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Monkey King's Journal

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VeryOriginalSass: Man, you're going to end up dressing your bitch up as a squirrel, aren't you.

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Entries 199 entries in total [view entry calendar]
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Sep 26, 2007 - 05:02 PM
My job is like driving through the uncanny valley.
While I appreciate the efforts made to make automated menu systems more personable, they just get downright creepy when the computer voice tries to emote. Please, automated menu recording people for the love of God keep the recordings flat and professional.


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[public entry #99]

Sep 25, 2007 - 10:25 PM
70 minutes of the Super Mario Bros underground theme
I am so tempted to make that my swap CD. I'd be the biggest asshole in the world, but on a certain level it would be hilarious as all get out.


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[public entry #98]

Sep 25, 2007 - 03:08 PM
Apparently I am too incompetent to use a pen
I have ink marks all over my hands. I think I even managed to get a pen mark on my forehead. I look like freaking Charlie Brown here. It's a ballpoint pen, and I've been keeping it capped when I'm not using it. I must be sleepier than I thought.

Gah, I even marked on the keyboard. What is this?


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[public entry #97]

Sep 21, 2007 - 10:42 AM
I must be serious sleep deprived or something
...to find this as funny as I do

"Stated Reason For Leaving: TO DRIVE A TRUCK"

I know what that means, but the picture it conjures up in my mind is this guy quitting his job so he can drive around in his pickup truck all day, screaming like a meth'd up redneck. I keep giggling about it off and on.


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[public entry #96]

Sep 20, 2007 - 12:30 PM
I guess I should put some thought into the CD for the swap, then
At least I don't have to worry about tailoring it to someone specific. Still, questions remain. Do I fill it up with songs I like? A bunch of wierd stuff? The wierd stuff that I know is crap nobody likes but I enjoy listening to anyway?

It's a tricky balance. I don't want my recipient to feel like they ended up with a boobie prize, but if it's full of safe, generic songs then it's hardly a personalized CD from Monkey King.

EDIT FOR SASS:
I WORK FOR KROLL. THEY DO BACKGROUND CHECKS. I CALL PEOPLE UP AND ASK THEM TO VERIFY DATES OF EMPLOYMENT AND JOB POSITIONS. THEN THEY TELL ME TO REFER TO THE WORK NUMBER WEBSITE AND I TELL THEM I LOOKED AT THE WORK NUMBER AND THE INFORMATION DOESN'T MATCH WHAT WE WERE TOLD AND PLEASE CONNECT ME TO A HUMAN BEING SO WE CAN CLEAR THIS UP IS THERE ANYONE ELSE I CAN TALK TO.

Protip: If you work for CVS Pharmacy or Bank of America, don't bother listing them as job references. It is... hard to get verifications out of them.


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[public entry #95]

Sep 19, 2007 - 04:09 PM
Hooray, more work
Well, this is happening partly because my department is easily on top of its workload, so it's not like we're being buried here. It seems the division in Canada are a bunch of slackers and are falling way behind, so until the 28th the company is sending a bunch of reports to us. I'll really have to start making with the coffee in the morning, but on the upside getting a lot of recognition from the higher-ups can't be a bad thing.


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[public entry #94]

Sep 19, 2007 - 12:30 PM
lol timezones
"Hey, let's call up this company in Hawaii at 10 AM! I'm sure there won't be any problems with that." The guy who answered was a pretty good sport, though; I guess us dumb ignorant mainlanders do this a lot.

The worst part of this background screening job is when all the information lines up, and everything seems to be verified, but I still have to call people up just to verify that "Barista" means the same thing as "Counter Help". I'm sure there's enough corner cases where semantics really do make a difference, and I'm being paid by someone to be thorough and professional in my research, but it doesn't make me feel any less silly.


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[public entry #93]

Sep 18, 2007 - 08:35 AM
It has been 1966 in my car all morning
:333
91.1 FM, WRBU in Nashville. I don't know where this station came from; it was on my car's presets as I was going through the radio trying to get a traffic report. Next thing I know I'm blasting base and sitar and songs about flowers all the way into work. I feel so groovy right now.

The best part was when the DJ came on. That woman was so baked she could barely read the on-air ads. Try to picture someone like that reading a breast cancer awareness plug. I'm all "Damn woman, it's not even 9 AM yet."

Currently Playing: Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah (hippie version)

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[public entry #92]

Sep 17, 2007 - 08:29 AM
I guess it could always be worse
I was going to make an entry lamenting the fact that my car wouldn't start this morning, but LeHah's recent entries sort of took all the whine out of me.


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[public entry #91]

Sep 15, 2007 - 06:13 PM
No wonder PC ports of Playstation games never caught on
PC Megaman Legends barely seems to even run. Despite doing a full install, none of the cutscenes work properly; the audio immediately goes south. That, and you'd think on the PC there'd at least be some token graphical settings to take advantage of a PC's generally superior hardware. I'm surprised my gamepad was actually supported.

Then again, I may be asking too much considering this IS Capcom we're talking about. Compatibility checks and additional features would be work, after all.


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[public entry #90]

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