I spilled a glass of milk at the age of six. Plastic cup, tiled floor. No big deal.

My mother, however, is probably the most literal person on the planet. Beaten on the ass with a wooden spoon and sent to my room for the rest of the weekend as a result of "don't cry over spilt milk".

Times have changed significantly, though. Over Christmas I'd been drinking copious amounts of scotch (nobody else on the tour we were on wanted theirs, so hey, give it to the bored sixteen-year-old to brighten his day!). Went inside and I wound up spilling a glass of mulled wine all over my mother's shoes and she was like "oh you are quite clumsy" and left it at that. I am so great.

Did you cry after the milk spilt and before your Mother punished you or after?

Before. She was yelling. And scary. :(