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May 18, 2009 - 07:14 PM |
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Perturbatory Experience |
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Good evening, gentlemen of gamingforce.
I thought I might share with you a most perturbatory experience to which I was subjected this morrow. You see, chaps, I departed my domicile this morning, as is my wont, and was just making ready to mount my bicycle and begin the perambulation to my place of employment when I beheld a disturbing sight: to wit, my bicycle was gone from its usual resting place.
I looked around and beheld a figure riding off into the distance on what I quickly discerned to be my bicycle. The figure, I quickly ascertained, was of dusky countenance and woollen hair and I was at once put in mind of the dark-skinned savages who inhabit our colonies in darkest Africa. As you may imagine, my good men, I was quite taken aback by such a development for I had been unaware that the negro had penetrated so far into our green and pleasant land and I was yet more taken aback by the knowledge that this raving hottentot had made off with my means of transportation.
"I say!" I shouted. "I say, negro! That's my bicycle you're making off with! Return it at once or I shall summon a constable!" To my exasperation, the larcenous piccaninny did not return my property but, instead, yelled aloud some comment in his own primitive language. I do not know if it was Swahili, Xhosa or some Bugandan dialect for I am but little educated in the ways of darkest Africa, but I will say that it sounded very much like "get back, muddafugga!", a term whose meaning I can only guess at.
That, then, is my story, dear gentlemen of gamingforce and I would have your counsel on how to proceed, how to recover my property and how to take proper retribution on this chocolate-skinned felon.
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