Eddie Murphy had a really good stand-up routine he toured with in like '87 concerning this topic.

Women use the "I don't really want it" attitude as a tool to get what they want from their male counterparts. Withholding sex works, with most guys, for whatever reason. I think it's a stupid game, but pretty much all women do it, whether they admit it or not. Yeah, now I can see the backlash already. "OMG DUO YOU CHAUVANIST PIG" "THAT'S SO NOT TRUE, DUMBASS" What? You think all men were born yesterday?

Oh Duo, don't you know - women are always right!

Not that I don't agree with that, but do you really need to demand that the dude cheat on her today? That's the really creepy part.

Double Post:
Okay, so what if the woman wants good sex?

I wasn't aware I had suggested that he do it today... or even with any kind of immediacy. Just that he should.

And the jury's out on whether or not it would be considered "cheating".

Even if the sex is good, they still use it as a tool.

Thanks lurker, you really do seen to know where Angel and I are getting at.... the fact is that he believes that love, respect, and understanding is the most important part of a relationship, he REALLY is that kind of guy! I KNOW that he would never go out for a one night stand even though it is something I would not blame him for, because my situation is really hard to deal with...

besides, we do far more than just wait for my sex drive to boot up, we snuggle on couch to watch DVDs and play PS2, go out together, and spend a lot of time talking and having fun.

So BurningRanger, we are happy with things the way they are, so telling Angel so go out and get some is not going to accomplish anything because he is your opposite as far as the topic is concerned, not all men get a girlfriend just for sex.

Wow, it is interesting to know that they are still relationships that are not basted solely on sex...or maybe i just live in a sex-driven area. I mean, when it comes down to it, if both people are happy with or without sex that is all that really matters in the relationship and the fact that Angel is not the kinda arrogant asshole to just go get laid to make up for his girlfriend not wanting to have intercourse is a sign of respect and love. I guess for some it is kind of unheard of, a sexless relationship *GASP* but yes folks, it is out there...

Sometimes i worry that i will forget that there are actually people like yourself and Angel out there :annoyed:

No, you're not getting me. If a woman withholds sex in order to get what she wants, and she wants good sex, what does she do?

Double Post:
If you're incapable of understanding how you come across, maybe you should stop communicating entirely.

I wonder how 'stuck-up' even factors into anything. Words mean things, people!

That's not my point. No, not all men get a girlfriend just for sex. However, and this is a fact, there is not a single situation in which would be asked of someone he already enjoys the company of, "Would you like this person better if you could have sex with her?" and he would say no.

It's like asking, "If you had the same exact boyfriend, only slightly more attractive, would you like him more?" YES I KNOW your knee jerk reaction is going to make you say "Looks don't matter to me." And it's true, to the majority of people who aren't asshats, looks aren't important. But that doesn't change the fact that even the most non-asshattic person in the world would still like the person they're with 1% more if they were 1% more attractive.

Same situation with sex. No matter how much he says he's willing to wait for you, and sex isn't important to him, etc etc etc, he's not going to push you off of him if you jump on top of him screaming dirty phrases. He's going to be very happy.

NOTE: I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO GO AND DO THAT IMMEDIATELY. I speak hypothetically, nothing more.

Now, upon you saying that you would be okay with him getting his fix from other women, which is a foul and egregious lie, I can no longer stay quiet about this. Whatever the veracity, saying what you said means you're making a few terrible assumptions.

If it's true,

A) You assume that your loving, sophisticated boyfriend, who is willing to wait for you, would ever want to have sex with someone without emotional attachment. (As you said, the condition of your acceptance was that it there be "no love.")

B) You also assume that sex is a purely physical pleasure. Which as others in this thread have agreed, it is not.

C) You assume, probably, that it would be a one time thing. If it became a consistent thing then you most certainly would not stand for it. Who knows, after the years of celibacy, maybe he'd become addicted to it and run off with the girl. Chances are equally good he wouldn't, but he might.

If it's not true, and this really grinds my gears,

D) You assume that you have such a monopoly over him that he would never, ever take you up on the offer, giving you the freedom to say things like that to curry favor and look like the understanding, mellow girlfriend, without the fear of a bullshit call. Which is an insult. To him and to mankind.

In fact, your last post pretty much described D to the tee.

By the way:

I believe you were the one who encouraged him to do so first.

Double Post:
At no point during the post you quoted did I specify a timeframe. Only that he should.

It is arrogant of her to say she condones adultery (in essence, I understand that they are not married) purely on the grounds that she knows he won't do it.

You are oddly preoccupied with their sex life.

Indeed.

As long as you're both happy, I don't see what the problem is. If you're with a guy who will put up with that, he must have at least a somewhat low sex drive, so it sounds like a good match.

However, he did say several times in this thread that he wishes things were different. The bottom line is, sometimes we have to sacrifice our wants and desires for the sake of pleasing the one we love. It seems to me that Angel is doing all the sacrificing here. Would it kill you to throw him a bone every once in a while? Or at least get some professional help about your problem?

The argument being that you don't think it's right that she HURGHBLURGHBLOO

Do you have any peer-reviewed sources to back up your argument?

Double Post:
You show her who's the man in this relationship you fucking e-creep.

My god, what's the world coming to when I can actually agree with alice on something. :(

It can only mean one thing: You are becoming awesome.

Probably finds it elsewhere.

I don't see what your point is. I said, "Women will withhold intimacy in a relationship to get what they want." Then, you basically say, "Yes we do, we like good sex, too." I think pretty much everyone likes good sex. What's your point?

You want a joke to have a point?

OKay, you're dumb and you need to pluck your nosehair.

QFT.

I'm glad someone finally said it in a condensed manner.

And regardless of the reasons for your low sex drive, what you're doing to Angel (even though he says he's happy with the extremely small amount of sex he gets) is just not right, Chibi Neko. I know you guys have a good time together and all of that, but seriously, take Alice's advice and get some help or at least make some sacrifices yourself.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one who laughed at the word choice.

Please.

Also, I don't think Rangerboy is being creepy. He's encouraging Angel to test Neko's words, which isn't a smart plan on Angel's part, but will definitely prove Ranger's point when she freaks out and hates him for it.

And anyone who has any variation of "cat" in their handle should be required to put out anyway, simply for the association with the word "pussy."

you know, I don't get it. Someone writes a missive and refers to it as "the argument" which he's basically having with himself, and calls a broad with admitted personal problems a "stuck up bitch" a couple of times, and I'm the only one seeing that as creepy?

Doesn't he strike anyone else as entirely too involved in these folks' relationship? I mean hell, I don't think anyone else's posts are creepy sounding.

He's just been writing all of those posts since you keep on responding to him.



I think you're alone on this one lurker. :(

Totally banned from my LJ now.