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Gamingforce Choco Journal
AlphaDeus's Journal

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Aug 3, 2010 - 08:49 AM
I completely forgot this ChocoJournal existed.
Seriously, where the hell have I been?

This is mainly a shout-out to all my old friends at Gamingforce. If you don't know who I am, I hope the name IKarusZino rings a bell .

I hate to say it, but I drifted away from this place and no matter how many times I tried to come back, I just couldn't do it. Everything is different now. Different people, seemingly different overall attitude. I wish I could come back, so I'm going to try again.

The thing that originally pulled me away from Gamingforce was Final Fantasy XI back in 2003 or so. I became so obsessed with the game that I played it non-stop for almost a year, which almost broke me and Jonquil up. I basically went into my shell and didn't really try to come back out.

A lot has happened. I've had quite a few jobs. I quit my most recent job in December of 2009 due to safety issues. I didn't really have a good plan, and now I'm unemployed and broke. I also found out through doctors that I have ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome which explains everything about me.

I realize Asperger's has somewhat of a bad reputation due to morons using it as an excuse to behave badly. I'm not one of those morons. I take full responsibility for my actions. The problem I have with Asperger's Syndrome is the over-sensory issues. My sense of touch is so fucking jacked up that coming into contact with most materials actually causes me pain to touch. It is causing me a great deal of depression, especially with my relationship.

Other than that ground-breaking revelation, I've just been working on my music. I've tried to share my music here several times and doubt I got much attention, which is OK. I'm not really much for getting attention. In fact, Gamingforce is the only place that gave me any sort of serious attention, and for that I am grateful. I just wish I wasn't so self-destructive, earning my reputation for most times quitting something :P

I just want to let you know I'm doing OK. I also would like to reach out to the oldbies individually if possible to see how they are doing.

If anyone is interested in my music, it's all over at Alphadeus.com. I'm a bit of a savant with the piano (very small bit ). I do "Piano Journals" which is just me playing the piano, whatever I feel like, for however long I feel like. I hope you enjoy what you listen to.

Glad to see this place is still here. I really want to try to just come back if possible. I look forward to reconnecting with oldbies as well as making new friends. Take care.


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May 18, 2008 - 10:43 PM
If you like Bonsly in Smash Brothers Brawl.
Then celebrate by listening to this pointless dance mix I made for him =p

Bonsly (In da club mix)


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Dec 25, 2006 - 01:48 AM
Happy Holidays, GFF
I just wanted to say Happy Holidays. I may not be an active part of this community anymore, but I will never forget the memories. And who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to jump right back in and take my rightful place as the second coolest person on the forum :P

Here's a gift from me. You've heard my Piano Journals, but have you heard my "Orchestra Strings" Journal?! I think not!

Orchestra Strings 12-24-06


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Dec 3, 2006 - 10:01 PM
Please listen to my music.
This seems to be a recurring thing with me. I try to promote my free music, in hopes of getting either praise or criticism, but what ends up happening is no one really acknowledges me, so I get frustrated, tear down my website, and give up music for other leisure like video games.

This time I really want to push my music. All I ask is you give one of my tunes a listen and let me know what you think. You can be as harsh or as nice as you want. Back in the old days people used to help or hurt me and it was a great learning process. I was GFF Composer of the year back in the old days, so that should count for something :P

I'm not hoping to become famous with my music, I just want to know what people think. People told me they have found my music to be joyful, and that's my main goal. To make people happy by speaking a language I feel I am fluent in. The language of music.

http://www.alphadeus.com

I reccomend Abstract for Orchestra, Walking in Circles, and Against the Wind :P Thank you for taking the time to read this.


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Gamingforce Choco Journal
AlphaDeus's Journal


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