I never really gave this much thought actually. I kind of just lived and didn't really associate strongly with anything like that. Now you got me thinking... http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a51...atars/gonk.gif

So, just to get this straight, the dominant culture is Indonesian, your mother is Chinese-Dutch, and your father is Chinese?

It's perfectly okay and normal to be unsure of your identity. The most liberating realization for me came when I found out that I didn't have to claim one or the other. Your identity is multi-faceted, not just in terms of your nationality or ethnicity but also in terms of your place in your family, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes. If you're curious about your roots, explore them. That doesn't mean you have to subscribe to everything that the culture believes in. As a quick example, take being Chinese. There are so many different ways to be Chinese. The experience of an immigrant will be different from the experience of the child born to that immigrant. Even in China itself, the experience of a Shanghainese won't be the same as a Taiwanese won't be the same as a person from Hong Kong.

Don't be ashamed or upset by your confusion. Instead, celebrate and feed your curiosity.

My advice would be to follow your heart and do what feels right. Culture is nothing more than gang mentality, more or less. As long as you are true to your heart, just, honest, and good to people, then you should do just fine. Speak whatever language you're comfortable speaking, and behave however you like.

If your family loves you, they'll accept you. Culture, language, and other such things are superficial, and should not reflect on a person's worth as a human being, friend, or family member.

If they turn on you, then you're better off without them, but if they accept you, you can live life your own way without fear of reprisal. After all, in the end, that is freedom.

I can see where Umma is coming from. Being a minority in America, it's more often than not I see many Asians coming off as being "white" or "twinkie" or "banana" or whatever stereotype you want to slap onto them.

Assimilating into American culture isn't necessarily bad, but I don't condone it either. No matter where you go in America, people will look at you and see you as a minority. You say something and someone will go, "Oh, that's so Asian." You get an A on a test and someone will go, "That's because you're Asian." Where's your credit? You speak perfect English and the elderly look shocked. On the other hand, you speak broken Mandarin and other Asians look down on you. You can't get out of it. And no matter how hard you try, sadly, you're not going to fit in (unless it's some uber open society.) And you're not going to fit into the minority society unless you embrace your own culture. Think about it this way, how is trying to fit into the majority society any different than embracing your own? Either way, you're associating, and one is closer to home than the other.

I see both sides of the mirror. I've seen people who take great pride in who they are, and that's great and all. But at the same time, it almost seems as if they're speaking to me as if I were talking to their own parents, like they can't think for themselves. On the other hand, I see people who completely ignore their own culture, and they never associate themselves with being what they are. To me, you should at least make an effort to learn a little bit about yourself, not become someone the world doesn't see you as.

Really, it's hard being multi-cultural. Personally I tend to lean toward learning more about myself, my family, my roots, my ancestral culture. Learning more won't hurt you. Learning additional languages can only benefit you. And learning begins at home. You should take advantage that you're from such a diverse family. Learn to speak languages, at least some working knowledge in it. You will more likely regret not learning a language than learning one, and probably kicking yourself or blaming someone else for not taking advantage of the fact that you're parents are more than willing teachers.

I'm not saying to become completely immersed in one culture that it seems almost obsessive. But take a look at yourself in the mirror, and that's what everyone else sees. And that's also who you are. It's in your blood. Being ashamed of your own ethnicity seems almost as damaging as Michael Jackson's race change. There's no point in trying to deny yourself.

reading all of your posts make me glad guys. I deeply thanks for all your advice. At least I know, I'm not the only one who is being confused by this culture things. I'm determined to know the root of my family heritage, be it Chinese or Dutch.:)

once again, thanks. :)

MY culture realized itself as all japanese after making the Ghost in the Shell and Oni games. Everyone becomes so smart they go temporarily insane if they don't get their creativity out in some way over there, even if it leads them to create games like Devil Summoner, Digital Devil Saga, etc. Most animes are insane too, but at least their more entertaining than American shows. Anyway, all of my culture revolves around the video games I've written and composed for.

And why is this, precisely? I'm Ghanaian, but I sure didn't grow up in Ghana until I was nine and lived there for another nine untill I wound up back here in the US. Point being that culture isn't genetic. Culture is merely the way a group of people live, and if I didn't happen to be raised in a way that makes me think and act like a Ghanaian, I don't see the point in straining it. If people identify with a culture, they should feel proud of it and explore it as much as they like. But I think those of us who couldn't care less about the country and culture we just happened to be born to should be left alone. Why should me wanting to choose my identity in my own way be of any concern to anyone else?

@Dee: I see your point, but what about those of us who refuse to play that turf war of ethnicity? I personally don't try to sculpt my behavior to identify with any one culture, and take odds and ends that I find admirable. I'm who I am, and so I refuse to play that game of culture ownership with either side. Either you respect me as I come or you don't. I find this binary one-or-the-other thing of cultural identity and the resulting rejection if you don't belong to the right side smacking slightly of intolerance and xenophobia, neither of which I can stand.

Go with whatever your heart believes, it sounds corny i know but in reality there is nothing anyone can say or do to make you think otherwise. Just think about all your nationalities and pick one that you know/like the best. I mean, no one is saying you cannot learn to speak more than one language and practice more than one culture. What about Japanese Americans who still practice traditional Japanese customs but can still keep their American roots as well? Just don't think of it as a choice more as an opportunity, this gives you the perfect chance to learn about both ethnicity's and can learn more about yourself.