Can I ask a question...

What if you are with someone physically incapable of having sex everyday? You love him to death and he can be really great in bed but he can't have sex all the time due to physical problems. By problems I mean really bad back problems so he's in pain all the time.

What would you do then?

I been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we have had sex less times then I can count on 2 hands and I am still with him because I love him too much...

I choose love over sex anyday but it's one of the hardest things I've done yet.

Well for one consider his feelings. It probably eats him up inside knowing he can't please you when you want all the time. It probably pains him that he can't.

But you have to do what makes you feel right. If you truly honestly feel like you love him, then I would stick it out with him. Only you can make that call though.

Well that's different, isn't it? What sex you can have is great. And, I assume, you guys have figured out ways to get around his back problems. Blow jobs and hand jobs were created for a reason, right?

I think I'm the only guy I know that really couldn't care less about sex, or physical intimacy on the whole. (Homonym pun intended, by the way). If I find the girl with whom I can connect emotionally and with whom I can converse to no end, why is there a need to connect physically? After all, the parts are always the same, just in slightly different shapes and sizes; personalities, on the other hand, are always unique. I recently confounded a more "free-wheeling" friend of mine with this logic.

Likewise, I see sex as merely a physical embodiment of love. I find the emotional expression of love to be far more important than any trifling physical expression.

Love is always more important than sex. Always.

While I agree with the poster above me to a limited extent, I think the answer to the topic question is "both".

You're kind of confounding me with your logic. My view is simply that physical attraction comes secondary to mental and personality attraction.

Case in point- there was an ad for "America's Next Top Model" last night, and although some of those girls were physically attractive, they sure as fuck didn't satisfy criteria number 2.

As for love vs. sex, I see sex as love played out between two people. Obviously in the real world, people screw for shitloads of reasons, being horny the main one, but I was never interested in having sex for the sake of it (I've had, and still have, too many male friends who go clubbing all the time, sleeping around, and wonder why they're desperately lonely and unhappy). That said, I like sex very much :)

Just on the woman who's dating the bad back guy- is there no way to 'cure' or remedy the problem? I don't mean the sexual one either!

- Spike

Your "free-wheeling" friend should've realized that sex is an expression of personality just as much as your favourite sitcom is.

Anyway, all you folks saying that personality is a factor in choosing a mate--of course! Of course you're gonna find people attractive for other reasons than their shiny hair or their C-cups. But the question is: would you rather be in love with someone who you're not attracted to and doesn't satisfy you (physically and/or mentally), or have good sex with someone you don't love (for the rest of your life)?

To me, both those prospects are pretty Goddamn depressing. I would much rather be alone.

Any reason why you're saying it has to be a girl if the physical part of the relationship and intimacy don't matter?

Oh my god, post of the year.

Holy fuck, I did not read the previous pages of this thread.. Thanks Brent, my wife and I will be laughing for hours.

Hence why I didn't get serious with a girl until I respected her, and really felt it was right.

- Spike

I love my girlfriend, couldn't live without her. I could and did live comfortably without sex before hooking up with her. It's easy as long as I have my beautiful concubine Leftina by my side. ;) Anyway, sex is just something me and the little lady do when we're bored and horny. It's fun, but I wouldn't trade all the sex with her from now till the resurrection for all the hanging out and having fun we do together... So it's love all the way for me.

I'm boring. I take the love.

Call me strange, a conservative or whatever but I can't have intercourse without love.

Fag.

Wait, that wasn't conservative was it? It was harsher.

And I also call bullshit. You can't have intercourse without love? Your dick is unable to get rigid without poetry and long term commitment? Bullshit.

Eh, you took that too literally. I feel the same way in general these days, that sex without some sort of deep feelings backing it up is just not worth it. I end up feeling guilty or just dirty afterwards. Admittedly it's been years since I've slept with anyone in such a capacity but I honestly doubt it'll somehow be better now than it was before.

Of course, theres a huge chance you were just picking on him for his choice of words and my post was entirely pointless but oh well, that's life for ya!

If it was truly a choice between the two, and there were no exceptions then I would have to choose love.

I do agree with some of the members on this site, that you need both in order for your relationship to last. You need to have that emotional connection with your special someone as much as a physical sexual connection with that person.

I kept saying to myself when I was in high school and in my early years of university that I don't need sex, I just needed to have that emotional connection to be truly satisifed. Then I eventually met my fiance and she was the first person that I had a sexual relationship with and then I realized how important sex does play in the long term stability of a relationship. I take a lot of pride that the person I lost my virginity to I'm going to marry.

Even though sex was kind of an issue in the beginning part of the relationship, we finally got our life to a point in which its stable, sometimes its tough with me being away from her at three months at a time. The sex life I have no complaints whatsoever.

If its thing I appreciate more than sex is the amount of love and respect I have for her. The emotional connection I have with her is something I truly can't explain because its just so great that me and her can have the most meaningful conversations. The love I have with her is better than what any sexual experience with her could possibly give me. Even though you need those two aspects to have a stable relationship.

As a stated if it was a choice between the two without any exceptions it would have to be love.

Sign me up for love. Having sex without love or passion, or any emotional feeling is BORING and a waste of time. Furthermore, love is what makes people feel significant.

I'd personally choose love over sex, even though sex is good :D its crap to me personally if theres no connection, passion and emotion. I've done the whole sex without feelings etc and I've got to say I didn't enjoy it half as much as I do now I'm in a serious relationship.

Well, this thread got me to thinking, so I asked my aged Mum, and got a surprising answer (to me). Here it is, as best as I can quote from memory. (This was like a month ago, methinks.)

Both. I can't love a person without physically expressing it with another. Otherwise, it would sheerly be a platonic relationship. Whether how good sex is, is a matter of perspective. One woman may find intercourse with you mind-blowing, while the other will think it's utterly terrible. It just depends on which female you do.

Additionally, I think monogamy is a farce considering that, naturally, the male's point of existence is to spread his seed to as many participants as possible.

Maybe it's because of my lack of well... any experience. But I'd have to go with love. Being that I'm 27 and have never been on a date, my interest in sex has kind of withered away. Not saying I don't want sex, but it no longer consumes my thoughts like it used to.