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Sep 9, 2011 - 03:48 AM
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
YouTube Video



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[public entry #194]

Jun 1, 2011 - 09:43 AM
Fuck yeah Australia


I still don't know how this has happened.

Hopefully the rest of the world gets this on DVD soon too.


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[public entry #193]

May 21, 2011 - 11:48 AM
Spiders are on a quest to remove my thumb
hamsandwichvbhj
Man, fuck spiders. I don't even know where, but somewhere. Just smoosh my dick right into them or something I guess.

So I broke my thumb the other week because there was a spider in my shirt, and I was like "GOODNESS". In my calm effort to get this article of clothing and its resident beast off my body, my thumb somehow hooked onto the collar and bent back at some cool angle. It wasn't until a few days later that I got it checked out, because my thumb had turned a different colour and I found masturbating quite difficult. Very concerning.

SO RIGHT NOW I was reaching under the bed as I usually do and GOD DAMN SPIDER. Swung my arm back like a retard and hit my thumb on the pole thing. You know the pole thing. The stand. Metal. Holds the bed up.

But that spider, man. It's still in here. It'll call its friends. When I wake up in the morning I'll be dead. In the thumb.

Also it's been about three years since I've drawn anything with MS Paint so my skills might be a little rusty, but this is what the spider looked like.



They're the catfish of the sea.

Currently Playing: ghhbnb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

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[public entry #192]

Apr 11, 2011 - 03:06 AM
Hey guys!
How's it goin'? =)

Currently Playing: :cmb:

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[public entry #191]

May 31, 2010 - 02:30 AM
Suitcase is all packed
Pretty sure I've got all the essentials.



And for Acer.




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[public entry #190]

May 30, 2009 - 01:00 AM
Hey, wow, it's almost June


Thank God.



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[public entry #189]

May 16, 2009 - 08:22 AM
Tsk
Spoiler:

Trusty glass.


Eggs are crucial. But. Wait. Toto, I've a feeling we're not in April anymore. Toto? TOTO?!


It's been a long time since I've had delicious salmonella. Look at this pure egg cracking skill!




Sure why not. I've been mixing gin with pretty much anything since I won it in a raffle, I can't figure out what it's good with, so anything.


Coffee for GO GO GO.


I don't check the fridge too often, I think this tomato is just a bit past its prime.


Give me your terrible squishy power. A waaaaallkiiiiing bird.




EXTRA juicy. That means EXTRA power.




Excellent.




Noooo, my olympic dreams.


Currently Playing: Masayoshi Minoshima - Voyage 1969

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[public entry #188]

Jan 1, 2009 - 09:13 AM
Well now, 2009 sure didn't start too well


But here's hoping the rest of it shapes up a fuck load better than 2008!



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[public entry #187]

Sep 7, 2008 - 09:58 PM
bbb
I was in the city a few days ago, passing by the art gallery, as it's a very large building that's hard not to pass by when heading somewhere that's close but alternative routes would consume far too much time and leg power and there's like water that you'd have to get through and boats and shit would clunk you on the head and whoa now time to put this on the lunch menu.


A whiiiiile ago, a number of these things were cracked. Possibly by rad 80's style punk gangs hurling their chains at them and break dancing, they took them down and the spots have been empty ever since. UNLESS!


A CHALK HERO HAS ARRIVED.





They're gone now. I hope the real replacements are exactly the same. But with lasers.

I broke a Star Wars pinball machine at the arcade, knocked Jar Jar Binks off his plastic stand at the back which isn't really supposed to happen. He slid down the table a bit and ended up trapping my ball, so the machine eventually counted it as lost. I launched the next ball, also got stuck. Jar Jar continues to ruin everything all these years later!

Currently Playing: Glory Hill - Falling Down

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[public entry #186]

Sep 3, 2008 - 10:37 AM
))))
Spoiler:
I got this thing, this rectangle-ish paper in the letter box the other day, some new pizza joint has apparently opened up in a town far, far away and charges $25 for a single pizza when any other place will give you about seven hundred thousand buckets of grease and lice smeared on a base for half that. But they had all these weirdo toppings! ONION PIZZA. HOW 'YA LIKE THAT ONION? "Onion's okay" HAVE A WHOLE ONION PIZZA, TRAPPED IN THE CHEESE. "That sounds a bit boring and creepy" TWENTY FIVE BUUUUCCKS.


So I've decided to open up my own pizza place and make an all-in-one topping. Fuck those Pizza Hut/Joe Gas Station meal deals that come with dessert as an extra. Pffft, ttbbgghh, monocle. It already has dried red, how delightful! It's spread pretty thin though, we're gonna need to thicken this up.




It really lives up to its name!


Having a serious lack of stuff in the kitchen before preparing this didn't help, I mean, I don't even have any meat! But if ONION PIZZA can exist, then whatever.


Well this order of spreading didn't quite work out.


Strawberry conserve? More like strawberry flaming homosexual parade on the moon am I right.


It's just one big lump of goo. ;__;


Chuck on some syrup for good luck.


This may look like a mystery, but it's actually a bag of cheese! Really, really old cheese. It's not even real cheese, it's some kind of plastic. Plastic in plastic.


On they gooooo! ='D


It's lookin' real good now.


I only have one tomato, gotta make it count.


"COUNT"
"One, two, thre-"


DUCKULAAAAAA.


This'll do I guess. It's like the Disney Land of pizzas now - fucking scary.


Gotta pour that garlic salt on for delicious heart attacks. The yellow-ish powder stuff is ginger!


I'll love Coles Pineapple? Really?


Sure is wet.


OOOOOHHHH~~


Yeah, dump it all in the middle. That'll be fine!


MORE CHEESE TIME.


Due to the critical lack of meat, I've turned to tuna once again. LEMON PEPPER flavour, it's very fancy. Only sea slugs can smell it in the sky and dig them out with their hunting fangs. Restaurants charge close to $90,000 for one piece. And that's just for the tin.


This pizza has gathered a lot of juice, perhaps gravy mix will be of good use. For gravy.


And the secret herb and/or spice.


Oh yeah there are some prunes on there too.


NOW WE COCK IT.


Time passes


I'M HOT.


You sure are, pizza! I-... I love you!


Bad end. It's very difficult to cut, the melted M&Ms and various other layers of death have made it very sticky!




You can really taste the mess.


Delicious! Imagine a pool of chewed up bits of garbage and saliva on the plate. While you're eating dinner!


THIS IS OFFICIALLY NOT FOOD. I'VE CREATED A MONSTER. ALL I CAN TASTE IS THE FUCKING SHAVING CREAM.


Even the CRUST was impossible to consume, like biting BRICKS made of SUPERMAN AND KONAMI CODE.


This situation is serious, I shall bag the remains for further adventures. Stay tuned!


Currently Playing: RoughSketch - Killer Pill

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[public entry #185]

Sep 2, 2008 - 09:14 AM
Too much Snail Maze lately



...



...



...









!!!



...



DO DE DO DO DO DE DO DO



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[public entry #184]

Aug 28, 2008 - 06:50 AM
Ohhh maaah gaaaawd
Internet got cut on Saturday, although it was most likely Sunday. You know, when days switch at that special time. Because I forgot to pay it. And I usually pay the internet via the internet, which was quite impossible at the time! But then I went somewhere Monday morning and interneted! Then some internet, and I rang the internet with the telephone because I wasn't sure when the internet was going to come back and be the internet, "TOMORROW PROBABLY". But then several tomorrow's passed, and now it's Thursday which isn't Monday's tomorrow at all. I'm not sure which tomorrow will be the right one, so now I'm somewhere else again.

But Monday afternoon! There was a box! A BIG BOX. IT WAS SO BIG! The courier guy made grunting noises.


It was from Temari!


Even the mighty DINKEY KANG is dwarfed by its vast size...ness!




Oh no Dunkey Keng what are you doing.


Staaaaaare~
OH MY! (From left to right to left to right again);
- A bottle of space age Central Park green M&M's! I tried taking a swig, but they all got jammed in the bottles' neck, so I stuck my finger in there and a heap of them swarmed!
- An unbelievably accurate/cute (AWWW) scale model of the statue of liberty (with a chocolate bag, just like the real one!)
- Greatest thing ever. :M&Mgonk:
- I sure hope this is meant to be a back scratcher, though he has kind of like a GONNA RIP YOOO SKIN OFFFF look! Which is awesome!
- A nice letter from customs saying they opened the box, :M&Mgonk: probably scared the shit out of them.
- Tea towel! Smokin' hot? HE'S MELTING! Deliciously meeeelttiiiing!
- TY dog that can go online and play and things and! Currently guarding the computer. ='D
- CARD-O (probably should have scanned the front too!)



I ;_;'d, but it was a ^_^ type of ;_;'ing! So I guess it probably looked a bit like ^_; which would shatter mirrors. Smile? Laugh? This has made my forever, SO TOUCHED. Dubble, Dullenplain, Sprout, Temari - holy fucking shit. <3 Thanks so much!



See you tomorrow maybe unless it's not the right tomorrow again!
I will ponder the matching game some more tonight. I WILL GUESS WHO: GFF EDITION.


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[public entry #183]

Aug 12, 2008 - 05:58 AM
Kicked while down
Sam passed away last night. His heart had been in trouble for a while now, but he just fell to pieces so quickly. We rushed him to the nearest emergency vet, but there was nothing they could do.


1994-2008 / Rest in peace, mate.
Thanks for everything.




Response entries:
Happy Trails, Sam! by Ah! Amoeba

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[public entry #182]

Aug 8, 2008 - 09:03 AM
h
Hi! I've sort of been gone, and will continue to be sort of gone! Except more gone than sort of. I just thought I'd let you know in case you wake up one morning in the year seventythousandmillion and ask where's Poochie. Mostly due to [LOTSOFDRAMAGOESHEREI'LLSAVEYOUSOMETIME] Should I remove my avatar or what, I'm not sure what the standard procedure is here. But it's only like a sort of leaving thing, so maybe I should only half remove it. Or grey it out. And put BLOOD in the eyes and quote a poem in my sig. That'd be so sweet and deep and shit.

Oh yeah the garage was broken into the other day, nothing was taken because there's nothing worth taking in there to begin with. Seems like they desperately tried to find something, anything, but failed. Who breaks into a fucking garage? But still, I had to beef up the security system.







Nobody's messing with this garage ever again.


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[public entry #181]

Jul 12, 2008 - 06:08 AM
The Simple Series has hit its peak
Mother fuckin' GARBAGE MAN SIMULATOR.



D3 HAS FINALLY DONE IT. THIS WILL NEVER BE SURPASSED. Touch screen garbage truck controls and everything. Simple, more like Simply, Series, more like Awesome. Simply Awesome vol. 46. Seems you play as a convict or something doing community service. This art is also the best thing ever.



The guys face made me think of Brock.



Nice arms.

Currently Playing: Daytona USA - Let's Go Away (Advertise Theme)

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[public entry #180]

Jul 9, 2008 - 09:55 AM
Game Center CX
This is probably : oldnewsontheinternet : to some of you, but I just discovered Game Center CX. On the internet. It's a show about a fictional company run by an 8-bit king (or something) who demands Shinya Arino (the main guy) play some of the most difficult games made. It's been going since 2003 apparently, and so far the first season has been subbed along with a few specials. They're currently up to season nine in Japan, and there's even a DS game by Namco with parodies of their classic arcade games.

It's not like Angry Video Game Nerd/thethousandsofangryclones, he doesn't just rip into the games. He's given a day to complete the challenges, and the poor bastard usually isn't that good at the games. But he's really amusing in a weird way. He also talks to the original developers behind the games which is cool.

LINKS MCKENZIE


















But he doesn't just sit inside and play 'dem vidya games, he also explores arcades (hence the whole game center name) and has an obsession with prize games!















LEARNING IS FUN!







Currently Playing: The Bravery - Time won't let me go

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[public entry #179]

Jun 21, 2008 - 10:11 AM
Hahahaha








It is a disaster!

Currently Playing: Ace Combat 4 - Megalith -Angus Dei-

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[public entry #178]

Jun 11, 2008 - 08:45 AM
It's like pinball huuurrrrr
I've always been pretty curious about pachinko. Wait, no. Not really that curious. Sort of like half an eyebrow raise, so that people will look at my face and think I've had a stroke. I mean, I love pinball, and everyone and everything seems to call pachinko a cross between pinball and slot machines. But whenever I've checked out photos or whatever... it's just balls falling down pegs, where are the FLIPPERS. WHERE ARE THE THINGS.

I recently downloaded MAME again after four years or something, was confused to see it has a 1930's DOS layout now but hey. Grabbed some Teddy Boy Blues and Space Harrier, but while I was in the SSSSSSSS section, I saw SEXY.

Spoiler:



"I am a sea slug, buuuurrrrrr, hahaha!"


"Pssst, I have hamsters hidden under here, hahaha!"


"I also have back problems, hahaha!"


"Phew, by making sure I hit this ball, I've saved the world from nukin-... fuck!"


"MY HAIR IS VERY SWEATY TODAY"


"I can smell this drink"


"Would you like to smell this drink?"


SEXY REACTION PACHINKO

So sure, why not. I don't think I'll be walking over to Japan to check out the LIES of cross pinball action, so a very professional video game version of it will do!


First off you choose one of those three girls, I'll go with this thing.


Brief story... or something. Official translation.


The whole object of this is to win enough balls to force the girls to dress up in junk they don't want to. It's very awkward. Very sexy!!! Today!!!


The top part is how many balls you have. Impressive. The bottom is the SAMMY BRAND launcher.




Look at all this action. So you can tilt the launcher around, to shoot the balls to the left or right. Or middle. Or. Most of them simply just fall through the pegs and become lost souls.


I'M ALREADY BEATING BOWSER.


Yay! Tits! Getting the balls to land in the fancy red Tamagotchi things causes the slot machine part to be a slot machine.


This is supposed to be FEVER GO, I was just mashing the screenshot key because everything was making loud noises all the time! What the hell is FEVER GO? Something I'll need to see Dr. Mario for?


Okay, so it seems my balls now have the power to make the background explode if they roll down certain parts. That is fantastic, explosions make everything better!


GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU'RE BLOCKING THE EXPLOSIONS.


I think I won the everything?


Oh my.


"I am going to audition for the next X-Men movie"


"NO, DON'T LISTEN TO MY PLANS. I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY POPEYE ARM"


Well that wasn't a very sexy reaction.


But then she's all happy to show me her retarded new costume! Yay! Let's have pudding and puppy dogs! ^_^


New costume, wow! The things you can find at the dump these days.


Wait, this machine layout is the same, except for a different coloured background. It could pass as a Street Fighter sequel for sure.


Oh boy oh boy, will I match three up?! You don't even get to stop the bits yourself, all automatic. Ultimate interaction.


No =(


But then I did! =D


FEVER GO! CHILL! ROTATE THE PILLS!


Robotnik's down, time to run around Green Hill Zone.

BWOOP BWOOP
IT IS NOT SAFE FOR THE WORK:


"When I go for X-Men, I'm going to suggest my power will be about ham"


"Yes yes, my character eats ham all day. That's her power, she never gets tired of ham! It'll be awesome and worthy of an oscar like Grand Theft Aut-"


"...."


"NOOOOOO I SOMEHOW LEFT THE CURTAIN OPEN AGAIN, PART OF MY FINGER IS ATTACHED TO THIS RED THING"




She doesn't look happy, it must really have that classic dump smell to it.


Uh, alrighty then!


MUST FURIOUSLY LAUNCH BALLS LIKE A SHOOTING GAME.


Wuh oh, down to ten within a second or two! No success!


Okay!




NNRRRRRROOOOWWWWWW, action.


You can keep spamming the ball launcher when all this rubbish is going on, must... destroy... core.


But I don't have any balls left.


BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY BALLS LEFT!


BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY BALLS LEFT! "Oh!"


A tire falls on her head for being so thick.


Nah.

Fuck pachinko. >=(


Currently Playing: Alabaster - Someday the dream will end

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[public entry #177]

Jun 9, 2008 - 08:01 AM
Sometimes I Google search games and jump into random forums








Currently Playing: Yumkey Period - Genocide

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[public entry #176]

May 31, 2008 - 08:12 AM
Haibane Renmei


Currently Playing: Free Bird~

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[public entry #175]

May 30, 2008 - 08:27 AM
Caddyshack has both the crappiest and creepiest DVD menu ever

















.....













Currently Playing: with knobs

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[public entry #174]

May 19, 2008 - 08:04 AM
Niko at the mall #1


Currently Playing: Firebrand Boy - Famous

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[public entry #173]

May 12, 2008 - 10:03 AM
Rawkee
Secret: I'd never seen any of the Rocky movies before last week.
Secret: I've seen them all now.
Secret: Keep it under your hat okay.
Secr-okay!?

You know those creepy DVD bins that constantly populate precious walking space at stores like McDonalds and Ted's Super Paperclip Extravaganza? They're often stacked high with obscure western movies nobody wants, or 'Zany Ten (10) Pack! Action! Shouting!' things... filled with obscure western movies nobody wants.

Well sometimes I'll hold my nose and have a dig through them, just in case something worthwhile appears. I've scored some pretty decent stuff in the past like example 1 and example 2. Now, here comes ROCKY. Three bucks. I've heard about them plenty in the past, but a movie about boxing? How delightfully absurd. Three bucks is three bucks though, and three bucks is bucks three thrbucksthreebu.

It was awkward to watch. I had a tough time figuring out if Rocky was really dumb or actually had brain damage. But he grew on me! When he started training for real, and the music kicked in. Oh man, the music. By the match at the end I was like FUCK YEAH COME ON ROCKY and all these veins were popping out of my neck. The fight was so good. But the ending was so.. it was like "Rocky wi-"BAM, END. CREDITS.

It became a drug. I had to have more. The next day I went on a rampage through the shops looking for Rocky II; running with my arms stretched out to coat hanger people, eyeballs rotating in different directions at once for maximum potential of spotting Rocky II. "ROOOOOOCCCCKKKKKKKKKYYYYY". Rocky jumped over a bloody park bench while outrunning an entire outbreak of zombie children. Rocky just got better and better. He went from shit all to holy shit, look at that place.

ROBOT MAIDS. It got to the point where Rocky was just so awesome he could punch holes in time itself and travel to the future to knock-out George Jetson and steal Rosie; his secret lover. AND SO FORTH. Not even Mr. T had a chance. By Rocky IV I was getting the shifty eyes just a tad. Did we really need a fourth one? Fuck yeah we did, he punched his way up a fucking mountain, then became king of Russia and completed Tetris by telling it shithouse jokes.

Rocky V? Stuff Rocky V. Why's he taking shit from everyone for so long. Should have thrown his kid out a window, then punched the ground under him to split it apart and cause a new continent just for his kid to be a lonely wanker on. The end was awesome; but he should have done that to Tommy Gun as soon he met him.

"Urr hurr hey Rocky, my name's Tommy Gun do you geddit lol"
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
*Punches him off the planet*

Rocky Balboa was pretty good, but Jesus he's like nine hundred years old now, he saved the world from alien dinosaurs, what more do you people want. The crowd should have thrown buckets of lava at the other guy.

In the end, Rocky sure did punched in the face a fucking lot. Every fight he ended up looking like rat shit with at least eight eyes split apart. Yet aside from Creed, his opponents never really ever looked as messed up. But Rocky still beat them. Because. Holy hell what a great bunch of movies.

Except Rocky V.

Fuck Rocky V.

Currently Playing: Super Super-coated Bagels Brawl - Stickerbrush Symphony

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[public entry #172]

May 6, 2008 - 10:39 PM
GTA 1.4
Quote:
Akai-chan says:
LOL or the time that i went drinking with a date and she got in a fist fight with someone

and when the police came i got a star so i just ditched her lol


Currently Playing: The Presidents of the USA - Sharpen up those fangs

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[public entry #171]

May 5, 2008 - 05:53 AM
Project Zero: The Card Deluxe review
Simple 2000 Honkaku Shikou Series vol. 6: The Card / Ultimate Casino



Developer: Amedio
Publisher: D3 Publisher / 505 Games(treet)

What a very large name! The 'Honk Honk Shinji Ikari Whatever' range was a failed spin-off that focused on games like chess, mahjong and all that. This was the last released in the series, future card/table games just got grouped together with the usual Simple 2000 releases. Only two of these got PAL releases, this (no way) and the chess one (Master Chess).

The instruction manual is littered with hearts and such, because apparently 'you love the casino!' and it's your dream to 'win with the big time!' Okay, that's awesome. There's sixteen games in here, all of them card based. Old Maid, Black Jack, Eye of Judgment etc. Bit of a lousy casino, where's the poker machines? The discount buffet? WHERE ARE THEY?! Each game is frown worthy in terms of presentation. The same weird out of focus waterfall background, the same supermarket toilet music.

Being a D3 game though, the main or perhaps only reason it was developed was to squint at the badly rendered women in a dark room with empty pizza boxes stacked to the ceiling. They act as the dealers... and more! As you win, you'll shove more shiny gold dubloons in your pockets. You can then buy alternative outfits for the girls, or even whole NEW girls. Then you can watch them do little dances, or limbo. True story. They all move around like robots, so it's very impressive when they actually do make it under the bar. Technology has come a loooong way! So let's bust out the crappy little capture device and meet one of the bea-



- aauuuggggggggghh!

......




..............




"HAAAPPY... AT ALL.... TIIIIIMMEEES"

Final score:

Currently Playing: Disasterpeace - Move The Wreck

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[public entry #170]

Apr 18, 2008 - 06:41 AM
Let's Leonado mini-series
So the Blacktown City Council crew rocked on up to my place this arvo, and were all like "fuuuuck". I nodded in reply, a look of deep concern on my face. Seems Blacktown is failing at attracting tourists. "Nobody wants to take in our amazing sights" one of them complained, pounding the wall with both fists, neck veins pulsing away. I showed him my thumb, which was currently pointing up. "Leave it to me, gentlemen! I'll save the day and get people to visit our little slice of shit!" We celebrated by laughing with our hands placed firmly on our hips.

So every now and then, I will show you an amazing Blacktown attraction. It's THE number.. something place to book your next holiday!

1# - Hilarious Angry Racist Bible Lady



Having entertained the locals every day for over a year now, it's time you too meet Hilarious Angry Racist Bible Lady! She delights the ears with very loud messages from The Bible. Or, at least, her version of The Bible. Did you know God hates Australian's? I'd better watch my back. And that he's also planning the destruction of America? Did you know God is a bloody terrorist? You do know!

Hilarious Angry Racist Bible Lady moves around different locations as the day goes on. Plonks down her little bag, and away she goes. I was sitting on a seat behind the safety of a flimsy railing to take this poster shot. Hilarious Angry Racist Bible Lady will get angry at you if you yell back, or laugh. But that's what makes Angry Racist Bible Lady Angry Racist Bible Lady. When she originally started early last year, the police would get her to move along. But they gave up after a few weeks, which officially made her a part of Blacktown.

Stay tuned for more Let's Leonado in the near future!

Currently Playing: Kubota Mina - Spirale

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[public entry #169]

Apr 12, 2008 - 10:02 AM
Dear Ubisoft, I have an idea for a new DS game you could make


















Currently Playing: Minus - Get Started

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[public entry #168]

Apr 12, 2008 - 12:23 AM
Pac is back!


Currently Playing: Japanglisho animewtwo muzikcu

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[public entry #167]

Apr 10, 2008 - 05:47 AM
Bread hat


BREAD HAT

Was that angle intentional, Sprout?



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[public entry #166]

Mar 20, 2008 - 08:47 PM
Dear Freelance Wolf~
Spoiler:

It's like looking at a real photo on the Super Nintendo! I don't think technology will ever get any better than this.


Wait what, where did they go? Why have they been replaced with those things from activity books that demanded you place the correct sticker here? Quite a disaster. Or maybe... g-g-g-g-g-G-GHOSTS!


Okay, right. Off to rescue Chubby. I guess.


Awesome I can SAWNIC BOOM out of my mouth. Wait why is there no path leading to the front door of that house?


And no driveway to that garage? Who built this house, some kind of buffoon? Pah, bur, hmmmppff *swirls wine all over dressing gown*


So apparently not touching that fence in the middle of the sidewalk hurt me as I jumped over. .. WHY IS THERE A FENCE IN THE MIDDL-oh my medication.


Holy shit BIN CATS are the WORST cats of them all.


"I DON'T BELIEVE IN BIN CATS"
Haha yes, now Peter Pan is all mine.


Oh my. Beethoven really should properly digest his food. That's gotta hurt.


Uh ooooooh radical skateboarding kid with the longest right arm ever is coming!


You can stun him with your attacks that bore right through him and break on through to the other side wah wah woooonaaaaooooww, like six or seven times, before he finally literally vanishes from the screen. WOOSH. Magic!


What a zany and or crazy dog, get off there before you hurt yourself on that oddly placed light.


A BONE, did I just find part of Chubby?


Surprisingly, water doesn't kill you in this game. Birds kill you, falling fruit kills you, thin air surrounding fences kills you, but water? Water is an intense power-up!


Now tiny piss ant dogs like this are NO THREAT against the mighty, wet Beethoven.


Ahahaha yeah, that's right, I just shook FIVE drops of water off myself. FUCKED YOU UP real good. Yeah, have a mixture of confusion and disgust on your face.


What the hell is this guy doing, what is wrong with this neighbourhood? ;_;


Oh right, silly me. Touching the top of that deadly Mortal Kombat style bridge stage fatality spike pit can kill you.


Success!


Sigh...


I sure do miss the Tazmanian Devil on the other side of that fence.. OH GOD WATCH OUT BEETHOVEN.


Hey look, it's that dog nobody likes. Chubby. On the roof.


Whoa whoa whoa.


Alrighty then?


Ahahahaha a pink house. That's awesome. Come on son, let's go before we catch the gay from it.


Chubby? Are you telling me you managed to climb up onto a roof, but can't get past a bloody fence? Just walk around it, the grass is right there. Chubby? CHUBBY?!


Oh well, later!


DIS BONE IS MIIAAAN.


"Nooooooo, my life savings!"


Yum, fence steak. Beethoven is a lucky dog today!


That's great. I hope whoever designed this place gets shot in the face by an anus apple or something.


Oh, wife! Thank goodness you're here. I found Chubby, but he's suffered massive brain damage. Come quick!


Wife?


.........


.. WIFE?


WIIIIIIIIIIFFEEEEEEE


Turns out I was supposed to pick Chubby up and carry the goon all the way there.


Wife, look. It's Chubby. I know you've been worried about him!


....




No.


GASP, danger straight away! An unsurpervised fire raging out of control!


I'll put it out!


Oh my God.. can you..


Ahahuauhauhauha YES.


Greatest game ever. When I first found out you can actually jump on them I like sat up and got all fucking excited. Pretty much the greatest moment of 2008 so far.


I think he's trying to eat the huge blue block here. Fence steak, apples and Chubby bones aren't enough for Beethoven.


Oh boy oh boy oh boy!


WHEEEEEE-AW HELL THERE'S A BIRD IN MY FACE!




... Chubby again?


Gotta take him back nooooow.


Oh wow. That's awesome.


Don't worry, it's harmless. We'll just jump over it. Together.


Whoops



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[public entry #165]

Mar 11, 2008 - 08:37 AM
I think my two MEGApixel camera is starting to show its 2600 style age
What do you like to do when you get home?

Spoiler:

I like to turn on the tap!


Then take dem pants off. Phew, now only people walking by the house with my open curtains as I thrust the sliding door will notice.


And I've discovered a GIGANTIC hole in the back of my boxers. OutRun passing breeze etc. Ah, now it is time for the dinnerations.


I think this was supposed to be me drinking beer, ie; product placement ie; cool MAN you drinkin' DA WHOA HARDCORE BUTTTTERR better put it out in the sun for a while DEFROST THAT TOAST LAYER BOOOYYYEEEE.


I will enjoy all of Asia tonight, at home. Did you know Asia is actually just green curry? You do now!


Because my camera is so advanced, I'll have to scan this so you can read along too. Chicken? Beef? Ummmm, what have I got in the freezer.


Snags! Sausages have got to have at least half a percent of beef or chicken in there somewhere, so I'm okay!


Haha look at this one Sam, you can have this one.


Suppose I'll need a frying pan of some sort. Have you got your notepads out? You'd better write that one down!


Vegetable oil? Nah stuff that. EXTRA virgin olive oil will do. But uh.


Oh. Who's responsible for this?!






Saaaaauuuusaaaage!!


Wow yum.

*SOME TIME GOES BY LIKE THE DAYS OF OUR THUNDER*


Yum wow.


Puttin' two aside for Sam, because~


Ahaha I think I either put too much oil in there or they were like 90% fat.


The instructions say to put Asia in with the meat and stir. I don't know if that'll work so well, but I can't break the law here, you know?


OH FUCK IT'S SPITTING EVERYWHERE.


AUUUUGH BOX OF JESUS IT BURNS SO MUCH


Seems I also need coconut milk, well yeah, I have that for once. Naturally I spilt a heap merely opening the can just a tiny bit.


huurrhuruurhahteehee SNORT.


I don't feel like going through that burning explosion again, so whatever, coconut milk can just go here. And brown sugar? What am I, Richie Rich?


Close enough.


Oh yeah, Shifty wanted me to add some gravy.


Mythbusters time. This question has plagued mankind since the age of flying cars, can you use beer instead of water to make gravy?


Weellll........ kinda! It doesn't thicken that well. I like the bit in the middle, that's art. Hang it on me walls 'ey.


Now they want rice and coriander? Why don't I just put on a skirt (again) while I'm at it!


GRAPES WILL DO. Time for consume.


Sam seems to be enjoying his sausages.


MmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM.






It's very difficult getting the camera to work while pointing directly at a light while eating and sort of fumbling for the button it seems.








SEAL OF APPROVAL


Currently Playing: Jonathan Underdown - SURV1V3

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[public entry #164]

Feb 29, 2008 - 09:38 AM
Swipe those eyeball burning red and black cards real good (hey Q~)


Currently Playing: Back-on - Butterfly

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[public entry #163]

Feb 29, 2008 - 02:16 AM
Glitch Cat


peeack asked me to do his homework of drawing a table of the seven layer OSI model or something the other night. I think we were both drunk at the time. Ham sandwich.

Currently Playing: DEVILISH - DEVILISH - DEVILISH - DEVILISH - DEIVLIDSD

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[public entry #162]

Feb 19, 2008 - 06:24 AM
So entered




Damn right I want some Pet Ve-ooooohhh my Goooooood











Currently Playing: Ootsuki Kenji & Zetsubou Shoujo Tachi - Kuusou Rumba

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[public entry #161]

Feb 16, 2008 - 04:32 AM
Urination factory 7000
NiGHTS: Journey of Fleas
A Plok! production

Developer: Sonic Team
Publisher: Sonic

If the internet's anything to go by, everyone played the original NiGHTS game. I did, you did, your pregnant next door neighbors unborn child did. We all played NiGHTS. Which is a tad perplexing, considering the official worldwide sales of the Sega Saturn sit at somewhere around zero. I hope this phenomenon one day strikes the likes of F-Zero GX and ICO, that'd be great!

Oh, but NiGHTS! Here comes the sequel, ten years later. Everyone on Earth has been waiting for this, a Christmas themed dog bone treat and not one, but TWO pinball tables could only tide us over for so long! If you've recently joined humanity from under that space rock located on the planet formally known as Pluto ie; Dogz McKenzie, here's a quick explanation of NiGHTS – you fly around, you smile.. yes, at the same time! Right, now that you're up to speed, let's go see if 'Journey of Dreams' isn't just false advertising.

Well, it starts off with two kids again. Perhaps this is a trap to make you think everything is okay, "oh! Two kids! Just like the first game, that had two kids! Sonic Team remembers! I can put my feet up and relax while giving out my credit card number to strangers". But watch out! William and Helen are about, and they just so happen to be our new er, heroes? One plays soccer all day, only to go to bed with his soccer ball, and dream about more soccer. The other spends her time alternating between the violin and running into the city to look at shop windows. I can relate to that.

Obviously both kids are on the verge of a mental breakdown, as their exciting dreams quickly twist into nightmares. Next thing you know the loading screen appears and you're dumped into the world of dreams, the Night Dimension, the something or other. See, the first NiGHTS game pretty much left it at that, but now we have a proper story and everything for whatever reason. NiGHTS has been given a voice of a burly British nanny wrapped in a blender to keep the gender a mystery, plus there's an owl that never shuts up. Practically every dialogue box that results from him opening his beak is accompanied by a "Visitor!" voice sample. Owl (yes, that's his name, creativity at its finest) truly is this generations very own Navi.



After Owl demands you to touch NiGHTS to 'dualize' (who gives off a suitably creepy smile in the process), you do a bit of basic flying about. Thankfully the game offers a variety of different control methods, I recommend staying away from using the actual Wii controller, pointing it to guide NiGHTS around is akin to driving a car with a flaccid penis at the wheel. So do yourself a favor and just use the nunchuck, or shove in a GameCube/Classic Controller. Now enter that door to Nightopia and away we gooooooo!

Tooo the next paragraaaaph! Okay, so you fly around. To the left or right. Sometimes even other directions, it's a complex mystery. The game features 3D environments, but you're restricted to 2D movement of sorts. Unless of course, you refuse to 'free' NiGHTS at the beginning of the stage (which is kind of recommended) and simply stroll around in glorious freedom as the kid. You can run, you can jump, you can throw stuff at enemies, intense. Eventually you'll waste all your precious beauty sleep and little alarm clocks will appear everywhere, latching onto you, until you die a horrible death. Or wake up. Either way, the game ends, so yeah, go free NiGHTS. The goal of these main stages is to essentially catch a bird, kill it and collect a key. Three times. What? Damn right. Collect blue orbs, fly through rings, try and catch the bird. That's NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, see you next ti-oh wait!


Tee hee this isn't even gameplay

Along with painfully awkward, unskippable cutscenes that deliver a story nobody wants, the sequel also introduces the deadly 'Sonic Adventure-itis' syndrome. Added side-missions, compulsory ones, that fumble around at delivering horrendous variety to the gameplay. Every world has five missions, the first being the proper fly-around-and-smile levels, the last is a boss fight, and the rest consist of nightmares, mostly. Rubbish such as NiGHTS turning into a bloody BOAT (why?) and saving mutant babies from drowning (why?!), or having a contest with Owl to see who can make the biggest blob of sticky water that floats in the sky. That's the stuff of dreams right there. They're terrible additions, and may even cause your bowels to cramp up in frustration. This will certainly be helped by the dreadful boss fights. They were a pain in the original, they're worse here. Who thought tilting a board to roll cats down holes would make for a good boss? Well actually, it could have been the best boss fight ever, but not here. No sir. But try not to let these drag you down too much, because the 'steak' part of this steak and brussel sprout meal is quite delicious.

The Saturn NiGHTS was pure arcade high score rampage bliss, allowing you to chain together your loops, spins, the rings you flew through and God knows what for big, dumb fun. The sequel is a worthy follow-up in this regard, although it's curiously lacking the special 'whatever fun bonus wow zoom' the original had that rewarded your combo stunts for a short amount of time. I sure hope that sentence can be linked together for points. Plus the levels themselves are an absolute joy to lose yourself in. Beautifully constructed, rich with detail and colour, they feel alive in a dead video game kind of way. You'll zip past fields littered with flowers and oddly placed windmills, giant neon cities featuring a very Sonic 2-ish slot machine sequence, crystal castles… there's not a single rundown warehouse or dripping sewer in sight! This all comes at a knee deep in maple syrup price though, the frame rate is quite low. Though if it helps, it's at a steady kind of low, there's no dropping to the level of a Powerpoint presentation. But maybe that would have been more amusing. The loading times are also atrocious. I thought I'd whack that in there, because I just remembered. Don't be surprised if a sentence about the location of my swipe card also ends up in here somewhere.



The music was another talking point of the original, and rightly so. Did you hear about the catchy tunes? They were great. I've also heard that Bort from accounting is dating Gertrude, oh ho, pass it on. Journey of Dreams offers another mixed bag here, while the quality and quantity is pretty mind boggling, a lot of the songs don't seem to actually go anywhere. The best tunes are arguably the new takes on the old ones. Although Delight City and Crystal Castle certainly got jammed in my head for a while. The music that plays in the hub/CHOOSE YA FLAMIN' LEVEL is also quite addictive.

Ah, there's also a rather pointless 'My Dream' mode crammed in here. When you brutally murder enemies in the game via doing gentle, playful loops around them, they're sent to your dream. Uh, I mean My Dream. What? Jesus. This is a free roaming little block of land that floats around, populated by the enemies and other freaks you've captured. Like a museum, except even more boring. It can connect to the Wii's weather channel if you like, so it'll rain in your dream as well as reality. That's depressing, Sega. They even give you the option of having other people come visit your disaster area online. The two of you can run around it and synchronize your yawns! Or perhaps you'd rather race each other in the levels? You can do that too.

I've carefully failed to explain NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, so my review is complete. I'm not going to demand you play it, that's stupid, and I lack a whip. But I sure had a fair bit of fun with it. There are moments in the game that'll probably stick with me for ten thousand years, too. Just like how whenever I close my eyes I see death from Shadowgate standing there because I decided to break a mirror which sent me hurling into space. Luckily once you've dragged yourself through the story mess, you can replay the levels without any drama getting in the way. Ignore the filler, and maybe you'll enjoy it too! It's just a damn shame it's there to begin with.



Final score:

Currently Playing: Masafumi Takada - N.M.H (Action Mix)

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[public entry #160]

Feb 15, 2008 - 06:08 PM
gggggggggggggggg












Currently Playing: mAZE - Fading Colours

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[public entry #159]

Jan 7, 2008 - 05:02 AM
JELLY TURTLE PEANUT.. BUTTER... WAIT, SHIT



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[public entry #158]

Jan 5, 2008 - 09:40 AM
Secret
Two Phoenix Games' games I never bothered to upload to YouTube. Mighty Mulan and Herculekeses has Cancer. They weren't amusing enough. Don't tell anyone okay. Tell them 'not okay'. Okay.




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[public entry #157]

Dec 28, 2007 - 04:35 AM
The elephants in Dhalsim's stage sound like vacuum cleaners


I saw this yesterday and thought, man, with hands like that, this person should be giving OTHER people raises.



Currently Playing: Keiichi Sugiyama - Snow Girl

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[public entry #156]

Dec 27, 2007 - 09:38 AM
Qwarky is a madman

"Hey hey Wildcats!"


BOX OF TREASURE <3 Oh my pantaloons!

I've been playing Eye-Toy Lemmings a lot!


YES YES CROSS MY HAND BRIDGE INTO CACTUS LAND AHAUHUAHUHAUHWUHAUHWA!

I also got a package from Akai the same day! Greatest Boxing day ever! Lots of anime (because broadband here isn't hardcore enough actually right now I'm at speeds worse than a 56k modem) and


~

I guess since this is some kind of massive jpeg entry, here are some jpegs of the dog keeping the threat of next doors stinky stink face cat at bay. Up a tree. That's an odd place for a bay.


The fence is RIGHT THERE, it could have jumped back over to its side and phew safe.


But no.


They were both out there for quite some time! I think the cat fell asleep up there.

Christmas day was a complete non-event. We didn't even have a family get together or anything this year, usually there's a half-arsed type thing at the very least. Mum made all these disgusted faces at one of the presents I got her, wow thanks. At least pretend. Gift card (at a shop you'll never visit) for you next year. =D I still kept my Christmas cheer tradition of getting as drunk as fast as possible in the day though! Ah, port for breakfast. Wait, I think I've run out of jpegs! I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas GFF!

Currently Playing: Sabrepulse - Phantom

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[public entry #155]

Nov 27, 2007 - 05:39 AM
Tsk
I guess my wrist is a bit worse off than originally thought. It's been three weeks now and it's gotten crappier. Maybe I shouldn't have tried lifting that semi-trailer. Have to go get a Cortisone injection on Friday. And here I was thinking it was spelt Quarterzone (like a football being injected, that'd be rad), thanks GOGGLE. You do something!

Currently Playing: Konami Kukeiha Club - Vampire Killer

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[public entry #154]

Nov 25, 2007 - 05:57 AM
Where have I seen this before




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA




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[public entry #153]

Nov 12, 2007 - 08:10 PM
Lord of the Swaugh
Spoiler:
I haven't done one of these in TEN BILLION YEARS. =o


Is that a sunset or the worlds biggest superball trying to bounce its way out of lava? Let's skip the single screens of storyline text!


Harfoot sounds like a pretty funny place to walk around. Maybe the ground is made of feathers!


Wow an open door!


"REST HERE... I'LL PRAY FOR IT" "But I only just started" "SSSH, SSH, YOUR PANTS MUST BE MAKING YOU TIRED"


Hey awesome. He uh.. doesn't bother to attack! Don't worry, the Lord of the Sword will take you down!


.. With my bow.


Yes, take that, foul beast. FEEL THE STING.


Out of nowhere (really), this guy appears. Screenshots can't do him justice as he vanishes randomly and reappears out of the sky! ;_;


Augh!


AUUUGH!


New area-JESUS CHRIST.


Maybe if I just play dead (and select 'continue' from the title screen) it'll go away.


"EYE SAW EVERYTHING.. HAHA DO YOU GET IT.. I'M A LARGE EYE"


"SHUT THE HELL UP, IT'S NOT FUNNY"
"No not my pupil! You're the REAL monster here, Lord of the Sword!"


Phew, another village! Now I really could use a place to rest.


Maybe this kind stranger will take me in.


What the hell, old man! What if I was this guys long lost son or something, "I'm finally home!" "CAST THIS BOOK IN THE MOUTAINS AND RETURN" "But dad!" "I'LL ADD ANOTHER FUCKING SKULL TO MY SHELF IF YOU DON'T.."


Nowhere else to go but up, up these incredibly pathetic looking stairs. Seems like Sega just added these at the last second. ;_;


FEEL THE STING!


Well now, this certainly seems like I'm near some mountains. There's even some new enemies!


Like this.. thing.. is it a clown?!


Wait, how can I end up here? Why does one section lead into a completely different one? "Hey guys, can you give me some directions here?"


"NO!"


The Lord of the Sword has no time for drowning. No amount of water is too deep, extendo legs go!


Ugh, another village.


Wait wait, isn't this the same guy as before? You can't fool me by dying your hair black! Don't expect EMOTIONS from me, creep!


Up MORE awkward stairs.


WHY.. I just went up stairs leading to the left, now I'm walking right? Viiiideeeoo gaaaaame!


"Wanna buy an axe?"
"Naw"


"Come on it's pretty cool, come on"
"GET AWAY FROM ME"


..


THERE'S NOTHING HERE. AT ALL. *Ten minutes of backtracking later*


Hurray, this is an awful lot like the very first area.. level.. thingy.


Oh my goodness.


Seems the giant crack in the background cut one of them in half!


GASPO! This is a new exciting area for sure!


"Must... complete.. bridge.. with... entire.. body! It's safe to walk across now giant Kermit the Frog!"


Luckily Lord of the Sword can walk on this water too. What a hero!


Oh it's this guy again! Wow thanks for the confidence boost, 'ya dick.


Am I near the bloody moutain yet?


Now I think I'm in the mouth of something.


NO! RAINBOW ZOMBIES!


Gotta take the worlds biggest shit. Uuuuhh oooohh.. Lord of the Sword died seconds later.


Currently Playing: Hayley Westenra - Prayer

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[public entry #152]

Nov 10, 2007 - 11:03 PM
Running into bushes only makes him stumble
Space Harrier!



Currently Playing: Oh ho now I have to wear a wrist brace for 2 weeks, POWER GLOVE GET!

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[public entry #151]

Nov 10, 2007 - 04:30 AM
asafhju78 SEVENYrEUGHT


Here are two (THREE) Master System games, grabbed with great care from the Infernal Museum of Fantastic Clutter. Out of the fucking way, Mona Lisa wholegrain bread! Aside from having extreme minimal 80's effort put into the front (later releases in the futuristic 90's actually had proper full blown covers like KLAX because it was the 90's and there was certainly time for Klax to look beautiful), Master System games didn't need to piss fart around with detailed descriptions on the back. Where NES games often needed the whole box to cough text onto about how the struggle for lasers is on in a puzzle game, here..





RIGHT TO THE POINT. Turn BACK the invaders, it's not a cry for help, it's a God damn order. A DAMNED GOD WANTS TO GO BACK IN TIME WITH THE HELP OF INVADERS. But what has happened, what what what well well well. Sure we've shifted from 2D to XD (lolzroflymydragon), but have you seen some of the game descriptions lately?



THE HELL IS THIS. It's like an ENTIRE LIBRARY OF YAWN crammed on here, and what for? GOD HAND. GOD HAND DOESN'T NEED THIS ARMY OF BOREDOM. "Punch your opponent into orbit" is on there, and that's all it needs. Let's something!



YES IN THE SCANNER WITH YOU.



I did this a while ago with Castlevania on DS, but not an actual printed version. So so sad. ADDED AN S TO OPPONENT JUST NOTICED. Wow. Wow. Ginger chicken my arse, it was like $16 for a lump of boiled chicken and some fucking water sauce. I'm going to Master System all my boxes. For everything. And my wrist watch. And. brb k ^_______________^6^^^

Currently Playing: Sum 41 - Underclass Hero

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[public entry #150]

Nov 9, 2007 - 12:09 AM
Welcome to your doom
Ecco the Dolphin!



Currently Playing: It turns out I only have a bruised tendon or something, pansy injury

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[public entry #149]

Nov 8, 2007 - 02:13 AM
Whip everyone with a slow moving giant lizard tail
Golden Axe!



Currently Playing: I had to get an ultrasound done on my wrist because it's having a baby

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[public entry #148]

Nov 7, 2007 - 07:12 AM
WonWonWonder
Well it's been 'a few days'. I'm still not going to be around that much. This calls for a Sega Master System gurnal theme week starting on a Wednesday because. Each day I'll try and get a comic together.. or.. something.. Master System related and it'll be awesome because.. um. Except maybe next Tuesday. Wisdom teeth are finally coming out, $3,900!~ Wonderboy!






Legends 1: Teddy Boy
Legends 2: Alex Kidd

Currently Playing: Does anyone have that EWJ Anthology album? That'd be so awesome <3

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[public entry #147]

Oct 28, 2007 - 03:02 AM
Psygnosis Amiga box art appreciation thre-entry.
I miss when box art was actually good. Now it's all just roll eyes ugly 3D models standing around picking their arses with horse shoes and you're like fuck I don't know if I want to buy this game but IGN sez it has three hundred hours worth of polygon boobs and movie clips where bald men grapple eachother and kung fu kick bullets at water towers and it's also online with content to download that should have been included in the first place like a title screen and if you pre-order the special bonus deluxe hamburger pack for only an extra eighty dollars or so it'll come with a tin case and a melted box of Mars Bars. GOTY for sure but ugly 3D models ew fuck you 'Beyond 2000', you promised me robots that'd push me on swings by now. It's 2007 WHERE ARE THEY.


















Anyway, I'm off for a few days, but it would have been boring just having an entry with that!

Currently Playing: Clannad thingy - DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO

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[public entry #146]

Oct 23, 2007 - 10:53 AM
ddfuhnmbv
Quote:
Chris says:
why would pokemon link up to metroid
Roland says:
im kidding faggot!
Infernal Monkey says:
"Roland says:
im kidding faggot!"

this gives me an idea!










STICK FIGURES SAVE TIME

Currently Playing: Cauterize - Tremble

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[public entry #145]

Oct 22, 2007 - 07:41 AM
If you need me, I'll be in the



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[public entry #144]

Oct 18, 2007 - 07:06 AM
Once, there was a metaphor
Response to: Once, there was a group of rich kids. by Bigblah

Oh wait no it was just a meteor.



Currently Playing: Rayza - Top Gear 2 Rolling Start


Response entries:
Once, there was an image macro by wvlfpvp

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[public entry #143]

Oct 7, 2007 - 12:16 AM
Hay peeack
lolol it'll never get old.

YouTube Video

*CRUSH*
"MMM HHMM MM HMMMM MM"

"WRONG, THIS IS NOT A BRUTALITY, THIS IS A FATALITY"
"WHERE'SALLTHECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE"


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Oct 5, 2007 - 10:53 AM
Remaaauuuughke?
2002



200X




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[public entry #141]

Oct 4, 2007 - 09:06 PM
Request some top quality NES games guys!
I'll ruin them for you. I've found something to do with my YouTubGirl account again!

YouTube Video

Requested by Elixir~
YouTube Video

Requested by Dpkill~
YouTube Video

Requested by Acer~
YouTube Video



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Oct 3, 2007 - 10:19 AM
PAL market strikes again


I am going to buy eight copies.

Quote:
Akai says:
AUGH CLASS IS SO BORING
Infernal Monkey says:
maybe this new scan of king story will help!
http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/4...80frontbt2.jpg
Akai says:
YOU ASS
Quote:
Infernal Monkey says:
holy shit, check this out
http://image.com.com/gamespot/images...3180_front.jpg
Akai says:
FERNY YOU FUCKER
I need two more for a Connect Four.






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Sep 28, 2007 - 06:58 AM
Complete
Just installed the only background/theme I'll ever need on the PSP.




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Sep 27, 2007 - 11:00 PM
Stafy is helpful


Currently Playing: Roostex - Riddle Me A Rat's Nest

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Sep 27, 2007 - 02:55 AM
PSP is a dinosaur
Last week Kilroy sent me fancy review thinga-ma-jig copies of LocoRoco and Ace Combat X, because Kilroy is awesome! Also, a DINOSAUR! I was planning on getting a PSP last week (Slim launch and all), but the silver version didn't make it, stores kept telling me buh fuh guh it'd be out in a few days, but it doesn't even have a release date anymore. So I figured I'd just go get the black one. Glad I held on for that extra week, because Big W (Bog W) had the system for $30 off. Being the crafty consumer whore, I spent that saved $30 on a copy of Tales of Eggs.



No dead pixels! Oh God my vagina was bleeding all the way home about that. I've had so much drama with the DS over dead pixels, but PHEW SAFE FOREVER. Except I forgot to buy a screen protector. Or even a case. I did remember the memory stick thing though. Finger prints EVERYWHERE. Bit crap that you need a HDTV for the TV-output thing to work for games. My no-name SDTV will have a cry!

LocoRoco is amazing! It makes me smile until my face has to expand to match the length of the smile. So much so that I still haven't popped Ace Combat in, or Eggs. Or.. any of the other handful of PSP games I bought months and months ago. Oh wait I tried Taito Legends.





Haha! Quality screens. Well that's my major gaming purchase for the year, SEE YOU NEXT YEAR! Now focusing on the USA trip~ (PIETRIOT BLUDGE-FEST '08)

Currently Playing: Atari Lynx

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Sep 19, 2007 - 01:53 AM
I'll get a mop
I picked this up at the Salvation Army. TEN PINS. Ten. It's the best book ever.


But I can only see five pins here.


I don't know!


Looks like most of them are taking off into orbit rather than falling over.


Tsk, what a loser.


I'LL GET A MOP


A tricky test ends this emotional rollercoaster! I'm stuck on the last question though, was it really the mop, or was it that he has TEN BALLS?

Let's sequel!



Currently Playing: FFmusic DJ - Ahead On Our Rave (On Our Way)

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Sep 13, 2007 - 09:00 AM
Modem constipation alert
Second episode of Let's History is cancelled tonight, in its timeslot we have a new show.



I went into the city for a job interview today, an hour of trying to figure out what kind of smell was coming from the person sitting next to me on the train. It was like Guess Who, but Guess Smell. Does your smell wear glasses? What? But haha! They didn't tell me that the job in question would only last for four days. WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER, YOU'RE SO HORRIBLE. The place was near the Royal Bioshock Gardens though, and the last time I went there was some crappy high school excursion to the art gallery next to it.


Walk on the grass, does this mean I can't walk on the path? Just the grass?


But this is difficult!


Here we are, there's some things! The Bioshock garden is HUGE. It seriously goes on forever, for all eternity. Just when you think you've escaped, no. My camera cannot capture this large amount of size.


This is from where we were just looking at, but LOOKING THE OTHER WAY. Complex! Let me tell you a stor-


WHOA, MUSHROOMS.


Now I have delicious style.


Another JPEG.


Let's go down here, where everything gets all blurry.


SEX + DEATH? What the fuck.


Oooooh.. what the fuck?


You can go for mini-bushwalks all through the place, you can't read the sign here because the angry sun is swooping, but it basically explains that you'll see some of Australia's exclusive flowers in action.


Like this. Then you continue on and reach deadly deadly man made walking contraptions again. But I felt like just making my own way through somewhere.


Oh ho ho, took off its bark all over the ground, this tree is ready for action! Then you keep goin-


NO!


Comment.




Yeah.. that.. that sure is beautiful alright. TETSUOOOOOOOOO.


Now we've reached something else!


But those all sound like good reasons to feed them to me.


JESUS CHRIST


There's a small amount of water in the way, but the Bioshock garden also continues over there. I couldn't be arsed going that way!


Round here, to pointy house for singing about pies (trucks of them).


Drag racing trains are very fast, you either get the hell off the path or *SOUND EFFECT*


Ooooh my feet are sore.


No black people on bikes allowed at the Opera House, sorry.


UUUUUUUURRRRR UUUUUUUUUUHHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRB. Let's climb!


I'm the first person to have climbed this mountain.


Wow that wasn't worth it at all, what a shit box.


Aww.


See? Now you don't ever need to come to Sydney, I've spoiled it all for you. LEFT C RIGHT C UP C DOWN C.


APEC fences.

I have some more photos but

and

Bye!

Currently Playing: Bomb Factory - Exciter

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Sep 7, 2007 - 02:25 AM
"I like your old stuff better than your new stuff"
IT'S 2005!


















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Sep 4, 2007 - 07:32 AM
laugho, APEC
[ A.A.A ]





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Sep 1, 2007 - 10:11 AM
vhnvnv
So I've reached the magical one thousand mark in my box art folder, and I suddenly realized I'm not saving these to my hard drive for any real reason other than to lag the hell out of my 286 when I browse the folder with little thumbnails. There's so much roll eyes worthy potential to be had!













Stay tuned for the other 998!

Currently Playing: Diseased Project - Paperboy Gone Postal

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Aug 16, 2007 - 12:48 AM
Gooooaaaal
I mentioned earlier that I'd take photos of this weird soccer thing if I could get it going, but here's a moving picture instead. I had to use a DRILL to get the battery compartment open because the batteries that were in there had corroded and stuff. Also required some Mr. Sandpaper to get it working! I am such a tool man. Only takes four batteries, I was honestly expecting it to need about thirty. Million.

YouTube Video


Currently Playing: Super Stardust HD - Planet Segomo

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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:20 AM
Why I almost turned into a bobo
Response to: Why I'm not turning into a bobo. by Miles



Currently Playing: Masafumi Takada - Rave On

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[public entry #129]

Aug 9, 2007 - 01:00 AM
So it seems FIFA 08 has the best box art ever








Currently Playing: Cauterize - Wake To The Sun

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Jul 26, 2007 - 05:20 AM
Who wants eggs?
I don't. About a week or so ago I caught the end of some advert for Continental proclaiming 'if you don't finish your meal we'll give you your money back!' or something. This then trapped itself IN MY HEAD. I couldn't Boulderdash it out. It's such a powerful promise! Days (days!) later I finally got to watch the full thing (then found out it was on their site anyway). If you buy a 'Family Favorites' Recipe Base (basically just flavouring), create a stunning eight and a quarter star meal and don't manage to clean your plate, they'll refund the whopping one dollar these things cost. You could perhaps jam your foot up their arse and/or door and show them an average plate after any meal, as nobody ever cleans their plate. There's always streaks of something, or maybe a single pea! Unless you are in fact some kind of walking, talking dish washing garbage bin face!



Okay so it's 'family'. But one person can be a family, right? If not I'll sue them for being racist.


I was washing up last nights plates when ACTION NOISES, a Family Favorites Recipe Base floats up! I really wanted a beef one, but Woolworths FAILED ME again like the big consumer whore FAILURE location they are. So I picked out a tuna one. Creamy Tuna Mornay, oh my. Sounds good. For breakfast.


How unfortunate, Mild Indian Curry flavour tuna... why does this EVEN EXIST?


The packet also demanded corn, so I got some damn corn alright. Fun fact, I hate corn! Super sweet corn suits a super sweet girl like me. *BLUSH* Oh you.


Also a cup of milk! But milk is boring by itself!


So I will add some horrible non-blending chocolate powder. BUT BUT now the packet wants pasta! I didn't think this one through, which is so shocking and unlike me.


WHAT WILL I DO?!


FUCKING NOODLES. Also I guess I peeled off a layer of skin. Let's create taste!


Wow.


WOW.


THE PEELING OPENING BIT THING IS ON THE WRONG END. Sloppy production, India. Maybe I will give you a call to complain.


Noooo so horrible!





Might as well use the chicken death salt that came with the noodles.


And finally, the milk. Now it's gotta cook for fifteen minutes, with stirring every now and then.


I've got some time to go on da computah and create something new and exciting in MS Paint.


Yes, good, good. But I began to smell something more unusual than I was expecting! So I strolled back into the kitch-


Whoops. Forgot that I'd put the hotplate on full bore to get things going.


HMMMM.








Sure I've ruined a pot, but my meal is complete in less than five minutes! A pretty flower plate.


BOTCHED OPERATION.


Yeah this looks pretty good. Best breakfast ever?




IT ACTUALLY IS OKAY. The chocolate barged its way through everything, it's nearly the only thing you can taste!


THIS WILL NOT DO.


Time to eat my dog. It's beef, my dog is actually a cow. So that's automatically better than tuna. Unless the tuna is BEEF FLAVOURED which is what I'm hoping will happen for a victory lap.


Super shiny!


Impressive.


But it seems too dry. This is supposed to be a 'creamy' tuna! The closest thing I had was, uh..


Apparently it expired early last week, but it's dip. That stuff lasts forever. GHERKIN dip especially. That and twinkies are all the world's going to be left with when it eventually explodes due to skateboarding punks. You'll have to eat them together.


Slooooowly.....


There we go. Fuckin' stunk something shocking.






Yum.


I couldn't clean my plate.

So tomorrow I'm sending them a letter, my receipt, a photo of my unfinished meal fit for a king and the original packaging (not in this pic because I forgot lolol). Lucky their address is listed on the bottom of the website!





I'll keep you updated!



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Jul 21, 2007 - 06:59 AM
Quotes


THAT CRAZY BENDER AND HIS FAMOUS CATCH PHRASE!


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Jul 14, 2007 - 09:46 AM
OMGOMG

WHO IS THAT IN THE DISTANCE.. COULD IT BE.. YES!


IT'S PIKACHU AGAIN, SAY YOUR CLASSIC CATCH PHRASE FOR ME!


"GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU SMELLY FAGS"


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Jul 12, 2007 - 08:59 AM
Pokemoan
This morning was GET UP AND OUT OF THE HOUSE AT TEN TO SIX morning. I was off to meet the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Aus. Wait no. Hurstville. See here, look, an image on the internet.


BUT INFERNAL, THAT'S ONLY LIKE THREE STOPS. No! Zoom!

Because well, Pokemon. I dunno, you might remember when I did a gurn about the Marieo Cart event like two years ago or something, this time it's POKEMON. They're going around the country looking for Pokemon Diamond/Pearl mastaaaahs. When the train rocked up, there were still seats avaliable, and I had four erections at once because of that. A chance to SIT DOWN on a SEAT in a TRAIN during the early hours of the MORNING when everyone is TRAIN CRAZY and CAPS LOCK, that's the rarest Pokemon of them all. After changing at Redfern, land of "give us a dollar ya cuuuuuunt", I noticed the train was empty.


VERY EMPTY.


I was concerned about this ghost train. Then I remembered nobody goes to Hurstville, and only Nintendo is stupid enough to think people do. It's like the WORST POSSIBLE LOCATION. Should have just held it at Redfern. Give us a Pokemon ya cuuuunt.

I was meeting up with Grubdog and Hybrid Hunter, because they were entering the challenge thingy. Not me, I was just goin' because! I haven't kept up with Pokemon, I mean, I have Diamond, but after two weeks I've only just gotten the bike. The last Pokemon RPG game I played was Blue, ten years ago. That's not going to get me far since there's roughly nine hundred gabillzillion Pokemon I've never heard of!


Before the chaos. I like how they had demo units of Pokemon at an event meant for people who are hardcore at Pokemon.


And uh, you can sorta see the Wii area. That garage door on the left?


It EVOLVED into this useless little stall. And they were FUCKED, because the entry waiting line was right next to them. A wall of people blocking sales of precious fine goods, ahuahwhauahwhauhaw.


LARGE DS. The top screen was used to display one of the battles going on. See like four people battled at a time up the front. One of the stations was linked up to the TV so everyone could see and laugh/cheer/cringe or yell "HAXXXX" whenever someone attacked with a powerful move. "OHMYGODYOUCAN'TDOTHATWITHALEVELWHATEVERPOKEMONNOT UNLESSYOUDOTHETHINGSANDTHEUUUUGGGH" one group of nerds screamed. Oh and the bottom screen just played adverts for Wii/DS games all day. So Grubby and Hybrid arrived shortly after, filled in their forms, the area opened up like a Transformer transforming from a closed robot into an open robot.


And this is what it was pretty much like the whole day. Even more packed when the trivia bits were going on (because that's when they handed out free stuff). I'm really no good at this Pokemon business, so I can't explain attacks or whatever was really going on other than fancy effects on screen. But some of the matches were fun to watch, especially with the crowd really going bezerk. WHOA DID YOU SEE THAT? HE JUST CHUCKED A LIGHTNING BOLT AND THEN SOME HAIL AND OOOOOOAAAAAAAAH I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!


Hybrid preparing for BATTLE. He always made the best expressions when I pointed the camera at him. <3


Grubby IN BATTLE. I'm using BATTTTTLLLLEEEEE a lot!

We had to fill in exciting time while waiting for the next round to start, so this called for food. I got a 'five dollar feed' which included a cheeseburger that looked very dull.


So I modified it a bit with some chips and blobs of chocolate sundae.


DELICIOU-AUUUGH THE FLASH!


OMG HELLO PIKACHU ^_^


SO KAWAII LOLOL! ^_^~


Grubby and Hybrid again BATTLING SOME GOONS. Grubby lost to that dude in blue with the stupid beanie thing. He seemed pretty hardcore. Hybrid made it through to the next round. =o


Character cosplay time. Yeah yeah fuck you this is a worthless angle but I wasn't going to fight the crowd to move around. Wait what, only ONE PERSON actually dressed up as a Pokemon character. The little girl there, she was supposed to be part of Team Rocket. She even had the 'R' on her shirt and everything. The rest of the wankers standing up there were just wearing their normal clothes "oh uh, I've dressed up as uh... a Pokemon trainer!" One guy was wearing a NES controller as a belt buckle and expected everyone to cheer for him for some reason.


This dickhead brought along a bloody CASE full of his Pokemon cards to battle people over at the dedicated table which everyone stayed the fuck away from, including event staff.


WE COLOURED IN POKEMON. =)

Time to waste more time! Time time time. So we walked around some of the stores, Hurstville's Westfield is quite a depressing place really. Especially the EB, it was like a cave of stink and horror. The toy section of Myer was pretty lol though.


DONKEY IS HUNGRY.


SOME BATTLES LATER, Hybrid made it to the top eight! That means he won an awesome prize pack thing no matter what, which is good because he lost the semi-final. :] The ultimate winner dude got an insane amount of loot, like four big bags of stuff. "Four big bags of trash!"

The trivia parts were pretty dull, it was all Pokemon questions. Such an odd thing, having Pokemon questions at a Pokemon event. So I couldn't answer anything, if I had my way, 'Professor Oak' would be the answer to everything. Grubby scored himself a copy of Final Fantasy 3, which is kinda more of a joke prize than anything. Tee hee! HOWEVER, when they went to give away Bust-a-Move on the Wii, they asked for someone to come up on stage and dance. Because that's how dedicated Nintendo Australia are to games. They assumed Bust-a-Move was a video game about dancing. Sadly they later just picked some girl that was standing around in the crowd to get the game. But this dude in the white shirt, he wanted that prize SO MUCH. He just kept swingin' his arms around like Donkey Kong!

YouTube Video
TURN YOUR VOLUME DOWN. Shit camera + people screaming and yelling = aw hell naw.

I got to try out Mario Strikers and Mario Party, both fun. Wanted to shove my way into the 'Touch Generation' area to try out More Brain Training but noooo, that's where the parents sat around and complained all day. I GOT A POKEMON KEYCHAIN.

Currently Playing: dj TAKA - Absolute 2007

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Jul 8, 2007 - 07:25 AM
Abobo is a victim of bullying

Hey Shuko!


Whoa nice car!


You think maybe I can have a drive?


What? No! You'll never fit in there.


Because you're very LARGE.









Currently Playing: Twisted Sister - We're not gonna take it

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Jun 29, 2007 - 09:15 PM
This is how I remember Snake Rattle 'N' Roll
Response to: Stealing from Midna by nitsu



Pretty certain this was in level 3.



Response entries:
Snake Rattle N' Roll by nitsu

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Jun 14, 2007 - 08:25 AM
Fridge launched













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Jun 14, 2007 - 07:22 AM
You'll never guess what happened today


Hey guys.. wait WTF



Phew, thanks Jelly Turtle!


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[public entry #120]

Jun 10, 2007 - 03:29 AM
What's hot and what's not?
According to this weeks Sunday paper?



Hmm, good, good. I'll make note of this advice. Adding packets of retarded fizzy sugar to Corn Flakes, making them G8 Flakes, is hot. Also sleeping is not a hot thing to do in the dark, you must tell ghost stories. BLACK NAILS. JUST LIKE FALL OUT BOY! That is so hot!

I like how there's poo next to the smells bit. I know I hate when I'm walking down the street and all these people leap out of the bushes and blame me for the smells located in their toilets. And you think the likes of Garfield and Cathy are bad? We have to put up with comics such as these in the paper.


IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S A CHIP SANDWICH! HAHA! KNOB!


OH GINGER MEGGS!



Stay tuned for next weeks top hot or not. Don't worry Gamingforce, I'll keep you hot.

Currently Playing: The Bravery - An Honest Mistake

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Jun 9, 2007 - 07:25 AM
Whatever you say, man




...





Currently Playing: Isoe Toshimichi - Every Day

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May 30, 2007 - 12:05 AM
Pokumoooaaaawn get
YouTube Video

I didn't really know where I was going with this other than to break a cartridge. :]
Spoiler:
It's Kilroy!



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May 27, 2007 - 04:29 AM
hghg (hach gee)

















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May 13, 2007 - 11:42 PM
Oh no 2002
2002! That's when I joined this forum made of stink lines and bin lids. Seeing Garr make a gurnal entry reminded me of these disasters. When I joined, there was a 'draw a GFF memberwowow!' thread going on, so I jumped in with my extremely limited knowledge of anybody on the forum, and no idea how to use MS Paint (I guess I didn't even know how to zoom in which would be why the images are so bloody huge). Also JPEG'd.


Garr. I think Garr got his left hand caught in a blender!


Sass. LOLSKINNYLOL. Also apparently Sass liked Cowboy Bebob.


galen. Ummmm. ;_;


bobo. Wow he wasn't even around much back then!


Trance Assassin. That dude vanished forever. Maybe he listened to too much Strange Goth Stuff.


NO IDEA who this was meant to be. Mustard on chips? 'Intellvison'. What what.

It's pretty neat how my MS Paint skills have improved over the years. This was all I could do then! Now if I were to remake say, the Sass one..


MY GOODNESS.

Currently Playing: Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy.nsf

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May 11, 2007 - 01:19 AM
Big Ben is big
I got up this morning, out of bed. Because I usually sleep in a bed, which requires getting out of in the up kinda way. You can just roll out, but you fall on the floor. I felt like breakfast. None of this pansy milk and 12 types of processed weat though. I felt like a PIE. But you can't have pies for breakfast it's against the law, so I went and had a cold shower. Sadly my pie lust did not get washed away! Too lazy to go down the road and get a freshly killed and roasted pie, I had to settle for the frozen kind.


BIG BEN'S EXTRA TASTY PIES. But hang on, wait a second Big Ben.


Because there's also your traditional pies! I cooked one of your traditional pies, Big Ben.


It was pretty happenin' yo. "GIVE ME THE PIE"


How can they possibly improve upon the traditional pie? How is it EXTRA TASTY? I think we'll need to put this claim to the test.


Well it's still a square shaped pie. That's not an improvement at all, Big Ben! Your traditional pie was square and that was retarded! Pies are ROUND. A square pie looks about as terrible as


Marge Simpson. But still, it only claims it TASTES better so hey.


PUT THE OVEN ON FULL BORE COME AWWWWN. Gotta play the waiting game now. If only I had discovered the pack of extra tasty pies earlier I could have done both at the same time via magic.


I'll pass the time by playing my THRILLER GAME.


Yes, good, good. Nintendo better watch the fuck out, Yogarilla's in town.


HEEEEEY GUUUUUYS. WOW virtual reality is here!


HEEEEEY DOOOOOOG.


NO STOP WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO!


And off he goes. Where are you headed Yogarilla Kong?


Oh no, no! Not Marge Simpson! Not her hat!


YOUR HAT IS NEXT.


Oh good my pie is done. You've always gotten open 'em up just a bit to see if it's hot inside, because pies can trick you sometimes.


"HAR HAR HAR"
Yeah it's done.


Hmmmmm. NO. It's not extra tasty at all! It's just a normal bloody pie. What's going on Big Ben?


THUMBS DOWN. So I guess it's up to me to improve upon the pie now. We'll start with some tomato sauce.


CRIKEY BLIMEY STRUTH CHUZWUZZA AND SO FORTH. I actually have no tomato sauce. This is awful! I'll be sent to New Zealand for this crime.


But I have some smokey BBQ. It's a big value pack, too. Of.. smokey BBQ.


Aw hell, now it looks like something I'd blast out into the toilet after a dodgy kebab bought from some bloke set up next to the pub. If I've learnt anything from poofy cooking shows, it's that food simply can't be tasty unless it looks like a work of art. Also that the food has to be smaller than a thumbtack. Well, we can go for one of those!


Ah yes, this will go nicely.


BLAST 'O YELLOW. Still needs more, darling. Perhaps some green? I searched, got nothin'. There was a tiny bit of mint jelly, but not enough for a positive tasty effect.


But wait, some blue! That'll mix with the lemon butter!


Awwww yeah.


That looks fucking awesome. I should hang it in an art gallery. We'll top it off with


A biscuit. Annnd ooooh...




Yum! Now for the extra tasty trial.


Oh yeah, good texture. Feels nice. Yeah. Oh God I'm gettin' excited, there's sperm in my pants.


ARRRGLE


BARRGLE


EXTRA TASTY

Currently Playing: ¡Forward, Russia! - Nine

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Apr 23, 2007 - 09:08 AM
Haven't done one of these since Febru-fuck, drowned
The Taikai Kemono / Deep Water



Developer: Tamsoft
Publisher: 505 GameStreet
Where to buy: Davy Jones' Locker
He'll even chuck in some weeeed maaaaan... seaweed.

What the hell is this? Water, guns, blood, but not a breast in site! D3 must have been drunk to green light this game. Deep Water is very Waterworld-ish in that the world is.. mostly water. There is an introduction to this game, but rather than explaining why everything is wet, you just get a close up of your boat (at one point the camera goes through the boat like a ghost) and a screen telling you to go to the Harbour Shop. Very emotional intro, Square could learn a thing or two. So off we go, vrooooom, Harbour Shop! This is where you go to chat to people to learn the controls of the game. Except you don't actually see these people, and they CHARGE YOU MONEY for these insider secrets. You start off with no money so uuuh.. there's one exciting reason to read the instruction manual for a change.

Harbour Shop also acts as a place to buy weapons and obtain missions. First mission, go kill some sea monsters! "Why?" "BECAUSE THEY ARE MONSTERS IN THE SEA, DUH". Time to go to the little dot on the map. The areas you travel around in are as boring as a dead mule caught in a cluster of branches instead of landing in a pool full of kids below. Aside from the shop, there's maybe one or two little islands around. That's it. Very busy. WHOA THE MUSIC HAS GOTTEN DRAMATIC. It's just like Zelda. So like Zelda, when the music gets dramatic, you know you're one step closer to The Ganon™.

You can step away from the steering wheel, which is nice because it would be difficult to harpoon sea monsters from there. Walk on up to your harpoon at the front of the boat and hope like hell they decide to swim about in front of you. If not, you get out your shot gun and become John McClane. The 'sea monsters' range from sharks, to gigantic angry octopussies. Sometimes you'll be lucky and get attacked by cannons that have legs and walk on the water. Because that's what cannons do okay!

Aiming is an absolute disaster, your little dude can only turn around a tiny bit for some reason. So you're constantly running back and forth, trying to predict where they'll go next like a Space Invader. There's no lock on or anything, so we've gone back to 1996. Everyone dance. It's entertaining when say, a shark attacks. Very realistic, Tamsoft did their homework. It'll jump really high in the air and then just fall on top of the boat, and then warp somewhere else. All while the guy makes these orgasmic noises and breakdances on the spot. It's like an educational video.


"How's the water?"
"DEEP"


This is basically the whole game. You go to the Harbour Shop, get missions which all involve killing and move on to new areas which are just like the last. The world is very complex (no I didn't scan it all spaz for once, it's actually printed like that in the manual!) Well except, the missions appear whenever they feel like it. TOO BUSY, COME BACK LATER. That's fantastic, because there's so much to see and do if you aren't on a 007 mission. You can crash into a wall at full speed and get stuck! Or you could try and shoot the seagulls made of paper! It's all go go go! Stuff kinda gets more interesting in the later stages, because you get to take on pirate ships. Ah, the greatest sea monsters of them all! I enjoy defeating them with the shotgun. It must be the greatest bloody shotgun, I swear. You can be thousands of light years away from them and the shot gun will still hit. Yet the harpoon won't, tsk tsk. You're fired! Then uh, we'll pull you back in.

Some of the sea monsters will be extra gigantic-o versions, where one hit pretty much means GAMEU OVAH. You can also run out of petrol, that's kinda bad. Especially if you want to escape a gigantic-o sea monster because you're too much of a wuss to stand and slowly rotate while shotgunning up the joint. But it's worthwhile, because not only is the enemy sized blown up ten thousand percent, so is the BLOOD! You get these massive blurry walls of red all over, it's a party for sure.


That's the greatest water I've ever seen.

The game runs on the Superman 64 engine, Lex Luthor's pumped his smells all over the joint. That's not very good, Tamsoft usually make the nicer looking Simple 2000 games. I guess because this one wasn't about huge tits on underage girls they just didn't care. "WHY BOTHER GOING ON...". The music is pretty nice, especially the title screen. It gives you the impression the game will have gameplay. Also I kinda wish the Japanese name was Kimono instead of Kemono.



You guys should probably play this game it's right up there with Super Mario 64, Tetris and Pac-Man. You'll laugh, you'll cry! You'll cry some more! You'll laugh like a maniac while rocking yourself to sleep! A great fun, a great enjoy! DEEP WATER!

Final scare:
Because the PAL box is something relevant for once!
_______________________________

Fighting Angels
Yakuza Fury
Demolition Girl
Paparazzi
Pinball Fun
Zombie Zone
Space Invaders Revolution
Party Girls
Street Boyz
Deadly Strike
Rollercoaster World
Snowboard Racer 2


Oh oh, also other action packed news while I'm here

- I bought this awesome cheese the other day, oh man it's so awesome!
- I wanna do something cool for my next entry since three zero zero and all but I dunno what.
- News.. uuuumm.. oh yeah, bar course this week. Cutting it a bit close here. You know, like how to pour beer in glasses. Tricky, tricky skills.

Currently Playing: Zool - Candy Land (ROCKIN' BEATS, FULLY SICK, DRAT THERE'S A BEE!)

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[public entry #113]

Apr 20, 2007 - 05:15 AM
Collect the dolls



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[public entry #111]

Apr 15, 2007 - 08:18 AM
1997
I've always wanted to do a FFVII comic. You know how each and every one is absolutely horrible and you cringe so much half your face gets compressed into the roots of your hair? That's what I like about them! So here goes.



And with that, I've done everything possible on the internet. Bye forever!

Currently Playing: Senses Fail - Calling all cars


Response entries:
Cloud-kun! Hey! Cloud-kun! ~ by FatsDomino
They have feelings too, you know by THE POWER OF WATER

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[public entry #110]

Mar 26, 2007 - 02:05 AM
Raiders of the lost bin
Hey guys look what I found in the bin when I was looking for lunch, it is a video game system of some kind!






Sadly it does not play Road Rash for the Mega Drive. BACK TO THE BIN WITH YOU, LUNCH.


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[public entry #108]

Mar 23, 2007 - 12:04 AM
The comments for every YouTube video
Something like this.



Doesn't matter what video it is, someone will always take out their unrelated rage on it. I COULDN'T BUY A PACK OF YU-GI-OH CARDS AT THE CAKE SHOP THE BITCH SAID THEY WERE CLOSING UP FOR THE NIGHT AND THAT THEY DON'T SELL YU-GI-OH CARDS SO I SAID FUCK YOU BITCH AND THIS VIDEO IS SO SHIT. Actually this is the internet in general, but YouTube's the worst. =)

Currently Playing: YMCK - Go! YMCK, Go!

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[public entry #107]

Mar 19, 2007 - 09:51 PM
Headr GFG was babackk
























Currently Playing: The Mad Capsule Markets - Happy Ride

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[public entry #106]

Mar 12, 2007 - 06:11 AM
The name's Something. Something Something.
Spoiler:

Oh man I loved this film starring Largey McButtchin. Did you see that? Programming by the KGB, oh Domark you crack me up into thousands of pieces.


I like my games like my women. In the kitchen. On the moon. Asking me how I want my eggs. Scrambled. That's the difficulty setting we'll pick today! Afterall, James Bond is a ladies man. They ask him for fashion tips and such. The game is so awesome you can choose to have music OR sound effects. Not both at the same time, too intense, too loud, you might alert the guards. Reset High Score? What is this, Frogger? No.

Spoiler:

I had to put it in a spoiler, it's top secret you see. Not this though, you're not seein' this. TOP. SECRET. Oh wait, so were the options! Oh God, what have I done!



Strike a cool pose Bond, yeah yeah, that's good! The budget for this mission must be pretty bad to send him in that dingy. WATCH OUT A SKULL! Perhaps the key to enter castle Shadowgate is inside.


I'll just leave my dingy there, nobody will suspect a thing.


OH GOD I'M HIT, MISSION IS IN CRISIS MODE! I NEED BACKUP, SEND IN THE ARMY.


Wait a second, it was just one of those rare Jumpsthroughsolidplatforms fish! I'll take care of this with my extra long blue bullets.


200? Yes, I'm winning this real life Monopoly. Good, good. Time for a celebration dance.


Ooh yeah, come on now, chugga buuuur wuuuur mmm hmmm.


Dunno why that guy's up there, perhaps he's training for the olympics. Whenever you get near boxes in this game, they FALL DOWN. But laugh out loud box, you can't fool me. Because I'm Bond..


.. James Bon-FUCK!


Wuh oh, enemies have the secret extra long blue bullets too! Good thing he doesn't know how to move his arms up. Kinda off-screen, but there's all these tossers that poke out of port holes, they shoot MASSIVE ORANGE BLOBS from their guns. Clearly castle Shadowgate is up to bigger biggerest no good than any of us could have imagined. Maybe this ladder will take me somewhere.




Ah! Qwarky left his floating suitcases floating around again, I'd better pick them up.


OH NO THEY'RE JUST FLOATING AWAY!


Some more ladders, great, grand, a banana. I'm getting too old for this!


"Why if it isn't Bird, Larry Bird! Think you're so good wearing that tux on a ship and shootin' mad hoops! Well I'm gonna shoot YOU!"
"Yeah but you're not even holding a gun.. or a basketball"
"SHUT UP"


This is serious, I'd better tackle this with stealth. I'll use a missile on him.


"HAHA found my gun"
"MISSILE!"


I don't know what's happening here, but I think the missile saved the day. Even if it looked nothing like a missile, and it came from the same hand gun.


Eegads, a dead end! Roll the credits, movie's over. Wait wait, what's thiiiis...




Yes! The ultimate spy move, walking through walls. This is quite an advanced tuna ship. John West, the best.


Another wall hey? Nooo problem, I'll just wal-


OH WELL SHIT.


If only I wasn't dead, I'd go download some pornography on the cash register that's just sitting there out in the open.


Have to be extra careful here, can't let him see me.


"HAHA HEY SAILOR GUESS WHERE MY DICK IS HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"AUUUUUGH!!"


"I can levitate"
"I didn't see that one coming, I'm outta here!"
"Shoot him with your orange blobs, port hole man!"
"I'm on it!"
"Well I'm not, because I can levitate"
"Yes, yes, we KNOW! God.."


BIG GASP, a box!


BIGGER GASP, another box! All these supplies going to waste!


"HAHAHA I'LL RACE YA COME ON IT'LL BE AWESOME"
"No running!"


"I said no running!"
"HAHAHAHA LOOKS LIKE I WIN, GIVE ME ALL YOUR POG"








"Nah guys I'm alive, seriously, chuck me some water wings or something will ya? Come on, guys. .. Guys?"


"Aw"



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