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Sep 2, 2010 - 05:51 PM |
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Favorite Recipes #1: Pizzle Soup |
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As y'all know, I'm totally the best chef in this forum. Years of academic study makes me I cook better than any of you pathetic niggas.
For your education, here is the special recipe made by me, Lucas McWilliams. No applause necessary. It is my favorite dish and i make sure to eat it every chance I get. it's not very often I can buy the main ingredient though.
PIZZLE SOUP
Ingredients:- 3 tablespoon of canola oil
- 1 large chopped onion
- 2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
- 1 tablespoon of crushed coriander seeds
- 1 teaspoon of salt
- freshly ground black pepper
And most important of all:- 1 pound of pizzle, otherwise known as ram or bull penis
Many places don't stock the most important ingredient. If you can't find it at your closest Chinatown store, you're on your own. I hear watermelon bait works on the ebony ones, although they taste better rare.
Directions:- Scald the penis, then drain and clean. Most animal penises are clean, since urine is sterile and antiseptic. Still, give them a good vigorous rub down to ensure cleanliness.
- Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
- Remove any scum, especially the sticky white variety. Simmer for 10 minutes.
- Drain and slice.
- Heat canola oil in a large skillet, until it is smoking. Don't overdo it or else your kitchen will burn down. Of course if this happens then you totally deserve it, noob.
- Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
- Add in penis slices, and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
- Stir in the remaining ingredients with ground pepper
- Add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
- Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender. You'll know this when the penis becomes flaccid.
- Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.
- Serves two. This dish is best served with fried rocky mountain oysters
, but that's a recipe for another day.
The penis tastes a little like beef tendons, though a bit more rigid. I can't say for the rest of you niggers, but it really does boost my virility. I tell you, I can easily screw a dozen bitches on the same night after downing a bowl of Pizzle Soup.
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