Ahh but first impressions are VERY important. You don't want to come off as some guy without a backbone.

Listen to russ. He knows what he's talking about. Girls do not prefer a nervous guy to a cocky one. Confidence is the most attractive trait a guy can have, and if you two don't know each other, all she has to go on is that first impression.

Nervousness is not attractive. Really it isn't.

Yeha, you want to show some backbone. Are you a funny guy? I know alot of girls like guys that can make them laugh, not a complete joker at all times. Girls really don't know what they want b/c they want a little bit of everything which worked for me b/c I'm a bit of a "Jack of All Trades"

Damn right. Show some backbone! You march right up to her and ask if she would be interested in a game of AD&D or her thoughts on last week's SciFriday! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. In all honesty I'm pretty much the same way you are Smoodle. Try to find some common ground on which you can formulate a conversation and then just be natural around her and let it all randomly sort out.

Hmm. I see what you mean about not wanting to be perceived as "cocky" but like Russ said, there's a middle ground. I'd prefer to aim for "assertive" and "self-assured" rather than cocky. If you mumble and mince your words when you approach a girl, she's going to see straight through to the reasons why. Even if she's wrong about those reasons, she may make assumptions about the rest of your character based on your initial approach, probably not favourable ones either.

Without wanting to sound like egomaniac (because I REALLY am not, trust me) I feel that I exude a certain level of confidence (at least when i'm having a good day) and the difference it has on everyone is just amazing. It was a hard thing to learn and I learned it late but now that i'm finally comfortable with who I am, it's great.

It's perhaps a cliche but once you like yourself and are comfortable with that, you can really get people to warm to you.

There's a huge difference between cockiness and arrogance.

Cockiness just means you're good at what you do. Arrogance means you're a dick.

Come on, get real.

To be honest, the best thing you can do is be yourself.

If a girl doesn't like you... RAPE HER. No, seriously. Rape Her. Anyway, if she doesn't like you for who you are... whether it be shy or what not, then obviously she's never going to like you. Why pretend you're self-assured if you're not? Just do what feels right to you.

Don't put on some phony act, don't act like you're someone you're not. That's even worse than being unattractive.

The only reason why girls like me is because, A) I'm a dick, B) I'm "mysterious" (this translates to "He's quiet.") and C) Because I CAN be a sweetheart.

That might be the funniest thing that I have read all day.

As far as the nervousness thing goes, if you are meeting a girl for the first time and you're coming off as being really nervous about talking to her, most of the time, she will not be thinking to herself "aww how cute he's nervous". She will be thinking something closer to "what the heck is this guy's problem, why can't he form a complete sentence". That usually won't get you very far, unless you're just extremely good looking.

Reznub: I'm convinced it is your propensity to reward rejection with sexual assult that makes you so utterly irresistible.

GTFO n00b.

If you look anything like your avatar, there is no help for you, short of plastic surgery. It looks like your mother fucked a walrus.

Hey, fuck you, that is me. But I'm making a face.

ignore lehah, he's just like that. But yeah, show some back bone.