I quickly took off my cloak, which had the oil all over it, and threw it to the ground. I extinguished the rest of the flames on me and dressed them as well as I could.

The elf was apparently able to comprehend the doors, and was reading them to the rest of us, but made no sense whatsoever. Who in their right mind would write such things on doors and what purpose did this room have? Other than to ruin my new cloak. I was, however, glad I had found it. It saved the rest of my clothes from being burnt to smithereens. It was fodder, now, though.

The elf pointed at the south door. How in the bloody hell he could know which way was south was beyond me, but I wasn't going to be the pig to prance around through doors, not after that last one, which still had the big man trapped inside it.

STOP, ROCK N' ROLL, NIGGA!@
2 healing surges, plz.

Argumentus is enamored by the wall of flame.

"OOH! Fire pretty!"

He claps and giggles freely.

The southern door is pulled open, and a great rumbling sounds from deep within the walls. The doorway opens onto a steeply ascending ramp, via which a large boulder is rapidly descending onto the party.

Both Scary Bob and Motsognir are in the boulder's direct path, but their reflexes allow them to dodge out of the way. The boulder smashes to a halt against the northern door.

The wind of the boulder's passing snuffs out the fire.

Fescue's HP 23/4

The Dwarf wandered over and picked up his rope and throwing hammer, stowing them both after the boulder had rolled past. It reminded him of when he'd gone traipsing through that cave shrine with his cousin, Alfredrock Molinashield. Sure he'd turned traitor at the end, but it had been a rollicking good time while it lasted.

"Well, it wasn't the south door." He glanced at the mage as he brushed dust off his chest. "Care to take a stab at reading the westernmost runes?"

As he said this, he stepped out of the way of any direct lines from door to door.

Beware, not all of the doors are honest. The north door speaks the truth, unless it is the safest door.

I think we can safely assume Shin would acquiesce to reading it, let's keep it rolling

The dwarf shook his head and trounced up to the north door, gripping the holy symbol in his hand he looked around and gauged he had a one in two chance of getting this right. Though NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS etc... With a shrug he shoved the door open with the intention of pulling the lever. Kord favours the brave.

Attempts to pull open the north door are stymied by the presence of a big ol' rock right in front of it.

The dwarf rubbed his chin as he looked at the giant stone boulder. How could he not have seen that? It's almost as if for a brief moment, someone controlling his every action had forgotten how to FUCKING READ. He then promptly glanced at a crumbling bit of wall next to the door and noted it was a fourth wall. He wasn't sure why that was significant, but he imagined if he understood that, he'd have a very good grasp on the universe indeed. He stared for a while at the problem, frustrated by the weight of the thing and noting how it stuck firmly in place in the precise way a passing cloud didn't. With a shrug, he promptly got back about his business.

"Right then. Who wants to lay even odds that the door currently behind the big stone monument to the just-pull-whatever-lever-you-want approach is the one we need?"

He looked around for something to offer some leverage and settled on Argumentus.

"You there, lad. Care to give us a hand in shuffling this giant ball of stone away from where we need to be?" He mused to himself that if their combined strength wasn't good enough, they could always find something borderline useless and jam it under the rock to pry the thing out of the way. The rogue would do nicely.

"Yeh, Argumentus play ball."

Argumentus attempts a feat of strength by moving the boulder.

With a mighty heave, the two warriors manage to roll the errant stone out of the doorway. Proceeding to open the door as he originally intended, Gabriel reveals a brief corridor opening onto a larger chamber. From his vantage point in the doorway he can see several motionless bodies under a dim and flickering light.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/map22a.png

Now that we were done playing "Get Ourselves Killed By Random Trap Doors", I decided to move on ahead, once again, while the group stood slack-jawed and open-mouthed.

Sneak (stealth?) into next room, carefully.
Please roll to check for any more traps. Or monsters.

Hmm, so maybe I was wrong about the southern door after all. The dwarf and human had rolled the boulder aside, revealing a corridor and a load of bodies. Experience had taught me that piles of bodies were often a bad omen so rather than rush into the new corridor, I investigated the southern route, looking to see if the slope was climbable and what was at the top of it.

The dwarf glanced up into the flickering light and sucked air through his lips, creating a quiet whistle. "Well now, doesn't tha' just bode especially well for our travels, eh lads?" He slapped Argumentus on the back and chuckled. "Kord smiles on us, Abnormally Large Human. Looks like we'll get to kill yet something else 'fore the day is done, eh?"

He pulled the holy symbol from around his wrist and slid it against his chest under the chainmail, keeping it pressed against his body, just below his neck as he took a few steps forward and readied his hammer and shield, keeping his senses tuned on the walls around him and the room in front of him. The smell of blood hung in the air like the foul stench of failure around an elf trying to find his way through a cave. Surely, there was the work of some foul good afoot here.

Fescue creeps stealthily into the chamber ahead. This granite room is about 35 feet square, with a dizzying high ceiling. A single brazier flickers in the northwest corner, providing only low light to the room; the thief cannot make out many details. Dominating the center of the area, of course, is the grisly heap of corpses. The stench of decay is overwhelming. Something vaguely human-shaped crawls about the bodies, occasionally producing a tearing sound. Something creaks in the ceiling high above, and the creature's dinner is interrupted by a tortured scream. A flailing body falls through the still air and smashes into the floor. The creature abandons its meal and instantly lunges for the fresh new addition, who can do nothing but moan helplessly. The creature doesn't seem to notice the rogue's intrusion — yet.

--

Bob carefully walks up the steep ramp that discharged the boulder. At the top of the ramp lies a large spring-loaded panel, presumably designed to push the boulder out. Just behind the panel, however, is a skeleton in the unmistakable uniform of the Amalgamated Union of Trapsmiths. The skull is caved in; he was probably killed to protect the secret of the very trap he helped to construct. This is a common occupational hazard in trapsmith work.

His tools are scattered all around, and his uniform is still remarkably intact.

--

Gabriel steps up behind the human. The sunrod in his beard pours light into the room ahead and starkly backlights the rogue, ruining his attempt at stealth entirely. The creature, its cadaver-grey flesh now totally and horribly visible, turns toward the doorway, and lunges at Fescue — and falls short. A long and rusty chain bolted onto the east wall leads to a manacle around the monster's ankle, and its long claws and needle-sharp teeth snap uselessly at the air as it strains against its leash.

Gabriel's religious training identifies this horror as a ghoul, the undead result of a curse placed on cannibals by the very gods. Ghouls care about nothing but the opportunity to devour flesh — and living flesh is much preferred. Regardless, it's not much of a threat so long as one stays out of reach.

Wide wooden double-doors lead to the north and the west.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/map23.png

"WATCH WHERE YOU WALK!" I harshly scolded the dwarf, though not too loudly, as I didn't know what else I could bring attention to us.
"Since you know what it is, why don't you go take care of it?" Obviously my pride was still bruised from being beaten and burnt and broken for the past day.

Look up. Inspect doors. Also, I'm thirsty.

The sheer walls of the room arch upward without end, vanishing into darkness beyond the sunrod's limited range. Whatever entrance these unfortunates are being tossed into is well out of reach.

Fescue cautiously edges around the west side of the room and examines the doors there. These doors are severely dry-rotted, and badly scorched to boot. The only thing keeping these ruined doors shut is a wooden stud nailed between them. It's impossible to reach the north doors while still keeping away from the ghoul, but they seem to be in much better condition — almost new.

The dwarf snarled at the rogue and produced his holy symbol from under his mail shirt, exposing it to the creature and taking a half-step back.

"You joke now, son, but you won't be joking when that thing leaves you a quivering mess on the dungeon floor." He tightened his grip on the warhammer, staring at the unclean thing before him. "The accursed eaters of the dead. The damned. A ghoul."

He stared at the thing's chain and noticed it attached to the far wall, he looked up above, hoping his lowlight vision would come in handy and let him see where this disposal unit had its beginnings.

"No point sneaking with it anyway, son. Those things can see in the dark. They can see your soul. If a ghoul looks like it can't see you, it's a trick." He looked pointedly at him and rested his warhammer on the ground for a moment. "Get an axe."

Even the sharp eyes of a dwarf make out nothing other than the dim square outline of a hatch against the gritty stone, some 120 feet up.

Oh yeah, and 100XP x5 for the puzzle room, forgot to mention

The dwarf muttered under his breath and gripped his holy symbol, muttering under his breath: "Thank Kord whatever we did wasn't a felony warranting the ghoul pit. Small favours." His attention was then brought back by the snapping creature in center of the room and he sighed under his breath.

"Right, well I vote those of us with the talent hit that thing from well far away and keep away from those claws." Normally the dwarf would be the first to lunge into battle with man or beast, but this thing was neither. It was an abomination. Best to put it out of its misery.

"And what would an axe do?" I asked the dwarf, not knowing what he was plotting, while readying my weapon to sink some bolts into the hide of the beast...

Shoot arrows at ghoul until it's dead...or something ridiculous happens.

Motsognir, desperate to contribute something after not-helping-at-all in the puzzle room, walks to range and tosses a throwing hammer at the fiend.

"What's an axe going to do?" The dwarf looked at the rogue like he was an idiot child. "One would imagine an axe would do to a ghoul what it does to everything else, wouldn't you?"

Fescue's first bolt bounces off the monster's leathery hide.

So does the second one.

And the third one.

And the fourth one.

And Motsognir's hammer!

But the fifth bolt flies straight into the ghoul's open jaws, thumping into the soft palate. The creature emits an earsplitting howl before snapping the bolt with its teeth.

8 damage

The northern door flies open, and a bald human in voluminous robes looks upon the scene with an alarmed expression that quickly shifts to disgust.

"Oh, look at this. You think you're awfully clever, don't you, tormenting a poor trapped animal. It's not sporting at all, is it? Thrice-damned hooligans. Oh, yes, let's just hop down a random hole in the ground! Let's have an adventure! Let's destroy other people's property!"

He rifles through his pockets, producing a wand. Taking careful aim, the mage fires a ray of frost onto the already-battered manacle on the ghoul's ankle. The brittle metal begins to fracture under the creature's persistent straining.

"Edwin! Gareth! Put down your mugs, boys. We've got trespassers."

The thud of heavy boots comes from the north.



Initiative: Fescue 19, Bob 19, Gabriel 19, Motsognir 16, Ghoul 9, Argumentus 9, Mage 6

MAP:

The dwarf sighed and brought his hammer up into his hands, muttering his thanks to Kord for yet again letting him test his mettle in the heat of combat. Truly, the lord of war was smiling on him lately. Though his favour often came in the most mysteriously irritating ways. A ghoul. Oh, but this would be -lovely-.

The blood began to swell in my temple. Another person that wants me dead, today. I almost wanted to die myself, but then figured that I wouldn't look quite as good dead as some of the others lying on the floor.

"Call the others, mates. Unless, that is, they want to die on their lonesome."

Move up-right twice, up thrice.
Quick-draw short sword.
First Strike w/ Torturous Strike @ Mage.
Die, fucker.