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Aug 3, 2010 - 08:49 AM |
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I completely forgot this ChocoJournal existed. |
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Seriously, where the hell have I been?
This is mainly a shout-out to all my old friends at Gamingforce. If you don't know who I am, I hope the name IKarusZino rings a bell  .
I hate to say it, but I drifted away from this place and no matter how many times I tried to come back, I just couldn't do it. Everything is different now. Different people, seemingly different overall attitude. I wish I could come back, so I'm going to try again.
The thing that originally pulled me away from Gamingforce was Final Fantasy XI back in 2003 or so. I became so obsessed with the game that I played it non-stop for almost a year, which almost broke me and Jonquil up. I basically went into my shell and didn't really try to come back out.
A lot has happened. I've had quite a few jobs. I quit my most recent job in December of 2009 due to safety issues. I didn't really have a good plan, and now I'm unemployed and broke. I also found out through doctors that I have ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome which explains everything about me.
I realize Asperger's has somewhat of a bad reputation due to morons using it as an excuse to behave badly. I'm not one of those morons. I take full responsibility for my actions. The problem I have with Asperger's Syndrome is the over-sensory issues. My sense of touch is so fucking jacked up that coming into contact with most materials actually causes me pain to touch. It is causing me a great deal of depression, especially with my relationship.
Other than that ground-breaking revelation, I've just been working on my music. I've tried to share my music here several times and doubt I got much attention, which is OK. I'm not really much for getting attention. In fact, Gamingforce is the only place that gave me any sort of serious attention, and for that I am grateful. I just wish I wasn't so self-destructive, earning my reputation for most times quitting something :P
I just want to let you know I'm doing OK. I also would like to reach out to the oldbies individually if possible to see how they are doing.
If anyone is interested in my music, it's all over at Alphadeus.com. I'm a bit of a savant with the piano (very small bit ). I do "Piano Journals" which is just me playing the piano, whatever I feel like, for however long I feel like. I hope you enjoy what you listen to.
Glad to see this place is still here. I really want to try to just come back if possible. I look forward to reconnecting with oldbies as well as making new friends. Take care.
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