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Sep 7, 2010 - 04:23 PM |
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Ok, you guys wanna patronize me? |
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Let me drop The Truth Bomb. This is the message I originally wanted LFers to forward for me:
Ok buddy, forward this to everybody you know who's in on The Joke. Scroll down to the bottom if you want the new rules.
It's time I explained The Plan and what I feel are the most important points of the notes that need to be addressed right now.
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WHY DID I HAVE TO DO THIS?
Well my primary motivator was trying to get laid, and by extension get all of my girl friends laid. What do I mean? I'll explain in a bit.
Why did I know I had to follow through on The Plan? Because I wanted you to LEAVE THEM ALONE! All of the social outliers, all of the retards, queers, faggots, fatties, racial and ethnic minorites, the poor, the trashy, all of the people who couldn't control the circumstances of their lives because they lacked access to the information and opportunities that could help shape themselves. You've robbed them of an education because you've withdrawn funding from our schools. You see criminals as boogeymen out to take your possessions and rob you of dignity or life, and you joke around about prison rape as if it were an acceptable punishment for the monsters of society. You think that allowing thugs, rapists, and murderers to be the arbiters of justice is ok, and that's fucked up! There's no justice in that, the US prison system can be torture and few of you care! Nobody is subhuman, you simply can't think that way.
I know kids with autism who are being poisoned by irresponsible industries and an indifferent society. I know some have wanted to kill themselves because they don't comprehend how people could be so cruel for no reason, and it makes it even more difficult for them to be able to relate to anybody. If I ever see any of you picking on an autistic or a "retard" ever again me and my Goon Squad will personally give you the most righteous ass-beating of a lifetime!
You like to think of Hitler as an evil supergenius because you think it makes the rise of the Nazis believable. All Hitler ever really wanted to do was make art. Maybe he wasn't that good at it, but he was rejected by the establishment institutions and was never given an opportunity to improve. Hitler coasted in on general sentiments of hatred and malaise because the vast majority of Europe was anti-Semitic. Few people want to deal with how many Poles collaborated in the establishment of death camps and the rounding up of Jews, and nowadays Polish capitalists are using slave labor from North Korea in order to do construction on the cheap. So much for the communist independence of Juche ideology, eh? Good Polish people have to deal with such human indignities constantly and few of you are paying attention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koreans_in_Poland
But why did I HAVE to do it? Because maybe I was the first to put all of the pieces together and realize that crazy people are spreading their insanity through the social tools that have been available to us for over a decade. Because I fear a class war of epic proportions in which no side will ever admit that they were all in it for the same reasons: them and theirs.
I hope we've avoided this death spiral. Thank you for believing in me.
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SOCIAL WEAPONS
Introduce these to your friends when you want to show them the big picture:
The Joke - if you can read my facebook from top to bottom and understand everything you have what it takes to understand anybody that speaks English, the biggest Lingua Franca in history.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...00000551996572
The People - my playlist, a combination of audio, visual, and textual cues that should make all people understandable to the viewer patient enough to sit through it. Thanks to everyone involved in the production of those clips and to the people who cared enough to upload them.
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...7C5EB56F2C9887
The Way - just my notes. Originally I thought I would write out the manifesto until I realized that any degree holder in the country could look at my notes and see at least some of the truth in what I was saying.
http://s60.photobucket.com/albums/h3...ylama/The_Way/
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THE PLAN
Originally The Plan was to wait for somebody with ways and means to come to Stillwater and put me on The Path to Power, whether that would be a Senator, a Talking Head on the tv, whatever.
The Plan had to constantly be revised, however. Eventually I realized I had to pare the truth down into my facebook because I was rejected from every online community I was a part of, and because there was a girl out there who I knew could die.
A good friend of mine has a girl friend who is about to be deployed to Afghanistan with her boyfriend. She's had a miscarriage, and an abortion, and she feels guilt for ending lives when it wasn't her fault. She and her friends thought I was a creeper because I wasn't paying attention and walked into their room when I was supposed to go into the room on the opposite side of the hall. She thinks that serving in the military will prove herself as an adult, but she and her boyfriend are in serious mortal risk because being a truck driver ain't what it used to be. I wanted to show her my notes and convince her and her boyfriend to accept a dishonourable discharge, but my friend refused to let me do it. I had to do something, I had to get the truth out there ASAP.
My grandfather on my mother's side was a truck driver in Korea when the Chinese picked up the slack for Kim Il Sung. My other grandfather was ready to deploy on combat mission in Japan when the ceasefire went into effect. The Korean War was the last modern military conflict the US engaged in which operated under conventional means. The Chinese were experts at subterfuge and infiltration tactics, but the fronts remained relatively stable. Behind the lines my grandfather didn't have much to worry about because the US maintained air superiority and the enemy was held up at the front. The only friend my grandfather lost to that war died when he didn't properly care for his service rifle and it went off at the wrong time pointing in the wrong direction.
Today it's a much different story. The weaker side in any asymmetric conflict has to rely on ambush and subterfuge in order to weaken the occupying force. The enemy could be anywhere and supply convoys are under constant threat of attack or roadside bombs.
The New York Post painted The Marlboro Marine as a hero who was kicking butt for our freedoms, when actually that kid was a shell-shocked victim of our collective bloodlust. The fucked up shit that he saw scarred him for life, and James Blake Miller should be remembered in order to remind us why war should never be an option. So many of our legislators expressed righteous fury when we lost track of the dead buried at Arlington, but they would never express similar outrage over our foreign policies which continue to put bodies under the ground across the world. Suicide in the service has become an epidemic.
http://www.mediastorm.com/publicatio...arlboro-marine
So how did I know The Plan could work? I realized that we've been leaving paper trails online and in real life our whole lives. Whenever you post on a message board each comment has a timestamp and a pseudonym. If I could tie my pseudonym to my facebook I could get anybody in the world to pay attention to it and get in on The Joke. All I needed was enough buzz generated in real life and through the internet to get people to pay attention. How did I do this? By refusing to insult people's intelligence. What made me seem so weird to everybody around me is that I was being real for once, I respected complete strangers and did my best to help them out. So now that you've all paid attention you're aware of the big picture. With your help I've been able to create a global secret society of truth-tellers. Thank you for your time.
If you're reading this and you've still banned me then get over it. You lose, I win.
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THE BUTTON
Why did we keep our finger off The Button? In The Fog of War, Robert S. McNamera talks about how many times we came close to nuclear annihilation with the Soviets. Yet each time we kept our fingers off The Button that launches the nukes. Why? Because anybody who had their finger on the button understood the gravity of what they would do. The eradication of the human race. The Red Line between the White House and the Kremlin has saved the world because the Presidents and Premiers understood that they had to talk to each other in order to avoid a futile nuclear conflict. We negotiated with our enemies in the Cold War, and when the Soviet Union collapsed we all of a sudden didn't think we needed to negotiate anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXKJr4MvkQM
Nuclear proliferation is terrifying. Dr. Strangelove dealt with the inevitability of some psycho getting control over events that could set off a chain reaction of nuclear hellfire. Today the same situation is still true. What if someone got their hand on A nuke? Someone with the convictions and the will to set it off in any major city of their choosing. Everybody would be looking for someone to blame, a state actor, states harboring nuclear terrorists, the uncertainty would panic the world and every nuclear weapon would be pointed at every country in the world. How could we save ourselves from the brink of absolute destruction when human reaction would demand revenge?
Today we're told that Iran is seeking nuclear weapons, even though there are members of our intelligence apparatus who have admitted that Iranians don't have the data necessary in order to produce a nuclear weapon anytime soon. But the Ayatollah and Ahmadinejad want Iran to remain a big player in the region. They want to spread Shia Islam throughout the Middle East, and they want to be considered a bulwark against Israeli aggression in Lebanon. They WANT us to think that they're trying to get their hands on the bomb because they don't want to be messed with. So much to the point that they're willing to bring on the ire of the US and Israel, who both possess nuclear weapons.
Today the Green Revolution still simmers in Iran, and if you can get the word to any revolutionaries there I want you to tell them to stop thinking about the use of force and start thinking about peaceful protest which will undermine the establishment.
We have to be able to accept the proliferation of nuclear energy if we want to be able to move on from an energy economy based on fossil fuels. We can't constantly accuse our "enemies" of proliferating nuclear weapons when there's no sound evidence for it, and the only thing that supports the idea is our collective paranoia. North Korea has the bomb now, why didn't we try to stop them? Because their conventional force could eradicate South Korea's economy in minutes. It's easy to pick on the little guy when you assume that you hold all the good cards, but if we went into a confrontation with Iran their naval defenses would give our fleets a serious black eye in the same way Argentina wreaked havoc on the Royal Navy.
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REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS FOR WOMEN
Reproductive rights are vital for the gender equality of women, as males never have to deal with the burden of carrying a child to term and the physical trauma of the birthing process. It makes it next to impossible to work with manual labor, and mobility is seriously affected. A lot of you guys out there think that you somehow have a right to demand that "your child" be carried to term but you don't have to deal with the trauma so shut up.
Nobody likes the idea of an abortion, but the right to have one is fundamental to gender equality. Babies are basically walking Ids, they have no concept of things existing outside of their perspective so the most important things to them are a breast and a human face. I'm not saying it's ok to kill a baby but our ancient ancestors practiced infanticide because babies are a burden, and it's important to keep in mind that a fetus is not a baby.
Maybe you only think of abortion as murder. You don't think of it as an invasive procedure which could traumatize a woman, and you compound her guilt by calling her a child murderer. Well get over it, because a fetus is not a child it only has the potential to be one. All of you had the potential to become what you are and the very fact that you exist means you've won the biggest numbers game in history. We have to put a priority on life which survives the birthing process, because few of you who want to take away women's rights are willing to socialize the child rearing that you forced a single mother to go through.
We can avoid abortions entirely, though. When Rand Paul said that he didn't support abortion in any case he mentioned in passing that Plan B was available. Rand Paul may not be a licensed doctor, but his father is a successful OBGYN and he would have had to try hard not to pick up some pointers from his dad. What Rand Paul wasn't willing to follow through on is the fact that if we have ubiquitous dissemination of condoms and Plan B abortions can be avoided. Maybe you don't think you should teach your kids how to have safe sex, but because of that attitude teenage pregnancy is an epidemic. Maybe you think life begins at conception, but that's the official line of the Catholic church. The same Catholic church which tells Africans not to use condoms (which spreads AIDS) and which shuffled around priests when it became apparent that they were molesting children.
Now I'm not saying that Catholics are bad, but your religious institution is a joke. How many of you are even aware that the popes once ruled their own feudal kingdoms in central Italy? Liberation Theology may be popular among South American Catholics, but I guarantee you that a Liberation Theologian has a snowball's chance in Hell of being elected Pope.
Guys, the first step on the road to reconciliation between genders is for men to admit that they have all the power. How do I know that? Because Hillary Clinton thinks she has to wear pantsuits in order to get elected. Politics are still very much a man's game, and women who don't sacrifice their principles to play in a man's world like Haneen Zoabi are constantly looked down upon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haneen_Zoabi
Why do I care so much? Because I distinctly remember my first crush. When I was in the second grade I was a smart kid who made good grades. In fact I was one of the smartest. My biggest rival was a cute girl who always made better grades by maybe a few points and I deeply resented her for it. One day she scraped her knee pretty bad and I could hear her crying. I immediately felt: here is a comrade, here is an equal and she’s in pain. Every instinct I had was geared towards wanting to comfort her, and the only thing that held me back was a fear of social rejection.
Girls are people, so start treating them like it already.
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FOOD SECURITY
What does that mean? I get all the food I could want so that means I'm secure, right? WRONG.
Your food is not secure. It's being poisoned by industrial runoff and synthetic chemicals. The chemical industry may be capable of producing vast amounts of produce, but it does so irresponsibly. The Ogallala Aquifer, for instance, is being drained at a rate faster than it's taking in ground water. It's being drained because industrial farms suck it up in order to generate far more produce than we need.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogallala_Aquifer
We subsidize farmers and pay them in order to undergrow crops. We heavily subsidize meat and corn because their lobbies have a stranglehold on the seats of power. Corn shouldn't be a key ingredient in everything, but it is because import protections for Louisiana sugar planters make HFCS a cheaper sweetener than sugar. We like to think of small time family-owned farms still being the shape of our agricultural landscape, but the truth is that small farmers and ranchers are being muscled out of business by massive agricultural conglomerates. These agribusinesses suck at the teat of the federal dole because our subsidies make it possible for them to shovel cheap food out into the marketplace at an obscene rate.
Industrial meat farms can be humanitarian disasters, and the massive amounts of feces they produce can contaminate the environment. Industrial pig farms collect their fecal runoff into hog lagoons, which are basically gigantic cesspools. When they bust open or when hog lagoons seep into the groundwater they can present an environmental disaster.
http://www.google.com/images?q=hog+l...w=1680&bih=857
How do I know our food isn't good for us? If you go to an international foods market and look at the ingredients list, you'll notice that there aren't any unnatural ingredients on there. It's just basic plant and animal products. They have few if any synthetic chemicals, and they use sugar as a sweetener instead of high fructose corn syrup. The food industry understands that humans are wired to crave sweet and salty things, so they've pushed out food products that present a combination of both. It can be extremely addicting! Fructose, by the way, has also been shown to accelerate the growth of pancreatic cancer at a much faster rate than glucose.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idAFN0210830520100802
You don't have to take my word on all of this, you can go to any nutritionist and they will tell you that people aren't eating right, or maybe they're drinking too much soda instead of water.
Also, it's not as if the food industry has been TRYING to make people unhealthy that's just a byproduct of our capitalist system. All we care about anymore is making money, and the economic conditions we currently have in place makes unhealthiness economic sense.
Ever since I ate regularly from an international food market I've been feeling right and thinking straight. Those of you who don't know how to cook need to start learning, I know that tons of you young people out there can't cook and the internet is the cheapest resource you could possibly ask for in order to start. Americans may think of international foods as strange or exotic, but I assure you it can be very much affordable assuming you don't eat like a glutton. You can also frequent your produce section at the supermarket and look for organically grown foods and humanely produced animal products.
We need food security if we want to create a global society without authority, because good regular food is the basis for a society in which anybody can achieve self-actualization. If food can be grown locally, or shipped in using clean and efficient freight like railroads, we can get all of the plants and meat we need safely and humanely.
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SORRY ABOUT THE "VIRGINITY CHALLENGE"
I was drunk and desperate, but it's basically still true. Guys you don't treat ladies right and you need to get a clue.
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I SEE YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE
You don't want to look me in the eyes because you fear for my safety, or your safety, or maybe you think I'm crazy. I assure you I'm not crazy, I'm just a regular dumby like any other jerk on the planet, I just needed to be funny enough to show you all that I'm not a messiah and never thought of myself as such.
If you're not sure whether or not you are a True Friend just give me a nod and I'll nod back. We're all brothers and sisters now, we have so little to fear.
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NEW RULES FOR THE JOKE
When you let somebody in on the joke, make sure that you can be there for them. The realization that nobody you hate or want to harm deserves it can be traumatizing for a lot of people. Now that I know you Seekers are out there, it's apparent to me that people could be killing themselves.
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SUGGESTED VOTING INSTRUCTIONS
Young people you need to register to vote. You don't vote because you think you can't make a change collectively, but that's only because you're not aware of your mortality. Old people are, and they're terrified. They're terrified because shysters like Glenn Beck are telling them that God will wash this country with blood and that they need to buy gold from his sponsors. But you can't kill Glenn Beck, it wouldn't be prudent.
So here are suggested ideologies or parties to vote for numbered by my preference:
1. Social-Libertarian
2. Socialist
3. Green
4. Libertarian
Socialist? WHY THAT'S SOCIALISM. Don't worry, you fear socialism because you don't know what it means. The Great Powers of the 20th Century both had a vested interest in never letting you figure it out. The Soviet Union operated under a State Capitalist model because they thought they needed a war machine to face off with the West. Today the US is headed for the same economic model with no social benefits because we keep bailing out economic actors who plundered our collective wealth.
Americans:
If you don't vote for a third party we're never going to get rid of our stupid bicameral system. If you can't vote third party then vote Democrat. Never vote for Republicans, the GOP is the enemy. Richard Nixon sacrificed his sense of shame to get re-elected on The Southern Strategy and ever since then the GOP has been lying to you all in order to get re-elected. Barry Goldwater never sacrificed his sense of dignity and few of you listened when he tried to warn you about the Morality Police.
British People:
Don't vote Tory, don't vote Labor. Vote Liberal Democrat if you have to. Nick Clegg thinks he has to play The Game in order to achieve electoral reform, so don't hold it against him.
Come 2012 I want the United States to re-elect Barack Obama. Why? Because he thinks he has to play the Game to accomplish anything, but all of the concessions he offers are being spat back into his face. The GOP is being obstructionist because they think you're all too stupid to figure out that all they want is to win. Despite the lack of Change, the Obama presidency could still turn things around using the power of the Executive (Presidents have accumulated far too much power over the years). If we can re-elect Barack Obama to the presidency in 2012 it will mark the year that we restored sanity to the human race instead of witnessing its downfall.
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THE NEW PLAN
For weeks I prepared my body to go onto the Path of Power, because I knew that if I was going to hold any office I had to demonstrate to you all that I could not be corrupted, that I was looking out for YOUR best interests and not the interests of capital.
Now that the truth is out there I know I don't need a position of power, so here's the new plan. I'm forming a small international coalition of film students who can collaborate with me on a series of educational youtubes that expand on the ideas in my notes. I have a paypal account set up, and I don't want any donations larger than five dollars. If you think I'm trying to scam you I assure you that trying to scam people through a facebook would have to be the dumbest con job in history. Through youtube I'll have enough exposure to possibly get on television, and challenge Glenn Beck to an open debate in a public arena. If he refuses then you'll know why, and it's because I would destroy him.
Eventually I'll link to my paypal account on the facebook, and if they try to freeze it due to flooding I need you people to yell at them the same way you yelled at facebook when they tried to ban my account. I can't do any of this without your help, and my youtube project is going to be one of the most collaborative efforts in history. But right now for Sunday, I want us all to enjoy The Fruits of Our Labors.
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Wu-Tang!
