Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis

Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis (http://www.gamingforce.org/forums/index.php)
-   Pang's Violence Basement (http://www.gamingforce.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=13)
-   -   [DnD] D&D Arena: The Tale of the Piano Duo, Ebony and Ivory (http://www.gamingforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=40398)

Sarag Sep 5, 2010 06:47 PM

FUCK DIS

Fire breathin' centered on C6. That'll hit the cube and not either of us, right? And the chariot, it'll hit that. Alas, poor chariot. I knew him well.

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 6, 2010 06:23 AM

Getting bored of being swallowed now, the old man put extra effort into getting away.

Escape NE, if successful, Action point and shift away in the same direction

Zergrinch Sep 6, 2010 06:29 AM

The old werewolf tries to struggle mightily to escape the blob's grab, and succeeds while his companion breathes fire on the monster.

11 acid damage to both Ivory and Ebony. Ivory bloodied.
42 damage to Massive Gelatinous Cube. 4 HP left, wrap it up.


The blast from within is doubly effective; the cube starts to shake violently, as if it's almost on the verge of disincorporation. Mindlessly wobbling towards the cleric/paladin while keeping an iron grip on the kobold, the cube spasms uncontrollably, sending chunks of itself flying in the air.

Tired from his exertion, Ivory could only watch as a massive glob of protoplasm smacks into him. A second hit sends the shifter into a strangely serene gout of unconsciousness.

Slam against Ivory: 9 damage. Immobilized.
Action Point. Slam against Ivory: 11 damage. Prone, dying.



:savepoint: Ivory (7 tokens)*, Ebony (5), Massive Gelatinous Cube

* If you roll your death saving throw, that counts as a complete turn that earns tokens.

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 6, 2010 08:24 AM

Ivory lay back in the blob, trying not to die.

He did it pretty well.

Zergrinch Sep 6, 2010 08:41 AM

Critical throw! Ivory did his "not dying" act so well, he could spend a healing surge and regain consciousness. That is, if he wanted to... since he doesn't have many of them left. Who'd want to regain consciousness when they're bloodied, prone, and immobilized? Maybe it's better to just lie down, relax, and let oblivion overtake the pain.

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 6, 2010 12:06 PM

Content to just be not dead, the old man lay quietly where he was, trusting in the blob's natural urge to hunt down moving things to keep him safe long enough for his partner to finish the thing off.

Sarag Sep 6, 2010 12:08 PM

What's going on? I can't see, I have goop in my eyes.

Fire breath centered on D10

Zergrinch Sep 6, 2010 05:37 PM

The kobold endures one last acid attack, and then unleashes his super-effective fire breath. Ebony finds himself freed from the gelatinous menace's clutches, as it disintegrates into a pile of harmless warm pudding. A veritable treasure trove of undigested substances clatters on to the ground, possibly the property of the poor unfortunate skull that's among them.

11 damage to Ebony, bloodied.

Victory!

Ebony ministers to his fallen friend before turning his attention to their wooden chariot - it's cracked and singed in a few places, but nothing a few thumps in the right place wouldn't fix.

Sarag Sep 6, 2010 07:28 PM

I deliver a swift kick in Ivory's shin to wake him, then I go poke at what was in the cube. Maybe there's something in there that we can use to fix the chariot?

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 7, 2010 05:06 AM

The old man picked himself up, feeling rather groggy. He began sifting through the junk on the floor to see what the blob had eaten lately.

Spend a surge, search for lootz

Zergrinch Sep 7, 2010 06:53 AM

Shin, you have unused Healing Words after the encounter. I'll assume you used one to heal yourself this time.
Ivory heals 21 HP.


The pair enthusiastically sift through gelatinous entrails, hoping to find something of value. Everything organic is either entirely digested (like the fellow's innards), or in a severely brittle state - the skull crumbles to dust the moment the now-conscious shifter picked it up.

Ebony did manage to sort through the goopy residue, finding 70 gold coins scattered around the remains of the cube. He also finds a corroded longsword, an almost-digested leather belt pouch, and a strangely-intact pair of normal-sized boots too big for him to wear .

After a few moments of banging on their chariot, it looks none the worse for wear. Still, it's probably not a good idea to breathe fire in its vicinity anytime soon.

Do whatever you want. Next encounter coming after your posts.

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 7, 2010 03:01 PM

The old man tugged on the boots, just in case he fell off any more roofs. Other than that, there seemed little else to do but head on. He looked inside the ruined pouch just in case it hid any valuables, tossed the sword onto the cart and mounted up, nudging the wolf towards the middle of a big open area. Upon reaching a point where he could see at least a hundred yards in any direction, he pulled up and drew his crossbow, intent on sitting still and watching out for any further pursuers. He was buggered if he was going to start yet another fight in hand to hand combat range.

Chuck everything in the cart, wear boots, move a short distance to somewhere with clear fields of fire, sit tight so as not to step on anymore invisible monsters

Zergrinch Sep 13, 2010 08:12 AM

Ivory tosses all and sundry into his chariot, including a completely worthless half-digested pouch and a mundane rusty sword, adding seventy slightly-corroded gold pieces to their collective wealth. Ebony, for his part, decides to take an extended rest, only to be roused by his partner and forcibly dragged to the chariot.

Resolving never to be surprised by an enemy in melee range, Ivory steers the wolf out of the forest into a large wide expanse. The field is devoid of any cover, and there is the real risk of capture considering the bounty on the pair. Still, the cleric/paladin reasons that he would rather tackle threats head-on, rather than get ambushed again.

And so, while Ebony twiddles his thumbs, the shifter takes out his crossbow and waits for an enemy to show.

And he waits.

And waits some more.

His patience is finally rewarded when he hears a faint *clop clop* of hooves. The source of the noise is revealed moments later as he makes out four horses, mounted by humans, speeding towards them. The lead horse rears to a stop, as its armored rider catches sight of the gigantic wolf.

Any question about the horsemen's intent was answered moments as the armored horseman brings a horn to his mouth and lets out a piercingly loud blast.

http://upload.jetsam.org/images/human-veteran.png IT'S THEM! SEND OUT THE HOUNDS!!!!

His leather-clad companions shouted excitedly as they draw their longbows, and prepare to spur their horses towards our beleaguered duo.

Being crazy prepared, Ivory gets to act in a surprise round (take a standard, move, or minor action; can't spend action points).

:savepoint: Ivory (surprise; 8 tokens), Bowmen (22), Ivory (22), Veteran (20), Ebony (12; 6 tokens)

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 13, 2010 01:13 PM

Relishing the prospect of a bit of mounted combat, the Shifter spurred his wolf off across the field, hoping to keep just one of his pursuers in range at a time.

Full speed NE!

Zergrinch Sep 13, 2010 06:17 PM

The shifter guns his massive wolf into action, in an attempt to outdistance their pursuers. However, while the wolf is naturally stronger, he's also carrying more weight and is marginally slower than the warhorses their pursuers are riding.

Speed notes:
Dire Wolf 9+1 (item) = 10/2 (encumbrance; chariot) = 5 + 2 (if running) = 7.
Warhorse: 8.
Hounds: 8.


The longbowmen give chase, and rain a fusillade of arrows down on the wagon. One of the arrows hits the kobold.

6 damage to Ebony

:savepoint: Ivory (9 tokens - 10 max), Veteran , Ebony (6 tokens), Bowmen

Defenses:
Veteran: AC 22, Fort 19, Ref 18, Will 17
Bowmen: AC 19, Fort 17, Ref 17, Will 15 (+2 all defenses if another bowman is within 5)

Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss Sep 14, 2010 03:31 AM

Handing the reins to his buddy, the shifter moved to the back of the wagon and drew a bead on the nearest pursuer. He had been energised by all this fighting and frankly was feeling pretty lucky today.

The movement of the chariot was upsetting his aim a little and the first one was just a ranging shot to be fair. :(

Expend requisite tokens for a roll on the wheel of fortune. Move to -M29. Shoot crossbow at northmost bowman (A is it?)

Zergrinch Sep 14, 2010 07:12 AM

Please note that the wolf acts on the same initiative order as Ivory, so Ebony can't move him on his own turn.

The shifter fires back a crossbow bolt of his own. But at this range? Impossible for someone as nearsighted as the old codger.

Gunning his horse into a mad dash towards the chariot, the veteran gets within 65 feet of our intrepid duo. Still too far for his longsword, so the armored human stows his weapon. He'll draw out those throwing knives and catch these fugitives, yes he will. Even if they have to come back with him in pieces.


:savepoint: Ebony (6 tokens), Bowmen, Ivory (1 token), Veteran

Sarag Sep 14, 2010 06:46 PM

"Why are there more guys? WHY ARE THERE MORE GUYS?!"

Since I can't move the wolf myself, delay action until bowmen. If any of them get into range, Hunter's Quarry on that guy then Throw and Stab him. Don't leave the chariot.

If none of them can get into range yet, then I dunno, don't do anything?

Zergrinch Sep 15, 2010 07:15 AM

Ebony hesitates long enough after Ivory hands him the reins for the bowmen to catch up.

The first two fire painful arrows at the chariot, one of which embeds itself deep inside the shifter's shoulder. The third forces his horse into a gallop in an attempt to head off the fugitives. He moves in close enough to realize what the little kobold is truly capable of.

http://upload.jetsam.org/images/human-bowman-lackey.png
The kobold's a Marauder Ranger! Listen, we don't want to get too close to him. Stay at least 40 feet away, where he can't charge you easily. Let's whittle them down from longbow range first!

Ivory takes 6 damage. He's already bloodied prior to the fight.

:savepoint: Ebony (6 tokens; delaying don't count), Ivory (1 token), Veteran, Bowmen

Zergrinch Sep 21, 2010 06:21 PM

Ebony makes a motion to gun the wolf as far as he possibly can. But a quick glance northeast put pat to the preposterous notion that the pair could possibly escape from the battle. For coming in the opposite direction of their pursuers were three more human bowmen, along with a swarm of hounds.

The kobold tightened the reins, motioning for the wolf to slow down.
---


http://upload.jetsam.org/images/human-veteran.png You've certainly led us on a merry chase. But at least the extent of your crimes will be mitigated by your wise decision to surrender. Now, as customary, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you...

As the Veteran launches on his monologue, the kobold casts a fleeting glance at his bleeding partner. They haven't known each other for very long, and Bordrei knows that the ranger has given the paladin-cleric extra gray hairs thanks to his antics.

The old geezer would never survive the resulting trial and incarceration. That, Ebony knows for sure. It was different for young niggas like him - he'd be drafted to fight to the death in arena battles as a gladiator, and might even one day earn his freedom again. But Ivory? He'd be so lucky as to last a few hours in the 'hood.

No. Ebony knew what had to be done. What he was about to do could result in his death, but the ranger figures he'd be kept alive by the powers that be. He'll just have to make sure that he doesn't kill any of these humans.

Ebony briefly catches the cleric's eye, and winks before turning away, the scent of acid-laced whiskey evident on his breath. The kobold suddenly launches his handaxe at the wolf's backside, resulting in RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWGGHH bellowing out its name and launching into a pain-fueled gallop. Ebony completes his signature move by launching himself off the chariot, short sword pointed right smack into the startled veteran's face.

http://upload.jetsam.org/images//shin.png No! Ebony!!! Stop!

The cleric tries to steer the wolf back towards his partner, but the pain drove it non-responsive. He barely had enough time to launch a divine shield that blasted several archers into unconsciousness.

http://upload.jetsam.org/images//alurker.png Old geezer! Give my regards to Trish!

A tear streams down the shifter's face as his bold partner unleashes an acid blast on the cluster of enemies. The cleric's Shield of the Gods seems to be holding, but the kobold would be no match for an angry veteran, a few surviving archers, and a pack of hounds.

Ivory pauses momentarily, wrung by a desire to aid the kobold by leaping off the wagon, but equally mindful of wasting his friend's heroic sacrifice. By the time he's thought of something to say, it was too late. Ebony was out of sight and out of shouting distance.

http://upload.jetsam.org/images//shin.png Ebony. Thank you... Thank you my friend. I'll never forget you. Until we meet again, stay safe.


The End
of the Tale of
:savepoint: IVORy & EBONy :savepoint:


Epilogue

(to be optionally written at the discretion of Shin and lurker)


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.