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		Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis
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Sal's

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Apr 3, 2009 - 03:50 PM

Forming attatchments to cars

It's a knackered 10 year old Ford Mondeo with numerous problems but it's running and I love it. I got it for nothing off a mate, it's got more miles than the Starship Enterprise but so what? It's a little gem. The way I see it, you fork out X amount of cash on a new car or even a second hand motor and something goes wrong it's a major pissing disappointment. The things wrong my car, it's character. Obviously I won't be so nice about it when it cost a fucking fortune to fix but for now - it's running fine(ish) so all is well. I suppose there's a bit of sentimentality in there too (see last entry on fucked up relationships), but now I can see why so many people spend so much time and money on their cars. I've spent over £50 on cleaning products this week. £90 on 2 new tyres, £30 new wheel trims (one of which I managed to split with some not so gentle foot persuasion because the fucker wouldn't go on.) I'd be happy to spend even more getting all the problems sorted, then getting the cosmetic side of things sorted. The car's worth sod all, i've probably spent more than it's worth already on it but IT'S MY BABY.

My trusty old computer packed in earlier this week too. Pissed off I lost all my files and stuff, but as for the computer itself - i've got as much affection for it as I do my washing machine.
Got a laptop now.

Currently Playing: Kool & The Gang - Jungle Boogie (see last entry for irony)

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Mar 27, 2009 - 09:39 PM

Fuck me it's been a while

Back in England now since November actually and fuck me it's cold. Double fuck me i've actually got 2 jobs. One of which is being a barmaid. Which is good I suppose. Except it pays fuck all and all it is, is stress. It's bad enough being a pisshead to begin with but when you're surrounded by drink all day and night...hoo boy.The other is painting & decorating which I really like. Hopefully getting a shitload of work in the next couple of months and an apprenticeship - weyhey, a trade. My ticket out of this shit hole of a Cuntry.

Also got a car now, not insured yet for various reasons but hopefully that'll be sorted soon. Popped me cherry too (with a bloke - my woman cherry was popped at 17), just thought you'd like to know. Was good at the time, now the cherry has turned a wee bit sour and mouldy (see below. Not literally).

Kinda started smoking again. But gonna stop tomorrow, this week's been nowt but shit & stress. That and my girlyness is starting to kick in. Not like 'having the painters in' sort of thing. Just fucking dodgy relationship(s).

Least i'm getting out these days

Currently Playing: Dread Zeppelin - Jungle Boogie

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Sep 11, 2008 - 02:28 AM

How to fix a toilet and the most expensive copy of TDU ever

The toilet thing, i'm home alone for a while and the bog's knackered. It just doesn't flush properly. Anyone got any ideas? Please don't suggest shitting outside - there's snakes here. I'm no snake expert but i'm going to assume they don't like being shat on.

TDU = Test Drive Unlimited. It was inevitable really - I got dun for beein a pie-rit.
What's more annoying is that the game didn't work. YET, i'm thinking - had I bought the game, took it home, installed it and it didn't work... I go back to the store say 'It didn't work and yes, before you ask, you spotty little kretin, my computer does meet the system requirements,' I'd imagine it's a case of 'tough shit'. The game actually did work, although at a framerate of about two frames per minute. And it seems I wasn't the only one with that problem.
But it'd be my fault for buying a game that doesn't work.
That's why I download games. I do often buy them - I like having a hard copy but I like to know that the item i'm parting cash for does actually work.

Anyway...
Things discovered since being in Australia:
Cockroaches are bastards
Boston Legal is awesome
I miss Top Gear
UK TV/cable is pathetic when it comes to adverts
Tenterfield Terriers need to be more universal
Oh how I miss Top Gear
I really do like cold weather
Crickets/ geckos are noisy fuckers
Being an alcoholic here is easy
I love Koreans
I love Japanese

The last two items on that list are because one i've come to love sushi and sashimi and Japanese scran in general. The Korean thing is because i've discovered a Korean restaurant and even though I have first degree burns in my mouth due to visiting said restaurant, fucking hell, they can cook. One word for you - Bulgogi. Fuck me it's a taste sensation. Oh and Kimchi. Basically spicy cabbage but it's good for ya.

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Aug 19, 2008 - 06:24 AM

Greetings from Spiderland!

Or Australia as it's also known.

So I've decided to come back to GFF. Hooray for... no one.

I've been away from the UK since May, now living in Tropical North Queensland which is tropical weather-wise. Meaning hot. However I did manage to move to one of the two wettest places in Australia so it rains often here. And when it rains, it really does piss down. Sod the old English piddling down, here, it really fucking pisses it. But it's still about 27degrees C, and it's winter here. I've tanned more in a few weeks here than 23 years in England.

I'm not suprised so many people come here to immigrate. It's fucking fantastic. The weather's great, people are nice, less crowded (20 million people - the country itself is huge) you will NOT go hungry (in Cairns at least), you don't get the racial/religious 'tensions' you get in the UK.
Living in England my hair was falling out, I was stressed to fuckery and just plain miserable. And now I have to go back.

The great thing about living in Australia right now for me is that, now I know there's a bigger, better world out there. I fucked up at school but there's ways out of that. I can get a degree from the Open University and then travel. The reason I can't do all this in Australia is mainly because it's one of the hardest countries to get in to, any qualification for international students cost a sodding fortune and lastly, it's actually not a cheap country to live in. So far, i've found it more expensive than the north of England.

Funny thing about moving here though; my mother lives here (why I came here) and about 3 or 4 weeks after I came here she had a heart attack. Then about a week later I found I've got a pretty big gall stone. Then my step-father's mother died. Now the UK are ahead of Australia in the Olympics. Go figure. Oh, and I managed to damage both of their cars. Twice.

Oh well.

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