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		Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis
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The_Griffin's

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Apr 30, 2006 - 03:06 AM

Silent Hill 1

So I downloaded the original game, 'cause I'm too cheap and lazy to find it around town.

Popped the fucker into ePSXe, and started playing.

My initial reaction? I got about to where I need to go to the school, got lost, and gave up.

I only really got freaked out twice during my play. The first time was during the initial scene, the second during the first trip down that god damn alley, and that was more the sirens and the corpse than the babies attacking me. ;_;

Somebody PLEASE tell me that this game gets better as I go along, or I just... won't play it again.

I have been spoiled by the intuitive controls of Mario 64/Ocarina of Time. Tomb Raider/RE style controls make me CRY now.

(8 furverts)

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[public entry #9]

Apr 24, 2006 - 10:39 PM

This is what I get for fapping before bed.

REALLY fucked up dream last night.

What I can remember of it is basically becoming friends with two sets of tentacles. And we're not talking the "Oh look an octopus" tentacles. We're talking the "RAPE RAPE RAPE" tentacles.

Which did so to me. Several times.

I'm a man, in case you were wondering.

Then somehow, I wound up on an armored car, trying to stop two male robbers from getting away with the money. They just sat there and let me (stealthily) put all the money in boxes so that they wouldn't get away with it, and then the tentacles I had made friends with came out and subdued them. With rape.

But they got tired from the rape and let them go, and I couldn't stop them, so they got away. Thankfully, without any of the money.

About that time, I woke up. It was 4:50 in the morning, and I just thought "What the FUCK was that?" and went back to sleep after a few minutes.

Fchan produces WEIRD-ass shit in my memories.

Of course, the night before I had dreamed of being a template character on the Public Test Realm for WoW, and having all grey and whites for gear (lol), so I dunno. My brain's just overactive.

Currently Playing: Severely Questioning My Sexuality

(9 furverts)

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[public entry #8]

Apr 20, 2006 - 01:16 AM

Advent Children (SPOILERS AHOY)

So I broke down and downloaded the Japanese version.

To be honest? I think it does absolutely nothing to alleviate the stigma of video game movies.

I played and even BEAT the game (okay, so I had to cheat to get through North Crater >_> <_< ), and half the time I had no clue what the fuck was going on. I think that I got something about some kinda disease that was a result of the cells of Jenova in the Lifestream. But let's be honest here, people; the entire plot was just a way to give Cloud an excuse to kick ass, even more so than Neo in the Matrix sequels.

Which brings us to the fights. UGH.

I literally loll'ed at half the fights in the game. Tifa/that weird boxer guy with the funky-ass weapon was the worst offender. If you can get through that fight with a straight face, then you either are a complete fanboy, drooling over Tifa's titties too much for your own good, a complete retard, or all of the above.

But that's implying that the rest of the fights are better. Oh, no. The motorcycle chase was a CLOSE second. There's something WRONG WITH THE ROAD when your motorcycle can do doughnuts at 115 MPH while you block bullets with your oversized sword (using all six at once in an X-TREME JUGGLING ACT) and not end in losing everything you love/hate to fire.

And the battle against what I'm ASSUMING to be one of Bahamut's incarnations (although he is never named as such) ended in an incredibly hilarious fashion.

And let's be honest, poor Red XIII didn't get enough screen time. ONE LINE ISN'T ENOUGH FOR HIS AWESOMENESS.

Seroiously, there's something wrong when fucking CAIT SITH, SANS THE "WTF" MOOGLE, and a DEAD WOMAN get more lines than he does.

All furry-based ranting and frothing at the mouth aside, to be honest, this movie is, IMO, the perfect example of why video games and movies are incompatible formats. It suffers most from not enough screen time. Sephiroth made at most, a 10-minute appearance, and he's the final villain. There wasn't enough plot development, the resolution for the whole geostigma disease was contrived at best, not to mention totally unexplained ("o hey guys here's some water drink up" "I'M CURED"), two people who are implied to be dead appear out of nowhere for all of 30 seconds and then disappear again, and that's just the surface.

I want my fucking one hour and thirty minutes back. >=(

The worst part is that I came to GFF to post this and I found out it was down. ;_;

(2 furverts)

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[public entry #7]

Apr 16, 2006 - 06:33 AM

Silent Hill 2's Dog Ending

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUDcS...2D167530%2Ephp

Winner.

The credits music is the greatest thing since fucking SLICED BREAD.

(3 furverts)

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[public entry #6]

Apr 9, 2006 - 03:46 AM

This movie is made out of pure WIN.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...our+dead+bones

This thing is so... utterly terrible, it's awesome. Also, Sir VG provided the voiceover for the first two lines, why lie.

In other news, Firefox's image zoom addon hates me. PROOF:

(1 furverts)

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[public entry #5]

Apr 1, 2006 - 04:19 AM

Why the fuck is Rasputin around?

http://www.gamingforce.com/forums/me...fo&userid=4123

Seriously, the bitch got perma-banned. So why has he not only come back, but made several posts, several journal entries, and had a mod comment on one?

Seriously, WTF, GFF. >=(

[1]

(5 furverts)

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[public entry #4]

Mar 25, 2006 - 12:54 AM

Something my parents have been doing is eating at me lately.

>=O

Alright, so I've been a delivery driver for about 3 weeks, nearly 4. I've been making pretty good money. Yesterday I bought Oblivion with a part of the tip money I've been making, and have been loving the shit out of it.

But that's not what this is about.

On Saint Patty's Day, my sister and brother-in-law came over. I joined in bringing a pizza and wings and caught the tail end of a game of Trivial Pursuit they had started. Much beer was imbibed, much pizza was eaten, and a jolly good time was had by all. Then all of a sudden out of the blue, my mom tells me "We want you to give us a hundred bucks a month to pay for car insurance, and another hundred to pay for tuition."

Now, I had just gotten my first paycheck a week earlier. Working 20 hours, I had made something in the range of 100 bucks. We get paid every two weeks, so I'm expecting my next to be somewhere in the range of 200 bucks.

Now look at that for one moment. My mom essentially wants me to give them HALF OF MY PAYCHECKS.

I immediately brought this up, and my sister was all like "Well, you still have one paycheck and tip money." To which my parents agreed. So I reluctantly agreed to this, something which I sorta regret now.

Today, my parents had me go get my brakes fixed, and I did so. When I came back, they mentioned that I probably wasn't going to be able to make the payment for car insurance this month. Then, we decided out of the blue to count my tip money. Grand total: about 145 bucks.

My mom looks up and says "Well, I guess you'll be able to make the payment after all."

And then she laid out the plans for tonight and tomorrow, which included me filling up their gas tank and paying for it with my money (because they "only have 19 or 29 bucks in the bank"), buying my brother-in-law a present with my money (which I don't mind), and getting some "groceries" (popcorn and bread) with my money (which I do mind).

Now this is where I'm incredibly pissed. My mom implied that she wouldn't dip into my tip money, and now she turned around and outright said "I want your tip money."

I am now considering to tell them to go fuck themselves. They want HALF OF MY PAYCHECKS, want me to fill their fucking huge-ass van with gas (40 bucks in of itself), and want me to give them part of my tip money?

So I'm asking you, GFF. Should I tell my parents to fuck off? Or am I being an ungrateful brat?

Keep in mind that I was originally planning on saving up to get a 6800 GS and maybe a Nintendo DS with a few games later on, and that because of this, I won't be able to do any of these for a good month. At least.

Currently Playing: South Park the Movie - [Gamingforce Original Soundtrack] - Uncle Fucka

(4 furverts)

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[public entry #3]

Mar 21, 2006 - 01:32 AM

Welcome to six months ago

So I just finished watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The new version.

And I'm going to get flamed to HELL by saying this, but I thought it was as good, if not better in a few instances than the Gene Wilder movie.

Depp was... well, he was bizzare in this film. Which sorta makes sense, since he's had no human contact for about 10 years, much less MEANINGFUL human contact. He actually sorta reminded me of Adrian Monk, and in those moments where he was awkward, had no clue what to do, and had no social skills, Depp just fucking shined. He wasn't perfect in the role; in the factory, he got a little too comfortable with interacting with others, but he still occasionally had that deliberate awkwardness that makes him, IMO, better in some parts than Wilder.

The boat scene was a big letdown. I would've LOVED another acid trip like the original, and for a moment you could catch a fleeting glimpse of the original, but it was gone after a second.

The kids outside of Charlie Bucket were perfect, if by perfect you mean "I want to fucking bitchslap each and every one of these shitstains until they get some fucking common sense." Mike T.V. or whatever the hell his name was played the role of a douche perfectly. If you ask me, it was a tie between him and the rich snob whose name I never really caught and can't remember, then it was Violet (who is fucking VIOLENT at times in this movie), and then it was Augustus Glopp or Glupp or whatever. Augustus only really showed his assholishness in his first appearance, when he was holding the ticket, and then when he got in the factory, he was more like Godzilla than anything for the short time he was present before he went down the tubes.

I'm not entirely sure I liked the modern approach; I personally would've preferred it had stuck to its 1930s Great Depression roots.

Oh, and the introduction for Wonka was fucking brilliant and just classic Burton. There's nothing like puppets singing a copycat of "It's a Small World" and then bursting into flame and having their eyeballs melt and fall out of their face.

I didn't like the flashbacks, though. They seemed a little forced, truth be told, and the "braces" (braces more liek bondage amirite) were over the top.

Aside from that, it had its ups and downs, but all in all, it was about as good as the original movie. The Wilder flick surpassed it in several ways, but I felt that the new one had a better Grandpa, and a Wonka that played up to par with Wilder most of the time, and surpassed him sometimes.

(0 furverts)

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[public entry #2]

Mar 19, 2006 - 06:57 PM

There are times when I hate being a delivery driver.

So the other day I go to make a delivery to an apartment. I'm having a little trouble finding the place because the buildings aren't in alphabetical order, so I call up and she gives me directions. Then I make it over a few minutes later, and knock on the door.

She opens it up and the first thing I notice is that she's wearing nothing but a blanket.

Now before you make "70'S PORN MOVIE" comments, keep in mind that this chick was not porn star material. Unless you're into this shit, you sick fuck.

It was a mark of self-control that I managed to complete the transaction without fucking up hard and asking her if she was wearing just a blanket.

When I got in my car though, I couldn't resist sitting there for a few seconds and thinking "What the hell was she doing before I delivered that pizza?"

Outside of that, though, I love the job. There are two things that I would like to ~~complain~~ comment on, though:

1) It's fucking HARD to read addresses in the dark. Oftentimes the lights being on can even make it harder to read them. Doubly hard if there's no streetlights in the area, either (which is more common than you think), or if the numbers are smallish and/or a similar color to the background.

2) I fucking hate getting stiffed. You have no clue how much it pisses me off when I work my ass off, and get you your pizza practically fresh out of the oven, holy-shit-I-just-bit-into-it-and-the-sauce-burned-my-tongue hot, and not only get you the pizza on time, but as much as 15 minutes EARLY, and the guy hands me a check for the exact amount and all but slams the door in my face.

3) I'm pissed at my parents, because they want me to basically give them half of my paychecks "for tuition and car insurance." I can sorta understand car insurance, but 100 bucks a month to pay for tuition? I call bullshit.

Currently Playing: Earthbound_Red_Blue_Sanctuary_OC_Remix (I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG)

(0 furverts)

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