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putting up an emotional wall is the soundest decision you could make in this melancholy craphole of a world.
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For one I think you should think about building relationships again or at least try to build networks. It looks like you are needlessly a prick to everyone, even those who don't deserve it or to those who can eventually help you in the short or long run. If someone has treated you unfairly in the past, then I don't blame you for being a dick to them. But to strangers or children or friends who are nice, that's just unnecessary.
You know, saying sweeping statements like "I hate nerds" or a group of people is also something you need to think about. You might find some cool people who happen to be in a particular group or have a particular interest. Once you find one, it's easy to find more through networking. You say you're in a university, that's probably the easiest place to find people. You don't need a fricking "how to" book if you're already surrounded by people your age and with similar interests. Once you get into the workplace it'd be harder with all those middle aged people. If you want to find friends, stop being a prick. Who wants to hang around a prick? Do you? I would recommend joining some clubs or IM sports. Being a prick isn't "cool" like all the "cool" kids do in high school. Real life requires people skills, in work and in relationships. I don't believe anyone can possibly be full of hatred when they're a teenager unless they have been through some life changing experience like incestuous rape or something. Really, the most depressed and pessimistic people I've met are all baby boomer age. And they really do have reason to be. People under 25 or 30, I really don't see how their life stories can be nearly as bad as some I've heard from old people. You still have a lot of time unlike them. |
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And although I'm not completely a prick to strangers, it's just more unfriendly. There's levels in being a prick, of course. It's not that I'm amazingly rude to everyone I meet, it's more that I have amazing prejudice against entire groups of people (i.e. nerds as you pointed out) and therefore have a tendency to be distant if not cruel. Quote:
--- Argh! Although my feelings of alienation have increased, actually, since this post, I'm learning how to better mask the feeling externally, which is good.... I think. I don't know if that's good, actually, if only because we are a society who is obsessed with sharing our feelings, and I'm vaguely certain that masking feelings is bad, generally. Are there places to meet people that is not school. |
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