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Oct 4, 2009 - 12:43 PM |
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What's been going on. |
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For at least a year things with Rick have been a bit off, though I didn't realize how off until recently. Since he's moved in, we've pretty much just ignored each other...sitting at our own computers, doing our own thing. I realized this wasn't a typical relationship but I convinced myself that it "worked" for us.
That is, until I had to go and upset the applecart of our lives that had been working *oh so well* for us before hand.
Really, the root of it (though I swear to you this isn't the whole cause, it only set things in motion) has to be when I started going to the local planetarium in May. There was a young guy, Matt, who works there that I started talking to, and by the end of June I had added him on Facebook and he had invited me to a bonfire at his house up north. There I also met another guy who I've befriended named Marc.
What really changed things was when I hung out with Matt, Marc, and a friend from high school named Ben all in the same week in August and realized that I had more fun hanging out with these guys than with my own boyfriend. That's when I realized how truly off things were and how unhappy I was with the relationship.
I also realized that for fucksake, I'm almost 23 and in a deadend relationship. Rick has been the only guy that I've EVER gone out with, nevermind be serious with. I need to get out and live a little.
My dad didn't help things either by asking how Rick and I were doing a morning after Matt had been over and they had talked about Native American stuff for an hour -_- He went all fatherly and saying "I think you should find someone who you have more things in common with...not specifically saying Matt, but you know, someone". I :facepalmed:
At the beginning of September, I had the "talk" with Rick that I wasn't happy with the relationship. I stopped kissing him before he left for work, hoping that he'd initiate it (I always initiated ANY form of affection, that was another part of the problem), which never happened. Eventually, I stopped hugging him all together and then on nights that he was home, I put a pillow between us.
On August 31st, my dad served eviction papers to one of his tenants, Norman, who had become so bothersome that my father just wanted him out of the house. When I had the "talk" with Rick, honestly it wasn't even in my mind yet for him to move downstairs once the room was empty. Initially, the idea was for me to use it as a quiet study room. It wasn't until later in the month of September when things seemed to get more and more irreparable that I thought it might be a good idea for Rick to move down there.
I kept this idea from Rick, because I didn't want to tell him until it was confirmed that Norman found a place. I didn't even tell my dad until a week ago. I just tried to get by a little longer with what we had going.
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But Thursday when Rick picked me up from work things got weird. He started out saying something about my "boyfriend". I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and he was just all "oh, you know". I then listed every guy I talk to and why it couldn't be any of those guys and he said something like "it might not be any of them, but I'll find out".
He then continued to say that he has an informant or something like that, following me around and watching what I do. I told him that I had been honest with him and that there was only one thing that he didn't know but that I didn't want to tell him yet. Eventually I told about how I thought it'd be a good idea if he moved down to Norman's room once he moved out. He then said he had known about that for months (though I'd only decided it within the last two or three weeks). He then said he had microphones around the house and stuff. Just being generally creepy.
The whole time we were having the argument though, I was bursting out laughing. For one, I have a horrible habit of doing that when I'm nervous/don't know how else to react, and two, because it was completely insane. I really didn't think it was funny though, really I wanted to cry.
When I got home, I told my dad what happened. He then told me Norman found a place and would be moving out in the morning. Timing couldn't have been more perfect.
I admit, I may have been unnecessarily bitchy and cold the last couple of weeks. I don't deny that I was also in the wrong or at fault. But I don't play psychotic mind games.
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Response to:
I'll get this assignment done sometime this weekend~
A possible Settlers of Catan potluck was discussed last night with one of them 
We would need two more people though...
