People tend to usually talk when they have reasons to talk. I suck at talking to people too, if they aren't into sports, movies, games, current events, and some other stuff. That isn't necessarily bad though. You don't have to be good at talking to people, as long as you are polite and courteous. Then if your conversations are boring, they are boring. The blame goes 50/50 because if the person isn't into what you are into, then that isn't your problem.

For example: if you aren't into politics and some guy wants to talk politics, then that may be boring to you and not to him, and if you like sports and he doesn't then that may be boring for him and not to you.

That is why I usually let the other person initiate the convo. The person who initiates it sort of has responsibility for how the conversation goes because he started it.

As for the alcohol. I don't believe in it for this type of thing. I am never for relying on something as a crutch, because you will need to face the demons sooner or later.

I usually just try to be funny when you feel a bad conversation coming. Out of all the people I know I'm labeled as the comedian, so I can be funny when need be.

Given that this is the first thing you've ever said that I've laughed at, I can only assume that your friend group is made up entirely of FOX network executives.

Conversation is easy. You smile a little, lock your eyes on theirs so they know you're entirely focused on them, laugh at their jokes and look interested. People are selfish and want to talk about themselves. Let that happen and you're money.

Worst thing you can do is think about it too much which I'm guessing you are, probably why so many people are saying alcohol is that tends to eliminate the over thinking problem and loosen people up. The best thing to do is find a common interest then from that ask more basic questions about them as things go on, but most importantly look interested through body language! (see previous post for tips on that)

Well I'd hope you didn't find anything I've said on here funny, because I never try to be funny on here. I'm a very serious person online. In person I'm half serious, half a goof. Usually online, people try to be overly witty and to me it isn't funny at all. I stay away from that whole game. It is hard to project humor through the internet.

See, unlike most people in this thread, I'm a fucking goof.

I have no problem talking to random people.

Blah blah. Alcohol. Blah blah. Practice. Blah blah.

All of that shit, is complete garbage. People are essentially like women, in the end. Which is to say, confidence sharks. If you're not confident, you're going nowhere.

Everybody looks at the negative side of it all. "THAT PERSON THINKS IM A FREAK NOW." Who really gives two shits? You probably won't ever see them again.

The worst thing you can do is to NOT try.

Usually you can gauge how friendly someone is if you just make a random comment. If you're waiting for a place to open/waiting in line, you can always ask someone, "Does it usually take this long?" and then their response can be used to gauge their friendliness. If they're like "I don't know, really" you can just be all "So you don't usually shop here/whatever?" and let the conversation go from there.

As Deni said, people are only interested in themselves. But you have to know how to pry that open without prying.

This works wonders for meeting random women too.

Personally, I don't care to talk to random people that much. I'm an introvert so I actually LIKE to keep to myself most of the time unless I have something to say. I won't mind if some random person starts talking to me, though.

By the way Dragoon, good thinking - Internet gaming-nerd forums = serious business.

So not true. You CAN shoot the bull with someone that takes more from the conversation than what they give to it.

Advice: Um, be yourself. Rather than being generic, you are instead burdened by the unexcapable distinction that comes from being the only gene-experience combination like you that will ever exist. So then, you're original without even trying. While we all are, thankfully there are enough boring ones that play up to societal norms for you to stand out if you just acted like yourself.

Motivational speech over. What does this actually mean? Well, if you have anything interesting/unique that comes to mind, say it, but of course, tailor it to fit the situation. Hopefully, you're good enough with words to package your thoughts neatly and attractively, if not work on it. Then, I guarantee you problem solved. Anything you say into an awkward silence will be golden. It's a bit like jazz; it doesn't matter what tune you start with, it's how you improvise over it.

Not everyone is worth the effort, but at that point how and who you decide to talk to is up to you.

Edit: Dragoon and Fox TV owned like hell by the same sentence, dyamn.

A conversation takes two people, genius. How else could you communicate?

If you were the one doing all the talking then you'd be talking to them, not holding a conversation.

Get it?

I also find myself aflutter when trying to make small conversation, especially as I grow older.
I try to hide the fact that I simply don't care about socializing for its own sake, unless there is some kind of point behind it. I am a bit calculating in that way, and I think normally people are a bit offended by this... perhaps they should be. I don't talk just to talk and would rather make better use of my time doing something more productive.

Yes, because standing in a line with your thumb in your ass is oh so much more productive. Who the fuck are you trying to fool?

I can't speak for anyone else here, but someone calculating is kind of fucking creepy. The fact that you don't even like to socialize and you pretty much proving you're anti-social leads me to believe you're a sociopath or a psychopath, one or the other.

Better to have my thumb up my ass than up your ass, right? ;) I am perfectly fine with being attentive when going over my own thoughts. I don't feel the NEED to present them to the world unnecessarily and I don't NEED to talk to strangers about small minded things in order to pass time.

Since you seem so very interested, I am very warm with close friends but not very trusting to people in general. There you have it.

If that makes me a psychopath, then it makes you a yeasty blabbering stain who doesn't know the first thing about people. Go about engaging in idle chitchat all you want, just don't think that it makes you any saner/less sane because of it. ;)

RainMan, I recommend you edit your post and add more ;) there's seems to be a shortage and takes away some umphf, do you understand?

Also Reznor, I would highly suggest backing down. RainMan is both silent and deadly.

Talking with strangers is actually a pretty good skill to develop, since if you're interested in networking with people and opening up more career/travel/whatever opportunities for yourself. Not that everyone feels that's an important thing to do, but there's no reason for you to seem like you're looking down at other people that enjoy doing it.

I agree. Its something that I am continually working on but this is quite different than talking without an ultimate sense of purpose.

Look down on others? No. I didn't say that. I was defending myself from the claim that quiet people are psychotic, which is a tard-like prognosis. I said that I don't enjoy making small talk. I am not sure how you came to the conclusion that I looked down upon anyone for doing anything. ;)

If you think that the reason for the comment was solely based on you being quiet, you're the one who's tard-like. I can only imagine that he came about the conclusion that you look down on people because of the way you present yourself. You present yourself like an arrogant cock, but instead of being a cock, you come off more like this psuedo-arrogant vagina.

Learn to read between the lines, dude, that's all I can say.

I am sorry, but that is not entirely convincing. I think you're a complete moron. Nothing personal.

I've stated that I am cautious and methodical when making conversation. You stated that this would constitute similar behavior akin to being psychotic or irrational. Tell me, does this fall within your own thoughts of psychotic behavior or some objective principle?

What the hell would you know?

? I don't know how to respond to this, so I won't.

I'd advise you to learn a bit more about people before coming to a definitive and rather unqualified assumption.

I'll take you at your word.

You know, the best way to get better at just talking to people is to get a job where you're in that setting. Once I got a job bagging groceries, it was cake. Practice on the chatty old ladies.

Oh, and alcohol.

I know this topic is old, but it came up in a Google search. I just wanted to say to the OP, if he is still here, *I feel your pain.* I can be witty, talkative, funny, smooth, or anything else if there is a *pretext,* but barring that, I don't know what to say and have nothing to say. The only things I can think of are like "man, these bar glasses are... nice," and that is obviously retarded. When it comes down to it though, there is no problem with me. I just literally don't care about shooting the **** and letting the person's words go in one ear and out the other.

Luckily, when you have a girlfriend you really don't need nor desire to go out socializing much.