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Feb 12, 2013 - 10:25 PM |
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It's hard to admit that I'm a Workaholic |
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I guess I haven't wrote a journal in a while, and I guess since everybody is writing life updates, I thought I might as well contribute.
Here we are, 2013, and its been almost 7 years since I decided to move away to try to make a living. Do you want to know the scary part about it, when I first did this it was really hard. This is coming from a guy who has only been off the island twice before 2006.
These days, I'm pretty much gotten use to it. I try to not dwell on things or the difficulty of this entire situation. In the end I have to be pretty proud of everything I've accomplished over the last 6 and a half years, that I know I would of never accomplished if I was still back home in Newfoundland.
As good of a person that I think I am, and how hard I work to try to be an excellent provider, if its something I've learned within these last 7 years is that I'm incredibly stubborn and I have way too much pride. My worse fear is failing the people that depend on me. Failure is not an option and I know I'm strong enough and patient enough to overcome any challenge, unless circumstances happen that were completely out of my control but I make sure I'm well prepared for any hiccups that may happen along the way.
I know I push myself too hard all the time, but its gotten to a point right now that I just buckle down and get the job down. Its almost as second nature to me right now. You know when I went home over the Christmas holidays everybody wanted me to try to relax, and lets face it my time home over the holidays wasn't as near relaxing as what I thought it was going to be. I've kind of adopted the work ethic that I can't relax unless I know everything is done that can be done. I would get up every morning, and I can't really do anything enjoyable unless all the house work is done. I could of probably sat home all day and played video games the last time I was home, but I always feel better you know if I'm being a little bit productive.
I've always had a hard time even being the littlest bit selfish, its something I've often struggled with over the last couple of years. I've been getting a little better at it, I got to take a few trips I've always wanted to go on because I've felt like I deserved it. Like my two trips out to Vancouver over the last two years.
Its kind of funny because my workaholic nature with my job and household chores, have spilled over to my video game hobby. All you guys know I'm a video game completionist, and even though I'd probably get through more video games if I wasn't so anal retentive about doing everything in each game I play. I kind of enjoy the challenge of completing games and it really makes me feel like I'm putting my money's worth into each game I play.
Overall life is good, as good as it can be. I have my wife coming up to visit me for an entire month on the first of march and we're actually going down to vegas for 4 days which should be a pretty cool trip.
With regards to both of us living here in Alberta full time, I still don't know, a lot of things are up in the air right now. I'm still waiting to hear back from my human rights case. If we win, it should make the move a lot more easier, but in all honesty I'm not particularly fond of hitting the reset button and putting myself into another major debt just for both of us to live here. In all honesty at the end of this year, I'm going to have my mortgage down to 5 figures. If I can just get this mortgage paid off as fast as I can, it would make it much easier to move home permanently and take a 40 hour a week job. The biggest drawback with both of us living here is that its just so damn expensive even if both of us was working.
I'll figure something out, I always do even if it sends me to hell and back.
In all seriousness, the biggest struggle I deal with is I've adopted the all work and no play attitude with regards to life, and it can get a little depressing from time to time. It doesn't really help that I feel lonely a lot of the time, and its just the nature of the work when you work up in the oil fields.
I've been trying my best to deal with the constant loneliness but sometimes it can be hard. I really have to thank a lot of gff friends for making time to make sure I'm doing alright especially Sass, Skills, Deni, and Term.
I want to especially thank Philia as well, she is literally the most hardcore girl gamer I know. She is definitely not the type of person to give you false sympathy, but she is very supportive and very understanding and its really good to have people like that in your life. Let's face it, life is not easy, nor should it ever be, and she's had her share of challenges and she can definitely relate to some of the things I go through. She is one of the few people that can give me a good kick in the ass when I certainly deserve it especially when it comes to video games.
I do skype with my wife every night or every other night, and it helps as well, I just really wish I kind of had a life outside of work, but you know if I want to have a retirement and get everything paid off I'll do this as long as I can.
Listen deep down, I don't say all this because I'm looking for sympathy because I'm really not. I don't want people to feel sorry for me because in the end nobody forced me to do this, this was my choice because I want to have a life I can look forward to. I'm grateful for everything I've accomplished over the last 6 and half years. I might feel like I'm missing out on a lot, but you know its like my dad says the short term pain for the long term gain.
Besides I'm really treating myself to something great this year and that's obviously the GFF Meet, that will give me a perfect time to recharge my batteries for the hectic busy summer season.
Only 4 months away.
| Currently Playing: Dragon Quest VI - DS |
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