ANOTHER YO MAMA BATTLE
 

This isn't a place to actualy talk about anybody's mama but just to see who has the funnyest jokes. Also none of these jokes are ment to offend anyone directly, these are just for the sake of laughter. Here are mine

Your mama's so fat...
I got lost walking around her
she fell in love and broke it
god couldn't lift her spirit
so on and so forth

Yo mama's so old
she was on jesus's year book
when moses parted the sea she was on the other side fishing
when she farted she dislocated her hip
I told her to acte her age and she died

yo mama's so poor
(breath) A man walked buy and dropped a cigarett, she yelled "clap your hands, stomp your feet, prays the lord we got heat!"

yo mama's so stupid
She got lost in a grocery stor and starved to death.
she sat on the tv and watched the couch

yo mamas so ugly
she had to trick or treat over the phone
she made mission make over mission impossible

(last but not least..or is it) Yo mama is so skinny, she uses dental floss for toilet paper.

The others were so lame I didn't even bother putting them in...Anyone got better ones please do share.

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
Yo mama's so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth.
Yo moma's so poor she uses cheerios as earrings.

I just lost a couple of years off my age.

Well if you wanna go there with the cherios,

Yo mamas so fat
when she went to school she sat beside everybody
she's on both sides of the family

yo mamas so old she owes jesus five bucks

you mamas so stupid she threw a rock on the ground and missed

your balled one was pretty funny.

Yo momma is so fat she got baptised at sea world.
Yo momma is so poor she waves a popcicle around like a fan.
Yo momma is so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
Yo momma is so fat she fell in the ocean and the Blue Whale started singing, "We are famliy, even though you're bigger than me.
Yo momma is so fat she lay on the beach and people start screaming, "Free Willy!".
Yo momma is so fat the japanese military attacked her because they thought she was Godzilla's wife.
Yo momma is so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint roller.
Yo momma is so stupid she went to a football game and thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo momma is so fat she stepped on the scale and she said, "Give me my weight number not my phone number."
Yo momma is so stupid she heard someone say it was chilly outside and she grabbed a bowl.
Yo momma is so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo momma is so fat when she wore a red sweater people started screaming, "Kool Aid!"
Yo momma is so fat when she walks by someone's window they lose four days of sunlight.
Yo momma is so ugly when she was born her mother said, "What a treasure." and her father said, "Let's bury her."
Yo momma is so ugly when she joined an ugly contest the judges said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma is so stupid she thinks the computer screen saver is the TV.
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles.
Yo momma is so fat when she went in the elevator she pressed up and she went down.

I likes your sig, Lost_solitude. I likes my womens thick and having have the MK ninjas in Psylocke's skin is greatness.

Still gonna talk about yo momma...(WARNING: PROFANITY)

Yo mama so stinky George Clinton told her to shut the FUNK up.
Yo mama so ugly the only time light shines on her face is when she's playing PONG.
Yo mama so stupid she thought Jack Bauer was some type of beer.
Yo mama so fat every time she blinks her calorie intake skyrockets.
Yo mama so skinny she has to shit standing up.
Yo mama so ugly when she saw my dick it uncircumcised.
Yo mama so fat she's playing Kong Kong in the sequel...non-CG
Yo mama so fat Sony wants to use her earthquake-causing movements for the Dual Shock 3.

Yo momma is so poor she said,"Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord that we have heat."
Yo momma is so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

ok see you screwed up. I already put the poor one up and then you not only repeat it but messed it up.

AC1 thanks for the props but your jokes is sorry dog.

Double Post:
see put those up already come up with new ones we can't be repeating each other.

Yo mama's so poor, I went to her house and rang the doorbell, and she stuck her head out the window and yelled, "DING DONG".

Yo mama's so hairy the Sasquatch got jealous and started taking pictures.

Yo mama's so fat by the time she turns around its her birthday.

made these up right now
 

Yo Mama is so thin:
she doesn't have a shadow
her left shoulder starts from her right shoulder
she doesn't need to open a door, the keyhole is enough

Yo mama is so ugly:
when she will die she will go straight to heaven, God needs to scare Satan
she looks her best when its pitch dark

Yo mama is so short:
she dangles her feet sitting on a :gamecube:
she committed suicide jumping off a book

Yo momma is so bald you can see what is on her mind.
Yo momma is so fat her cereal comes with a lifeguard.
Yo momma is so old she has known Burger King since he was a prince.
Yo momma is so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

YO mamma so ugly she had you, you know she ugly ^_^ sorry had to go there.

I have a couple:

Yo Mamma is so fat:
She's bigger then an Xbox.
She bathes in Lake Michigan.
She crushed the Katamari
She uses a VCR for a beeper
(breathe)She robbed a bank by walking in and threatening to jump unless they gave her the money.

Yo Mamma is so ugly:
Her face is considered a lethal weapon
They named "Ugly's Disease" after her.
People think the movie "The Thing" is an biopic of her.

Your momma is so stupid that she got locked in the bathroom and pissed her pants.

Your momma is so small she jumped off the curb to commit suicide.

Yo mama so stupid her cellphone is a calculator.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got fired at the M&M's factory for throwing away the W's.

My mammas so fly she can dance underwater and not get wet.

yo mammas so stupid she tripped over her cordless phone.

Yo momma is so ugly she stuck her head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Your momma is so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Your momma is so fat, when she walks out in a rain jacket, someone yells "TAXI!"
Your momma is so fat, she has to wear a watch on each hand, for each time zone.

yo mamas so fat she sells shade

Your Mums are so stupid, they gave birth to the posters in this thread.

http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsys...ot-iceburn.gifhttp://i.somethingawful.com/forumsys...ot-iceburn.gifhttp://i.somethingawful.com/forumsys...ot-iceburn.gifhttp://i.somethingawful.com/forumsys...ot-iceburn.gifhttp://i.somethingawful.com/forumsys...ot-iceburn.gif

Yo momma is so thin when she turns sideways she disappered.

Yo Momma so stupid, she died of starvation staring at a juice carton that said "concentrate"

Yo momma is so fat that when she wears her red dress, people scream out "KOOL-AID"

Yo momma is so poor she couldn't afford to pay attention.

Yo mamma is so stupid she couldn't guess which way an elevator was going if i gave her 3 guesses.

Yo.

Your moms is so old, she sat behind Jesus in the 3rd grade.

Your moms is so old, when God said, "Let there be light", she flipped the switch.

Your moms is so fat, she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose.

Your moms is so thin she dodges rain drops.

Your moms is so thin, she hides behind STOP signs.

Your moms is so stupid, she got lipstick on her steering wheel by for trying to blow the horn.

yo mammas so ugly that when she was born madusa turned in her grave

Your momma's so fat that when she got in the elevator the only way she could go was down.
Your momma's so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck (go Russell Peters!)

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Montel Williams is a Jamaican gossiper.

your momma's so old, when she was young, rainbows were black an white
your momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be light" he told her to move her fat ass out of the way
your momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick
your momma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her drivers licence
your momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her
your momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories
your momma's so old, her memory is in black and white
your momma's so old, her birth certificate expired
your momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class
your momma's so old, she co wrote the ten commandments
your momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake

your momma's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples
your momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth

your momma's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "what a treasure" and her father said "yes, let's go bury it"
your momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
your momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone
your momma's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
your momma's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween
your momma's so ugly, your father takes her to work with him so he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye

your momma's so stupid,she sold the house to pay the mortgage
your momma's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project
your momma's so stupid when she saw a wrong way sign in her rearview mirror she turned around
your momma's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
your momma's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran out with a spoon
your momma's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater

your momma's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh
your momma's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy saying "warning: may cause irritation, drowsiness and a rash"
your momma's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea

your momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 15 years to live
your momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
your momma's so fat, when she steps on the scales it says 'one at a time please'
your momma's so fat, when she went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water
your momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles fell out
your momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck
your momma's so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip
your momma's so fat, they had to change "one size fits all" to "one size fits most"
your momma's so fat, when she goes in the sea at the beach, she changes the tide

your momma's like a goalie; she changes her pads 3 periods
your momma's like a dollar bill; she gets handled all over the country
your momma's like an ice cream cone; everyone gets a lick
your momma's like the Panama Canal; vessels full of seamen pass through her every day
your momma's like a squirrel; she's always got some nuts in her mouth
your momma's like Humpty Dumpty; first she's humped, then she's dumped
your momma's like the Bermuda Triangle; they both swallow a lot of seamen
your momma's like a street lamp; you can find her turned on at night on any street corner
your momma's like a turtle; once she's on her back she's fucked
your momma's like a paper towel; picks up any kind of slimy wet stuff
your momma's like a bowling ball; round, heavy, and you can fit 3 fingers in
your momma's like a bus; guys climb on and off her all day
your momma's like a christmas tree; everyone hangs balls on her

thank you enigma for coming up with alot of new material (mostly)
I have one to add to the last few.
your mammas like a light switch, a 4 year old can tern her on.

Yo momma is so fat she sat on a dollar and made four quarters.
Yo momma is so fat the only pictures of her are satelitte pcitures.
Yo momma is fat she was laying in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world.
Yo momma is so fat she goes to a resturant, looks on the menu and says,"OK".
Yo momma is so fat she has more chins then a Hong Kong phone book.
Yo momma is so fat the Japanese military attacked her because they thought she was Godzilla's wife.

Whoa, what the hell is going on here.