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Jessykins's Journal

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Dec 14, 2013 - 06:49 AM
Guess what dyke got Book of Mormon tickets?!
This one! I'm pretty excited. That's all.


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[public entry #258]

Oct 5, 2013 - 01:19 AM
I saw Gravity in 3D.
Now I'm so scared of space I don't want to even look at the sky.


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[public entry #257]

Jul 17, 2012 - 07:36 AM
My thoughts on the new seasons of Breaking Bad, Weeds, and True Blood...


I think that makes my point adequately. Oh, also, the Newsroom is pretty good too. I watch too much TV.


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[public entry #256]

Jun 30, 2012 - 11:08 PM
"Paul ejaculates voluminously and with very great force indeed..."
"In fact, he keeps on and on ejaculating, there's loads of the stuff, out it all comes, pint after pint, and he begins to wonder if it will ever cease"

Reading that on this article on huffington post made me laugh.

Reading it and then picturing this:

YouTube Video

made me laugh REALLY REALLY HARD. I have a very refined sense of humor.


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[public entry #255]

Jun 19, 2012 - 05:58 AM
Dragon's Dogma
This game is pretty fucking sweet. I really can't seem to stop wanting to play it. Kind of surprised I didn't see any of you GFF folk playing it ever. Did you guys get it on the ps3 or just not care?

Either way I'd say check it out.


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Apr 20, 2012 - 04:51 PM
As an actual weed enthusiast, here's what 4/20 means to me...
Response to: hey guys its 420 by Misogynyst Gynecologist

I'll always just remember it as the day I got to watch the Columbine shooting take place on a shitty TV in a shitty hospice in NYC while my mother was dying down the hall.

WOO! TIME TO SMOKE A BOWL.

Spoiler:
or a thousand bowls



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[public entry #253]

Apr 13, 2012 - 01:20 AM
Today I paid $112 for my doctor to get angry with me
And tell me that if I feel so bad then to just go ahead and fix the things that make me feel bad.

Gee, thanks doc! All I wanted was some fucking Xanax or something so I can tolerate being EYE FUCKED all day at work by bikers and meth addicts but that's cool too.


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[public entry #252]

Mar 18, 2012 - 06:46 PM
Today at 1:30 am.
I was out buying ice cream because I was high.

My friend's little brother was also dying of an OD.

The ice cream was really good.


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[public entry #251]

Mar 8, 2012 - 01:01 AM
The best lesbian pick up line I've ever heard.
So today I am at Whole Foods buying an assortment of unhealthy delicious things (without my girlfriend) and make my way to the checkout. As I often do, I went to the lane with the shortest line and the hottest cashier, who happened to be some sort of mixed girl that looks sort of like Rihanna but with a weird curly mohawk thing. I've seen her multiple times before and I liked her style so that's where I went. Anyway, this is where it got good.

"I love your shirt," she said as she rang the stuff up. It was purple and fairly nice I guess. It's a good, rich color, but nothing fancy as far as cloth.

"Oh, thanks! Purple is my absolute favorite color," I say back. This is when it got good. There's a long pause as we finish ringing out and as she hands me the last bag our eyes meet.

"Well," she says, "MY favorite color... is PINK."

She follows this with a sort of eyebrow raise like, Eh? EH?! And being the brilliant mind I am, I say, "That would probably be my second favorite!" and start toward the exit.

It wasn't until I got to my car that I realized what had just happened. How many cute dykes have I tricked into thinking I wouldn't be interested?! I mean I guess it's better that I was a dummy that walked off instead of having to tell her no, but still...

Who am I kidding? I can't ever say no.


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Mar 3, 2012 - 02:56 AM
I get called a slut all the time.
Where's MY call from the president?


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[public entry #249]

Feb 29, 2012 - 02:51 AM
Today I cried at work (for a really strange reason)
During rehearsals I got asked to the close the doors since some strange music from outside the room was bothering people. So I did, and while I'm out in the hall I hear the music a little better so I decide to investigate. I can tell it's a single flute and as I sort of stalk along I find an ajar fire escape door. I open it and peek in and what do I see? A middle aged dude playing a flute by himself, and wandering up and down the stairs with his eyes closed. He dressed normal, looked normal, but yep... was playing a fucking flute.

The song he was playing was so beautiful it made me cry. When he finally noticed me I asked what it was because it fucking made me cry and he got all surprised and said he was just making it up as he went along.

It might have been bullshit, but still, it made my day.


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Feb 5, 2012 - 07:59 PM
Chronicle was fucking cool.
In before Deni and Lehah tell me otherwise.


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[public entry #247]

Jan 31, 2012 - 05:34 PM
More thoughts on Dark Souls
-I have died a billion times

-Black Knights have great weapons!

-Ceaseless Discharge is the grossest name for a boss ever


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[public entry #246]

Jan 25, 2012 - 07:05 AM
Ever feel like everything is turning to shit?
And that all the relationships you've cultivated over the years are all for naught, as your friends all leave and stop talking to you and the ones who stay around stop talking to you anyway because they've got entirely new friends and groups they hang around with and you never did and never will?

No?

Oh, okay.


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Jan 23, 2012 - 05:39 PM
Dark Souls is the biggest bunch of bullshit
Fuck Japan.

FUCK EVERYBODY.


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[public entry #244]

Jan 16, 2012 - 05:45 AM
Just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes
A lot less genital tearing, finger biting, and limb ripping than I expected/hoped for in a movie about chimps taking over, but I liked it.

Also, I got the little purple bubbles on my cursor when I went to make this entry and spent about ten minutes playing with it. I am a child.


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[public entry #243]

Jan 10, 2012 - 02:51 AM
A sign from the fighting game gods?
While I was driving to pick my girlfriend up today, I was considering whether or not I would get Soul Calibur V. I Weighed the pros and cons of the new game in my head, and as I am pulling off the freeway, a black muscle car pulls in front of me with the license plate 'OP IVY'

I hear Ivy is far from overpowered, so he won't fool me. But I did find it a funny coincidence.


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Jan 7, 2012 - 03:07 AM
I just recently found myself with health insurance.
Active as of, like, yesterday. So I went to pick up a refill of the prescriptions I had been taking for my back and it cost a dollar. One dollar. Compared to the twenty I would've paid.

Fuck this country.


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[public entry #241]

Jan 3, 2012 - 05:28 PM
Got Colonel Service Star #1 on Battlefield 3 last night and I realized...
I've become one of THOSE PEOPLE.

The problem is, I am being led on. I feel like I must have gotten better with my consistent experience with the game, but I am pretty sure I just feel that way because of all the new people who showed up at Christmas.

Son of a bitch.


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Dec 29, 2011 - 06:18 PM
Fuck.
That mother fucker has no idea how inconvenient he's made my life. I've been dry for almost THREE DAYS.

Suicide (inadvertent or otherwise) is so tragic.


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Dec 28, 2011 - 03:46 AM
Holy shit, my drug dealer got shot to death.
By himself, apparently. That makes two I've lost thanks to their own foolishness. CAN'T A BITCH GET SOME CHEAP, DECENT POT WITHOUT SOMEONE DYING?!


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Oct 22, 2011 - 01:40 AM
I might actually buy an fps!
And it might be Battlefield 3!


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Oct 19, 2011 - 04:26 PM
Never ever read the fucking comments on a news post EVER.
I don't think I've wanted to watch everybody on this planet die agonizing deaths more than I do right at this moment.


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[public entry #236]

Oct 12, 2011 - 02:29 AM
Today I went from a 27" SDTV to a 43" HDTV. My thoughts.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. JESUS CHRIST I CAN ACTUALLY READ SHIT IN VIDEO GAMES. LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CAKE. GOD DAMN HE IS A SWEET GENIUS.


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Aug 19, 2011 - 04:35 PM
FREE THE WEST MEMPHIS THR- Oh, they did. Awesome.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/...32057320110819

Too bad they'll never convict nor punish the man who actually killed those children, despite the evidence tying him to the murders.

Fuck middle America.

Also, I recommend watching the two Paradise Lost documentaries. Especially if you enjoy being enraged by ignorance.


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Jul 15, 2011 - 08:22 PM
NEW STORY TIME!
For those of you that care I have finally completed part 2 of Reciprocity.

Get that shit right here.


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Jul 3, 2011 - 05:23 AM
E74 finally strikes my 360 down.
It was a first generation one, so I'm honestly surprised it lasted this long. I am also pissed the fuck off.


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Mar 16, 2011 - 05:59 AM
Dragon Age 2 in a nutshell:
1. Run around Kirkwall
2. Credits

Thanks for the rush job, EA.


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[public entry #231]

Mar 12, 2011 - 04:04 AM
I had my first run-in with a genuine Tea Party dipshit today!
So I was at the hospital today (don't ask), when this woman comes in. I don't pay much attention to her, really, until she decides to get the channel changed from CNN earthquake stuff to something else. The TV ends up on Telemundo. Then this is what I hear:

"Put it on 21! At least let us get THE TRUTH!" (21 is Fox News here)

Telemundo, on this TV, IS 21 for some reason. So they put it back on CNN. Flustered by this whole ordeal she comes and plops herself down next to me. I make the mistake of looking into her eyes and she says, "I got a joke for you."

I tell her to let me hear it. Here it is:

"President Obama and Vice President Biden are on a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean. Who survives?"

Naturally, I ask who.

"AMERICA," she tells me, wide-eyed and proud. I stare back. Not even a grin or a smile. I just STARE while she chuckles to herself. The family next to me begins to get a little irritated, bringing up how the earthquake coverage had nothing to do with Obama and so forth, but she seems to be tuning them out. She is waiting on my approval for some reason.

"Good joke, huh," she asks me.

"No. that was a fucking AWFUL joke. Get AWAY from me," I tell her quite bluntly.

To which she replies, "I won't stay where I'm not welcome."

She then gets up and leaves. SHE LEAVES THE HOSPITAL ENTIRELY.

Fucking Obamacare.


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Mar 4, 2011 - 02:40 PM
A Dance With Dragons ACTUALLY has a release date?!
This year is looking to be awesome for fantasy fans and also in general. Let's make a list of things to be interested in, shall we? Of course we shall. Fuck you.

1. Game of Thrones premieres on HBO April 17th
2. A Dance With Dragons on July 12th
3. Republic of Thieves (supposedly) this fall
4. Dragon Age 2 in like a week
5. Elder Scrolls V hopefully later in the year

Also Saints Row the Third has been officially announced. I officially came.


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Jan 21, 2011 - 03:39 AM
Recommend to me a book!
I have a couple of $50 Borders cards sitting here from Christmas and was looking for suggestions. I am a fan of fantasy and crime fiction and pretty much everything as long as its good (or at least entertaining).

Let me hear what you've got.


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Jan 11, 2011 - 08:53 AM
Been wondering where I disappeared to?
Well I started playing WoW again. Yeah, shut up. I said from the start that if they made Goblins playable I'd come back. I was true to my word because I FUCKING LOVE GOBLINS.

I mean LOOK at this adorable thing. God damn.



I said SHUT UP.


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Nov 26, 2010 - 07:43 AM
I wonder...
Will we see more Black Friday related deaths this year or less?

I'm betting more.


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Oct 24, 2010 - 04:13 AM
Ah, yes.
There is just something magical about playing video games while on opiates.


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Oct 14, 2010 - 01:33 AM
I like how nobody noticed it was my birthday
Fuck you guys!


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Aug 24, 2010 - 09:30 PM
Piranha 3D
Best movie I've seen for free all year. Shit was HILARIOUS.


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Aug 17, 2010 - 02:25 AM
A friend of mine is having a threesome with his girlfriend and her sister
I, however, barely get any at all anymore. And not for lack of trying, let me tell you.

Oh, also, my dealer got "robbed" and won't be able to get me anything. Also she suddenly is going out of town tomorrow for two weeks.

I am full of hate.


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Jun 23, 2010 - 01:20 PM
Finnfreakout.gif






(I love making gifs)


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Jun 21, 2010 - 11:15 PM
"You know the penalty for stealing boots!"
Tonight's episode of Adventure Time is Ocean of Fear. Some scenes are hilarious, but this episode is really cool if just for the fact that it shows more scenery that makes it pretty clear the show takes place in some post-apocalypse world. You'll see.


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Jun 14, 2010 - 10:49 PM
"Does it please you to watch me struggle?"
Tonight's Adventure Time is What is Life? an episode with a few really good moments and more Ice King being depressingly alone. Enjoy!


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Jun 8, 2010 - 05:07 AM
"You guys are so cute! I could just maul you to death."
Response to: "My jammies!" by Jessykins

Witch's Garden is the episode of this week. Definitely has some funny parts, even if it's not a riot the whole way through.


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May 26, 2010 - 04:25 PM
"My jammies!"
Response to: "Whoa! I'm alive!" by Jessykins

This week's episode was City of Thieves. Not the funniest, but it certainly had parts that had me cracking up.

It seems like the new episode/old episode thing is going to be standard now, which is kind of lame.



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"You guys are so cute! I could just maul you to death." by Jessykins

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[public entry #216]

May 13, 2010 - 04:31 PM
"Whoa! I'm alive!"
Response to: BOOM! BOOM! by Jessykins

A few days late, but here's the new Adventure Time from monday: Wizard. For some reason they showed Trouble In Lumpy Space again after it, so there was just the one.



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"My jammies!" by Jessykins

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[public entry #215]

May 3, 2010 - 10:38 PM
BOOM! BOOM!
Response to: You look like a big, pink baguette by Jessykins

What time is it? That's fucking right. Adventure Time.

Tonight's episodes were My Two Favorite People and Boom Boom Mountain.

Not the best or worst episodes, but definitely funny at parts. I love Lady Raincorn.



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"Whoa! I'm alive!" by Jessykins

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[public entry #214]

Apr 30, 2010 - 02:10 PM
After a year I finally write a new story.
Yep. It's happened.

You can find it HERE or if you're that unwilling to go the CC you can get it THERE.

Yeah, it's a little long at 30 pages, but if you are bored or something feel free to read it and tell me what you think.

Also trying something new making it a webpage instead. Colonel Skills can be thanked for that.


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Apr 26, 2010 - 10:21 PM
You look like a big, pink baguette
It's Adventure Time! This week we have Ricardio The Heart Guy and Business Time (again). Since the latter was already uploaded...

Ricardio The Heart Guy.

Oh yeah and George Takei voices Ricardio.



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BOOM! BOOM! by Jessykins

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[public entry #212]

Apr 19, 2010 - 10:41 PM
Every time you say no we'll destroy an old lady!
Response to: My adventurous instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter by Jessykins

New episode time, fools. This week it's Enchiridion and The Jiggler. Enchiridion has more laugh out loud moments if you ask me, but the Jiggler is just so god damned cute.

Enchiridion/The Jiggler


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Apr 13, 2010 - 03:45 AM
My adventurous instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter
Response to: ADVENTURE TIME HAS NOT STOPPED. by Jessykins

Yes it is time again. ADVENTURE TIME.

Prisoners of Love and Tree Trunks.

These two are pretty good but for different reasons. The second is a bad end even worse than HUG END (thankz CHz).



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Every time you say no we'll destroy an old lady! by Jessykins

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[public entry #210]

Apr 6, 2010 - 05:14 PM
ADVENTURE TIME HAS NOT STOPPED.
Response to: IT'S STILL ADVENTURE TIME YOU FAGGOTS. by Jessykins

Slumber Party Panic.

This was the premiere episode. Definitely up there with Evicted if you ask me. But you didn't. Fuck you.



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My adventurous instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter by Jessykins

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Apr 2, 2010 - 09:09 PM
Time to play Russian Roulette with my father.
SEMIAUTOSHOTGUN
He just purchased a .38 revolver today. I didn't get to see it due to the waiting period thing, but it sounds interesting. I am not quite sure how I feel about it at the moment. I kind of have a hard-on for guns, but not in a weird teabagger right-wing kind of way. I just think they're cool.

However, my dad has become strangely paranoid lately, and I wonder if this gun purchase is just a step in a dark direction for him. He's been talking about getting a cabin or a house in Caliente, farther away from major cities and able to easily be defended/hunkered down in. I mean, I get that things look a little scary these days, but really? I don't want my dad to turn into one of "those guys".

On the plus side, now that he has breached the "family owning guns" barrier it means I can finally get the gun I've always wanted:


God, that thing makes me wet.


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Mar 24, 2010 - 04:51 PM
The further adventures of Coach Jake.
Quote:
Jacob says:
2 days, 2 girls crying
*flex*
Calm down, weenies says:
Haha what from?
Jacob says:
Yesterday I removed this girl from practice because she was sucking
and she started crying
Today girls were doing cartwheels in the outfield instead of working
Calm down, weenies says:
Show them what for
Jacob says:
so I told them to come in and said that I'm not gonna be a coach that screams
if they don't give a shit, I don't give a shit
So I left
Calm down, weenies says:
Haha, wow
Jacob says:
And they asked me what to do as I was walking away
and I told them I didn't care
and one of the girls started to cry
Calm down, weenies says:
Haha man
You're not the coach that screams
You're the coach that leaves deep abandonment issues
Jacob says:
Exactly
Honestly though
I am obligated by my contract to show up to a game
Calm down, weenies says:
But not practice?
Jacob says:
Nope
Calm down, weenies says:
Awesome
Jacob says:
I think that got to them, because I got a ton of texts from players apologizing
And I said It's too late for apologies!
Maybe we can work something else out...
Calm down, weenies says:
lol
You're a monster
Jacob says:
Ehh
Twenty years from now they'll be able to appear on Miley Cyrus's hit talk show
And I'll be just working at a school somewhere
Who wins?
Softball is no joke.


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Mar 22, 2010 - 11:16 PM
IT'S STILL ADVENTURE TIME YOU FAGGOTS.
Response to: What time is it? ADVENTURE TIME! by Jessykins

Another episode was just released today!

http://www.mediafire.com/?mnwejgldnjb - Trouble In Lumpy Space.

WATCH IT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?



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ADVENTURE TIME HAS NOT STOPPED. by Jessykins

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Mar 21, 2010 - 05:55 PM
What time is it? ADVENTURE TIME!
Some of you may have seen the pilot for this show on Youtube. Did you know that it got bought and is now going to be a series on Cartoon Network? If you didn't, you do now. But did you also know that they have shown two preview episodes over the past couple weeks to lead up to the premiere (April 5th)? Well you do now.

Did you know I am going to link you guys to downloads of these preview episodes?

http://www.mediafire.com/?no5krzlwzdz -Evicted!

http://www.mediafire.com/?mhnj2jeznz1 - Business Time

Well, you do now. Download them. Watch them. Enjoy them. Then stare at Acer's new avatar for about ten minutes. Then mine. Then go to bed.

Currently Playing: the most dangerous game of all


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IT'S STILL ADVENTURE TIME YOU FAGGOTS. by Jessykins

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[public entry #205]

Mar 5, 2010 - 04:15 AM
I miss Firefly and Pushing Daisies.
I have never been so fond of a TV show that thinking about its cancellation actually makes me flush red with anger, but these two shows do it.

Television needs more shows like those. Fuck Fox and fuck ABC.


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[public entry #204]

Mar 4, 2010 - 02:27 AM
My friend is the best coach ever.
Quote:
Jacob says:
Goddammit Jess
These girls are so bad at sports
Like
imagine you playing softball
but 13 of you
I'm a dinosaur says:
Really?
That bad?
13 of ME?
Jacob says:
I mean, not in one
I'm a dinosaur says:
Yeah I get it
each girl is one of me
Jacob says:
One awkward gangly clone of you
This softball team is going straight to the top, I can tell.



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[public entry #203]

Feb 5, 2010 - 02:55 PM
I haven't made an entry since the 25th!
and I'm not gonna start now.

brb Mass Effect 2


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[public entry #202]

Jan 25, 2010 - 04:17 PM
Now that I have a new computer I can enjoy PC gaming...
And all the finer things it brings.



Fuck yes. I love mods.


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[public entry #201]

Jan 14, 2010 - 11:31 PM
One of my favorite rappers was on Blind Date
I wasn't sure if this was real at first, but it seems that Busdriver was in fact on Blind Date. He wore a shirt of himself. I fucking love this guy.

YouTube Video



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[public entry #200]

Jan 4, 2010 - 05:51 PM
Ooooh man
If my girlfriend keeps giving me shit for spending my money on a much-needed computer when her smoking habits cost us $180 every TWO WEEKS (sometimes only a week and a half) I am going to punch her in the fucking mouth.


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[public entry #199]

Jan 2, 2010 - 09:49 PM
New computer time. Input plz.
So I have decided for now to get THIS combo and THIS optical drive and THIS video card.

Is this good? Will this work for someone not doing a lot of gaming? Will my dumb ass be able to put this together? Fuck, I hope so.

If anybody has cheaper or better suggestions I am open to them.


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[public entry #198]

Dec 24, 2009 - 08:47 PM
More Dyketective comics? Sign me up.
http://robot6.comicbookresources.com...for-next-year/

Yeah. Oh hell yeah.


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[public entry #197]

Dec 23, 2009 - 04:11 PM
Today I visited my old comic book store.
It was weird. Despite it having moved to a bigger, nicer location it's still organized the same and with the same layout. Just bigger. It used to be run by two brothers, one of whom was still working there and recognized me.

"I remember you. You're that girl who used to come in every weekend," he told me. And yes, that was me at like, 12. I asked him how his brother was.

"He died last year."

SO. I'll be taking these issues of Powers and Detective Comics, thank you.

I really hate moments like that.


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[public entry #196]

Dec 16, 2009 - 02:00 AM
Going to need a new computer soon. Halp.
Let me start by saying I don't know how to build one. Custom building one is something I wouldn't mind doing if it could be put together and I'd know if it'd work, but I am not sure how/where to do that.

Any ideas?


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[public entry #195]

Dec 15, 2009 - 12:05 AM
I got a new car and now I need YOU to choose my plate!
Yes, I am planning on getting a personalized plate this time and am having trouble coming up with good ideas. That's where you fuckers come in.

Go to this thing right here and check the availability of ideas you have and post them in the comments if they are available! You get seven spaces. Make me proud!

Bonus points if I actually end up getting it.


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[public entry #194]

Dec 5, 2009 - 07:00 PM
Yes it is! So download this DA:O gamerip instead!
Response to: Dragon Age Music is Awesome edit also BLACK STALLION by DieSeLFueLeD

Dragon Age: Origins Gamerip

Complete with ambient music that isn't on the regular soundtrack! Want to listen to The Fade music while on shrooms? This is the soundtrack to get.

Except Denicalis. He's not allowed.

Currently Playing: Calenhad Docks. Fuck yeah.

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[public entry #193]

Nov 27, 2009 - 05:31 AM
What I'm thankful for:
The female butt.


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[public entry #192]

Nov 26, 2009 - 03:40 PM
Bohemian Rhapsody as done by The Muppets
YouTube Video

This shit is great.


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[public entry #191]

Nov 23, 2009 - 04:20 PM
So, you saw New Moon...
I don't want to hear your excuses. If you paid money to see it, you are bad. You are BAD.


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[public entry #190]

Nov 18, 2009 - 06:43 AM
Modern Warfare 2: my thoughts
A very exciting five hours of campaign!


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[public entry #189]

Nov 11, 2009 - 06:21 PM
Well, I rented MW2.
Let's see what all the fuss is about.


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[public entry #188]

Oct 26, 2009 - 03:26 AM
A message from John Lithgow




Response entries:
A message from John Lithgow and friends by Final Fantasy Phoneteen

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[public entry #187]

Oct 13, 2009 - 12:38 AM
The sense of dread that accompanies a... birthday?
As I do every year I am getting more and more nervous about tomorrow. What will go wrong? Who will hurt me this time?

Nobody should have to get to this point.



Response entries:
Buuurthday present for jess by Zip

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[public entry #186]

Oct 11, 2009 - 02:43 PM
"I hope you aren't raped and stabbed in the cunt"
My girlfriend's mother said that and other, often more disgusting variations of that to my girlfriend and myself yesterday in one of those sarcastic I-really-hope-it-does-actually-happen kind of voices. Why was she acting like this? Because I wouldn't pick my girlfriend and her sister up exactly where she wanted me to. Yeah.

Have you ever met someone who has to control others just because they can? Even if it means making people angry or inconveniencing everybody they always want to have them under their thumb and will use any leverage they can. Fear, intimidation, violence, shame, anything. That's what she does to my girlfriend who, then, bawling to me, will make me do whatever it is that needs to be done because she can't drive herself anywhere and because she refuses to write the stupid cunt off.

Why? "She's family" or "I want her to love me"

This woman is an entirely selfish, spoiled sociopath, just like her fucking sister (my girlfriend's aunt). That's what we're dealing with. A woman who has, her entire life, never had any consequences to her actions. Whose rich father bails her out of any jam. Wreck the car while driving on pain killers? He'll fix it. Get the house foreclosed on? He'll put you up somewhere, go look for an apartment. Find an apartment that's much more than he wanted to pay and know he'll say no if you tell him? Fuck it, give them a down payment in secret and force him to go along with it since you'd be homeless otherwise. Just do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. NOBODY WILL STOP YOU.

This is what she actually believes. Because so far it's fucking true.

Not once has this worthless whore ever been socked in the mouth for accosting people in public, or treating her kids like shit, or ruining something like six marriages, or abusing and using everybody she knows. She owns a gun. She is a deather and a birther and a teabagger and every other nutjob piece of shit title you can have these days. She is unemployed, loves Glenn Beck, and sits and pops soma and painkillers all day, just waiting for him to come on.

When my girlfriend came out to her, she broke one of her ribs and told her she'd rather she was dead than a dyke.

This is the woman she is trying to get to love her. She bends over fucking backwards for this stupid cunt half the time and I am honestly at the end of my rope. I've told her before that her mother doesn't love her. She doesn't love ANYBODY. Not even herself. She's just fucking using people to get by. I can't sit here and watch my girlfriend get used this way and not do anything about it because of "family"

Of course, when I bring it up, what happens? She thinks I am just being bitter. Oh, I already hate my family, it's easy for me. It doesn't mean the same. My grandparents and much of my extended family may hate me, but they never broke a rib. They never stole my cashed paycheck and claimed that they were owed it for an unexplained reason. They never had someone hold my arms so they could hit me. If anything, in comparison, my mutual hatred with my family is the unreasonable response. She has EVERY reason to hate this woman YET SHE DOESN'T.

I am getting so tired of it. Every day this woman ruins another day of hers, and my girlfriend refuses to stop trying with her, I feel like I am closer and closer to the edge. Either she'll put the woman out of her (our) life, or I will be out of it.


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[public entry #185]

Oct 10, 2009 - 02:25 AM
Just caught The Promotion on HBO
I was surprised at how funny the movie was. Did not expect it to be that entertaining.

Anybody else see this? Seemed like something I missed. I didn't even recall seeing it advertised or in theatres.


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[public entry #184]

Sep 28, 2009 - 10:09 PM
Reefer Madness
I saw a community college performance of it yesterday. It was actually rather well done, considering. The musical parts were the ones that clearly got the most love, but all in all, very entertaining. What do you want for twelve bucks?

Also there's this:










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[public entry #183]

Sep 26, 2009 - 10:58 PM
Do you know??
YouTube Video

I love these fucking things.

YouTube Video

YouTube Video



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[public entry #182]

Sep 18, 2009 - 02:56 PM
A plot on my life or just bad luck?
Totally forgot to mention this, but a couple days ago I was driving home and my brakes pretty much stopped working around a block from my house. I practically had to coast home.

The next morning, my dad and I took a look beneath the car to see what was up. I put more brake fluid in, since it had all drained, and had him press on the brakes to see what was up. One of my brake hoses was hemorrhaging fluid every time he pressed down. The wound to the hose is a very thin little cut, like a slice.

So really, the question I have is WHICH ONE OF YOU COCKSUCKERS IS TRYING TO KILL ME!? HUH?! IT DIDN'T WORK.

I'M FUCKING COMING FOR YOU, FAGGOT. BELIEVE IT.


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[public entry #181]

Aug 19, 2009 - 09:25 PM
Last night I had a strange dream...
I guess I was cramming things into my ass. Like gradually bigger and bigger things.

When I woke up my butt was sore.

What the fuck?


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[public entry #180]

Aug 18, 2009 - 09:36 PM
This makes me die with laughter every time I watch it.
It reminds me of Professor Frink.
YouTube Video



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[public entry #179]

Aug 17, 2009 - 03:54 PM
I'm writing a new story.
It's got lesbians and murder. So, pretty much like all my other stories. If you liked those, you're bound to tolerate this one.

Not that anybody READS THEM.


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[public entry #178]

Jul 30, 2009 - 05:58 AM
The Proppening 2
I am not really sure I get it. Did I miss a memo or something? Shits and giggles? Some sort of... prop trolling?

I'm going to bed.


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[public entry #177]

Jul 16, 2009 - 09:23 PM
I finally got Oblivion.
Now what the fuck am I doing?

Give me some ideas as to what to do here. I was considering a stealth oriented build but I am finding sneaking up on people considerably difficult most of the time, so I am just fighting like a jerk. I also kind of wanted to use two handed weapons, but I dunno.

Oblivion experts: let me hear some wisdom here.


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[public entry #176]

Jul 5, 2009 - 04:10 AM
Celebrate the 4th like a true American. Have a skinhead over for fireworks.
So today I got to enjoy the true pleasure of meeting my very first real life skinhead ex-con. It's my father's girlfriend's son. He arrived today with his girlfriend who is a clear meth addict, both of them unashamed of their swastikas and iron crosses that adorn their body in poorly done prison ink. I shall now list the exciting things this man did.

-As the alcohol began flowing in the party, I made my way downstairs to eat. As I was eating, him and his girlfriend sat by me. He conversation starter was "You know, I don't really have a too much of a problem with dykes like you," which quickly segued into a talk about how there are niggers in every race. He qualified this with "A nigger is an ignorant person."

Indeed. Fucking nigger. I escape, shocked at the fact that this guy is still here. It gets better. Did I forget to mention that he says he's on parole... in California? By the way he's drunk and smoking/selling weed. ANYWAY...

-A bit later, he gets into some sort of fight with his girlfriend and shoves her. His mother takes him home, supposedly. Yet she comes back later with him. Great.

-He begins throwing the younger children at the house into the pool very aggressively. Gets yelled at and starts yelling back like a child, saying he never gets to have fun.

-He tries to make me drink a shot with him. When I refuse on the basis that I not only do not drink, but am SICK. He calls me a bitch, and says that I am dissing him by not accepting. Awesome.

-He lights a cigarette with a lit firework. I briefly experience a moment of anticipation as I wait for it to explode in his face or otherwise hurt him. It doesn't.

-Eventually he starts yelling at one of my father's friends because he refused to play a song on the guitar for him. They leave and take their repeatedly thrown child with them.

-I find him doing pull-ups off of our patio roof, which is beginning to break because he is a giant ex-con. I tell him to stop because he is breaking it and he then shoves me rather hard, telling me, "I don't have to listen to some fucking dyke."

By now I am fucking furious. I keep telling my father and his mother to fucking make him leave since he is clearly getting worse and only angering people, but they both seem intent on defending his actions. Finally I practically yell at his mother, who finally decides to make him leave.

-As he is being almost dragged out of the house he begins to ask my father to defend the idea of him staying, which he doesn't. He then calls my dad a "punk bitch" and begins threatening to hurt him if he tries to get anywhere with his mother. By now he really is the life of the party, and is ushered out by the remaining people.

Anyway as the party winds down I am trying to talk to my dad about what a stupid idea it was to have him come over, and the entire time he just tries to rationalize his behavior. He had a rough childhood, he was beaten, he was institutionalized (so was I, big fucking deal), he blah blah blah. Anything to defend the actions of a man who was moments before poking his chest threatening him.

So as it is I am pretty fucking pissed. I seem to be the only person who doesn't feel sorry for the little cocksucker simply because of his past. And apparently nobody else seemed bothered by these tattoos like I was (besides my girlfriend, but she somehow managed to avoid him completely). But then again, I was the only person at the party besides her who was anything but a straight white person. I guess the swastika isn't too scary if you're just another cracker.

On top of all of this, my friend Kayla barely manages to avoid being attacked by a burglar. All in all, probably my worst 4th of July yet. Hooray.

By the way, I imagine I am pretty safe in assuming that an ex-con and possible active gang member having a teardrop tattoo means he killed someone, right? Awesome. Just awesome.

Currently Playing: With the idea of getting in touch with his parole officer

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[public entry #175]

Jun 25, 2009 - 03:36 PM
ITE: I curse my grandparents to die without forgiveness
RAGE
A couple days ago my father's parents called the house wanting to talk to me. More specifically my grandfather. These people have not really wanted to speak to me by choice since I was around 11.

He goes on to inform me that now, after all this time, they have decided they want forgiveness. While I was pretty much shocked by this sudden decision, I said no and passed the phone on to my dad, since I didn't want to deal with them.

My dad informs me that this has come about due to them seeing that they are nearing the end of their lives, and they don't want to go on without getting me to forgive them.

They want me to forgive them. These very same people who have called me dyke, murderer, whore, and many other unsavory things TO MY FACE. These people who told lies about me to my other family members. These people that perpetuate this idea that my sister's death was my fault, that think that my being gay is somehow an affront to THEM. That I chose to just make their lives hell. They want me to just say "I forgive you. Peace on your journey to the other side, brother."

Fuck that.

If I had a list of things that they said to me, or about me, or things they suggested my parents do to have me "fixed" it'd be very long. Very fucking long.

Now, my father seems to understand why I am refusing, but seems confident that I will eventually. Meanwhile I get emails from cousins or a call from my uncle, asking why I am being so cruel to them. Why I am being so cruel. For all the talk (mostly from them) of me being crazy, why do I feel like I am the only one here who is fucking sane?

Either way, I have no intention of forgiving them. Ever. Family is a word that means nothing to me as far as they go.

Die in agony you fucking cunts. Go ahead and turn everybody against me. I've been dealing with it for years and I can weather it far better than I could when I was younger.


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[public entry #174]

Jun 24, 2009 - 04:33 PM
MEEEEE TIME MEEEEE TIME MEEEE TIME
YouTube Video

I fucking love Busdriver videos.


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[public entry #173]

Jun 10, 2009 - 05:03 PM
PROTOTYPE
FUCK YES I AM EATING EVERYBODY I SEE THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME.

Spoiler:
I like how some of them keep screaming even as they are getting absorbed. So sweet.




Response entries:
OH FUCK YES. by Sousuke

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[public entry #172]

Jun 1, 2009 - 04:06 AM
1 Jess 1 Cup
So, giving a stool sample to a doctor is a lot harder than I expected it to be, let me just say.

Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention I crapped blood a few days ago. Not as cool as it sounds, I promise you.


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[public entry #171]

May 13, 2009 - 04:34 PM
Feels good man
Got my tires rebalanced and one replaced today. Feels like I am driving a different car almost.

Hopefully I can go a while without one exploding while I am on the freeway.


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[public entry #170]

May 13, 2009 - 02:10 AM
Man, I love butts.
That's it, really.


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[public entry #169]

May 8, 2009 - 04:50 PM
For Garr



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[public entry #168]

May 7, 2009 - 04:04 AM
Jessykins: The Tentacling
Well, it's complete. Now my profile is completely tentacle laden, even down to the avatar and signature.

It was a tough road but we made it, guys. We made it.


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[public entry #167]

May 4, 2009 - 09:35 PM
Fuck today. Fuck today HARD.
So today I was determined. I was going to take care of this ticket I had. I got up early, had plenty of quarters for parking, had a book. I was good to go.

However, once I got up, I felt wrong about the whole day. I figured it was just because I was up early (9am, which is early for me, fuck you). As it turns out, it was not.

I get to the courthouse around 9:45, throw 2 hours of quarters into the meter (about 12 quarters) and head inside. An old man has a heart attack or something in the lobby. This was another bad omen. I get where I need to go and am told I have the wrong papers. I leave the courthouse with a 1:48 on the meter. Someone after me would be very happy.

I drive back across to an even farther part of town from there to get the papers and drive back. Down the block from the courthouse a fucking car in front of me literally like, exploded. Fire shoots from the guy's hood and he runs out like it's ready to explode. Another bad (but kinda cool) omen. I get there, throw another hour of quarters in and head inside. The ticket is taken care of. Sweet. Time to go home.

I get to my car, a little annoyed at the setback, but glad it's done. Ohoho, I was wrong. I locked my keys in the car.

Now, I am low on quarters, so I have to go back to the courthouse and get change. I use some of them to call my friend, who calls a locksmith for me. They say it will be twenty minutes. I wait by my car, watching the time tick by on my meter. An hour later, still nothing. It's noonish now, and hot.

I get a passerby to let me use their phone (for fear of going inside and missing the smith) to call her again. She says she's heard nothing from them, so I go back to waiting. Another hour goes by. I flag down some bicycle cops and ask them if they could help me out with a phone or something, but instead they offer to call a different locksmith. They radio in some shit.

I go to an ice cream truck to get another dollar in quarters for the machine. I wait in the sun more. By now it's around 3:00 or so. I get a nice young lady to let me use her fancy iphone to call my girlfriend to let her know she isn't getting a ride home. She tells me to call my dad, who I didn't know was off work. I do, he says he'll bring my spare. YAY.

Not.

The locksmith shows up not long later. The police one. The one my friend called vanished into thin air. I tell him to leave because my dad is coming and he is late as fuck. The nice young lady comes by again and says that my dad called her back, saying he didn't have my spare key, but was coming anyway. What?

Yes. He shows up with a wire hanger and plyers, which we use to open my passenger side door. Finally I get to go home. So tired. So sunburned.

Some lessons I learned:

Get a fucking cell phone.

Huge black guys with ankle bracelets and white trash are nicer than lawyers and other office folk, as they were the only ones who let me use their phones. Lawyers would ignore me like I was some sort of vagrant. Fuck them.


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[public entry #166]

May 2, 2009 - 11:41 PM
I am the best at whatever it is Wolverine does.
Today I purchased a movie tie-in game for a movie I have no intent of ever seeing. Even by download. Go, me.


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[public entry #165]

Apr 29, 2009 - 01:59 PM
My job is a fucking death trap.
Ow my shin
Yesterday while doing sound for a small corporate function, I noticed while on-stage that one of the risers had an odd softness to it. It seemed to not really be anything besides maybe a softer spot, so I ignored it.

The drums go there. As do a bassist and guitarist. The band plays and all goes well. Pretty simple.

As I am on stage collecting microphones, I feel that the lean has gotten worse and move from the area. I look contemplatively at the bassist, who shrugs at me and smiles. I smile back, and he steps on the leaning part.

THEN THE FUCKING RISER BREAKS. He drops, because the corner he was on was where it broke, and I get flung (I swear to god) at least five feet across the stage, landing on my ass (whew) right at the edge near the mixer and our other equipment. It was like a fucking sound engineer catapault.

The hotel is very lucky it happened at the end, and not when a bunch of elderly musicians were standing there (Though of course the biggest one still was. Thanks for being my counter-weight). That guitarist wasn't very big. He could've gone off the stage. And I guess I'm also lucky because I would've failed the drug test if I got really injured and lol no benefits for stoners.

Then I got hit in the shin by a falling microphone stand's base. The bruise is like a three inch black sphere in the middle of my calf. So fun.


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[public entry #164]

Apr 20, 2009 - 03:34 PM
Yes, it's 4/20.
Let's all celebrate the birth of our wonderful Fuhrer. He will be missed.


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[public entry #163]

Apr 12, 2009 - 09:25 PM
I am so cool.
lol more Skate crap. I designed these boards and I thought they looked cool. So now you look at them too.





Okay, that's all. You're free to go.


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[public entry #162]

Apr 12, 2009 - 06:17 AM
I NEED BOOKS. RECOMMEND ME BOOKS.
I need something new to read. I'd prefer fiction, but anything is cool. Help me out.


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[public entry #161]

Apr 7, 2009 - 02:54 PM
Not having a great april so far.
Besides getting robbed, I've also had one friend tell me she's being sexually harrassed at work, and another who actually gets fucking raped.

It seems like the lives of all my friends are falling apart around me. I feel like I'm falling apart trying to handle so much... empathy I guess.

All the while I still don't feel safe in my own house. I jump at every noise, and patrol the hallways with a pocket knife like I'd be able to use it against anybody. Knowing this, I still do it anyway, even though it doesn't actually make me feel safer.

God damn. At least I found a new dealer.


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[public entry #160]

Apr 1, 2009 - 01:16 AM
My house was broken into.
UGH.
Some time between 5am and 7am someone came into a downstairs window and stole three expensive guitars as well as my girlfriend's purse.

Of course as it is with these things, it's not so much the objects being gone as the thought of someone coming into the house. I was sleeping alone upstairs when this person was inside stealing those guitars, and I can't help but think to myself, "What if they weren't here to steal?"

Now, I've been the victim of a few crimes in my life, but not any that involved someone coming into my house. I can't shake the thought of that 'what if?' from my mind. I don't feel safe. I'm afraid even though I am locked in my room.

Ugh.


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[public entry #159]

Mar 27, 2009 - 02:09 AM
Me drowning in porn (as drawn by magi)


Pretty accurate I think.


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[public entry #158]

Mar 24, 2009 - 08:16 PM
Venture Bros season 3 uncensored! A screenshot that describes my reaction.
And also subjects you to the same thing.



Seriously though. Shit is so awesome uncensored.


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[public entry #157]

Mar 18, 2009 - 04:20 PM
FUCK ALLERGIES
I just sneezed ten times in a row. TEN FUCKING TIMES. I COUNTED.

Spring in Vegas is such bullshit.


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[public entry #156]

Mar 17, 2009 - 08:33 PM
I always laugh when badguys make weird tribal sounds in Resident Evil 5
lol racist japs
Then I shoot them in the face because they're black.

Spoiler:
"They have escaped this winnowing for far too long!"



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[public entry #155]

Mar 7, 2009 - 04:28 AM
Eastbound & Down is a fucking awful show.
Just awful. I never would've imagined a show with so many often funny people involved with it would be so... unfunny.


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[public entry #154]

Mar 6, 2009 - 06:54 AM
Slumdog Millionaire wasn't that great.
I mean it wasn't a bad movie. Not at all. But I don't even think it was DANNY BOYLE'S best. Let alone the best of last year.


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[public entry #153]

Mar 5, 2009 - 04:10 PM
<+Juanzen> 6'5 muscular skating behemoth that crashes into people
Rape


Some more just for fun:
Spoiler:






In before Deni raging and insulting me.


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[public entry #152]

Mar 3, 2009 - 05:00 PM
I am now sitting at 1337 comments.
That's all.


EDIT: NEVERMIND, LOL.


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[public entry #151]

Mar 2, 2009 - 11:45 PM
Even rapidshare is prejudiced.
Here I am, trying to download... something, and what do I get?



I mean god damn.


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[public entry #150]

Mar 2, 2009 - 03:58 AM
What is wrong with me?
I have been thinking a lot about my friend Josie lately. It's been twelve years since she killed herself, and yet to this day I still have nightmares about finding her. I still break into tears when I think of her and how much pain she must have been in. Pain I wasn't there to help her with.

I grew up with this girl. We had a lot of good times together, and yet every time I think back on one of those good times, I can't enjoy them. They get tainted somehow with the reminder that she's fucking dead. I'm not sure why my mind does it. But just keeps happening. Getting worse, even. Weed isn't helping.

Why does it feel like I am the only person who can't get over things? Why do I keep acting so fucking traumatized?


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[public entry #149]

Mar 1, 2009 - 03:24 AM
Saw Coraline stoned. Loved it.
In before Lehah shows up saying that it was the worst fucking piece of cinematic shit to ever shit on a shit.


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[public entry #148]

Feb 27, 2009 - 11:35 PM
Zip is a cunt
Response to: JESSYKkins sucks by Zip




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[public entry #147]

Feb 26, 2009 - 01:32 PM
I'm pulling a Denicalis here.
OMG COME ASK ME QUESTIONS!


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[public entry #146]

Feb 24, 2009 - 12:50 AM
The picture that singularly describes my Skate 2 experiences so far.


And for the NON bail pictures...
Spoiler:







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[public entry #145]

Feb 23, 2009 - 05:55 PM
Unable to skate successfully, I resort to violence.
http://skatereel.ea.com/members/1/187718122/481512.aspx

Man this game is fun.


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[public entry #144]

Feb 16, 2009 - 11:09 PM
Milton J. Converse IV
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!


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[public entry #143]

Feb 16, 2009 - 04:04 PM
JESSYKINS WRITES NEW STORY.
My first one in something like a year. Also my longest. Please take a look at my thread in the Creator's Café and read Not Dead Yet.

This would please me. Don't you want to please me? Of course you want to please me. Please me. Go ahead, make a post in the thread. That would please me too.


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[public entry #142]

Feb 13, 2009 - 05:21 AM
ITE Jessykins plays Skate 2 and gets fucking owned.
Having fun with this replay/video uploading feature, so I'd like to present this happy fun-time experience.

http://skatereel.ea.com/members/1/187718122/351222.aspx


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[public entry #141]

Feb 4, 2009 - 06:25 AM
Jessykins tells another joke.
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee!"

The doctor looks at him and says:
Spoiler:
Lehah is a faggot



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[public entry #140]

Jan 26, 2009 - 04:27 PM
I haven't made any entries for a while.
Not that I haven't wanted to or anything, just haven't really found the urge.

My new story is coming along okay. It's getting pretty large, and so I find myself wondering if people will read it. It's almost a struggle to get people to read five or ten pages, let alone twenty or more. But in the end, I know I can't be concerned about that, and I need to write for me or whatever. Something like that.

I just wish I had a useful talent.

(Thanks for pointing that one out, Eric)


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[public entry #139]

Jan 17, 2009 - 07:24 AM
So who else is going to Circuit City today?
The world is falling apart and they pass the savings on to you!

Seriously though, time to hopefully get some cheap shit.


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[public entry #138]

Jan 15, 2009 - 12:34 AM
Dear Tande,
Response to: Dear Tande, by UltimaIchijouji

Still waiting on my nudes.


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[public entry #137]

Dec 18, 2008 - 01:52 AM
Snow in Vegas?! It's true! Pix within.
It was some pretty wild shit. Keep in mind this is a fucking desert.

Spoiler:
Here's my backyard






Snowwoman in progress. Also a girlfriend:


And the street:



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[public entry #136]

Dec 17, 2008 - 03:27 AM
The Unsolved Mysteries theme still terrifies the fuck out of me.
Seriously I just heard that shit now and was brought back to watching it with my mom when I was little and being given nightmares.

Anybody else? No? God damn it.


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[public entry #135]

Dec 15, 2008 - 05:18 PM
And thus, my time at the top of the prop food chain comes to an end.
I don't exactly know why it happened, or even who was doing it (NOT PANG THAT'S FOR SURE!) but it was very unusual and I think I'll just put the whole experience behind me.

Anyway, what's up?

Yeah, not much here either. My new story is about halfway done. Gonna be a big one. I hope you will read it.

No?

Fuck you, then. Sleep with one eye open, asshole.


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[public entry #134]

Dec 15, 2008 - 12:28 AM
I tried doing that random playlist song poem thing...
And got instrumental songs for every track four times in a row. Instead I will post the poem I did with the magnetic poetry on my fridge.

Love is a knife ask for death when you want and I will elaborate.

Good times.


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[public entry #133]

Dec 14, 2008 - 05:46 AM
Rotorblade is Cool Batman
Travis says:
I am
Breastica says:
cool
Travis says:
Batman
Breastica says:
Cool Batman
Travis says:
cool batman


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[public entry #132]

Dec 9, 2008 - 07:05 AM
I just drank a cricket on accident.
I regret nothing.


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[public entry #131]

Dec 8, 2008 - 05:08 AM
Where the fuck did all these props come from?
That's like the most I've ever gotten in my life.


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[public entry #130]

Dec 6, 2008 - 12:58 AM
When it's cold, sometimes I put my hands on my crotch.
How about you? No? Go fuck yourself.


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[public entry #129]

Dec 4, 2008 - 05:11 PM
Ever find out that someone nearby has been piggybacking wireless from you?
And you just wanted to go door to door looking for them so you could beat their stupid face in. Fucking cheap ass mother fuckers.


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[public entry #128]

Dec 1, 2008 - 04:10 PM
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE ON EBAY!?
Okay, you fucking assholes. You see a fairly new game (<a month) and it's up for twenty bucks. Cool. It ends in 14 hours. No worries, just bide your time.

How is it that 14 hours later it's being sold for retail price - if not more with the shipping? Do people not seem to realize that it's no longer a deal? You could go over to your local Wal-Mart and find it for cheaper you STUPID CUNTS. STOP FUCKING UP MY FUCKING SNIPING YROF(ERUG*&(YRGURHJG

Edit: I am watching one that is ending in about an hour and forty five minutes. It's at $20 now. Let's see where it ends up.


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[public entry #127]

Nov 24, 2008 - 10:33 PM
I... am finally free.
My account has expired.



Goodbye, Misera. Goodbye, Valeska. The Alliance can once again venture outdoors without fear of knifing or cleaving in twain.

Spoiler:
FOR NOW(?)


Currently Playing: With my 360

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[public entry #126]

Nov 23, 2008 - 07:15 AM
Cici's Pizza.
What the fuck? That shit was horrible. Stay out of Vegas.

The cinnamon piles (since they do not resemble rolls at all) were okay, though.


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[public entry #125]

Nov 17, 2008 - 06:06 AM
I wrote for the first time in nearly 9 months.
Much like other things that take nine months to happen, it was painful to start. One page felt like almost like torture to complete, and I still don't feel like it's worth a thing.

Who am I kidding? You guys don't care.


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[public entry #124]

Nov 6, 2008 - 04:39 AM
Fuck you, dad. Just... fuck you.
Many moons ago I had played Fallout and Fallout 2. Being a nerd, and knowing my father is somewhat of a nerd as well, I told him about them as I played them. The basic idea, storyline, atmosphere, etc. He took my interest in this to mean I was interested in more post-apocalyptic stuff, and so he rented A Boy and His Dog and such for us to watch, and it was good.

These days I am playing Fallout 3. I told him I wanted to show him the game, since by comparison it's quite a leap in graphic quality, and I figure seeing the DC ruins is still pretty awesome. So I show him and he says some stuff about "Ah so this one you come out of a vault on the east then," and I was actually amazed. My father remembered something about a game that I told him years ago? He was ACTUALLY interested in something I was doing? He left for work, anyway.

I told my girlfriend about it. A few friends. I think I even mentioned it in #gfchat. I was genuinely pleased by the fact.

When he got home, I made it a point to tell him that I was impressed that he remembered about the vaults and stuff, and how happy I was that he actually paid some attention to what I was saying back in the day. His response?

"Oh, I just saw a commercial for it before you asked me to come check it out."

Followed by him chuckling and walking off to his room.

Thanks for making me feel like a fucking moron, dad.


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[public entry #123]

Nov 4, 2008 - 12:46 PM
Kidney infections!
This is seriously like the fifth one this year. So tired of this shit. I'm beginning to smell like antibiotics all the time.


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[public entry #122]

Nov 4, 2008 - 04:50 AM
You want hot? I'M hot.
Seriously. 102 degrees. Please kill me.


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[public entry #121]

Oct 23, 2008 - 04:07 AM
SAINTS ROW 2!!!
SAINTS ROW 2!!!

So yeah that's where I've been.

In regards to my last entry: she has TB, but she's cool.


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[public entry #120]

Oct 13, 2008 - 08:24 PM
This can't be happening.
Kayla (the friend sister), has been taken to the hospital. She threw up blood and began to feel lightheaded before she finally told me something was wrong.

The reason why? She didn't want me to worry on my birthday.

Fuck.


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[public entry #119]

Oct 13, 2008 - 01:34 AM
Man, I suck.
I checked my email just now and found one from my friend. Fairly recent, but I must've missed the notice because I was in the shower. Anyway, it's from my best friend, who moved across the country back in march.

"Hey! It's already midnight here, so I'm going to tell you to have a happy birthday AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR."

And I read this and broke into tears. Still crying, in fact. I miss him so fucking much, and it feels like I just now realized I haven't seen him in almost seven months. I don't know why, but suddenly it fucking hurts.


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[public entry #118]

Sep 21, 2008 - 02:38 AM
Ever have one of those days?
I fucking did. Christ, even weed isn't helping.


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[public entry #117]

Sep 7, 2008 - 01:35 AM
I just had some ribs made by a real life black man.
RIBS!
They were pretty AWESOME!!!

Currently Playing: RIBS!

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[public entry #116]

Sep 5, 2008 - 11:04 PM
Some wise words from Carl Sagan.



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[public entry #115]

Sep 3, 2008 - 05:29 PM
I am not worthy!
Response to: (Deleted Entry)

Bravo! I never thought that jokingly saying I wanted a dildo demonstration would net these kind of results...

Even if it wasn't what I was hoping for!

Spoiler:



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[public entry #114]

Aug 28, 2008 - 03:41 AM
Hypnosis induced orgasm? Uh huh. (Now with link to file)
I have downloaded this mp3 file by some dom bitch named Isabella Valentina that is supposed to give you a "hands-free" orgasm. My mind, always one for science, has decided to give it a good try. I'll even lay down and everything.

Findings will be reported.

IMPORTANT UPDATE

In the middle of this hypnosis shit, I realized that Isabella Valentine is Ivy from Soul Calibur's full name. I think this also means I wasn't quite "there" as far as relaxing and clearing my mind. Let's try again. Also, thanks for the pity prop, Thud.

SECOND, MORE ORGASMIC UPDATE

So yeah, I ended the entire session slightly aroused, but I think that was more from Ivy's moaning and voice than anything. I will stand by hypnosis being bullshit while I go masturbate like a normal person.

THIRD, JEALOUSY INSPIRED UPDATE

For a second opinion that wasn't random internet person comment, I sent the file to my friend Kevin. The following conversation ensued:

Kevin: Dude
Me: What?
Kevin: That shit was nuts, I'm not kidding.
Me: No fucking way.
Kevin: My legs hurt so much right now, this is so fucked up. where did you find this shit anyway?
Me: IT WORKED?!?
Kevin: The first 20 minutes or so i was like wtf, this isn't doing shit
Me: I fucking hate you.
Kevin: Probably shouldn't tell anybody about this. Thanks Jess.

FUCK MY MIND

tiny update

Kevin: Thanks though, was definately a new experience
Me: You can give me your little sister as payment.



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[public entry #113]

Aug 27, 2008 - 04:19 PM
I love weed.
I looooooove weed.

I also still haven't settled on a name. Some of the ones I liked:

YesNoMaybe
Cube
Vertizontal
Women's Prison Warden (Made me lol)

I need more decent suggestions. Either that or I am stuck with this horrible name forever.



Response entries:
I too love green plants and other stuff. by Immortal

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[public entry #112]

Aug 22, 2008 - 02:03 PM
Jessykins needs a new name.
I am pretty much tired of Jessykins. It's an old name, and really, the person who gave it to me I hate now. Time for a change.

Let's hear some suggestions. Serious or otherwise, I don't care. Perhaps I will collect a few and do a vote or something.

I say all this as if you give a flying fuck about my name here.


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[public entry #111]

Aug 4, 2008 - 09:07 PM
Chz: Is this the man you want coding YOUR forum?
(07:02pm) <@CHz> I promise anything I do will at least amuse myself.
(07:02pm) <@CHz> Also, tentacles for Jessy.

Because he's who I want.


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[public entry #110]

Aug 1, 2008 - 02:37 PM
I think this has to be one of the most horrifying stories I have ever heard.
http://www.thestar.com/News/Canada/article/470913

Holy fucking shit. Every single person on that bus is going to be traumatized.


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[public entry #109]

Jun 26, 2008 - 03:42 PM
Rotorblade is fun.
I'm some type of wastoid says:
It's alright
I'm some type of wastoid says:
Travelling's irrelevant
I'm some type of wastoid says:
You can leave home if you want
I'm some type of wastoid says:
I think that's intelligent
Travis says:
Lyrical surprise, has my interest piqued
Travis says:
Then I realize it's Jess, her personality: meek.
Travis says:
What more to do? Ask a question: "Why?"
Travis says:
If Jess leaves her house, bitch is finished. She'll die.


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[public entry #108]

Jun 15, 2008 - 07:24 PM
VIDEO GAMES LIVE and The Incredible Hulk!
So Video Games Live was pretty awesome. Unfortunately I did not get any pictures due to a certain girlfriend leaving the camera at the house. However, I can break it down from memory mostly. Things might be out of order or missing. I dunno.

* The show started with a pretty funny video of people dressed as Ms. Pac-man and the ghosts chasing her through the street to some music.

* The show began with a medley of classic game music from things like Joust and Tempest and other such old arcade games. The obnoxious douche behind me had to keep announcing what games were on the screen. Thanks, buddy, I didn't recognize pong. Fuck you.

* Tallarico came out and started the show oddly with the music of Metal Gear Solid, presented by a video of Hideo Kojima speaking engrish.

* Following this was the theme from Medal of Honor, I recognized it from Frontlines, but I have no idea if it's the main theme or not. The composer's daughter came out to sing the high parts, and was pretty amazing at it. She looked like she was maybe 12. I'd hit it.

* Then Tallarico brought out the little weird asian guy who did that video of him doing Mario music blindfolded. He did a medley of Final Fantasy stuff. That was okay.

* Much like Colonel Skills' show, a horrendously huge guy was brought on stage to do the motion-captured Space Invaders. The shirt the gave him with the ship on it was too big, also he lost. Tallarico said he was ripped and gave him a consolation prize.

* They did Metroid, which he said was not something they do at all the shows, but I dunno. Was also kind of cool.

* THEN A SPECIAL TREAT. Voice Actor Dee Baker was brought out and did some of the voices he does for TV and games, and then also did the voice of the Berserker from Gears of War to a video of someone fighting the Berserker. That was kind of crazy to hear coming from such a strange, large headed man.

* Intermission!

* We come back from Intermission and got a special treat for Las Vegas. Since Westwood studios is (Was?) Vegas based, the composer of the Command and Conquer games came out with his band dressed in a Vash (From Trigun) coat and did the theme from that. It was pretty rocking, even if I didn't know the theme by heart.

* The Sonic Medley came after. I wasn't exactly impressed with that one. Not a theme song I remembered so well.

* LEGEND OF ZELDA! God I love that theme. This was awesome.

* Mario stuff was pretty good too, but in comparison to the rest of the concert, that theme seems so... simple. However it was still sweet. Little weird Mario piano player asian guy came out again and did his whole deal, then took the blindfold off and did the Super Mario World theme. I enjoyed this more than the Final Fantasy stuff.

* Halo. Yeah, Halo. I dunno, whatever.

* One Winged Angel. It's pretty crazy to hear this shit live.

* After this, Tallarico said it'd just be predictable to end on One Winged Angel, so they did Castlevania. This was a pretty fun note to end on, as his tiny ass was out there playing guitar along to it (As he did on OWA and the Halo theme).

Pretty much as soon as the song ended my dad was like "LET'S GO!!!" and we had to leave because he didn't want to deal with traffic. I kind of wished I didn't go with him, but whatever. I didn't get to make the meet and greet or do any of the after stuff, which sucked, but the concert itself was an amazing experience. I would recommend to ANYBODY on GFF to see this shit if it comes to your town.

I took my dad to see The Incredible Hulk today as well for Father's Day. I was pleasantly surprised by it. The action scenes were fucking awesome, especially the fight with Abomination.

Spoiler:
OMFG TONY STARK! SAMUEL STERNS TURNING INTO THE LEADER?! SHIELD SURVEILLANCE SYSTEMS!


tl;dr.

Currently Playing: with myself

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[public entry #107]

Jun 15, 2008 - 03:48 AM
Video Games Live was fucking AMAZING
Details tomorrow. It was just awesome. This must be what religious people feel like at church.


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[public entry #106]

Jun 9, 2008 - 03:04 PM
Everything has a story to tell. Even your sheets. (Pretty gross)
So yesterday I was looking at my bed and thinking to myself: "You know, this could be so many things. I know what it is, but to an outside observer, what could have happened here?"

It's not hard to guess, but let's see what you guys think.

Spoiler:



In before semen.


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[public entry #105]

Jun 7, 2008 - 06:08 AM
Wow, I look like a smug-ass bitch in my profile picture.
This 4am observation brought to you by hydrocodone.


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[public entry #104]

Jun 6, 2008 - 01:16 AM
I just watched the new Rambo movie and have just this to say:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT GUY GOT SHOT IN HALF. THIS IS AMAZING FUCKING CHRIST I THINK I'M A LITTLE WET, IS THAT NORMAL? NO PROBABLY NOT.


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[public entry #103]

Jun 4, 2008 - 02:32 PM
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS?!


IT'S A GOD DAMNED WELSH CORGI TOY ON TOP OF A KITTEN SKULL, THAT'S WHAT. FUCK. YES.


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[public entry #102]

Jun 3, 2008 - 02:59 PM
The only reason I like Barack Obama (As told to me by my ex girlfriend)
"It's all the black music you listen to, isnt it?"

Yes, bitch. It's all the black music I listen to. God, it makes me sick that I loved this racist cunt.


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Jun 2, 2008 - 12:55 AM
Not 56k friendly.











Entry is oddly 56k friendly. Nevermind.


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[public entry #100]

Jun 1, 2008 - 01:12 PM
Cyclopian Siberian Husky Inside a Cereal Box (100th journal entry!)


I'll miss Molotov. She was a good dog.


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[public entry #99]

May 28, 2008 - 10:46 PM
Badonkadonk
I suppose I should be grateful for all the compliments my ass got in regards to that last picture I posted. I always thought that maybe it was lacking, but considering all the comments I got to the effect of "YOUR ASS IS JUICY," I am proven quite wrong.

Also this courtesy of a friend:




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[public entry #98]

May 27, 2008 - 01:43 PM
I went to my cousin's wedding dressed like a cheap whore.
I had pretty much not expected to go, so when I was woken up on saturday being told I had to get ready to go, this was the shit I grabbed. Pretty awesome, actually.




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[public entry #97]

Apr 28, 2008 - 04:40 PM
THIEVERY!
Last night someone had apparently STARTED to break into my car, but didn't finish the job. I can only assume they saw that I have no radio (or anything worth a shit) and didn't bother finishing.

I have no radio because someone broke into my car and stole it.

This radio did not work as a CD player anymore, and had a discman in the aux in so I could play discs.

They left the discman, took the radio.

The thing that irritates me most is that I probably could have stopped this. I am up until 5am, and I doubt someone did an daring early morning break-in on my car. I even have my window open at night. I would've heard it if I didn't have my headphones on.

Grrr.

Currently Playing: Daedelus - Was Waiting

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[public entry #96]

Apr 1, 2008 - 05:48 AM
I hate April 1st.
There must be an invisible sign over my head that only the pranksters and jerks can see, because every April 1st I get tricked by so many god damned people. Usually more than once per person, as well.

I am the most gullible fuck on the planet. Have mercy for once.


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[public entry #95]

Mar 3, 2008 - 05:44 PM
Time for Jessykins to do what Jessykins does best: Complain.
I am reading this book by Carl Sagan. It's made me think a lot about humanity in general, if not specifically my stupid little life.

I came to the conclusion that what I really believe is pretty fucking depressing. To not believe in a beautiful place we go to after we die, or even that our lives have any meaning whatsoever in the grand scheme of things... well, it makes a lot of it all seem so pointless. I do not believe in God, or heaven or hell, or in reincarnation or anything of the sort, but god damn I wish I did. Hell, I even wish that I didn't find the concepts that most religions are based on so fucking laughable that I could even make some sort of motley belief system, but I just can't.

As I do with most thoughts like these, many of which include my future and remaining time living, I mostly stick to one plan: try not to think about it.

Well, this is my LJ, so I suppose I'll use it to do some more bitching.

Along with these thoughts about my life, I often find myself stuck on one notion: Maybe I am not special. Yes, I have been through and seen horrible things in my life, but what does that mean? I always told myself as I grew up that I wanted to be a writer. That I would somehow make a living off of telling people the stories that are constantly in my head. I am disheartened, however. I do not have faith in my talent. I haven't written anything in a while besides a short story that I haven't finished, simply because I am almost certain that it wouldn't matter. I have no audience, and without an audience I feel as though everything I put down is pointless. A friend of mine told me that writing it should be about doing it for myself. But why? In my head, it's all perfect. On the page it's a half-assed representation of what my imagination can show me. I don't NEED to write for myself, because I see them every fucking day.

I cannot live a boring, normal life. I cannot have a 9-5 job that I work 5 days a week for the rest of my stupid little life. I would rather fucking DIE than live like that. I'd rather put a bullet in my fucking brain than live like my father or my girlfriend or my fucking brother, who has degrees in so many artistic things, is a brilliant painter, and drives a fucking TOW TRUCK for a living.

I'm 23 years old, and every vision of my future makes me want to kill myself. I don't know how to change it. I just know I have to.

So yeah. That's it.


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[public entry #94]

Feb 21, 2008 - 11:42 PM
Well... fuck.
My best friend just came over to tell me he's going back to Chicago on saturday. Permanently.

God damn it.


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[public entry #93]

Feb 16, 2008 - 07:35 PM
Oh hey GFF is back.
Yay!

I was missing my dykey Powers avatar, since I lost it somehow.

I MISSED YOU GUYS TOO!


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[public entry #92]

Jan 17, 2008 - 04:39 AM
SERIS AND I WERE LOVERS ONCE (Also I need your gamertags)
I was looking through an old folder of conversations I had saved, and noticed a few labeled ABBYsoandsoetc. Reading through them kind of surprised me, because I had no idea we had gotten so close at one point.

I'd post some of them, but I don't think she'd like it. Also we were pretty stupid.

BUT HEY, as the second part of this journal entry, I finally got my xbox live shit going, and I need the gamertags of people who I like. If I don't like you, give me your tag as well so that I can file fake complaints against you.

p.s. we weren't actually lovers.


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Jan 12, 2008 - 09:36 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that SWEENEY TODD WAS AWESOME?
From the art direction to the music, it pretty much had me enthralled the entire time. And I'm not even one of those Depp loving cunts you see all over the place these days.


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Jan 7, 2008 - 08:08 PM
The L-Word is a bunch of bullshit.
RARGH FUCK
Why? It's a show about lesbians created by a guy (with some female input, no idea which females). Because it is so totally the live action production of a man's wet dreams, with a little bit of heavy-handed drama thrown in to take you between the tits and soft music sex scenes.

I hate the women who watch the show and claim to love it. They are stupid. It's not good. It's softcore porn with a story that is slightly above average for the medium. However, it's made lesbianism seem hot and glamorous, what with all the sexy, smart, and in some cases rich lesbians all fucking each other. What this has done is help to make a bunch of otherwise vapid straight cunts into vapid "bisexual" cunts who will lick pussy when they are drunk or horny enough, but would never catch themselves dead in a relationship with another woman.

ALSO: I wasn't aware that every lesbian in the world was an attractive, long-haired lipstick lesbian. I mean, I've been in nothing but relationships with dykes that are either overweight, crazy, or otherwise fucked up in some irreversable way. The closest thing to a butch (realistic) lesbian on that show is about as tomboyish as my cousin was when she was 13. But then again, WATCHING REAL LESBIANS TOGETHER WOULDN'T BE HOT. IT'D BE MOST LIKELY HORRIFYING.

And yeah, I realize the hypocrisy of that last part, as I could be on the L-Word. However, I am not the rule. I am the exception.

As a supplement, here are pictures of my most recent exes. It's true, I am LIVING the fucking L-Word. I swear.





EDIT: Denicalis clarified for me that it's actually written by two women, which only makes things worse, because then it's a dyke writing what is essentially fanfiction of the lesbian world and exploiting the sexual content/titties of attractive women to get viewers. Deni is gay anyway, fuck that guy.


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Dec 29, 2007 - 10:56 PM
Why do people hate on Saints Row/me?
Yeah, okay, it's a GTA clone. So what? You faggots all love GTA, except Saints Row has better combat, physics, and a pretty sweet story once you actually get into it.

So what is it that makes people think that it's stupid? Even moreso, that I'M stupid for liking it.

Either way, fuck you guys. I am more excited for Saints Row 2 than I am for GTA 4. Then again, GTA 4 might change my mind about all this.

In the end, Denicalis is gay.

Currently Playing: My Xbox!

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Dec 25, 2007 - 02:36 PM
What Jessy thinks of all her friends on the board:
Response to: What Deni thinks of all his friends on the boards. (except the ones he by No. Hard Pass.

YOU'RE ALL GREAT!

Also: My girlfriend got me a 360, holy crap.


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[public entry #87]

Dec 14, 2007 - 04:39 PM
Fuck you, Super Mario World Advance.
Have I just gotten clumsier as I have aged, or are these Mario games on the DS fucking hard as hell? Mario 3 and Mario World I used to fucking DESTROY, and now I can barely scramble through a level.

Oh, and I CERTAINLY can't keep Yoshi for any good amount of time. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU RUN, YOSHI? YOU CANNOT FLY. YOU CANNOT SWIM. LET ME RIDE YOU AND PUNCH YOUR HEAD SO YOU EAT SHIT.

EDIT:

LeHah says:
WHO IS DRIVING
LeHah says:
BOWSER IS DRIVING
LeHah says:
DRIVING HIS FUCKING COCK INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND



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Dec 14, 2007 - 07:14 AM
My girlfriend won't let me play with her Nintendog.
Bitch is about to get slapped.


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Nov 8, 2007 - 02:17 AM
Hello. Jessica reporting in. (With more nude things)
Hey there. Remember me? I was the token Gamingforce lesbian until Abby decided she actually was. She's doing a good job.

Oh yeah, and I stopped writing. Not really by choice though, I sort of can't find motivation anymore.

That chick in my World of Warcraft guild recorded this and this for me with her cell. She quit the game too. Kind of sucks, she was a good healer.

Also my ex girlfriend sent me nude pictures of herself for my birthday. The very same birthday she dumped me on a year prior. I'd post those too, but it's HER WEBSPACE. I'd have no place to host pictures of other people. That wouldn't work at all. Also you'd all vomit. Denicalis did.

Currently Playing: with myself

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Oct 2, 2007 - 04:07 AM
Thanks.
Response to: Where is my direction? by Jessykins

I sometimes forget that you fuckers can actually be pretty good at giving advice.

Also, who the hell is How Unfortunate?


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Oct 1, 2007 - 03:42 PM
Where is my direction?
I am turning 23 in two weeks. I try not to, but sometimes I find myself thinking a lot about my life and where it's going. I claim I want to be a writer, yet I just haven't been able to write like I used to. However, I do know I don't want to end up living a banal, typical life. I don't want to be some dyke working at Starbucks or something when I am 30.

I need to fucking focus. I need to settle on something, and work toward it as hard as I can.

Anyway. I know some of you guys here are in their 20s. Some of you are even older. Where were you guys at my age? Are you sure of what you want to do for a living?

Tell me I'm not the only person feeling like they are so fucked.



Response entries:
Thanks. by Jessykins

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Sep 13, 2007 - 03:44 PM
There's so much I could be doing right now.
I could be writing. I could be reading one of the many books I have to read.

But nah, I'll play WoW.


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Aug 24, 2007 - 07:05 PM
Someone fucking reply to my writing thread.
The last three replies in it were updates from myself. It makes me look like a fucking twat.


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Jul 28, 2007 - 05:13 PM
Shadow Hearts: Covenent
I just started playing it and it's really fun. How come nobody told me about this when it came out?


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Jul 16, 2007 - 02:43 AM
More on how I'm a huge cunt. (Pics! Now with Vagoo!)
So, today I got what could only be considered a vast wealth of explicit pictures from my dear tauren. Vagoo, insertion with strange homemade vibrator (Don't ask), even IN THE POOPER.

And I give this to you, GFF. My friends. Enjoy them.

Oh yes, in the pooper.


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Jul 15, 2007 - 02:32 PM
I have gotten more props in two days than I have ever before.
Thanks, guys! I am glad to know that breaking the trust of people I just met means so much to you. I won't let you all down!


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[public entry #77]

Jul 14, 2007 - 05:40 PM
Ventrilo isn't just for coordinating raids to Karazhan!
So yeah, here's the converted orgasm file thing.

It's not exciting until the end, but still.

Also, don't go spreading these around. Not out of compassion for the girl, but because my bandwidth can't handle a 2mb file being spread all over the internet. If you want to give it to others, host it yourselves.


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Jul 14, 2007 - 03:16 PM
False alarm. (Pics!)
So yeah, I don't really MEAN anything to this girl. I'm just something to flirt with and fantasize about.

When I realized this, I decided there was nothing I wanted to do more than share with my GFF family.

She has a nice rack, at least.

Expect some better ones in the future, I hope. Including vagoo.

Currently Playing: Scarling - Creep

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Jul 13, 2007 - 03:46 PM
Ultimate Surrender
It's chicks wrestling about on a mat for points. They get awarded more points when they kiss, fondle or finger their opponent or make them submit. The loser then gets fucked with a strap-on in any orifice or any way the winner desires.

Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me about this earlier? I think I'm in love.

Also, yesterday, this girl I had met in World of Warcraft (Tauren druid), decided to send me a bunch of pictures of herself in various states of undress, and then masturbate for me over my guild's ventrilo (while we were alone, of course).

All of this because I guess she hates being in her boring hetero relationship and sees me as some sort of dangerous, exciting thing? I don't know. But I see trouble in the future if I let it go on.

However, I also see more free amateur pornography, so I am torn.

Advice?

Currently Playing: Savath y Savalas - Victima Belleza

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[public entry #74]

Jun 13, 2007 - 04:59 PM
So, Gamingforce, how are you?
Fuckpig
Someone update me on what's going on with this grand forum of ours. I never really heard what happened with the OLD GFF.

Also, someone update me on their life. I want to know about them.


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May 26, 2007 - 06:27 PM
I need help!
Figure out who that artist is! I need it!


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[public entry #72]

May 26, 2007 - 04:55 AM
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?! (Picture within)


The internets are no help, and I have a song I need. I have lyrics that lead nowhere (and believe me, I tried) except to a PICTURE of this guy and no name to be seen.

HELP.


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Apr 18, 2007 - 05:56 AM
lol journal entry
So...

It's been a while since my life had a rather dramatic change, and since then I haven't really made very many serious journal entries. No real update on things in my life.

Well, here one is.

As it is, things are going rather smoothly. I am off my medication and seemingly okay for now. I still try to write when I can, watch all sorts of movies, and try to get out and appreciate my friends a bit more than I used to. It's working out pretty well.

I'm very happy with my new girlfriend, and I'm actually pretty pleased to say that not only was Ashleigh NOT the end of things, but she wasn't even close to being the best match for me. Having a girlfriend that is content to sit around and play video games and go out for junk food just about every night is a very nice thing. I find myself much more relaxed. In fact, I wrote a poem about all of that, but I can't find my notebook, so I guess I'll post it later.

The girlfriend and I are currently discussing ways to escape our respective homes and potentially get an apartment together, but we both agree that it's not something we want to jump into. Especially since I hate working (even though I make bank) and she makes crap for money.

My friend is pushing me to get published (or at least try to), so I have been compiling some of my poems and short stories and preparing them to be sent out and scrutinized into oblivion. Worth a shot, right?

I still play World of Warcraft, obviously, I don't masturbate nearly as much thanks to an insatiable woman I seem to constantly find at my house, and I want a new dog. That's about it for the rest of the story. Good times.


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Mar 2, 2007 - 06:41 AM
Sup?
I have a kidney infection.


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[public entry #69]

Jan 30, 2007 - 04:05 PM
THREE YEARS!!
Crash takes himself out of the running this year and I think that it's my turn, finally, to win writer of the year.

WRONG.

Congrats to Tanisari though. I've had three years to try and get this shit and I lost again.

I think it's time to find a new talent.


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Jan 10, 2007 - 04:09 PM
Moving on.
It does not sadden me to say that since Ashleigh left me my life has only gotten better. The world is not so scary a place to me, it seems now. I am not so withdrawn or frightened of the people around me. I have a wonderful new girlfriend who absolutely adores me and is kinky as all Hell. My friends, I am finding, are loyal and fucking awesome and still love me even after nearly two years of living my life as a hermit.

I learned, when she left me, that I can do things on my own. I don't need to plan my life around someone. Especially someone I never got to see.

In a way I guess I should thank her for leaving me. Because really... it was one of the best things to happen in my life.

Weird to say, but totally true. What a world.


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Jan 6, 2007 - 01:16 AM
I'm not sure if I am hallucinating this or not...
Right now I'm on several different medications trying to make this flu I got be less hellish, but I swear I saw a bunch of dancing women for the Gamingforce banner. But when I refreshed, they were gone. I keep refreshing and they never came back.

Did that really happen, or is it in my head?


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[public entry #66]

Dec 22, 2006 - 06:20 AM
CALLING ALL ARTISTS!
I've posted in that thread like, four times, and not one person has even acknowledged that I made a request, let alone drawn it.

Fucking artists all think they're hot shit.

In other news, I got fingered while driving home from the mall. That was fun and dangerous.


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Dec 14, 2006 - 02:07 AM
I have stopped existing
Apparently.


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Dec 13, 2006 - 06:43 AM
It's like a crater of meat
lol @ Denicalis

ALSO THIS CONVERSATION:

Brother what are you going to do with a 9mm and a three piece suit? says:
Hey, it's not my fault I fuck petite women with waxed pussies.
This land shall wither and die says:
I like big women!
This land shall wither and die says:
jeez!
This land shall wither and die says:
Not my fault I like the sound it makes when my hips hit their fat ass
This land shall wither and die says:
lol
Brother what are you going to do with a 9mm and a three piece suit? says:
You win this argument.
Brother what are you going to do with a 9mm and a three piece suit? says:
That was awesome.


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Dec 2, 2006 - 04:21 PM
New pictars?
I'm lazy, so just look at them here.


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[public entry #62]

Nov 30, 2006 - 07:14 AM
COMPUTER ISSUES! (pt. 2)
So apparently one of the fan blades on my power supply fan BROKE OFF. It makes a funny noise, but it works. Dunno for how long though.

Oh, the other fan was just gunked with dust.


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Nov 28, 2006 - 03:20 AM
COMPUTER ISSUES!
What does it mean when my power supply fan and my main fan go out in short succession of one another? I must know.

Coincidence, or some underlying major issue?


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[public entry #60]

Nov 23, 2006 - 05:00 AM
Help.
Someone download this for me since the piece of shit site doesn't want to work for me.

I'd greatly appreciate it.


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[public entry #59]

Nov 23, 2006 - 03:18 AM
SAVE THE CHEERLEADER, SAVE THE WORLD!!!!
I just watched the nine episodes of Heroes that are out right now in a row since about 6pm tonight. It's pretty much an awful piece of shit. The characters are uninteresting, the story is terrible, the episodes are boring as shit, and the dialogue is fucking retarded.

Whoever said the "Only redeeming factor is that it's entertaining" is a fucking moron, too. If I wasn't bored and stoned, I would've stopped after the second episode (Which I would only watch to give it a chance). I'll also add that after nine episodes the chances are up.

And I'll say it right now: Fuck Hiro. Especially fuck Hiro when they show him from the future with a katana looking all menacing and then remind us that for the entirety of the show he's going to be a chubby, inept cunt. Good work.

SAVE THE CHEERLEADER, SAVE THE WORLD.

I would like to see what some cheerleader from bumfuck Texas can do about a nuclear explosion when she couldn't even stop the Quarterback from raping her.

Heroes sucks balls. Fuck this shit.

Currently Playing: Miho Hatori - The Spirit of Juliet

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Nov 21, 2006 - 07:13 PM
Fission Mailed
I got stood up.


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Nov 21, 2006 - 06:49 AM
Stick it in her pooper
Is exactly what I plan to do. Wish me luck!


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Nov 17, 2006 - 06:04 AM
GOOD NEWS!!!!
I got more zoloft. But more importantly:

I GOT FUCKING LAID.

So yeah. That was cool.


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Nov 15, 2006 - 04:54 AM
Bad Luck, I Guess.
All my life I have been the subject of cruel jokes. I have somehow managed to find the only people in the world so willing to hold grudges and specifically seek me out to hurt my feelings as often as they can.

I don't know how that is. I can't see myself as being able to get under the skin of others as easily as it seems these people have allowed me to, so I am at a loss as to what it is that draws these people to me. Maybe they are just assholes to begin with and see me, vulnerable and sensitive and decide I'd be an easy target? Maybe.

I don't know.


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[public entry #54]

Nov 14, 2006 - 05:45 AM
Death will come on padded feet
carrying roses in its mouth


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[public entry #53]

Nov 12, 2006 - 04:08 PM
Hope?
I see relationships all around me crumbling. Strong ones that I didn't think would. It's kind of disheartening.

But at the same time, I am proud of myself for having hope, still. Even if the woman I loved simply stopped loving me, I still believe it can work for people and will work for me.

Tired of being depressed and shitty about all this stuff in my life. It's time for me to stop stagnating and do some shit. Time for me to make more money and reinforce the bonds with my friends both online and off.

It's a time for change, mother fuckers. And I'm going with it for once.


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Nov 11, 2006 - 05:15 AM
I have seen Denicalis' penis.
And I will never sleep again.

Or shit right for a week.


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Nov 7, 2006 - 05:34 PM
Jessykins tells a joke.
What's the worst thing about five black guys driving a Cadillac over a cliff?

Spoiler:
Lehah is a faggot



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Nov 6, 2006 - 03:16 AM
A broken woman.
I feel strangly empty. Apathetic towards most things. I am not sure if it's the zoloft or something else, but it's not a very great feeling.

But I guess it's better than being suicidal.


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Nov 1, 2006 - 09:03 PM
Anything Denicalis says is a lie.
True story.

Also, some random chick named Michelle gave me the hickey. Another mystery solved, gang!


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Nov 1, 2006 - 02:29 PM
AUGH TEQUILA
I drank a lot last night. Enough that I don't remember who gave me the hickey I have on my neck, and not even being sure if it's a hickey and not just a bruise or something.

Either way, fun party. The bitches loved Ari as Jimi Hendrix. Pretty much the entire party he had like, three women hanging on him the whole time. Everybody also loved my badass witch hat for being badass (and on a badass witch).

Probably one of the funnest Halloween parties we've had. Sucks that it had to end pretty early for a lot of the people, what with their childrens and such.

But now is the real fun part. Cleaning up the orange frosting in our white carpet. Thanks, whomever sat in frosting then sat on the stairs. Really. Thanks.


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Oct 31, 2006 - 05:13 AM
LESBIANS LOL
In the past month, I have watched two independant movies about teenage lesbian girls falling in love and the things they have to deal with.

Both of them have actresses who are in 'The L Word' now.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


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Oct 28, 2006 - 01:58 AM
This is how Bradylama and I have sex.
Don't like perpetrators says:
BRADFORD
iambradylama@passport.com says:
WHAT
Don't like perpetrators says:
Let's make fuck!
iambradylama@passport.com says:
LETS
Don't like perpetrators says:
UNF UNF UNF
iambradylama@passport.com says:
OH BABY
iambradylama@passport.com says:
YOUR PUSSY IS SO HOT AND GREAT IT IS MAKING ME CUMMING
Don't like perpetrators says:
BRADYFUCK! BRADYFUCK
Don't like perpetrators says:
IT'S AWWWWWRIGHT
iambradylama@passport.com says:
UGAH
iambradylama@passport.com says:
GAK
iambradylama@passport.com says:
GWAAAAA
Don't like perpetrators says:
Get the fuck off me and give me my money
iambradylama@passport.com says:
GTA NIGGA
iambradylama@passport.com says:
GLOCK GLOCK
Don't like perpetrators says:
OH SHI



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Oct 28, 2006 - 12:46 AM
Hello, drugs.
I saw a guy at the hospital today that looks exactly like Gabe from Penny Arcade. Not the cartoon character, but the artist guy. Mike or Jerry. Whatever. I forget which one is which.

Also: oh boy, Zoloft?

Let's see how THIS turns out.


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Oct 26, 2006 - 05:46 PM
It's not to be.
I've ended it. I can't be with Ashleigh again. She's made it pretty clear that she only came back to save herself, and I am not going to tolerate it anymore.

The woman I loved is gone. She was gone on my birthday. The woman that came back doesn't care about me. Only herself.

I can't do it. Not anymore.


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Oct 19, 2006 - 03:48 AM
The red thread.
The connection isn't broken. My friend came to me tonight. She is hurt like I am. Can't sleep, can't eat.

Tonight I took my friend back. The faith I had in that connection was not unfounded. I believed, and it was true, and that makes me strangly happy.

No more attacks. No more hostility. Ashleigh is my friend, and now she knows herself just what the connection we share means.

Don't tell me I'm setting myself up for another fall, because I don't want to hear it. I'm a big girl. If I am, I will fall and I will get back up again.

But I am fucking glad to have my friend back.


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Oct 16, 2006 - 11:22 PM
One more entry about this shit. Just because it should be seen.
http://lunitari.livejournal.com/705684.html

For those who hate outside links, the entry says this:

In addition, she was right. She is no longer my Ashy.

The Ashy I fell in love with is dead.

The replies are as follows:

Ashleigh: Another headstone in your graveyard. Do remember to bring flowers enough for us all.

Me: Yeah, you go ahead and keep blaming me. I'm not falling for it anymore. Neither is anybody else.

Ashleigh: Sister, mother, friend, lover. Your collection of corpses is now complete. Or is your father left to die? (This reply is especially just fucking petty and cruel. A year or so back, and it would've broken me down completely.)

Me: Can you get more petty? Really, that's just a pathetic attempt.

BUT OH WAIT! I'M CRAAAAYYYYYZZAAYYYY, obviously referencing the things that haunted me in the past will be enough to hurt me. Man, that 801 clique really got you convinced. Here I thought you really were capable of thinking for yourself.

You made this choice. Not I. Good luck finding a woman who doesn't mind being hit AND tolerates your ass. Fucking monster. This is the last thing I am saying to you. Goodbye.

Ashleigh (On another journal I didn't even know about): Your friends are so nice, Jess. They IM me out of the blue and call me a cuntbitch. Nice to see you have such caring supporters.

Me: It's because they care that they do this. I suppose they should just be like your friends and talk shit about you in private (Hint: They do). Also, nice to see you were hiding something else from me.

It's over, Ashleigh. You've hurt me for the last time. Go get drunk with your new friends.

Casey (An old, mutual friend, who was absolutely shocked at her): Ashleigh, how dare you? Dont do that. Dont say those things to her! You hurt her. You left her. So you have no reason to come on her journal and bash her and say such ugly things. I cant believe that this is coming from you. I thought you were a different kind of person than that.

I know you feel as if I'm some sort of traitor for telling Jess the things you said. But you had defriended me before she even told you that, so you must've had your opinion formed of me already. I was trying to help my friend, Jessica, who I thought that you at least still cared about even if you felt you couldnt have a relationship with her. I was trying to be there for her. She doesnt have people to fall back on like you did, to make this easy. And to be honest, she's not as strong as you are, which you know. Jess needed someone to hold her up and I chose to be there for her. She was a mess and I couldnt bear to see her like that. And I was trying to let her know that she needed to move on from you and that she could do it. We were all friends. I've known you for a long time. Ever since you were shy and not at all like you are now. You've changed, and its not for the better. I've always cared about you and the loss of your friendship is sad, but I dont really want to be friends with someone who can throw people away like that anyway.

If you want Jess (and myself) out of your life, you have no business coming by her journal to say ugly things. Just dont do it. You made the decision to leave her and you're *so happy and free* now that you have, so just keep it that way. Dont come around to lash out and hurt her more. She doesnt deserve it. If you're trying to hard to remove every trace of her from your life, dont seek her out to rub salt in her wounds. There is no need for that. You've hurt her enough.

The end. I almost laughed at the reply about my sister and so forth. She grasped at straws to hurt me. Seeing me empowered again, and not squirming in agony reminded her that the loss was larger on her side. She tried to make it out that I killed her, but that's not true. She killed herself.

That's the end. And see, isn't that ugly? Just look at the link.


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Oct 16, 2006 - 09:30 PM
Wow. What a fucking cunt. How's this for some closure?
So, Ashleigh posted my entire email on her journal. Claiming that I was trying to take her from her friends. They all posted, reaffirming my monstrosity (Of course), and making sure she felt secure in her stupid decision. I caught her on her new AIM. This is how the conversation went:

Sexy Jessykins: Why?
Sexy Jessykins: Please just tell me why
Sexy Jessykins: Ashleigh, please...
Sexy Jessykins: What is happening?!
Sexy Jessykins: You thought I was trying to take them from you.
Sexy Jessykins: They took you from me already
Sexy Jessykins: I just wanted to believe that our history meant something to you
Sword4Rose: You are reading my friends only entries.
Sexy Jessykins: I wasn't trying to take them from you
Sexy Jessykins: No
Sexy Jessykins: Casey did. Because I wanted to know you got my email at all
Sexy Jessykins: She told me that you just think I'm a joke now
Sexy Jessykins: That they all just think I'm a big monster out to hurt you
Sword4Rose: She isn't the one in the room listening to the conversations.
Sexy Jessykins: How would I read your entries?
Sexy Jessykins: Magic?
Sexy Jessykins: She told me what she saw.
Sword4Rose: She is no longer my friend.
Sword4Rose: I concider her actions a betrayal.
Sexy Jessykins: No, Ashleigh. Your actions are a betrayal.
Sexy Jessykins: You've betrayed us both.
Sexy Jessykins: People who have always been here for you.
Sexy Jessykins: They can all say I'm a monster, and you don't deserve this... but it's not true. The only monster here is the thing you've become.
Sexy Jessykins: I hope they make you happy.
Sexy Jessykins: You've crushed us both.
Sexy Jessykins: And you know what? You tell all your little friends I said this. You let them ALL know. Because they have no idea.
Sexy Jessykins: They have no idea the history we have.
Sexy Jessykins: Nothing but what you tell them.
Sexy Jessykins: The skewed, negative things you obviously tell them.
Sexy Jessykins: And they will all reinforce it
Sexy Jessykins: And comfort you
Sexy Jessykins: Poor little you with her group of new cronies
Sexy Jessykins: You have become a terrible person
Sexy Jessykins: I can't even think of anything more to say. You make me sick.
Sexy Jessykins: I'm not letting you hurt me again.

The fucking end. Just another cunt in my life like every other fucking cunt. I hope you're happy with your new friends, Ashleigh. I hope they stick with you for the rest of your miserable little life. You can try and blame this on me all you want, and I know your "friends" will be right there with you. And I hope they are. Because I won't be. Not fucking ever again. I loved you with all my heart. We had a future planned. A life to share. And you threw it all away for a little group of people who will say everything you need to hear. Good. Have a nice life, you bitch.


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Oct 16, 2006 - 04:15 PM
One last attempt at an answer.
I sent this email to Ashleigh in an attempt to get the truth. A relationship like ours doesn't just disintigrate, and I have to know what really happened. This is what the email said:

My father told me to write an email. To try and get my feelings down as some hope of this being some sort of catharsis. I'm not supposed to send it, but if you should get this, I failed in that regard. He said he was never able to not send them either.

You've ruined my life. I can't imagine what kind of pain and suffering I must've caused you to do this, but you've absolutely ruined my life. You weren't just my girlfriend. You were an ideal. You were hope. You were a belief. A belief that two people could get through anything together by talking it through and by loving one another. That two people could grow together for the rest of their lives and die together in the end. Hope for a future. Hope that the connection that had grown between us wouldn't just break.

I know you are trying to pin this on me. Your friends are helping, I'm sure. Reinforcing all the negativity. Making me out to be a supervillain. But I'm not. I was all you had for a long time and I stuck with you until you crushed me once before, and even still we fixed it. We were back in business and stronger than ever. And then these people show up suddenly, and you just can't take it anymore. Your livejournal entry said you didn't want to choose, but that's exactly what you did. I'm not needed to keep you safe and happy, so I'm simply not needed.

Everything you stood for, gone. A trust that you weren't just another cruel, selfish person. That you really were my best friend. And yeah, you say this won't be easy for you, but that's a lie. You will stay at the 801, playing video games, drinking, and being coddled by a group of people who will absolutely agree that you don't deserve my torture. And you still won't tell me the truth. The real reason why you are throwing me away. You are just like everybody else.

And, if I end up sending this like I probably will, I know you'll show them. And they'll point and nod knowingly, "See? See how she is?" but this isn't a mind game. You know about what we've been through and they don't. It's easy for them to make me out to be a monster when that's all they are told.

So what I'm going to do is contact you in a month. A full month from my birthday. And I'll bet you will be over me. You might not even respond at all.

I've decided I am going to say this, because I deserve the truth from you. I deserve an explanation. I love you. I was going to do whatever I could to get better and fix this so we could spend our lives together, but my promise wasn't enough. So just tell me why. And don't feed me the same stuff you have been. I have stood on my own for long enough. I didn't WANT to anymore, and I don't NEED to. I put everything I had into you and us, because I had faith that we were eternal. The one thing I trusted is that we would not ever be apart again.

Why did you take that away from me, Ashleigh?


So, that's that. If she replies, I'm sure I'll post it. If she doesn't, she is probably trying to remove me completely from existance as far as she is concerned.



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Oct 15, 2006 - 03:26 PM
This isn't fair.
One of the things that bothers me about this, is that Ashleigh is probably with her friends now, all of them telling her she made the right choice. That I'm sick, and crazy and she deserves better. Vindicating her decision.

I'm not. I love her. And I guess if I really am so awful that she has to leave me to feel any joy again... then that's what has to happen. But I don't mean to be like this. I thought we would get through it together... but even SHE couldn't stand me. My best friend for nearly ten years...

But now everything is gone. All our plans. Our future together. It all means nothing now. It's gone. In one night, it's all gone.

I really don't deserve to be happy. I am a fucking blight on the world.


General Astura Tsukari: Enjoy yourself, you're in a loving relationship
Russian Girlovich: WE are, heh
Russian Girlovich: Both of us
General Astura Tsukari: *Smiles* We are

Not even an hour before she said she was going to leave. And she told me it was real. That we were okay.

And I'M the cruel one.

How am I the only one who ever means it when she says she won't leave. When she says she will fix things and stick with someone? How is it?


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Oct 15, 2006 - 01:33 AM
Crisis not averted.
She doesn't love me anymore.

General Astura Tsukari says:
I'm not your Ashy anymore. I'm sorry

This is it. This is the fucking end. My best friend. My lover. My world is gone.


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Oct 14, 2006 - 04:06 AM
Well.
Crisis averted, I guess.


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Oct 13, 2006 - 08:16 PM
The greatest birthday present of them all.
Ashleigh broke up with me.


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Oct 13, 2006 - 02:16 AM
SOMEONE VERY IMPORTANT WAS BORN TODAY!!! SOMEONE AWESOME!!
Sacha Baron-Cohen.



Currently Playing: Oh yeah, and me.

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Sep 29, 2006 - 04:53 PM
Stupid impending birthday emo rant.
For once in my life I am at a pretty calm spot. I am not working too much, I am not dealing with terrible loneliness or overwhelming relationship troubles, nothing like that. I can write, as futile as it may be when hardly anybody reads my stuff, but at least I can still do it. I have been getting an abundance of good music, begun to accept a lot of the things from my past, and am in a pretty good place with my father.

But I am still kind of unhappy. I turn 22 in just about two weeks and I have no plan. I've never really had a plan about anything, but it's beginning to sink in more now. I have never had a plan in my life, and when I do, even when it's something small like planning to go do something with Ari, I just worry about how things will fuck up or it will fall through. Though, I think I know why I don't plan things, and that's that I should've died several times by now... and yet I haven't.

So now I am sitting here, very much alive and somewhat healthy, and have no fucking clue what to do with myself. I keep this stupid idea that maybe I could write for a living, but it's a stupid dream, and I should probably do something else... but I just can't. I can't resign myself to mediocrity. My older brother is a brilliant, talented artist with a college education and experience in computer graphics and such, and he runs a god damned towing company with his wife (that she inherited), and that whole situation really fucking disheartened me. Am I doomed to be a fucking nobody the rest of my life as well? I was told I was special since I was a little girl. I sang, I played piano, I wrote, but none of it means shit, really. My brother is proof of that.

How did I get so hopeless? After everything I'd been through, I told myself that things would get better. That in the future I could would be able to do something I enjoyed and be happy. But now, suddenly, I don't feel that way anymore. The only thing I am looking forward to is the WoW expansion, or more immediately, the nachos I am having for dinner. I can't see anything but a couple days ahead, and I know I can't live like this, but it's the only way I know HOW.


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Sep 23, 2006 - 05:59 PM
Do me a favor, friends.
http://www.gamingforce.com/forums/creators-cafe/258-jessykins-writing-thread.html

Go there and read a story. One story. I don't care which one. Just choose one and tell me what you think.

They aren't long. Shorter than some threads on GFF even. Don't be a pussy.


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Sep 22, 2006 - 07:33 PM
I wrote a new story!
But you guys don't give a shit about that, so I'll talk about what I saw at the Mexican restaurant.

In the bathroom on the wall, someone had drawn a very small cartoony lion on the with the words "Only in Kenya" over it. It made me laugh because the place is really a crapshack. A roach-coach without the wheels. It was a strange place to find an internets reference.


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Sep 21, 2006 - 11:53 PM
I miss :nigger:
That is all.


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Sep 20, 2006 - 02:55 AM
So, who ISN'T banned yet?
It seems like every day I check this forum someone else cool has been banned. What the hell happened here?


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Sep 15, 2006 - 12:14 PM
I hate relationships.
So my girlfriend goes to help this new "friend" from class with her homework.

She doesn't come back.

I talk to her the next day. Apparently she got drunk with said LESBIAN friend, and stayed the night. Somewhere during all this, she posted a livejournal entry, but was somehow unable to email me and tell me she was getting drunk with some other girl I'd never heard of.

And I'm overreacting by assuming the worst? I'M the shitty girlfriend because of it?!

Like she doesn't know what I've been through before her? Like she FORGOT what she's done to me?!

This is fucking BULLSHIT.


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Aug 15, 2006 - 03:36 PM
I have proof that there is no God.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14360161/


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Jul 31, 2006 - 03:36 PM
This is the coolest shit ever.
For a while now, I'd been wondering what happened to Nepo of The O. He'd released a couple new songs on myspace, had a site up, but nothing was happening. There was no news, no new music, nothing. I'm a huge fan of the music, so this is particularly distressing to me. I don't think there was a day that went by where I didn't check the site or his myspace for some sort of info. There wasn't any. Finally, I resorted to sending him an email which you can find here:

Originally Posted by Me
Hi. Let me preface this by saying that I am a huge fan of yours. Your songs from The O are easily my favorites by the band (or my favorites period), and I think you're pretty much a genius. Since The O broke up, I've been craving some new Nepo tunes. For a while, I thought Gonna Get Got was going to be able to provide that fix, but with every new song I hear it seems like that precious sound has been lost. When your site finally got an overhaul, I was genuinely excited. Hearing songs like The Beast and Air is Brown really got my hopes up, and I continued to keep up with any news of you that I could, hoping that there would be news of an album or something. Anything.

Sadly, it doesn't seem that way. I don't usually do things like this, but out of desperation, I have. Please tell me if you've got something going on. An album, a single, a new TRACK for your myspace. Anything? I hope you haven't given up, because I haven't given up on you

I didn't expect anything in reply. However, I got one, and this is what it said:

Originally Posted by Nepo
hi jessy,

wow. thanks so much for giving such a shit about my music. i'm really
touched. you're right.
i haven't been too active lately. for around a year. i don't wanna get
into the specifics 'cause
they're extremely personal, but i've been dealing with a lot. About 2
weeks ago, i finally started
to get back to work... writing mainly. (i still need to put a band
together)

then, my day job suddenly fired three quarters of the staff, including
me. needless to say,
i was forced to shift my focus, cause i gots to pay the bills. sooo, i'm
dealing with that big
fat crisis right now. but i totally promise you, i've never considered
"giving up" for a second.

i've been planning on making 2 albums. first, i want to finish a couple
more songs &
release a compilation. with around 2 or 3 songs that no one's heard.
Then, i'm gonna sit down
and make a completely new big fat album which'll take a while.

since you're email was so earnest and flattering, i'm gonna send you a
track that no one else has.
it's kinda weird so give it a few listens before you toss it in the
garbage. also, could you
PLEASE not play it for anyone or make any copies? i want to stick this
one on the
compilation, so it would suck if a lot of people heard it. i'll trust
you to abide by my request
in advance.

i hope you like it, and thanks so much for the kind words. you've
inspired me to get back
to work.

nEPo

And now I've pretty much pissed myself in glee. The song also, is fucking awesome.


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Jul 31, 2006 - 04:49 AM
GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!
Or rather, give my writing attention.

Go to my writing thread HERE and read something. Maybe my new story. Maybe something old. But just show me that people have the ability to sit and read something that isn't a thread about toilet paper or posting your desktop.

Make me believe I'm not wasting my fucking time.


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Jul 29, 2006 - 06:42 AM
Someone here browses 4chan!
How do I know? Because they took my exact sig and posted it in /co/.

http://cgi.4chan.org/co/res/187376.html

That was a funny thing to stumble upon.


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Jul 25, 2006 - 06:24 PM
I feel so out of the loop.
Like I no longer fit in here. Is that true? Have you guys all forgotten the lovable emo dyke (Not Sass, me)?

You better not have, you fucking cunts.


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Jul 16, 2006 - 03:03 PM
ANTS ON A PLANE.
Not really, but close. Here's a story for you:

So last night at about 4am I decide to go to bed. I lay down, get comfortable and like any sane young woman I decide that maybe an orgasm would be nice before falling asleep. So, I get down to business. But for some reason I keep feeling weird tickles on my face and on my arm. Whatever. Lots of weird feelings happen when you masturbate.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, I'm done. I keep feeling the weird tickles so I finally get up and go to the bathroom to see wtf it is. I turn on the light, look into the mirror, and what do I see?

ANTS.

ANTS CRAWLING ALL OVER MY FUCKING BODY.

Regardless, I freak the fuck out. I pretty much utter what I can only call a shriek, followed by "Jesus fucking christ" before I jump into the shower (With my underwear still on) and frantically attempt to scrub them off of me. After a brief and panicked shower, I get back out and creep into my room to see where they are and where the fuck they are coming from. The latter I can't find, however, they ARE all over my fucking bed, all over my trash can, and all over my pillow.

I ended up on the couch, but not before tossing my garbage can into the garage and spraying bug spray ALL OVER my bed and wall and floor.

I didn't sleep well. I'm covered in ant bites. I'm not very fucking happy.


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Jul 13, 2006 - 04:21 PM
YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH THIS!!!
http://www.scifi.com/amazingscrewonhead/

All of you need to fucking watch this RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Mike Mignola (As in the creator/artist/writer of Hellboy and others) got an animated series done impeccably in his style. It's pretty damned entertaining and funny (especially near the end).

WATCH IT.


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Jul 13, 2006 - 04:59 AM
It's gonna be over soon between she and I.
I can just feel it.


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Jul 1, 2006 - 05:06 AM
I'm not dead.
Not quite.

I am still pretty run-down from the mono I had gotten, but I am getting better. Mostly it's an excuse for me to not work and play WoW all day, and surprisingly I am not minding too much. I'd figure by now I would've started hating doing this same crap day in and day out, but I realize I never really wanted much out of life.

I could probably do nothing forever and not care. In fact, I think I will.

On the plus side, Razikh is looking pretty badass:



Additional Entry Made Within The Hour (Also, what the fuck did I miss?):
Some weird shit has been going down since last I was active. I am disturbed.


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May 31, 2006 - 05:49 AM
What happens in Vegas....
So, my dad went to see Hank Williams III tonight at 7. He got home at 2am. This is how our conversation went.

Dad: "So, I'm at the concert, and I can't leave and get back in, so I have to watch the shitty opening act."

Me: "Okay..."

Dad: "So I go to the bar and I'm sitting there and these two women come up. They're obviously from out of town so I am nice and say hi and we talk, stuff like that."

Me: "How nice of you."

Dad: "Anyway, they have this suite at the Mandalay Bay. Like, one of those two bedroom fancy things on the end with a balcony and everything."

(Here is where I am getting curious)

Me: "Damn, nice. So... what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we went up to their suite, we got high, and they fucked my brains out."

Me: (Laughing my fucking ass off)

Dad: "I need to go out more often. I love this fucking city."


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May 29, 2006 - 04:36 AM
SEXUALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATED.
So Ashleigh is back for the summer. She got a job at Wal-Mart.

She also has given me 0 sex since she got back. ZERO. NONE. She's always TOO TIRED or her parents made her TOO UPSET or work is BLAH BLAH WHATEVER.

It's driving me fucking crazy. FUCKING. CRAZY.


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May 23, 2006 - 05:56 PM
Hey Sass,
We never talk anymore. What is this shit? Are you TOO GOOD for me now?!

THIS WILL NOT STAND! I demand you reply to this with something that allows us to have a long dialogue in my comments page.


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May 23, 2006 - 02:29 AM
Thank you, Crash.
(12:28am) <+Crask> DEFENDERS OF DYKOTRON CITY


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May 22, 2006 - 06:43 PM
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys.
I have mono!


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May 22, 2006 - 05:42 AM
I think...
I may end up single before the summer is through. Just maybe.


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May 17, 2006 - 12:07 AM
Sigh.
I'm having a really shitty day.


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May 15, 2006 - 06:19 PM
I have no idea why...
But I have masturbated six times today... SO FAR.

I just feel really, strangely insatiable. I go maybe an hour before I feel like I HAVE to do it again.

What's up with that?


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May 7, 2006 - 03:34 PM
Damnation.
I don't feel like it's safe to post anything more than the occasional minor entry here. If I were to get personal I would probably risk mocking.

Why do you make me feel this way, GFF?


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Apr 16, 2006 - 05:27 PM
Fantastic!
My grandparents are here visiting my brother and my father. They hate me for several reasons, none of which I want to list. Anyway, they convinced my dad to make a meal tonight that has a few things in it that I am allergic too. VERY allergic. Effectively removing me from dinner altogether.

What a couple of stupid old cunts. I think I'll order a pizza.


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Apr 16, 2006 - 04:15 AM
Seven years ago today.
My mother died.

Hmm.


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Apr 14, 2006 - 03:29 PM
Giggle giggle.



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Apr 13, 2006 - 02:32 PM
A Jessykins update.
It's been a while, Gamingforce. So here's what's been going on:

I made a lot of money at the beginning of the year and pretty much put myself into retirement for nearly 4 months. Unfortunately, it's running out. I'm not very happy about that, and I wish I didn't spend as much as I did like a retard. But oh wellz.

I am still with Ashleigh. As of last month, I've been in a relationship with her for a year, which, for me, is fucking monumental. Things are going very well and I've been pretty much the least emo as I have been in my whole life. That's good. I'm enjoying it.

I've been playing a lot of World of Warcraft. Too much, actually. It pretty much killed my urge (Capability?) to write, so I've been unfortunately slacking in that department. I will be working on it though. I miss writing.

That's the update!


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Apr 12, 2006 - 06:15 AM
Decision:
I will try and post more. I will try and write more.

Both of these things must be done!


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Apr 11, 2006 - 06:09 AM
I don't even fucking post here anymore.
So why did I make a new signature?

Man, what the fuck?


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Mar 24, 2006 - 05:24 PM
Sassafrass is a fucking cow.


A tauren? You always struck me as an orc player, really...


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Mar 20, 2006 - 07:10 AM
Oh, look, we have journals again.
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

There, now I saved you all the trouble of seeing that same message spread out over a thousand separate entries in different words. Good day.


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