Your Relationship with your Parents
 

Old and young, stupid and intelligent, we all have parents.

How is your relationship with the people who brought you into the world? Are you very close to them? Do you confide in them? Have you grown away from them? Do you resent them for something?

I have a bizarre relationship with my mother and father. They've been divorced since I was 8 or so, and there was a lot of turbulence involved with said divorce.

I love both my mother and father dearly, but I have a love/hate relationship with my father. We're a lot alike, and we butt heads more often than necessary.

When I was a teenager, I really held something against him. But these days, we live peacefully (most of the time) and appreciate each others' presence.

How do you get along with your folks?

Well, my relationship with my parents is non-existent. My family is the definition of "dysfunctional," and I grew up with neither my mother or father. (I was raised by my grandmother, which was a vicious cycle of neglect and conflict... =/) My whole view on the "family" concept, as such, is pretty skewed.

However, most of my friends have the sweetest parents in the world, but they (the friends) dislike them (the parents) because they're "overbearing" or something. This literally hurts me because I never had anything like that, and I can't imagine what it be like to have parents that act like they cared that much. But I guess it's my background that allows me to have such appreciation.

I get along very well with my parents and I do indeed love them dearly. Of course, I could do without them endlessly getting worked up about small stuff (HAVE YOU FED THE FISH YET? NOO!).

I do not confide in them much (if at all), though -- but, then again, come to think of it.. I barely confide in anyone at all. I mostly just talk with them about daily, mundane stuff (most of the time). Although I have recently began to talk more about my future (as in education) with my dad.

Lee, I was thinking along those same lines yesterday. My parents pretty much let me do whatever I wanted as a child/teenager. They weren't strict at all. I was thinking about the best friend that I had growing up and how her dad used to take pictures of her and her sister all the time and her mom was always making clothes for them. They used to take actual vacations, which my family never did. Their dad used to take them fishing, and their mother taught them how to do things like sew, garden, etc. I remember once they remodeled their attic and made an awesome room for my friend and her sister, and it occurred to me that my own parents didn't really spend time (let alone money) on me or my siblings.

I love my parents, but depriving your children of simple things like time and attention really have a lasting effect. My parents are good people and I respect and love them a lot, but I wish I had had a different childhood...one more like my friend had.

As far as my relationship with them goes, we have a pretty good one, althought I do think I'm overly concerned with what they will think or say about the decisions I make. Also, they have a BAD track record of meddling in my parental decisions with my own children and undermining my authority with my children, which has caused major, major problems in my family.

I can't help but love them, though.

I agree entirely. I think if you're going to produce some offspring, you should be absolutely sure that you're going to be able to provide them time and attention that ALL CHILDREN need.

It seems like so many people plop their kids down in front of a television set and let that babysit them. I understand that its really HARD to raise kids in todays day and age where the cost of living requires two parents to work - but if you're going to reproduce, you should ensure that your kids will have enough of your attention and guidance to help them with their growth.

Not to knock anyone's parents, of course. We're all human and we all fuck up. But it just seems to me like so many people in the world today don't give a shit.

Same here. I have no relationship with either one of them and I have no real desire to have one with either one of them. Before you go telling me I should appreciate them and whatnot, please understand there's a valid reason for my indifference. It has nothing to do with past teen angst or anything like that. If you want to know, PM me.

I've basically been raising myself, I guess. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my father disappeared. I was left with my mother, who wasn't really there to begin with...

My relationship with my parents is not exactly what I would like it to be.
I myself have grown up in a home that is not hostile at all, but there is little closeness between me and my parents. Occasionally, I will divulge a few feelings of mine to my mom but nothing too deep, and I never really have any personal discussions with my dad. Usually my discussions with my father are limited to just matters of intellect.
Unfortunately as well, there was not a whole lot of explicit displays of affection in our family, so I seem to have trouble doing the same with others. Although, my parents definitely show love in more subtle and implicit ways. One time I had a conversation with my dad about how our family operated (and this was a very strained conversation, to say the least) and he was basically saying that he ran our family so that love was something that was inherently understood in how we interact, and did not need to be overtly expressed all the time.

I guess I feel like that Hasidic Jew boy from Chaim Potok's "The Chosen."

Stuff like that almost makes me wish that there was some kind of test people had to go through to have kids.

Surely, not EVERY human is fit to reproduce.

I get along pretty well with my parents. My mom is by nature very nosy and likes to stay as involved in my life as possible, which means that when she asks me stupid questions on the phone my little brother or my father get frustrated with her, but she and I have a good relationship and talk probably 4 times a week. My dad and I talk about once a week, sometimes twice. Growing up, my parents cared a lot and tried to make sure I got what they thought was best for me, and looking back I think they did a pretty decent job. I'm pleased with the way I was raised, and I blame my good relationship with my parents now largely on that factor.

Yea, I grew up like this too. Even today, I can not for the LIFE OF ME tell my sister "I love you."

Her ex-boyfriend (and a good friend of mine) once made fun of the two of us, telling us how mentally unhealthy we are. "You both want to say it to each other, but neither of you ever do."

If I was forced to for whatever reason, I would break down crying for hours. And I have no idea why.

My father tells us he loves us from time to time, but usually in the casual hanging-up-the-phone kind of way. He never really does anything but assault our personalities - which probably explains why I am such a bitter, hostile, distrustful person.

I love my mother - she is an incredibly selfless human being, but dislike my father. He is quite possibly the most passive-aggressive, petulant, ill-mannered, bipolar person I have ever met, and the older I get the more I realize how fucking crazy he is - really, talking to him is like going in infuriating circles. He constantly criticizes my mother as well, and that pisses me off to no end. I feel sorry for her that she married the guy.

I can totally relate to everything you just said, Sass. I can't imagine telling my brother or my sister that I love them, even though I do love them a lot. It would be too weird.

My parents were very openly affectionate with one another - almost to the point that we all wanted to vomit, but not so much with us kids. To this day I don't like to be touched or hugged. I won't even get a massage because I don't want someone putting their hands on me. All of my friends at work know that if I'm in a sad mood or something is wrong, the last thing I want is a hug. I just want to be left alone.

I have a pretty solid relationship with my parents. I like the fact that I can sit down and talk with them about personal issues, and then a few hours later laugh and joke with them on a different subject altogether.

I guess I am lucky that I have such a good relationship with them. My best friend has a sort of love/hate relationship with his mum, because they don't agree on certain things and what not, but I know for a fact that there is no bad blood between them.

We argue sometimes, as all teenagers do at some point, but me and my parents have never had a major falling out, so our relationship is pretty solid.

My relations with my parents is extremely bad. My father is a spoiled brat that couldnt make his own living toward family, my mother must work hard to schoolin my sis and me. Consequently, I never speak to my mother in daytime, only night will do because she always come home late. My granny is my mother, when she died year ago I cried as if I would like to go with her along. My father and my mother are not graduated from university, the way of their thinking is old-fashioned and conservative.

I know it's wrong to hate parents. But I just cant help it, my mother and my father always give least appreciation toward me. They never come to student concerts which I participated on, the reason is simply because they dont treat me as child, rather because of economic investment. That's what I thought from hourless lectures of my mother keep telling to become rich rich rich so that she will have happy living in her old day (it's common philosophy in chinese family).

But you know, everyone have problem, so all I could do is to become parent of my parent. by maturing myself and understanding their problems, I could
overcome my need to be loved by them.

I know how you feel, It's really gruesome to have a dad that could be considered a parasite in your house.

That actually just perfectly described my relationship with my parents, except everything has gone downhill since my mum died. Just add absuive and slightly neglective to the mix. My mum was the one who always made me feel loved.

I absolutely love my parents. They are smart, loving, supportive--i've been told by many of my friends that they consider me very, very lucky to have ben raised in such an environment.

But my father has some quirks that just drive me nuts sometimes. I don't know what it is, but they just annoy the hell outta me.

When he urinates, he leaves the door to the bathroom wide open; you can hear it from anywhere in the house. He'll have coughing and sneezing fits, but will not cover his mouth or make any attempt to redirect the spray. It just goes right out into the room. Late at night, he'll eat the leftovers of dinner that have been sitting at room temperature for five hours without bothering to reheat them to any kind of safe temp--and he wonders why he get diarrhea so often...

My parents did well to raise me by making me learn a lot about life on my own. If I asked them a question, most of the time they would make me try and figure it out myself. They never helped me with homework once, always saying that the answers are in my schoolbooks and, hopefully, somewhere in my brain. It's made me independent, but I still do ask them for help whenever I get into a jam I can't fix.

My relationship with them isn't very loving. We don't say things like I love you and other terms of affection. Most of the time we just joke around and end up being sarcastic about any given subject. My father and I like to wax politics about world events, but with me being a libertarian and my father leaning more towards being democratic, it's hard to find a middle ground in those debates. My mother and I just exchange jokes and share the same ire for modern television shows. I suppose my parents are just plain vanilla average, if not a little more humorous than that.

My parents are pretty cool. We've had our fair share of arguments in the past but i spend more time with my parents than with my friends because they're a damn sight more interesting sometimes. I spend practicaly every Friday night with my parents just talking about various stuff. I confide a fair bit of stuff in them, but not like my really personal stuff.

I'd say i have a pretty healthy relationship with my parents considering my age and my friends' relationships with their parents.

I have always got along pretty well with my parents. More so with my mother than my father. She listens to me and where my father yells over me. I can talk just about anything with her and she doesn’t try control my life like some of friends’ mothers do with there kids, she lets me make my own decisions.
I get along with my father somewhat, but more or less I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine. Hell, a lot of people are surprise I even have a father, I hardly ever talk about him.

My relationship with my parents is pretty good. I get along really well with my mom... We don't really argue alot and we care alot about each other. I still feel the same way towards my dad, but just eliminate that whole "We don't really argue," part. Me and my dad argue about the stupidest crap in the world and we'll get each other pissed off about it also. We tend to butt heads at the whole, "You're wrong, i'm right" thing. We'd just end up repeating details in the end.

Otherwise, it's pretty good.

My relationship with my parents is good. I grown up in a normal home that my parent teach me lot of thing, right now Im very happy because I can talk to them or ask them anything that I don t know.
They alway try to help me in anything that I need, also they teached me about relationship with other people were important.

My relationship with my parents are okay. I get along with my mother than I do with my father. She is a bit old-fashioned though and believes in not dating anyone until 21 and no sex before marriage.

My father and I are both incredibly stubborn. In an argument, we both refuse to step down. He usually uses his age and authority to try to win arguments. It's a bit unfair, but I usually try not to challenge that because it's just a waste of time.

The relationship I have with my dad, I think, is quite good. We can talk about anything, (examples: technology, army, music, history), and by the tone of his voice, I know he loves me. Sure I argue with him, but it's easily forgiven.

With my mom, I kind of feel bi-polar. Some days are really great, and others are terrible. I'm not sure what the issue is, I guess I'm just more like my dad.

Growing up (and still), I received a lot of love. Although, there were times I didn't feel it. Especially when I was very young, when my sister passed away, it was a rough time for my parents, and raising two other young children would have been very difficult.

I know I've grown apart from them over the past couple years, but the way they both treated me, the way they loved me, the way they disciplined me, is something I will never forget.

Blanka, those are some deep sentiments. I wish I can say the same for my parents, but I forgive them. I think having not so great parents prepares you to become a good parent in the future. You know what hurts and stuff.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be a parent...

Well, my dad died this Christmas at the age of 50 over a fluke heart attack (he was honestly even healthier than me, and I run track and basketball), so that really came out of nowhere. Before that happened, we weren't best friends, but I'd say that I was closer with my dad than most people are.

And I chill out with my mom any chance I get. She's like my big sister so I love her a lot. Between mom and dad, I'd only argue with dad. Not out of conflict of interests, but because we are all *afraid* of Mrs. Rocca. Terribly.

My relationship with my parents tends to be peaceful since I don't live at home during the semester. We see each other about twice a month, so there isn't anything to argue about. We understand each other fairly well also.

I'm really close with my mom but we're so alike that we also butt heads and have these constant emotionally draining conflicts everytime we're together. I love her to death but we can't spend more than 24 hours together without blowing up at each other.

My dad is kind of just there. He's a financial and emotional asshole and I can't really talk to him (our phone conversations are so awkward, they are actually hilarious) but he's got his own issues so I just let him deal with that.

I live away from home now but all the phone conversations tend to skew towards whether or not I'm killing myself eating junk or leaving my windows open in night so a murderer can crawl in, slit my throat and take my electric piano and laptop. It's nice seeing my parents after months away, no matter what I still miss them all the time.

I've always had a really good relationship with my parents: my mom is great on the whole, although she has her moments. Sometimes we have explosive yelling fights because she doesn't listen to what I'm saying, and therefore gets confused, and then won't listen to anything else I say. But she has a very short fuse. Normally we get along famously, though. My roommate can't believe how long I'm on the phone with her on an almost daily basis.

My dad is even-tempered and an overall great guy, and our personalities are quite similar, so I get along with my dad almost all the time. There are very few instances that I can remember when he has gotten upset at me, and when he does it's only for something really important that I've screwed up.
Besides, he endures me and my continuous stream of wierd foreign music in bizarre languages :).

Both my parents have always been supportive of me and my hobbies, and I really push myself more than they ever have. They never told me to get good grades, or do my homework, or practice (well, up until about a year ago...). Maybe I was just an easy kid, or something.

I am very close to my parents, and I have a lot of respect for my father. He has worked very hard in his life and has tons of experience in many different fields. I am quite proud to be his son, although I may never be as great as he is.

But you never know. Just got to learn as much as possible.

My relationship with my parents is, ...I don't know. They divorced last year.

We're just there. I don't really talk to my father, except when my mother calls him some days. Then I email him to say hi. Not much conversation.

I don't talk to my mother much either. She has two jobs so she's almost never home and when she comes home she usually just goes to sleep.
and on her days off, she goes and does her own things.

I keep hearing, "I love you" from them but it sounds empty sometimes.

Maybe it's me. Selfish Ungrateful jerk.

I look forward to the future.

Parents. Brrr... This poem comes to mind:

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.


Yeah, I dunno. My Dad's just uncannily like I am, plus some little things that add up, but we get along fine. My mom's very different, and I'd say that if we weren't related, we'd see things too differently to ever be close friends. And like the cliche goes, we've had out issues. Neither of them were perfect, but they tried their best, and that's what counts for me. Now I'm an adult, I guess we're now all adults, and have our weaknesses, insecurities, flaws and thus humanity.

I'm close with them, but I feel like there are just some stuff that I'll never be comfortable talking to them about. My mother has a tendency to overreact. She takes everything so seriously, even the most trivial matters. She's also extremely over-protective. I must have gotten like 6 missed calls on my cell phone when I went to watch a movie a year ago. -__- She has eased up but I still feel smothered on some occasions. My dad is more flexible, but sometimes I feel like he's just......there. He comes home from work, reads the paper, eats, watches tv, and then it's off to bed. I guess what we're missing is interaction. However, whenever we do interact, it just leads to conflict sometimes.

I have a very good relationship with my parents...there were some things we disagreed on, but now I look back and realize why they suggested what they did. I have received excellent advice and always go to them for help...and they come to me for help (with the computer). I don't think I'd be as successful as I have been in some of my affairs if it hadn't been for them...I always can't wait to go home.

Relationship?

..oh brother

I'd just like to say - however sad this sounds - we use one another.
I'm the full time babysitter, housemaid, secretary, resume/essay etc. etc. writer. And in return they yell at me and tell me I'm incompetent (that aside) they give me food, shelter and clothes..... you know the necessities?

That's all I have to say about my lovely relationship *cough* lies *cough* with my parents.

I have a peaceful relationship with my parents. we respect eachother and get along nicely because of it. I don't generally have much to fight about with them, and I've never been the type to go on something like livejournal and say how much I hate them because they wouldn't let me go out with friends, or some dumb shit like that.

I can talk to them about a lot of things, but neither of them are my soul confidants. I do tell them things, but I don't tell them everything. it's also more so my mother that I would talk to about things with rather than my father.

sometimes I get a little disappointed in them and think they don't support what I want to do with my life, just because they don't seem to show much interest in going to gallery shows I'm involved in, or coming with me to university interviews instead of just dropping me off and picking me up later. I think maybe it has more to do with denial in that I'm their youngest child/only daugher and I'll be going out on my own next year instead of staying a little girl forever. I've heard from other people that they're proud of me, but sometimes you just want to know for sure and hear it from them.

I think they did a good job bringing me up, because even if I didn't agree with everything when I was younger, I'm happy with who I am now and I have them to thank for helping to shape who that is.

I have a good relationship with my parents, but I guess it's more of a superficial kind. I would never confide my personal thoughts or feelings or goals to them. Sometimes we'd talk about political or social issues, or about a movie, but nothing really personal. My dad has a way of shooting down anything that he doesn't like or agree with, and he seems to live vicariously through me. My dad is very controlling, and there are some personality flaws that annoy the hell out of me. I think I would have been happier if he doesn't try to direct my life, and we'd have a better deeper relationship.

I'm closer to my mom, but I love both my parents. But we've never been big on displays of affection. I've never told my brother or parents that I love them, and they've never said the same to me, although we all know we love each other. Just the thought of saying that to them makes me cringe. I cannot do it, and I'd be embarassed as hell if they say it to me.

An interesting question is - if your parents weren't your parents, would you still love them? For themselves, as people.

My dad and I have a pretty good relationship. We have similar interests and are both creative people. My mom and I, however... It's not that we don't have a good relationship. We get along just fine. We can hold a conversation with each other. The problem is just that she complains about things quite often, usually items that really shouldn't be of concern.

I dont think I can say that I can get a long with my parents...

It's taken a while for me to even talk to them.

I am 17 now, gonna be 18, and I still refuse to get along with them.

Here's important question for you all: if your parent is passed away, let's just say the one you hate most... will you cry for him/her?

honestly, I wouldn cry for my father's death, because I never admit him as father. I have cried when my beloved granny passed away, and I swear to myself that I wont cry for anyone anymore. And also... how could you cry to someone you never able to love anyway?

Ive grown apart from my parents lately, and although I feel bad and wish I could express more affection, it in turn has changed me into a much more independent person which is a good trait to have at 19.

Hmm. I love my mom and dad a lot. I can`t even remember them ever being together(they separated when I was about 1,5-2 years old) and we`ve had our ups and downs, but they`ve always been there for me and supported me in any way that they could. They`ve never questioned the paths I`ve taken and are always telling me that they`ll support my decisions no matter what. I was almost never told what to do as a kid, maybe because I was such an obedient one ^^. But they never spoiled me. Well, at least my dad never did. He had this policy of never spoiling me and my brother because of some issues he had growing up. Dunno the details though. In my mom`s case, hadn`t she been so poor she would have definately spoiled me. She`s always been the kind that tries really hard to please people, a trait I value highly. From mom, I`ve learned how to cook. Although I`ve always thought that her food was a bit rich, the food I make nowadays are all inspired by my mom`s cooking. Now, my dad`s a terrible cook, but he`s pretty good with his hands when it comes to repairing stuff. From him, I`ve learned not to rely to heavily on other people to do stuff for me and that I should try to to fix things myself if I can.

All in all, I`ve had great parents. I just wish their economy was a bit better so that we could have done more stuff together when I was a kid. But then again I know that I can always rely on them to support me if I need them. I try to talk to them as often as I can, but I just can`t seem to get the time nowadays. Maybe I should call them tonight?

Not very well. My mom works all the time and I only see her at night. She tries to be slick and is very annoying. She asks the same questions and makes the same statements over and over until you have to yell at her for being annoying. For example, she comes in my room with a plate of oranges and asks if I want any. I say, "no" and then she asks, "you don't want any? it's sweet." I say, "no" again and she stands there looking around my room then looks at me again, "you don't want any?" and then I get annoyed and tell her that she just asked me the same question 3 times and I keep saying, "no" and how many times is she going to bother me with the same questions.

My dad is ignorant and stuborn. He always puts me and my sister down when we try to talk to him and never considers what we have to say; that's why we don't like talking to him anymore. We only talk to him when we need help. For example, his health insurance covers us so we need to ask him which doctors are accepting his insurance. He always digresses too. I was learning stick shift and asked him if it's always nessesary to down shift when braking, then he gives a freaking lecture about what happens when you step on the clutch. He didn't even answer my question, I usually ignore what he says once he starts his useless lectures. He also always thinks he's right and yells at me and my sister when we oppose him. One time we were arguing about how a device worked and said to me, "you don't listen to me!!" then I stepped in and said, "No, YOU don't listen to me!!" then showed him right there how the device worked and he was speechless. It felt so good to prove him wrong and to step on his cockiness but the next time we talked he was his same old self again.

Me, my sister, and dad don't have a love warming expressing relationship but we live together and have small compromises. Unfortunately, this is as far as I see that it'll go.
My mom.. it's already like she's not here. She has practically no influence on my life.

So I don't really have a relationship with my parents. It's like they take care of me because it's their job as parents and not that they want to. But I'm trying to learn to be grateful to them because right now they're one of the very few things in life that matters most to me; even with that kind of relationship.

i don't really have a relationship at all with my parents, it just consists of phonecalls a few times a week now that i've moved away to university and when i'm at home, it's just to tell them i'm going out or them asking if i need money.

i have the same problem, been told so many times that i'm just a waste of money (despite the fact that my education so far has cost about £70000 GBP was purely their fault, they wanted the fame of having a daughter at a well known private school). in my entire life, only my mum has once attended a concert i was in and that was when my dad and sister had gone back to hong kong for my grandad's funeral. they base my worth solely on academic achievements and so no 'love' was lavished on me in the sense a child would understand; i was made to have private tutuition and take exams since i was 2, made to learn the violin because it's common chinese belief that knowing a musical instrument makes your child instantly smarter, expect to be able to take care of myself while they worked downstairs etc. being a girl also meant that as i grew up at home, i was unable to socialise with people after school hours even when i turned legally an adult.

but the relationship has improved recently between my mother and i since i've moved out, we talk a bit more, but i still don't divulge anything about me other than what i've been eating and how my piano lessons are going. i barely talk to my dad because he just annoys the hell out of me and just keeps offering more pocket money thinking that'll solve the problem.

My Mum loves me a heck of a lot, but we've been through so much together it kind of strained us. My Dad was killed when I was four, and Mum remarried a few times .. most of which were mistakes in my opinion, but then again I've never been married so I can't say. My current stepfather, though, is awesome. I'd pretty much decided that all men were abusive jerks who didn't deserve to live when my Mum married him, I was about ten. He totally changed my mind. He is as calm and considerate and logical as my Mum is explosive and emotional. While I have no idea how they ended up together, I'm really glad they did. Since I moved away to Uni we havn't seen each other, because I go to school on the West coast and they live on the East coast, and I'm too poor to travel, but I do call them every week.

As far as a relationship goes, it wasn't much beyond mutual assistance with my Mum. She helped me out, because I'm her daughter, and I helped her out every way I could, because she's my Mum. I don't think there was anything wrong with that, if we'd had enough time outside of work and school maybe things would have been different.

Xuemin... reading what you've been through, it's must be kinda hard. coz that's exactly what I feel too. But I try to forgive my parents too, because they must be suffered something that make them unable to become "perfect" parent" for us.

But somehow we could learn something from our problems. Let's become better parents, at least not repeating the same mistakes...

My parents have been good to me, and I have no complaints. I get on just about fine with my mom, even though we have nothing whatsoever in common. My dad on the other hand is a bit more difficult. It's not really his fault. He's stubborn, and has pretty much no attention span, which means that conversations between us often devolve into "but that's not what I said! It's not even close!!!" because to be blunt, he wasn't listening.

I have a great relationship with my mom. She's amazing and I'm very close with her. My dad however, is a different story. I hate him and I would never speak to him if I had the choice. We are completely different people and have completely different viewpoints on everything. He's extremely rude to my mom and takes her for granted. I also grew up away from him, I only saw him for about two weeks each year, not that I would've wanted it any other way.

I never got along with my parents. My dad simply never cared and my mom is an insane maniac that lives on the pain and suffering of others... To keep it short a prisoncamp would have been a more loving environment than the one I grew up in. Still now that I've finally escaped and I can actually say that I'm a very happy person (something that drives my mom crazy) they try to destroy my life. I guess that one of the things that scare me the most in life is them and my older brother... the guy's completely psychotic...

I have wonderful parents, I love them but it distresses me how often I overlook them.

I have a great relationship with my mother. She and I relate to each other well.

I don't have any type of relationship with my father. I don't particularly like his personality or the way he reacts to things. He is very arrogant and overemotional. I don't hate him, but neither do i like him.

I have a great relationship with my mother. It hasn't always been that way. We went three years without talking when I first fled from the nest. I needed my own space but now that I've found myself and am well on my way, we get along great. I call her at least 3 times a week. Too bad she can't fit in my pocket. I'd let her dance around on my dash when I'm bored.

Her husband is a douche. He's sore over the fact that I'm going to pay for their divorce and take care of my family that he neglects. I've been in fist fights with him as a teen. I don't like anyone treating my mother or brother like shit. I have compassion for him still, but I've had enough.

Hmmm, well I have a good relationship with my father, probably due to the fact that I don't live with him. If I did we'd clash all the time I'm guessing, which is what happens between me and my mother.

I love my mother, but I can't stand her and her way of thinking sometimes. It's her way or the highway, etc. Most of the time we get by ok, but every now and then we butt heads and it ain't pretty.

Tch, I've never had a decent relationship with my parents. As a matter of fact, I think they plan to assassinate me...

But seriously, I've never had a close relationship with either of them. Me and my mother are always at odds with each other, because of her hardcore religious ways, and my dad is someone who I can't talk to without getting into an conflict of some sort, mainly because of the fact that I just disagree with a lot of the things he's done and his morals. So nowadays, I generally tend to avoid them as much as possible, by staying out and not coming home until late. It's not that I don't love them, though, I still care for them as any child to parent would, but it's just that we just can't seem to get along.

I've always gotten on well with my mother. I guess in that sense I'm a bit of a mummy's boy. She's always been very supportive of me and respected my decisions so I've never had any problems with her.

My relationship with my father has been a little more turbulent. Before I left home especially. Living with him became very difficult, it was one of those cases where if he walked in the room and you were there he would start a fight or complain about something. I of course, was quite firey back would often rise to the complaints and start an arguement.

Things seem to have settled down a little since I've moved away from home. Whenever I go back home for a weekendor something things are more settled. Provided I don't hang around for more than a couple of days anyway, or we both start to grate on eachother again and things start getting heated...

There was a peaceful period for me and my mom. And then I changed - I admit I am the sole reason our bond has no kind of balance. "Now" I do not like this lady, I hate being around her, and it's a shame that if I persue that free life I've been wanting for some time, it will come at the cost of my mom being without a home and stuff cause she can't work and no one but me cares about her.

Well... I have good relationship with my mom and dad... But, I prefer to spend my time with my friends than with my family

I love my parents very much. My family's not exactly the type to show that we care and love each other by hugging and kissing, but more through little stuff that we do for each other, though my dad would hug us kids when we're down. My parents are really supportive and have sacrificed a lot for me, for which I'm thankful for. My mum can be a bit over anxious for us sometimes and each time I go camping with friends I always get overloaded with stuff she insists I take -- just in case! Dad is more the family guy, making us kids the breakfast and packed lunches and bedtime stories thingy, while mum is more the school-teacher (she is a maths teacher anyway) and fusses more over our academic stuff and discipline. I used to be scared of homework time in the evenings cos' my mum can be rather like a volcano at times, but ever since starting high school mum has given me more independence and is more a friend than the authority figure now. We do have our disagreements, of course, now and then, and tempers would flare but I would say our relationship is still great. :)

I lost a lot of respect for my mother over the years. She use to be a strong, independant woman who could be piss-n-vinegar-n-thunder when need be. However, since she's lived with her boyfriend, she's gotten meek and mostly lacking in spine. She became housebroken, for lack of a better word.

No one on either side of my family likes my mom's boyfriend. Before my grandfather died, it was the only subject that really bothered him any. Once or twice, he'd swear up and down that if Ed did anything (throw me out of the house, etc) he'd beat the life out of him. Which was both amusing and scary - imagine comedian Jonathan Winters cleaning a 1874 Sharps Buffalo Rifle.

My relationship with my father is weird and depending on circumstances. It always has been - as my father is quite literally Frasier Crane. (Not that my father is actor Kelsey Grammer but that he is 101% the character he's known for), while my Uncle Matthew is Niles

Out of sympathizing purposes, could you tell us why you don't like him? Do you think your mother is happy with him? Is he very overbearing?

Why do YOU dislike him? Has your mother been with a nice guy since the divorce?

He tried to be the "muscle" for my mother on a couple of occasions. He threw me out of the house in... 2000(?) for being unable to find another job aside from fixing cars on the weekend (not that I wasn't trying, I just couldn't find a second job). We don't get along at all.

He went batshit when I didn't get my driver's license on my first test. I wouldn't call him abusive per se because he never laid a hand on me, not even when I tried to stand my ground with my Louisville Slugger. He's just a overbearing dick who thinks he knows everything. However, he learned one hell of an important lesson when he kicked me out of the house - and that was that my family fucking foams at the mouth when in a heated arguement. (He called to tell the grandmother I was staying with that "if (I) was any problem, he'd come down and take care of me" and her Irish temperment kicked in. It was one of the only times I've heard that woman swear and by far the worst). I had family near Buffallo volunteering to come down and shitbeat him.

One time, I purposely picked my ass and wiped it on his side of the bed. True story.

See, heres a neat little story. My mom is actually a twin. She was the straight-laced, schoolgirl while her sister was the wildchild who was out all the time. My mother always liked assholes or shallow guys or the like - her sister dated really nice "family" type guys. In fact, my sister's husband got me the job that I have now - he's a really, really great guy and he really, really hates my mom's BF.

I'm stating the obvious, but verbal/mental abuse is still abuse.

I get along with my parents better now than I probably ever have.

I don't play cards like that. If I'm going to cry about emotional duress because my mom is dating some asshole, I might as well sue Spain for a billion dollars because they raped my Irish ancestors.

I really don't know how close you are to your Ma - depending on how close, and how much you care, there are ways to get him out of the house. Sabotage the relationship, if you get my gist.

But if she's happy, fuck. Thats a hard pill to swallow, man. I can't imagine a woman being too happy in those kinds of circumstances - but if ever she wants out, and she feels kind of helpless, you have options to help her. ^_^

Fuck that. I'd just burn the house down. (But now I can't because of the kitty)

I told her many years ago that if she married him, I'd disown her outright and never talk to her again. She's never mentioned the idea to me for probably a decade now.

PLEASE do not burn the kitty. ;_;

Man, welcome to MY world. I am glad I'm not the only asshole out there who throws ultimatums at my parents.

My mother fends for herself pretty well. But my father is a complete DIPSHIT when it comes to women. I've been working on him about Cheryl for about 3 weeks now. I've finally made some progress.

See, he doesn't endure abuse so much as he does women trying to bleed him of everything he has. And I will be fucked by a chainsaw if he EVER marries this bitch.

I think I'd have a breakdown if she ran away or died on me.

Don't get me wrong - I act like a foaming madman when certain things happen. I became a raging asshole when the guy put my shoes outside the other week - and I called my mom out on it by leaving the most obscene voicemail at her office. "You fucking jamrag. You're stupid cock-nosed bitch of boytoy fucking left my fucking shoes outside the fucking motherfucking door!" or something to that effect for about 3 minutes. I know for certain I said "fuck" more times than usual and definitely called her jamrag.

I don't get along very well with my parents, my father always thinks he's right like i have to say nothing, often criticise little things... as for my mother she's very kind!

I get on with my mum when its not that time of the month for her (at which point she is a total nightmare).

I hate my dad... he had an affair, blackmailed me when i found out not to tell my mum, then when my mum did find out, he came back for a couple of years and then fucked off again for good... so yeah.. im not just over-exaggerating when i say i hate him

I don't get on well with my parents. They both mean well, but seldom do well, and they were lax enough in the beggining that now, towards the end, their efforts to curb my behavior are met with defiance. I've been kicked out once, beat a couple times, scared shitless a few, and had more fights with both of them than I care to count.

My mother has always been harder to deal with. She's a flamboyant Italian who's, seriously now, not of sound mind. Something snapped when they divorced, and she's gotten worse as time goes by. However, she's always been a liar, and has absolutely no tact at all. No amount of enthusiam for being the mom's mom could change the fact she was bad at it.

My dad is a great man, and I've more respect and admiration for him than most people. That only goes so far though, and it doesn't change the fact that he's never really been there, not sincerely. He treats being a father as I treat being a sutdent, just something he has to do. Living with him since the divorce is more fun than it should be, as I'm treated more like a roomie than a son.

This probably paints a bleak picture, but I don't mean for it to. I've taken advantage of everything, and it's not as though I've made their job easier for them. But it's all truth.

And hey, I turned out okay, and they sure did try. They still are, actually. In the end I suppose blood ties are just that though, and if they call I'll come. I won't like it though.

My dad pretty much leaves me alone. He's only interfere with my grades and my money usage when it's going way out of control.

My mom nags a lot and does not support me much. She doesn't respect me when I tell her a secret. She dislikes it when I bring friends home and wastes "her" electricity when they come in and use our computers and turn on the lights.
Today a friend of mine came and stayed until around 10PM because we were working on a report. Her home is a hour away, and she had to ride in the public transportations, which wasn't quite safe for a 17-year-old girl. My mom asked her if she'd like to stay for the night, but my friend said that her mom told her to come home. I thought my mom had changed, but after my friend had left, my mom told me, "Now don't misunderstand. What I asked was only out of obligation. Don't take it seriously."

Humph. Such hospitality. You'd just feel sick how she treats her own guests and their sons when they come over. She'd cook, pour drinks, ask if they're hungry, ask if they needed more to eat, tell me to set up video games for the little twins, tell the two to get me when they're stuck in a stage, peel and slice apples until they cry it's too much, etc etc.

Firstly, I'm chinese. That said, it's pretty much self-explainatory.

Until I'm off to college, it's nothing but bitching about hard-working, straight A's, and forcing me to consume home brewed soup ensured to increase longevity after dinner everyday. IMHO, however, I can see how they will seem to be "those great parents" when, they actually aren't there to bitch at me. But right now, ugh.

Sigh . . . I know how it is. I'm Vietnamese so the parents are always after me about marks and stuff . . . This is prob why my relationship with the parents have suffered over the years. Trying to please the parents is so damned hard sometimes . . . Whenever I get bad marks, my parents gets into an argument with me . . . I never really get anything in the way of positive encouragement from them. It's mostly the "you're so damn stupid" and "why don't you use your fucking head?"

That being said, they do provide food and a roof over my head. So I'm grateful for that . . . but there's not really any closeness between us. It's really more of a stalemate than anything else.

Yeah, it is closely the same in my house. I'm not Vietnamese or anything just American, but I was adopted as a child. And my foster parents are driven that I must be perfect. I've literaly made 93-96's in all my classes one year of school and yet they still seem to think "I'm a dumb motherfucker that will amount to nothing in my life." Lately, i've grown not to care what they see about me. I don't worry about my grades anymore, beacuse nothing is ever good enough.

I had a very close relationship with my mom. My parents were divorced for most of my life and I rarely ever saw my dad who of which had my two brothers of which I have nothing in common with. I lived with my mom till I was 16 and then she died of cancer. Then I lived with my dad and we don't really get along all that well. To summarize he's no stranger to money and has a fair amount of it and basically my two brothers leech off of him while I try and make my own way and usually get penalized (sp?) for it. I think my dad just tries to hard to get me to like him. He sent me to the same college that he sent my brothers to and went bolistic on me for wanting to go somewhere else. Lately he's been getting better but I still have no idea what my mom saw in him. Anyway, I associate with him as little as possible.

My relationship with my parents is rather distant... Never really hung out with my dad (he was always overseas, but spoke to us often on the phone) so it's a little awkward with him. My mom... strained. She's kind of this traditional freak, though she's been trying to be alittle less uptight. However, speaking to either of them about anything like clubbing, drinking, and boyfriends is essentially impossible without getting into major trouble of sorts for even bringing it up.

This is coming from a chick who was not allowed to sleep over friends house, not allowed to go out past 10 pm or have a boyfriend that my parents knew about until i was 21 (at first) or out of college (once they realised i hit 18 yrs). I was repressed by their expectations for the most part when I was still living with them...

The situation between me and my mom has got worse about a week ago. Our biggest argument ended in her crying. She keeps comparing the present "me" with the past "me". That didn't feel all that great as much to say with her crying though. Providing the full story, she thinks I've become consumed by satan because I go up against her so much. It's only cause each passing day that she doesn't do something with herself, it pisses me off more and more. I should calm down though..she's thinking about putting me out. She once said "I'm sorry I am your mama". No..I am not sorry you are my mama.

It's been kinda odd, my relationship with my parents, is...well...somthing but not much of anything, mostly due to the fact my parents are fairly in the office all hours (Not helped that my old man is in the Teritoral Army (sp) ) so we normaly don't see eachother.

It's not "Strangers in the same home" but the only real time we get to talk is ether watching somthing on TV that intrets us all (Corination Street has been somthing as of late with it's stroyline) or Sunday Dinner.

Then again, I was sorta withdrawn in HS so that might have somthin' to do with it.

Wow, how do you deal with all that negativity, especially from your parents?

How to describe this...

My father walked out on me when I was 6, and I've seen him for a total of 6 weeks in the last 21 or so years.

As for my mother...some may say I'm TOO close to her as I still live at home. Right now, though, that's a good thing. Since if I didn't, she'd have no-one to help her out of bed and onto the commode (See cj for explanation).

I love my parents, but we argue more than we should. We argue quite a bit, bit it's mostly trivial, resulting from frustration or their annoying habit of jumping to conclusions and refusing to admit it. They're also always pretty strict on grades. "It's an A? Why isn't it an A+?!" :p

It's quite a rollercoaster ride, really, but I've never sworn at my parents. I'm also appalled by the fact that people can tell their parents to shut up when they're just doing their jobs as, well, parents. And then when they need money, it's all lovey-dovey. I don't really understand that.

Actually, I was just at the mall today when I overheard some girl yelling at her mom in the fitting rooms.
Mom: Here, try this one on! It looks really nice!
Girl: Shut up, mom! I'm choosing my clothes, so f off.
Sad.

Over the years, we've distanced, but I still call my mom either "mommy" or "mumsy," and my dad "daddy." :edgartpg: I get picked on for that by my friends, but it feels really strange when I'm directly addressing them as "mom" or "dad."

My parents are the reason why I'm still here, in uni, happy and life-loving.

Sure, they may be Chinese (strict, expecting good academic results etc.) but I guess that an advantage I have as being Chinese. Although they couldn't control the Aussie side of me (rebellion, speaking English to my bro etc, trying to become a "try-hard gangsta") their tough stances on their values, morals and ways to raise both me and my brother were excellent and effective. Why am I still not a try-hard gangster? I grew up a passive and quite boy, which are characteristics unsuited for a "gangster" (as I found out the hard way).

Not only that, my thoughts, ideas, philosophies, morals and values are strong and my will to always help others are because of my parents. My brother and I don't have everything we want and that's a good thing. My brother and I don't do stuff like drugs and alcohol and stuff. My brother and I hang out with people we know we can trust rather than people who could turn their backs on you at any moment.

Basically, my parents have taught me more than just to lead a successful life and perform well (academically). My parents have instilled me with the necessary things vital for surviving and enjoying life to the fullest. They have also helped us be able to make our own decisions and figure out our own dilemmas and complications and have always told us to help others. All of which I'm grateful of.

It sounds like a love letter about my parents, but in reality they've put so much work into my bro and I that they go out of their way and bend their lives just to see us successful and happy. They even go out of their way to be able to buy my bro and I computers, laptops and stuff I need as an Architecure student at Uni. No matter how big the thing is, they move their life out of the way to help make our lives easier. If they aren't great parents I don't know what is.

I plan to thank them in the future and repay to them the amount of love and care they've put in for me.

~Fin~ ^_^

Hm, well, my parents live in NJ, and I live in FL. Honestly since I moved out of my mother's apartment 7 years ago, we have gotten along MUCH better. We used to fight all the time. Sometimes physically. I've been threatened by pots and pans, and I remember a few good beatings in my childhood. Now, we talk once or twice a month on the phone, and we are pretty good friends. Yes, more like friends than mother/daughter.

My father. We get along ok. I've had some issues with him, too, but when you don't see people constantly, I believe you tend to get along better with them.

I have a strange relationship with my parents sometimes kinda stressful... Well my father I don't really speak to him, and haven't seen him in years...he left right after I was born, and then I didn't see him again til I was about 8 then again at 10, almost every year til I was 14 and I haven't seen him since, and I'll be 20 next month. I went down to FL where he lives with his side of the family, and I stayed with my grandmother where he supossedly lives, and he knew that I was coming down, but "convienently" had to leave, and couldn't be there that day...then he called after I got back home, and made some bogus ass excuse...so I haven't spoken to him since and that was last summer...So as you can see I don't really care one way or another for him...if I never saw him again I doubt that I would care...

My mother on the other hand that's kinda complex...for awhile it was really superficial...I never heard her tell me she loved me more than 5 times my whole life (a generous approximation) until I left for college...she's said it more now, but I still feel weird saying it to her now, it feels akward... but besides that I never really shared any secrets, or any of my feelings with her at all... she doesn't know most of the big things that have happened to me and probably never will. I grew up in a house that you never really shared your feelings, and things were kept secret...I hate secrets now... but besides that we talk about school, tv, you know superficial topics nothing really deep...

That's about it... no real tight relationship... oh well...I'll do better by my own kids... :)

I don't talk to either of my perents much at all. Maybe 2-5 sentences a day. Even If I'm alone with one of them I try to avoid talking to them becuase I honestly hate to hear them talk. It annoys me.

I've never met my biological dad, and today my mother told me she thought I was gay. God, I love my parents!

i have a pretty good relationship with my parents and i love them very much.
although there has been conflicts they all seemed to solve themselves out.
my parents are actually quite open than most asian parents such that they don't use the 'reverse psychology' (i've done so much for you and this is how you thank me) crap all that much.

i just think they've been more tolerant than they should.

it's not that i am unapprecitive but on rare occasion i do wish for parents that do not care for me just to see what i'll become. (and whether i'll still show the same love as i have now).


---
on that note.... i do have a small situation i' was gonna ask:
how does one deal/talk with unreasonable parents who think they've provided their children with everything (they are rich) but cannot see that their children wants to be independent because the parents want to save their face/reputation (ie forbids their kids to get a job because it'll look bad, have special cars to take them to elementary school, have guards following them around).

I have a great deal of respect for my mum and we get along just peachy. There are the occasional fights concerning tuition costs and grades, but that's about it.

Father has a difficult time managing his anger. It was always the little things that piss him off. I've always been passive whenever he gets moody. In a typical scenerio, he'd either throw/damage furniture around the house or try killing himself. The latter is just him going for the drama, fucking up the household in the process. As long as we are a couple-of-states apart, we're cool.

I would like to think that I have a good relationship with my parents, but over the last few years my mom has made my life incredibly difficult.

I love both of my parents very much and they have helped me through a lot of my tough times in my life. Whatever they have done for me I still respect them for it.

My Dad is the best person in the world, and the only parent that has truly been there for me all throughout my life. He has respected all my hobbies, and has been supportive of every decision I have ever made. he has helped me find summer jobs, and we have really good discussions. He is just a great dad, because what makes him a great dad is that he would wake you up 5 o'clock or 6 o'clock on a sunday morning when I was 10 years old and we'd watch b action movies like delta force, no retreat no surrender and many others that came on basic cable. He didn't care if there was swearing, blood or nudity, we just had a good time with it.

My mom on the otherhand is very controlling woman and puts these incredibly high expectations on me, that if you don't meet her expectations she looks down to me. Makes me feel less of a person because of it.

I'll give you an example; If you come home, and she asks what grade did you get on an exam, you told her you got a 99%, instead of congratulating you she'll ask why couldn't you have gotten a 100% and argue with me about it.

Throughout my entire life, I felt like whatever I did was never good enough for her. What really boggles my mind is the fact that she use to say that your not doing these things for me, you should be doing them for yourself. If thats the case then why is she criticising me for things that I feel are an accomplishment for me. She evens opens my mail if it says personal and confidential.

She just never liked how I turned out as a person, having all these interests that she thinks is strange or a complete waste of time such as:

1.) Anime
2.) Video Games
3.) Dance Dance Revolution

Whats really hurting my relationship with my mother is that she is on a neverending crusade to get me to break up with my gf because she can't stand her, because she is a pagan, she is into all the same things I'm into, and that she has a lot of animals. She thinks a lot of the things I'm into are childish and she eventually thought that when it came time for me to settle down, she thought I would give up all this childishness. She doesn't even consider my gf a real woman because she is into the same things I'm into.

Despite all the friction there is between my mom and I, I still do care about her and I try my best to look at it from her point of view, but she has to realize that she has to let me live my own life and learn from my own decisions.

I guess my relationship with my parents is okay. My dad moved to Tampa when I was very young, so I don't get to see him that much, but when I do there's never any problems.

I lived with my mom until a couple years ago. She's made some damn stupid mistakes, mainly marrying a guy who beat me for 10 years, even after she found out about it. Which is most of the reason I moved out of her house. I told her if he didn't leave, then I would, and she wouldn't make him leave, so I packed my things and moved in with my grandparents. This was some time before they were married though. I'm still a bit mad at her for being so stupid, but for the most part, we're still cool, I suppose.

My relationship with my parents is close. Well, maybe not that close, eg. parents who call their children 'darling' or 'love'.

Both my mom and dad are understanding. We can sit down and discuss problems together. I guess in my case, it is a typical, strict (boring, or old fashioned, if you prefer to call it) Chinese family in Malaysia where in the daytime, everyone's off to work and at night, we'll enjoy tv programmes in the living hall.

I wish I had had parents that pushed me to pursue a better education.

My relationship with my Mother, who is in the States, has improved a ton over the last few years. I used to lose my temper with her easily and often, and it really bothered her and I can't blame her. I've finally learned to let go of the past and just accept her for the fact that she's my mother and I'll never have another. Now we talk, and although I impatiently snap at her every once in a while I've gotten and am getting much better. She loves me (a little too protective though) and I love her.

My father, on the other hand, I can say I've seen a good three weeks worth of time in my life (only because I lived with him the majority of those three weeks of accumulated days) in the last year and probably the rest of my life, for that matter. I have never met a man I was so much alike yet so different to. Extremely intelligent, extremely Catholic, extremely traditional and extremely closeminded. I'd beat the living shit out of him if he weren't my father and if he weren't 67. That sums him up.

Additional Spam:
Sorry about this ancient bump. I checked someone's profile recently and saw they had posted in here. So, naturally assuming it wasn't ELEVEN MONTHS DEAD I took the time to post. Maybe we can get some fresh posts in here?

Can do..

My parents are incredibly different, and if they didn't live by the same last name and send each other cards for their anniversary you wouldn't believe they were married. Not that they argue; they're kind of like yin and yang. I can get along with them, but as they are so different so are the ways I deal with them.

My mother I would describe as a constant tempest. She's a stubborn, persistant and driven woman. She moves with an ethereal scary force that never seems to burn out. She also treats most people like they aren't listening to her, because mostly that's what she has to put up with. It frustrates me and mostly that's why we argue. That and I'm pretty damn stubborn myself and neither of us will back down in an argument.

My father... he's very enigmatic. He's quiet, generous and slow to anger, but when he does it's a fearful sight. If I could describe my mother as impulsive he would be the opposite of that. He's also very distant. I'd say that's why I have quite an equal relationship with both of them; I may argue more with my mother but that doesn't mean I get on better with my father.

They're both good people and I would defend them to the hilt but I wouldn't say we're close.

^This situation has upgraded since the last year. To a far worser scale.

For starters I've completly shut my dad out of my life. Fake bastard.

My mom loves to assume stuff about me. That is all she ever does is assume. Hell most people assume shit about me - would it kill you to ask questions to get a better understanding? My actions cannot explain what goes on in my mind, only I can tell you what I'm feeling. It's irritating when you spew your guts out to someone and they continue to think all kinds of false shit or do what my mom does - tell ME how I'm feeling(lol). Just like last night, I walked out of my room and left my door open(thought she was sleep so I didn't close it behind me) so comes out to place a sheet over her door and I happen to notice her looking in my room.

Feeling embarrassed, I went to shut my door. I don't like her seeing how messy it is. Man why did I do that...

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SHUT YOUR DOOR CAUSE I LOOKED IN THERE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN YOUR ROOM BOY"

"WESLEY YOU NEED TO FORM A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF YOUR STINK ATTITUDE".

. . .So I had to spend 10 minutes explaining my actions and telling her to please stop being so overly assuming of me. She'll never believe it but it makes me feel bad when she gets mad. All considering my "plans" for her were to keep her happy - though these past 12 years I've done the opposite which I'm sure is why she assumes the worse of me now. I feel like I should not say anything to her.

I've gone near broke for her. Coughed up 350$ to pay for a college bill she refused to pay for 10 years(it reached 1100$), when I didn't even have to. When my back went out in 2004 and Kroger didn't pay for it, Me, Myself, my checks and I paid for that bill for 2 years. No one helped me. She has a lot of problems brough on from bad decisions made early up the road that she tries to get me to fix.

But I'm this full of evil bad guy who hates people and shuts doors to be nasty. Nevermind his punkass dad who loves to tell him he'll do something and never do it, no calls or anything. I'll never forgot thanksgiving "daddy". Go fuck yourself.

A sheet over her door?

Anyhow, you're a good person Winter and you deserve a better relationship than this with your mother. NO ONE probably knows her better than you, and with that I really really think you should try and figure out how to avoid doing the things she doesn't like and how to improve your communications. She seems every bit as irrational as mine but she's still your mother and she still loves you and probably would love to start a better relationship with you. Just try something out, you don't want to have to regret this in the future.

Dads suck ass.

I probably never posted in this thread because it's kind of awkward to admit that my relationship with my parents is actually really good. My mom is a super nice person, and my dad is really smart and they both help me out loads, and didn't even complain when I went for music college instead of doing IT (or whatever I was planning to do before I went insane).

The only minor complaint I can have about my dad (and it's very minor, I count my blessings when it comes to my parents) is that he's somewhat manipulative. He'll never outright say "you can't do this", but he'll maneuver in such a way that the only way you could do something he doesn't want to happen is to be blatantly oblivious and rude. The saying "give him an inch and he'll take a mile" also applies to him a lot. He's also a little judgmental, especially when it comes to my friends (and more importantly, girlfriends).

These are just the worst parts of his personality and make him out to be some kind of mean person--and he's really not. He has a great ability to adapt to new situations and make friends, a great musical taste (anybody have a dad who likes Autechre?), and is just a really interesting person to talk to. He's about as cool as a father can possibly be. He even plays video games. But not as much as my mom, who is really into Zelda right now, after having played Okami, Pikmin 2 and Katamari Damacy. Yeah...

So yeah, I guess it's not rock 'n' roll and it's not cool, but my parents are great. =D

Sure. I never noticed this thread. O.o'

But um... its kinda awkward to mention that I don't have parents at all.

Specifics are my mother was in college fucking around (literally) and one young guy (probably a freshman) and her geography professor were two of the maybes that may be my father. :\ She didn't bother to find out who of course til it became apparent to her that I was deaf when I was 2 years old. She remembered that the professor had a deaf teenage daughter and wrote a letter to him for a paternity test. Of course naturally being in his late 50s or so and married with a family and a career that could all ruined if he accepted to do it, so he declined just as harshly too. So yeah, and my mother was dumb enough to believe that if she brought me over THERE and showcased me to him, perhaps he'd change his mind. :\ He didn't and I don't even care, I'm sure he's just as a bastard.

Fast forward 11 years later, she died. From all the fuck ups she did in her life. Collective efforts of stds, car accident injuries, wrong meds, and fucking illegal drugs.

In that short span of years I had had with her, I never were close to her. She managed to raise me til I was five, she got sent to drug rehab and had to submit me and my brother to Grandma, her mother, to live for 4 years or so. I vaguely can recall the time when she came back from rehab, I was fucking terrified of her. I can recall the abuse even then. I hated her. Even when she was home for maybe a few years within that time, she was still abusive. Then that car accident happened. I remember she was in the hospital during my 8th birthday. She was blind as a bat and finally after like 3 car wrecks within that damn period of time (3 years! Minus the rehab period) she got her driver's license suspended for good.

And still as a wild child as she was, she managed to find a loser for a boyfriend and took us from grandma when I was finishing my 5th grade at school suddenly... even bought us toys to keep us entertained. I certainly remember that shit. Only lasted 3 weeks. And a year after that was sheer hell.

She blew so much money on drugs and probably methadone that me and my brother were starving. I imagine it was pretty much the back of her fucking mind about our welfare when she's just out there doing God knows what and to come home to what... to validate the fact she's a mom? I bet she got the apt and the food stamps because she was phishing the fact THEN.

So no, I hated her. I hated her fucking guts and it pains me that my family knows about her fuck ups and yet don't give a fuck about what happened to me and my brother during this time. I imagine they didn't know what happened... or it was out of grandma's hands but DAMN it.

Anyway, after she died finally, we moved back to grandma and I was 11 at the time. She was a terrific grandma for her age. I believe she was in her late 70s but she was pretty active and such for her age. She done a lot for us and I appreciated her a lot. I love my grandma a lot and it took a while for her to gain trust in me (I imagine she'd figure I'd turn out like my mom or my aunt or something). But I guess after she saw that I'm just a homebody, she switched tactics and try to push me out of the house to go out or something. This is like when I was turning 17 or 18 lol. I had no interest in guys in general... o.o' Just video games. LMAO.

Grandma and I still keep in touch today. Bless her heart, she's like a saint compared to the rest of the family members.

I'm just slightly more than a year late replying to Lady Miyomi. Just a year. And a month.

Anyway, dealing with the negativity was quite hard. I became scared to present my marks to my parents. I would either fake them or just not mention the tests since they would conveniently forget. As I grew more scared, my stress levels would increase. My marks steadily decreased from Grade 7 onwards, which was the first year when I wasn't the best in the class.

I considered myself a failure for not being able to meet their expectations. The constant feeling of failure seeped into my thinking. Whenever I got a good mark, it was because of chance. Not because I knew the material well. This was my way of thinking throughout all of high school and most of university. My girlfriend broke me out of it. It took her most of university's second year but she made me compete against my own expectations rather than my parents.

My relationship with parents right now is neutral. It's not worth the physical or emotional effort to argue with them. The only time I'll argue is to defend my younger sister against their way of thinking. After a marks related argument between her and the parents where they went after her head for an hour, she went off muttering "I want to kill myself." I was the only one to take it seriously and try to comfort her.

Hoy, I think the old "the apple didn't fall too far from the tree" is the case here.

So, I am a gamer, like pro-wrestling and into electronics.

My parents played Atari before I was born and as I grew up, stopped, then were introduced to Mario on NES, in which they began to play games again, as much, IF NOT MORE, than me. Heck, what does it say when my mother come home one day with a gamecube after a few hard weeks...for her and my dad?!

My mother and father both enjoy watching pro-wrestling and will talk to me about it. THey started to really watch it around the time my bro and I did, and they have bought more wrestling DVD's and PPVs than me!

If there weren't enough, as I am currently not with my parents, my mom has taken up my trait to make weekly visits to Circuit City to see the newest deals. Now, SHE is the one telling ME about the latest deal she found, or newest technology she bought.

SPeaking of technology, my 'rents saw me get an iPod about two years back. They wondered why...in which my mom one day told me she got a shuffle. Later on, it was a Nano. Now it's a video, with my father and bro getting the pass-me-downs. Whose that walking down walmart listening to his iPod? Yep, my dad!

Personality wise, I am definitely a combination of them. My father's patience, with my mother's stubbornness.

As for my 'rents themselves, well, I can say they have loved me and taken very good care of me. They have worked hard and gone through a lot. They have given up a lot for me and my brother. I hope for myself, of all the above mentioned traits I have gotton from them, the last few I mentioned I will inherit the most.

my relation from my parents is a lot better today than it use to be. Since I've grown up I've grown up a lot more.

As to who I have a bias towards? My dad, definitely. Me and him butt heads sometimes but we act alike when it comes to a lot of things, especially building projects (SON OF A B*TCH!) and whatnot.

I wouldn't say I have an amazing relationship with my parents (or anyone in this family as a matter of fact..), but it isn't horrible. If by close you mean I tell them my feelings and thoughts, no, I am not close with them. I keep my distance from most people, and family just seems to coincide with that.

Surprisingly enough I feel as if I get along better with my father than my mother, and sadly, I think she realizes that too.

I'm sure I've grown away from them over the years, but that's to be expected, considering I'm still young and have "freedom" issues.

I resent them for keeping me locked away. For sheltering me. For pretending everything was fine when there were huge problems. For trying to keep me from making "their mistakes."

I'm sure as I grow up I'll value my family more then I do now, but until then.. this is it.

I gave up trying to keep a relationship (even friendly) with my parents.

After my dad killed himself, I cut the last tie, and I don't see my mom or the rest of my family anymore.

I felt that it wasn't worth it. Not with what was going on in the family anyway.

My relationship with my parents is alright. My mom thinks my animu is the stuff of the devil, but other then that me and her are pretty close I think.

My dad on the other hand likes to remind me constantly that I am worthless. lol. :p

my relationship w/ them is alright i guess. my mom annoys me a lot sometimes and i hardly talk to my dad but when we do it's all good. i've never really had a huge arguement w/ my parents. if i get mad about something i just keep myself away from them and ignore them. unfortunately, my parents are the ones who are always arguing though. thats what i hate about them. Not ONE day goes by they don't argue and what gets to me most is that it's about the same thing every day! i think it's so stupid arguing the same thing for years. sometimes i wish they'd divorce already. i know they're my parents but as a person, i don't think anyone should go through life arguing w/ the same person.

My mom is a ball of paranoia, which causes alot of friction between her with me and my sis. Every little trivia matter is a crisis to her.

My dad and I used to be close when I was really little, now all he does is mock me at the dinner table like some overgrown big brother. He has no idea how to talk to young people.

My relationship to both goes up and down and up and down. Didn't help that I dropped out of college because I have no idea what I want to do and its wasting fees.

Critism and negativity from them stings, and mom knows how to emotinal black mail me. I wish parents will stop treating their kids like pets in a dog show. I'm a human being dammit, I don't get the immediate answer to what I wanna do as soon as I step out of high school!

Parents need to stop expecting perfection and focusing on letting us do what we want and do our very best in it. Raise us to be human, not gods.

Thank you.

A footnote after reading more posts on the thread. Being a parent doesn't mean your tastes and opinions are absolute. I wish more parents are more accepting to what we enjoy. Remember, Picasso was mocked back in the day and now, parents dragged us to artshows to see his stuff. I'm pretty sure video games and anime will be more respected as time goes on.

My dad thinks video games are silly, dumb, waste of time yada yada. Mom lets me play them but isn't fully supportive either. Bah. That's right, tell me your opinion on something you know NOTHING about.

Though funnily enough, they both enjoyed the Wii. My dad LOVED bowling.

Let me quote my mother for you:

"I will let you go to jacon, but I think anime is a sissy fag thing."

"All anime is about hermaphrodites and incest."

I don't know what anime she is watching. D:

You would think with the creation of the internet people will research before making their dumb opinions won't they?

If she thinks they're all hermaphrodites, then let me ask one thing, has she MET any young Asian boys before making that lame assumption? Asian boys have slimmer builds and all. Or did she just assume that anime has this weird thing of making men looking more femine?

Parents =/= Gods who know everything. Stop using the pain you gone through in labor as some metaphor that you created all life and know everything.

Heh.

I think she honestly thinks the country of Japan is just a cesspool of perverted old men who like drawing odd things and making tv shows out of them.

It doesn't bother me much except when she does stuff like throw away the Death Note poster I won. I mean, my mother is a very kind, loving person, but she is a bit stubborn.

Then again I live in a family where my dad gives my girlfriend dirty looks because she is hispanic, and where my grandmother makes comments about my one of my friends stealing something because he is black.

...Oh god I don't even wanna go there... Why can't people get with the times and stop being racist?!

I wouldn't say my mom is racist so much, but yeah, I know. :(

Oh come on, there's plenty of fat Asian guys out there.

I meant muscles Racin. :P

Well, I dont particularly like my relationship with them.

I never really had a dad in my life [since my parents divorced when I was a baby], and since then I've hardly seen him. He did try to get to know me during 2003, and he was telling my mom that he wanted to have a relationship with me. He sent me cards, called me every week, and I called him. It was really awesome to finally get to know him and what not. I finally visited him in spring of 2004, and when I did, it felt...cold. It didn't feel very much like family, but rather "Oh hello. Mister, i'm just a random kid". We went to NYC together, but it was just weird. After the trip, the phone calls became less and less. The letters stopped coming, and when I invited him to my High School graduation, he didn't come, but rather went on vacation with his other family [in the same city I lived in]. So...after that we stopped talking. I havent heard from him in 3 years.



My relationship with my Mom and I is wearing thin. We don't get along that much, and I feel like i'm being constantly put down by her, and always disappointing her, even when I try to be good and do the right thing. For instance, I could be home one day when she's working, and vacuum the house, clean the dishes and put them away, do my laundry and clean my room. But when she comes home, she'll point out one little thing that I missed or something she wanted done, and all that work I did is null and void because of it. When we argue, I might as well be arguing with a silly 14yrd online. She will not listen to what I have to say, and she will continue to not listen and overpower me with her voice. That will frustrate me, so in turn I start to raise my voice, and then she walks away, telling me I raised my voice first. She belittles my job, telling me I don't do shit there and I make puny hours, so therefore it's not a real job then. She'll never give me an ounce of encouragement or kindness, but rather gives me her grief, guilt and despair. It's wearing me out, and I really want to get out of this house. Unforunately, I have no way of doing that since, I don't make enough money to do that, and I don't have a car. Oh yes, and she tells me satan has a grip on me when I think differently about religion or when we have a heated argument, and the irony is...we have these arugments when she's watching her daily christian shows [Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Joel Olsteen]. She gets very angry during these shows, and I suffer because of it.

Overall, I dont think I have a good relationship with them. I don't like either of them. It saddens me, and it makes me wish I had a normal family with a Mom, Dad and Brother/Sister who are always there to talk with, and feel loved by all of them, and love them all back. You know, the perfect nuclear family. But I guess that's all a fantasy from TV, books and movies. I wish I had it though.

a little bit about mine
 

I have a problem with my parents. My Dad works 7 days a week so I don't see him much. The only time I do is when he fetches me to camp on Sunday nights. Sometimes he comes back from work early and we get to eat dinner together.

When I talk with Mom, I feel that she seldom really listens. I get the impression that she doesn't really care about me. Sure, she gives me regular text messages and tries to talk to me after work but I only get the feeling that she's doing it because she's obliged to do so. Normally when we talk after she comes back from work, both of us are tired and we end up quarreling. Even when we go out on her off day she can't seem to understand what I'm talking about. Just the other day we went out to a Yamaha showroom to look at Digital Pianos. I showed her a particular piece which I had been considering buying for about a month and told her that I need the Digital Keyboard because I have to practise piano from Monday to Friday (when I'm not home) and that the old piano I have at home is terribly out of tune and rather beyond repair. I told her that I was going to pay for it with my own money but she gave a myriad of reasons as to why I should not buy it, all of which I found really unreasonably and grossly unfair to me.

Somehow I just don't feel that either of us can get along.

I kinda suffer from some sort of Marks-presenting phobia too.

I'm usually an excellent student, at least when I was much younger, so my parents had high expectations of me all this while, so whenever I get things along the 50s-70s for a subject where 80% failed (aka below 50), I still get freaking scared.

My mom is the main cause of this. She's prone to bursts of rage that leads me in being grounded and barred from using the computer (btw, which is in the hall). Kinda miserable, eh? I don't have a com in my room, but I guess that's a petty thing to get pissed over.

It's just the burst of rages over petty issues, that my mom does that gets me quite riled up. So I'm really hoping to get my own home someday and move out of this temperamental household.

I get along with my parents well enough, I guess. No huge blow-ups every other day like some people I know, but we're not exactly a family that gets along all that well either. We're... "alright", I guess.

My dad's quite prone to raising his voice over petty things, which is the biggest problem I have with him. Thing is, the more I tell myself I dislike the way he acts, the more I realize that I have more things in common with him than I'd like to admit. Particularly, being slightly short-tempered as well as raising our voices far too often over trivial stuff. His fondess of using the horn while driving really irritates me though, for reasons I'm not too sure of.

I've never really had serious, heart-to-heart conversations with either of them, and I probably won't do so anytime soon.

I must say that at the moment I hate my parents. I have not always hated my parents but lately things have changed. When I was young I followed their guidence and now that I have traveled the world I see them in a different light. I see them as people who follow what they have been taught and fail to question the reasons why they live. I see them as scared of change and unwilling to except the different types of life
styles.
The reasons why I hate my parents are that while I was off traveling in europe they decieded to move to another city far far away from my present home. This is by the way my last year of high school. A year I would rather spend with people I have known for the past 5 years. When I was still on my travels it was told to me that I would have a week to find a place to live once I returned. I desperately tried to find living arangments, but there is only so much you can do with e-mail. I returned and still having no place to stay started looking for a home. Also when I returned home I found my stuff boxed up in the basement with many things missing and my room being lived in by my brother. With only one week left to find a place I searched but no one can give the ok to live with them in a week. Everyone needs forever. I am out of time, I am tired, I am homeless, I hate my parents.

This thread is kinda depressing... Human's aren't perfect, but can't they at least try to prepare themselves before having a kid, and do their best to care for them when you have them?

If you want some mini me clone to do your bidding the way you want it, tough luck. If you expect your kid to move out in a week without an advance notice, that you're a moron who doesn't know how the world works, or you're simpley heartless.

Did any of these parents from the above posts even think TWICE before having a kid? Marriage is a big step, but at least its 2 people who should know how to care for themselves indepently. Having a kid means a human being thats gonna depend on you completly for 18 years. Its a huge commitment and responsibility that you can't easily get out of and be forgiven.

Why is parenthood getting more fucked up by the minute?

Yeah, we really should go back to a time where kids were lashed with the cane for speaking out of turn at the dinner table.

Well the physical violence has been toned down from the past, but it seems like the sane mentality of parents is spiraling downward to me from all these stories... I mean it kinda scares alot of people from having kids of their own cause of their parents or other parents. It makes me wonder if I would change if I decided to have kids...

Imagine for a moment that the world you live in has been changing faster than you have been able to keep up with; you're middle-aged now, and it's been progressing at this pace since you were almost an infant.

You have children, who are in high school/ready for college.

For most of their lives you've been bewildered by the pace at which their world changes, which is exponential compared to what you grew up with. When you were in school, you weren't worried about gun-violence, over-populated school districts or many of the changing social pressures of today.

How well do you think you'd be able to relate to your children?

I had fantastic parents, but my reason for not wanting kids is because I hate them. I imagine the reason a lot of people aren't having kids nowadays is because they find a career much more rewarding than dealing with a bunch of snotty brats that clean up after themselves less than a stray cat.

Which I agree, but then again, were'nt we all the same when we were 2 years old?

I really honestly don't want kids, though its not really because of a career, but I don't wanna clean up after them, and then have to deal with teenage emotions, then have to deal with a college fund.

But trouble is, kids, and us when WERE kids, are going to be selfish, ignorant, lazy and probably stupid too. There's no method or medicine that automatically makes the kids be bit more responsible and cosiderate. Hell some people grow up and are still never considerate of others.

I won't deal with kids myself, but I wonder how the rest of the future parents will deal with them? Think any of them are fully prepared or are all parents doom to screw themselves cause reality is different from their visions?

Instead of slapping though, I suggest a hit on the head. Hurts just as much, teaches them a lesson, and no real obvious red mark to people who are oversensitive to "child abuse". I'm against using object like caning though, thats a bit too overkill and barbaric, unless the kid just won't quit it.

i want to have a kid or two ^^ not anytime soon of course but yes, i'd like to make my own family. I'm sure it's going to take a lot of energy to raise them up well but i have a feeling it'll be ok and what mom doesn't love their child? :) ok so there's a few moms out there who don't care but i'm positive i will love them.