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Jan 31, 2007 - 04:00 AM |
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The dark secrets of causing GREIF |
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An old monk in old Tibet once told me, "I rubber, you glue."
It took me fifty years of training to finally understand what this really meant.
The legendary land: internet. This is where dreams take place, and where hope is lost. On the game, we find those who lust to be the best, and most left behind for eternity. Their lust is not strong.
There are those who stand above all others. These people are truely one with the internet.
To cause greif to others while retaining none, this sounds easier than it may seem.
There are a few things one must learn before one attempts to greif. First and most importantly, never take any word spoken by your common man with any sort of offense. Nothing they say can stop you from creating havok. They can call you a fag, but they are the ones who are crying on the inside.
Second, never surrender. There is no loss in an IP ban, for this is the victory. If there's a will, there is a way to greif.
Now you are ready, and with nothing more than a bag on insults, a touch of mosogony, and a quick pair of hands you can easly greif the fuck out of anyone looking at the internet.
Take your fps. Team flashing/smoking. This works better with a team of greifers. Flash, smoke, flash, restock, repeat. If you're a Terrorist in Office in CS you know how great this is right when the round starts on a huge server.
Trash talk. The only insult people seem to know is "fag" so turn it around. "You're MOM is a fag, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh (don't stop this for a few minutes)"
This brings me to my next device: mic noise. Just make noise. If you get muted, change your name or rejoin the server.
Once you've mastered these techniques you can move on to more original and complicated techniques, such as the following:
Say the server you're playing on has Team Killing penelties. When you TK the victim gets a menu and has the option of killing you in return. You can use this to your advantage easily when simple TKing is just not an option in this situation. Shoot up a teammate and make it obvious you're trying to cause harm. They will more than likely kill you in return. YOU will have this menu now. The great thing is this menu lasts till the next round, so simply kill them off at the begining of the NEXT round.
OR try this one.
Take, say a team of four or more greifers and split them evenly on both teams (CT and T for Counter Strike). Have everyone lay-low for a while and pick off any non-greifers and keep any of your griefer friends alive on either team. Once everyone is dead EXCEPT the greifers it's time to party! The round will not end for a long time if it's a big server resulting in the best time of your life.
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Ok, say you're playing something like GUNBOUND where all you really have is text. This works great for anything text related. Talk mad mad shit. Hopefully the population of people you're greifing are really dumb or you're smarter than them. This makes it really easy. Never stop talking shit, they will get pissed off.
Ultimately, the biggest piece of advice I can give is NEVER lose your cool. Ignore the greifer or just laugh with them. It's more fun to laugh.
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