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Jul 20, 2007 - 01:37 PM
I hate the retail business.
So lately, I have been working at a particular grocery chain in the produce department. I think I've always hated retail, but working here for these past couple of weeks has reinforced my loathing of this entire business category.

I'm not sure what it is in particular that I hate about it so much, so I'll just list a few things:

1. I make the same hourly wage as the retarded guy who sits behind a desk up front. He just relaxes there, smiling at people and asking them if they'd like to make a donation to whatever cause we're supporting right now. I, on the other hand, work inside a wet refrigerator trimming produce and listening to my boss talk about baseball. I hate baseball.

2. My department head (the boss) has apparently been working with produce since he was 16, and I'm pretty sure he's in his late 30's now. He's nutty about this shit, going on and on about how exactly the lettuce should look when I place it on display. He's married, but he and his wife live with his parents. Great career, asswipe.

3. I have to get up at 5:15 a.m. every single day to do this shit. Don't get me wrong, I'd still hate it even if I started work at noon every day. It's just that being up that early to work with vegetables is a crime against humanity unless you're a farmer.

4. When aforementioned idiot boss asks me to set up the shit on display all professionally, there's a 10-minute period in which it will remain that way until some old person randomly reaches in and knocks half of it over so that it looks like shit.

5. You're gay.

While the above list has been tailored to reflect my current job, the same shit happens at nearly every kind of retail job you can imagine. Retail should be shot.


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