I refuse to believe that you can't help it (unless you have a condition like autism). You know that it's not socially acceptable not to be able to make eye contact. You know it's something you have a hard time with. Why just accept it and say that you "can't help it"? Your mind is strong. You can do amazing things with it. Just tell your eyes what to do and they'll do it. It might not be within your comfort zone, but sometimes you have to suck it up and make yourself do things that are hard, for your own good. If you do it enough, it will probably start to feel natural eventually.

Of course, like you said, there are legitimate conditions that make it almost impossible for some people to maintain eye contact, but for most people it's something that you just have to work on if you want to be socially acceptable.

Once again, agree.

I don't see why it would make you uncomfortable to make eye contact with people. What do you have to hide? Its a sign of little confidence to me, and I automatically write people off who show these traits.

And Alice is right - sometimes, despite your comfortability levels, you have to be a man and just do it. None of us like jury duty, none of us like dealing with the police, et cetera. There are some things in life you should just learn to live with.

If you want to get a good job and maintain healthy human relationships, you should be able to look a person in the eye.

Please don't take offense to this. ;_;

Yeah, man i've been there too. I picked up a friend of mine one day, and she hates the white stripes (i rather like them). I had Get Behind Me Satan playing on the player when i picked her up, and she didn't say a thing. I think the only song she'd heard by them was Fell in Love With a Girl, and ever since then, the band has been unworthy of her ears.

I asked her if i should turn it off, and she said no it's not bad. When we were getting closer to where we were going, she was really enjoying it, and she finally asked which band it was. When i told her it was the White Stripes she looked really confused, and refused to believe me.

People who seem to have a constant need to be the best at everything, or have the answer to everything. It doesn't matter what you ask, they have the correct answer (even if they have no fucking idea what they are talking about). It doesn't matter what you've done, they've done it better/faster/harder/longer--even if they really haven't. They exaggerate anything and everything to make themselves look better. Its annoying as shit, but I've found that it often conceals a severe self-esteem issue.

People with very poor personal hygiene. I mean distinct body order, huge pit stains, filthy clothing covered in stains, a complete buffet coming out of the spaces in their teeth. Put some effort into taking care of yourself! I don't care if you don't want to bathe every day, but at least put some goddamn deodorant on and fake it!

The incredibly indecisive. I mean totally unable to make any decision at all for the group. They just stand around and wait for someone else to tell them what to do. Voice your opinion, dammit, because I know you have one!

Ah! Dammit I'm well indecisive! But hey, it's not because I'm too afraid to voice my opinion, its because I've got too many opinions, and I'm spending ages trying to pick one!

Okay, people who are never impressed by anything annoy me. Like, you'll do something great or show them something great, and they just won't be impressed, 'cause they've seen it before, or seen something better....apparently.

One more i forgot, is when people have delayed reactions to stuff. I know this one guy who is terrible for this. I'll tell him a joke, and regardless of whether or not he liked it, he'll give me a serious look, for about 5 seconds before be gives his reaction.

Me: *something funny*
Him: .......... "That's Funny"

It's creepy. And he does that for serious stuff too. And the worst part is, he doesn't do it all the time, it's completley random. I never know what to think around him. Man, it gets on my nerves.

Oh shaking hands with a lady...

it bothers me when I see a guy reach out to shake a girls hand. you should always wait for the girl to initiate a hand shake if there's going to be one. and as for the shake you should neither overpower her or give her the fish. i try to meet the hand shake with the same amount of firmness of her grip.

another thing that bugs me is when people are speaking in public or whatever and they keep their hands in their pockets. it just looks silly.

in general, the only thing that really irks me is when people have a total lack of common courtesy. if you run into someone, say you're sorry. if there's someone right behind you while you're going through a doorway, hold the door open so it doesn't smack into them. if you have to sneeze or cough, cover your face. please try not to expell gas in public places; you may be able to handle the smell, I can garuntee you other people will not be so tolerant. if you have any garbage, put it in a garbage can - don't be a pussy and leave it laying around for someone else to take care of.

the list goes on.

I tend to shy away from the arrogant, cocky, over-confident types as well. it is an extremely unattractive trait to have. even if you are the best looking person in the world, don't preach to everyone about how you are. just shut up and be gracious that anybody would notice you in the first place.

I also highly dislike it when people invade my personal space, especially people who I barely even know. it's even worse when they can't take a hint. if I'm constantly taking a step back to get away from you, for the love of god stop following me. unless you're a friend of mine, I probably won't want you hugging me or putting your arm around me either.

If I have a defining characteristic, it's that I'm calm and easy-going... almost nothing mentioned in this thread gets to me much. The fake-friendly thing, though... that bothers even me a little.

Incompetence in my superiors. I cannot stand this. It's one thing if people who work under you are a little more green on matters, but when your boss is a lazy nutjob who can't understand how things work, then there is a problem.

Of course incompetence in general irritates me slightly, but people with authority who are supposed to be more competent than I am is completely infuriating.


Also, I'm one of those people who usually don't look you in the eyes. I'm not sure why, it's just a habbit. And sometimes it does feel awkward for me to do it.

Alice:
Well, I didn't say I don't make eye contact >.>, but its just uncomfortable, and it makes me seem "cowering" under someone on occasions. That's not always the case though, depending on the situation or the people, I guess. I had always trying to avoid to be appearing to stare at people.

And Sass, I don't see how I could be offended by that, those are sound advices. :) You and Alice both, naturally.

Talking for the sake of noise. Talking is great, but when it gets to the point that you know that someone is talking just because he wants noise.. it annoys me, alot.

Another one is a tiny inaudable voice.

Hipocrates more than anything >:(, People who can dish it out but can't take it it. Poeple who need to practice what they preach so to speak. That peronality trate makes me wanna hurt something. The only thing I hate more that that are people who think they are better than you for stupid reasons. I don't down on anyone unless they realy deserve it.

There is nothing that I cannot tolerate more than people who are cruel to others, people who hurt others, either physically or emotionally for their own pleasure. Every time I see it I can only feel a sense of anger and bewilderment. I simply cannot understand the motivations of the abuser or how they could derive such pure, almost childlike enjoyment from others' misfortune and misery.

Even in my own church, I see these types of people. And what hurts even more, is that there really is nothing that I can do to stop them. People do not want others disciplining their unruly children, (because that would imply that they can't do it themselves) and the adult offenders are often higher-ups within the church itself and can commit this type of behavior with impunity.

So I simply try to be as kind as possible to the victims. And even to the offenders themselves. Kindness is very important to me. In fact, I might make a post about that in this thread's companion thread.

Other than that, I can get along with the vast majority of people. Annoying people, passive people, loud people, slow people, people who talk too much or too little, assholes, jerks, I'm fine with all of them. But I simply can't tolerate cruel people in my presence.

Oh my god... YES! These people are usually the self-absorbed narcissistic pretty boy/girl types who think they're god's gift to the opposite sex (Or same sex, if that's their thing) and treat everyone who they perceive as having "inferior genes" like shit.

I have a few stories about people like this and in one of them a friend of mine nearly disfigured one of these poor saps. Spent 3 days in jail because of it too, but he thought it was worth it, if only to see a broken ego for vindication.

Ha ha ha, try it the other way. I knew someone who just would not look away during a conversation. I'd be talking and his eyes would be glued to my face as if I had this enormous facial deformity (and I'd like to point out that I didn't). Even when he was speaking, he'd look and I swear to God, that guy did not blink once. That does not make me want to maintain a healthy human relationship...that just plainly creeped me out.

Ew, I know what you're talking about. There's a difference between maintaining a normal amount of eye contact and boring holes through people.

I think that some people who have a problem making eye contact force themselves to look you in the eye to the point that it becomes uncomfortable. I know this one guy who tries hard maintain eye contact even though it's not comfortable for him, and he ends up bending his neck as if he's looking down, but his eyes stay on you. It's very uncomfortable.

I really have a hard time with people who refuse to admit they're wrong, no matter how retarded their argument or blatantly obvious the proof against their point is. People have been shooting along the lines of this already, though.

One I haven't seen yet but I'm sure some of you can relate to. Me being somewhat musically inclined, I absolutely can NOT stand someone (or people) showing their musical talent they think they have but obviously do not have. This is particularly the case with singing, not so much with other stuff. There are some songs I seriously hate because whenever I hear the actual songs (which I otherwise might've considered decent or even good) they remind me of some other instance where someone failed miserably at trying to sing it. It's torment, I tell you.

I know I probably sound pretty harsh in saying this, but 99% of the time I feel like the person(s) should never have even tried.

Couldn't have said it better...

I have this friend... whenever she comes over to talk she's almost sitting on your lap. I always end up sitting on the border of my canape or standing up cause it's just freaking unbarable! I just hate people in my face... really, I don't get the fun they have out of that.

Definitely people who will stick to an opinion just for the heck of it. You can present them the most convincing arguments/data, and they'll even acknowledge that it's right, but don't have the adaptibility to change their opinions based on new information. Extreme stubborness definitely pisses me off, especially when people are proud for being obstinate.

I hate nice people. You can never say what they think.

Cowards, liars, and thieves really piss me off. Everything else is just sort of blah, to each their own.

I agree with you. It just makes me so angry. I have a friend who's EXACTLY like that, and I've repeatedly asked him why he did it, and he just said, "It's fun". Now I don't know if he was joking or what, but... I was like WTF? I just feel like slapping some sense into him everytime he hits somebody.

You've pretty much named all traits I hate but three big things have to be: extreme negativity, selfishness, irritatingly loud-ness and superficiality. Wait, that's four. I believe there's a BIG difference between being pessimistic and just being plain negative. Like my ex. When I said I wanted to work part-time as a waitress, he just flat out said to my face I'd suck at it, the job sucked, and whatever he could to bash it. And he can never shut up about how 'terrible' his life is.

Selfish people are just... blah. You can never converse with them properly. Annoyingly loud people are just plain annoying. I hate that trait so much. Maybe it's because I'm quiet in nature, but I just can't satnd it when you're in the middle of a test and you suddenly hear this really big sigh, and annoying rants when you're talking about something important w/ someone else.

*takes deep breath* I'm done ranting. Thank you.

The one thing I despise over all else is arrogance, which comes in many forms:

- Posers: Oh My Goodness! Kid posers really piss me off the most, thinking they're "all that" when they're only in like Grade 6. Boys and girls are both terrible because they boys will be all thugged out and the girls hang in their droves giggling rudely at everything and gossiping amongst themselves trying to get with the "in thing".
People who think they know stuff but don't also falls into this.
- Know-It-Alls: "Oh I can do that, don't tell me that you couldn't :O:O:O?" OKAY, not everyone is a gifted as you, who is obviously the epitomy of perfection!
- Rude people: Flat out, if you can say to someone's face seriously: "Oh man, you suck!" in a non-joking way, then you're a fucking prick. If you dislike when someone tries to be kind to you and give them what you think about it (eg. flip them off, give them a cock-eyed look), then that's just terrible.
- Ignorance: If you don't care enough to listen to what other people say, then I don't care about what you have to say. An opinion is something that not everyone in the world agrees on. Not just yours "counts".

I really hated this one kid because he'd always say stuff like: "oh I can go get the speakers from backstage and make that louder for you if you want"..."oh I know how to manipulate all the lights in the school, I could make a mass blackout if I wanted"..."oh if you want to book the stage you can ask me because I handle all that stuff"..etc. It was basically like: "Look at me, I'm on the Stage Crew 8-|" He would act all that and believe himself to be superior and in charge. He would also butt into my conversations with friends trying to be a part of them. If I was in the hall, he would and hang around and cling to me wherever I tried to go if there was no one else around and we happened to meet up. He doesn't even get the hint that I don't want him around (I know, it's rather cruel of me, but I really hated this guy for several more annoying reasons). People talk behind his back all the time and just about everyone in the school thought the same way except for the stage crew itself. We were in the same band, and he'd always be like: "<teacher>, I have this song the band could play, it's a Portuguese March"..."I can print up this sheet music for the class so that everyone can read the scales"..........and I should stop there, this sounds more like an vendetta-filled journal entry. It just so happened that this kid possessed all the traits that I happen to disliked all summed up in an annoying package.

Feel free to rip into me for being so critical and judgmental, I deserve it :(