Hey, it's just as valid of a dealbreaker as not dating someone who wears aviator sunglasses is!


ALIIICCEE >=U

Yeah man. Marriage is kind of a dealbreaker for me too. I dated this girl from Bakersfield for about 7 months too and then one day she just wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me, "Charlie knows about us."

???

"Who the fuck is Charlie?"
"My husband"

You. Have got. To be. KIDDING!

I left that night and I never so much as stop for gas in Bakersfield on my way to L.A. anymore. That town left a bitter taste in my mouth... In more ways than one. :/

Double Post:
Whether he's lying or not, it's fucking genius and you can't deny it.

She started wearing the ring after I found out about the marriage. It worked for me. Like I said, I really hated that prof. As such, seeing his wedding ring blurred as his wife worked over my dick? Fucking genius.

Were you at least tempted to yell "HOLY FUCK! CHARLIE IN THE TREES!"?

You know... Right about now, anything else to say would have been better than, "Wait... Are you serious? I um... Gotta... Go."

I went out like a punk bitch. :(

Seriously. In that instance, you just bust out the "Hory Fuck! You must be Kidding. You are one rame chick." Engrish is the ultimate diss.

Deeply seeded anger issues much? Seriously, it sounds like this story should end with "Then I strangled the bitch to death and poured her blood into my profs coffee one morning as I said with a smile, 'This is how your wife said you like your coffee."

No, I liked -her-. She was fantastic. I didn't like him, so fucking his wife made me happy. It's not like I raped his daughter for revenge. I just didn't stop fucking his wife after I found out they were married. Apples and oranges.

That's because it might've been incest. :love:

O SNAP. Fall brings the funny to this party, I see. And no, she never got pregnant. Literally. Not even with him.

However, another dealbreaker story. I go to a party, I get hammered, I go upstairs with this girl and we start fooling around. I rock out with my cock out, she jams out with her clam out and we get it on like Donkey Kong. Two days later, it happens again. Third day comes around and, with my tongue buried inside her she says "I think you should know, you'll always come second to Jesus Christ in my life." I fucking laugh. Har har joke, right? NO FUCKING JOKE. SHE PULLS OUT THE BIBLE AND TELLS ME SHE CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE LIKE SHE DOES. My classy reply? "Wait, what? I know Jesus chilled with prostitutes, but what the fuck?" And that's why Deni is the Casanova of our age. His ability to sweet talk the ladies.

Funny story. A buddy of mine married that girl three months ago. He thought she was a virgin. She'd fucked two of the guys in the party. We don't have the heart to tell him.

LOL. I don't even know what I would say to that shit. Something like "I hope Jesus Christ is your name for my penis."

Seriously, people who are desperately Christian are a sad folk.

You mean the fact that you'd already reamed her three ways from Sunday didn't cross her mind before she pulled the "Jesus" card? Oh that's fucking classic.
:tpg: :tpg: :tpg: :tpg:

You know, a chick who will pull out a bible while a guy has his tongue in her twat is just plain scary. And would surely be a dealbreaker for me if I was giving a guy a bj and he whips out the good book.

Good lord, that just blows my mind someone would do that in the middle of sex.

No, people who say they are Christian and have no idea what it means are sad folks.

I think that's what he meant by "desperately christian", oh ye crusader of Christ.

Exactly what scared me. Not that she was religious. That's fine. Religon is great. Keen, even. Jesus is my homeboy. But when it's all "Do you know we have a common friend? Jesus Christ?" That shit is FRIGHTENING.

Yea, that's basically my definition for desperately Christian, they're in it for Heaven, not for how to live their life. The mentality is "Oh shit Jesus is watching this guy eat me out, he'll be angry and not let me into heaven. I better make it a threesome with the Lord! *gets Bible out*"

See... It's posts like this that REALLY make me wish that we had a thread specifically dedicated for "Quotes out of Context" from the boards themselves, not IRC. :tpg:

Pure heretical hilarity gold. XD

If the girl mentions or hints to the fact that they dislike videogames... The connection is pretty much over right then and there.

Oh man girls who like to participate in stupid activities that guys like (i.e games) are truely solid gold...for it shows flexibility and willingness to accept new things.

You do realize that the majority of girls don't like videogames, right?

Where exactly are you getting your impeccable figures and percentages, oh wise one?

I think Google.com.
I believe he used his fat fingers to look up these statistics.

Yes, the lack of actual numbers only adds to the integrity and credibility.

Definitely not a breaker, but I've just come by the fact that my gf is the 'never been kissed' type. She claims to have been but the pudding is a different flavor. This makes my life a speck more interesting. What do I do, guys and gals? I've never been in this situation. How might I go about this nonchalantly?