What does watching Monster have to do with this subject?

And guess who's the first one they suspect? You see, as much as I'd like to turn loose some of my friends and family on him to "teach him a lesson", I'm the first person that will be suspected and probably jailed.

I do understand what you mean by this, but really, think about what you said later on in this post. it's all in the upbringing. children grow up to be adults and if they were mentally abused as a child, they're not going to turn out as very mentally strong adults. if you were taught from the time you were a baby that you're a piece of shit and don't deserve to be treated well, then where the hell do you expect them to learn how to stand up for themselves?

what your parents teach you goes a long way, especially if they're incredibly persistent as I assume most abusers are. how else would they keep you under their thumb other than constant reminders of what your "place" is?

I do agree that people who were otherwise free of abuse during their upbringing ending up in an abusive relationship and doing nothing about it is something they'd "need to grow a pair of balls" about. they have it within their mental capacity to understand that the situation they're in is avoidable, where as someone who had lived with that their entire life won't know the difference.

people like that I can understand you having no sympathy for, but there are a lot of people out there who have suffered the abuse since they were incredibly young and unfortunately weren't as lucky as you were to learn how to stand up and defend themselves and probably didn't have someone to stand up for them either. some people just don't have any fighting spirit left in them after someone's beaten it out them repeatedly whether through psychological conditioning or physical beatings. =/

It's not like these people who have long been abused are oblivious to the situations of other non-abused people. Sure they haven't experienced such life first hand, but they see and hear things that I can only presume that they would see as a better way of life. They know damn well the difference (at least in theory) between an abusive relationship and a non-abusive one.

I do have sympathy for people in abusive relationships. I just don't think that sympathy alone does anything to help, and may even encourage them to remain in a bad situation.

How do you define an abusive relationship? Do you put physical abuse higher on the scale than mental abuse?

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? What advice would you give to others?

Or maybe you hate the very notion and think 'dem bitches DESERVE what they get.

Let's tawk.



Hmm... abusive relationship is when one of the two is being overly submissive and the other is overly dominating. Hmm... mental abuse? Well... I definitely do understand when one's being coerced into doing such things that could define this mental abuse. Its rare to SEE unless if you're living under that same roof to notice. So yeah physical abuse is obvious compared to mental abuse. But in the same turn, if abusee feels the pain, then where does the mental abusee vent? At the end, it can turn out murderous. Kinda like a son who wants to suffocate his own mother for forcing him to having to take care of her for years as his social life suffered... and her vocal abuse could make it worse. Psycho anyone? xD

Then again, mental abuse is just not as recognized as it should like physical abuse we all come to recognize today thanks to the media.

Thankfully I had never been in a PHYSICAL abusive relationship but I definitely had my share of mental ones. :\ Just two words... GET OUT. Just get the fuck out of there. Its NO time to be unselfish, you have a LIFE, and you ON YOUR OWN can make that choice, and definitely believe me here, you will live a good life by making that choice.

You know when you're in a mental abusive relationship when you're thinking constantly of how to make that person suffer and listen to you finally. You dream of role reversal too often.

Living with a drunk aunt sure does taught me a LOT of what a mental abusive relationship is. Its even more complicated when you have a submissive grandma and a dominating uncle (her brother). Today, I'm just SO glad, even constantly that I'm out of that horrible relationship today. I just don't look back, and be happy as I am. And because of it, I have everything I wanted currently. If not best, I still am doing great because of my leaving there finally. Its the BEST fresh air I could ever describe of having.

And also, don't let your abuser try to separate you from your family and friends. That's the only way they can get total control of you. My ex did this to me once. Thank goodness my family fought to keep in touch with me.