Post 3246 and 3247 were so damn amusing, I spent like 2 minutes laughing.

Skills, you owe me a new monitor.

I'm so glad Pang decided to just add windows instead of saying they were painted on like a wall mural for aesthetics.

_______

Psst Pang, now that the book is irretrievable, what WAS it? :)

It WAS a ritual book of Undead Servitor.

Huh, I guess it really WAS a foul book. That teaches you to make zombie butlers and stuffs.

Glock was right all along. Who knew?

Aw, but I guess subservient zombies aren't as fun as wild zombies for Gordok.

If you chumps haven't done something other than stand around idly strategizing by tomorrow it's Beholder Comes Out Of Fucking Nowhere time

I did something! =D

=O

I'm doing something! I'm doing something! It's the rest of these guys who're just standing around throwing/doing things at windows that don't face the bridge :tpg:

No evil floating demonic eyes in Final Fantasy please, oh wise, kind, gentle, and MERCIFUL DM!

----------------------

Also, in another retcon, I totally just picked up Delic's light shield and the other provisions mentioned prior, because I recalculated the encumbrance and the overall weight seemed to have been overstated by 18 pounds :)

Beholders aren't from Final Fantasy.

To be honest, I'm waiting for Zerg to do something, he seems to have at least half an idea of what he wants to do, I'm just waiting for him to fully realize it.

I did lay down what I wanted to do in this post. Just waiting for the rest of you to either agree with it or propose some other course of action :tpg:

Anyway, if that's what you folks are waiting for, here is my plan:

1. Find out where the bolts are coming from. Already doing this.
2. Blind them with Garrmondo's firebombs in conjunction with Gordok's pyrotechnics.
3. Turtle up and run past the bridge farthest away from the archers. Actually, if Pang agrees to give us superior cover due to table + shield, just chaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge.
4. Epic battle. I'd like to make sure that (1) no duergar escapes and (2) at least 1 duergar is left alive for me to harvest beard quills from us to interrogate.

Oh, and a question for readied actions, for the experienced players. How long is a readied action effective? For example, if I ready an action to shoot at anyone who tries to retreat, will it trigger seven rounds later?

Gygax is rolling in his grave, Zerg.

I can't help it if my first exposure to role-playing games is Final Fantasy :(

In fairness half the core Final Fantasy bestiary is the 1E monster manual with the serials filed off, not everybody's going to realize that an Otyugh and NAOCHO are the same thing.

And a readied action only stays "readied" until your next turn.

Additional Spam:
You guys just went along with whatever Zerg suggested so you can blame him when it goes tits-up, admit it

So do I have to treat those ballistas as enemies/obstacles, or can I just occupy their square like a table?

I guess what I'm really asking is if I have to hack them apart just to get to the juicier crossbowmen.

They are enemies and technically living things (sort of) so you cannot occupy their squares :(

Good hits there Skex. However....

I have a plan that I'm working with Skills on. He hasn't given me reply yet but should everything work out I'd really appreciate if you guys would use long-range attacks for the meantime. Zerg, use your bow. Garr, heal up. Now that Skex is in the zone where this plan will all go down he will need to be pulled back one space with Skills' Virtue of Cunning.

Should everything go right this battle will become much much easier.

You bet your ass, son.

If this shit works it's going to be Stepladder Hop '09

I'm gonna post my turn. I know Zerg goes before me but please do not go into AE -4 or AE -5. It's part of the plan. Basically, I'd just stay where you currently are and use your bow (preferably at the guards in the back).

Also, I've given Skills permission to do my attack rolls when his turn comes. This ought to be nice. =)

Aye aye, folks. Cal ain't going nowhere. His melee attack sucks anyway.

I look forward to armadillo bowling time!

Let the record show I first posted my plan 5 days ago, for correction and discussion :(

Can someone explain to me the persistent notion that going prone is somehow helpful in firing a longbow

Especially now that he threw out a perfectly good longsword in favor of a specialized weapon that sounded fancier. :333:

You know what, longbow while prone does sound ridiculous ... although I do that for defense and not offense. But eh, I got a couple of meatshields in front, so :tpg:

Edited.

Bah, that was a cheap-ass longsword anyhoo. I was referring to my character's piss-poor strength stat. Now if there are any melee attacks that use dexterity... :3:

Also, a question. What kind of checks do we make if we want to pick up opponents and toss them over the bridge?

There are melee attacks that use dexterity. next time you level up you can probably learn one, seeing as you're a ranger.

EDIT: also, Zerg, 1+2+7 is 10, not 9.

Well, you can either make a grab attempt and drag them over the abyss, or you can just bull rush them. Both of these things rely heavily on Strength, though. The rules for Grab are a little complex to sum up but read PHB p. 287 if you're curious.

Dang. I was hoping an acrobatics check would also qualify. :p

So, what DC number do we have to surpass to get a successful bull rush with these opponents? Or is that a DM secret? :)

Theurge. Mistress of the Dark Arts. I don't like the sound of that.

It's a strength vs. reflex attack. I gave you their reflex stats already.

DM Secrets: now in the PHB