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Oct 17, 2006 - 10:41 PM
Forgetfulness
Like I said before keeping a journal is not much a habit of mine. Which explains the massive gap between my last journal post and this one. My forgetfulness has been getting the best of my for the last 4 or so years of my life. Essential things always slip past my memory (today was the 5 time in recent memory in which I forgot my wallet when I really needed it, its starting to really get on my nerves). In anycase I'm just glad I remembered I had a journal and that I wanted to keep it up.

Its only the 4th week of class and its midterm time, quarter system sucks. As of right now I have two midterms tomorrow, my calculus midterms and my econ midterms. In all honesty I'm not too worried about either of them. What really worries me is my carelessness. I failed my last math quiz because instead of actually doing integration in an integration problem I did differentiation instead. Its small things like this that really get me all the time. I know all the material, I know how its supposed to be done, but I always somehow slip up and totally screw things up the ass. I just hope I'll actually fucking pay attention tomorrow and don't fuck things up.

In anycase I finally come back to GFF and I find fighter jets flying left and right and left and right totally mixed up. Anyone care to fill me in?


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Sep 29, 2006 - 08:56 PM
Motivation? Inspiration?
Call of Duty 2 is a very engaging game, a definite recommend in my opinion. Many of those who have played this game can atest to the game's awesomeness. While I'm not a total nub at this game I find that sometimes I do a LOT better after having watched a commando movie or something with commando-ish in it (you know that kinda rambo stuff, one man army kinda thing). Usually I can average for a 2:1 kill/death ratio. But sometimes after having watched something like Black Hawk Down or something else with SOF action when I play shooters I improve rather drastically (68 - 8, pure TDM no mods, on a server that i regular 2:1 on). After watchin one of those kind of things I can be a total FIEND on CoD2 or any of my other shooters. You'd better run away.

But I dunno, is it just my mind being in the right mindset for shooters? Coincidence? something psychological? Do you think something like this will also happen when it comes to studying? Because I'll need it in the coming months at college.

Currently Playing: Music: STORYWRITER, So Contagious

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Sep 27, 2006 - 02:39 AM
Hobbies?
puzzled
Hobbies, they're supposed to be the things that fills up all that free time that you have. They could be things like collecting cards, maybe stamps. They could also be playing an instrument like the piano or the guitar. For others it maybe drawing and sketching. Building model airplanes and assembling miniature railroads are other's cups of tea. These days even making websites, digital images and 3D rendering might pass off as hobbies. Effectively anything that you enjoy that isn't your job but still requires a skill I guess could qualify as a hobby.

The point I wanted to bring out is that today I realized I really don't have a hobby...


Unless you consider raiding in WoW as a hobby.

Currently Playing: Games: CoD2 Music: Flows, DAYS

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Sep 26, 2006 - 02:38 AM
Work
dreaming a
As I finally begin to dawn upon the impact of the first week of college the element that hits the hardest is the fact that its time to go back to work. Back to writing papers, back to doing math problems, and back to looking for job to earn some bling.

In anycase today I finally decided to take a look at what all this Yotsuba stuff was about. I must say I was pleasantly surprised, it seems it certainly lives up to the praise that people have been giving it. Really makes me wonder why I haven't checked it out before since I already knew it was from Azumanga's maker and I really enjoyed Azumanga.

Another thing I just wanted to throw out there just so I have something to talk about is my annoying habit with story spoilers and getting myself too attached to stories. Each time I get engrossed in a story the first thing I wanna do is find out the ending, it totally spoils me, but to some degree trying to find out how the story wound up where it was intrigues me just as much. As for getting attached to the story my problem is I hate bad closures, sometimes I don't want closure at all. For example (spoilers retain the the Eureka seveN anime series, oh and get ready to get hit by a wall of text):
Spoiler:
In Eureka Seven, in the end, we know that Dominic/Anemone and Renton/Eureka pair ups are now etched in stone. But in the end its quite clear the the Gekko crew dropped off the kids at the grandpa's place and Renton and Eureka apparently haven't come back themselves yet. The ending episode (which I also spoiled for myself) only shows them apparently holding hands in a forest glade, quite romantic (even tho I'm not really a romantic person myself I can appreciate romantic moments). And it pretty much ends there, wtf?

Yeah i know eventually they'll come back, but when? will they bring a 4th human/corallian hybrid child? (can coralians and humans really produce viable offspring? i know its implied that it will work out but I still wanna know) how will the child look like? boy or girl? what color of hair and eyes? name?!?! Will they lead a peaceful existence (despite Eureka's fairy wings and that jewel thing on her forehead)? Will they rejoin Gekko? How many children will they have? Do they really represent the joining of the coralian race and the human race? Will they eventually lie on their death beds still as a deeply in love couple who will be there for each other unto death and thereafter? (Do coralians live longer than humans?)

And what about the crew of the Gekko? what happens to them? do they continue on with their lives as freelancers? What about the info about Tolha's child? Do the other couples aboard also get together? Do Holland and the crew ever meet up with Eureka and Renton ever again? They know where Renton's grandfather lives, so might they visit once Eureka/Renton come back? Or will they never meet again? Will any of them leave and settle down and raise their own family? Or will they always be on the move, maybe pick up some of Eureka/Renton's children as new members of Gekko?

I could make another list for the questions I have about Dominic/Anemone as well but I don't think I will bore you with them anymore.

As you can see if things are not brought to a definite close for me I have shitloads of questions I'd like to have answered. And with my uncontrollable and vibrant imagination I already have an answer for each question, but I cannot be sure as its not official so I never wind up taking my own answers and the questions remain, nagging at me, constantly coming back. And for rather well developed stories these kind of questions will remain with me almost indefinitely.

And yet theres more (you're tired now I know), sometimes I also don't want closure just to let these questions roam about, I enjoy a little excercise in imagination every now and then, and even if there was complete closure I doubt it would silence all of my questions


Yeah that will be my rant today.

P.S
Spoiler:
still about Eureka here,


Is it just me, or does anyone else find that the whole Renton <3 Eureka thing that they put on the moon and on the compac drive to be INCREDIBALLY corny? undeniably fruity? Its really my only complaint so far.


Currently Playing: Acceptance - So Contagious

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Sep 25, 2006 - 02:00 AM
The past. . .
People say hindsight is 20/20, it couldn't be more true. Its perfectly understandable. My only problem is how people take it too far.

The reason I bring this up is because recently I got into a little argument with a friend about games and stuff. He says people have been valuing gameplay over graphics the entire time. But anyone who has half a brain knows for the last 6 or so generations of game consoles the driving force has been graphics. And that only recently have people come around to give gameplay more cred. And only after the success of the DS over the graphically superior PSP. Then came the Wii and its controller and what not. Now all of a sudden people are saying how gameplay determined the industry all along, totally ignoring the fact that up till now it had been graphics driven. Then they go back and nit pick the few exceptions where gameplay trumped graphics in the past and ignore everything else. Just kinda pisses me off, history has many valuable lessons, but don't make up lessons out of thin air.


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Sep 24, 2006 - 04:25 AM
Weekends!
Kinda sad
First weekend that I will be spending away from home. So far I think I'm doing okay by myself. And honestly I haven't had any major pangs of homesickness. I'm somewhat glad that I am kind of off on my own. The independence feels nice. Although having to actually prepare my own dinner, wash my own clothes is kind of annoying, but I guess I'd better get used to it. Sadly most of my dormmates went back home for the day so I was kinda left alone, although I was able to experience how its like having the room to myself and I enjoyed it. But otherwise it was a rather boring and uneventful day, and after a week of activities and doing things it was kind of awkward feeling like there is nothing to do, even logging onto WoW felt kind of boring, hell I quit in the middle of a PuG MC because I was tired from the boredom.

In other news today I just learned that my god fucking damned school network has some kind of ban on torrents. I can download .zips, anything else, but when I try to download a torrent it never works, the message I get from trying is that I can't reach the source server, blah blah blah. But seeing as how all my other downloads work I don't think its a problem on my side, must be some kind of stupid software they use on the university's router that blocks torrent download requests. This is really fucking lame, how the fuck do they expect me to get my music? anime? video? games? god fucking damn, what a bunch of cumbuckets. Times like this the profuse usage of high explosives against the network admins I feel is totally 100% justified. So for those of you out there who are uber-godly at network stuff, any tips or ideas? The only one I have right now is possibly using the "Save target as..." option and set the file to something else, then when complete rename the extension as .torrent. However my experiments today on this technique proved unconclusive, leading me to believe not only is it a ban on .torrents but all download traffic from a list of torrent sites. I believe now the only option is to find a website that for one reason or another packages its torrents in .zip or .rar files so that the network filter won't pick them up. However to the best of my knowledge such places don't really exist.

This is kind of random but, don't you wish you could fly? And I don't mean like flying in an airplane or something, but the kind of flying where you can feel the wind in your face and it breezing through your hair? Where you can just fly up high into the sky where you look down on the clouds and where you can see the curvature of the earth? and all this on your own power, no need to worry about gas or whatever, where you can fly on a whim. Its just so dreamy and far out, and the problems with these kind of wishes is that while they're nice to day dream about once you come back to reality and realize its probably never going to happen you really get this pang of hurt from this realization, and it really sucks.

Currently Playing: Games: WoW Music: A.D.D.P, To your beat

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Sep 23, 2006 - 03:31 AM
Foam!
$_$
Today we had a foam party set up by the student government at my college. It was pretty interesting although I myself didn't get in (I didn't enjoy the idea of being in a huge body of water filled with foam with a shitload of other people there, god knows whats in that water and whats in that foam, my concerns are not alone, as I also found out there was spermicide in that foam, I wonder what for...). But it was still cool seeing how that party went down.

In anycase today was my first day at class, and only now do I realize the full extent of how badly my schedule sucks. I have a class at 9am, then at 1pm and finally another at 4pm, each class lasting 1 hour. You see the problem is I live at a rather distance on-campus site, and the shuttle I take to get to the main campus takes about 15 to 30 minutes roughly for a trip from dorm to the bus stop. So I wound up going back and forth today and it felt like a total waste of time. Really sucks hard. I can say however it seems my professors seem alright. My calculus proff. seems pretty cool but its too early to say. My writing professor also seems really laid back. In fact in class today it was almost like he just got up or as if he wasn't really prepared at all, half the time it was clear he was making the stuff up as he went, maybe thats just his style. I can say however the head of the writing department is a total bona fide jackass without even meeting him. Just reading his syllabus which is overflowing with his jackassness gives you an impression that hes a total hard-ass, my suspicions were confirmed when my writing professor said so himself. My Econ class much to my dismay is actually not worth jackshit towards my econ major. However it still gives credit for other things.
*rant with profuse amounts of explicit language*
The only thing I hate about the class is that homework is handled through a paid website, yes I have to pay $28 to register with some fucking retarded ass website in order to turn in my homework and everything. As fucking if tution and book fees weren't bad enough. Sure $28 doesn't sound that much but I'd much rather not cough up a penny for that shit and just turn in a hard copy of homework instead. Hell the website my math class will be using to turn in homework is free, why not this stupid shit? Just those cocky-ass professors who always say "Oh we,'re research professors, we've got better things to do than grade papers, we'd rather just have YOU fork over YOUR money to some stupid website to save my lazy ass some time." I say FUCK YOU. If your so-called research was so fucking god damn important then fucking quit teaching, go find your fucking cure for cancer or write your stupid thesis about some stupid shit.

Its fucking retarded to have a professor who clearly doesn't give a fuck about teaching go into a classroom and tell them to teach. I don't give a rat's ass if they have a nobel prize or whatever, they can shove it up their ass where their head is. There should be a difference between a researcher and a professor. If we as students are expected to put forth effort to do well in the class I'd at least expect the professors to put in at least some decent amount of effort out as well. for fuck's sake put those TAs to work. Or at least find some alternative that is free for use, rather than some stupid website that wants $28 so our lazy professor can skip about an hours worth of correcting what is shaping up to be mere multiple choice problems. Lazy asses
*/rant*
Okay so maybe I'm expecting a little too much from a professor who has to handle 100+ students, but honestly the point here is that after all of our fees and books, asking us to pay money just so the professor and her TAs can save some time grading mere multiple choice papers is crossing the line IMO. At least find some free alternative we can use or pay our fees for us, I can understand the desire to save time, but I certainly am not going to tolerate it at our expense. That or its just me being a stingy penny-counting jackass again.

Currently Playing: Games: - Music: A.D.D.P, Back in Black

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Sep 22, 2006 - 03:32 AM
Oh snap
sad
Classes start tomorrow and I just found out that I need to print out some lame ass 18 page syllabus. Lame. Isn't this kinda shit professors are for (at least when I was taking my courses at my community college)? Then again maybe its me thats spoiled expecting everything to be set up and all ready to go for me. I guess its another one of those changes about college I'll need to get used to. In the meantime I also need to find a job that I can squeeze inbetween my classes, gotta earn some spare change so I can support myself (and to get that Wii and/or/maybe PS3 and Xbox360). In anycase it seems tomorrow is my first real offical day at college, both the realization that I'm going to advance my education and that in all probability the fun times end here really gives me a wierd bittersweet feeling similiar to when I was about to move out.

Well I'm not going to write much as I need to get some sleep, I'm going try to get to campus early so I have some time to locate my classroom, at least I hope I'm going to get up on time, I hope the shuttle will get here on time, and that I hope I'll find the classroom at all, times like this I hate UCI's ridiculously large campus...

Currently Playing: Games: CoH, WoW Music: Tripod Baby, Breathe(remix), SexyBack

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Sep 21, 2006 - 05:40 AM
Like hella NorCal talk
Chillin~
Hella, is that like something alien to SoCal people or something? The most common question I get when people find out I'm from NorCal or when I say "hella" is "Do you use 'hella' like alot?" One guy in my dorm acted like NorCal was another planet or something, says that NorCal people say "pop a bitch" when we U-turn. Its news to me. But its cool, I've never really realized how reigonal "hella" was before now, and now I'm a lot more aware of when I use hella. Who knows, maybe by the time I go back home and chat to my friends "hella" will be hella alien to me. In the meantime, NorCal represent.

In anycase SoCal is great, although the weather here is pretty wack, its very warm during the day like 80+, but at night its freezing, I had thought a place like Irvine which is so close to the sea would have far more moderated tempuratures. Being so close the beach and South Coast Plaza (which is a huge mall if you don't know what it is) I don't think I've ever had so many places of interest around me (this is just regarding OC, lets not even get into LA). Back in Fremont all there was to really do was to go to the Great Mall in the nearby city of Milipitas. But here I am in SoCal, in the middle of Orange County. So many things to do, so many things to see, between all that and my college classes (which starts friday) I don't know if I'll ever get around to seeing everything. Hell tonight I missed a pretty big party at the Bellagio club with many hot asian chicks as far as my informants tell me, but I still had a great time chillin with some of my dormmates out eating dinner and checking out another on-campus party. But from what others have told me and from my own gut feeling I know that once classes really start things can and almost indefinitely will be going downhill which really makes me sad because I'm having quite a blast just chillin' like a villian.
In anycase its like 20 mins till 4am here time to go.

Currently Playing: Games: CoH Music: Dani California, So Exclusive

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Sep 20, 2006 - 02:39 AM
Another day, just breathe
Relaxed
Today my university's shuttles finally began service and the campus has since shrunk in size for me. The great thing about these shuttles are that they come every 10 minutes and one of their stops is very close to my dorm and they go right to the heart of the university at the administration building. From there I can reach at least half of the university's lecture halls and what not, and on the other hand I can also get to University Center from the stop. At the center is a bunch of food outlets (In-n-Out is awesome, although tomorrow I need to go try their well-done fries), a theatre, a post office and a variety of other shops. Very awesome.

Anyways so today the first thing I did was go to the bookstore to buy my books, it was only after I had bought my books that I remembered I should've checked for used books around campus (theres actually a shop at University Center that deals with used text books) damn me and my shitty ass memory. In anycase it turns out it doesn't really matter that much as none of the used books that weren't in the bookstore were the books I needed.

So while I was at the bookstore I also decided to celebrate for having picked UCI with its great campus by buying myself a new black iPod nano, frivilous use of money since I already have a perfectly working iPod mini but sometimes I feel people just need to indulge themselves every now and then. This is will be my moment of indulgence for the time being before the new consoles come out (Wii, or PS3? maybe Xbox?). Although at the back of my head I still kind of think it was somewhat of a waste of money, hopefully once I get a job the feeling will go away as I earn back the money, but still, the nano's small size really almost makes it a wonder of technology, roughly 10 years ago the smallest music player you could get was limited to CDs, which then limited the number of songs you could have unless you carried around your CD case. Now you can cram hundreds of CDs into an object less than, oh say a quarter the size of a CD player. 10 years down the line god knows what things will be like.

Also despite the somewhat bad rep surrounding electronic (music genre) I've recently found that I quite like a few electronic songs, trance too. I think I need more of that kind of relaxing music to calm my nerves.

Well enough writing now, time to go do something else...

Currently Playing: Games: Company of Heroes (damn WoW server retrofits...) Music: Breathe

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Sep 18, 2006 - 11:00 PM
a new start on life.
Lost.
Today is 9/18/06, and officially today is my real first day in college, UC Irvine. Since I'm starting a new chapter in life I'd figure now would be an ideal time to start off a journal that I will actually update and use to some extent. In anycase (*reminder* stop using this phrase so often, I use "In anycas..." way to often) my college life starts today, so many questions with so few answers, are frats worth joining? I wonder how my classes and professors will work out, and I taking the right classes? Am I taking the right amount of classes? Its only now that I realize that to some extent its at college where the training wheels really come off.

So far my experience @ UCI has been rather positive, my roommates seem cool and the campus is great in my opinion. So I guess the whole thing about losing all your friends from HS and picking up newer and possibly better ones at college is true. But having just got here I haven't had much oppurtunity to really get to know anyone, which only makes me feel more lonely. This is all happening while I'm still trying to adjust to a life without my parents. Now when I play games I have this nagging thought at the back of my head that always asks me "Is there something really urgent and nesscary that needs to be done but its not going to because I'm playing this game?" The knowledge that there will be no one to pick up the mess if I mess up is really drilling a hole into my head. This damn thought really takes a lot of the fun out of my games, maybe its just me realizing I've outgrown my games, maybe its just this new environment making me uncomfortable all around. I also have doubts about how I will be able to handle the college workload. People tell me college work is rather different from high school work, others tell me its not always the case. In anycase I guess I will have to wait and see how its like, but from the names of the classes and the number of them I should have it rather easy (For those of you who are wondering, im taking Writing 39A, Econ 1, Math 2B and University Studies 3).

More concerns for me new life lies with my fianances. while my parents have been nice enough to cover tuition for now they say I may have to pay for it on my own later. I will also need to raise my own money for my own uses, like food, or discretionary uses. In other words I need to find a part time job. I've already learned from my summer courses at a local community college that those god damned text books are overpriced. Bloody god damn text books, a small little (compared to most normal textbooks) paperback Econ textbook costs 100+ dollars. My writing class requires a shitload of books that put together nears 200 dollars. I could go on and whine'n bitch about the cost of books but I don't think I need to elaborate anymore on this matter. So other than books I'll also need money to feed myself and to make other purchases like new clothes and whatnot.

Well I'm getting tired now, I'll type up more stuff on some other day (hopefully on a regular basis as well).

P.S My apologies for the block of text.

Currently Playing: Games: Company of Heroes, WoW. Music: Daft Punk, Gnarls Barkely

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