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Jun 25, 2009 - 03:36 PM |
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ITE: I curse my grandparents to die without forgiveness |
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A couple days ago my father's parents called the house wanting to talk to me. More specifically my grandfather. These people have not really wanted to speak to me by choice since I was around 11.
He goes on to inform me that now, after all this time, they have decided they want forgiveness. While I was pretty much shocked by this sudden decision, I said no and passed the phone on to my dad, since I didn't want to deal with them.
My dad informs me that this has come about due to them seeing that they are nearing the end of their lives, and they don't want to go on without getting me to forgive them.
They want me to forgive them. These very same people who have called me dyke, murderer, whore, and many other unsavory things TO MY FACE. These people who told lies about me to my other family members. These people that perpetuate this idea that my sister's death was my fault, that think that my being gay is somehow an affront to THEM. That I chose to just make their lives hell. They want me to just say "I forgive you. Peace on your journey to the other side, brother."
Fuck that.
If I had a list of things that they said to me, or about me, or things they suggested my parents do to have me "fixed" it'd be very long. Very fucking long.
Now, my father seems to understand why I am refusing, but seems confident that I will eventually. Meanwhile I get emails from cousins or a call from my uncle, asking why I am being so cruel to them. Why I am being so cruel. For all the talk (mostly from them) of me being crazy, why do I feel like I am the only one here who is fucking sane?
Either way, I have no intention of forgiving them. Ever. Family is a word that means nothing to me as far as they go.
Die in agony you fucking cunts. Go ahead and turn everybody against me. I've been dealing with it for years and I can weather it far better than I could when I was younger.
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