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LET ME SHOW YOU HOW I MANHOGAN: TOO HOT FOR HOGAN
Chapter III: The Fire Crystal Spoiler:
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Chapter IV: How to Do Relatively Little in Many Pictures
Spoiler:
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Oh man, check out this lava here. Normally it would hit all your characters for 50 HP a step, but it's Geomancer's time to shine! http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv136@2x.png This is one of the two or three places in the game where this Geomancer ability is useful! Finally Geomancer, you are earning your keep. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv137@2x.png WAIT I CAN'T EVEN EQUIP THIS GEOMANCER YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv138@2x.png LEAVE NO SUMMONABLE MONSTER UNMURDERED http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv139@2x.png Time for another Gilgamesh beatdown. This guy is just having the worst week. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv140@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv141@2x.png Simply the worst. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv142@2x.png Mastered Lance on Lenna too, so I switched jobs again. I would make Krile the Dragoon next because she still needs the skill, but the next fight could be even worse than Crystals, so every point of Strength helps, maybe. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv143@2x.png Reflect Rings on everyone again. This is arguably not a great move initially because in his first phase he uses mostly physical and non-reflectable attacks, so keeping the Elven Mantles on everyone might help mitigate more damage on average. However, in the second and third phases he'll start casting spells and basically kill himself for me, so I definitely want those on. The hard part is surviving that long. There's no real strategy here besides having everyone heal and revive constantly and moving everyone back into the back row when he pulls them out. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv144@2x.png Neat, I survived that long! I honestly was not expecting that at all. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv145@2x.png Now that that battle's over, I'm free to move Krile to Dragoon. This is actually really convenient for some stuff that's going to happen in a minute. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv146@2x.png These dancing assholes prevent me from talking to Thief Faris and Geomancer Lenna, so Butz gets to escort around a teenage girl dressed up in a dragon corpse while they sit on thrones and be all lordly. What a raw deal. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv147@2x.png And here's why Krile's a Dragoon. Although this fight is super easy and would probably be doable even with Thief & Geomancer. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv148@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv149@2x.png All right, what's her face is back, cool. We missing anyone? Did we have a fourth class? http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv150@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv151@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv152@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv153@2x.png Naw, I'm probably just imagining things. |
Fuck it, let's get back on the horse.
http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_34a.png ALREADY OFF TO A GREAT START http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_40a.png Surprisingly useful, since it does back-row hits at full strength. YOUR AMBUSHES MEAN NOTHING, I HAVE HULK HANDS http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_46a.png Sarcasm isn't really helping. http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_69a.png REJECTION http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_65a.png Hahahahhaaa totally got her the third time though :( http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/272....0a%5D_89a.png Magissa and Forza go down no problem, though. Having a class that can actually figure out how to wield a damn sword is so refreshing. |
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I've never gone through FFV but as luck would have it, a local retrogaming store got in both the FF Anthologies and FF Origins for $12 a shot, so they're now in my "to do" pile thanks to this thread of hilarity. |
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Got my Earth Crystal job. This is my update. On the new world and that fancy stuff. Rangers can finally deal elemental damage with bows but using their !Animal ability for group heals most of the time. |
Back in the real world, Faris gets semi-naked.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/hawt.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...it/awkward.png Don't worry dude, it's not like she's a princess or anything. Oh wait. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../domestric.png MALE VICTIMS OF DOMECTIC VIOLENCE ARE VICTIMS TOO. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../howandwhy.png So the dragon waited until the planet got fused until heading home? Fucking stupid dragon. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...it/hesdead.png He's dead, I'm sure he won't mind us going through his stuff. Strange how nobody who lives in a castle in a jrpg ever seems to have a bedroom door. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/why2.png More shit we can't use, woot. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...it/dragon2.png Fartz' care for his pets continues true to form. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/orly.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...endangered.png Krile is still hearing voices. All that time away from her family appears to have done her no favours sanity-wise. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...t/leonardo.png Was it a teenager? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nnit/kinky.png Apparently not, and his days as a Ho are behind him too by the looks of things. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../conenient.png Laziest bit of story writing EVER. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nnit/power.png Power. |
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These guys are like Purobolos except even worse because they won't run out of MP. Pretty much the only thing I can do in this fight is count their HP and get really lucky with my Dragoon/Berserker timing. Took about 15 minutes. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv155@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv156@2x.png All right, so now we're going into an ancient pyramid untouched by man for hundreds of years with someone who indiscriminately attacks everything he sets eyes on, someone who jumps five hundred feet in the air on a regular basis, and someone whose job title is literally thief. This is the best team of archaeologists ever. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv157@2x.png Oh, she made it after all. See, this is why I didn't say "GOODBYE FOREVER GEOMANCER" the last time, because every time I do the Geomancer always comes back. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv158@2x.png Please let the demon keep her body please please please Guys play it cool just walk away http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv159@2x.png :( http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv160@2x.png Another boss with magic means it's Reflect Ring time again. She only uses spells that she'll absorb, but marginally healing her is way better than having to heal myself all the time. I've got a Berserker with the Dancing Dagger and a Dragoon jumping with the maxed out Chicken Knife so I'm good w.r.t. stabbing her in the face until she dies. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv161@2x.png The team somehow managed to loot a tablet from the pyramid without Butz breaking it in half with his face or eating it, so that means we get three of these legendary weapon deals. Of course, I can't actually equip most of them, but I can sell the extras for delicious, delicious potions. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv162@2x.png :mad: http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv163@2x.png So this marks the end of Adventure of the Dancing Berserker. While the 4000 HP or so of damage that Sword Dance unleashes is totally hilarious, it only happens 1/8 of every attack, and 3/8 of the time he'll do one of the useless dances and waste his turn. The Rune Axe has a much higher attack than the Dancing Dagger, so on average he'll do more damage with it, even taking Sword Dance into account. Besides, when I really need the extra oomph in battle, I already have a weapon that 3/4 of the time will attack with more power than Sword Dance: the Chicken Knife. The problem with the Chicken Knife is that 1/4 of the time it'll cause the party to flee, and I'd like to earn experience from battles once in a while. But during boss battles when you can't flee: look the fuck out. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv164@2x.png I also grabbed the Holy Lance for my Dragoon. The lance is less powerful than the Chicken Knife, but when a Dragoon uses Jump, attacks with lances get a 2x damage bonus. That bonus pushes its attack slightly over the Chicken Knife's. The last weapon I picked up was the Assassin's Dagger, which has a 25% chance of causing instant death, but I'm probably never going to use it except when it's exploitable. I'm leaving Main Gauches on my Thief and Geomancer for the 25% chance of blocking physical attacks, because I've gotta keep these bumblefucks alive. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv165@2x.png Oh thank god, the next update will have more monsters and less essays about equipment. |
To be fair, having you a short step ahead of me and explaining things is allowing me to progress smoothly without resorting to looking shit up on GameFAQS which always makes me feel dirty. I've been relying on a knight with cover to take hits for my weak-ass ninja when the going gets close but perhaps a main-gauche as weapon two might be a better option in terms of survivability? My samurai has the block incoming attacks skill so he's alright and I'll probably make him the ninja next and keep that skill active.
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If you can wait until you unlock the first set of sealed weapons, grab Sasuke's Katana for your Ninja for sure. It's like the Main Gauche but with triple the attack power.
If you can't make it that far, the Main Gauche will do in a pinch, but its attack is pretty low for this point in the game and there are some other blocking options that won't hamstring your melee damage: Samurai's level 3 ability definitely, Elven Mantles, and also Ninja's level 2 ability will eat two physical attacks. Main Gauches work for me because those characters would do no damage even with the best weapons, so I'm basically trading their weapon slot for another armor slot. Since the Ninja has the lowest Stamina of your jobs by far, you might consider moving it to the back row and using it as a support character. This isn't a bad idea if you use Throw a lot, since throwing does full damage from the back row. |
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Look, I'm not sure if you can help him or not, but just don't. Bird's an asshole. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e2/27...2.0a%5D_14.png This fight is pretty effortless thanks to a bunch of dangerous lunatics in domino masks feasting on his blood. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e2/27...2.0a%5D_19.png Decided to do Random this run, but got a Water job anyway. Sort of disappointed that I'm going to have access to Cure spells again. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_04.png "Let's wait to see if he comes back, first." http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_08.png Destroying a Dog http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_17.png Fuck you, you're not pinning this one on me. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_19.png Did I learn? Did I not learn? The question of whether I learned remains. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_32.png THROW ICE AT IT, THIS WORKS FOR SOME REASON. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_44.png Random means I can get jobs from the old crystals instead, and... do I. Do I ever. There may be a limit to how much access to Cura will help me. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e3/27...2.0a%5D_48.png ROYAL REJECTION |
Dude Pang, you might lap me. ;__;
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So this is where the game opens up. If I felt like it, I could jump into the rift and take on Exdeath now. But no. I intend to give this game the biggest of middle fingers by beating up everything I fucking can with this godforsaken party. As long as there's a boss I haven't socked in the face, my job here is incomplete. Since Shin's using my posts as a walkthrough, I figure now would be a pretty good time to go grab a bunch of items and summons and do absolutely nothing to advance any part of the story. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv167@2x.png First up is the Magic Lamp from Istory Falls. This thing is going to save my ass repeatedly in boss fights to come. But what does it do? http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv168@2x.png When you use it in battle, it summons a monster. Nearly every single summon in the game, in order. Finally, I have a use for Geomancer's absurdly high Magic stat. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv169@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv170@2x.png Next up, there's this asshole in the Phantom Village. What the fuck do you even get out of this exchange? http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv171@2x.png And how the fuck can you even know that? I have an airship, maybe I took the biggest damn shortcut. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv172@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv173@2x.png Anyway, so this Mirage Vest. When you equip it, you get a one-copy Blink effect when you start a battle. This means that the first physical attack that would do damage to that character will miss, and then that copy of the Dragoon you see there will go away. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv174@2x.png Handy, although limited in utility because the effect only happens once. Well, until I do this. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv176@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv177@2x.png Give her equipment a swap from the inventory menu like so... http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv178@2x.png ... and armor effects reset. Suddenly, my Dragoon is now invincible to physical attacks. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv179@2x.png Went back to the Phantom Village to do some shopping. There's all kinds of useful stuff here for nearly every party build, so make sure to take time when you get here to explore the hell out of it. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv180@2x.png DID SOMEONE SAY MORE SUMMONS http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv181@2x.png lawl Magic Lamp letting me use Bahamut on Bahamut http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv182@2x.png Real talk: this is the easiest time I've ever had beating Bahamut. It took like three turns with my Geomancer spamming the Magic Lamp, my Berserker hitting for 4500 HP per turn, and Mega Flare bouncing off a wall of Reflect Rings. Skills, maybe you were right about Red Mage after all. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv183@2x.png Aw yiss, the ABP Pleasuredrome. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv184@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv185@2x.png Faris seems significantly more excited about this windfall than everyone else. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv186@2x.png Oh and then there's also this thing, which I disappointingly didn't have to murder anything to get. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv187@2x.png Man, second summon in a row I got without murdering. What's a guy gotta do to get his hands on some murder? http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv188@2x.png Now that's what I'm talking about. Had to give my Dragoon a weaker lance because Odin is one of a few annoying bosses that absorb Holy. Odin's Zantetsuken hits every character for like a billion HP, so the strategy here is pretty much to keep the Dragoon in the air and the Berserker at max HP for more than 45 seconds. Three or so Berserker hits, a couple of jumps, and a couple of Magic Lamp summons get it done. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv189@2x.png Incidentally I think this is the first time I've ever beaten Odin legitimately without using the Break instant death trick. Breaking the game sure is neato. |
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Okay, I can't think of any other ways to stall this LP, so let's get back into things with the Island Shrine. Another tablet dungeon means another set of these annoying jerks to beat up. Since the last time I fought these guys, though, I picked up a new toy. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv191@2x.png HAHA EAT A DICK http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv193@2x.png Oh look, it's the boss with copies of itself where only the real one takes damage and every time you hit it it switches places. If you try to take the easy way out and attack all of them at once, they each counter with Frost. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv194@2x.png Well, unless you use the Magic Lamp. The lamp is actually not very useful in this fight beyond one use, because after Bahamut is Leviathan, which Wendigo absorbs, and then no other summons after that really do any damage. All I can really do is keep sending my Dragoon up and hope she hits the right target while Butz charges at holograms. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv195@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv196@2x.png Oh look, it's the part where the party splits up and you have to go down two paths in the same dungeon. The left path monsters all require you to use magic against them, while the right path monsters you have to beat up physically. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv197@2x.png So the right path is obviously not a problem for my troupe, as random outbursts of physical violence are all they're really good at. Well, that and healing Minotaur because he absorbs Holy and I left the Holy Lance on my Dragoon haha whoops Anyway this battle was over in 13 seconds. Chicken Knife, you complete me. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv198@2x.png But how am I supposed to beat the magic side without magic? If you try a physical attack on him, he casts Return, which resets the battle. For the purposes of this fight, using the Magic Lamp counts as a physical attack. As does Gaia. And he cures himself constantly, so bouncing his spells back with Reflect Rings won't do it. He's vulnerable to Stop and Silence, which he occasionally casts on himself when they bounce off my shields. These provide an opening for one or two attacks, but even with the Dragoon in this battle I can't deal enough damage during these windows to keep up with his healing. Other classes could pull it off, but nothing I have access to. Guess I'll just have to speed up my emulator and let him bounce spells off me until he empties his 30,000 MP. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv199@2x.png ONE HOUR LATER http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv200@2x.png TWO YEARS LATER http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv201.jpg Started reading a book. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv202@2x.png Oh thank god. Return only costs 1 MP, so he needs to be COMPLETELY out of MP before you start attacking him. Just because he doesn't have enough MP to cast a specific spell doesn't mean he's out of MP entirely. Luckily, one of his attacks is the 1 MP spell Libra, so you're looking for that to fail. When it does, go nuts. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv203@2x.png Being shanked to death by a Geomancer has got to be embarrassing. Let's see how long that took on the in-game clock. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv204@2x.png I REGRET EVERYTHING |
We leave Leonardo to his own devices and go for a stroll. First stop, whatever castle it is nearby with an entirely forgettable name.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...mustbenice.png Must be nice. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...it/2letsgo.png I'll keep an eye out, cheers. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...inurcastle.png IN UR BED, SLEEPIN ON UR PILLOW. Meh, he's dead, he ain't give a shit. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...tlotofgood.png More like the Fuckalluseasa Guardian Tree. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...cozhesdead.png Because Phoenix Downs are weirdly specific in their use? We head into the desert and singularly fail to bump into any of whatever monster I was supposed to be looking out for. Went to the pyramid bit, threw some cash at some gargoyles, headed inside... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nit/2learn.png The man in the training hut knew his stuff after all. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nnit/2ffs2.png Spotting a pattern here. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/2ffs.png Angry face. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nnit/2ffs3.png FUCK YOU CHESTS. The encounters in here are all of the multiple enemy variety and only being able to hit one at a time is frustrating. Luckily... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../2moreliek.png ENTER THE NINJERKER. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...2ninserker.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ninserker2.png She can hit everything on the screen sometimes, she can block attacks and she regenerates health. Fuck yeah! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nit/2zelda.png Final Pacman V. Bumped into this dude, he said something about his brother whilst scrabbling around for the last of the change on the floor, I had throttle on and skipped past without reading by mistake. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/2ulp.png After a bit more tomb raiding, we reach the top and the team decide to celebrate with some LSD. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../2pilledup.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...uldgowrong.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../2tripping.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nit/2oops2.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nnit/2oops.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ingdragons.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...eeyouthere.png HEAVY SHIT. The gang decide to ride out the comedown by chilling at the Guardian Tree. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ckndragons.png Fuck off dragon. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...2dragonpoo.png I never knew dragons shit out princesses. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nit/2earth.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/2lol.png Run Leonardo, run! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7.../2futurtle.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...turtlelake.png Coming soon, boating trips on lake turtle. The demon boss was a total bitch. Randomly not doing damage was kinda mitigated by having a reflect ring and flame shield equipped but this basically boiled down to throwing hi-potions at the Danceserker until he sword danced it to death. Was going to call it a day there until I remembered something CHz said... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...innit/2chz.png Time for some running away! Totally should have got this before fighting the demon... |
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Whattup, time for something new. Instead of unlocking a summon that I'll never get to use, this time I'll unlock a job that I'll never get to use. Another puzzle boss fight here. As a mime, Gogo dishes out whatever you hit him with several times over, so the trick is not to attack, and eventu— http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv206@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv207@2x.png Wait Berserker what are you doing http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv208@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv209@2x.png Oh god damn it RELOAD SAVE STATE http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv210@2x.png Whattup, time for something new. Instead of unlocking a summon that I'll never get to use, this time I'll— What, something seems different this time? Preposterous. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv211@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv212@2x.png Mime is one of the best endgame jobs and is usually totally worth getting when you play the game normally. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv213@2x.png Tablet dungeon #3 means you get another chance to destroy some Gargoyles. Take that, ancient stonecraft. I'm not even taking a picture of them this time because fuck 'em. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv214@2x.png These guys are yet another boss who revive if you don't kill them simultaneously, but unlike Gargoyles, you can't cheese this one with attack timing. If you don't kill them all at the same time, they instantly revive and then use a counterattack on you. Even in a normal run of FFV, the easiest way to deal with them is to summon Odin, because they're not immune to instant death so Zantetsuken murders them immediately. Magic Lamp all day every day. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv215@2x.png Last one of these means the last two Gargoyles. Goodbye, old friends. I'll miss you in a way that doesn't entail any longing whatsoever. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv217@2x.png Tablet dungeon #4 boss is optional on account of it being a summon. Due to this guy's propensity to spam Tidal Wave at you, the only way to beat him without magic (besides getting really lucky with his RNG) is to flush 200,000 gil down the toilet in the Phantom Village for four Coral Rings. So if you don't have a Summoner, it's probably best to skip this one unless you have a major urge to waste your cash. However, my policy of murdering everything demands that I show this guy what for. Plus, I'm going to need those rings anyway for a superboss fight I'm going to attempt (and wipe forever on). http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv218@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv219@2x.png Tee hee. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv220@2x.png With everything else I can do now complete, it's back to Kuza to pick up the other nine legendary weapons that I'm never going to use. This doesn't do anything storywise, so since I don't need these weapons, I could've skipped this step and gone directly into the Rift. However, returning the tablets does something important for me later: http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv221@2x.png This guy comes up and hints you that the absurdly difficult GBA bonus dungeon has been unlocked. I'm going to give it a shot along with Shinryu and Omega after I beat the final boss. STAY TUNED FOR HILARITY |
ChZ, in your Magic Lamp instructional picture, I thought you were fighting Shadow the Hedgehog on first glance.
There is zero problem with this. |
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DEMONS HATE ICE CUBES http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_05.png Realized I needed to grab this when 3/4 of my party was level 20 and Lenna was like 16 XP away. MANY A QUICKLOAD KEY WAS PRESS'D THAT DAY. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_18.png QUIT FUCKING WITH MY HEAD FARIS http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_23.png DON'T YOU EVEN KNOW THAT http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_28.png Did you know if you put water on desert animals, they die instantly? They live in the desert because they hate water! It's true! http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_31.png YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LENNA http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_56.png Don't take care of them... as you... can not. So I should... continue to not take care of them... in the same way... that you didn't? That is, in the way that you didn't take care of them, not in the way that you didn't not take care of them, which you didn't, as you opted to not take care of them rather than avoiding not taking care of them. Or, like, you can't take care of them on account of being dead, so I can't not take care of them in that way specifically, but, in general, not taking care of them, sure, I can do that. Cool deal. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_57.png Sorry, I just promised a dying man I wouldn't take care of you. Word is bond. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_65.png And Random mode gets us our fourth job. Our. fourth. Oh man. Oh god, oh man. Oh god, oh man. Oh god oh man http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27...2.0a%5D_89.png Don't be good, but don't get into too much trouble either. Use your discretion. Like, if I see some graffiti and broken bottles when I get back, rad, but I'd better not have to bail you out. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_139.png OUR ALLIES DEMAND MAXIMUM HYPE http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_147.png Plants also hate water. I'm solving pretty much all my problems by dumping buckets of water on them. Aqua Breath, you so dumb. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_161.png A-ha! Everybody else has blown it, but not me! But it's my big chance! I'll blow it real good, you wait and see! http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_177.png (It's done with Dark Spark and L5 Death.) http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_182.png Not really clear on your goals here, just gonna put half of you in the sub and let you figure it out on your own. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_195.png totally worth it http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_200.png There are some problems Aqua Breath cannot solve. These problems are solved by dedicating half your party to full-time Desperate Healing. You may call Faris a Bard, but I'm sure pretty sure she's just a potion caddy. http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_223.png Shut up grinding for those Reflect Rings was not a waste of time what do you know http://www.saxypunch.com/fjf/p2e4/27....0a%5D_232.png Oh hey Exdeath can I cast Aqua Breath on you? Oh that's not doing much is it, huh. Hmm. Hmm. Why would you even have so much HP that's not okay! |
Christ, you are progressing quickly.
Also: ace name choice. |
I take it there is some kind of official record for most number of times finished FFV in a month that Pang is trying to break here? You're gonna lap me in a day or so at this rate. :)
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In last year's Fiesta, someone completed 14 runs, so Pang has to pick up the pace a little bit.
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Chapter V: The Earth Crystal
Spoiler:
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Here are most of the Rift bosses introducing themselves. From left to right: might suck (#3), definitely going to suck (#4), not bad (#1), probably the hardest required boss for this party (#7), not bad (#5), not bad (#6), might suck (#2). http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv225@2x.png #1: not bad. She casts Reflect on herself and bounces some poison spells at you, and she also counters with Drain a lot. She's vulnerable to Silence, but I didn't need to inflict it (I kept some Mage Mashers I stole during the Karnak escape just in case, but I've never used them). I even forgot to equip the Chicken Knife on my Berserker and still pummeled her into a fine paste without any issues. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv226@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv227@2x.png WHY AM I EVEN GOING TO ATTEMPT THESE GUYS I AM THE DUMBEST http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv228.png whoops i'm a boob and forgot to take a screenshot anyway #2: might suck. This is pretty much exactly like the Byblos fight but with stronger attacks. What I had to worry about here was him using Wind Slash more than once without being able to heal sufficiently in between. At one point I had only my Geomancer alive with about 45 HP, but I somehow survived. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv229@2x.png #3: might suck. Azulmagia uses nothing but Blue Magic, so this fight is really dependent on which attacks he rolls. You'll laugh when he tries Level 5 Death and cry when he uses ???. I ended up with Krile Olded and Butz hit with Dischord so my damage output was awful and this took forever. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv230@2x.png #4: definitely going to suck. Like Titan, this guy also spams the fuck out of Earth Shaker, but when he does it, it does 1000 damage to everyone. If you have characters Floating, he has the additional dick move of casting 100 Gs to cancel it. The most hilarious way to beat Catastrophe is to put a Reflect Ring on a Floated character, because 100 Gs is reflectable. His AI script is pretty dumb, so every turn he'll notice you have a Floated character and cast 100 Gs to no effect. No damage flawless victory for the party. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv231@2x.png Of course I don't have a way of Floating anyone so I'm totally fucked. Wiped four times before working out a healing strategy. Earth Shaker killed Lenna outright, so she just stayed dead. I put Hermes Sandals on Krile and Faris and Artful Dodger on Faris too. Between them, they were able to get three turns in between every one of Catastrophe's, so they were able to get everyone's HP back to max with elixirs before the next attack. With that taken care of, it was just a matter of Butz poking it with a stick until it died. Good thing I've been stockpiling these elixirs. Going to use every single one I didn't use here during the Necrophobe fight. :( |
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There are six of these guys milling around the same area as Azulmagia and Catastrophe. They play the boss BGM, but aside from their tendency to knock your characters out of the battle with Encircle, they're quite easy. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv234@2x.png After you whale on them a bit, they turn into this guy, who is similarly a cakewalk. Much easier than Archaeoaevis. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv235@2x.png Jura Aevis has a rare steal of a Dragon Lance, which murders the heck out of dragon-type enemies. These are more or less required for Shinryu, so I save stated my way to four of them. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv236@2x.png #5: not bad. He knows Holy, which is pretty much an instant kill, but aside from that and occasionally turning your entire party into frogs, he's quite easily murdered. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv237@2x.png #6: not bad, when fought correctly. He has a 1/3 chance of countering both magical and physical attacks with some nasty stuff, and he has some powerful normal attacks too. After a few turns, he'll start charging one of the most powerful attacks in the game, Giga Flare. A book in the library room in the Rift hints you to his weakness: when he's charging, his defense goes way down and he becomes vulnerable to a few more status effects, including Break and instant death. Dropping an Odin on him in this state is instant victory, so all you have to do is heal and not attack until he starts charging and then Magic Lamp him. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv238@2x.png One last Gilgamesh "fight," which only lasts for a couple of rounds before he scampers off. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv240@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv242@2x.png So you get to Exdeath and he sucks more places into the Rift before you fight him. I'm taking some pictures because I don't think it's very well known what happens if you leave the Rift and return to the overworld after this cutscene. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv244@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv245@2x.png LAWL TIME WARP EVERYONE'S OKAY http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv246@2x.png #7: I'M FUCKED. Actually Necrophobe is not required at all, I'm not sure why I thought he was. The main issue isn't with Necrophobe himself, but rather the four Barriers around him, which all reflect disgustingly powerful spells at you. The same problem I had with the Crystals comes up again here: I need to kill them off one at a time as quickly as possible, which is exceedingly difficult with a Berserker as my muscle. The reason I left the Rift to take those last time paradox screenshots was to buy four Flame Rings from the Phantom Village. The Barriers will occasionally toss fire spells my way, so they'll be absorbed and heal my guys. I'm also giving Ice Shields to my Berserker and Dragoon so they'll absorb the ice spells too. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv247@2x.png Still wiped because they also cast Holy, Flare, and Thundaga. :( http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv248@2x.png I beat him on my third try, but only because I got really lucky with their spell selection and my Dragoon's jump timing. I ended up getting her off screen right before they unleashed a round of spells that killed everyone else and would've killed her too. Also, the last Barrier ran out of MP (they only have 300 and cast high level spells), which helped a lot. Even when you destroy the Barriers, Necrophobe himself is not a pushover, because he attacks twice per turn and has a really high offense. Ended up using 10 phoenix downs and 18 elixirs for the whole fight. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv249@2x.png Okay fate of the world etc. Like the last Exdeath fight, he uses a lot of physical attacks for which the Elven Mantles might have been a better choice to keep, especially at the beginning. When he starts casting spells, though, it'll make life so much easier. Also like the last Exdeath fight, there's no real complex strategy here besides stabbing it until it dies. Just had to keep my HP up, because Meteor can very easily ruin my day. http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv253@2x.png http://quiteajolt.com/gff/fffuck/ffv254@2x.png Welp Almagested into oblivion. None of my characters have enough HP to survive it, so I've gotta go grind some levels and maybe pick up some equipment with higher magic resistance. Guess I'm not beating the game tonight! |
You can do it, CHz! I believe in you!
Spoiler:
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