My mother is one of those weird people that kind of just randomly says something to a stranger.

She can be very embarrasing that way.

Case 1:

Me: *shopping in the mall*
Stranger #1: "ohh, may i touch your hair? it's so beautiful."
Me: "err... okay..."
Stranger #1: *touched* "wow, i bet this hair could sell for big bucks!"
Me: O_O'' *get the hell outta here soon*

Case 2: (in Japan)
Me and a group of girls walking on the street. And then a few semi-drunk guys walked up to us and said, "Ikura desu ka?" (how much are you?)

yes, I know this thread was last posted in over 10 days ago, but today some strange guy started talking to me.

I had just finished work and was looking forward to getting home. I was stood by the road waiting for a clear bit. I had my earphones in so I couldn't hear much, when all of a sudden I catch site of something in the corner of my eye.

Me: *takes eaarphones out of ears* Sorry, Can I help you?
Stranger: You want to be careful crossing that road.
Me: uhh, yeah I will.
Stranger: They're all crazy.

By this point I realise that this guy is absolutely smashed, as he starts swaying back and forth

Me: Yeah, they are aren't they.
Stranger: Sorry, Ive had a bit to drink, probably too much.
Me: *blank*
Stranger: Man thinks he made this empire, but he didn't
Me: *blank*
Stranger: God made all of this, and man is wrong to thing that he did
Me: *blank*
Stranger: If man thinks that he made all of this then he is wrong. God made all of this, and man is nothing to think that he did.
Me: *blank*

The wind now blows towards me, and I realise that this guy has spent all day in the pub. This is happening at 4pm, pubs open at 11am

Stranger: You're a real gentleman, you are.
Me: *blank*
Stranger: You be careful crossing that road now
Me: uhh, thanks
Stranger: *starts to stagger up the road saying something uncomprehensible*

I cross the road, and smile to myself and think what a crazy man he was, and hope that I don't see him again.

About 10 minutes later, once I have been picked up, I see this crazy man again, about 20 metres up the road from the first encounter. Now he is crossing another road (neary falls over the kerb)A wagon passes him and he waves at it, he gets further up the road and sits on the wall. I think that he is having a rest, but nope. He starts praying. The wall that he is sat on is directly opposite a church, but still, praying, on a wall, on a busy street. I hope this guy doesn't remember what he did today, because if it was me I would be mightily embarrassed.

This guy was not a bum or homeless guy, he was smartly dressed. Grey pants, white shirt, grey jacket, black shoes and clean shaven. I thought that I would mention so that you wouldn't think that this guy was a bum.

One time I was in the newsagents in town, it wasn't late, only about 9:30 or something. My friend had gone up to the counter to pay for something and I was accosted by this very drunk old man. He was quite, quite ancient and scary. Anywho, I was trying to ignore him by reading a magazine when he started telling me I was very pretty, literally coming on to me. He started walking towards me and backed me into a corner =s. I was so glad when my mate had finished paying; when he came over the guy just backed off entirely, told us we were both beautiful, wonderful people who deserved the best in life and then walked out of the shop.

Me and my housemate were walking back through coventry to our house and we passed a chav on the phone. The chav was as smartly dressed as a chav could be, but had a baseball cap and 4 hoop earrings in HIS ears. This is the part of the conversation we heard:

Chav on Phone: Fucking, cunting, fucking, wanking, pissing, fucking, shitting.... balcony.

What was he talking about? Who knows.

And a while back some guy stopped me in the street to ask for directions. He said the following:

Some Guy: Do you know where Aldon Street is?

Me: Um, sorry I dont.

Some Guy: Well you go down there and take a right, walk on about 20 minutes and your there. BWA HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

And then he walked off laughing continuously. Very odd indeed.

Oh and some crazy woman once asked me if I was getting enough pepper in my diet.

It was dark outside. I was walking. A car drives up to me. I thought they wanted directions.
They ask, "Do you see the---"
I say, "What?"
"Do you see the racoon?!"