Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis - POST HERE AND I WILL TELL YOU YOUR LIFE-LONG DREAM.

dagget: You want to steam-clean the carpets in every floor of the Burj Al Arab, one by one. A boring dream? Yes. But at least you're not the guy washing the windows of the place.

Chaotic: One year, you are going to go to every cheap summertime carnival in the tri-county area, and puke on every Tilt-a-Whirl. No other rides may do. Once you've achieved this dream, you will lose all interest in eating elephant ears and coney dogs forever. This is a risk you must take.

Ryochord: You will painstakingly record every instance of a penis in Google Maps. Intentional penises only; natural ones, such as odd rock formations, need not apply. After doing a rough first pass over North America, part of Russia and the Koreas, you post your findings on a website, http://www.peniseverywhere.com, and soon a thriving community of people are out penis-hunting with you.

coeccias: For years you've been frustrated by cats who climb up trees but are unable to get down. You dedicate yourself to the cause, and eventually develop a method to teach cats how to climb down. The future generations will stand on your shoulders, a Giant among men.

Denicalis: You want desperately to build a glass city under the sea. Technology has not developed far enough to accommodate this dream, and you must satisfy yourself with building a small home within a gigantic fish tank. It really isn't the same, though.

Lap Dance: Some men are unpleased with the amount of facial hair they are capable of growing. You develop a Rogaine for mustaches. You launch Mogaine during Movember, which is appropriate, considering.

Tritoch: Raw food chef. To everybody's utter disbelief, most of all yours, your restaurant becomes a wild hit and soon you're opening restaurants in New York, Tokyo, and Moscow. A salmonella outbreak will bring your dreams crashing about your ears. I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you that last bit, but the crystal ball demands that all shall be revealed.

packrat: You're going to build an increasingly more complex maze of tunnels under your house. Eventually the earth below it will become so weak that the house will collapse; when police dig through the disaster, they will only be able to account for roughly 40% of your tunnels. The network will be so extensive that they easily reach neighboring cities.

Mo0: Breaking news reporter.

Encephalon: Two orgasms. now what.

Skills: You want to be a Transformer. One of the good kinds, the robots in disguise; not the crappy kind like this asshole.

Zerg: You know that giant burning hole in Russia? You are going to put it out. It will require all of your effort, your cunning, and your concentration, but somehow it will be put out. The resulting mine will be named after you.

Hawkeye: Luchador mask smuggling is what you've always wanted to do. It's dangerous enough to be exciting to the ladies, but benign enough that you won't run afoul of any actual criminal organizations. In fact, some of the crime bosses take a shine to you and your plucky attitude, and become some of your closest friends. The crystal ball does not say whether you will be used inadvertently as a drug mule, however.

CHz:

Quote:

<+a_ghost> CHz's lifelong dream is to create Carhenge.
<+a_ghost> Somebody else already did it, but that's not to say that he can't try anyway.
<@CHz> I changed my goal to build a Carhenge out of Carhenges.
<@CHz> Carhengehenge, if you will.

Terminus: Actually, it is! You study your entire life the secrets of time travel. Finally devising a vehicle to take you back to ancient Egypt, you find that you slightly overshot and have to have tea with Hatshepsut. It's pretty damn exciting, and she is hot for a broad wearing a fake Pharoh beard, but it's not the same. Not the same by half.

shade: You will invent a socially acceptable sock to wear with sandals. You will spend the rest of your life in hiding, as nutty will develop first a deep respect, then a mad fascination, and then finally an overwhelming obsession with you. He will eventually destroy that which he loved most.

nutty: You obstinately insist on wearing socks with sandals at every opportunity. To your delight, a fashion craze (ignited by an ingenious invention) transforms the look into not only socially acceptable, but a desirable look. Women suddenly can't get enough of you. Men look up to you as a captain of industry. You must find the man who has single-handedly changed your life and you must give him the thanks that he deserves.

RR: Death ray, actually. It surprised me too, but that's what the crystal ball says.

Shin: 20 to life. Not for white collar crime, actually; but because you engaged in homosexual frottage in Dubai.

Bernard Black: You're going to lead the restoration of a nearby ruined abbey. Initially this is for historical purposes, but once it is restored, you have the inspiration to brew beer in it. It worked for Belgium, so goddammit, it'll work for you too.

Ponbiki: You're going to win the International Zamboni Driving Championships. It's kind of strange how you started out at this; you never liked riding lawnmowers, but this was different.

Talec: You're going to be the most well-adjusted person living in a shack in the backwaters. You, like many others in this thread, never expected to be in this position. It all started because you wanted to live a greener life; that lead to living more and more off the grid, and before you know it, you're teaching reason and critical thinking to old bearded men out in the boonies. And it sticks! Domestic terrorist groups suffer the worst loss in membership in 25 years, based on your efforts. The fringe voices in politics grow dimmer by the day. Society begins to heal.

Decoy Goat: A woman finally touches your peen. It's not all it was hyped up to be.

Mersenne: You become an extreme camper. You camp on (or under!) glaciers, near volcanoes, at war zones, and in the mariana trench. Deni is furious you were able to build a structure that far down that could withstand the pressures, due to his dream of building a city under the sea, but you did not build it out of glass because that would be dumb. Anyway, you couldn't really roast marshmallows down there so it was all a bit of a wash.

Acer: You're going to bring back surrealist art. I can't wait to see your galleries.

Seris: your dream is similar to Deni's, as well. Instead of being under the sea, you're going to build a city in the treetops. Yours goes much better, but you can only support a very small population; manufacturing and high-density travel just doesn't scale well when you're living in a bunch of tree houses.