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Aug 15, 2009 - 12:58 AM |
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Gather Ye, For Another Tale of Heartache and DISASTER (And Potentially Cake) |
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How many times can one flog a dead meme?
Now with half of the journal titled resolved via rhetoric, allow me to vent my spleen through the means of ChocoJournal and to random strangers. Well that's a bit unfair, seeing as how I'm the stranger in this close community, but I digress. This is a tale of naive teen romance, and how it started from puppy love to a worldwide NATURAL DISASTER (Day of Crisis!).
See, in my previous journal entries I cited changing trends and life as two reasons why I stopped coming in regularly. I had forgot to add two more reasons: (1) The GFF crashes that happened a while back. If I remember correctly, just prior to the crash GFF started introducing the level system, in which I found wildly addicting and an incentive to post as much as possible. When that was wiped, the will to continue after restoring my Level 20 was minimal :/ (which, co-incidentally, coincided with life picking up the tempo).
(2) I had just started getting into a relationship. This young, "budding" relationship was one with all the ingredients of a DISASTER: One, horny teenage guy, swooning an equally naive gal in the prime of their teenage years. One request for a date to the high school debuntant ball/formal and love blossomed from then on.
What followed were 4-5 years of pissfarting, with neither of us getting anywhere in life. She had dropped out of school after Year 10, and I continued to do my Year 12, but ended with a score that would have been VASTLY improved had I not been with her. "It's not her, that's just how un-smart I am," I excused.
The signs of this disastrous relationship were all there; I just chose to ignore them all. After all, I was "wise" to the experiences in life, and that any seemingly uncontrollable kinks to the relationship could be smoothed out later on in life.
Not listening to my parents' concerns about her being lazy, selfish and uneducated? "Psssh, what would they know?", I thought. Her wanting to always spend time with me and getting annoyed every time I wanted to hang out with mates? "Psssh, I guess she really loves me," I thought. Failing a few subjects at university? "Bah, I just wasn't used to the transition," I thought.
Then out of the blue, four years later, she announces that she "wants to take a break", to help her start a direction in life and for her to concentrate in finding a job. Thinking this to be the complete truth, word-to-word, I let her go and get on with life. It hurts like fuck, but the promise of getting back together keeps me going. In the mean time, things start improving. My relationship with my immediate and extended family starts to heal dramatically. My university results start rising. My social life starts coming back together.
Then, out of nowhere (after 10 months of not replying to calls, MSN messages and whatnot), she decides it's ready again. We try again, but with me noticing a few suspicious things I do some research to find that she had "taken a break" into finding another guy. I confront her, and BOOM. DISASTER.
[ /attempt at summing up the whole story ]
Now that I look back at the whole thing, I can't help but wonder what could've happened had I saved those five years. But that's life: you have your little mistakes, and then you have moments where you completely fuck up. I guess I was too impressionable of a young kid, deluded into thinking that one could find love at such an early age.
My ex-girlfriend was a DISASTER. She was selfish, gold-digging, unpredictable, lazy, meek and quick to judge. Now that I think about it, she wasn't even as pretty as I made her out to be and though the thing that kept me in the relationship was the sex (my excuse was that it was "love"), even that wasn't up to scratch (esp. now that I've delved into the deep, dark, underground world of "adult entertainment" ).
Well, so much for eloquent writing, but if I were to fully explain what happened I would be sitting here forever. Gotta start laying the bases for future relationships and perhaps note down the kinds of characteristics I would like for my next partner.
I'm back, single life. It's been a while. :P
| Currently Playing: Around the World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk |
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