"Indestructible Staff" my :deadhorse:. The Universe has always conspired to keep me in the poorhouse - the seeming appearance of such free wealth is certainly illusory, if not a trap.

I shoot a couple of arrows into the wood, fully expecting it to splinter in half. I also study all six sides of the room, looking out for traps, both mundane and supernatural, of any kind.

The arrows splinter harmlessly against the staff, the arrowheads failing to gain the slightest purchase. Evidently it's quite sturdy after all.

Glowering about the room suspiciously, Cal spots a pair of poorly-concealed holes in the wall next to the western doorway — just about the right size for a spearhead to come lunging out at an inconvenient moment.

"I have a goblin," Puyet says straddling the quirky man in the doorway, glancing at the staff upon the pedestal. His goblin did not seem to appreciate the comment, and was on its last nerve, so he gave it a good pat on the head and encouraged it that he was kidding.

He abandoned the thought of the hole behind the throne. It was much too much trouble for any of them to scale down it into a sewer, where Dwarves dwelt. Strange pairing, he thought. Putting aside all naughty jokes about feces, he handed over the goblin to Cal and meandered through the room to explore it, taking care not to align himself between any two spearslots. He cruised toward door on the adjacent wall, as a staircase leading down did not entice him one bit. Puyet yelled back to Cal to inquire the shopkeep as to the purpose of the room.

Glenn was cooking up his own idea for getting the staff out of the room, but the rest of the group would need to decide which direction they wanted to go, as Glenn doubted that the "avalanche" powers of the staff would wait until called upon to unleash themselves. The small piece of wood looked to be the only thing holding the ceiling up.

Glenn also considers asking the merchant where he got the food and supplies for his shop, but then decided that the goblin wouldn't be likely to tell anyone if he knew anyway. Perhaps one of the others could talk it out of him.

Making sure not to step on any hidden pressure pads or anything that remotely looks like a trap door, I shuffle my way beside a spear slot. With thieves' tools in hand, I try to disable the trap.

Thievery: 14 + 8 + 2 = 24.

Cal successfully disables the trap!

:shrug:

Well, that was anticlimactic. Who knew the trap was so simple that it doesn't count towards adventuring experience?

The half-orc wishes to head west, while the rest of my team is apparently conflicted on whether to follow him or go deeper into the dungeon. I'm inclined to go west myself, not wishing to go deeper underground than I have to. But, perhaps the cleric can shed some holy insight on things. He's been very quiet as of late.

My cartographic skill tells me that westwards most likely connects to the first room - where there is a north door we have not tried yet. We can go there next, probably.
I remember hearing some noise while listening at the other side of the unexplored room, and caution the warlord to proceed with care.

______________

I am very tempted to take the staff, but the rogue has a valid concern. "Avalanche" in this case may simply turn out to be the roof caving in on our heads, should we remove the staff. I wonder if Gary, perched suitably on my shoulders, might be able to reach it. Oh, if only I have some rope, so we can quickly yank away the staff while in the relative safety of the next room!

Puyet considers giving the repelling rope to Cal, but then considers they may need to reenter this room at another given time, and discourages him from potentially collapsing the entire thing.

He also decides that investigating the rest of this level is best and tries to convince the rest of the group that going down should be reserved till they've exhausted all efforts to go up.

I nod at the warlord's sage words. He must have surely felt the whiff of evil emanating from the staircase.

Yes, evil staircase, I'm wise to your tricks!

Staircase is my quarry. Twin strike @ Evil Staircase

Cal fires a volley down the suspicious stairs, certainly that something sinister must be lurking. Maybe the gnomes were approaching. Maybe a terrible shadow demon lurked in the darkness. Maybe... maybe...

Gorillas out of fucking nowhere!

Four angry apes lunge out of the stairwell. The largest among them, a silver-furred hulk, sports two fresh arrows jutting out of his shoulder. He seems kind of upset about it. His ape underlings charge out to attack the party. Puyet catches the worst of it as a meaty gorilla fist smashes right into his pretty face, but Glenn gets the wind knocked out of him when an ape rushes over to try to collapse his ribs. Truly, nonstop monkey mayhem is afoot.

Felling Blow: 15 damage to Puyet
Felling Blow: 10 damage to Glenn
Felling Blow: 2 attacks, +9 vs AC

Enemy defenses:
Silverback Gorilla: AC 17, Fortitude 19, Reflex 15, Will 17
Great Ape: AC 18, Fortitude 18, Reflex 16, Will 16

:savepoint: Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5, Cal 28, Great Apes 23

Glenn really should have been more ready for something like this to happen. He makes a mental note that the changeling's default reaction to something he doesn't understand is to shoot it with arrows, and so Glenn resolves to avoid using big words in his presence. Becoming an impromtpu pincushion wasn't something that appealed to the quiet Eladrin.

Glenn notices the fighter's attempts to give him a little more room to maneuver, and gives a nod of thanks. As it was, the ape was distracted, and that was all Glenn needed.

Clever Strike vs. green ape
4 + 15 + 2(CA) = 19 hit!
7 + 4 + 9 = 20 damage

Kylie. Kylie!
Run to O-14
Bastion of Health on Puyet

Puyet had the sudden urge to do the Conga. So he did...very angrily.

After spanking the first monkey, Puyet glares diligently at the other.

"How do you like those bananas?"

Lead the Attack to I12
Hit w/ FURIOUS ASSAULT 32 dmg suck it you baboon.
Inspiring word to self. Spend one surge. Regain 18 life.
Intimidate other monkey.

Garrmondo snaps to attention as the gorilla guerrillas charge into the fray, but when you're wearing 50 pounds of iron snapping to attention is more like "sluggishly rotating to attention." The apes of wrath pay little attention to his fancy footwork. Still, the sheer noise he made moving around was enough to prove a distraction; Glenn's blade gets to thoroughly explore some greasy grimy gorilla guts.

Lost in thought, Gheth hurries into the fray after overhearing the ruckus from a few rooms away. He makes the universal signal for "you've got something on your face," directing Puyet to wipe away a tuft of knuckle fur that had stuck to his nose. Thanks to this helpful depilation, Puyet regains his essential dignity. And dignity, of course, is crucial for hitting people with hammers.

Red ape bloodied, Yellow ape intimidated
You just barely succeeded at the intimidate, so keep your request fairly simple. He won't surrender until he's bloodied, though.

With a furious snarl, the silverback picks up Puyet like a rag doll and hurls him away. Unfortunately, the space between here and "away" is occupied by Cal, who barely maintains his footing as a flying warlord barrels over him. Puyet smashes into the floor at speed with a sickening crunch.

Fling: 39 damage to Puyet, thrown to M12. Bloodied and prone.
Midair collision with Cal: 7 damage to each.
Fling: +6 vs Reflex
Somehow the yellow ape still finds him intimidating. MY VERISIMILITUDE
Oh, and G-Unit gets +2 to attack rolls until Puyet's next turn.

:savepoint: Cal 28, Great Apes 23, Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5

Our erstwhile warlord leader is thrown about like he was made of paper. I shudder to think what the oversized ape will do to my delicate constitution if he gets his hairy hands on me.

The throw distracts me sufficiently that my attack loses most of its sting. Thanking the gods that I voided my bowels earlier, I shakily retreated by a smidgen, planting myself unsteadily on top of the fallen warlord.

Careful Attack: 13 + 5 + 1 = 19 > 18 AC of Red Ape. Hit for [ 2 + 7 ] = 9 HP damage.
Move to M12.
If Red Ape still alive, activate Spitting Cobra Stance.

Nobly risking his own hide by standing protectively over Puyet's prone form, Cal tries to finish off the most badly wounded of the apes. Against all hope and expectation, it continues to Not Die. Determined to keep his new ally at least somewhat safe, Cal readies an arrow for the next gorilla to approach him.

Despite the leader of the troupe so thoroughly trouncing Puyet, the gorilla he glowered at remains temporarily skittish and hides behind the silverback until it gets its nerve back. The more heavily-battered of the trio charges forward, though, realizing its taken too many wounds to survive regardless of the battle's ultimate end. Cal fires off his readied shot, and the ape sprawls into a motionless heap at his feet.

The third of the gorillas turns on Garrmondo, who looks like a much bigger threat despite his relative ineffectiveness. The ape's massive hand slaps him on the side of the head, knocking the helm of his new armor crooked and smashing his ear.

Slam: 17 damage to Garrmondo (+9 vs AC)


:savepoint: Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5, Cal 28, Great Apes 23

Glenn notes the fighter's difficulty moving in his new armor and decides to help out a little bit. As Garrmondo's sword whistles through the air, Glenn quickly redirects it ever so slightly with his own blade - and the strike finds a place in the ape's shoulder.

Guided Shot - Garr's 16 (6+8+2 from puyet) is just enough to get through green ape's reflex defense.
18 damage

After which Glenn twirls his blade and sticks it into the ape's rib cage. Glenn had forgotten how much he enjoyed fighting alongside others.

clever strike 9+13=22 hit
7+6+12= 25 damage

"Puyet not feel good. Puyet need aspirin tonic. Maybe fortnyquil."

Stand in N12.
Inspiring Word to self.
Second wind.

Gheth sees a barely conscious but strangely majestic Puyet fly to the ground after the gorilla swiped him with its massive arm, and a surge of anger goes through him. Apes, out of nowhere. They didn't have the right to be living in a stairwell! Least of all a stairwell sans jungle temple.

Gathering his courage, Gheth charges the two remaining enemies, and adds a roar to his holy rebuke of randomape.

"Get your stinking paws off him, you damn dirty apes!"

Move to L-12
Daunting Light on Silverback with C.A. to Cal (miss)
Healing Word on Puyet (Surge +13)
Sorry, it had to be done

Garrmondo swings wide, his heavy armor still encumbering him. The ape turns his back on the fighter for a split second, and Glenn spots an opening. With a quick apology, the rogue mashes his elbow into the fighter. Already overbalanced, Garrmondo wildly swings his sword arm in a desperate attempt to keep from toppling over. Happily, his blade lodges in the aforementioned ape and he's able to steady himself. With a small grin of satisfaction, Glenn slashes the skewered gorilla's throat. This monkey business was really bringing their teamwork together.

Puyet cautiously gets to his feet, making sure he has all his important organs, only to have the cleric charge past him in a fury. Gheth's indignant shout draws the silverback's attention, but unlike Puyethe's quick enough to dodge the ape's attempt to give him frequent flier miles. Frustrated, the silverback pounds its chest and issues a furious roar. His one surviving ally seems slightly emboldened.

Chest Beat: +2 to gorilla attack rolls for one round

:savepoint: Cal 28, Great Apes 23, Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5

I step back while unleashing a well-aimed lightning arrow at the silverback, and ready another arrow for when it comes closer to me. Should the dragonborn shift back after attacking, to provoke it into barreling forward, it's gonna get it!

Move to N12.
Silverback is my Quarry.
Shadow Wasp Strike at Silverback. It takes [ 11 + 7 + 1 + 6 = ] 25 HP damage.