But I'm not saying sex alone is the only reason for cheating. In some cases, it is. In some, it's not. It just happens that a majority of them are.

The thing about the other woman not existing. If you can find someone stupid enough to get involved with no strings attached, uh, yeah, it would turn into a routine thing. Cheating for sex doesn't always mean it's going to be a one night stand because at the time you were just so horny, you couldn't control yourself. Clearly you've never had the pleasure of meeting a complete asshole in your lifetime. I've known plenty of guys, along with my own ex, that had someone else on the side but had no emotional attachment to them.

If you'd stop being such a bitch about this, and actually listen to what I'm saying without twisting my words, we wouldn't have a problem.

I believe all situations are different. I'm not writing it in stone that "ALL MEN CHEAT FOR SEX, ALL WOMEN CHEAT FOR A DEEPER CONNECTION" but realistically, a good portion of those people are doing it for those reasons.
If you can't grasp that concept then oh well, twist it any way you'd like.

Oh god it's Denicalis the second.

Why does the rest of the internet find it so hard to stumble into a Harem?

I like how she rejected me without even acknowleding my post or my existence. You know what? Fuck it. I've come to the conclusion below:

http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/5...ewhorescc3.jpg

Let's make beautiful memories together.

Joke's on you, already have!

Drop your stats or leave forever.

You are an extremely sexist woman, Lunar. Let that settle in for a bit. You are under the impression that a man is simply incapable of creating emotional bonds with other people with the depth, strength and nuance that an emotional bond for a woman holds. Furthermore, you think that women cannot help but create these bonds. No, don't argue, it's very obvious to everyone who isn't you that this is how you see the world.

I'm very sorry that your boyfriend kept dating other women while he was with you, but I never asked for this information and I don't want it. Not all men are assholes, not all men who cheat are assholes, and you insisting that the majority of them are is airheaded bullshit. Your ancedotal evidence doesn't amount to a hill of beans.

I'm sorry, there is no room for insults in the Quiet Place. if you can't keep your temper in check I'm going to have to report you to the forum authorities.

A good portion is by no means most, or a majority. In fact people usually cheat for more than one reason; you seem to think that I'm talking about people who cheat without having sex anywhere on their mind. You would understand my argument to be so if you were being needlessly obtuse but that's becide the point; what is interesting is that while you feel that men, the majority of the time, cheat with sex as a high priority, that women rarely do so. So - to your mind - very few women cheat with sex as a priority at all, and the majority of those cheatin' bitches are... in platonic relationships with the other man? Wow, you're weird.

Similiar experiences explain a portion of the population.

You, yet again, are not grasping the concept of what I am saying.

And honestly, I don't really give a shit anymore. This has become so off topic, and clearly we don't agree so we'll just leave it at that.

A portion of the population you have direct experience with. You do not have a large enough sample size, you do not control for age, income, color, or location, and worst yet you drive men to cheat on you. That isn't an impartial study, lady, and your results are thus thrown out.

Seriously, you can't be this stupid, can you?

if u felt someones cheating on you and you found they really were trust me ive been there and it felt bad just dump him or her and move on even tho a boy or girl won't like u again for along time if thats the case who cares just have fun and dont cheat on ppl if they cheating on u its worste thing to do or get them jealus so they want u back just move on and find someone else that nice and caring

Periods are your friend! :P

My most recent ex cheated on me pretty early on. I forgave her and tried to move on, but it was impossible. When the trust is gone, there's nothing left. I stayed, but not for very long.

Cheating is a symptom of one of two things, imo: lack of communication, or a malevolent heart. If someone feels unfulfilled, it's their responsibility to make it known so that they can work together to correct the problem. Running off and boning someone because you're bored is pretty low, I think, and a hella shitty way to make your feelings known. If you're afraid to tell your SO that the sex is getting boring, or that you feel emotionally unfulfilled, you probably shouldn't be with them anyway, since you clearly don't trust them enough.

If someone cheated on me again, they'd have to be with me for at least 18 months prior, and would have to have been drunk enough to pass out or puke on the third party during the act. They'd also have to tell me within two-three weeks of it happening, minus a day for every month past the 18th that we've been together. Yeah, I've got a complex formula for it... what of it? Bottom line is you better have a damn good reason, and may the gods help you if you went looking for it. Quite frankly, I think all cheaters are dirty rotten scum-sucking weaklings. If sex is that big a concern for you, than take to picking up like-minded folk in bars, and leave those of us who are looking for emotional connections out of it.

Sure, my wang would love to be in as many vaginas as possible, but ultimately I'm in control of my extremities, not the other way around. I also have an urge to jump off high things, just to see if I can fly yet, but I don't indulge. I've nothing against those who partake in casual sex, or those who engage in polygamy, as long as I have no part in it. Relationships are different for everyone, and each one is formed with a set of guidelines that are defined by both parties as it develops. If you can't follow the guidelines that you and your partner set, the relationship has no foundation, and will crumble.

Hear hear hear. Well spoken. I agree with you 100%.

Quite frankly, married with kids or not, If someone cheated on me, it would damn near have to be because she got drugged and couldn't control herself or something down those lines, and even in that kind of scenario, I wouldn't forgive her completely! Marriage may be a promise of "for better or for worse", but in my opinion, a relationship in itself is built upon a promise to be with no one else. If one promise is broken, the other doesn't really matter anymore.

I say throw the bitch out or get out yourself. Life is too short to be spent on assholes who cheat on you.

Negatory.... I would never even think twice of staying with someone if they cheated on me. Unless it was a special circumstance... such as going to the bar, getting wasted and dancing with other guys... then I guess I might stay. In all other cases, probably not... actually definitely not.

So since the majority of you ladies seem to be saying you'd be more pissed if your husband was emotionally attached a woman, how do you draw this distinction between friendship attachment and uh, relationship-type attachment? Thing is - when a GF would tell me "oh I met this guy and he's really cool, blah blah blah" it's fine and all good as long as there's no physical intimacy. Relationship - sex = friendship in my mind, so emotional bonds she makes never represent an immediate threat like physical cheating does (unless our own relationship is shit). And I KNOW that whenever there's questions about hanging out with an opposite sex friend, the person will 99.9% of the time say "oh we're just good friends."

So in the case of cheating, why should emotional intimacy take precendence over physical intimiacy when emotional intimacy can easily be dismissed or mistaken for a strong friendship?

ps. in reply to the thread, I was in a relationship in which I got cheated on 3 times over 1 1/2 years and I stuck it out (due to the whole "i love you forgive me" bullshit), and it did get a lot better, but then crumbled appart entirely when she dumped me for another guy. Moral I learned: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I'd probably forgive the first time a girl cheats, but it's absolutely over if there's a second time.

I once got very, very angry at my boyfriend because he was emotionally close to a person I did not like or trust. He was the kind of person who would say "there are no secrets between us, what's mine is yours" but he would protect her from me, to the point of telling her she can speak freely over chat becuase I wasn't in the room.

If you think I was overreacting to something that wasn't there, I guess it's a good thing that you and I are not in a relationship. All I'm saying is that if my boyfriend's friendship with someone starts resembling one of VG's cuddlewhore sessions, something is fucked

In short Falldragon, you said your girlfriend cheated on you three times in less than a year and she had very close male friends. Perhaps this should be telling you something. It is a mystery!

Sorry, should'nt have used "ladies" so much as "people who believe emotional intimacy is worse than physical intimacy." It was mainly directed at Alice's post:

And plus, my ex was a diehard believer in this philosophy as well. It's hard for me to comprehend.

Double Post:
The issue here wasn't that he was speaking to another girl that you didn't trust. The issue was that he would have conversations with her about things he knew you would consider inappropriate. This shows different levels of commitment: he expected to be able to say what he wants to close female friends, you expect him to show moderation because of your relationship. Of course, I'm really generalizing here because I have no clue what the details are.

Well there's another factor at work here beyond "he shouldn't have been secretly talking to her." You didn't trust him enough to let him freely speak with this girl. In a truly trusting relationship I don't think this would ever come up as a factor, because you'd trust your significant other to know where to draw the line.

Well it was over 1 1/2 years (1.5), not less than a year. About every 6 months, haha. Also, I never said the guys she cheated on were close male friends. In 2 of the 3 cases they were practically strangers, or only knew each other less than a month.

But to sum up, I certainly know where you're coming from. You didn't like him developing close friendships with other girls you thought had bad intentions. I was the exact same way with my ex. However, I'd go on to say that this has it's foundation in the trust, and how much you can (or can't) expect out of him. In the ideal relationship, both people should be able to have strong friends with the opposite-sex but know where to draw the line, because they both know how to respect the relationship they're in.

Course, most of this is based off of my own past relationships, so it's complete opinion :)

And seeing as though you don't know what the details are, maybe you shouldn't tell me what the issue really is. Why are you arguing with me?

There are these seperate occurances of the same thing, and other seperate occurances of very similar things... I just can't add them up! It must be a major coincidence.

In the ideal relationship, friendships your mate makes should not creep you out. I couldn't give less of a shit if I tried if you disagree, or think that the problem lies in the creeped-out party.

Because I'm the argumentative type? Sorry. It was mostly because I went through the exact same thing, so I thought you might've had a similar understanding.

Not sure what you mean.

I'm not saying it was your fault. He was purposely breaking your trust. My point was that strong friendships to opposite sex people can exist as long as you both know the boundaries of what you both expect.

That's not exactly insight. Just sayin'.

it depends really on how much you know and trust the cheater. if you believe that this was a lapse in judgement and you know that it's something they'll never do again, you could stay with them, or if you're the vengeful type, you could go anf do the same to them, but hopefully most aren't like that.

I know it's easy to say "dump him" or "her" whomever cheated, but you never know, cause one instance might take away a lifetime to happiness with what could be your one true love if not thought out rationally. I guess just think before you act is the best response, along with openess and talking

Yeah, and you never know, she might cheat on you again and you might end up killing yourself for a lost cause. You never know. Better be safe than sorry IMO.

this is true, but that's the chance you take upon your own judgement. and it would be a good learning experience. and if you are really so depressed to go towards suicide, then seek help