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map car man words telling me to do things's Journal

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Sep 1, 2020 - 03:44 PM
acer is still a madman
Response to: Acer is a madman by map car man words telling me to do things

SIX YEARS LATER

I receive a gigantic package that by some miracle does not get stuck in customs.

Though they did not deliver it to my door, I had to go to my local post office to pick it up.



A package I barely get home with help from my parents and their car

What could be inside?


SCISSORS WILL TELL




A ransom note, eh. Well, we'll just have to disagree on those horns, buddy. There's no such thing as too big horns. If anything's too big, it's this box!



Empty packing, ehhh. You may have fooled customs, but you're not fooling me. Why this box is full of..!



HMMMMMMM

maybe it is empty packing after all...



I will accept this gift.



Wait a minute, there's a ton of cardboard here! I've already been fooled! Like customs!



What is this tube? This looks like gun rifling! An assassination attempt!



Why, it ejected a poster! A Gravity Falls poster! Two of them!



Well I barely survived that attack, I wonder if I should look any further.



Why it's a box of bubblewrap! Surely this isn't a bullet!



Why it's an ACTUAL box of bubblewrap! Safety first! This is a strangely safe bullet if it is one!



Now hold on a minute, this isn't a box of bubble wrap at all! This is a figma statue!

!

This is a present!



A PRESENT



Look at this, this envelope of bubblewrap is already displaying its contents. Also not a bullet!



No, this isn't bubblewrap either! These look like fabric!



Man's first video game! It's a history lesson! Also not a bullet!





Yes yes, from stone age, to ghosts, to pirates! It's a history of our kind! At world's end! Pretty grim. These are rad though! I love the ghosts!



No, wait? More history lessons?



Yes, after pirates, there came music! And Bryan Lee O'Malley!



Then the space age! Exploration! Discovery! Bullets!



And then back to video games after eons! I know this one, it's that french series! Dofus? Wakfu?



Oh, it is Wakfu!

Presents!

For me!

Not bullets!

ACER

OH NO

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

THERE ARE SO MANY OF THESE



A secret code! Encryption!

We will get to the bottom of th-



WHAT THE HELL ACER

oh no

oh no look at this

it's a choose your own adventure gravity falls book

acer oh no acer

look at how cool this is



wait there's more in here

ohh nooo



oh my god acer legends of localization for earthbound

I've always wanted to read this and never got around to ordering from fangamer because of shipping and everything

ohhh nooo acer this is so cool

wait



ohhhh my god acer nooo

It's Journal #3

This is so cool oh my god



ohhh man it's got stanford's notes about everything



I guess some of this has to be Dipper's writing and Mabel's art? sometimes?



ohh nooo I love this

I always wanted one of these ohhh noo acerrrr



OHHHH NOOOOOOO there's more oh no

It's the graphic novel and a portable black light?

I think it'll reveal stuff in the journal?



ohhhh nooo look at this art

oh no acer i love thisssss





acer this is too much

thank you so much oh no

oh no acer



ohhh noo I still have more to open

why are there so many of these acer



wait what the hell is this



it comes with stan bucks!

score!



and a whopping -12 quentin trembley bux!



what is thiiisssss

it comes with real string and everything

carefully open it



what isssss thissssss

acer



wait wait what the hell

acer

wh





GAAAASPPPPP

oh my god acer

this is like the super rare collector's edition version of Journal 3

ohhh my god acer

they made like 10000 of these or something

ACER WHY DID YOU GIVE ME BOTH OH NO ACER



ohhhh maaannn look at this

This is 5127 out of 10.000

the highlights letter spell "lucky you"!

ACER

how do i

oh no acer this is too much



they have like PHYSICAL photos and notes and stuff attached to the pages

this is so meticulous



I'm guessing THIS book is what the black light is for



acerrrrrrr





acer this is too much

I love this so much but jesus



m-more codes

why are there still so many of these

acer



ohhh noo acer what is this

there's so many



ohhhh what is this

it's something super rad isn't it



ohhh nooooo acer you didn't

it's the Wanderer's Journal and awesome papercraft

acerrrrrr

you know I love Hollow Knight oh noooo



wait no what the fffff

acerrrrrrr

this is too much oh my god

I always dreamed of getting these but told myself not to because so many reasons ohhh my god

acer noooo

look at these



oh god there's more

Undertale artbook? That looks like the Double Fine Adventure documentary they made about making Broken Age

and a super beautiful Hollow Knight pin



ohhhh it includes the game too

god this is so nice



and there's a.. sticker? a card

SOMETHING WITH GORGEOUS HK ART



ohhhh nooo these were in an envelope toooo

acerrrr



I love these they're so cute are you kidding me

acer





ACER



nono no what is this

acer my heart can't take this anymore

there's too much



OOHHHNOOOOO acerrr



oh my god

I love gravity falls so much, but I didn't order this when it was coming out because I told myself I shouldn't because it's Region A and shipping and customs would kill me and maybe they'll release a Region B version but they never did and by then it was too late to try to get one unless you went to scalpers



now i have one

thanks to you again acer

ACER

;____;



acerrrrrr

thank you so much, this is WAY too much




ohhnooo nonono acer no acer

oh noo the first volume of the legends of localizations



is this what the passports came with?

ohhh nooo




acerrrr

it's like everything from all three games



and it comes with a little envelope with more art







nooo there's still more

acer



ohhh nooo it's like every book and game and gorgeous anything I've ever wanted

fucking dragon's dogma and Darkstalkers are you kidding meeee

this witcher book is so nice, it goes so well with my world of cyberpunk book now oh god

acer

this is

so

much

thank you ;____;

I already told you I'm flabbergasted this thing made it through customs but I'm also horrified how much shipping you paid for all of this

this is so many birthday and christmas presents

thank you so much ohhh nooo



Lucina is amazing she's already on my shelf



Alphonse and Brocken and Griffin and Tali and the amiibos are happy to have her



Acerrrrrrrr


Give Props For This Entry (Quality Entry) [7] Edit this entry Delete this entry Comment on this entry (6 haibane)
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[public entry #742]

Dec 31, 2019 - 09:08 PM
Games of 2019 + The Qwarky Awards
Response to: Games of the Year 2018 + AWARDS by map car man words telling me to do things

Another year, another game. Always game. Sometimes game. It was a year of back pains and trouble sitting for long periods of time, so there was a longish gap in playing anything when all I could do is lay down and read books. It mostly showed in me not playing particularly long games this year, but that's been a growing trend for me for several years now. I just don't have the attention span for 100 hour RPGs and open world extravaganzas anymore. Anyway. GAMES

Games I started before 2018 and only finished last year:

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

Games I started and finished last year:

The Hong Kong Massacre
Resident Evil 2 (2019)
Gato Roboto
Draugen
Observation
My Friend Pedro
Pikuniku
Wolfenstein: Youngblood
Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon (true ending)
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (true ending)
Control
A Plague Tale: Innocence
Mortal Kombat 11 (story mode)
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (replay)
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order
Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (2019)
Untitled Goose Game
Gears of War: Judgment (main campaign + aftermath)
Gears of War 4
Gears 5
Outer Wilds
Sayonara Wild Hearts
What the Golf?
Afterparty
Knights and Bikes
Rain of Reflections: Chapter 1
Haydee (all 3 endings)
Indivisible (100%)
The Outer Worlds
Void Bastards
Ape Out
Blazing Chrome
River City Girls (both endings)
A Short Hike
Baba is You

Games I started last year but didn't or couldn't finish:

Tom Clancy's The Division


Best games of 2019 I played:

Honorable mentions:

Spoiler:


Pikuniku




Gears 5




Blazing Chrome
[Best Contra]




What the Golf?
[Best golf puns] [Best cats] [SUPER. PUTT.]




The Hong Kong Massacre
[Best slomo] [Best shotgun]




Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
[Cutest game] [Best Marin]




Draugen




Untitled Goose Game
[Best goose] [Best animation] [Best honk]




River City Girls
[Best animation] [Best character art] [Best music] [Best Yoko]




THE QWARKY TOP 15 BEST GAMES OF 2019


Spoiler:

15.



Void Bastards
[Best artstyle] [Best scifi] [Best character traits] [Best kittybots]

A really cool looking scifi FPS roguelite hybrid that can get a little repetitive after a while and the ending is a little abrupt. But they nail the comic book presentation so flawlessly, everyone should play this game.

7/10



14.



The Outer Worlds
[Best Parvati] [Best scifi]

The original creators of original Fallout make a new scifi first person RPG. It's well written, pretty, and has some really good characters (and some not particularly engaging ones as well). A fun scifi romp with multiple solutions to pretty much every situation.

8/10



13.



Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order
[Best artstyle] [Best Marvel] [Best Ms. Marvel] [Best Spider-Gwen] [Best Gamora]

I had a blast playing through this. Combat is relatively simple, but still has just enough depth to be rewarding and some of the screenfilling ability combos are really satisfying. Story is a fun little adventure through several marvel worlds and the mashup of all these characters and their banter is really enjoyable.

8/10



12.



Wolfenstein: Youngblood
[Best Jessie] [Best Zofia] [Best hand gestures] [Best nazi shooting] [Best FPS movement] [Best cutscenes] [Best first kill]

Everyone hates this game now, but I really enjoyed playing through it. Structure is not the same as the last two Wolfenstein games, the live service elements are not implemented well (or necessary), and revisiting the same locations several times can get a little repetitive. Besides that, the setting is neat, the shooting, movement and exploration are really fun and satisfying, the characters are endearing and while it's fairly light on story, there's a few terrific moments and setpieces and a particularly memorable plot twist and ensuing cutscene.

8/10



11.



Ape Out
[Best gorilla] [Best artstyle] [Best sound] [Best ending]

A fascinating explosion of audiovisual overload that I didn't particularly enjoy PLAYING per se, because it's really hard and can get super frustrating at times. But I respect the hell out of the craft on display here and the ending is so fucking good it makes playing through the whole thing more than worth it.

YouTube Video

7/10



10.



Afterparty
[Best Hell] [Best dog] [Best Lola] [Best Milo] [Best music]

Maybe a little disappointing after the absolutely wonderful Oxenfree, but Afterparty is still a really funny, really compelling little walk and talk adventure game with a neat dialogue system, good writing and fun characters, and another superb soundtrack from scntfc

YouTube Video

8/10



9.



Baba is you
[Award is you] [Best Baba] [Best Keke] [Most puzzle]

Another game that I maybe didn't enjoy playing myself quite so much as I just love and respect for being exactly what it is and how. A brilliant puzzle game that is constantly asking you to bend its ruleset, teaching you to think outside the box, as well as playing around with structure and systems. It's also really, REALLY funny.

YouTube Video

7/10



8.



Knights and Bikes
[Best goose] [Best artstyle] [Best Demelza] [Best Nessa] [Best music]

A tremendously charming and heartfelt adventure, with a wonderful artstyle, endearing characters, fun bike riding and exploration, a superb Daniel Pemberton soundtrack and surprisingly emotional subject matter. I certainly cried a lot towards the end.

YouTube Video

8/10



7.



Control
[Best Oldest House] [Best combat] [Best abilities] [Best artstyle] [Best location title cards] [Best Ahti] [I see you are not the yesterday's grouse's son]

Remedy has managed to create an absolutely superb action adventure with a really cool look, thick atmosphere, and great world building. The Metroid like structure and exploration is fun, combat is punchy and satisfying, all the side stuff and readables are really compelling. It's a wonderfully strange and cool action game and I wish it had stuck the ending a little better. Still. Really looking forward to what they do with the DLC in 2020

YouTube Video

8/10



6.



Observation
[Best scifi] [Best artstyle] [Best space]

A wonderful atmospheric scifi mystery. It's short and a bit light on gameplay, but it has a stunning look, it's drenched in mood and I actually really like the ending. It's just that there is an even more compelling space mystery adventure type game out this year and it's way down this list.

YouTube Video

9/10



5.



Indivisible
[Best artstyle] [Best animation] [Best Ajna] [Best Razmi] [Best Kushi] [Best music] [Best ending]

Lab Zero tries to combine Valkyrie Profile combat, RPG structure and Metroid platforming and exploration. It's a little bit more linear than I would have liked, and some of the maps are a chore to get through when backtracking or revisiting, even after most of your abilities. It's a shame, because the story is very enjoyable, the characters are all wonderful, well written, and brought to life with superb animation and great voiceacting.

Really, it's the platforming and story that carried this for me, as the finale - after having done all of the characters' sidequests - was absolutely worth it. And Kikuta's score is fantastic. Razmi is best girl.

YouTube Video

9/10



4.



A Short Hike
[Best Claire] [Best hike] [Best mountain] [Most peaceful] [Best music] [Best fishing] [Best treasure] [Best ending]

An absolutely lovely little walk through the woods with a cast of likeable characters, a serene, soothing atmosphere and a delightful warm tone. Very funny, very kind.

YouTube Video

9/10



3.



Sayonara Wild Hearts
[Best Queen Latifah] [Best artstyle] [Best music] [Best bikes] [Best ending] [Best A Place I Don't Know]

An interactive pop album. It's got a striking look, it's got wonderful music and a super satisfying final act. Light on gameplay but it was such a treat on all the senses I didn't mind at all.

YouTube Video

9/10



2.



Resident Evil 2
[Best Claire] [Best zombies] [Best map] [Best shotgun] [Best minigun]

A stunning reimagining of a survival horror classic, respecting the spirit and values of the original, while successfully revising and modernising several things. Stressful combat, exploration and puzzles, great setpieces and amazing production values. I can't fucking wait for the remake of 3 and what they can do with a game I didn't really enjoy last time through.

YouTube Video

9/10



1.



Outer Wilds
[Game of the Year] [Best space] [Best timeloop] [Best solar system] [Best exploration] [Best music] [Best ending]

Well here it is. I'm in love with this game. This spellbinding, imaginative, wonder of an adventure. A tiny clockwork solar system you'll explore inside out, gawking, reading, learning, yearning.

It is the kind of game where the less you know about it, the more its mystery can surprise and delight you. And boy did it surprise and delight me. For over a week, I did nothing but think about this game. What I'd seen, what I'd read, what this meant, what that meant. What I can still find in that place. How I could get in that one place. At work, all I did was think about going home and playing more. I lived in this solar system. I loved all life in it.

I was worried it might falter at the last step, but it really doesn't. The game's finale was mesmerising and the whole journey will stay with me for years to come. If you haven't played it, please don't spoil yourself. Don't watch a let's play. Don't read up solutions. Experience it. Wake up by that campfire and look at that night sky. Go up there and find everything.

YouTube Video

9/10




List of 2019 games I didn't play but probably would have liked a lot:

Disco Elysium
Pathologic 2
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
Daemon X Machina
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Operencia: The Stolen Sun
John Wick Hex
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Virgo vs The Zodiac
Stardrop
Deliver Us the Moon
Astral Chain
Sunless Skies
Eliza
Moons of Madness
Code Vein
The Surge 2
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
Ion Fury
Devil May Cry 5
Arcade Spirits
Heaven's Vault
Vane
Manifold Garden

Hope everyone has a good start for the year!


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[Create Response Entry]
[public entry #741]

Jan 1, 2019 - 12:58 PM
Games of the Year 2018 + AWARDS
Response to: Games of the Year 2017 + AWARDS by map car man words telling me to do things

It is the time of lists. I'm gonna go through the games I played through last year and pick the best ones again!

Games I started before 2018 and only finished last year:

-

Games I started and finished last year:

HITMAN (2016) (Professional difficulty 20/20 all challenges)
Iconoclasts
SteamWorld Dig
SteamWorld Heist
SteamWorld Dig 2
Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell
Fear Effect Sedna
Hitman GO: Definitive Edition (PC)
Lara Croft GO + DLC (PC)
Into the Breach
Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery
Celeste
Link Twin
Framed
Framed 2
Hidden my game by mom
Hidden my game by mom 2
My brother ate my pudding
Wings of Vi
Kathy Rain
Forgotton Anne
Lake Ridden
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
La-Mulana 2
Chuchel
Crossing Souls
Thief of Thieves: Season One
Akane
Death's Gambit
Hidden my game by mom 3
Ghost of a Tale
FAR: Lone Sails
The Gardens Between
HITMAN: Sniper Assassin
Tangledeep
Marie's Room
The Lion's Song
Gorogoa
Master Spy (true ending)
What Remains of Edith Finch
Remothered: Tormented Fathers
Darksiders
Darksiders II
My Memory of Us
Where the Goats Are
Donut County
Unavowed
Get Even
Minit
Resident Evil 7 + DLC
Semblance]
Return of the Obra Dinn
Darksiders III
GRIS
Iris.Fall
HITMAN 2 (2018)

Games I started last year but didn't or couldn't finish:

Agents of Mayhem
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege
Fortnite: Save the World
Fortnite: Battle Royale
God of War
CrossCode
Dead Cells



Best games of 2018 I played:

Honorable mentions:

Spoiler:


Iconoclasts
[Best Robin] [Most unexpectedly depressing and dark story details]

6/10




Where the Goats Are
[Best Goats] [Best Chicken] [Best Drawing on Sand]

7/10




Unavowed
[Best Ben Chandler Sprites] [Best Vicki] [Best Mandana] [Best ProZD]

6/10




Forgotton Anne
[Best faux Ghibli aesthetics] [Also most unexpectedly depressing and dark story details]

7/10




Crossing Souls
[A++ Ending]

7/10




Semblance
[Best blobs]

6/10




Iris.Fall
[Best clockwork gears]

6/10




THE QWARKY TOP 16 BEST GAMES OF 2018


Spoiler:
16.



Chuchel
[Best Amanita Design game of the year] [Best Slapstick] [Best DVA game soundtrack of 2018] [Cherry of the year]

Jaromír Plachý and Amanita deliver another delightful interactive picture book of slapstick and weirdness.

YouTube Video

7/10



15.



Thief of Thieves: Season One
[Best Robert Kirkman license] [Surprising Finnish Game of the Year] [Best Celia] [Best comic book inking]

Surprisingly enjoyable episodic adventure game with stealth and light choice making. A really nice comic book aesthetic and solid voice acting makes it easy to put up with the occasionally clunky stealth, though I read they've patched improvements since. Good stuff! I want a season 2!

8/10



14.



Hidden my game by mom 3
[Best giraffe] [Best Mom gallery]

MAMA

8/10



13.



FAR: Lone Sails
[Best Horizon] [Most Biggest Transportation] [Best Music]

You stare at a lonely horizon and drive a dope ass trashpowered tank.

YouTube Video

8/10



12.



Minit
[Best Sword] [Land.. is best] [Best Jukio Kallio] [Best Countdown] [Best Black & White] [The Funniest Gag Award - for the old man by the lighthouse]

Use sword and die every 60 seconds. The Funniest Gag speaks for itself.

YouTube Video

YouTube Video

8/10



11.



Darksiders III
[Best Fury] [Best Tornado] [Best Giant Hammer]

A very good metroid/souls alike with fun combat and fun exploration. Ends a bit abruptly but hey.



7/10



10.



Ghost of a Tale
[Best Mice] [Best Frog] [Best Pirate Outfits] [Best Hiding in Barrels] [Best Mushroom Picking]

The best fantasy mouse sneaking and eating simulator RPG of 2018.

YouTube Video

8/10



9.



Into the Breach
[Best Mechs] [Best Turn-Based Game] [Most Heartbreak] [Best Time Travel] [Best Music]

FTL dev comes up with a way to break our hearts in turn-based tactics. Incredibly addicting and replayable.

YouTube Video

8/10



8.



Return of the Obra Dinn
[Best Graphics] [Best Detective Work] [Most Tragic Discoveries] [Best Music]

Lucas Pope makes us play supernatural detective and insurance agent.

YouTube Video

8/10



7.



La-Mulana 2
[Best Lumisa] [Best Mulbruk] [Best Bosses] [Most Getting Lost] [Most Where the Fuck am I Supposed to go What the Hell] [Best Music] [Funniest/Cutest/Most Heartbreaking Scene of the Year]



YouTube Video

8/10



6.



Akane
[Best Cyberpunk] [Most Blood] [Best Combo Chasing] [Best BLAME! Gun]

YouTube Video

8/10



5.



Donut County
[Best Holes] [Best Slapstick] [Best Raccoon] [Best Drone] [Best Music]

Ben Esposito gives us a strange and charming story about a selfish little shit raccoon dooming the world. Fantastic and funny stuff.

YouTube Video

8/10



4.



HITMAN 2 (2018)
[Best Level Design] [Best Murder] [Best Replayability] [Best Stealth] [Best Castle] [Best Miami] [Best Mumbai] [Best Slapstick] [Best Santa]

Well, the story is back to pretty dumb again after Season 1's promising start, but the level design is some of the best the series has ever seen. Fantastic work IO, I hope you do well enough for a Season 3.

YouTube Video

8/10



3.



The Gardens Between
[Best Graphics] [Best Dioramas] [Best Kids] [Best Rewind] [Best Bittersweet Ending]

A delightful little puzzler experience, with a gorgeous 3D diorama look and lovely music. The simple interactivity hides some clever puzzle sequences to solve, and you never get tired of forwarding and rewinding time, watching the two kids walk and run and climb and look at things. To top it off, the narrative tells a moving little story about the joys and pains of childhood friendship. A treat, I tell you!

YouTube Video

9/10



2.



GRIS
[Best Graphics] [Best Animation] [Best Watercolours] [Best Loneliness] [Best Falling] [Best Statues] [Best Music] [Best Chase Sequences] [Best Underwater] [Best Box Shaped Buddy] [Best Box Shaped Apples]

An astonishing piece of animated art you play through. It's bold, it's achingly gorgeous, it's contemplative and thrilling and melancholic and moving. It's a treat for the senses and I had a really hard time deciding between it and the game above for #2.

YouTube Video

9/10



1.



Celeste
[Game of the Year] [Mountain of the Year] [Best Madeline] [Best Writing] [The Made Me Cry Award for making me cry] [Toughest Platforming] [Best Weh heh heh laughing noise] [Best Music]

Well there it is. Celeste won my heart from the moment Madeline started talking and it remained my favourite game throughout the year. It's an incredibly tough platformer that superbly weaves punishing difficulty into a beautiful narrative about the struggles we endure and the strength we can find to better ourselves. We want Madeline to succeed and find courage because she's an incredibly endearing character and you grow to love all of the cast. Lena Raine's gorgeous soundtrack and some excellent writing elevates Celeste into a powerful and incredibly rewarding experience that speaks to pretty much all of us.

YouTube Video

9/10




Response entries:
Games of 2019 + The Qwarky Awards by map car man words telling me to do things

Give Props For This Entry (Quality Entry) [7] Edit this entry Delete this entry Comment on this entry (2 haibane)
[Create Response Entry]
[public entry #740]

Dec 31, 2017 - 05:47 PM
Games of the Year 2017 + AWARDS
Response to: Games of the Year 2016 + AWARDS by map car man words telling me to do things

It is the time I go through my list of games I played through last year and pick my favourites. Again!



Games I started before 2017 and only finished last year:

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze


Games I started and finished last year:

HITMAN (2016)
Nier (all endings)
Alien: Isolation + DLC
Obscure
Obscure II: The Aftermath
Hollow Knight (100%)
Ninja Pizza Girl
Ori and the Blind Forest - Definitive Edition
Memoranda
Myst
Riven - The Sequel to Myst
Myst III - Exile
Myst IV - Revelation
Uru: Ages Beyond Myst
Uru: To D'ni
Uru: Path of the Shell
Myst V - End of Ages
SUPERHOT
Amerzone
Clustertruck
Conga Master
Smashing the Battle
Clandestine
Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! (replay)
Moero! Nekketsu Rhythm Damashii: Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan 2
Snake Pass
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
RiME
NieR:Automata (endings A-E)
ECHO
Nex Machina
Cuphead
Sonic Mania
RUINER
Trackless
A Hat in Time
Tiny Echo
Mr. Shifty
Hob
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Super Mario 3D World (100%)
Battlerite (Poloma to lvl 20)
Thimbleweed Park

Games I started last year but didn't finish:

Hitman GO
Fire Emblem Heroes
Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus



Best games of 2017 I played:

Honorable mentions:

Spoiler:


RiME
[Best almost ICO but not really] [Best Little Hogs]



7/10




Cuphead
[Prettiest Game] [Best Graphics] [Best Animation] [Best Colour Bleed]

7/10




ECHO
[Best Scifi] [Best Setting]

7/10




Trackless
[Best Zork-like]

7/10




A Hat in Time
[Best Hats]

7/10




Tiny Echo
[Cutest Game] [Most Peaceful] [Most Envelopes]

7/10




Hob
[Best Terrain Raising] [Best Forest Sprite Creatures]

7/10



THE QWARKY TOP 11 BEST GAMES OF 2017


Spoiler:
11.



Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
[Best Sound] [Cringiest End Credits Song] [Best Lighting] [The More Satisfying on Hard Award]

It's kind of like a walking simulator with occasional moments of combat and puzzles. What is important about it for me is an indie developer showing they can get a high quality, high production value title like this done in this day and age, and find an audience. And it's a solid experience too.

7/10



10.



Ruiner
[Best Cyberpunk World] [Best Helmet] [Best Atmosphere] [Best Music] [Best Use of Susumu Hirasawa]

Really cool setting, really cool look, stunningly good soundtrack. The action is a bit too hectic and punishing so I had to drop it down from Hard to Normal, but all in all a really enjoyable and memorable action game. I'd love to see them do more in this world.

YouTube Video

8/10



9.



Memoranda
[Best Name Searching] [Best Disguised Elephant] [Best Talking Moose Head]

A lovely little point & click adventure with wonderful atmosphere and storytelling.

8/10



8.



Nex Machina
[Most Twin Stick] [Best Ari Pulkkinen Soundtrack] [Best Viewpoint Switching and Zooming] [Most Secret Humans]

Housemarque made their best game and probably the best twin stick shooter. Probably.

9/10



7.



Thimbleweed Park
[Best-a-who] [Best Sprites] [Most Maniac Mansion] [Best Annoying In-Jokes Toggle Option]

Ron Gilbert does NOT know how to end his games in a satisfying manner. But aside from that, this is a clever, funny, well written point & click adventure with tons of delightful little details and gags.

8/10



6.



Snake Pass
[Cutest Game] [Most Colourful] [Best Snake] [Best Noodle] [Best Stream Game] [Best Music] [Best Murderous Hummingbird]

A delightful 3D exploration game, where the actual act of navigating the environments IS the gameplay hook and main draw. I had a blast streaming most of this game, it's bright and colourful, has a wonderful soundtrack from David Wise, and has that rare brand of slapstick that comes from gameplay instead of visual gags.

YouTube Video

8/10



5.



Mr. Shifty
[Best Thief] [Best Teleporting] [Best Punching] [Best Broom Use]

Was totally surprised by this game and its central gameplay hook of dodging and punching. A superb little action game, with fun levels and tight controls. I want to see a sequel really bad.

8/10



4.



Battlerite
[Best Multiplayer] [Best Arena Brawling] [Best Music] [Best Blossom] [Best Lucie] [Best Poloma] [Best Oldur] [Best Freya] [Best Winter Event Skins] [Best Prehistoric Event Skins]

I don't like competitive multiplayer. I've got 150 hours in this game. It's freaking great. The characters are all fun to play and well designed, the matches go by fast so even losing doesn't feel terrible, and the combat is hectic and tactical and so much fun you just lose hours and can always get better. Poloma is A++







YouTube Video

9/10



3.



Hollow Knight
[Best Bugs] [Best Painted Backgrounds] [Best Atmosphere] [Best Tragedy] [Best Incidental Details] [Best Music] [Best 100% Experience]

It's dark, it's sad, it's beautiful, it's fun and intense and magical and heartbreaking. Fucking play it already, it's amazing. I put 44 hours into it to 100%. Trial of Fools is a bitch. My hands hurt for days afterwards from gripping the controller so hard.

YouTube Video

9/10



2.



NieR: Automata
[Best Androids] [Best Existential Agony] [Best Music] [Best Platinum Game of the Year] [Best Story] [Best Endings] [Best Hidden Endings] [Most Swords] [Best Pod] [Best Fishing] [Best Hacking] [Best 2B] [Best End Credits] [Best Final Final Ending]

The only knock against the game is how you kind of have to persevere with it to see the whole thing, it doesn't NATURALLY engage you to continue playing. But once you get over that hump, good god. Get all the endings. Cry over androids. It's Yoko Taro's most hopeful game but it's still incredibly cruel and dark and overwhelmingly sad. It's smart, it's brave, it's surprising and deeply touching. An amazing experience, an unbelievable soundtrack, well worth 50 hours. You'll get more out of it if you play through the original NieR first (all four endings)

YouTube Video

9/10



1.







Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
[Game of the Year] [Best Link] [Best Zelda] [Best Side Characters] [Best Emergent Narratives] [Best Open World] [Best Climbing] [Best Exploration] [Best Atmosphere] [Best Music] [Best Sunsets] [Best Sunrises] [Most Grass] [Best Bears] [Best Fields] [Best King of the Mountain] [Best Sidequests] [Best Koroks] [Best Desert] [Best Lynels] [Best Hanggliding] [Best Horses] [Best Scientists] [Most Fruit] [Most Swords]

A remarkable achievement and a remarkable adventure. Nintendo succesfully takes bits and pieces of modern open-world game design and perfectly integrates them with their own design philosophy and ideas, into a wonderful Legend of Zelda experience that moves the series forward, while totally nailing what the first game did so well. The final ending is maybe a little anticlimactic because of all the things you do before it, but it remains essential gaming and I wouldn't have sunk over 90 hours into it if I hadn't loved it so much.

YouTube Video

9/10




Response entries:
Games of the Year 2018 + AWARDS by map car man words telling me to do things

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Dec 25, 2017 - 09:10 AM
A Qwarky Christmas 2017
hello it is the time of the season of pictures

but first some classic finnish christmas tunes to get into the holiday spirit:

YouTube Video

YouTube Video

YouTube Video





The table is already set! Hooray! Sit down!



Time for melons and horses!











This is the life. I love the life.



Good food. Good people. Good food.



We almost forgot to serve these again. Soft dates, filled with blue cheese and wrapped in bacon. Delicious!















The sauce. The best. The sauce.



Yeah, this is the stuff. The best.



The ham. The best. The ham.



Nine hours dad had kept it in the oven. The best. The oven.



I'll drink to that.



YEAAAHHH THIS IS THE STUFF I LOVE CHRISTMAS



Small nap then mascarpone ice cream. The best. Ice cream.


Then usually we take a break, then have coffee and cake and my aunt opens her birthday presents. But because we were all so full and no one could have cake or coffee just yet, in the interest of time we decided to have some of us open christmas presents while we wait a bit.



which is what we did













Then it was time for sparkling wine and cake and coffee and birthday presents








And then the remaining presents were opened.



My mom is knitting me a sock, I was try this one on and if it fit, she makes the other one. It did, so I'm getting socks next year. Hooray! It's beautiful!






Merry christmas everyone, hope it's a really lovely and relaxing time for all!


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Jun 18, 2017 - 01:15 PM
GFF Meet 2017 photos - Part 3
Days 0-1 photos here

Days 2-4 photos here


Sorry for the delay. This proved harder than I'd expected. Here's the remaining days.


YouTube Video

Days 5-7 Thursday-Saturday:


oh, did i mention we moved upstairs last night because of cody's foot and he was better off sleeping in our room downstairs

it's pretty nice!

i kinda wanna stay in this room next year






(phone)



awww yea, tails and garr playing double dragon IV was a particular highlight



acer made balloon animals and weapons for us



BIG OL BEAR-ON-A-STICK






Then we played Mount Your Friends

YouTube Video


Wait, friday already? Shit

We finally went to that pancake place on time!

It was awesome!


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)

Garr with the advanced pancake strats!


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)


















YEAAAAAHHH HOTTUB BOIS


Then I too went in the hottub and we did BoilingForce and it was super nice while it was still lightly raining and we were all just boiling in there and there was a big ol bumblebee in the bushes




Then Cody was free and we went to pick him up at the hospital and his fucking coffee GOD


(phone)

Then we went for ice cream!


(phone)


Then it was time for food!




Far, far too much food!




Then the moon was up and absolutely gorgeous so we went over to the beach to stare at it and my camera can't do it justice.












abby did some art






And then it was saturday! Shit!







Then everyone left and I didn't get any shots of hugs and then Abby dropped me off at the airport and I met up with Talec, Tritoch and CHz who were still there


(phone)





and then ate a gross bacon king meal and regretted everything



then tritoch bailed on us like a chump so we walked around in a tiny tiny airport waiting for chz's plane to start boarding




then chz left



then we sat around some more with talec till her plane left





and then an hour later my plane left and I went home and no more remained






What a week. Next year I need to bring my Ixus again for emergency photos and video cause using my phone sucks.

Thank you all for being such lovely people, looking forward to seeing everyone again next year.



Here's the group shot again:

group photo 2017:



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Jun 15, 2017 - 01:47 PM
GFF Meet 2017 photos - Part 2
Days 0-1 photos here

i said i didn't take a lot of photos this meet and it really shows around monday and tuesday, to the point where i momentarily got really confused what day i was on when putting these up, as if i'd missed an entire day



YouTube Video

Days 2-4 Monday-Wednesday:






awkward pang wave.jpg


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)



Then Escape Room happened! It was great!


(phone)


(phone)








and then the day switched to Tuesday and I almost didn't realize when doing these!













YouTube Video



Then Tails played some more TorqueL while we all sat and screamed at him and it was magical


YouTube Video


YouTube Video





WEDNESDAY MORNING

A WHOLE LOT OF JUST SITTING AROUND



oh no











then Uno happened!
















YouTube Video









(this is actually one of my favourites of the whole week)


YouTube Video





blessed koskenkorva, blessed acer for importing some this year





more to come!


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Jun 14, 2017 - 02:34 PM
GFF Meet 2017 photos - Part 1
I have been dragging my feet with these, constantly finding new ways to distract myself from going over everything and picking and finetuning and uploading.

That sinking feeling that this year is going to be a huge disappointment in terms of photos cause I really didn't take that many photos, especially of moments I would have liked to capture. And the moments I did manage to capture, the photos were often focused incorrectly or I had the white balance selected all wrong and couldn't tell from the tiny LCD screen in bright sunlight.

Anyway.

I am going too slowly so here's the first two days while I try to get the rest done. Sorry!

YouTube Video

Days 0-1 Saturday-Sunday:


My flights would have me arrive after 5PM, missing most of the first day.



but it sure was nice being back at the house again.



NAME THAT POKEMON

"it's pikachu!"



"GOD DAMNIT!"







Few hours into the meet and Tails was already done

















































o7





















pete fucking died




talec fucking died




it was a good day for acer and haydee



It was somewhere around here that I smoked weed and came along grocery shopping in an effort to find ingredients to make mascarpone ice cream


(phone)

I took several photos of syrup before eventually finding everything I needed


(phone)


(phone)


(phone)






then we did jeopardy





pang was not oka-
















(phone)


Then we went to pick up Term!

It was Skills, Acer and me listening to the Initial D soundtrack all the way to the airport!



and he arrived!







then it was grilled cheese time!



geddit



then telestrations happened



and skills knew















"talec is really good at drawing chocobo or unicorns or something i guess"



angry sun and the tower of too many bells


and now a delightful little set of acer laughing









it was at this point that the brownie that had been on my plate in this photo taken earlier finally kicked in and no further photos were taken on my camera for the rest of the evening from the looks of it




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Jan 1, 2017 - 08:58 AM
Games of the Year 2016 + AWARDS
Response to: Games of the Year 2015 and the usual awards by map car man words telling me to do things

That's right. The coveted Qwarky awards for the best games of the year!

Time to go through the list of games I played last year and pick my favourites from the new releases. I built a new computer in December 2015, after two years of very little computer gaming, so 2016 was extremely PC focused.



Games I started before 2016 and only finished last year:

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (135 hours total!)


Games I started and finished last year:

Blocks That Matters
Tetrobot and Co.
The Marvellous Miss Take
The Stanley Parable
GUN GODZ
Nuclear Throne (looped after 66 hours of attempts)
Shardlight
Dungeon of the Endless
Antichamber
Amazing Princess Sarah
Samorost 3
Stranded
Murder
Deadlight
Legend of Grimrock
Legend of Grimrock 2
Lili: Child of Geos
Gunman Clive
Hyper Light Drifter
Lume
Lumino City
Mark of the Ninja
Lucidity
Stealth Bastard Deluxe
Orcs Must Die!
Orcs Must Die! 2
Torchlight
Torchlight 2
Stealth Inc. 2: A Game of Clones
A Story About My Uncle
NyxQuest: Kindred Spirits
DeadCore
Oxenfree
Kholat
The Way
Cloudbuilt
Master Spy
Shatterhand
Power Blade
Power Blade 2
Shadow of the Ninja
Xeodrifter
Duck Tales 2
Overwatch (started, still playing, but with 200 hours clocked I'd say I've played "enough")
Oxenfree (replay)
Oniken
Forward to the Sky
Hotline Miami (replay)
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Doom (2016)
Seraph
Republique
Lumo
Submerged
Dreaming Sarah
Odallus: The Dark Call
Batman: Arkham City - Harley Quinn's Revenge DLC
Batman: Arkham Knight + Arkham Episodes DLC chapters
The Longest Journey
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey
Dreamfall Chapters: The Longest Journey
INSIDE
Momodora
Momodora II
Momodora III
Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight
Firewatch
ADR1FT
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
Call of Duty: Ghosts
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
Call of Duty: Black Ops 3
Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Wolfenstein: The Old Blood
Saints Row: The Third (replay)
Saints Row IV
Saints Row 2 (replay)
Shantae: Risky’s Revenge - Director’s Cut
Owlboy
Dishonored 2
MANDAGON
Virginia

Games I started last year but didn't finish:

None (unless you count Overwatch)



THE DEFINITIVE TOP 12 LIST OF THE BEST GAMES FROM 2016:

Spoiler:
12.



Shardlight
[Point & Click Adventure Game of the Year] [Best Wadjet Eye Game of 2016] [The Ben Chandler Award for 2D Adventure Game Sprite Excellence]

Another lovely little point & click adventure from the reigning champions of the genre, with some wonderful world building, melancholic atmosphere and multiple endings depending on your choices. Doesn't quite reach Gemini Rue or Primordia, or even Technobabylon, but well worth playing through. And the sprites are absolutely lovely.

7/10


11.



Samorost 3
[Cutest Game] [Best Music] [Best Collectibles] [Best Third Samorost] [Best Second Samorost Sequel] [Best Dog] [The "Amanita Design Game of the Year" Award For Best Amanita Developed Game] [Best Space]

Amanita gives us another gift and Samorost 3 is more Samorost, but on a level of polish far beyond even Botanicula. It's an adorable, funny, surreal little adventure and one of the most charming titles of the year.

8/10


10.



Virginia
[Best Hard Cuts Of the Year] [The "Seriously Those Hard Cuts Were Really Fucking Great" Award For Some Surprisingly Well Done And Neat Hard Cuts] [Last Game I Played of the Year Award] [Second Best Wordless Narrative] [Most Annoying Cryptic Sequences] [Most Unexpected Little Sequence That Made Me Tear Up That Wasn't Really Meant To Be Particularly Sad]

My feelings towards this game shifted from positive to negative to positive to negative to contemplative and hesitant in the span of its very brief 2 hour run time. It's an achingly beautifully crafted linear path through a set of several mysteries, filled with absolutely stunning little touches, from the use of music and dialogueless narrative, to the superb cuts that completely delighted me. Then it'll throw you into sequences that you won't understand and at times it's spellbinding while other times it's just deeply frustrating. There are sights and scenes that make no sense, whether you try to interpret them literally or symbolically, and the last stretch of the game left me feeling disappointed initially. The more I've thought of it, the more I've warmed back to it, but it is a difficult game to enjoy outright. After sleeping on it, I've come to realize I did very much enjoy the journey, even if the conclusion could have been more satisfying. In either case it's a fascinating, ambitious and in many ways rewarding experiment in first person and video game narrative. It's just that there's another game on this list that does all that so much better.

8/10


9.



Dreamfall Chapters
[Best Zoe] [Best Writing] [Best April] [Best Crow] [Second Most Unexpected Game to Make Me Cry] [Best Episodic Game] [Best Continuation of Dreamfall] [Best Consequences for Choices] [The "Man I Hope They End Up Making The Longest Journey Home" Award For Hoping For A Final Chapter To April's Story Now That Zoe's Is Done]

I sat down and played through The Longest Journey, then Dreamfall and then Dreamfall Chapters almost back to back. People should not play Chapters without playing through the first two games in the series first. Chapters is very much a continuation (and in many ways a conclusion) of past events and the destinies of old characters people like and care deeply about. It's a beautiful adventure, with slight attempts at consequences for choices, but nothing actually major. You are essentially just observing a sequence of events that are only a minor part of much bigger things. And it's really good. Basically play The Longest Journey and Dreamfall. Chapters is fantastic and absolutely worth it. Norwegians are still fantastic storytellers.

9/10


8.



Dishonored 2
[Best Stealth] [Most Emily] [Best Stephen Russell] [Second Best Delilah of the Year] [Best Supernatural Powers] [Winner of The Best Level of the Year Award: The Clockwork Mansion] [The Most Unexpected Brandon Keener Award for Unexpected Brandon Keener]

It's more Dishonored. It's got a paper-thin main story. Its characters aren't particularly engaging. Its world building and flavour text are terrific. Its stealth is really fun. It's got a few absolutely fantastic levels. It's really pretty. It's really great if you like Dishonored 1.

8/10


7.



Doom (2016)
[Best Single Player First Person Shooting] [Best First Person Platforming] [Best Use of Music in Combat] [One of the Biggest Surprises of the Year Award] [The FURY ROAD Award For Unexpected Old Franchise Revival That Actually Turned Out Really Fantastic]

I had written this game off as garbage several times since it's first E3 reveal. It looked like crap. It turned out to be really fucking good. It successfully takes the spirit of what a lot of people love about Doom and splices it with more modern technology and trappings. The focus on exploring the levels is absolutely terrific and they reward exploration and it's all completely perfectly in line with the vast levels and oh my god it's so good. Just the way simply moving around and navigating the levels and shooting feels genuinely good and satisfying is incredibly impressive to me and should be celebrated. It loses some of its steam like two levels or so before it ends, but this is one of the best first person shooter campaigns of recent years. The fury and fun are just wonderful.

8/10


6.



INSIDE
[Depressing Danish Game of the Year] [Best Animation] [The Geez That's Messed Up Award For Implied Dark Stuff] [Best Follow-up to Limbo] [Most Violence Towards Children] [Creepiest Underwater Segment]

It's a worthy successor to Limbo. And I really liked Limbo. It's bleak, it's dark, it's beautifully paced, it's got gorgeous animation and environmental design, it's a very memorable cinematic platformer that doesn't overstay its welcome.

9/10


5.



Overwatch
[Best Multiplayer] [The Most Hours Played Award For Most Hours Played] [Best FPS]

I don't like competitive multiplayer games but I put 200 hours into Overwatch so it has to be doing something really well. It's bright, colourful, fast-paced, fun, pretty and has a world and characters that are charming and memorable enough to add that extra bit to the game. Blizzard are really good at making shiny things.

9/10


4.



Hyper Light Drifter
[Best Graphics] [Prettiest Game] [Best Music] [Best Combat] [Best Wordless Narrative] [Awesome Architecture] [Best Atmosphere]

A slightly non-linear Zelda, but with less reliance on gadgets and more focus on combat and exploration. It strikes a good balance and the atmosphere, environmental storytelling and stunning visuals are enough to keep you playing. This was my favourite game of the year for several months.. until I played the next three.

9/10


3.



Owlboy
[Best Graphics] [Prettiest Game] [Best Music] [Longest Development Time] [Best Finale] [The Delightful Award For Being Genuinely Surprising And Wonderful And You Should Play This Game] [Made Me Cry Award For Making Me Cry] [The Unexpectedly Emotionally Involving Award For Making Me Cry And Not Expecting It] [Most Unexpected Game to Make Me Cry] [Best Hug] [Best Grass]

Nine years it took them to make it, it feels unreal that it's actually done and here and really quite wonderful. Owlboy is a beautiful little metroid-lite adventure, set in a gorgeous world of floating islands, mysterious ruins and ancient, forgotten technology. Play it. It's absolutely wonderful and charming and beautiful to look at.

9/10


2.



Firewatch
[Best Writing] [Prettiest Game] [Best First Person] [Second Best Dialogue System] [Best Delilah of the Year] [Spookiest Moment In A Not Spooky Game] [Second Spookiest Moment In A Not Spooky Game] [Best Walkie Talkie] [Best Character Creation] [Best Drinking] [Best Voice Acting]

Holy god damnit I did not expect this game to win me over. Beautifully subdued in pretty much everything, it's a meticulously crafted, quiet, unassuming little walk through the lives of two lost adults, as much a character study as it is a mystery to uncover. It is a stunning use of interactive narrative and I can't wait to see what Campo Santo does next.

9/10


1.



Oxenfree
[BEST GAME OF THE YEAR] [Best Writing] [Best Voice Acting] [Spookiest Game] [Best Island] [Best Radio] [Best Music] [Best Dialogue System] [Best Alex] [The "Another Unexpected Emotionally Involving Game" Award for Being Unexpectedly Emotionally Involving For What Is Essentially A Teen Horror Trope Plot, Especially The Moments Where A Confused Alex Gets To Talk To Her Dead Brother In The Past Were Incredibly Well Done And Subtle And Hit Me Right In The Feels And Yes They Made Me Cry Ok]

Well this is it. My favourite game of the year. A completely wonderful little ghost story, with a fantastic dialogue system, terrific writing, lovable characters and a surprisingly engaging narrative and emotional punch. A remarkable debut work from a highly promising developer who know what they're doing. I love this game so much and I want to see what Night School does next.

9/10




A definitive list of 25 games I probably should have played last year:

Spoiler:


The Last Guardian



HITMAN (2016)



Uncharted 4: A Thief's End



The Witness



Let It Die



Superhot



Thumper



REZ Infinite
(although in my defence I have ordered the physical disc release, which is set to ship sometime in January)



Dark Souls III



Abzû



Obduction



Earth Defence Force 4.1



XCOM 2



Event [0]



The Turing Test



Necropolis



Quadrilateral Cowboy



Mafia III



Conga Master



Yomawari: Night Alone



Dead Rising 4



ICEY



Bound



Deadbolt



Mirror's Edge Catalyst




Response entries:
Games of the Year 2017 + AWARDS by map car man words telling me to do things

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Dec 25, 2016 - 01:35 PM
A Qwarky Christmas 2016
Just in time for the forums to be back too!

Happy chrism!

Merry crisis!

Here's some photos of a table!



Setting up the table!



Lots of of starters on the table!




Smoked horsemeat!



Goes well with honeydew melon!



Shredded carrots and lemon juice!



Mushrooms and beetroot and creme fraiche and red peppers and little plum tomatoes and plates as well!



So many different dishes of fish!

This was salmon!



Gather round the salmon!



So much food!



More food!

Soft dates, filled with blue cheese, wrapped in serrano ham, cooked in the oven! Delicious! Amazing!



yyiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss



What's that, booze, sure let's drink to that!



Cheers!



After a good rest, time for main course. With casseroles! Potato (lower right), turnip (top), and a new dish my mom tried: sweet potato, with pecan nuts and crisp bacon bits on top. Amazing! Delicious!



MERRY HAM EVERYONE



yyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssss this is the stufffffff



This stuff was so goooood



yiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssss it's so good to be alive



made mascarpone ice cream for dessert

had to go lay down for a while after eating way too much



Cakes with coffee!



Gather round the cakes!



Presents!

Way too many presents!



It took us forever to each open our presents in turn. We ended up going home past 10:30pm!

It was a great christmas!

I hope everyone has a great christmas!

Merry chrimas!

It's so nice to have GFF back!


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