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Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 02:36 PM

Sorry, wht I said probably sounded too severe?
If he is assaulting her or anything at art school tonight, or anything of the sort, I will remove him from her to protect her and make sure she gets to safety, and if he turns on me, of course limited self defense.

CileGray Mar 23, 2006 04:27 PM

Ok, I didn't mean to start a fight here. I just meant... since the guy is your best friend, you should be able to talk some sense into him if he's violent with the girl...

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 04:49 PM

Surprisingly, not really. Once he gets the idea that what he did isn't wrong, there is no convincing him otherwise -_-

CileGray Mar 23, 2006 05:09 PM

Then let him know that it is indeed wrong...

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 07:02 PM

Neither her nor I were able to tell him that him shoving her into a wall hurt her physically and emotionally, and he thinks he didn't hurt her and he was right in doing it. -_-

No. Hard Pass. Mar 23, 2006 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeHah
Don't stomp him like a nigger once he's on the ground - thats excessive force and he could sue.

Anyone ever tell you that you drain all the fun out of nigger stomping, LeHah?

Misogynyst Gynecologist Mar 23, 2006 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denicalis
Anyone ever tell you that you drain all the fun out of nigger stomping, LeHah?

I aint never stomped out no spooks myself - but when I was in elementary school I did slap around a towelhead once like he was a bitch who was holding out on a roll

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devo
Here's a couple good questions:

Considering there are two sides to every story are you completely sure he did anything to her? How do you know it's not a ploy on her end? And don't give me that crap "she wouldn't lie to me." Guys who say such things obviously don't know girls well enough.

Haha, im not stupid enough to not know there are two sides. The only thing I know is true for certain is him assaulting her/shovingher into a wall at art school. Mainly because someone asked me what was happenin between those two. And I have talked to him and he has stated that he has done nothing to hurt her, and has never hurt her, mentally or physically. Yet I allso heard the assault story from her shortly after. And since I already heard it form another, unbiased source, my current viewpoint is that he seems more at fault.
She has even admitted to me that neither of them are perfect, and that she has done very minor things (like say some stuff she didn't mean during arguments and such). But he believes it's all of her fault and he has done nothing wrong.

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devo
If I've learned anything it's that relationships are far more complicated than either party "being the singular cause." The fact that she calls what she's done "minor" means she's in denial of what she has done. It takes two to tango, I'm not saying he can't be an abusive asshole, but I think she's downplaying her role in the breakup for sympathy.

She probably is. But I have seen one or two of their fights from beginning to end in art school. Always starting with her saying something jokingly, he gets offended, then is overly critical of her and get's even further annoyed by 'the tone of her voice' which is generally calm, until they start yelling.
I'm not saying that she isn't bending the truth at all. I'm just saying that from what I've seen she probably isn't bending it a hell of a lot.

Alice Mar 23, 2006 08:28 PM

OK, this guy is slamming her against walls and telling her he doesn't like the tone of her voice? This dude is a wife-beater waiting to happen. And she's allowing all this to continue? She either has no self-esteem or she's used to being abused by men (probably her own father). In either case, she's got more problems than you'd want to deal with, I can assure you.

I'd stay friends with her, because it definitely sounds like she needs a friend, but a relationship with someone who is emotionally unwell usually ends badly. At your age, is this really something you're capable of dealing with?

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 08:34 PM

Yeah, her last bf was emotionally unwell and that took her a month to get over it. Her father doesn't beat her, it's just that she still has feelings for him, though isn't really sure whether or not ot continue the relationship or not. From the looks of it it's leaning towards taking a (possibly long) break. During which I will obviously be friends with her.
And surprisingly I'm somewhat good at handling numerous things. A long time ago my father was physically abusive, to an extent, and mentally abusive to my whole family (though only physically to me). Saw a psych about that, my crohn's disease, and numerous otehr things. So although I'm not capable of probably helping her out completely, I might be able to do something for her in terms of having a physically abusive signiicant other, y'know?

Alice Mar 23, 2006 08:41 PM

You know what would be funny? It would be hilarious beyond words if the next time he shoved her up against a wall she pulled a set of brass knuckles out of her little Coach bag and beat the living shit out of him in front of God and everyone. That would teach the little scumbag to shove girls.

Aequitas Mar 23, 2006 09:07 PM

she doesn't use coach, she just uses a kipling backpack.

And as for anything else comical. I advised her if it were to happen again nailing him in the crotch would paralyze him long enough for her to slowly walk off laughing.

Tek2000 Mar 24, 2006 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devo
Women need to learn how to stand up for themselves. Get some defense classes, buy a gun, whatever just stop pussing out when your man raises his arms.

True. It's OK to defend a gal when the situation calls to it, but if she starts crying AND it's "because she still loves the guy"...it'd just get on my nerves. :lolsign:

Reznor Mar 24, 2006 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeHah
Living proof of that, baby.

Look, coming on to her now will only make her start closing herself off to you. She's in a shitty relationship now and she doesn't need a friend crawling up her ass with more feelings given the hostile "feeling" enviroment she's in now.

Drop that shit like its yellow cake. GTFO and don't look back.

You're right.

However, there is the more devious of plots, which your avatar reminds me of someone who would do.

Slightly poison the well and keep poisoning more and more each time.
She's fragile right now... If you're as pussy as you come off... Poison that well... take advantage of it... She talks about the problems in the relationship, tell her you understand how she feels but you don't see why someone who "loves" you would do the things he does. Point them out. Poison that shit like it's Kool Aid, baby.

Double Post:
Quote:

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland
OK, this guy is slamming her against walls and telling her he doesn't like the tone of her voice? This dude is a wife-beater waiting to happen. And she's allowing all this to continue? She either has no self-esteem or she's used to being abused by men (probably her own father). In either case, she's got more problems than you'd want to deal with, I can assure you.

I'd stay friends with her, because it definitely sounds like she needs a friend, but a relationship with someone who is emotionally unwell usually ends badly. At your age, is this really something you're capable of dealing with?

Alice is right.

Damaged goods are NO GOOD.

Aequitas Apr 1, 2006 02:46 PM

She's currently broken up with him (most likely for good now) and he refuses to talk to her and she is fed up with him and such.

My current idea is to wait until I can see that she is getting / already is over him then start to make a move. Would that be the best course of actions?

Aequitas Apr 2, 2006 10:28 PM

Any advice in what to do from here on out in terms of flirting/asking her out and timing and such? I've always sucked at it and have it blown up in my face.

Dopefish Apr 2, 2006 10:44 PM

Invite her out to coffee or something. If you do, converse about something other than her shitty relationship. Take it slow and easy (don't flirt unless she's playing hardball) and just try to make her comfortable with you.

I poked it and it made a sad sound Apr 2, 2006 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dopefish
Invite her out to coffee or something. If you do, converse about something other than her shitty relationship. Take it slow and easy (don't flirt unless she's playing hardball) and just try to make her comfortable with you.

Moreover, if the girl flirts you with, tread with care. She's not all there.

Alice and LeHah are both right about damaged goods. Allow me to add my two cents.

The girl broke up with the bloke - all fine and good. But any woman who ALLOWS a man to shove her against a wall and runs off crying deserves what she gets.

Yea, yea, emotional pain yadda yadda. A man strikes me, I it him back twice as fucking hard. (And yea, I know I am a crazy shehulk bitch, but really).

Whats worse is that she (and others) decided to talk about this. I don't get this mentality at all. It's like she's LOOKING for pity. And man, I may be wrong on this one, but these women are the sorts that you should RUN FROM. As fast as you fucking can.

Dopefish Apr 2, 2006 10:56 PM

Sass, you don't seem to like the "I'd like to talk to someone about my emotional pain" mentality of certain people. I've asked you this before, but would you rather people supress it? Some people can't handle that very well.

I poked it and it made a sad sound Apr 2, 2006 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dopefish
Sass, you don't seem to like the "I'd like to talk to someone about my emotional pain" mentality of certain people. I've asked you this before, but would you rather people supress it? Some people can't handle that very well.

The hell are you referring to, precisely. I need some clarification.

Dopefish Apr 2, 2006 11:11 PM

You-know-who.


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